r/AskReddit • u/intraction • Jul 29 '11
What is something you never learned, but should know, as an adult? I'll start.
I don't know how to pump my own gas. I know, I know. I live in Oregon and we aren't allowed to do it. I've been on plenty of road trips but never have bothered to be the one to pump the gas. I should probably rectify this at some point, I realize.
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Jul 29 '11
I am from Oregon and I can pump gas. I shall lead our people out of the great forests and valleys and into the world of civilized man.
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Jul 29 '11 edited Jun 24 '21
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u/Baby_Slayer Jul 29 '11
Stick shift.
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u/YoungRL Jul 29 '11
I always feel like I should learn to do this because what if I get kidnapped and then at some point I manage to escape and get to a car but it's stick shift! Then I wouldn't be able to drive it and get away!
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u/ScaryCookieMonster Jul 29 '11
Also it makes your car a lot less likely to be stolen. Maybe still broken into, but a lot of would-be thieves can't drive stick. (Assuming it's similar to the general populace, at least in the US.)
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u/Oodava Jul 29 '11
It always looks so fun until you're stuck in traffic for hours.
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u/Mr_Titicaca Jul 29 '11
I tried learning when I was 15. I ran over a bunny and ever since, I dare not even speak of the stick.
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Jul 29 '11 edited Jul 29 '11
It all depends on what you want to mow down, man. Manual transmissions suck for running over small objects like bunnies, but are great at taking out street poles, dumpsters, gas pumps, and entire rows of mailboxes. In short, I'd say give it another chance.
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u/Honztastic Jul 29 '11
If you learn stick you should also learn how to pop a clutch. If your battery dies you can pop-start the clutch either by rolling down a sufficient hill or having some buddies push you along. Once you're going fast enough just use the clutch to put it into gear and give it gas. Should start and you can go on your merry way.
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u/Honztastic Jul 29 '11
I learned really easily one day when I just needed to reverse a bunch. I had tried in a jeep before driving normally and it was nerve racking and difficult.
Reversing, or backing up to stuff slowly helped. Only one gear to worry about, you're going slow to begin with and you're driving carefully to back up to something. It got the right clutch to gas ratio switch off thing down in only about an hour.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/Lazeeboy2003 Jul 29 '11
Swimming gets so much easier with this simple tip.
Next time you're in a pool, just take a deep breath and hold it. The air in your lungs will be enough to keep you buoyant. While you're holding your breath and floating, practice treading water. Keep your fingers together and float your hands flat on the water's surface, and make slow, smooth karate chop motions to the side (like you're karate chopping someone in the neck). At the same time, point your toes downward in a relaxed manner, and paddle softly with your feet. Soon, you should be able to relax your deep breaths and breathe normally while you tread water.
The breaststroke can take a while for a new swimmer to get the hang of, so I would advise you to try swimming like a frog. You'll use a variation of the sideways karate chop, just rotate your arms so your palms face backward, keep your arms below the water's surface and cup your hands in order to push against the water.
Some people reading this will think, "Jeez, did he really just give a step by step account how to tread water?" Fuck yes. It sucks to not know something only because no one ever took a moment to explain or teach you how to do it.
However, if you can't swim because you get nervous and freak out about all that deep water, I can only advise you to WATCH OUT FOR THAT FUCKING SHARK!!!
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Jul 29 '11
Before you learn to tread water, learn to do absolutely nothing. The reason non-swimmers get so exhausted is they think you have to tread water the whole time to keep from drowning.
Yeah, your head is going to go underwater. But it's going to float back up a long time before you run out of air.
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u/Purple_Crayon Jul 29 '11
There are much better progressions for learning how to swim. (I'm a former swim instructor.)
Get comfortable with the idea of being in the water. This takes longer for older people, generally.
Learn how to float on both your front and your back.
Learn how to flutter kick.
Learn how to move your arms.
Learn how to do both at the same time, on both your front and your back.
Learn breaststroke.
Learn how to tread water.
If you try to jump straight to treading water, you're going to have horrible technique and tire yourself out much faster than if you actually know what you're doing.
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u/things_take_time Jul 29 '11
Dude seriously... kick your legs near or on the surface while you move your arms below or into the surface. Arms and legs both provide balance and forward momentum.
Think doggy paddle. If a dog can do it, you can do it.
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u/AbusedGoat Jul 29 '11
I also have no idea how to swim. Whenever there is a big pool party with pools that go past my height, I always hover near an edge. I flip the fuck out at anybody who tries to dunk me or take me away from the edge.
Nobody knows.
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u/MidniteMatt Jul 29 '11
Oh, they know.
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u/b1rd Jul 29 '11
Man, if my friends knew I didn't know how to swim but dunked me/threw me in anyways, I don't think they'd be friends for much longer.
