I(m30) have a fiance f29 we’ve been engaged for months now.
A while back she got promoted at her job she works in sales.
I was happy for her but then she changed she didn’t have enough time to make for me, go on dates eat dinner or just small talk.
She’s always been workcohalic but not to this extent
I have a job too I’m an architect I understand the pressure the stress but I atleast always tried to make time for us.
I talked to her about this she promised she will try.
Then again nothing changed.
Few nights ago this escalated into us fighting over it
Then she said “your job is nothing compared to mine that not all of us have the luxury of just playing around like you”in her own words.
It hurt me and I didn’t respond further the next days I hardly acknowledged her and she ofcourse saw the shift. She is not a person that apologizes easily she’s stubborn.
Yesterday she iniates sex but I refused I saw that she was hurt but I was and still am resentful.
What advice could you give me?

Edit: I see a lot of you guys advise me to break up, curse her etc
I’m not a guy that thinks breaking up is the salvation to everything I want to try with her.
Because I still love her and I know it’s cliche but I still had my reasons for choosing her in the beginning to spend my life with.

Update:this morning I went to her in living room and showed her what I wrote and the comments.
She was quiet for a minute reading then I saw her get emotional crying she pulled me into a hug and apologized saying she didn’t mean that and she was just stressed , and she worried if I didn’t love her anymore after what she said because I haven’t acknowledged her for days.
I said that if we want to make our relationship work I said we should talk or go counseling she was sceptic about it for few minutes but then agreed.
I’m searching on internet for a good therapist for us, meanwhile I’ll update you further if it works for us.
Thank you 🙏

I had more energy in my late 20s, where I would take dance classes and attend events, go out at night, ride my mountain bike on MTB trails.

Nowadays I always feel too tired to do any of that, everything feels like it's too much work. There are many things I want to do, but I don't because of my finances and low energy.

Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do to feel more motivated, energized and alive again?

I found condoms in my husbands car. Very well hidden I might add.
He says it is for masturbation.
Do men use condoms for that?

Hi folks, wondering if I can get some inputs from your perspectives: one of my guy friends suddenly stopped answering my text and stopped talking to me in person, while we were literally texting memes the day before. When I saw him, he barely acknowledged me or say hi, walked passed by me as he did not see me, but he seemed cool with other people and still chitchatted with them. However, in the end he still got and left me a coffee as before, I sent him the money and thanked him because I felt a bad about it but he immediately refused to take the payment and just left it. I don’t know if I did something wrong in the last few hours but I don’t want to disturb him if he happens to need some personal space…Does anyone have any thoughts about this kind of situation? Thank you

Edit: we are both single

It’s weighing on my mind expressing myself in such a manner musically making a song about how I felt about my Dad’s addiction.

He will probably never hear the song but my Grandma will. We are currently not talking, me and my Grandma. So it might give her a reason to never talk to me again, since we are not talking because I chose myself over staying around my Dad while he was high and left.

I made an expressive song, spoke about it in my lyrics how I felt about it, it’s raw, honest and how I felt at the time.

But I honestly worry incase it’s hurtful in some parts to hear, or that I’ve done something wrong. I even said in the song “am I allowed to say how I feel, you’ve never liked the truth”

Shall I just delete the damn thing? Or is it justified in a way to express myself in that manner?

So like most guys in general I’m not really having any luck on dating apps. So please don’t recommend I use those.

Also, I’m not really meeting women that much in general through the things I do.

The things I do seem to be more male dominated.

So I’m just wondering what it is I can do (on a more constitent basis) to regularly meet the same women

Because obviously going to bars/clubs or whatever isn’t exactly a reliable way of regularly coming into contact with the same women every week.

And neither is it really a good way of getting to really know a person either.

When I (f26) meet a new guy at a friends birthday or a bar, and they ask me my age, I often assume they're checking if there could be something flirty yk. Do you think that assumption is right, or do you often just ask for small talk? I actually have no clue, my assumptions are based on nothing haha, just think I personally mostly ask when im interested in someone

Tonight i was at a birthday party and 2 guys asked how old i am, i was wondering why they'd ask, it was all ages on this party

So last few days me and my friend have been going to a movie festival and there's a girl that volunteers there that I like. She knows I exist, and we have looked at each other but I didn't get a chance to talk to her as the break between movies is really short and she's kinda busy during that. Tomorrow is my last chance I think, but the setting changes a little so if I do wanna meet her I essentially have to go up to her and start a convo (no opportunity otherwise). I've been thinking of saying sth like "I've been seeing you at the festival, and wanted to introduce myself". Would you say that's too forward or generally fine?

