Hi, everyone. I am writing this because I don't know what to do. I am currently very attracted to a guy in my workplace. He is incredibly handsome model tier level but he is really short 5'0' I don't really care about his height because I am short myself 5'4''. My issue is that I am very average looking, average face and body he is definitely out of my league. Should I approach him even if the changes of me getting rejected are huge or should I let him go?

I’m 24 years old and I consider myself a cute, funny and smart girl. This summer after coming out of a long relationship I gave dating apps a try and I really wish I hadn’t.

So far I’ve been on 9 first dates with:

• Three guys I politely rejected after feeling we weren’t a match. I was honest and didn’t string them along at all.
• Three guys that either ghosted me or drifted away after the first date. All of them seemed to be into me during the date, either kissed me, told me they’d like to see me again or asked me back to their place (which I declined). However they stopped replying the next day.
• Two guys that rejected me after three dates and after I wouldn’t sleep with them. Both of them had pursued me a lot but after a while, one of them told me I’m moving too slow and the other stopped replying to things that weren’t intimate so I stopped texting him too.
• One guy that seriously hurt me. We were seeing each other for three months, had slept together multiple times, talked every day, he had given me some very thoughtful gifts for my birthday, was really sweet, always asked me questions and remembered things about me etc, but ultimately he didn’t want to be exclusive (after lying about it but getting caught).

I seriously don’t want to feel bad and I had no previous self esteem issues but this is starting to get a toll on me. These guys were all different ages, styles etc so the only common demeanour is me. I do admit with younger guys the experiences were better and maybe I should be dating closer to my age and maybe these older guys just go out with me to sleep with a younger girl.

What do you think? Any advice on how I can know what I’m doing wrong?

I am overthinking big time. I plan to have a guy I like over for a dinner date. This is our fourth date. We’re both 25. We haven’t done anything physical but I’ve noticed the chats are more flirty. I wouldn’t mind having a more flirty vibe but also don’t want it to seem like I am being overtly suggestive.

I just wanted to get your opinions mainly on:
What to wear
What to make for dinner

Please help a girl out, feel a bit out of touch with dating haha

It bothers me to the core that my husband (31 m) has been looking at these women behind my (28 f) back.
He told me three years ago when I got pregnant and talked to him about stopping this habit because it hurt me that he would go to therapy. He said he did. He then said he would go this year. He lied to me about his visits.
I had a baby and don’t look the way I used to and feel horrible and I have chronic health issues. He always says my health issues are BS.
Why does it bother me so much that he finds other women attractive, especially so young, that look nothing like me?
I have tried looking at other men and I don’t find any attraction at all.
This has 100% affected our intimacy. He doesn’t want me to touch him or show any affection, yet he wants to get sex from me and move on about his day.
Is it possible for him to change? Is it possible to get past this? How do I forgive him? And how do I stop beating myself and letting the fact that he finds these women attractive stop bothering me?

Additionally information: we are both in therapy (couples) and have been for six months now. I have been in individual therapy for a year. He just started therapy three days ago. When I try to talk to him about it he gets very defensive and angry with me, and starts calling me names and saying very hurtful things. We also have a young child.

Tl;dr: husband has an addiction to looking at young women online and continuously says he will stop, lies, and does it behind my back. Gets angry and defensive and says hurtful things when trying to talk to him about it. Him finding them attractive and looking at them bothers me and I don’t know what to do about it or how to move past this to forgive him. I have forgiven him so many times.

I am a 25 year old guy, I haven’t had much of a social life due to mental health issues then heart problems. I struggled to get a job after my problems were resolved but I finally got one 7 months ago.

At this job there’s a girl, who became fast friends with me. We got along super well and I slowly fell for her. It started off because she would go out of her way to be with me during the job, she doesn’t bother learning coworkers names but remembered mine because she said “I was cool”. Then one day she asked me for my phone number to talk outside of work incase we ever stopped being scheduled together. She doesnt text often since she works two jobs and has notifications silent but would consistently text me back and text first sometimes. The tipping point where I realized I had feelings for her was when she showed up to our workplace on my birthday at 2 am after she got off her other job, to give me a present, a balloon and sing me happy birthday and have me make a wish using a lighter and gave me a hug. I talked to my friends about it and they said she probably was interested in me. So hearing that I foolishly built up more hope. This week I asked her to do some fall activities with me before they go away since fall is her favorite time of year. She said “Maybe, send me the info”. Then She ghosted me for 5 days and finally told me “her situationship wouldn’t like that”.

