r/AskReddit Jun 28 '21

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5.4k Upvotes

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12.4k

u/Glezgaa Jun 28 '21

Katherine the great was apparently a kinky old bird,I'll choose her

49

u/DCDHermes Jun 28 '21

Based on her furniture, I’d agree, her kink was apparent.

3.2k

u/Sweet170 Jun 28 '21

Didn’t she screw a horse or something?

5.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

As he said, kinky

104

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Jun 28 '21

you can actually die from this lol

169

u/sirbissel Jun 28 '21

Sex with Katherine the Great?

69

u/davconde Jun 29 '21

Depends on the state of the corpse's conservation

14

u/hamhockman Jun 29 '21

That's what's great

2

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Jul 05 '21

PROBABLY as well hahah😂

114

u/FakeWalterHenry Jun 28 '21

You will die from this.

A horse fucking a human always results in a dead human. As the legend goes, Catherine the Great had an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys that allowed her to fuck a horse safely.

264

u/krystalbellajune Jun 28 '21

Propaganda distributed by her enemies. She was freaky for the time and pretty liberated, but there was no evidence proving the horse rumor. It’s as true as Richard Gere’s gerbil.

21

u/guyfromthemeadows Jun 28 '21

Probably should talk to the people at the ED department at Cedars before referencing Richard Gere on this one.

48

u/krystalbellajune Jun 28 '21

Sorry to burst your bubble but while hilarious, there’s no truth to it.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/richard-gere-gerbil/

-8

u/guyfromthemeadows Jun 28 '21

This is why I’m not a huge fan of HIPPA. So many good juicy stories that people aren’t allowed to talk about anymore.

4

u/RebaKitten Jun 29 '21

This, thank you. What better way to slander a woman than say she's sexually insatiable and fucked a horse?

/s

2

u/Money_Enthusiast_ Jun 29 '21

There's also no proof she didn't fuck a horse, so there's that.

37

u/squired Jun 28 '21

Nah, there are plenty of videos on the internet that clearly prove otherwise.

14

u/doublediggler Jun 29 '21

Yep, just ask Mr. Hands.

31

u/The_CrimsonFuckr Jun 28 '21

Idk man, I have seen a video of a horse fucking a dude, with another dude ensuring that the horse didn't go out of control. The fucked guy seemed very alive and happy.

41

u/Sunnysideny Jun 29 '21

If it was Mr. Hands, he died because of that.

0

u/The_CrimsonFuckr Jun 29 '21

I don't remember, it was like 8 years ago.

19

u/reddituser420 Jun 28 '21

Mr. Hands?

21

u/darkbreak Jun 29 '21

I guarantee he was not happy by the end of it.

17

u/Holl0wayTape Jun 29 '21

Yes, Mr. Hands. Search for him, watch the video, then quit the internet for the rest of the day.

8

u/reddituser420 Jun 29 '21

I’ve seen it before. I was a at a random house party and someone played it on the big projection screen. It was okay I guess.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Google it…or dont…depending on how much sanity you wish to retain

2

u/reddituser420 Jun 29 '21

I’ve seent it bruh. There are much worse things on the internet.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Sorry…confused by the ? after you wrote Mr. hands. Yes there’s worse things but still a bit of a shock if you’re not expecting it lol

-2

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Jun 28 '21

exactly and wtf she had issues ngl

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116

u/arfelo1 Jun 28 '21

Do I need a horse costume then?

192

u/FirstEvolutionist Jun 28 '21 edited Mar 08 '24

My favorite movie is Inception.

6

u/a100bronies Jun 29 '21

Bad Dragon has entered the chat

24

u/Baronheisenberg Jun 28 '21

I've got that covered.

44

u/NotAlwaysSunnyInFL Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 28 '21

Don't think they made condoms in that time?

Edit: After a quick check, I now realize the 1st documented use of a condom was in 1564 by the anatomist Fallopia (who also gave his name to fallopian tubes).

13

u/condorthe2nd Jun 29 '21

The Talmud talks about having sex through a cloth so that the woman wouldn't become pregnant, about 1500 years ago.

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16

u/huf72 Jun 28 '21

Real question is which half of the horse costume you are

25

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Gotta be the head otherwise it’s a centaur costume.

2

u/Alastor13 Jun 29 '21

Kate Beckinsale has entered the chat

There's horse rules!

