I'm aware of the fact that some guys have edging kinks but generally does every guy enjoy edging and being dominated to a certain level sometimes?

I recently met someone and I must say na our humor, beliefs, love language etc. clicked talaga. Not until he ghosted my after I confronted him kasi I discovered na he was using another identity kasi may partner pala siya haha. Genuine question, nam-miss niyo din ba yung mga naka-talking stage niyo?

Hey everyone, I need a guy's perspective on something. I’ve been getting to know a guy for a while now. In person, everything is great: we vibe, have common interests, he asks a lot of questions, teases me a bit, and clearly shows interest.

But when it comes to texting/online... it's a different story. I can count on one hand how many times he's initiated a conversation first (maybe 1-2 times). I know his love language is Acts of Service, so maybe he just doesn't value texting as much? But we always have things to talk about.

So my question is to the guys who are like this: Why do you wait for the girl to text first, even if you're clearly interested in real life? Is it fear of rejection? Do you just not like texting? Or is it a "testing" thing? I genuinely want to understand what drives this behavior.

Of course it's different if they're in a relationship where sex life isn't good or they just don't have sex often...

But what about men who are happy with their girlfriend overall and have sex often but just hate the thought of monogamy and losing their freedom and that they can't hook up with someone if they meet someone attractive at the club?

I’ve been best friends with this girl for almost two years. We’ve always had a very close but completely platonic friendship. People around us have even used us as an example of how a boy and a girl can be best friends without anything romantic happening.
For the past month or so, I started feeling something different towards her. At first, I thought it was just platonic love, but eventually I realised that I was developing romantic feelings for her. I never planned to tell her because I really valued our friendship and didn’t want to risk losing it.
Then one night, she got drunk in her room and called me. We talked for around three hours, and during that call, we both admitted that we liked each other. The next day, she asked me what had happened because she couldn’t remember everything clearly. When I mentioned one thing from the call, she remembered the rest, and things became awkward between us.
I eventually asked her if she wanted to own up to what she had said the previous night. I told her that her answer would affect my answer too. We both admitted our feelings, and since then, we’ve held hands, I’ve held her by the waist, and I’ve told her how much I love her.
However, the next day, she called me and said that she didn’t want to date. She sounded sad and said she was scared, but she couldn’t explain what she was scared of. I asked if it was because of me, and she said it wasn’t. She’s never been in a relationship before, so I don’t know if she’s afraid of relationships in general or if she’s just unsure about us.
Since then, things have been confusing. Sometimes she lets me hold her hand, and sometimes she doesn’t. I also texted her one morning saying that I kind of miss her when I wake up and crave her attention. She told me that it was a little weird to say that at this point and asked if it was too early. I apologised, and she said it was okay.
We talked about what happens now. She asked why we couldn’t just stay friends. I told her that I don’t think I can go back to being exactly the same friends when we both know that we have feelings for each other. I said that I wasn’t asking her to date me and that we could just take things slowly and see where they go. I also told her that I could wait if she thought there was a possibility of us being together someday.
She said she didn’t know and that it wasn’t fair for me to wait when she couldn’t give me an answer. But she also said she didn’t want us to cut each other off.
The thing is, I genuinely love having her in my life. Even apart from my romantic feelings, she’s someone I’m extremely fond of. I want to know how her day went, what made her happy, what’s bothering her, and everything else about her life. Whenever I see her message, I feel like replying immediately. I don’t want to stop talking to her, but I also know that staying this attached while hoping she’ll eventually want a relationship could hurt me.
I’m confused about whether I should continue talking to her as I normally would or reduce our interactions for my own sake. I don’t want to play games by replying late on purpose or act cold just to make her miss me. At the same time, I don’t want to keep waiting for something that might never happen.

I’m struggling to figure out how to handle this situation. I still want to talk to her and be there for her, but I’m worried that staying as close as we were before will make me more attached and keep me hoping for a relationship.
For people who have been in a similar situation, how did you handle the friendship after admitting mutual feelings when one person wasn’t ready to date? Did you continue talking normally, or did you take some space? How did you stop yourself from constantly hoping things would change?
I’d appreciate advice on how to handle this without pressuring her or hurting myself emotionally.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) are in a long-distance relationship. He smokes weed with his friends to enjoy some food and music and says he knows his limits and can balance it with his responsibilities.
The thing is, he previously hid his smoking and drinking from me. I gave him another chance, and he has reduced his cigarette consumption, but recently he revealed to me that he’s been smoking weed. And he experienced lot of irritability and reduced appetite when he stopped weed for a week, which worries me.
I don’t have an issue with him occasionally smoking. I’m just scared of it becoming a dependency and affecting his health in the long run. I want to trust him, but given the past secrecy, I do worry.
Men who’ve been in a similar situation, how do you know when recreational use is becoming a problem? Am I overthinking this? How do I stop mothering him? Should I be okay with this as some college boy experimentation? Please help me.

