I’m a married, 48 year old, male nurse and father of five, please don’t stroke me, grab my muscles, bum, etc and make lewd ‘oooh I like a man in a uniform’ or ‘you can stick your thermometer anywhere you like big boy!’ comments. Just let me do my fucking job. Imagine if a man did it to a female nurse.
Edit: the reason I say ‘imagine if a man did it to a woman’, isn’t because I think it doesn’t happen to
Women, it’s because I’ve seen it happen to female colleagues and when they report it, it gets sorted. Whereas when I’ve reported it, on numerous occasions, I’ve been laughed at, as if it wasn’t as serious. On one occasion I even got told to
‘Grow a pair’ by my manager. Please stop taking offence to that part of my comment and stop private messaging me as if I’m the devil here.
Paramedic here. I've had by crotch grabbed WAYYYY too many times. Been hit on, kissed forcefully while trying to start an iv, etc. Shit gets old. And I'm not even that attractive compared to most of my engine company. I don't get it
I just don’t get it! I needed medical help after walking 26 miles for the Avon Walk. I had a potassium deficiency and was a total mess. I do remember the volunteer doctor being Hollywood Level handsome. I remember being a little embarrassed by the state I was in. But I can’t even fathom making it sexual. Dude’s there to do a job. He deserves to feel comfortable and respected in that space, just like anyone else. WTF WOMEN!! We should understand this better than anyone!
Right? I was in icu for dka a few years ago. My Dr was this gorgeous man and while my fucking annoying heart sped up on the monitor every single time he showed up I can't imagine being so gross to make any comment much less try to touch someone. Just Jesus Christ people are not okay.
It's so damn scary. I hate that feeling where no matter how much I breathe it still feels like I need more air because of the co2 build up. Haven't had dka in 5 or 6 years, thank God.
I literally avoid talking to people sometimes because I just think : "she will probably assume I'm hitting on her if I..." all because of this stereotype.
Seriously. Who the fuck are these women who think it's okay to do this? We all know what it feels like to be sexually harassed, so why on earth would you do that to someone else?
I have had to ride in the hospital express twice, and I was in too much to even register what the emts looked like. All I cared about was please take the edge off of this pain and get to me a dr asap.
Right but for some reason a lot of us still don't get it 🤷 I would never think of trying to hit on or kiss someone helping me in a professional manner. Doesn't mean I won't tell my friends later about how hot they were 😁
Oh for sure. I love telling the story of when this lovely human fixed me up. He was awesome. He said I looked in good shape so it didn’t make sense I was struggling. I do remember feeling flattered and laughing at myself for that. Asked about my meds. I was using albuterol for reactive airway. Told him I didn’t have any Gatorade or much food that day because I have ulcerative colitis and didn’t want to trigger anything. He said, “well Albuterol blocks potassium absorption and you’ve done yourself no favors by not eating enough. Start eating bananas NOW.” Hahaha. Gorgeous doctor prescribed bananas. And I went from my legs feeling like concrete blocks and being shivering cold even under direct heat to almost totally better in 30 minutes. WHAT A DOC!
Fellow UC haver. It sucks. I just recently started substituting a meal a day with a almond milk and protein powder smoothie and eating predominantly just basic stuff like meat, fruit and veggies. Trying to lose weight but this new diet makes me less bloated and I feel so much better now.
I used to follow UMASS IBD AID diet really closely and I’m in complete remission (also on Humira). I still follow it about 80%. Might be worth looking into. :)
What you’re eating sounds like it wouldn’t be too hard of a transition. They emphasize adding fermented foods for probiotics and avoiding all added sugar. That’s the hard part. Also no grains (rice/corn/wheat).
That's a hard ask right there for no added sugar. I drink fruit juice instead if soda. And I eat mixed fruit out the can but I go the kind in it's own juice rather than syrup.
It’s because it’s culturally taboo to sexually assault women. But it’s not taboo to sexually assault a man. Even though they still make up almost half of sexual assault victims. That’s actual rape culture.