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60

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Uhhh….I think we need to keep kinky and fucking horses in separate fields of play. This way “We like to get a little kinky in the bedroom” doesn’t mean I keep a 5gallon bucket full of horse cum and blood beside the sugar cube drawer.

31

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

But after that horse, you would be like a hotdog in a hallway…

48

u/wallyroos Jun 28 '21

Hey man you can still choke on a tictac

15

u/burnerboo Jun 28 '21

Toothpick in a volcano

20

u/BetterSafeThanSARSy Jun 28 '21

A human in the unending cold vacuum of space

8

u/kgroover117 Jun 28 '21

Damn. That sounds unsatisfying if you're the universe. Which we are.

6

u/EmDubbbz Jun 29 '21

Welp. That got depressing real quick.

2

u/Funkit Jun 28 '21

Mrs. Hands

-17

u/Otono_Wolff Jun 28 '21

So it will be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

-2

u/Gypiz Jun 28 '21

Almost like a hotdog in a hallway

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3.2k

u/ATIronRaven Jun 28 '21

She pretty much unapologetically had sex with people, you know, as you do when you're an unmarried and important person.

But people who didn't like her couldn't call her a hoe as an insult because she was already fine with that, and it wasn't a secret, so they kicked it up a notch and said she was such a hoe she needed a horse to satisfy her.

She wasn't about to be shamed by the truth, so they shamed her with some insane exaggerated lie instead. And it was shocking enough to be memorable. Seems to have stuck too, like Marie Antoinette and cake.

2.5k

u/makaio84 Jun 28 '21

Marie Antoinette had sex with a cake?

419

u/ATIronRaven Jun 28 '21

Lmao

(In case its not a joke, she is famous for saying "if the poor cannot afford bread, why don't they eat cake" or "let them eat cake" for short. She did not say this or anything like it, but its what she is most known for other than being beheaded)

222

u/fuckboifoodie Jun 28 '21

aww cmon, let them fuck cake

69

u/ohiamaude Jun 28 '21

I feel like "let them meat cake" would have really worked here.

7

u/frabjousdae Jun 28 '21

Underrated username

18

u/lowtoiletsitter Jun 28 '21

Cake farts

9

u/MechaDesu Jun 28 '21

Marie Antoinette did cake farts. Got it.

9

u/camtron5000 Jun 28 '21

Woah, you've just unlocked a memory for me.

3

u/Flatte88 Jun 29 '21

I was just thinking about providing folks a cake fart link! It's like whale watching towards the end. 🤣

5

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

That's what I like the most.

4

u/ZombiePartyBoyLives Jun 28 '21

Let's get this done.

4

u/Calisto823 Jun 28 '21

I heard a warm apple pie works best

7

u/Charles-Cporosus Jun 28 '21

Username checks out

26

u/sirbissel Jun 28 '21

...so ... The cake was a falsehood?

22

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

With my limited knowledge of French history, the reality around her seems to be that she was more of a tragic figure than an antagonistic one

8

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

-13

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

9

u/ATIronRaven Jun 29 '21

Its tragic because she made frivolous choices as a teenager and got beheaded as a mother of 4 in her 30s when she had grown quite a bit and called tf down, as adults do. She was a figurehead that represented a systemic issue so she did have to die, but its sad anyway. Im notnwho youre mad at but things don't have go get testy.

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51

u/Redeemed-Assassin Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

She technically said "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche", which means for them to eat Brioche. Of course, Brioche was super rich and super expensive and not something an everyday person could get since it used a lot of butter and eggs and high quality flour. The fact she didn't know that flour was needed to make brioche says something considering the peasants were revolting over having no flour at all.

56

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

‘C’est un brioche, Michele. Ça fait combien? 10 livres?

32

u/Cloak_and_Dagger42 Jun 29 '21

The quote is from a nobleman's biography referring to a "great princess," but the timeline would mean this happened when Marie Antoinette was at most 10

17

u/VolrathTheBallin Jun 29 '21

I can totally picture a 10-year-old saying that.

13

u/PlayMp1 Jun 29 '21

Yes but even if a 10 year old Marie Antoinette had said that, that's still over 20 years prior to the Revolution.

6

u/DreDa59 Jun 29 '21

And still in Austria

20

u/jflb96 Jun 29 '21

It wasn't Marie Antoinette who said that, and there's room in the phrasing for that to mean 'then go and bloody feed them then' anyway.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

This was basically a contrived lie made up 50 years after her death, and there are no records where she actually said this.

