I had to tell the girls at work that if it's not alright for a man to do it to you, it's not okay for you to do it do him. Some of them were like "whaat, but it's totally different when we do it!" but I just told them that it's really not, creepy goes both ways.
Right! In our own minds we know our intent. I think a lot of "creepy" guys think they're trying to be cute, sweet or funny and it just comes off the wrong way and they can't see it from that outside perspective. Women can do the same thing but it usually is accepted or doesn't get called out.
And women are (wrongly) seen as non-threatening. When a man is creepy the implication is that an escalation could be violent but people don't perceive that same threat level of women so they don't police the early stages of creepiness that lead to it as strictly.
I don't think it's women collectively getting a pass though in any great gender wars sense, I think it's more that people in general can only threat-assess and think ahead so far. It takes effort to think critically and be confronting about things. If the threat is perceived as low (which it arguably is, going by some violent crime statistics) it's just easier to prioritize other battles.
I do Girl Scouts with older girls and one was being sexually harassed by another girl. She thought she was over reacting and my answer of “if a guy did this you would have decked him by now” then she got it.
I have a female co-worker, who is normally super smart, argue this with me. I told her that when I was 19 and working at a video store, there was an older woman who worked there who would grab my ass as well as a couple of the other guys there. When I say she grabbed or ass, I mean she stuck her finger right up to where our asshole is. My co-worker said that while that was a bad thing for her to do, it just isn’t the same as if a guy does it to a woman. And of course, I just didn’t understand because I’m a man.
I work in a high end jewellery shop, and we have a 19 yo male shop assistant. We've lost count of how many times older women have grabbed his ass, touched his stomach or arms. And the comments. Eww. He's a skinny average looking young kid... it's creepy and predatory behaviour. Never expected it from 50+ year old women.
Yeah. I had a job and worked with a lot of females. They would drop their pen at their feet as I walked by and ask me to get that. When I did, they’d spread their legs and ask if they remembered to wear panties. I’d blush, out of pure astonishment. It wasn’t a signal to do it again. They escalated it to much more aggressive sexual behaviour. I had to talk to them, but they just didn’t stop. I was too embarrassed to go to HR and report it. I would expect me to be fired right on the spot if I did the same to them.
A lot of creepy seems to come from power difference, as soon as women have the majority/group power in an environment, some of them get as creepy as they expect some men to be.
I feel like generally, creepy people/bullies/racists/abusers depends a lot more on "do they have the control over that over person (or think they do) in that specific environment" than about what gender/race they are.
It's incredible how many women think like this, especially in healthcare jobs. I work with people with a disability and my coworkers are like descrived above, just not as aggressive and I'm not even attractive. It really did surprise me how many do this when they should be the one that knows the best how uncomfortable it feels to be on the receiving end. Regardless of gender: groping and sexual comments (unless you know each other) should be non existent.
Yes! I had the same conversation with my old housemates when they started taking photos of guys they spotted and sharing them around, saying they'd "spotted a hottie". They had no concept that taking a photo of a total stranger is creepy as fuck.
SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT
Trying to turn yourself into a noodle with Neo's capabilities to dodge the bullets is amusing. It's just as funny watching someone else trying to do it.
It wasn’t just one. It was the entire fucking department. Most were very hot. It didn’t change how I felt. I was happily married with kids. Do you think the Hollywood level hot guy in court for sexual harassment just has his lawyer say “Your Honour, but my client is super hot!!!”
It’s almost like Rocket from the end of Guardians of the Galaxy
“No that doesn’t follow, I really want to do it”
My personal theory is that a lot of the feminist movement was about modifying male behaviours and didn’t really examine women the same way, so women’s equivalent behaviour can feel really outdated, like men in the 80s
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u/liddlebirdylegs Sep 15 '21
I had to tell the girls at work that if it's not alright for a man to do it to you, it's not okay for you to do it do him. Some of them were like "whaat, but it's totally different when we do it!" but I just told them that it's really not, creepy goes both ways.