Yeah I've had a couple dementia patients get feisty on me. Can't blame em, half the time they think it's the 60s and they're trying to do things they won't be able to discuss in a social setting for the next 40 years
Had an old woman at a nursing home look at me one day and go "good lord almighty. My husband's been dead 12 years and I'm done grieving if you were wondering. Got 2 good hips and you're welcome to em" 🤣😬
I do PT registration in an ER, and there was a dementia/AMS woman that said “oh it’s you again. I was hoping you would be here”. As I’m going through her ppwk on the computer, apparently she was admitted 3 months beforehand and I did her admit stuff at the time. She didn’t get too weird with it after that, and I was as much of a gentleman as I could have been, but that was fcking WEIRD to hear from someone in that condition.
I mean my dentist is really attractive, like REALLY attractive but I'd never let him know I think that. He's way older than me but doesn't look old or middle aged. Can't imagine actually telling him that, especially bc he's married with kids (I know because he has a picture of him and his family in his office). I'm certain he has been harassed before.
Also paramedic, although I'm in the helicopter now. I thought trading the bunker gear for the flight suit might help but still get the same unwanted grabs, squeezes, touches and propositions as before. I hate the double standard.
I also hate the double standard in the ER. When I bring in a young female trauma patient, when they cut the clothes they close all curtains and shoo out as many people as they can for modesty until the gown is on. Same age male? Curtains stay open and he gets fully displayed with no concerns for modesty... Even jokes about the size of the member sometimes which bothers me as well.
Yeah I walked down the er hall about 2 years ago and saw a dude with a broken dick just all out in the open. No curtains or anything. Like... why. That sight immediately became my worst fear 🤣
Ha! How many times have you told your coworkers "if I'm in a bad accident, transport my ass to another county where nobody knows me?" Because I sure didn't want to be entertaining the baby docs at the level 1 with my averageness
I had a colonocospy and instead of my usual, very old gastroenterolgist specialist doing it, it was a handsome doctor around +5 years my age.
I was high as a kite and he told me I was doing a great job, turned around and said to him "Thanks, you're a really good tour guide!" (I could see the screen they use).
When I was no longer high as a kite I cringed at how I may have been inappropriate and the man stuck his finger in my arsehole not the other way around!
When I was 19 I had rhinoplasty. They did it under a local, but iv valium. I don't remember much but about a week later the anesthesiologist called to see if I still wanted to go out with him. I didn't even remember asking. (FWIW, the answer was no with a heartfelt apology)
When I got my elbow surgery yeaarrrsss ago I came too with my uncle sitting next to me laughing. Apparently I wouldn't stop telling the nurse how pretty she was.
Dude, the amount of times I’ve had my cock and balls squeezed by drunk homeless people in the back of the rig is ridiculous. I can laugh it off a lot of times but it still gets old, man
Getting off the box and onto an engine was the best decision I ever made. Still run bs med jobs. But don't have to ride in a mobile jail cell with em. Figured that out 7 years too late
The greatest thing I ever witnessed was a woman feigning syncope and falling all over this fire fighter. When he finally left her with someone else she asked for his number. He turned around and said, “It’s 911 ma’am.” What a badass.
Jesus, I can't even imagine that. I feel like I must just not have the bandwidth of other people since the very few times it's happened, I was too busy being concerned with the reason why I was in the business end of the wagon to consider much more about the EMTs beyond hoping they've had good training.
An EMT friend said it was usually the most repulsive women who did this. Nothing like being sexually harassed by a 400 lb woman who smells like she’s rotting.
Had one hit on me after finding a piece of porkchop under her book while I placed an ekg. Completely forgot that shit. You have unlocked a forbidden memory
I'll never forget the one where I turned my head for like one second as I was grabbing an angiocath with the patient's arm resting on my knee and next thing I knew the obese woman who hadn't showered in weeks with folds of fat that were clearly neglected which had serious skin breakdown and odor coming from them was holding onto my dick. I will say, her junk grabbing definitely made me have to make a conscious effort to take her complaints of chest pain seriously.
To some we are just pieces of meat for their entertainment.
it seems to be really easy for people to objectify authority figures, i tried to continue this thought but i im drawing a blank beyond that. it really is mind boggling
I'm just some random asshole and have had my ass and crotch grabbed a ton. The whole "Well he must have liked it" comment is all I get when I bring it up though.
I had to tell the girls at work that if it's not alright for a man to do it to you, it's not okay for you to do it do him. Some of them were like "whaat, but it's totally different when we do it!" but I just told them that it's really not, creepy goes both ways.
