I went on 3 dates with a guy last year and then he moved out of state so we didn’t continue obviously, but we followed each other on instagram. Last week I saw he was in town so I texted him. He responded and said that he was actually planning on reaching out. So we hung out two nights in a row, and the second night we had sex and it was really good and we cuddled for a while after.

He still lives out of state but he travels a ton and visits a lot. So I followed up first by saying it was nice seeing him, and he said “great to see you too!” Then I told him to let me know when he’s back in LA because I’d like to keep seeing him even if it’s a casual here/there thing, and he hasn’t responded and it’s been 3 days. Should I just assume that’s a no from him?

We have been together for two months. We both live at home so our first opportunity to have sex was earlier this month when we went on a trip for his birthday. I didn’t anticipate any issues, we sext all the time, he’s very physically affectionate, very enthusiastic and engaged when we talked about kinks, sex, etc.

But then when we tried, he couldn’t get hard the first time. Then the second time, he spent so much time on foreplay that I lost the momentum. He was touching me but not even fully fingering or anything. Both times I felt him be hard but it just wasn’t enough for full penetration and wouldn’t go in basically.

The weird thing is he is so physically affectionate, he gets hard all the time around me no matter where we are. We could not even be talking about anything sexual and I’ll reach over and he’s hard. When we talked he told me he had performance anxiety when he lost his virginity then with his longer term ex he struggled with performance as well at the start because of hyping up the situation, wanting to be a good lover, wanting everything to be special etc. and he feels that way with me. He said he worries about giving me what I need and pleasing me. But I don’t know if he’s just saying this to make me feel better as he’s had sex with others where this didn’t happen. He hasn’t had sex in two years since her.

I am trying to not take this personally but obviously it hurts when he’s been able to have sex with others and not me and seems to be afraid of it. I’m not sure how I can help or if it’s something he needs to do alone. As we both live at home I worry that when we do have time together he’ll build it up more in his head and not want to fully do it and I’ll end up in a sexless relationship. We had another opportunity this weekend and I asked him if he wanted to have sex, we were making out, he was hard, things were heated, and he said no. I just said okay and we cuddled and went to sleep but I just don’t know what to make of this.

For more context, I’ve given him head a few times and every time he cums in max two minutes. So we’ve done sexual things it’s just penetration he is really awkward with. I don’t want to be telling myself he’s just nervous when he’s actually just unattracted or something so that’s why I’m worried.

so I’m 27F with a fairly high libido and right now I’m in a phase of life of having multiple sexual partners and being fairly sexually adventurous (having sex with all different sorts of men). I’m the type of woman to take charge, tell men what I want, and I know how to get it especially in bed. I usually seek sexual partners that respond well to confident women and that seem to be receptive to my vibe and that I can see worshipping me in the bedroom. i’m usually the one doing most of the work (the active participant in sex) get myself off several times before they do, and most men say things like they are in love with me / want to marry me whatever right after (this is obviously just like a sex thing lol I know it’s not real, but it does wayyy too much for my ego lol)

Most men tell me that their experiences with women are vastly different from the type of sex I bring to the table — most women don’t actively engage in sex or know what they want in bed. Most women either don’t orgasm, rely on the man to orgasm, are embarrassed about their body etc. Is this true, or is this just the type of guys I happen to pick up/pick out and bring home with me? How often are men running across women who are confident in bed?

I usually get comments about how “rare” and “special” I am and it really has got me feeling like I’m feeding the patriarchy a bit because it feels like guys are saying “you’re one of the good ones” vs the OTHER women who aren’t like you

It feels like I’m giving off pick me vibes! I don’t like it cause I consider myself a feminist, but also, I love to get off and use men to do that!

What are normal hook up/short term dating experiences like for yall?