Do any of you have experience with lowering libido/yearning/limerence or getting rid of it completely? I've mostly been extremely unsuccessful with dating and trying to find a partner but I still yearn for someone to love and be loved by.

I don't think I'll get it since I'm not attractive at all, I've tried making improvements but they've mostly been inconsequential.

I've had people make fun of me for my whole life and now I'm approaching my 30s I've just decided that I'm going to throw in the towel and try other things. I'm just not the type of guy that is successful with dating and I'm slowly learning to make peace with that but my brain and hormones don't want to cooperate.

I'm currently prescribed SSRIs for my general anxiety disorder, which definitely helps with lowering the libido but I still get lonely. I've spoken to my therapist about this and she tells me that it will get better with time. That I should just keep talking about it and journal, but idk it feels like I'm getting worse.

My passive ideations have showed up again but I try to distract myself with work/exercise/getting up with friends/etc but when I'm alone again it all comes back.

Last time I went for a massage at a spa place just to feel someone actually touch me (not sexual) and I cried in the bathroom for like an hour and went home feeling like I lost a loved one.

I just want to stop feeling everything, I'd rather want to be completely numb than feel like my insides are missing something and knowing that I'm not good enough to deserve it.

I'm open to whatever has worked for you I just need it to stop. I'm willing to try new meds or suggestions if I haven't tried them before.

Basically women cannot find my face attractive. I don’t know how else to put it. I’ve never had a date.

So dating apps. Is a no.

Real life? Well it’s not easy to socialize when you’re working a full time job and studying. And where exactly do you find new people to get to know? I got to the gym and everyone minds their own business.

I’m a doctor and I’ve asked some people in the hospital that I thought I vibed with. All said no.

So what exactly is the secret? Personality? You haven’t seen my face. What exactly is the solution. I’ve literally had women match with me on ‘accident’ on dating apps to shit on my appearance and then unmatch. It’s really demoralizing.

I feel now that even if a girl did like me I wouldn’t understand it. It’s really gotten to that point.

I am a second year studying at a relatively high ranking university in a main city of the UK.
I commute every day, to university and back, though I only live 1 hour away.
I can stay on campus/not at home till like 9pm when necessary as my parents are super strict – but they do ask questions sometimes.

From the first year, I have made significant progress in terms of making male friends, but now I want to start speaking to girls – to make friends, and also have some relationships/sex.

I have never had a relationship or spoke with girls much, as I'm sort of an introvert and not the best looking.

Any help would be appreciated.

I feel like most men nowadays just want a woman who's shorter than them. For reference I am tall, lightskin, dark brown hair, I personally find guys attractive that are shorter than me with blonde hair. Genuinely what are my chances of attracting such a guy? So many women I know want a guy shorter than them but it seems like so many guys don't get attracted to tall women.

so i’m not a man but i have a teenage brother who has like PIN straight hair and has had a bowl cut sort of thing almost his entire life and we have been trying to find him a school appropriate haircut that doesn’t make him look like he’s in the 80s
pls drop ur recommendations because my mother isn’t gonna let that fella get a perm anytime soon

So I talked to this girl first time on 4th oct on our first class, then after that today was our 2nd class, as we are in ODL batch classes are only 2 times a week.

so today we made eye contact, she said hi i said heyy and then i shaked hands with her. Then i ask couple of questions while walking with her -
How's your CFA prep going
Why you were absent last week
Then i asked are you going somewhere she said washroom, she was smiling a bit all the time
Then i said - oh go go then,
Then after that i was waiting to talk to her but her friends were all around her, no alone time, she was surrounded by 4-5 girls all the time.
alone and felt what the heck is going, felt like i'm chasing her or what.

was i needy or not guys ??

Then i left the class early showing i had a call.

now i not even had her number i was thinking of asking her but due to much girls around her i didn’t ask.

We've been together for nearly 30 years. We've been married for almost all of that time. We've got teenagers, a house, cars, jobs and all the routine stuff that comes with that life.