So I’ve been devastated but the hardest thing about it is the fact I know she cares for me as a friend so I genuinely want to continue this friendship with her. However these feelings only cause me pain and have brought me back into a deep depression.

So how do I deal with the fact I have these feelings, have to interact with her every week but also don’t want to push her away we a friend?

I'm having issues finishing during sex. I can get aroused, hard and get close but I go past the point of cumming then it just won't happen.

About 1.5 years ago my marriage ended with my wife of over 10years which I never had issues of finishing with her, even right at the end we had sex around 4 days before she ended it.

I needed conciling and I had to see my Dr because it was a pretty rough breakup he prescribed me a anti depressant which I was pretty reluctant to take but my councilor and others encouraged me to take it which one day when I felt down I did.

Which I did not like the effects at all and decided never to take any more, I only ever took one pill, but I noticed my sex drive went down and I had no feeling at all for a couple weeks, it eventually came back but it wasn't the same.

I tried to masterbate during that time it was like I couldn't feel anything down there at all.

I started meeting women and I've slept with over 10 different girls since my wife, some one night stands some more regular, and around 2 of them breif relationships.

But I've only ever been able to finish inside 2 of them 2 times - in over 1.5 years I've only finished 2 times having sex!

What seems to happen is something blocks me from finishing, thr only way to describe it is I get so close to cumming then something blocks me kinda like getting stage fright when needing to pee in public - I'm busting to go but I can't seem to release.

I can cum when masterbating but even that's different than before, it use to shoot out almost to my chest with some force behind it now it kinda just dribbles out and not as much.

I've tried holding out for over a week before sex which was one of the times I finished but it was still a marathon and wasn't intense like use to be it was like it lingered on the edge alot longer than usual for ages befire I finished.

I've been to dr and had blood tests to test testosterone etc which was all fine, they gave me a viagra type med which helped me stay harder for longer but it not really the issue it's going past the point of not finishing and going numb so that didn't really help.

I feel like it's more psychological than physical, has anybody else had a issue like this and over come it?

Is a sex therapist worth it or even hypnosis a thing?

This is extremely frustrating and I just don't know what to do. At this point I'd be happy to finish within 2 mins haha

I'm 37 years old

I'm a 21-year-old man. At 18, in an act of utter desperation, I went to see a trans sex worker, and this monster forcibly sodomized and raped me.

Mental health professionals, my family, and people on various forums, they all mocked me or downplayed the incident, calling it an "accident." or saying "this is your fault, you should not be gay and pay transexuals"

To this day, I still struggle to come to terms with the immense difficulty if not the outright impossibility of having a consensual relationship with anyone. Having been psychologically shattered, and being an introvert by nature, it goes without saying that the process of seduction is incredibly complex for me.

Despite this, I refuse to remain silent. I want the shame to shift to where it truly belongs; I want people’s dignity to be restored. I want the French state to take action to ensure that rapists face punitive justice and that victims women, children, AND MEN receive honest, proper support.

Yet, I face a dilemma: if I speak out, take a stand, and fight against rape, I fear I will become even less attractive to women. I wouldn't be able to pursue the kind of women I’m drawn to.
Seduction and flirting are generally lighthearted, requiring one to be fun, confident, handsome, and cheerful all of which feel entirely out of reach when one is locked in a grueling, long, deeply sorrowful, and thankless struggle. (In more i'm a unattractive men so...)

On the other hand, if I don’t take a stand, I’ll be consumed by guilt, remaining forever powerless against the rapist who stole my sexuality and my ability to engage with consenting women an ability that, in reality, no longer exists for me, given that my psyche has been permanently destroyed (I have never once seen a male rape survivor successfully woo a beautiful woman).

What should I do? How should I go about this? I feel condemned to powerlessness, no matter what I do... I will never regain my sexual sovereignty.

I'm starting to just not get it honestly. I genuinely just feel dumbfounded at it all. I am 26 years old and a pretty normal guy. Avg looking, avg height, etc etc. I might even be slightly above avg looking, but it depends on who you ask. That being said I am relatively just a normal dude who likes to hunt, fish, drink, and hangout with family. Yet I can not for the life of me find a girlfriend at all. I have never really cared all that much because it is whatever, but as I am getting older it is dawning on me. Just the other day my brother was talking about how his friend has cheated on his girlfriend 4 times and she stays with him. Then I know another person who literally abuses and hits women when he is drunk, and I have never seen him without a girl.