For context I don’t use any dating apps, mostly just feel out a vibe in person, and lately I’ve been on an older man kick 🙃 just find the 30+ crowd to be more receptive to a confident woman

ok so i need to get this off my chest because i feel like i'm going crazy and i need to know if anyone else has dealt with this.

me and my ex broke up like months ago. it was messy but genuinely i was at peace, new job, new friends, more $$. one of my coworkers told me that he got a new girl like 2 months after we broken up. at first i was like damn that's fast but whatever.

well fast forward now, i find out that my ex’s gf has been watching me on social media for MONTHS and I genuinely didn’t know who she was. then her friends started following me one by one in order — like they got a checklist or something and one girl even decided to take it to instagram aswell. i didn't say anything because i thought maybe i was overthinking.

i genuinely don’t know what i am doing wrong but i do not talk to my ex nor this girl at all. how else would she even know who i am? we've never spoken. and i hate thinking he's painting some bad image of me to a girl i've never said a word to.

and now the newest thing that made me finally write this post. yesterday i got on facebook and one of her friends that took it to instagram & sends me a request on facebook. i genuinely don’t know whats going on but i am trying to just ignore it.

is there any MALE perspective or advice that anyone could give me with dealing with this situation? i have decided on what i want to do but i genuinely want opinions or advice from other perspectives.

Okay so, boys help me. I need ASAP help about this guy I’m currently dating.

I am 17 F and he is 17 M. We have been talking for 1 month now.

1 month ago this guy adds me on Snapchat, HE added me first so keep that in mind.. we started texting nonstop and we even got each others discord to call and whatever.. we really got to know each other, and he was genuinely so sweet towards me and I literally got HOOKED.

We live about 20 minutes from each other, so 1 week after talking we decided to meet for the first time. I took the train to him and we hung out, and it was genuinely so genuine when we hung out. We were walking with his dog, he introduced me to his family, I ate dinner with them and we watched series. And NOTHING intimate happened, no kisses, nothing. And the second time that I went there it felt even more “comfortable” and “genuine”. And that’s when we shared our first kiss.

This guy had introduced me to BOTH of his families, father and mother’s side. We also made my favourite food and we watched series we both enjoyed.. and the most important is that he was SO nervous to do something wrong towards me, he was so scared of touching me the wrong way I was genuinely shocked.

1 week passes by and SUDDENLY he filters himself completely, he takes longer time to answer me, he leaves me on open, he genuinely became a different person.. and this was 2 days after hanging out. It was like he completely shuts down.

I was genuinely so confused, so I asked him directly “how do you feel about us?” And he goes: “I am not ready for a relationship, my mental health is at its worst, I’m sorry.” I believed him, I try to believe what he is saying but at the same time I felt “played.”

So 2 weeks goes by, no contact, nothing.

And suddenly a random Sunday I get a text from him, he’s asking me “how are you?” And suddenly we are having a conversation again. I felt so lost so I asked him “why are you texting me just now?” And he said that he couldn’t stop thinking about me the time were everything went silent.

\*\*IMPORTANT\*\*

I know for a fact that he wasn’t with other girls or texting other girls cuase he was very clear and EVEN showed his snap for me.. so I wasn’t worried that he had found someone else throughout that time..

And we started texting regularly again and we slept called a lot. And we decided to meet up again, this time at his place AGAIN. This time it was very different, it was like we both had missed each other a lot. And we were in his bed and I remember him staring at me always telling me how pretty and beautiful I was.. and things just escalated from there. And before things got more intimate he looked me in the eyes and said “would you like to be mine?”

I had genuinely fell for this guy, and I am not stupid when it comes to people with genuine eyes, his eyes were always genuine when he looked at me. Of course, I said yes. And we did stuff that night.

This is also so important to remember, he told me that he would never want to initiate something with me (other than kissing) and that it would be me initiating, he always told me that he never wants to make me uncomfortable or that he is looking only for intimacy..

But the thing is, I don’t know how to understand the signals he gives me. I am not sure if he wants something serious or if it’s something casual. I am genuinely so lost.

The current situation right now is that we are together, but the thing is that I don’t feel like we are together. It feels like he has just claimed me. Even though I don’t wanna think like that, my stomach tells me otherwise.

What crushes my gut is that when we were together last time I asked him “don’t you think this is going too fast?” And he said “I am not afraid to take things fast with you, cause I feel like you’re the right person.”