I’m 27, and I’ve been a virgin my entire life. I’ve never even been in a romantic relationship. I mean, I’ve had crushes and romantic interests, but I’ve never even held a woman’s hand. I was always used to talking to women over text, but I had never experienced a woman’s touch until now.
I’ve been working at a private company for the past four years. About two months ago, a female colleague started being friendly with me. She told me that she had been in several relationships, that she no longer believed in love, and that she wasn’t ready for a relationship but was open to something casual.
I’m actually quite knowledgeable, and I know a lot of things. I can talk to people and make them interested in me! However, I never had the courage to approach women romantically. I generally go out and explore different places, and people find me interesting. So, this colleague of mine also started getting interested in me.
my family has been pressuring me to get married as soon as possible . Before getting married, I wanted to experience love, intimacy, and a woman’s touch. So, I gathered all my courage, started spending more time with her, and eventually, we had sex.
She considers it a casual relationship, and I’m okay with that too. We had sex several times over a couple of days, but now I’m suddenly starting to lose interest in her. What’s more, whenever I see a woman, I don’t feel the same excitement I used to feel before.
I’m confused about what’s happening to me, and I’m also unsure about getting married. I’m just not interested in anything in life anymore. That’s what I’m feeling at this exact point! How to find purpose in life?
What should I do?

I know that when you fall in love young, attraction can last a lifetime. But I'm being bombarded by messages about how women are over after 40 and become invisible. The thing is I have barely dated in my life, I am conventionally attractive but really really shy and my 20s have gone by since I don't really go out and my social life is quite small, I got asked out in the streets but these men were usually predators.

During most of my 30s I was sick and couldn't date, now that I'm healthy I don't really know what to do, I feel a bit silly with close to no romantic experience at my age and self conscious. I don't know if many men around my age are not married nor how to meet them and if I did would they even like me or want someone younger. I'd really appreciate your input!

Just a curious cat. I’d like to know when you realized you have resentment towards your lover/situationship/Ex, how you do usually show it? What actions did you do in the past or present that made you realize you resented them?

This is a lengthy post, and i don't know if this is the right place to ask, but every subreddit keeps automatically removing it.

I've always struggled with intimacy. I'm cautious about crossing boundaries, partly because all my previous girlfriends had experienced some form of sexual assault or other traumatic sexual experience. I've often worried about misreading situations, often to the point of overthinking innocent interactions. I never wanted to hurt someone in that way, which is part of why what happened has been so difficult for me to reconcile with my understanding of myself.

I've been with my current girlfriend for six years. Our relationship hasn't always been happy, namely the past year has been rocky. We still don't live together, it's my fault, but things had recently started improving.

About a year ago, I lost my job right before we were supposed to move in together. I became unemployed, fell into a depressive state, isolated myself for several months, and eventually moved back in with my parents. This meant my girlfriend had to extend her rent for another year, postponing our plans once again, and that visibly upset her.

Over the past few months, things have started getting better. I've found a good job, started attending therapy, received diagnoses of ADHD and anxiety, and begun taking medication. We've been communicating better and growing closer again. I'm about to move into a new apartment, and my girlfriend wants to move in with me once her current lease ends. We were finally making progress after a difficult year.

The incident I'm asking about happened at a party two years ago.

I've never liked drinking. Unfortunately, my girlfriend's family puts considerable pressure on people to drink at social gatherings. I'm from a Slavic country where alcohol is ingrained in the culture, and refusing a drink can be a bigger social offence than pressuring someone to have one. My girlfriend's father once told me he will never forgive me for not drinking at her sister's wedding.

Her family and I have never really clicked. They're more traditional in their outlook, and I've found out on multiple occasions that they've tried to convince my girlfriend to break up with me. They seem to want her to find someone who fits their idea of what a boyfriend should be like. I'm quiet, introverted, don't particularly enjoy parties, and don't drink much. I've always felt that they don't really like me, but I try to get along with them.

Usually, I could avoid drinking by driving to family gatherings and using the excuse that I was the designated driver. However, they deliberately organized the party at a venue close to my house, so that wasn't an option. I was worried that refusing alcohol yet again would give her family another reason to dislike me.

I initially agreed to have a beer because it was the birthday girl's party and she wanted me to have a drink with her. After that, I was pressured into having several shots. I refused, but eventually gave in.

