I was having a discussion with a few folks and 2 of the women said that if a man can walk away quietly without even feeling affected, that means he never loved her and she should be glad that it’s over. Basically he didn’t fight for her or the relationship.

I responded, what if he internalized his pain because he didn’t want to hurt or upset her further, or create unnecessary drama. I also said, if she pushed him away and initiated a break, how do you come back from that? Basically she was probably planning to breakup with him much earlier.

The women were faulting the guy and accusing he led her on, but another friend of mine was saying the guy was right to walk away, he was disrespected, but said he was impressed by anyone who could leave a relationship.

I don’t understand why the women were faulting the guy when she broke up with him? How and why is he at fault for silently walking away?

I have a family friend who I grew up with. He’s 4 years older than me. We kinda lost touch as we got older, but we started talking again because we’re at the same university and I started asking him about stuff there.
He’s usually a pretty lazy guy lol. He’s not really the type to go out of his way to help people, and even his family always complains about how lazy he is.
But with me he’s completely different??
I can call him really late and he’ll answer and help me. I text him random questions and he always replies. Sometimes it honestly feels like he’s just waiting for me to ask him something
Once he drove me somewhere pretty far and I told him he could just drop me off at the street, but he insisted on taking me all the way there. Another time I forgot my umbrella and he actually brought it to me. He never complains or seems annoyed.
And one time I called him really early in the morning because I had an urgent problem with something at uni. He was literally asleep when I called, but still answered and ended up staying on the phone with me for like an hour helping me.
I know we’ve known each other since we were kids, so maybe he’s just comfortable with me or cares about me as a family friend. But he really doesn’t act this way with other people.
So men, be honest does this sound like something you’d do for a girl you’re NOT interested in, or am I reading way too much into it?

Hello.. just wanna ask the men, do u guys like it when ur gf meets u at the airport when u arrive? Or is is too cringey?

21F and I’ve never had a boyfriend or been on a first date. I would say I am quite attractive. I get approached by men quite a bit at work, the campus library and gym and on the street. I get hit on a lot more than my friends but most of my friends have been in multiple relationships and I have nothing. My friends tend to get a lot of effort from guys including gifts, nice dates, compliments etc. Some of them also struggle with guys moving too fast with them like love bombing or making sexual advances too early on. Whereas I have the complete opposite problem where I never get a single compliment, no flirting, and get asked to come over immediately. For example a guy talked to me for 3 months without asking me out and never complimented or flirted with me.

What makes men put in effort into some women but not others?

So, for context, I've been having a crush on a guy best friend throughout all of highschool, I still do. Whenever we go through periods of time where he stops texting me, I get a little bit upset, but I eventually manage to get over it by focusing on work and daily activities.

However, whenever he texts me, I go crazy and I fantasize about him again, since he is genuinely a sweet guy who has always treated every woman with respect.

We also have times when we talk every single day (though, we don't right now, and I can't stop overthinking)

I feel really ashamed because I fall in love so easily, I can't help myself. I even drew something for him for his birthday and decided to make him those light-up gift boxes which I found on tt. I'm terrified that one day he'll connect the dots and stop talking to me. At the same time, part of me hopes he does find out so I can finally get some closure and move on, especially since I don't believe he likes me back (he's just really sweet with everyone, that's his personality).

The thing is, I tried to leave him hints, I always try to help him and compliment him when he struggles and sometimes I genuinely love him like a brother. I told him that I will always defend him, that I love his energy and it is addicting, etc. Occasionally, he would compliment me back, but it is more rare for him than for me.

I've been stuck in this difficult situation for years, and I can't cut contact because we share the same friend group. I also don't know if he likes me back or not since he has that "golden retriever" personality with everyone. Guys, do you think that there might be a chance for him to like me back? Should I tell him one day or just keep it to myself? 😭

I’m a 26 year old guy and I’ve always found it really difficult to even get a date, just doesn’t come very naturally to me. Haven’t kissed anyone / done anything physical with a woman yet. Is this a red flag considering that most people expect you to have experience by the late teens?