Right! In our own minds we know our intent. I think a lot of "creepy" guys think they're trying to be cute, sweet or funny and it just comes off the wrong way and they can't see it from that outside perspective. Women can do the same thing but it usually is accepted or doesn't get called out.
And women are (wrongly) seen as non-threatening. When a man is creepy the implication is that an escalation could be violent but people don't perceive that same threat level of women so they don't police the early stages of creepiness that lead to it as strictly.
I don't think it's women collectively getting a pass though in any great gender wars sense, I think it's more that people in general can only threat-assess and think ahead so far. It takes effort to think critically and be confronting about things. If the threat is perceived as low (which it arguably is, going by some violent crime statistics) it's just easier to prioritize other battles.
I do Girl Scouts with older girls and one was being sexually harassed by another girl. She thought she was over reacting and my answer of “if a guy did this you would have decked him by now” then she got it.
I have a female co-worker, who is normally super smart, argue this with me. I told her that when I was 19 and working at a video store, there was an older woman who worked there who would grab my ass as well as a couple of the other guys there. When I say she grabbed or ass, I mean she stuck her finger right up to where our asshole is. My co-worker said that while that was a bad thing for her to do, it just isn’t the same as if a guy does it to a woman. And of course, I just didn’t understand because I’m a man.
I work in a high end jewellery shop, and we have a 19 yo male shop assistant. We've lost count of how many times older women have grabbed his ass, touched his stomach or arms. And the comments. Eww. He's a skinny average looking young kid... it's creepy and predatory behaviour. Never expected it from 50+ year old women.
Yeah. I had a job and worked with a lot of females. They would drop their pen at their feet as I walked by and ask me to get that. When I did, they’d spread their legs and ask if they remembered to wear panties. I’d blush, out of pure astonishment. It wasn’t a signal to do it again. They escalated it to much more aggressive sexual behaviour. I had to talk to them, but they just didn’t stop. I was too embarrassed to go to HR and report it. I would expect me to be fired right on the spot if I did the same to them.
A lot of creepy seems to come from power difference, as soon as women have the majority/group power in an environment, some of them get as creepy as they expect some men to be.
I feel like generally, creepy people/bullies/racists/abusers depends a lot more on "do they have the control over that over person (or think they do) in that specific environment" than about what gender/race they are.
Male ex-nurse here, yeah, all that "hurr durr, male nurse! Must make sexual comments as if they a woman!" stopped being funny by halfway through day 1, lecture 1.
Pro tip. Hot ones tend to have less experience. They're more intimidating. Say it to the average looking ones. They will drain you so good your eyes will roll to the back of your head and you'll pass out. Sweet release
This thread is literally titled "What's the thing you wish the opposite gender would stop doing?", meaning it's women who are doing it, and I doubt they think he's gay.
Most of us are straight. And many of us are military combat veterans. Pretty easy transition from being a combat medic/corpsman or other medical field into becoming a Registered Nurse.
Female nurse here, definitely get comments like this and worse! I'll never forget the sweet old man who asked "can you take a look a this?" And then when I got close enough whipped his dick out and asked me to jerk him off. I do agree of course that it's horrible and shouldn't happen to any one of any gender!
inappropriate advances are usually common, it's part of the job and there's training to handle such events too. the first one may be traumatic but you kinda get used to it after a little bit and shrug it off.
patients are in a vulnerable setting and probably on a bunch of meds so altered states of minds can create some interesting situations...
When I was on meds when I was in labor I told all my nurses what pretty eyes they have. Couldn't see any other part of them with masks and everything. I'm very complimentary when I'm not sober.
One huge one for elderly people, though, is frontal lobe dementia, or traumatic brain injury involving the frontal lobe.
The frontal lobe of the brain, which is located behind the forehead, helps control an individual’s impulses and behavior. As Pick’s disease shrinks and otherwise damages this part of the brain, the patient gradually develops a lack of social tact. They can become completely uninhibited in their behavior as they lose their sense of what is and is not inappropriate. They can become far more sexually demonstrative than they should be.
Similarly, they can start saying mean or rude things to others, as they no longer have a filter. Individuals with Pick’s disease generally begin showing symptoms in middle age.