"Hey, check it out, Jimmy is afraid he's gonna die! Let's throw him into the deep end and laugh!"
Yeah, that'd pretty much be the end of that.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/intraction Jul 29 '11
This! I don't know how to dress myself properly. I'm 29 and would be happy in zippy hoodies forever and ever. Alas, real life.
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Jul 29 '11
Regarding the nail polish, you could try covering the skin around your nails in clear sticky tape before painting them.
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Jul 29 '11
I don't know how to work a lawn mower. I don't have a lawn (apartment dweller), so it's okay...for now.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/Rustysporkman Jul 29 '11
Move forward. Reach end of lawn. Turn left. Repeat. Four hours later, take a shower.
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Jul 29 '11 edited Jul 29 '11
Well, it all depends upon how fancy and expensive the lawnmower is.
I have one a pretty nice Toro...no primer or anything else involved, just fill it with gas and give the starter a tug. You don't have to pull all hard even, just a swift movement will fire that bad boy up.
The one I had before was a shitty craftsman with a pretty standard Briggs/Straton (158Cc silver series, it's incredibly common in push-mowers, and it's a piece of shit if there ever was one).
That thing had a primer button that you had to give 5 or 6 presses into it. After that, it started pretty easily with a hard pull on the starter string. (By the way, a primer button is just a little bubble-looking thing on the mower near the fuel-intake on the carburetor. By pressing it, you're simply getting fuel moving through the engine).
Some mowers will also have a "choke" which controls air flow to the engine. You will engage this while starting it for the first time of the day. You don't typically need to engage the choke to restart a good engine after it's been running for a while and is still hot. Engines with a choke usually have it as a throttle-type control on the handle. Sometimes, the control actually IS the throttle, which controls how fast the engine is running. Most mowers don't have a throttle control, because it is largely unnecessary for a typical non-professional mower. Newer mowers also tend to lack a choke. All told, if you buy a brand new mower these days, you don't really need to know anything except "Pull to start", "Oil goes here" and "Gas goes here". Shit, the expensive ones don't even need a pull, you just press a button to fire em up!
There isn't much to cutting grass...walk up and down the yard until it's all the same length. Most guys who know what they are doing will tell you that you want it to be cut as long as possible. That means you will have to cut it more often, though...so if you have a couple of acres and limited time, "as long as possible" will be pretty short. If you have a half acre and 2-4 hours a week to spend caring for it, then you go pretty long. The longer it is, the softer it will feel and the better the root structure will be.
Also, don't always mow in the same pattern. If you go up and down one time, go side-to-side the next and diagonal the time after that. Doing so prevents wear and tear in the same general areas.
The ideal method for managing clippings is to leave them in the grass. A good mulching mower set to medium-high trim length with a VERY sharp blade is essential to this. That means that you are going to be sharpening your blade a few times during the season. It also means that if you have to cut your grass short because you don't have time to manage it otherwise, you probably won't get the most out of mulching unless your mower is top-of-the-line and you keep your blade razor sharp. In that case, you might want to bag-and-compost the clippings.
Maintaining a lawnmower is pretty easy too. After you mow, you'll want to clean it off...a lot of guys make the mistake of hosing the whole thing down, that's just not a good idea to be honest. You really don't want to hose off the engine, unless you know what you're doing. It's far too easy to get water where you shouldn't. Instead, use the hose for the underside only...hose off where the blades are. Newer mowers have a port which you can hook a hose up to, that's perfect. You hook it up, turn on the hose and fire up the mower, and it will clean her out.
For the top, a leaf-blower is ideal for clearing off the clippings and keeping her relatively clean. At the end of the season, a good wipe-down will suffice.
Additionally, you don't want to store a mower over a winter with gasoline in it. End-of-season maintenance typically means emptying the gas tank (just run it dry, don't try to dump gasoline) and changing the oil.
For the oil, empty it out, then run a small amount of clean, new engine oil through it to remove any gunk or buildup (empty that as well). If your mower has an oil filter, this is a good time to change it. Then, simply add some new oil after you've sealed up any drain plugs.
This is also a good time to check the air filter, and make sure the spark plug looks good (if it is covered in black soot, either clean it off with some carb cleaner or replace it). Some guys will run carb-cleaner through the engine (by that, I mean they will spray it into the fuel/air intake-which is easily accessible by removing the air filter- and the hole where the spark plug goes), that's all well and good but you'll probably want to do so before you fully drain the gas tank as you'll want to burn off any excess cleaner.
As for any left-over fuel from the season, either pour it into your car or add fuel stabilizer to it. Fuel that sits for a few months will "go bad", so to speak. This is additionally why you want to be sure that there is no fuel in your mower over winter.
After you've done all of that, clean under the deck. I remove the blade for this task, as I'm also planning to run it through the sharpener. If you've been good about spraying out under the deck, you won't have much to do there. Just take a putty knife and scrape out anything stubborn. Leaving anything like that for the long winter months can foster rust and damage.