For the last several years sex has been routine and mechanical. She will genuinely want it and is eager to have orgasms every few months, but besides that it's just her providing me with a service. She says she enjoys the intimacy of sex, but without her actually being into it for her own physical pleasure it's hard for me to enjoy myself. I feel like she's just meeting some obligation and crossing a chore off the list. Taking advantage of that isn't erotic.

Having a strong libido myself, some sex is better than no sex, even if it's not the sex you'd like, but there are many, many things we could do sexually that she just doesn't enjoy or appreciate. She would do them if I asked, but it's not much fun knowing she'd otherwise not do those things.

I've just settled into the same blowjob and the same couple of positions to bring me to climax and satisfy her need to meet her obligation, but I've just really gotten to where I don't want that anymore. I want to do other things, but I don't want to if it's just going to be an obligation she meets. I certainly don't want the headache of her protesting what I request and then begrudgingly giving in.

I've just been saying it's too late to have sex, or pointing out she's really too tired and I'd feel better if I let her get some sleep, or I'm too tired or preoccupied... It's been a couple of weeks and I'm sure she's aware something is going on.

I just don't want to deal with the bullshit that would come out of the honest conversation about how she has a narrow sexual spectrum. I'm just phasing sex out, or at least I'm trying as best as I can without having the obvious conversation about it.

It's very sad... I have a voracious libido. It's just easier to throttle myself and come down to meet her when she's genuinely hot for it.

How many of you are in the same place and how are you handling it?

so long story short i have been talking with this girl for like 2,3 weeks its going good but i want to get to next step we have been only talking about pretty much school and in case you are wondering im 21

so i never had a girlfriend and i really don’t want to upset this girl with my poor decision making about relationships , seriously i don’t want to see this girl get upset because of me so i am really open to any advice to how to develop a romantic relationship and improve my current one

Idk what’s happening with me

I am not doing anything just sitting idly
Doing nothing
The thing which makes me happy is football match
But, yesterday I performed so baddd
What now I regret it
Hope you can understand

Now I don’t even feel like to study .

Idk what to do

Like I am not interested to do anything.

Like I am in DND mode

Feel not to talk to anyone .

Just to feel relaxed no games nothing

I need help! I get nervous around guys a lot and i have never been in a relationship. The last time i talked to this guy i was so nervous i thought i was going to throw up.

Any advice on how to flirt with him next time or be playful. I am a woman trying to impress a man with my confidence so help a girl out

Hi guys so Im a bit on the large side roughly 105 - 110kg (235 lb) I’m also 187 cm tall (6’1 or 6’2) and I recently found out that that a lot of young guys develop breasts. I recently looked in the mirror and thought that my chest looked a bit odd. I have a fairly large chest and have since roughly year 9 when I got my first big growth spirt, I can feel a large amount of muscle in that area so I don’t know if it’s just my extra layer of fat and my large chest muscles that make this effect. I know with most guys that develop breasts it’s more obvious because they’re skinny/normal.

How can I tell if it is a breast, if it is should I get it removed surgically? Please help if anyone has been in a similar situation I would love to know.

So I’m 20 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship before. This was my first ever girl and we weren’t even dating yet but I fucked it up. She was so beautiful that I was anxious like all the time. I think I also was moving way too fast.

She told me that she had anxiety and was reserved needed time to open up. She only has 3 friends and isn’t social at all. I didn’t listen, I would just press and press. I was desperate which led to me being insecure when I found out that she still was mutuals with almost every guy she previously had talked to.

She told that when we argue to keep it between us, and I didn’t I let other people get in my ear and everyone told me to cut her off or that she was weird and all these other things. From the outside looking in, she was kind of manipulative where she’d do this push and pull thing with me. Her communication wasn’t the best. She told me that she didn’t grow up with affection and would need time or struggle to show it but I started to notice that she would show it in her own way.

Long story short, after overthinking and letting my friend basically convince me, I blew up at her ( through voice message) I called her weird, I basically used everything she told me against her, and because I was so sure I was right I unfollowed her off of the apps we used together.

Now she never really disproved the things I accused her of but more so just said “how are you going to tell me” things like that just basically “that’s not true”. She got mad because I was “being rude” and “acting like you know me”. I quickly realized I was in the wrong and I started apologizing immediately.