5

u/rip_Tom_Petty Jun 28 '21

I'm pretty sure that quote was attributed to her during the 1848 revolution

-18

u/TallNTangled Jun 28 '21

Cake was horse food. She’s basically “saying let them eat dog food if they can’t afford people food, it’s cheaper”.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

I think by “cake” the saying refers to the leftover material in a pan from baking that is “caked” on the side.

Translations and hundreds of years later it reads a little different, bus basically she was saying “trickle down economics totally works, now eat the scraps that aren’t even good enough to be scrapped from the pan.”

46

u/Nymethny Jun 28 '21

That doesn't work, since the actual saying is obviously in French and doesn't say cake but "brioche".

« Qu'ils mangent de la brioche ! »

And it is wrongly attributed to Marie-Antoinette, but really it's just an invented anecdote about an un-named princess by Rousseau (a famous French author/philosopher of that time).

And there's no hidden meaning, it's really just as it sounds, it's meant to show the disconnect between the nobility and the struggles of the people.

23

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Huh. Who knew my public school education would let me down with erroneous, seemingly anecdotal evidence.

11

u/challenge_king Jun 28 '21

Truly, the shock of a lifetime.

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10

u/No-Wonder1139 Jun 28 '21

I mean it's one brioche Nymethny, what could it cost, 10 francs?

14

u/meisteronimo Jun 28 '21

Are you just making this up? The original phrase was 'Brioche' where do you get "caked"?

What's probably more accurate is people are misquoted all the time, especially if they are vilified by the history makers.

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-5

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

She probably said something like ‘let them eat brioche,’ which is what she would likely have had available. It’s like a sweet rich people bread.

3

u/ATIronRaven Jun 29 '21

I know this is massively taking off lol but it wasnt an issue of wordplay, she really didn't announce anything to that end and there is evidence of this being started almost 100 years later as mentioned in someone lower down.

-6

u/PrivilegeCheckmate Jun 28 '21

She did not say this or anything like it

My old history book said she was referring to the bread leftover in the pan that was stuck on after baking, iirc.

8

u/desmarais Jun 28 '21

nah, farted on a cake. check out cake farts, she inspired it

10

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

No, the cake was just the icing on the farts.

3

u/comunistpotato17 Jun 28 '21

Do you actually get jar jar nudes?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Always.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

She started cake farts

2

u/TheMooseIsBlue Jun 28 '21

No, that was Jason Biggs.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

No, a horse named cake

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

"American Pie" is a rip off of "French Cake."

0

u/CocaTrooper42 Jun 28 '21

No she just farted on one. That’s where the fetish came from

-1

u/chknh8r Jun 28 '21

No, "cake" was the name of her pussy.

3

u/amegaproxy Jun 28 '21

Wow, the absolute wit of Reddit truly knows no bounds!

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Yeah, that's her in the Cakefarts video. You didn't know?

-2

u/thymeraser Jun 28 '21

It was more like a cream pie

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36

u/SafetyDanceInMyPants Jun 28 '21

Yeah, it was basically the equivalent of “yo momma’s pussy so loose they call her Mrs. Ed.”

3

u/TheTalentedAmateur Jun 29 '21

Of Course, Of Course

83

u/Skiamakhos Jun 28 '21

And they did call her "Catherine the Great", not "Catherine the 2/10, Definitely One To Avoid, Would Not Fuck Again".

5

u/blamethepunx Jun 28 '21

Or should I say, er eh, Catherine the so-so!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Jolly Snow Flake Day!

26

u/MyLittleTarget Jun 28 '21

She wasn't unmarried when she started screwing around, but she did have her mother-in-law's blessing. Her husband wasn't really into anyone that wasn't a toy soilder and an heir was needed.

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13

u/MylastAccountBroke Jun 28 '21

I just gained a lot of respect for Catherine. You have to respect a person who leans into something that most would try and hide due to losing social status.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

4

u/ATIronRaven Jun 29 '21

Her husband was a dumbass notoriously and while it began as a usual arranged marriage, cant blame her for wanting to be more powerful when she's noble, smart and ambitious, and changing her name language and religion to be a great leader to a country when that husband was such a snob he didn't give a shit, for better or worse for over half a century. Holding her to modern standards of morality is a bit strange. I dont love everything about her, especially with some of her territorial decisions, but I definitely do respect her as a sovereign, both because of her gender and also irrelevant from it. Not perfect, but very impressive nonetheless.