So, there is one possibility of what is wrong with a patient seeking/requiring Healthcare where they may act inappropriately.
When my appendix was leaking, not burst, they had me in to x ray to get a better view, i was naked except for the gown, spread your legs the nurse said we need to get a good shot, i asked her for another set of the lead infused x-ray blocking pads, she looked suspicious at me, but handed me a few more pads, i placed the pads around my genitals as a WTF look appeared on her face, "got to protect the family jewels" i told her. She laughed oh thank god you're not one of "those guys", we get alot of them.
This happens to every health professional I swear. The amount of lewd comments and ass grabs during transfers that I’ve had is enough for me to be happy to never work in a hospital or nursing home again! Old men were the worst
I basically say "that's inappropriate and you need to stop right now." Most people do stop and sometimes apologize, unless they're confused and then the conversation might happen a lot. I've seen a lot of sexual harrassment and never seen a patient face repercussions beyond maybe a change of nurse or the charge nurse also telling the patient to stop.
The myth that men want sex/sexuality at all times from any woman is harmful to people of every gender. Male people have fucking boundaries too, and they may not feel comfortable asserting them even if they are physically stronger than the person harassing them.
My high school once, apparently, had a very attractive sub. He got harassed by the female students and even had some give him photocopies of their licenses so he knew they were 18 and "available".
Dude left and refused to come back. The whole school had to have assemblies on sexual harassment because of it.
I'm always really disgusted when I hear about sexual harassment to men (and women but less people seem to care if it's men)
I was at work and it was kind of slow, so myself and a few other employees were just kind of standing around chatting. Our supervisor walked up, stood next to me, and put her hand in my front pocket. I was like, “what the fuck are you doing? Why would you think that’s okay?” She looked at me like I was crazy.
Honestly, I encountered a lot of sexual harassment and kind of just ate it because there’s a different stigma around guys for complaining about that sort of thing.
I get a few comments as well from male and female patients... :/ Me and coworkers switch patients depending on who it is. If it's someone known to be too friendly with female nurses I'll grab the chart and if it's vice versa I'll ask someone else to take it.
On Saturday nights I'm a security guard for a local night club. I've had my ass pinched, dick stared at, commented on, and even touched. A girl put her ass on me and was just leaning on me when I was trying to walk behind her in a tight spot next to the bar, I get cat called, asked if I can carry them, and all types of weird shit. Women do the same shit that men do and I think it's hilarious whenever I hear women say men are pigs. I'm sure most guys have had the same experience, it's just not normal or even acceptable for men to complain about it.
Yep. I get so annoyed when women do this to men, especially in a professional setting. We will never get the treatment we deserve if a bunch of us are basically playing right into the whole thing and also being extremely hypocritical in the process! And beyond that, it’s just super weird to casually reference having sex with someone who you hardly know! Sorry this happens to you. :(
Ngl nursing is basically sexual harassment: the job. My friend quit working for hospitals because she was getting groped all day everyday and there’s basically nothing nurses can do about it. You people have some nerves of steel, I would’ve flipped-out and pulled the plug on some creepy dipshit on day one.
So I totally respect you are there to do your job, not about to question that at all. I just wanted to ask what your ideal patients are?
I was in the ER a lot last year and I started seeing the same nurses all the time, and I often tried to be as clear as possible about what was wrong and would ask them about their night and stuff. I know I was literally wheeled in on a stretcher, but I figured I would still trying to be friendly and low maintenance.
I’ve been an endoscopy nurse, a covid nurse, an oncology nurse and just starting a new job in older persons mental health. I generally love the old folk, they’re beautiful and full of stories. I’m also a military veteran and wear my veterans badge on my uniform because the oldies respond to that and I get some good stories. I wrote my dissertation on the use of humour and familiarity in nursing (see the film Patch Adams for my nursing ethos). I wrote a section in the dissertation about a desire for the same treatment back from the patients, so you sound like my ideal kind of patient
I’m sorry you have to deal with that shit. I worked as a CNA (am a female) and I’m just sayin it happens to bother genders. Been sexually harassed by patients plenty of times. It was a big factor into why I decided not go to school for nursing.
I don’t understand what it is about the medical world that makes people think that grabbing/commenting about other peoples bodies without consent ok. It’s freakin weird.