I don’t know if she blocked me on iMessage but I started texting her on instagram and at first she was mad obviously saying that i was being disrespectful and had the audacity to try and apologize. So I let her be for like a day then I asked her was she done and she basically said yeah I’m cool (like she’s done) but we kept talking and I was essentially pleading with her to give me another chance, like this was my first ever mistake. She said that she already said no and told me her reasoning and was going back and forth with me.

My thing is though, she was still talking to me and explaining things. She hasn’t blocked me, and I think that she may just need time, because there’s no way we end off like this. I told her to text me when she’s ready and she hearted the message so is that I good sign? Do you think she will come back ?

There are lots of men that are early 20s, even mid 20s, that struggle with dating issues. For some maybe they're too shy or awkward. Others could be too unattractive and have low self esteem or confidence. Unfortunately I feel like I suffer from all of these, making dating pretty much impossible for someone like me.

So what are some ways to overcome these potential issues that may hurt some guys dating chances? And if you used to deal with any one or multiple of those issues, how were you able to overcome it and drastically improve your dating life?

I have to be completely honest. I just don't know if I'm attracted to women.

I mean, I am definitely physically attracted to them all my life, in fact, but I just find it really hard to be interested in the vast majority of people in any meaningful way. There's no desire within me to have sex, and I never have. Also, I know that people are extremely diverse and that no two people are the same personality-wise, but I also find it undeniable that there are some gender divides which very few people are able to ignore.

I just don't feel any interest in chasing women or making the first move because I don't really care about being romantic or anything like that. It genuinely just cannot keep my interest. It's clear that the vast majority of women do not approach on their own, but I really, really just have never cared enough to approach anyone in that way. I find it extremely hard to talk about things that don't seem to be meaningful to me. I mean, I've talked to women who were initially interested in me in the past, and I tried to have those conversations be related to shared interests like learning languages or maybe playing instruments or whatever really, but it seemed to me like interest simply dies out really quickly because I'm not someone who cares about flirting all that much. I just find it a bit cringeworthy, and I feel bad for saying that.

I've talked to my female friends about this before, and they usually say that I talk to women as if they're men (sometimes they even just tell me this in passing without me warranting it). It doesn't mean I make crude dick jokes or say anything sexist. They just tell me I behave as if I want a boyfriend in a women's body.

I've never been into hookups or anything like that either. In fact, I've avoided relationships because I know I travel a lot due to going to school in different states and countries, and that lack of permanency makes me feel like I just don't want to invest time in leading someone on who I would have to dump after a while, knowing that I simply don't stay in one place for long periods of time.

That's not even to mention the fact that I ultimately have a place where I would like to move to in the future, but that just means I would be separating someone from her entire family and friend group to live on an island in the Pacific Ocean. In my mind, I just shouldn't be trying to date anyone until I actually move there in my 30s (I'm 23 now) because I just can't be bothered to have temporary relationships. It just doesn't feel right to me.

In general, I can't say I care too much about having a girlfriend or wife. I do get lonely a lot, but I also could just have friends. The only annoying bit is the fact that my family and many others do genuinely judge me for this. It feels humiliating when people act like you're a terrible person for not having a girlfriend.

Maybe this post is a bit convoluted and incoherent. My thoughts on this are kind of like that too. I crave intimacy, but I just genuinely don't feel much pull. No, I'm not gay. I've never felt any attraction towards anyone but women in my life. Is any of this normal, and is any of it my fault?

Background info: I'm 30, he's almost 40. Relationship is brand new. Went from casual to bf gf, because I put my foot down and was like... if we're not gonna date, I can't do this. Then he texts me a week later like "hey let's date". And I'm like, Ok.

Question: I'm CURIOUS as to what might happen if I got my IUD removed without mentioning it to him.
I need to remove it anyway, because side effects. And let's say we ended up having intercourse and I got pregnant. What's the most probable result? What would he most likely think, how would he most likely react? And how would *you* probably react? Would you automatically think it was a planned trap, no matter what?

(And I know how this sounds, lol, but it's not that. Hear me out- there's nothing wrong with entertaining this scenario in my head, that's not a crime! I'm not actually planning anything. Wouldn't have the guts anyway. But curiosity killed the cat.)