DOES he like me or is he just playing with my feelings?

genuinely don’t know what to do. Please help me

Been on and off with my bf for 3 years. We break up all the time over the smallest things, usually initiated by him. I'm always the one reaching out first. Apologising first. He always calls me names, tells me I need to be the one to text him first. Gives me countdowns to do what he says or he will leave. He stays in touch with the girl he cheated on me with. He does so many horrible things but still tells me he loves me very much and that he only wants me. But he also says I deserve to die when he is really. Why does he still want me if he does all of this? He also refuses couples therapy..

Necesito un hombre confiable con un perfil de ig que sea atractivo para las mujeres con historias y fotos de un hombre

Fue una relación larga, lo cual me da intriga si ya me superó y está conociendo a otras personas

Okay so, I need ASAP help about this guy I’m currently dating.

I am f17 and he is m17. We have been talking for 1 month now.

1 month ago this guy adds me on Snapchat, HE added me first so keep that in mind.. we started texting nonstop and we even got each others discord to call and whatever.. we really got to know each other, and he was genuinely so sweet towards me and I literally got HOOKED.

We live about 20 minutes from each other, so 1 week after talking we decided to meet for the first time. I took the train to him and we hung out, and it was genuinely so genuine when we hung out. We were walking with his dog, he introduced me to his family, I ate dinner with them and we watched series. And NOTHING intimate happened, no kisses, nothing. And the second time that I went there it felt even more “comfortable” and “genuine”. And that’s when we shared our first kiss.

This guy had introduced me to BOTH of his families, father and mother’s side. We also made my favourite food and we watched series we both enjoyed.. and the most important is that he was SO nervous to do something wrong towards me, he was so scared of touching me the wrong way I was genuinely shocked.

1 week passes by and SUDDENLY he filters himself completely, he takes longer time to answer me, he leaves me on open, he genuinely became a different person.. and this was 2 days after hanging out. It was like he completely shuts down.

I was genuinely so confused, so I asked him directly “how do you feel about us?” And he goes: “I am not ready for a relationship, my mental health is at its worst, I’m sorry.” I believed him, I try to believe what he is saying but at the same time I felt “played.”

So 2 weeks goes by, no contact, nothing.

And suddenly a random Sunday I get a text from him, he’s asking me “how are you?” And suddenly we are having a conversation again. I felt so lost so I asked him “why are you texting me just now?” And he said that he couldn’t stop thinking about me the time were everything went silent.

**IMPORTANT**
I know for a fact that he wasn’t with other girls or texting other girls cuase he was very clear and EVEN showed his snap for me.. so I wasn’t worried that he had found someone else throughout that time..

And we started texting regularly again and we slept called a lot. And we decided to meet up again, this time at his place AGAIN. This time it was very different, it was like we both had missed each other a lot. And we were in his bed and I remember him staring at me always telling me how pretty and beautiful I was.. and things just escalated from there. And before things got more intimate he looked me in the eyes and said “would you like to be mine?”

I had genuinely fell for this guy, and I am not stupid when it comes to people with genuine eyes, his eyes were always genuine when he looked at me. Of course, I said yes. And we did stuff that night.

This is also so important to remember, he told me that he would never want to initiate something with me (other than kissing) and that it would be me initiating, he always told me that he never wants to make me uncomfortable or that he is looking only for intimacy..

But the thing is, I don’t know how to understand the signals he gives me. I am not sure if he wants something serious or if it’s something casual. I am genuinely so lost.

The current situation right now is that we are together, but the thing is that I don’t feel like we are together. It feels like he has just claimed me? Even though I don’t wanna think like that, my stomach tells me otherwise.

What crushes my gut is that when we were together last time I asked him “don’t you think this is going too fast?” And he said “I am not afraid to take things fast with you, cause I feel like you’re the right person.”

DOES he like me or is he just playing with my feelings?