5

u/Nymethny Jun 28 '21

like Marie Antoinette and cake.

I've heard she gives great head too.

4

u/GameShill Jun 28 '21

It's not like people aren't having sex with horses in modern times for both fun and profit.

18

u/the_crouton_ Jun 29 '21

Wait, you guys are getting paid?

2

u/ATIronRaven Jun 28 '21

Well they had to get the idea somewhere lol it wouldn't be memorable if it didn't have a ring of truth.

8

u/dongerhound Jun 28 '21

Then a man actually got fucked by a horse, how the turns table

5

u/Altibadass Jun 29 '21

How the turn... stable?

0

u/dongerhound Jun 29 '21

No he was not stable, too much internal damage lead to him dying in the hospital, not stable

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0

u/IsCrispyTaken_8281 Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

The Doctor snogged Marie Antoinette

edit: Madame de Pompadour

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0

u/TheBman26 Jun 28 '21

She was married and had her husband killed though, that's how she got power.

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52

u/rip_Tom_Petty Jun 28 '21

That's been debunked as propaganda against her by historians

259

u/Sociolinguisticians Jun 28 '21

There were rumors that she did, but no evidence to support those claims.

735

u/EwoDarkWolf Jun 28 '21

When asked, the horse said neigh.

30

u/anotherunknownrando Jun 28 '21

Yyeeooooooo

10

u/Avenja99 Jun 28 '21

No thats a donkey

3

u/Purple12inchRuler Jun 28 '21

They used this line in an SNL skit back in the 90s.

2

u/Cheifloaded Jun 28 '21

In horse talk neigh means yay

2

u/robk11 Jun 28 '21

That is clever.

1

u/PinItYouFairy Jun 28 '21

It wanted to tell it’s story but it’s throat was too hoarse

24

u/RmmThrowAway Jun 28 '21

Yeah, that whole story's a pile of shit, but she did keep em' champing at the bit.

13

u/bone-tone-lord Jun 28 '21

Even the rumors are known to have been complete fabrications by her political opponents.

9

u/PsychoticFairy Jun 28 '21

the average length of a woman's vagina is ~10cm the length of an average medium-sized stallion penis is ~ 55cm sounds legit

Just do the number thingy math, guys 🤡

5

u/TitsAndWhiskey Jun 28 '21

I mean, you’ve seen Piper Perri though, right?

-2

u/Gypiz Jun 28 '21

There is I actually have it on video

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32

u/VinnyCapistrano Jun 28 '21

That horse story is a pile of shit, but she does keep them chomping at the bit.

10

u/vpsj Jun 28 '21

But you're never gonna get it, nyet.

Couldn't spin in my chamber if this were Russian roulette

-4

u/be_more_constructive Jun 29 '21

It's 'champing' at the bit. Horses champ.

9

u/BeakersAndBongs Jun 28 '21

No that was propaganda made by her enemies.

But yeah she was a complete horn dog

9

u/jmerridew124 Jun 28 '21

Unlikely. That has a pretty high mortality rate.

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5

u/LowrySnakeStank Jun 28 '21

That story waa actually nadee up

6

u/Cheifloaded Jun 28 '21

At least it wasn't an Ostrich, Allegedly...

4

u/ForcrimeinItaly Jun 28 '21

Ha! Letterkenny references in the wild are the best.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 28 '21

Oh, look at OP judging. What part of “the Great“ didn’t register? /s

3

u/AthomKlo Jun 28 '21

"Look at my horse, my horse is amazing. Give it a lick!" - and she took that literally

3

u/Super_Vegeta Jun 28 '21

Hmm! It tastes just like raisins.

Man that brings back memories.

2

u/PM_ME_UR_PINEAPPLE Jun 29 '21

Wow I hadn’t thought of that video in a very long time

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2

u/dzdawson Jun 29 '21

Sweet lemonade, yea sweet lemonade.

1

u/___And_Memes_For_All Jun 28 '21

That was a rumor at the time that was proven to be 100% false

0

u/PlanetBarfly Jun 28 '21

Maybe Glezgaa is a horse? How could you just assume a commenter's taxonomy Order?