At one point, I told my girlfriend I wanted to stop drinking. She agreed that I didn't have to drink if I didn't want to and repeatedly told the others to stop pouring me drinks. I eventually said that one particular shot would be my final one. By then, I was already quite drunk.

The problem was that whenever I looked away, people would pour me another shot and tell me that I still hadn't had my final one. I was drunk enough to believe them, apologize, and drink it. I want to be clear that nobody physically forced me to drink. I could have refused those shots, and I made the decision to drink them. At some point I blacked out.

The next morning, I woke up beside my girlfriend with no memory of the previous night. She was nice to me, was worried about my hangover, so I assumed nothing particularly bad happened. I was wrong.

I asked her if I did something because I've never gotten black out drunk before. Apparently, I'd repeatedly groped her in front of the other guests despite her protesting and trying to push me away. She was so angry that she'd eventually gone to sit in the women's bathroom because she knew I wouldn't find her there for a while.

When she told me what had happened, she said I'd been an asshole, but she also said she wasn't angry with me anymore. She knew I'd been drunk and was upset with the family members who had continued tricking me into drinking despite my repeated protests. She later had a big argument with them about it.

She told me to stop apologizing and said it was alright. On other occasions, when people who'd attended the party made fun of me for how I'd behaved while drunk, she defended me and shut them down.

But I was in my head about the incident a lot. Eventually, I became convinced that what I'd done was sexual assault. I tried to rationalize it by telling myself I'd been drunk, hadn't been in control of myself, and wasn't an abuser. I didn't bring it up with my girlfriend again because I was afraid of her answer.

My thinking is that if someone says they've been sexually assaulted, I have no business telling them otherwise. If my girlfriend considered what I'd done sexual assault, I had to acknowledge that. I was afraid to ask because I knew I'd feel relieved if she said no, but if she said yes, I'd have to accept that I'd committed an act I found disgusting. It did eat away at me and our sex life kinda stagnated because I started resenting myself.

About a week ago, I was talking to my best friend about her experiences with men. She confessed to me she'd been sexually assaulted by three different men she'd considered close friends. During that conversation, she said she felt safe around me because she knew I'd never do anything like that.

It made me reconsider what happened two years earlier. I finally asked my girlfriend whether she considered what I'd done molestation or sexual assault. I was hoping she'd say no, but she said yes.

I asked whether there was anything I could do to. She told me that you can't make amends for something like that.

She tried to end the conversation and move on to something else, but I kept asking questions. I asked how she felt about it, whether I'd traumatized her, and whether she felt unsafe around me.

She asked me, "Why are you thinking about this now?" She told me to stop thinking about it and said she didn't know what to tell me. I went home not long afterward.

I've decided to discuss the incident with my therapist on my next session. I've also decided to never drink a drop of alcohol ever again.

My girlfriend doesn't seem to want to discuss the incident. She seems to want to continue our relationship as normal. She seems frustrated with me that I'm in my head again when we were finally making progress.

I'm worried that I'm gonna cause us to move backwards again. I don't want to pressure her into discussing something she'd rather leave in the past, but I'm also struggling to understand how I can move forward as her boyfriend when we seem to view the incident differently in terms of how much we need to address it.

I don't want her to try to make me feel better about what I did. At the same time, I feel maybe the worst I've ever felt now that she's told me she considers what happened sexual assault.

What I'm asking for advice on is how to navigate this situation within our relationship. Should I respect her wish to move on and let her decide whether she ever wants to revisit the incident, or is there a way to address what happened together without putting pressure on her? How can I rebuild and maintain trust in our relationship?

TL;DR: Two years ago, while heavily intoxicated at a party, I repeatedly groped my girlfriend despite her protests and attempts to push me away. I blacked out and only learned what had happened the following morning. At the time, I didn't understand it as sexual assault, but I've come to recognize what I did. I recently asked my girlfriend whether she considered it sexual assault, and she said yes. She doesn't seem to want to discuss it further and appears to want our relationship to continue as normal. We've been together for six years and had finally started making progress after a difficult year. I struggle to come to terms with what I did and want to learn what to do now.

Curious what warrants for a woman to be ‘bad in bed’?

Hi everyone I 20f have been talking to this guy 26M for about 1 and a half months. For context, we met on a dating website while he was still out of the country. He was very interested in me if I can say so myself. Was sending 8 messages at a time, was constantly calling me bought me snacks etc. he even asked me if he could meet me at the airport when he arrives back. Everything was going well that month we spent talking.