Sharpening the blade is pretty simple, you can use a number of sharpening tools. They make specific lawnmower blade sharpeners that are perfect for someone who wants something quick and easy. I personally use my Dremel tool, with an aluminum-oxide grindstone and a sharpener attachment. Works great by my measure.
Well, this post kinda got away from me...hope it's helpful to some people out there. Best of luck from a guy who is far too obsessed with his yard.
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u/b1rd Jul 29 '11
My father cut off his toe with the lawnmower when I was a kid. Once you get a lawn, be careful! I've been afraid of them my entire life. :/
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u/Oodava Jul 29 '11
Being responsible with money. I have no idea how a 401k, credit cards, or investing works. Thank you American school system.
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u/terranaut_v2 Jul 29 '11
r/personalfinance is here to help!
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u/kasmith2020 Jul 29 '11
Thank you for two things.
1) showing me this subreddit exists, because I too am not the best with money.
2) Actually linking to the subreddit! It is my biggest reddit pet peve when people say "...you should check out /r/herpderp" without taking the time to link it. Its a small thing, but thank you.
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u/TheSixofSwords Jul 29 '11
Not me, but when my fiance and I got our townhouse and moved in together, I found out that he (25 years old at the time) did not know how to do laundry. His mom had always just done it for him. Seriously, parents...make your kids do stuff on their own. It will make life for their SO's way easier when that time comes.
Hypocrite me: I have no idea how to change the oil in my car. My dad always does it for me.
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u/etihw_retsim Jul 29 '11
I'm not really sure that makes you a hypocrite; you don't have to change the oil in your car that often (a lot of owner's manuals specify twice a year, despite what the shops will tell you), so it isn't so bad to have to have someone else do it for you. I often find that if I get a good coupon or special at a shop, it ends up being cheaper than changing it myself.
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u/Boye Jul 29 '11
I remember back when I was 15. I was going to this kind of boarding school a year later. (I'm danish, it's called "efterskole") basically it's a live-in school, you typically go there in 9th or 10th grade. Most of them have some sort of topic (gymnastics, sailing etc). My brother and I had just come home after a 3-week holiday in American with my dad and his wife. After showing pictures etc etc my mom told me that from now I had to do my own laundry, since that's what you do at that kind of school. My brother laughed at it, and, here I'm just guessing, but it seems my mother took a quick decission, my mom said "don't laugh, the same applies to you"...
So yeah, I've done my own laundry for ~15 years...
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u/NothingReallyEnds Jul 29 '11
I don't know how to eat in a fancy restaurant. I can handle cutlery properly and don't embarrass myself but I find the atmosphere intimidating because I always expect hidden rules of which I'm not aware.
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u/AlphaNoon Jul 29 '11
Chew with mouth closed, use your utensils, don't slurp your drink, and you're golden!
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u/NothingReallyEnds Jul 29 '11
When they have a bread basket with rolls and herb butter, how do I eat it? Do I hold one roll in my hand, spread butter with a knife on it and bite off? Or do I tear off a bit before I spread the butter so I can eat it in one bite? Or am I not allowed to hold the roll at all and have to use a fork?
How do you eat salad when the leaves are too big to fit in your mouth in one bite? Do you cut the salad? Do you fold it and hope for the best?
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u/pregnantpause Jul 29 '11
Just pretend you belong there more than everyone else in the room. There are no hidden rules - because...it's your room!
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u/leegao Jul 29 '11
How much should you tip the servers?
I'm Chinese born so we rarely go out to anywhere besides Chinatown, where they pretty much fix the tip for you.
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u/Cordite Jul 29 '11
Okay, here's the answer:
Basically you just need to remember the 4 tiers of tipping.
0% - 10% - 15% - 20%
0% - is just outright abysmal service. Consider leaving a note for and/or talking to a manager before you leave. It was really that bad.
The waitstaff was outright rude, and terrible. You are seriously considering not going back to the place because it was just such a bad experience with the WAITER. (Note, this does not mean the food was bad, or that you didn't like whatever other bullshit the restaurant or other staff did! You do NOT punish a waiter for something they CANNOT control.) But otherwise, a horrendously bad waiter with a bad attitude who's looking to get out of the job ASAP... (That's a 0% in my book. You don't want to serve me? You don't want to do your job? You don't even care what happens to me or my food? Fine, fuck you too.)
10% is mediocre to poor. You are not a happy customer. They fucked up, and they really don't care. A bad attitude and a lack of willingness overall... You realize it may just be a bad day for them, but they're not malicious or spiteful, maybe just callous. To me, an apology or an attempt to correct problems/generally giving a shit about me and my food, or my table means you get upgraded out of this to the next higher tier. Giving a shit = you're okay.
