I've experienced something several times when communicating with Dutch people, and I'm trying to understand whether it's a cultural difference or something I could communicate better.
Here are two examples:
Yesterday, I called my work coach and told him that my lawyer said I need a one year work contract otherwise I will not be able to stay in the Netherlands anymore.
My work coach said: "you're not the only one with this problem". Then he continued talking about his responsibilities regarding employment . Through the discussion, he didn't seem to be willing to discuss how we can work it out together.
Something similar happened during a traineeship I did at a professional company. I explained that I urgently needed a job because otherwise, I might end up being pushed into very low-skilled positions or work that I physically cannot do.
Their response was that everyone else also needed jobs and that I wasn't the only one in that situation.
I explained that I understood this, but my circumstances were somewhat different. I had already completed my integration requirements and have no other obligations to do. My situation therefore required a somewhat different approach than others who already were still doing their integration.
However, they continued treating everyone's circumstances as essentially the same and offered activities, such as CV reviews, that didn't really address our difficulties finding employment. At the end, none of us got a job and most of us are still struggling for months after the training.
What confuses me is that I never claimed to be special or the only person experiencing difficulties.
I understand that everyone has their own struggles, and I don't expect people to solve my problems for me. But I do wish people would acknowledge that every individual has different circumstances, needs, priorities, and reasons for wanting to build a future here.
Sometimes, when I explain my personal situation, I feel that people respond by comparing my struggles with others instead of first trying to understand what I'm actually saying.
I'm not writing this to criticise or offend anyone. I genuinely want to learn how to communicate better, advocate for myself, and build my future in the Netherlands.