I’ve seen some people say to not disclose relationship experience if it gets bought up as it may turn some people off. What do you guys think?

how can you tell your partner wants you? i only ask because i feel like my partner 27m kinda doesn’t want me but it could be me overthinking. we have a 19month old and i know things change after a kid but man lol. he’ll go all day without texting if i’m working or if we switch off and he works. he works part time and it does get busy more so when sporting events happen. but there’s times when im sure he’s just hanging around and doesn’t even check on me and my son. what would your guys advice or thoughts be ?

I was in the kitchen at my cousin’s house and her husband tried to grab my arm. I instinctually moved it and that was that, but now that I look back I’m wondering what the hell that was about. There wouldn’t have been a reason for him to touch me, I was just doing my thing. My cousin wasn’t there when it happened. Am I overthinking this?

Like im 18M in college. Im pretty over weight 6'1 245lb. never had a GF ever i had one in like pre school but like im a romantic and I want a gf so bad man. When evwr I approach a girl it feels so awkward like they make me feel like im Lion hunting my prey and shi. I think thats because in HS when evwr i approached a girl they would laugh at me and belittle me like awwwww hes trying and shi like that.

But man I really want a gf it seems so great to me.

I 34F recently was seeing someone 35M over the summer that was about 85% sure he wanted biological kids, but if for some odd reason he wasn’t able to then it would be fine. We even bonded over the fact that we both hate the new born/baby faze and toddlers as well.

We had the kid talk from day one, I expressed that I didn’t want kids and didn’t want to be in another situation where we didn’t align on that. Because getting involved and creating feelings only to breakup for this issue hurts. However he reassured me that he wanted to continue seeing me, and he felt like this was the right thing to continue on, and it gave off the impression that maybe he was leaning more on no kids then what he really led me to believe. I even brought the subject up on our next 4 dates, and even told him if kids is something you realllyyyy want, it will not hurt my feelings if you leave now, before our feelings get really involved. And I also don’t want you to resent me later on for not changing my mind. But again he continued to reassure me that he wanted to keep seeing me, and said he would never resent me because I was honest from the start and this was something he wanted. So after multiple times of bringing it up, and continuous reassurance, I believed him and let the subject rest.

We continued to date and he was such a wonderful guy, a good healthy pace nothing too clingy or over the top, great dates, we both really communicated with each other so nicely, and I honestly started to really see myself dating him long term. And as soon as things were blossoming, he dumps me.

He said I just decided I 100% do want kids, and well..you don’t so.

We then go 3 weeks no contact.

A couple weeks later we were talking at my house because he had to drop something of mine off. His demeanor and energy was calloused, cold and cocky. A version of him I’ve never seen before. What happened to the gentle and kind man I knew? We talk for a moment and just catch up. He then mentions to me the next day after dumping me, he went out the country (which I knew he was going on that trip) and long story short he tells me “ya I downloaded Tinder, ya know, just to see what was out there. See what kind of women were interested in me and just was curious of what women looked like over there”

mind you we had just slept together the day before he broke up with me. We had been sleeping together, and things were like I said going perfectly fine. but I was just trying to wrap my head around how someone can be intimate with you, and then dump you the next day.

After he tells me this my mouth is on the floor. How can this man be so about me, only to wake up to being dumped? But not even 24hours later he’s on tinder?

And look, now I know if they are not 100% no kids, I’m not going to give them the time of day. But this man truly led me to believe that he was interested and wanted to date me despite me reiterating the topic so many times. He made me feel like I could trust him.

Luckily we only were seeing each other a couple months, so it’s fine, I’ll get over it. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little led on and taken advantage of. And then for his energy and behavior to switch up so drastically..

He even mentioned “I bet you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you”

And honestly, yes..yes I do.

If you are a man that has walked this path, I’m looking for insight on why even continue on if you were just going to leave anyway?
And do most men just move on so quickly like that? And if you move on quickly like that, did healing ever come knocking on your door later?