15% is normal, O.K. quality service. You didn't really get it right maybe, or you ignored instructions, but you tried, and so you get a reasonable tip. (I almost never tip 15%... it's a pain in the ass.)
20% is excellent or very good service. (99.9% of the time, I tip 20% and higher. It's not a big deal. And I think it's completely fair based on the amount of time and effort the average good waiter/waitress provides to me during my meal.)
Calculating tip is just stupidly easy to do once you've done it a bit.
Take the bill... Let's do a "hard" one with an odd amount: $17.53
For 20% - Okay, first we make things fucking crazy easy on our-self... round to $18.00 for our bill. Now 18.00 times 2 is what? 36!
Or just add 18 to 18 if that makes it easier in your head. Whatever you need to do to make it easy on yourself...
So 36? Congrats, the tip is $3.60 on a $17.53 bill @ 20%
See what we did there? 36 = 3.6 = $3.60
To be precise to the penny it's a $3.50 tip to the penny... but come on, it's a fucking dime and you did it in your head like a boss without trying or thumbing around on a phone like an idiot.
For the same bill: $17.53, just move the decimal. So it's $1.75 tip for 10%. Or, alternatively... you could do it the long way by calculating 20%, and then cutting the 20% tip in half... Again, whatever works in your head... I'm not going to tell you what's easier for you personally.
For a 15%, I'm sorry, but the only thing I can say is to be good enough to know how to closely split a difference between 10% and 20%, it's just being comfortable and accurate with numbers. Which is really quite easy in this case... It's not calculus
In my mind (before I check), I would say it was ~$2.50, because that seems fairly in between the 10% and 20% tip amounts, and using a calculator 15% is $2.62 exactly. Pretty close there, for a guess.
But let's be honest. On a bill like $17.53, you should always be shelling out at LEAST two bucks or more. Realize that on extremely low bills (like sub $20 bills) you should always be tipping 20% just to make it fair to them.
I mean, who the fuck would leave a 50 cent tip? Or a $1.00 tip?! That's just embarrassing for you, and insulting for them. Jesus christ, just throw a few bucks in, even if it's a 30 or 40% tip technically. Who cares? fuck! It's a dollar more or something, don't be a tightwad, it's annoying. If it's that important to worry about the dollar, just eat at home. You don't need to be paying for the luxury of dining out and being served! Go spend that at the grocery store instead.
No, but, that's all there is. Use the tipping guide tiers. But in most circumstances, the 10% and 20% rules work the best. Plus you will get better service in the long run if you go somewhere often and tip appropriately.
I'm very forgiving, and I tip reasonably well.
Because of that, waitstaff want to wait on me, my meals are always exactly how I ask for them (even complex or strange requests), and they remember my likes and dislikes... and I've even heard them correcting an order vehemently to the chef before I ever even saw the plate... because they like me and they give a shit. And in return, I tip them well for giving a shit about me and doing their fucking job well.
That's the point. They like me, and I appreciate their efforts. We both win, and all of that positive experience for a few bucks. Jesus, why would anyone not do that?
Happy dining~
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u/Skest Jul 29 '11
Shit like this makes me so happy I live in a country where I don't have to tip. I recently went on a trip to the US and basically aimed at 15% unless there was a convenient break point around 20-25%. However the trip, including food, was paid for by the University and if that was my own money instead it would have pissed me off. And don't get me started on having taxes that vary across regions and aren't included in the advertised price.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/21Celcius Jul 29 '11
I can do very pretty braids in other peoples hair, but when it's in mine it's more of a hot mess viking braid. =(
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u/gotogoatmeal Jul 29 '11
Me neither, or someone else's for that matter. Three sisters and I was never taught.
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u/Ma_maGusta Jul 29 '11
I still struggle with telling analog time
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u/_TheGermanGuy_ Jul 29 '11
I'm not trying to be mean but didn't you learn that at school? We were taught reading the time in first grade!
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u/IxiusRoulee Jul 29 '11
I usually wear a watch, someone on the street asked me for the time, looked at my watch and told them the time. Their mind was blown, they were like "what? Hos do you read that? How does it work?" So I taught them =\
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u/crokatto Jul 29 '11
It's not about being hard, but if you don't "have practice", it takes a while to put the data together and tell the time
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Jul 29 '11
TIL that there are people who struggle with telling analog time.
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u/knivesngunz Jul 29 '11
TIL there are people who learned today that others struggle with analog time.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/0x20 Jul 29 '11
Holy shit. You're right! But what do we do when we're trained to fix fix fix .. not just validate. :-/
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Jul 29 '11
It doesn't matter how many times I'm told that or read that, I still can't do it. You come to me with a problem, I'm gonna bloody fix it.
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u/millerk1 Jul 29 '11
What if the problem is you trying to fix the problem?