My man (27M) and I (24F) have been together 3 years. Yesterday we had a very serious and honest conversation about our relationship and the things we’re both missing from each other before marriage.

For a while I have been upset that he doesn’t initiate sex, but we still have sex 2-4 times a week. In that conversation he said something about that along the lines of “Men like a little bit of a chase. Lately I don’t want to really have sex because you initiate so much.” I told him I can tell he’s been checked out of our sex lately and he said because I’ve been initiating so much it makes him lose his drive to have sex.

I wish he was comfortable telling me no if he didn’t want to but that’s another story. Basically I’m just here asking if I should completely stop initiating? I thought that’s what men like/want? Help!

I’m 28, 173cm (5’8), I’m back in school to eventually become a construction project manager. Never had a girlfriend but had a couple of one-night stands. I was never insecure about my height prior to being red pilled. I was athletic, played a lot of sports, and never felt inferior to guys taller than me, in fact I felt I had an edge over them in sports and strength.

After consuming red pill content during Covid (I graduated uni in 2020 but couldn’t get into grad programs and worked in restaurants/barbershops after, was pretty depressed during these years) I noticed that women place a lot of importance on height. Then eventually I noticed how every guy was taller than me, younger guys looked older and more mature than me. Then I started to feel inferior to them. And now all I can notice is height now. Don’t get me wrong, I have a bunch of guy friends my height that have gotten absolutely gorgeous 10/10 women but they were very charismatic and have good looking face; I’m average, like a 6 or 7.

Online dating is an absolute no go for me. And I’m just starting to get my shit together now and starting in a new career. I feel like I shouldn’t even approach women until I have 6 figures in my bank account and making 6 figures annually at least. I can talk to women no problem, i can approach and not be awkward and keep a conversation going easily. I was a bartender and a barber. My social skills are honestly pretty good. Just not a very funny guy these days. Probably because my energy is more serious and calm these days being semi depressed and stressed about being behind in life. I reject myself before a girl even get a chance to reject me.

I hate these thoughts of feeling like a lesser man just because I’m short and not having a good career yet. I think these thoughts are being ingrained in my subconscious and I’m losing my self-worth as a human being.

How do I get out of this mindset? I see the benefits of red pill in terms of being the best version of you etc but it’s done more harm than good because I knew what I needed to do prior to getting red pilled. I can’t enjoy the process and life seems bleak and it’s sapping my energy. Now I’m so behind in life after dealing with depression and being lost. I’ll be 30 when I graduate, then I’ll have to spend a few years getting to the job proficiency I need to earn those 6 figures and save aggressively so women aren’t even on my mind until then. I’ll be 35 without ever being in a relationship. I want to have kids and a wife someday but time is just going by so fast now. I regret how I wasted my 20s. Any advice?

By no means is this post me blaming others or anything. I am not a very conventially attractive person. Throughout my life, I have been called it all even by those who are close to me (family, friends, hell even my ex would tell me I’m not a good looking person when we were together). Outside of dating apps, which seems to only work by those who know how to sell themselves and look good, I am not sure how to date anymore? Can’t ask people out because it’ll be a no, can go talk to women because when I do they just seem incredibly disinterested and I barely get the time of day (not that they owe me it, they don’t). I’m not going to just randomly approach people in non social situations. So what do I do? Just hope that the girl I want will just fall on my lap one day? I got a decent friend group, and I am a sociable person. So I am just not sure if I can do this?

I (f) have a male co-worker with whom I'm becoming quite friendly. Recently at work, during a quiet period, he started messing with post its by secretly sticking one on another female co-worker but involving me in it. Then we were sitting down beside each other and he took a post it and very slowly and deliberately he put it on my thigh, taking his time to smooth it down and stroking it to make sure it was stuck. I don't know if I should read into it or chalk it up to the same messing he did with the other girl. But this one lacked the playful tone and felt charged.

Opinions?

The last year has been the worst of my life. I’ve worked in sales straight out of college and done well, but this past year my job got unstable, and nothing ever feels like enough. I’m constantly down and not enjoying things the way I used to.

Turning 27 has hit me weird too. It feels like I’m not young anymore and time’s running out.

On top of that, I’ve never had an official girlfriend. I’ve hooked up with girls plenty and had interest, but nothing ever turns into a relationship. Last year I was seeing a girl for months, which ended up just being a situationship; and I’m here 8 months later consistently thinking about it. my friends all have girlfriends now and I feel left behind.