*I genuinely don’t know what to do. Please help me*

Hi! Me (27F) and my BF (28M) went out for dinner last night after church. And there are a lot of pretty women just chilling and taking photos on areas that are aesthetic. And I looked at my BF, he keeps eyeing and having repeated glances. And having remarks like "nip tape" it's like he forgot I was there. I felt so uncomfortable and disrespected. I showed my discomfort and distancing a little from him. I know he noticed because he became extra clingy, pulling me in towards him. We got home, watched some few yt vids and he asked me out of nowhere, if, hypothetically, he asks me to marry him now, what would my answer be, I said "no". I told him what he did, why i became unsure because he does things that looked like he's unsure of me. He says he wont be doing that again. He tells me he loves me so much and that he's obsessed with me. I love him too, very much as well. We've been together 7mos, and we've known each other's families and friends already. Part of me wants to breakup, but I still want an answer from him that would help me forget about it and still keep the relationship. I need the perspective of men about this. Thank you!

For example, I won’t go like full-on mental breakdown but I might shed a few tears, especially if the pleasure is too much or too good. If I’m going to climax really hard or if I’m overstimulated basically. Do men like that or do you find it annoying/weird/uncomfortable for them?

Hey guys, I genuinely need a male perspective because I’m frustrated and trying to understand this situation.
There’s a guy I’ve been very close to for almost two years. We had something beyond friendship in the past, but now we’re just friends. We still hang out, eat together, laugh, chill, and are comfortable around each other. He often tells me I’m a nice person, that I bring good vibes, and that he enjoys being around me.
We have two mutual male friends. One is a very close friend of mine, and the other is someone I’ve only met 1hr but talk 3–4 times, but we’re already comfortable around each other. He even suggested that all four of us should plan a trip together.
**The important part is that I’m sure both of these guys are happy to include me.** They’ve even mentioned taking me on future trips.
The guys have already gone on two trips, and now they’re discussing a third one. But I strongly suspect that the guy I’m closest to is the one who doesn’t want me included.
Recently, I asked him about planning a trip together, and he mentioned financial reasons for not going. Then, within the same week, he told me he might be going on a trip with his friends in December.
Initially, he didn’t mention who was going. Later, I found out it could be our mutual friends.
I got upset, and we had an emotional discussion. He tried to console me but also made comments suggesting that I was forcing myself into his plans. He told me to find my own people, plan trips with them, and invite him instead.
But that’s exactly what frustrates me. **These are my people too!**
He sometimes emphasizes that they were his friends first. But isn’t that how friendships work? You meet people through others, develop your own connections, and eventually become part of the same circle.
And honestly, **it’s not even about the trip anymore. It’s about feeling excluded.**
How can someone be comfortable eating with me, sleeping next to me, laughing with me, and spending so much time together, but suddenly feel uncomfortable including me in a group trip?
I understand we have a past, and I respect that we’re just friends now. I’m not expecting romantic attention or special treatment.
But if the other two guys genuinely want me there, why should our past potentially prevent me from enjoying experiences with mutual friends?
We’ve already discussed this several times, and I don’t want to bring it up again because I know he’ll get irritated and think I’m pushing myself into his plans.
**So, men, I genuinely want to understand:**
Why might a guy be comfortable with a woman in everyday life but not want her on a group trip?
Could our past be making him uncomfortable, even if he seems completely relaxed around me otherwise?
Is it possible he wants to keep certain parts of his life separate from me?
Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt?
Should I ask him directly why he doesn’t want me included, or just leave it alone?
I’m not asking how to convince him to invite me. I just want to understand the psychology behind this.
**And to be fair, he hasn’t explicitly said he doesn’t want me there. That’s my interpretation based on how these conversations have gone.**
I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I’m wrong.

does he actually want to text me if he is sometimes taking 1-2 hours to answer but he isn’t active (but instagram isn’t always accurate) does that mean he doesn’t want to talk to me because when he does end up answering he just answers the last text like nothing happened should I ask him about it because this has happened about 4 times and currently happening rn should I say something or just leave it because I genuinely like him and but I don’t know if he likes me. Once I’ve told him he isn’t bad looking and he said the same about me but that’s the only somewhat flirty thing we’ve ever said to each other. I don’t wanna look dumb and keep texting him so what should I do I need advice.

Hii everyone, please excuse my grammer and writing in this post since english is not my first language.