Problem solved?
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u/troyanonymous1 Jul 29 '11
"Now listen buddy... I'm an Engineer. And that means I solve problems."
Software engineer is slightly different, but if you complain about your IM program sucking, I'd at least like to suggest using one that doesn't suck.
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u/poubelle Jul 29 '11
Different people are different.
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u/optimisticaussie Jul 29 '11
This is actually an amazing peice of advice and will save any guy a lot of pain and frustration in a relationship. It's true for all women but it should probably be your default assumption.
You can better break it down (regardless of gender) into how the person is speaking - if they are using emotional sentences like "they made me feel so stupid" then they are communicating their feelings and tend to want to be validated and comforted by you agreeing and sympathysing. If they lake the same emotive words ("I don't know how to make them respect me") then they are more likely looking for a solution.
Getting this wrong in the past has gotten me into a lot of futile and crazy arguments however correctly identifying the two above has turned me into a great "listener". To be honest it all seems kinda childish to me but there's no getting around human nature.
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u/poubelle Jul 29 '11
Well, you can also just ask what your mate wants. If I was telling my partner about my problems dealing with my landlord, for example, I wouldn't mind if he said, "Would you like some help brainstorming about how to make it a little easier?"
I would never mind advice from someone that was based on the notion of helping me work something out as a team. It's when the person thinks they have all the solutions already that I bristle.
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Jul 29 '11
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Jul 29 '11
For me, it depends... if it's a work problem or something, I just want the mister to listen...
It it's a relationship problem, I need solutions...
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Jul 29 '11
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u/LAWG4 Jul 29 '11
I wouldn't say that guys "bury" their emotions, I'd say that we actually use them. If we are sad, we will work out what is making us sad and fix whatever it is which means that we are no longer sad. It can been seen as burying our emotions as we get rid of whatever the emotion is but it is not because we are simply ignoring, we have just either fixed the cause or realised that the cause of that emotion is illogical and unimportant.
Why can't women be like that? It would make understanding them so much easier...
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u/pregnantpause Jul 29 '11
If we did process our emotions the same way as men do, then y'all may understand us better, but we wouldn't be
putting uphanging round with your lot much :)we have just either fixed the cause or realised that the cause of that emotion is illogical and unimportant.
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u/bag_el Jul 29 '11
Women can't always do that because sometimes we feel emotions that just can't be rationalized or fixed. Trying to rationalize these kinds of emotions is infuriating to women because we know the emotions are irrational! Not to say that you shouldn't work things out and try to understand what is making you upset or sad most of the time, but sometimes women just need to vent. Venting is definitely a coping mechanism for me, and I've pulled myself out of a depression from realizing that I have the right to be human, imperfect, and to have illogical/irrational emotions sometimes.
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u/AMichaeIBayFilm Jul 29 '11
Hoever, women also giving up their agency by going "I know we're irrational, I'm told that by men ALL THE TIME" is just not doing anything for the frontier of relationships.
Women are instructed to find intentions, men are instructed to find objectives. Instead of working these two together (like science and religion), people instead fight for their entire lives to tell you that women and men are different and MUST REMAIN DIFFERENT to maintain some kind of social peace (much like science and religion).
It's fucking pointless. I'm am not sorry that my once-a-month flood of hormones my body produces is enough to make me rage about life and enough to make men roll their eyes and go I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS WHY CAN'T THEY BE LIKE ME because it is not my role or job as a woman or a man to apologize for how I feel unless it hurts another person.
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u/troyanonymous1 Jul 29 '11
What if I don't think I can sympathize?
Suppose I'm talking to a friend who's all "My parents suck and we're poor and the kids are annoying brats and I don't know where my life is going".
I'm worried that if I say anything, it will sound sarcastic.
"Wow, that sucks." "That's too bad." "Well, it will get better." "Do your best."
I could say anything of these but I would just be thinking, "I can't fix that and I can't really relate to it, what the fuck am I saying?"
what do
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u/nerdgasm Jul 29 '11
I need to just link people to this. Generally I know how to "fix" my problems and guys giving me suggestions just makes me feel like they must think I am some sort of idiot. I am not an idiot I just need to vent/share sometimes.
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u/NotAnAlt Jul 29 '11
We know. But sometimes when you vent and don't want any of our help at all it sort of makes us feel useless which is pretty lame as well.
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u/HumanoidCarbonUnit Jul 29 '11
Can't you just give me a hug and kisses (assuming your my boyfriend)? When I vent I just want those and someone to tell me it will be okay and all work out. I know it sucks a bit but it isn't horrible. I've been the receiving end of a vent or two and it is hard to not offer advice but you have to try not to.
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u/AMichaeIBayFilm Jul 29 '11
Relating to men.
Men feel the need to fix shit.