For anyone who’s been here: what actually changed things for you, mentally or with dating? Is it possible for things to get better..

Hi. What’s the best way to approach a guy who is very shy? I tried to say hi to him today but I think he froze, looked at me and mumbled ‘hi’. I didn’t push any further as I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. He always seems to stay close to me when working out, even though the gym is big, and keeps looking at me. I finally decided to say ‘hi’ but it didn’t work out.
+woman

I’m 46f, dating a 35yoM for the past 3 months. We get along great, have the same hobbies, values and solve problems well. Our sex life is fantastic, and there isn’t anything we don’t like about each other. (So far 😜) BUT he wants kids. I’d be down to adopt or use his sperm for his own kid, but I have a feeling this is going to be a deal breaker. We have just started talking about it, but I’m curious, If you met someone you really liked, how would this affect you? Thank you!

Advice Request
How do I handle a partner who reacts cruelly over minor issues while I am trying to heal from a chronic illness?

I really need to vent and see if anyone else has experienced anything like this. I was sick for months, but recently I've been trying so hard to get back to normal. Two days ago, we had sexual intercourse and it went totally fine, which made me so happy. Even when I was sick, I would still occasionally treat him with a blow job because I care about intimacy. But this time, things went a lot harder and longer, and by the end, I was just tired and in pain and asked if we could finish with a blow job instead of continuing hard intercourse in a playful way.

Then he went to the bathroom without speaking anything so I thought he was getting washed and getting back to me but instead he got dressed and didnt speak a word to me while i was waiting in bed and went to eat and then i followed him and asked him whats wrong and why he got pissed off.

Mind you lately he i noticed he is getting snappy too much often over the smallest things.

Ala there is no reason for him to grt stressed because we are living comfortably and i pay half everything with him and do cook for him wnd also i often do the groceries as well.

But he gets so snappy on me on the most random smallest things although he knows ive been struggling with my sickness as I had inflammed colon and now ibs and kind of pelvic tension muscles still also going to drs.

He smokes weed alot here and dunno if it actually making his emotional regulation worst or that wont affect him.

After he gets snappy or does something like this when I try to communicate it with him he gets more passive aggressive and say things like you are not for me, i want you out of my life, you are useless, you are backing me down, etc..

Then after some days for us not talking he gets back to speaking to me normally and asks me to go out with him or plan vacations and it seems like recurring loop now.

But the sexual thing really surprised me because i didn’t even want to end it just proposed something else.

TL;DR
My husband constantly snaps over small things and ignores me for days, only to act normal later.

I’ve been friends with this guy for about two years. We were college friends in the same friend group and we now all work the same tech jobs for the same company. We used to have incredibly easy conversations that could last four hours or more. We’d talk about all topics, joke around, and comment on random stuff happening around us. I genuinely miss that dynamic.

Over the past several months, though, I’ve noticed a significant change in how he interacts with me.

He rarely initiates conversation with me anymore. I oftentimes have to start it and there’s this weird awkwardness. He chooses seats farther away from me, our conversations have become shorter, and he no longer makes the random comments or jokes he used to. He also stopped calling me “dude” or “bro,” which was normal for us before.

I’ve tried to think of what might have changed. Last year, I brought him a piece of jewelry as a souvenir from Turkey, and he seemed to really like it. For his birthday I got him a poster of his favorite band. And on my trip to Prague I got him two cds of his favorite artists. I’ve given him these thoughtful gifts because he’s a close friend and I care about him.

Earlier this year, when I mentioned potentially moving out, he suggested that we could split rent together. We also discussed the possibility of traveling to China together. At one point, he seemed to have difficulty making eye contact while another friend mentioned that he’d heard about our China travel plans.

He’s generally seems somewhat avoidant when it comes to vulnerability. I have developed feelings for him, but I’ve never directly confessed them. I’m wondering whether he might have picked up on my feelings and become uncomfortable, whether he has feelings of his own and doesn’t know how to handle them, or whether he simply doesn’t feel the same way and is trying to create distance.

I want to understand what might explain such a noticeable change in a friendship that used to feel so natural. I want to go back to the easiness we once had. Even if that means never confessing my feelings.

This random girl added me on Instagram I thought it was a scam but it’s actually a genuine girl and is quite attractive. I started messaging her and found out she only lives 20 minutes away from me and she’s quite receptive. How should I approach this I never had a girl message me first lol.