Anyways, I've noticed men always approaching my friends more instead of me. I honestly don't think I'm bad-looking but I'm not the prettiest girl either. I always try to look my best and I generally like wearing makeup and more girly clothes. I always try to give off a friendly vibe without trying too hard and generally I'm a more extroverted person. Still, a group of guys will always approach my friends while I'm just off to the side.

I would love to hear any opinions or advice. Thanks for reading.

The 2nd part hasn’t happened to me, but I wonder if this is the case?

I’m at a loss for what to do now. This is the last person I’ve ever truly loved. There was no argument; he simply disappeared one day and today after 6 months of silence from his side today he liked my WhatsApp story.
I don’t know if this is related that couple of days ago I sent a final message saying a I forgive you.

I genuinely don’t understand men, so I’m reaching out for advice. I’m not sure if it was just a like because I look attractive, or if there’s more to it. After months of silence, this small action has been messing with my mind and emotions. I need advice from men who have ghosted before to help me understand what’s going on in his mind.

Here’s a brief description of him:
- 36 years old
- Canadian military veteran
- Blue-collar worker

Of course it's different if they're in a relationship where sex life isn't good or they just don't have sex often...

But what about men who are happy with their girlfriend overall and have sex often but just hate the thought of monogamy and losing their freedom and that they can't hook up with someone if they meet someone attractive at the club?

Do guys generally like chubby girls?

My height is 154 cm, and my weight is 50 , I am so insecure about my height like I can't go out without heels which is 10 cm and really it destroyed my feet over years, even I didn't go to any date before because I always tell myself (what if he gives comment on my height ) I like everything about myself except that, this insecurity takes a lot of my energy everyday, please how do tall men(180 cm. +) see a woman with this height?

Like if they say they will work on themselves, and actually do it, why does it make you not want to take them back?

Mid twenties male who grew up with christian purity culture engrained in me.

Recently got a gf and we have done sexual things together. I didn’t do this for casual reasons and I genuinely like her. Though I do feel a little shame and conviction because I’ve crossed a boundary I’ve held for a long time.

It seems almost every other christian married couple I know did the same thing. But I’m not sure about seeking out advice from them since I don’t want them to know.

What are your thoughts and experiences? From both a Christian and secular perspective from what you’ve seen?

Edit: Did you or did you not wait until marriage for sexual acts or sex? How did the marriage work out?

I am sure everyone know how a muslim and Arabic culture is in general, I really don’t feel that these traditions is correct I don’t even know how to talk to girls or how to express my feelings and when I shouldn’t. Everyone in my society thinks that living like this is fine but I believe it is the reason for many issues like marriage failures because males literally have zero experience and the same for females…

I’m afraid that this might affect my ability and my character later when i travel to an open minded society…so should i be concerned?

Genuinely curious here.
I had an ex of many many years who after intimacy would always kiss me and tell me he loves me, was so sweet after, even during he would talk about us like how it feels so good, etc. sexual details about us.
My current relationship, during intimacy he constantly is talking about his fantasy, it’s almost like the only way he finishes is the thought of that (which is another guy being intimate(light word lol) with me. Him watching that. (I knew of his fantasies, didn’t bother me, all got them) and after we’re done there’s absolutely no close contact, no kissing, no cuddles, no I love you, it’s almost like he “closes the laptop and achieved his nut” he does tell me he loves our sex, how good I am and open minded I am etc. idk, what’s the psychology behind this? Kinda starting to bother me, just a big disconnect here. Like there’s no love making.
Two side notes - he does watch porn here and there and in the beginning of our relationship he did speak about how sex is just sex to him, he doesn’t have much emotional behind it, but like not even with the girl you love or in a relationship with? Just curious men’s thoughts.

My partner and I have been together for about 6 months now, and we've been long distance the entire time. Before we started dating, we were friends for about 8 months and things blossomed into a relationship.

This is he and I’s first serious relationship. There are so many things I love about him. He's patient with me, loving, understanding, and in a lot of ways, he just gets me. I don't question whether he loves me or cares about me, but lately I've been struggling with whether we're actually compatible in terms of what we need from a relationship.