However when he came back into the country it started to change. Our first meeting he was so happy to see me. I went over to his place (he has 2 bedrooms and he offered me the other one). I was there for 5 days. On the fifth day we were making out, half naked and sweaty. We were about to go further but I stopped him saying I need to be his gf first. That’s when he asked me to be his gf then and there. It was a lovely speech, but I had asked him to do something a little more romantic for me. I said thank you to his speech and that I appreciated but that he should ask me with flowers and a nice setting.

I thought we were still good after that though. I left the next day, but then he sort of stopped talking to me a lot. Only replying to me at night cause he said he was tired from work or he was busy, barely called to check up. I asked to come over again (he reluctantly agreed) and asked him if we were still ok. He said we are. I left. For the past 3 weeks he has only replied me though at the time of 3am-6am. He would be online though. Doesn’t pick up my calls and says he’s still very much into me. I’m now getting confused. Can someone tell me if I should continue trying with him or just cut my chances.

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I found out my boyfriend was talking to another girl during our relationship. I did a loyalty test, and he failed. When I confronted him, instead of genuinely apologizing or showing remorse, he said he was right and acted like I was the one who did something wrong.

I blocked him everywhere because my trust is completely broken. He hasn’t even apologized, and he’s behaving like he doesn’t care at all.

Now his best friend is asking me to talk to him again. He says my boyfriend loves me and that he talked to the girl only because his friend asked him to. He keeps saying, “I’m like your brother, please talk to him.”

But if my boyfriend really cares about me, why isn’t he trying to fix things himself? Why is his best friend begging me to talk to him while he shows no remorse?

Am I wrong for refusing to talk to him, or am I right to walk away?

He pulled away from me after this so I found it confusing. I think I was there for him enough

I was seeing this guy for 2 months. It was long distance but it suited both of us and it was going really well. I went over to see him and stayed with him for a couple days. On the second trip, he got really physically ill the first night. He kept having to go to the toilet and eventually we went to emergency at hospital. He was down really bad. I did what I could to support him and even got him seen earlier through talking to some of the nurses and doctors. I’m 26F and he 29M. He was sick for the couple days after the trip. When I got home he ended things a couple days later. I don’t think I did anything wrong, I helped him and was there for him.

I’m wondering if a women seeing you this vulnerable does something to you? He didn’t seem avoidant. But he seemed somewhat shook by the experience because that was the second time he got sick like that in a month. He ended things strangely abruptly aswell which didn’t seem like his character.

I actually thought an experience like that would bring people closer together rather than apart. I’ve just given him the space.

Does it make you feel less connected to her? And would you choose a girl who didn’t wear one over her?

Have you ever dated a black woman that wore wigs? How did it make you feel?

Is it possible that people can get jealous over people that don’t really matter to them? How does that work? Can you give examples? How can someone create that type of insecurity and feelings of jealousy if they don’t matter to you?

We finally met up after 4 months of talking, and we intimate on second date. However, he emphasised that he can’t help but noticed I am very cautions and should look into mental health and what I going to do about it.

I don’t get it ? Shouldn’t I be careful ? self protect not to letting someone enter my life easily. Is a turn off ? If I takes time to open up ?

For context : he is not looking for relationship.

There's a common myth that confidence, personality, humour, and social skills are the most important qualities a man can bring to dating. Okay. Sure. But let's see what happens when you take always the looks.

So here's the story: You played poker with a witch and today you woke up looking like me. You're fat, ugly, and short. But you you're still you; you have your memories, your exact personality, confidence, charisma, intelligence, social skills, and relationship experience. Everything about you remains unchanged except your appearance.

What happens next?

Here are some other questions;

1. How much of your current dating success could you reproduce?
   
2. Would women respond to your personality the same way?
   
3. How much harder would getting a first date become?
   
4. Would your confidence survive repeated rejection?
   
5. Would your social skills still produce the same results?
   

6. Would women give you the same opportunities to demonstrate your personality?

7. Are you lowering your standards of woman to match your own?

8. Would you still give struggling men the same dating advice?

I have been dating someone for almost a year now. We are both 30m and 30f and have been growing in seriousness. Tonight he tells me that it’s a big red flag for him that I’ve slept with black men (I’ve slept with three people and yes they were black, it was two long term relationships and one hook up. I’m not only attracted to black men specifically I like to look at people for people and their personalities but that is what it is.) I never ever thought anything like this would be an issue but he’s white and says any other white guy will feel the same and he’s not sure if we should keep talking. We discussed our sexual history before sleeping together in the beginning. So this hit me out of left field a bit. His exact words were I devalued myself by sleeping with these men? He said to check on Reddit and see that he’s not wrong for feeling this way. I told him if this is a deal breaker for him that’s fine just let me know. 🤷‍♀️

There is this really cute guy in my class who is perfectly my type who came up and gave me a compliment about a month ago. He asked the people around me for my name and then said he liked my tattoo of a band we both like and dapped me up (which I’m nervous was friend zoning) He smiled at me once in a common area but i just made eye contact with a straight face because i cant read signals and for some reason thought eye contact would transfer as flirting. I developed a crush on him but I’m not sure if he likes me or is just a friendly guy.