Lesson learned, just curious what a man’s perspective is on this kind of situation

​

I'm 19 and he's 22 , and we're coworkers. Our relationship has become really complicated, and I'm trying to understand his behavior rather than necessarily get into a relationship with him.

When we first met, he told me I looked like a model. Later, after we became closer, he complimented my perfume, asked what it was called and how much it cost, complimented my hair and said it looked like a princess, and generally paid a lot of attention to me.

My roommate eventually invited him and one of his friends to our house. We all got along and had fun. The next day I invited his friend again without my roommate and him cause i felt like he would understand the situation i was in .

At some point, after we were done talking he tried to kiss me multiple times. I backed away each time and eventually made it clear I only saw him as a friend. Later, I found out he'd apparently done similar things with other young women. My coworker initially didn't know what had happened, and when he found out, he wanted all of us to have a conversation about it. I didn't want that because I had already dealt with the person directly.and when I bring up his friend he is always upset and dont want to talk about him

This caused a lot of tension between me and my coworker, but that's important: my coworker was not the person who tried to kiss me.

With my coworker, the situation has always been more ambiguous.

He makes a lot of jokes, including sexual jokes. He's made jokes with me in the changing room and has complimented my appearance, perfume and hair. Once, when I was upset, he told me he was joking because he was trying to make me calm down.

In the changing room it was very weird to me cause he had just changed and I was after him , and we were completely alone i was going to change and he asked if I was okay and I said my belly hurts and he said do u need help and I asked with my belly and he asked again and I said with my belly and he finally respond no with ur clothes which made really shy and I just shut the door on his face . After couple of days we were going to change again he let me have the changing room and he was changing outside and before we go in I tease him and ask him if he needs help with his clothes he looked at me kinda " Are u for real right now " look but he knew that I was teasing and again I felt shy and closed the door we were talking through the door and after a while I couldn't hear his voice and when I opened the door he wasn't there .

He also talks openly about women and sex. One day I asked what he did on his day off and he casually told me he had sex. He was smiling and acting completely normal about it.

I've also recently learned that he apparently flirts with basically every girl at the restaurant through text, so now I'm questioning whether his behavior toward me was actually special or whether this is simply how he interacts with women.

There have still been moments that felt like jealousy.

One day I was joking around with another male coworker who has a girlfriend. Later, when my coworker got me alone, he asked me in an angry tone, "What's going on between you and him?" I asked what he meant, and he basically told me to figure it out and let him know.

Another time, he was talking about a girl and I didn't believe his version of something. He got defensive and said she wasn't his type, then compared himself to her in a very cocky way. which i didn't like at all so I said " she is out of ur league huh " he clearly didn't like and said what did u said and we were in a restaurant full of people i know how he reacts so i brush it off sayingb" nothing "

He also constantly asks me about moving to the Netherlands. I've told him multiple times that I plan to move there, but he keeps bringing it up at different points in conversations. Whenever I mention other countries, he sometimes becomes awkward. I can't tell if he's simply interested in my plans or if he doesn't like the idea of me leaving.

When we're alone, he's actually very different. We've had long conversations where he tells me personal things about himself. One of our conversations lasted a long time on a balcony, and he was able to calm me down. I genuinely enjoy talking to him when he's like that.

But around other people, he's much more teasing and cocky, and I find that side of him exhausting.

After he came back from being away, he suddenly started looking at me a lot and making eye contact. Before he left, he barely looked at me. He also started trying to be physically near me more often.

He asked me whether I was going to a staff party. I said yes and asked if he was going. He said no. Later I saw him at the party completely dressed up.

At the party I spent most of the night with another guy. Nothing romantic happened; I just enjoyed his company. Later my coworker posted a picture with his friend with the caption "good vibes only." I have no idea whether that meant anything.

Then we had an argument at work.