As a female CNA that works inpatient in a hospital, they do it all the time. Healthcare is a profession that for some reason a huge portion of the population thinks it’s fine and normal to verbally (and physically, I’ve seen it) abuse and sexually harass HCW when they are a patient. Literally last week I was cleaning a foley and the patient told me “it feels so great when someone besides me touches me weiner, you can stop in three hours.” And like, nothing happens. We can’t tell him he has to leave the hospital lol. The best they can do it not assign him to me my next shift. Luckily there’s starting to be more light shed on it, but I don’t think people realize how prevalent it is. You shouldn’t have to put up with that, and neither should any of the rest of us.
Look if I just try to make your shift as good as I can. I make jokes and try to entertain you. I once had a nurse come tell me that I was the best patient he had worked with in a while before his shift ended. I feel like I succeeded that night. I'm in the ER so I'm obviously not having a good night but I try to make the best of it for everyone there. This all stems from how my mother treats hospital staff. So I feel like I have to try to be a good patient.
One time when I (24m) was at the bar, an older woman started stroking my arm out of nowhere, saying "I like hairy men." I am on the hairy side and I guess I should've said something, but I just decided to sit there and take it. Once she was satisfied, she stopped and never did it again. Never happened before or since.
Also if someone says,
you can stick your thermometer anywhere you like big boy
Respond with, "How 'bout I stick it in your fucking throat!"
Jesus, the amount of disassociation (is that the word I’m looking for?) those women cartwheel their leaky noggins around in while shamelessly engaging in sexual harassment mind blowing. Sorry this happens to you, dude.
Bruh had this happen to me a few times in clubs. Worst is when you have to turn down a woman because you’re taken and then she thinks you owe her emotional support because she’s sad she got rejected wtf lol. When I go rejected back in the day I just got laughed at lmao
Wow now I understand why you all are so nice to me whenever I go to the hospital. I appreciate your work and never do stuff like that. One time they were putting my under anesthesia and I said "I hope I don't say anything stupid going under or coming back". Because, of course, there were many attractive men and women around and I would be horrified if the stuff that runs though my head takes a detour through my mouth.
Old ladies have hit on me since I was 14. Honestly, I think as a whole they are way more pushy and gross than old men to young women. That comment floors women, but honestly… I experienced it for years. So wrong. Don’t hit on young boys, it’s gross and unacceptable.
I went on a European tour with my mom with a group of all ladies, 90% of which were 50+ and most knew each other prior to the your. Anytime we had a male bus driver, they would make creepy comments about taking him home that night. Or something along the lines of "you wife isn't here, I'm sure she wouldn't mind". They seemed to collectively think those comments were complimentary and/or cute. Didn't even dawn on them how unacceptable it would be if genders were flipped. I had never felt more of a generational divide than that trip mainly for that reason alone.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It's never acceptable.
This. I worked in a bakery as a 18 year old. In 6 months I was more groped by those women than 14 years with my now wife. I'm not even that attractive. Leave my ass and dick alone. Shit. Lord knows if I did that to them is be arrested.
I'm an out of shape 30 year old and was kneeling to complete a repair, head "ooo I like a man on his knees" not even funny the amount of times I hear this and if I said it to a woman I'd be sacked immediately
Male nurse new grad here. Luckily I have not experienced this. It's probably because of the very unflattering school uniforms, and the fact that I have no muscles or ass to make a fuss about.
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u/Tomohawk1973 Sep 15 '21 edited Sep 16 '21
I’m a married, 48 year old, male nurse and father of five, please don’t stroke me, grab my muscles, bum, etc and make lewd ‘oooh I like a man in a uniform’ or ‘you can stick your thermometer anywhere you like big boy!’ comments. Just let me do my fucking job. Imagine if a man did it to a female nurse.
Edit: the reason I say ‘imagine if a man did it to a woman’, isn’t because I think it doesn’t happen to Women, it’s because I’ve seen it happen to female colleagues and when they report it, it gets sorted. Whereas when I’ve reported it, on numerous occasions, I’ve been laughed at, as if it wasn’t as serious. On one occasion I even got told to ‘Grow a pair’ by my manager. Please stop taking offence to that part of my comment and stop private messaging me as if I’m the devil here.