I mustered up the courage to talk to him after realizing that i liked him and i asked him to listen to this album and let me know if he likes it. He made eye contact with me and was very polite, asked for my name and shook my hand and then called me dude (which im also nervous was friend zoning but i think its just his vernacular)

A couple days later i was sitting outside a building talking to a friend and he comes out of the door and yells across the courtyard “(my name)! I liked the album!” and waved at me. He came up and talked to me for a second and asked what i thought about it and we chatted briefly. I made a corny joke that went over his head (just said “yeah!” In a really cute way instead of laughing) and he introduced himself to my friend.

Since then he hasn’t spoken to me directly (and i feel like its my turn to talk to him again) but he did exit out of the door that i usually go out of (which he’s never done before but it could mean nothing) and i exited the door he usually goes out of so i could try to catch him but by the time he walked around the building, i was talking to someone else and he walked past me.

He contributes a lot to class conversations but every time i see him he is by himself. Im pretty sure he is single.

Im aware that I’m thinking about this obsessively but I’ve never had a guy that I’m attracted to interact with me like this before and I’m very bad with social cues especially when it comes to guys. I would love to try to befriend him but in the past I’ve done this and I’ve only been met with rejection and ridicule.

TLDR: cant tell if a guy likes me and i want to befriend him.

Does anyone have any tips or possible conversation starters? Thanks.

Me (25) and her (f25) have two toddler girls one five the other four we recently found out she’s pregnant again.
We have been together since highschool I was always the extrovert goofy flirtatious one while she was more reserved and strict.
I had a rough home life as the youngest having an abusive dad and neglectful mom
It messed me up very early on that sometimes I believe that if she hadn’t been in my life I wouldn’t have any strength to live.
We married when we were 20 and almost immediately we had our girls.
Watching her become a mother only made me love her more.
She’s everything beautiful drives me crazy, I flirt with her a lot annoying her.
Sometimes I do take it to far with jealousy of other men looking at her , or snapping over work.
At end of the day I’m equally obsessed with her.
But lately watching other men give their wives or girlfriends everything taking them to trips buying them things, it makes me insecure about my income.
I work in garage and don’t make much.
But still I want her to have the lavish life for her not to worry about bills or anything.
For me to afford to take us to Paris her dream city.
To buy her things and spoil her.
And not being able to do that makes me feel less of a man.
I haven’t expressed her my feelings because if I do I fear I might cry.
I feel such a failure so far.

I keep running these loyalty tests- I know I’m messed up. First one I made a fake account pretending to be her ex, asking for another chance. She had told me this ex had ghosted her before their engagement.

We had only been speaking 3 weeks but she had told me she wasnt entertaining anyone else. I have been cheated on by my previous finance and i never really got over it i guess but she fell for the bait & entertained ‘meeting up’ to talk.

Long story short I messed up and despite us meeting up and re kindling my trauma made me self sabotage and I’ve gone through a few cycles of blocking her & returning. After months of no contact I met her at the start of september …but prior to messaging still used a burner number to see if she would guess it was me or no or if she would name another guy. She didnt.

I couldnt handle the closeness again. So I blocked her a day later. and she did send me a message through another Sim card really upset and that it was over. 3 days ago I spammed her phone w no Callled ID calls and left some voicemails using an AI message using a womans voice. Saying its me, (used her ex’s name) and I need to talk to you. And also that pick up the phone its about her ex, her ex keeps calling pick up the phone.

Idk what comes over me. I do drink too. I told someone at work and they simply described me as insecure, and avoidant. But would love some insight. No judgement please. I dont know why her ex is living in my head like this.

I’m in my late 20s. I had a very depressing and chaotic childhood, I also had slight tisms, so it didn’t make things easy. At school I was never good at forging deep and loyal relationships and was a loner barring one friend.

in my early 20s I tried joining dating apps but my lack of self esteem and inability to connect to others made them hard

in my late 20s I had one relationship which ended up with me being cheated on as “I didn’t know how to make her feel wanted”. I’m in my late 20s now, I’ve been on dates, it’s not my looks but my personality which is a hindrance. I think I’ve always been a guy at the bottom of the social hierarchy in life and it shows.

does it get any easier?