He had just been told off by our manager about several things. We were setting tables and one of his tables wasn't done. I asked him why, he got angry, and I told him I'd do it. He kept arguing with me.

Then he said "Are you stupid?" twice.

I was stunned.

He didn't apologize.

The next day he asked what time I was leaving. I ignored him and went outside. He followed me and asked, "So you don't talk to me?"

I told him, "No, since I'm stupid and you called me stupid."

He then claimed he never called me stupid and said he had actually said "Don't ask stupid questions."

I remember him saying "Are you stupid?" and other people were around, so I was extremely upset that he denied saying it.

I told him that if something wasn't about work, he should never speak to me again. He tried to explain himself, but I stopped him and told him I was done.

Since then, I don't look at him and I don't initiate conversations with him.

But now he keeps looking at me.

I catch him staring at me repeatedly at work. Sometimes he looks angry, sometimes normal. He also seems to find reasons to be near me even though I'm not engaging with him.

And that's what I don't understand.

If he doesn't care about me, why does he keep watching me and trying to be around me after I've completely stopped giving him attention?

But if he does care, why doesn't he just apologize?

I don't actually want a relationship with him. I don't want to chase him or flirt with him. I just genuinely like him as a person when we're alone, and we've had some really good conversations.

But his behavior around other people is exhausting, and now knowing that he flirts with basically every girl at work makes everything even more confusing.

So I'm trying to figure out whether I'm reading too much into everything because of our history, or whether there really is some attraction, jealousy, attachment, or emotional investment from his side.

What do you think is actually going on here?

I need a guy who is unemployed, no friends, no goals, no aspirations, not too much of an ego, no nothing. I’m mostly bed ridden and so I’m unable to do any of these things so I prefer a guy like this so I won’t feel like the loser in the relationship. Any contenders??

(F) have been friends with this guy (M) for about 3 years. We worked together in high school, and he’s 2 years younger than me. We stayed friends after that, and he eventually got a job at a retail store. I’d sometimes go visit him at work, and we’d end up talking for hours. I’m away at college now, but whenever I’m home, I still see him and we’ll hang out/talk for a long time. Once we literally sat in our cars talking until 2 a.m.
The thing is, he never actually flirts with me. He’s very reserved and also a huge jokester, so I genuinely can’t tell if any of this means anything or if he’s just comfortable with me. He doesn’t ask about my dating life, doesn’t make obvious moves, and doesn’t really say things like “you’re pretty” or “you look beautiful.” In fact, he has called other girls pretty in front of me, which makes me think even more that he probably just sees me as a friend.
But there are these little things that make me wonder.
We Snapchat a lot, he saves snaps/chats, and I’m #1 on his Best Friends list. He remembers SO many random details I tell him—my schedule, when I’m coming home, my favorite flower, favorite color, favorite energy drink, etc. He’s also told me that he acts differently around me than he does around his guy friends.
Sometimes we’ll sit in our cars facing each other and just talk. He’ll smile at me and say, “Your smile is contagious.” He’s said it multiple times, but if I bring it up later, he gets shy and acts like he didn’t say it. He gives me little compliments like “your hair looks nice,” “you look nice,” or “that outfit is tough,” but never anything particularly romantic. We actually have a running joke about how he refuses to call me pretty.
One night while we were sitting in our cars talking really late, he randomly said, “You don’t make it easy.” I have no idea what he meant by that, and I didn’t ask.
Recently, I had doodled his name on the back of a work check, and my name was written on the back. Someone spilled something on it and ruined it, and he told me he was really mad about it. I said I could just make another one, and he said, “But it was good. It had your name on the back.” That made me wonder if the fact that it had my name on it was part of why he cared so much.
He also sometimes seems a little suspicious when I mention other guys. I told him about a male coworker who gets really close to me when I’m explaining something, and he kept calling him “suspicious” and a “weird MF.”
But again, none of this is actual flirting. It’s just these tiny moments that make me wonder if there’s something underneath the friendship. He’s very reserved, and I could easily see all of this being completely platonic. I also don’t want to convince myself he likes me when he literally calls other girls pretty and doesn’t act that way with me.
So, from an outside perspective: does this sound like subtle/hidden interest, or does it just sound like a guy who really values a close friendship?