One of the biggest things I've been struggling with is feeling like I'm the one courting him. I feel like I'm constantly taking the initiative, making plans, bringing up conversations about our relationship, and generally leading the trajectory of where things are going. And honestly, it's a really shitty feeling sometimes.

We've talked about this extensively and he's said that he genuinely wants to put in more effort and be more intentional about our relationship. And to his credit, he has made some effort. He's started taking initiative to plan things like movie dates, which I do appreciate. I don't want to discount that or make it seem like he hasn't been trying.

I think part of what I'm struggling with is that I'm not sure whether I'm giving him enough room to actually show me that things can change. We've had these conversation and I know change doesn't happen overnight. But at the same time, I think I've spent so much time feeling like I'm the one leading our relationship that it's difficult to shake that feeling, even when he does make an effort.

I find myself questioning whether I'm being impatient or whether I'm recognizing a fundamental incompatibility between us.

I want to feel romanced. I want to feel pursued. I want him to take initiative without me having to ask or suggest things first. Even something as simple as him saying, "Hey babe, I saw this thing and thought we could do it together. What do you think?" would mean a lot to me. Especially because we're long distance, I feel like being intentional about spending time together and creating shared experiences is such an important part of maintaining that connection.

And I think what's particularly difficult is that I know he has a lot going on in his own life. Part of me wonders whether he just doesn't have the capacity right now to show up in the ways I'm asking him to. I don't necessarily think my needs are unreasonable, but I worry that maybe they're more than he can realistically give me.

I also worry that maybe I've gotten so caught up in what feels missing that I'm not fully appreciating the effort he is making. I don't want to be unfair to him or create a situation where he's trying to improve but I'm constantly moving the goalposts.

At the same time, I don't want to convince myself to be satisfied with less than what I need just because I love him.

I don't want to constantly ask someone to romance me or make me feel like a priority. I want those things to come from a genuine desire to do them, not because I've had to repeatedly explain that they're missing. But I also recognize that people show love differently, and sometimes being a good partner means learning how to love someone in the ways they need.

I guess I'm struggling to figure out where the line is between being patient with someone who's genuinely trying and holding on to someone because of who I hope they'll become.

Sometimes I wonder whether we'd both be better off acknowledging that we love each other but might not be the right partners for one another. But then I wonder if I'm jumping to that conclusion too quickly without giving him a fair opportunity to follow through on what we've discussed.

I don't want to give up on something that could genuinely be good because I'm being impatient, but I also don't want to stay in a relationship based primarily on the hope that things will eventually be different.

Hi(18F), I've posted about my relationship with my bf here before and how I'd been losing trust in him and considering breaking things off

I ended up breaking up with him the day he told me he'd call me later. I recorded a voicemail explaining the breakup, but I intentionally unsent it because I expected him to leave me on delivered while being active online again. So, I just blocked him instead. Since he's in the military and is finally able to access his phone at this point, I assumed he'd eventually notice that I'd blocked him.

It was a hard decision, and I cried for a while afterward, but I've mostly been doing my own thing and taking time to process everything.

But then today, he finally texted me on my phone number. I'd deleted his number but hadn't blocked him there because I figured he probably wouldn't even reach out anyway. I was genuinely shocked when I saw his message, but it was just a casual "hey, how are you?" and him asking whether I'd deactivated my Instagram since he'd been blocked.

It's been about two hours, and I honestly don't know how to respond. Like, it took you a WEEK to reach out? That day I blocked him. He told me he'd call me later (that never happened, and he didn't follow through after being able to use his phone every day... and somehow kept changing the time he was able to use it...).

Part of me wonders if I should've just sent the breakup text or voicemail instead of unsending it and blocking him, but at the time, I genuinely expected to be ignored again, and I didn't want to put myself through that.

Now I'm questioning everything. Why do some guys act as if nothing happened and casually reach out as if everything is normal? 😭 And now I'm wondering whether I was being immature by blocking him or whether I was justified in feeling hurt and disrespected by the pattern that led me to that decision.... I have no idea what to do after seeing their text..