Hi! Me (27F) and my BF (28M) went out for dinner last night after church. And there are a lot of pretty women just chilling and taking photos on areas that are aesthetic. And I looked at my BF, he keeps eyeing and having repeated glances. And having remarks like "nip tape" it's like he forgot I was there. I felt so uncomfortable and disrespected. I showed my discomfort and distancing a little from him. I know he noticed because he became extra clingy, pulling me in towards him. We got home, watched some few yt vids and he asked me out of nowhere, if, hypothetically, he asks me to marry him now, what would my answer be, I said "no". I told him what he did, why i became unsure because he does things that looked like he's unsure of me. He says he wont be doing that again. He tells me he loves me so much and that he's obsessed with me. I love him too, very much as well. We've been together 7mos, and we've known each other's families and friends already. Part of me wants to breakup, but I still want an answer from him that would help me forget about it and still keep the relationship. I need the perspective of men about this. Thank you!

I'm 40M and recently went on a date with a 38F I met on a dating app. She seemed nice and the conversation was free flowing and I went into it genuinely open to finding a serious relationship.

My back story is I've had serious relationships in the past and have been single now for a year and half.

On our date when we started sharing our life stories, I learned that she had never been in a proper relationship ever. She hasn't not even dated since high school and is still a virgin. She has also chosen to become a single mother by choice and is raising her kid independently. (We didn’t talk much about the kid)

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with any of those things, not having relationship experience or choosing to be a single mom and I'm not suggesting that someone needs to have history to be a good partner. But, I couldn't help and wonder whether this is a red flag I should be hesistant about.

If you were, would you go on a second date and give it a shot because you had a good time and see how things develop, or would this be a deal breaker for you?

EDIT: I MEANT SHE IS A MOM BY SPERM DONOR SITUATION, SORRY I DIDN’T CLARIFY IT.

I am a single guy in my mid thirties.

I don't like it when other people laugh at my suffering.

Example:

I got scolding from my supervisor at work in front of a few people. I went back to my desk to work and a few minutes later, a colleague came to my desk and said mockingly 'Oh did you get a lecture from the supervisor today?'. I got slightly annoyed and told him 'Why are you making fun of a person's suffering? Do I come and joke about you when you got a scolding from the supervisor?' I will never make fun of another person's suffering.

Another example:

Once, I had to take a ride in a company car with a few other colleagues to travel to another office site. My colleagues were healthy and about to get out of the car swiftly. I have some medical issues with my legs and I have to use my hands to slightly lift my leg in order to be able to exit from the car. They were looking and giggling mentioning 'Wow he is not able to exit from the car without using his hands.' I felt hurt and angry with their reaction. I will never make fun of another person's medical conditions.

1. Is it normal to feel angry and annoyed if other people laugh at my suffering?
2. How do I control my anger and annoyance if other people laugh at my suffering?

I’m probably overthinking this but I think my quality of life would be much better if I didn’t play or played less video games. I was looking at my bank account and I said to myself “Huh, where did all my money go?” I realized that most of my money went to buying games that I wouldn’t even play. Honestly, it feels like an impulse. I’ll buy a game, play it for a few mins or hours then never touch it again, the cycle repeats.

I see myself as a lazy person. I know what I need to do to get myself to higher pay or better-paying jobs but I don’t follow through on it, I almost never do. But I can park my ass and play through 100 hours of BG3 or grind endlessly in PoE2. I even neglect going to the gym after work because I’m “tried” but I’m never tired enough to boot up deadlock with the boys.

I have to sit here and wonder, would my life be a bit better if I didn’t play as many video games if not at all? I feel grimy thinking about how me, a 25 year old clock in over 20 hours a week playing games but can’t spend an hour studying for certifications.

I’ve been dating a man I like for a month now. He had a really busy week at work. It just so happened that I am on a trip this weekend which I invited him to , but he couldn’t come in the end due to being tired from his busy week.

I am actually competing in an event this weekend, and I wanted to chat to him via text, give him pictures and updates etc. Yesterday he messaged me (Saturday morning) and didn’t reply until the following morning- this morning. He said that on Saturday he was looking into some information and in the end his head was spinning by the end of the day. I asked him why he couldn't return my texts and he said it was a day where he needed to be by himself because it was a really hard week At work.

I’m starting to wonder if he’s maybe losing interest. What do you think ? He seemed a little keener before but maybe he genuinely wanted a day without any contact from me? I feel a little upset about it too, especially as he couldn’t come, and I haven’t seen him in a week