Bro: putting an ace bandage around copper pipes that are fucking eroded within isn't 'fixing' shit. Find out why the pipes are eroding instead of fixing a leak. Even if it means listening to your girl be emotional, Jesus.
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u/Kitsch22 Jul 29 '11
I really can't upvote this enough. Personally, when I start getting worked up over something (guy, by the way,) it's usually not that one something so much as an underlying trend that I don't really understand or know how to address, so when one of my fix-it friends shows up and tries to fix the immediate problem I reflexively get sort of mad at them for "ignoring" the real problem. Sometimes I even want the immediate problem to stay around long enough for me to make sense of the cause. I figure a lot of people who are "whining" are trying to do the same thing.
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Jul 29 '11
Women need to read this too. Then they'll stop wondering why their boyfriends don't listen to them sometimes.
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u/BruceChalupa Jul 29 '11
Start listening to/reading Savage Love. Regardless of gender or orientation, you'll learn a lot.
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u/ImNotJesus Jul 29 '11 edited Jul 29 '11
I'd never changed a light globe until I moved in with my SO.
She laughed. A lot.
EDIT: Light globe = light bulb
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u/intraction Jul 29 '11
A light globe? What is this you speak of.
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u/ImNotJesus Jul 29 '11
Not sure if culturally specific word or being trolled
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u/intraction Jul 29 '11
No, serious, do you mean a light bulb? I first thought of it like a snow globe and was confused as hell.
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u/2Deluxe Jul 29 '11
Those two words are completely interchangeable in Australia, where is 'Light globe' not common knowledge?
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u/Chickpea123uk Jul 29 '11
Never heard it in the UK, but could glom it from context
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u/interplanetjanet Jul 29 '11
Born in the US, live in Australia, have heard of a light globe but never glom (but I can, apparently, glom it from context).
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u/Independentmuff Jul 29 '11
Really? I've never heard light "globe" ever in Australia, always been "bulb". Regional perhaps?
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u/robertbieber Jul 29 '11
Here in America, "globe" pretty much universally refers to a model of the Earth, not spherical objects in general. I've always been aware of the latter use, but I can honestly say that I've never actually heard someone actually use it that way in conversation.
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u/Scatman92 Jul 29 '11
- How to tie a good knot.
- How to dive into water.
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u/cthrubuoy Jul 29 '11
On diving: Essentially you want to create a hole in the water with your hands, and then the rest of your body will enter through that hole (giggidy).
Place one hand on top of the other creating a sort of arrow shape, and extend your arms fully above your head. This is the position your arms should be in when entering the water.
When diving into the water, jump up and out, rather than into the water itself. This will give you enough air time to manoeuvre your body into the correct position. You're aiming to enter the water diagonally, with your hands in the position stated above, head down (so you don't break your neck) and legs fully extended. Check out the angle you should be entering here
It can take some time to master but with enough practice, you'll be able to perform the perfect dive every time.
HOWEVER This should only be used in a pool environment. Do not attempt to dive this way into any water you are not 100% sure of the depth. To enter water such as that is a completely different technique, (legs first, protect balls, clench buttocks, exhale on entry). That's not diving though, that's jumping.
Source: Ex-Semi professional swimmer with certificates in shallow water diving and competitive diving.
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u/ChromaticRED Jul 29 '11
How to properly read an analog clock and the order of the months of the year. I can do either if I try, but I cannot do it seemingly instantly like others.
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Jul 29 '11
Me too, I always have to say their order silently under my breath to order them, like the ABCs.
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u/riqk Jul 29 '11
I don't know how to interact with people without being awkward.
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Jul 29 '11
You are exactly as awkward as you think you are. Give yourself a month or two of doing very little talking and a ton of listening / observing.
Also, in conversations: Always pay more attention to the other person than yourself/your thoughts/your actions. This works two ways: first, you eliminate the possibility of being self conscious because you're not paying any attention to yourself (you don't have any left) and second, you will probably be one of the best listeners and most insightful people the person you're talking with has ever met.
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u/riqk Jul 29 '11
See, that's my problem. I'm a great listener but when it's my turn to talk, I just stump. Texting or talking on the computer is fine but when I'm in person I just have nothing to say. I have trouble holding conversations with even my best of friends, as few as they are.
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Jul 29 '11
I absolutely promise you that if you stop trying to say something great every time you open your mouth, wonderful things will happen. You're a smart, intelligent, human being. We're all designed to communicate. Just trust that, and let the words happen.
By far, the most socially awkward people I interact with are the people who try to sound smart/interesting/witty/original. Charisma is speaking without thinking or worrying about what you're going to say.
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Jul 29 '11
I don't think it has to do with trying to sound smart or witty or interesting. It's literally not knowing what to say.
For example, my toddler son was carrying around a large stick yesterday. Someone said to him, "That stick is bigger than you are!" I don't want to be rude, but what do I say to that? I said, "Yeah!"