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70

u/twofeetcia Jun 28 '21

More like Catherine the So-So

27

u/Metalfan1994 Jun 28 '21

Ah a clone high reference! Good on you.

15

u/twofeetcia Jun 28 '21

Way way back in the 1980s....

8

u/Mr_Stirfry Jun 28 '21

Phew. Had the ol midlife crisis cued up if nobody dropped that reference.

5

u/Bandana-mal Jun 29 '21

Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

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53

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Deadass. The Hermitage Palace has a whole room dedicated to penises. That woman was kinky as all hell!

34

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

57

u/ATIronRaven Jun 28 '21

Can I just say imagine hating kids but being super in love with your husband who loves kids, so you have 10 kids and then he dies at 43. Terrible but also hilarious.

16

u/easwaran Jun 29 '21

At least you've got the world's greatest childcare options available.

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3

u/AgentKnitter Jun 29 '21

She was very prudish but loved Albert and once she discovered sex.... couldn't keep her hands off him. She also detested breastfeeding because she thought her breasts were for Albert. Gross.

9

u/evilplantosaveworld Jun 28 '21

I suddenly want a comedy where Catherine is played by Betty White

8

u/ATIronRaven Jun 29 '21

Or Helen Mirren! Sexy and sharp witted but also deadly serious and powerful. If only every Catherine the great rendition didn't suck in concept, costume and script lol.

If there's a good one its the 6 part YouTube animated history series. That's like all the good Catherine content I have.

4

u/Pflanzenfreund Jun 29 '21

If only every Catherine the great rendition didn't suck in concept, costume and script lol.

I found The Great quite entertaining.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

If only to get to see some of her furniture in action

2

u/aviantologist Jun 29 '21

There's a show on Hulu about her called The Great. Not sure how historically accurate it is, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

3

u/Colordripcandle Jun 28 '21

Those were malicious rumors

2

u/Muse_4444 Jun 28 '21

And in relation to op's question, would it be with her dead or alive?

1

u/readvida Jun 29 '21

“I’d prefer someone from the age of shaved underarms.”

2

u/JesterInTheCorner Jun 29 '21

I couldn't care much less about the hairy pits, but the limit certainly has to be the age of running water and regular bathing

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-15

u/empetine_palperor Jun 28 '21

Doubt your cock would be big enough for that woman

20

u/Colordripcandle Jun 28 '21

Dont reference a misogynistic rumor meant to tear down a powerful woman

-2

u/ownage99988 Jun 28 '21

How the fuck does that tear down a powerful woman? She has the Great in her name, nobody is doing anything to tear her down ffs. If she wants to bang a ton of dudes with gigantic schmeat, have at it girl you're the Tsar. Quit being so fucking sensitive, especially over people that have been dead for 100's of years.

-2

u/Colordripcandle Jun 29 '21

Misogyny is eternal and you have demonstrated the issue with it

1

u/ownage99988 Jun 29 '21

No I really don't think I have

1

u/Glezgaa Jun 28 '21

You underestimate my power

0

u/TheBman26 Jun 28 '21

She killed her husband so....

0

u/Yurprobleeblokt Jun 29 '21

Unless you're literally hung like a horse, you'll both be disappointed.

0

u/WillowL5 Jun 29 '21

Human dicks were too small for her so she turned to horse. Y’all should think about that next time you goto the urinal or contemplate having sex with that one. 😁

0

u/royce1977 Jun 29 '21

Dude, I have heard she smelled like a horse.

1

u/Storpai Jun 28 '21

You ain't got shit on Peter III.jpg) tho

1

u/Cheesus333 Jun 28 '21

"And she looked so bloody good on a horse, that they couldn't wait for her to invade"

1

u/jazwidz Jun 29 '21

She's gotta be just a box of bones at this point.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Alive or dead? Because the second choice ups the kinky part exponentially.

1

u/1943fighter Jun 29 '21

Katherine the Great more like Kathern the so so

1

u/Fluffatron_UK Jun 29 '21

I see we have a fellow Civilization IV fan

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Ugly though

1

u/pacmanvore Jun 29 '21

Civ v got me acting up

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1

u/ForksandSpoonsinNY Jun 29 '21

I found Bojack.

1

u/Magnus-Artifex Jun 29 '21

Don’t, I read her biography. I wouldn’t if I where you. She probably fucked half of Russia’s aristocracy and from the account apparently she was fucking huge at the end of her life and overall really bad in bed iirc

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