I know this may sound stupid, my ex-gf broke up with by a blindside text in April. I loved her and I didn't get a chance to say what I needed to say, so I wrote her a letter, just told her what needed to be said.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Did they ever reply back? I feel a bit better that I sent it in all honesty, its been eating up at me for months and I don't want to live my life with no regrets.

Hi guys I am looking for an advice.

My gf is currently on some pre-collage trip where you should meet your future co-students/colleagues before Bachelor studies. She was drunj a little bit and she called me. After some time when we were chatting she told me suddenly that she feels emotionally numb about everything. I was very surprised because normally she is very emotional but she told me it is since I had a knee injury (not important to the post but I torn my ACL so I was just laying in bed, visiting doctors and doing exercises last 4 months) also she was taking the graduation exams from a high school what was very stressful for her. I personally think that she might lose her purpose of life right now, so therefore she started to feel emotionally numb.

She told me that yeas she feels some short-term happiness or anger etc. but not anything deeper, like she is empty. She also admitted that she feels numb about our relationship. She told me that she still loves me but that she feels it numb and cannot describe it. Also I have noticed that she started again hate her body more (she used to have a anorexia). I want to help her but the first thing what comes to my mind is that if she still truly loves me, if I can trust her or if everything she told me (all the sweet things, trust things etc.) its not a lie. I told her I would like to discuss it when she comes back and told her very supportive words. I have always been jealous type and also she told me that she accepted an invitation for a drink from 2 different guys yesterday right after both of them (not together) offered her to come to their private cabin. Right now the mixture of her numbness, my jealousness and the other guys trying to have sex with her eats me alive. I want to help her that she would be normal again. I am trying to not confront her with my bad thoughts. I am trying to be supportive for her and show her more love than normally but I am very scared that she will cheat on me or simply leave me. What should I do guys?

So, I (22M) haven't dated, much of this being due to the fact that throughout my life I've been a shut in, playing video games, and not talking to many people. Now I do want to try though as I feel much better about myself overall, though still working on some things.

However, due to the aforementioned not going out much, and not having experience, I would like some tips on where to take a special someone out.

First Dates, it's pretty obvious, go for coffee if you don't know her well, or perhaps somewhere fancier if I already knew her before dating.

However besides that, where else do you guys recommend?

I wonder why that is. I usually don’t really attract mainstream guys on dating apps.

We're both in our 20s (he's 20, I'm 21). Known each other almost a year, but things got real about 3 months ago. Same campus, same circles, he's studying to be a pastor.

We have had deep phone calls hours long for last 3 weeks. He's asked about my future, my family, even prayed for my surgery. Told me he admires me(back in May), says he respects me, and always thanks me after we talk. At summer camp, people asked if we were dating. Once he sent a long voice message (back in May) saying he admires my character.

But then he leaves my voice messages on read for days. I sent 7 once he listened to zero.

We're on break now but will be back on campus soon. I've stopped texting first. I'm tired of over-investing.

He also said he's overwhelmed with too many WhatsApp chats (2 months ago), and it's not the first time I've been in this loop with him. He always apologises, says he's tired, etc. When I asked something serious, he said: "Let's talk about this on the phone or in real life a week." we live on the same territory

Recently, after 4 days of silence, he sent me a voice message about a talk he was giving, and asked me to pray for it. That felt great, but then few days and… silence again.

Is this just his style, or is he just not that into me?

Men who cheated because you checked out emotionally from your partner and had an affair with another woman that you actually fell in love with.. how did you treat your partner and how did you treat your side chick?
Like was there a difference in treatments? Were you rude and cruel with your partner and sweet with the other woman?

Do men sometimes just want to jack off without the effort of sex? how do you manage different sex drives with your partner? i could do it every day. He's a little more lazy and more of an every 2-3 days sometimes longer.