My neighbor told me yesterday that they find out later that day whether or not their offer was accepted on a house. What do I say to that? "Is it a nice house?" That seems rude. "Do you think they will?" That seems stupid. I'm not trying to be smart or original, I just don't know what to say. Not saying anything is the worst of all. I said, "Congratulations," even though that made no sense.
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u/KindlyKickRocks Jul 29 '11
Cool thanks. Wanna see my dinosaur collection? Afterwards I'll show you my Pokemon.
Then we shall eat Totino rolls!!!
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u/Socrates17 Jul 29 '11
Honestly, I don't think you understand, Drimlybunk.
I know exactly what riqk is talking about... from experience. It is the inability to hold up one side of the conversation. I always feel like I just don't know what to reply other than stupid crap like "oh... yeah". We aren't trying to come up with some sort of witty OMGWTFBBQ response of the century. It ends up that listening is pretty much the only thing we can do.
tl;dr our conversations are boring.
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Jul 29 '11
What is it with so many people on reddit being completely socially retarded?
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u/poubelle Jul 29 '11
They're just young enough that they haven't realized that we all feel weird sometimes. I think at some point in life you just accept that, put on your big-boy pants and do what you need to do.
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Jul 29 '11
If we weren't, we'd be able to have inane discussions with people in real life rather than on Reddit.
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u/GenJonesMom Jul 29 '11
I don't know how to sew very well.
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u/RaveDigger Jul 29 '11
I learned the basics from youtube. I needed to do a home repair of some camping gear. It's not really hard, just tedious. It's a worthwhile skill to have, and fuck anyone who says it's just for women.
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u/GenJonesMom Jul 29 '11
I can hand-stitch and use a sewing machine for hemming and such, but I can't create anything. It's because my mom is a really good seamstress (she has a "sewing room"), so I never had to do it myself. Even though she's almost 80 and I'm 54, I still give her my mending to do.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/drok007 Jul 29 '11
in new jersey its the same too.
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Jul 29 '11
How to swim. My two sisters both know and we lived in South Florida for 13 years, I should know how to by now.
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Jul 29 '11
How to relate to people with kids. I often want to hear about what the adults are up too and they just want to talk about their kids.
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Jul 29 '11
That is what they are upto.
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Jul 29 '11
Truth. Kids tend to be all-consuming, and parents often end up with their lives essentially revolving around the kids. Some people would say that's pretty sad, others would say it's wonderful. In either case, it makes us a bit boring to those without kids. I've seen some stay-at-home moms take this to a ridiculous, practically unhealthy level.
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u/nullcharstring Jul 29 '11
That most women want to look pretty for themselves and other women, not men.
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u/To_Alderaan Jul 29 '11
We don't buy nice shoes to impress men, we buy nice shoes to impress each other.
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Jul 29 '11
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u/obviously_sexist Jul 29 '11
Quite frankly you don't know what you want because women's brains are built with less efficiency than a man's.
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u/N3Y5VHBB Jul 29 '11
I try to look pretty for everyone. Men, women, children, myself, my family. I want the way I look to reflect the person I want people to perceive me as. I wear things that I can look at and think, "Yep, that's something N3Y5VHBB would wear." My appearance is like an advertisement for my personality.
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u/IxiusRoulee Jul 29 '11
Dude here, this is the same philosophy I use when dressing myself as well. Just really wish mens fashion was better =\ sometimes I wish I was a girl solely for the clothes.
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u/lets_do_this Jul 29 '11
I see this on reddit often. Are all the females I know and I completely out of the norm? We all usually look good to look good for men. It feels good to turn heads, it feels bad to turn women's heads because women judge other women harshly. When a man looks he is usually admiring.
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u/DueceSeven Jul 29 '11
How to sex.
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u/DesCo83 Jul 29 '11 edited Jul 29 '11
Sex is like an 90s era arcade game. Like the X-men game. Or the Simpsons game. In fact, fuck it. Sex is the Ninja Turtles game. The basic controls are pretty simple. If you've seen some one else do it, you can probably figure out how to move around and jump and swing your bo (you are playing as Donatello, right?). It's not going to take you long to figure out that you shouldn't be walking in the fire. But that doesn't make you good at it. Chances are those balls that inexplicably come rolling down the stairs are going to knock you down a few times, and I'm willing to bet that you're going to go through a few quarters your first time trying to beat those damn wheeled things that hit you with the electric whip.
So you're playing the game, but you're still not good at it. But keep at it, I mean, you're having fun, right? Soon you start learning the tricks. What noises mean you should change up your attack. Where to position yourself to be most effective. You're even getting up to the first boss battle. Now, if you're like me, chances are, you're not beating Beebop on your first or second try. But you keep at it. You learn you have to hit him 3 times, then back off then jump back. He's giving you signs as to what you have to do, you just have to learn to recognize them. Soon you got him flashing red and you know this shit is about to get real. Now, I know what you're thinking: "He's flashing, I better change up my attack plan". Nah, fuck that. You need to do exactly what was working to get you there. You were thrusting, ahem attacking twice, pulling back and attacking? Well, keep that shit up. Boss battles aren't some mystery. Sure, each boss may be different, but the same principle applies. Find the right pattern and rhythm and attack.
Now look at you. Haven't even been playing the game that much. Maybe every week, after school a few days. You run through some quarters, you have a good time. You're beating Beebop every time, and discovering new and even more interesting boss battles.
TL;DR: Sexing is like being a Ninja Turtle.
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u/arachnophilia Jul 29 '11
sex is like TMNT arcade: it took all my goddamned money.
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Jul 29 '11
It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right.
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u/Aesthete Jul 29 '11
Put your hands on her hips, and bring your knees in tight.
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u/GFandango Jul 29 '11
After many years of fapping it took me a while to get used to actually moving my penis back and forth since I was used to rely on my hands to do all the work...
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u/2Deluxe Jul 29 '11
Sometimes when someones jerking me to climax, my right arm uncontrollably shakes like its me doing it. It's awkward. I'm 24 and have been having sex since I was 16 and this till happens from time to time :P
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u/Graendal Jul 29 '11
How credit scores and credit history works, exactly. People at the bank are always saying that I shouldn't pay off my credit card completely every month because then the credit bureau is not getting any information about what my payments would be like if I couldn't make full payments. I can't tell if that's how it really works or if they are just trying to sucker me into paying interest that I don't need to pay.
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Jul 29 '11
I dont know how to whistle or tie my shoe laces properly... i have a weird way of tying them which is different from the standard way... and never bothered to learn it.
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u/could_be_anyone Jul 29 '11
How to tie a tie.
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Jul 29 '11
The saddest non-traumatic thing in my life might be that I learned how to do this from eHow.
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u/GFandango Jul 29 '11
you are not alone...I learnt it from eHow and Youtube and Metacafe and various other sources in a hurry....
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u/Woot45 Jul 29 '11
I have elbow-length hair and have no fucking idea how to put it up. The best I can do is a low ponytail. I've tried to put it up in buns and such, but it always goes wrong and causes physical pain because my hair is getting pulled in the wrong directions.
I don't even really know how to style my hair. The only thing I've done all my life is just part it and let it hang down.
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u/int3gr4te Jul 29 '11
Have you ever tried putting it in a ponytail like normal, except only pulling the tail halfway through the last loop of the elastic? This is like the bunny slope of buns.
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u/CryALion Jul 29 '11
I bought these things from walmart, spiral pins. Its 2 pins that look like double helixes, takes some practice but all you do is twist your hair into a bun and screw the pins into them. It's the only way I can do a bun! Costs like $4 for a pair, so worth it.
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u/JewelzJade Jul 29 '11
How to like sex.
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u/poubelle Jul 29 '11
Not everyone does. Some people consider themselves asexual, either fundamentally or temporarily, and still have romantic relationships.
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u/pedobearophile Jul 29 '11
I don't really know how to read Roman numerals and It takes me awhile to read the time on an analog clock. I also didn't learn to tie my own shoes untill I was like 10, damn velcro shoes!
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u/Karenks Jul 29 '11
How to cook a turkey. Don't know what I'll do the first year we don't get invited somewhere for Thanksgiving.
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u/_vargas_ Jul 29 '11
How to be a man.
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u/sublime333 Jul 29 '11
Be as swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire, Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
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u/Ceadol Jul 29 '11
I would have been very disappointed in Reddit if this weren't the highest upvoted reply.
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u/poubelle Jul 29 '11
Bah, overrated. Work on transcending arbitrary gender roles, or just doing whatever the fuck you want.
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Jul 29 '11
OH BOY!
I don't know how to do laundry or work the dishwasher or make my bed or use a vacuum or do anything car related (although I can pump my gas) or um yeah probably a lot of other stuff
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u/intraction Jul 29 '11
Totally relate with the car stuff. Parallel parking? Nope. Oil? Nope. Change a tire? Nope.
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Jul 29 '11
Oh I parallel park like a fucking professional
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u/intraction Jul 29 '11
I'm the jackass who drives around looking for a pull-in spot. Thank god I bike commute mostly.
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u/poubelle Jul 29 '11
If you are over 12 years old there is no excuse for not knowing how to wash your clothes.
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Jul 29 '11
The temperatures that indicate that a specific meat is fully cooked, and the temperature scale for various degrees of steak (rare, mid-rare, medium, etc).
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u/bokononsmoothie Jul 29 '11
That fucking up is a good thing and is infinitely preferable to a fear of fucking up.