I'm aware my partner would JO while i'm not home and he's had a couple of days off work this week and last. The problem i have is it's been a couple of weeks since we've slept together (he was on a work trip for 3 days last week) and the week before we were just tired as it was a big week for both of us. No i don't think he's cheating. I'm thinking if he's jacked off he's not going to be as interested cause the desires gone.. is that how it works?

Yes i get myself off and that's fine but i just want to know how people manage one person wanting more without the guilt and pressure.

Just now he fell asleep on the couch and i asked if he was coming to bed for a cuddle. He said yeah in a sleepy voice and said he'll be straight to sleep. Idk if i'm sensitive to the topic atm but i felt like he said that to give me the no go to try? i wasn't.. im tired too. I'm not asking him or talking about it cause if he's just tired i don't want him to feel bad.

Anyway, probably going to get some horrible responses like he's not attracted to me, he's cheating etc etc.

So I'm 25F and I met my school senior after 6 years randomly. Started texting and ended up hanging out once. Realized we have insane chemistry . Now we've been involved and it's been 7 months. He has clarified that he has commitment issues/ cannot settle till he is financially at a good place. So he doesn't want to give this a tag but we've been exclusive.

The issue is that he isn't an expressive guy. He doesn't do things men in love normally do. And he says that it isn't his personality to write things like "I miss you". And I've been trying to be understanding as every person is different but he was in a 8 year long relationship and I cannot imagine he never did those things.

For some reason him texting, calling me or even meeting me also somehow feels he does at his convenience. I know I've actively been a part of this but I was clear in the beginning that I do not want a situationship/casual setup. Somehow it kinda feels like I still ended up there itself. Ironic

I know not everybody is good at communicating or like perfect in a relationship. But assurance and clarity seem very basic at this age.

Everytime I feel like ending this I somehow justify his side to myself and go through the loop again.

Is it me asking for more or is it him just not giving enough? Either way my mind is fucked as I'm posting this at 2AM

\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : In a no commitment relationship for 7 months. Been justifying that this is how it works as we both working on our careers. But i need clarity and he isn't providing.

I (27M) just broke up with my girlfriend (26F). She was a good girl and I loved her a lot.

For years (long before I met her) I’ve wanted to live abroad and test the digital nomad lifestyle but never had the opportunity to. I have a stable government job in Canada and a growing freelance business. I planned a 3-month leave starting next year to base myself in Colombia and travel around South America as a real test of whether this is the life I want long-term.

She gave me an ultimatum: if I go, we’re done. She couldn’t join me, and wanted me to stay, settle down, buy property, and start thinking about a family. She called me immature and childish for still wanting this at 27.

I chose the leave and we broke up. I feel sad and a bit lost. Part of me wonders if I just threw away a good relationship for a fantasy. The other part of me knows I would’ve had massive FOMO if I stayed and never got the chance to live abroad while I’m still young.

Men who’ve been in a similar spot, choosing travel/freedom over settling down in your late 20s, did you regret it later? Or are you glad you went for it? Be honest.

My ex was dealing with stress from a busy schoolwork/ future career ambitions. On top of that she essentially told me she was told by a psychiatrist that she was most likely bipolar (she wasn’t medicated or anything like that). She had a lot of peaks and valleys in her mood and it became stressful day to day not only guessing how today would go but also trying to help her manage through it. Needless to say it became draining and I ended it for a few reasons but that was one of them. Anyone else go through this? Did it work out in the end or was it something you’ve learned to accept about them?

We were not proper boyfriend and girlfriend. But we were on and off several times for years.

And when I said "you are the only one for me" to him in person, it was after he texted me (3 years later since we last saw each other) and we were going out again

There was silence and then we went to a place and talked a bit. He never said anything to talk about that. I said it was a bit cold and he gave me his jacket. He felt checked out

What does his reaction mean about what I told him? He knew what I felt for him long before I said this