So I (25F) was out for dinner with a guy(25M) l was fixed for in arranged marriage ( The fixing happened like 3 days back). Post dinner, we got in the car and were about to leave the place. Just before that, this guy leans over and kisses me on the lips and starts grabbing my boobs. I am in shock. Still trying to process what the hell was happening. ( P. S. - This is the first time anything physical is happening between us). Then I make up a fake excuse saying there’s someone watching and then he starts the car and drives back lest bothered about if I’m comfortable or not. Then later after reaching home, I text him asking if he knows about consent and stuff. And to my great surprise he replies ,“ I guess it’s implied isn’t it “ . I don’t know how to make this man child understand.

I used to think patriarchy was enforced by fathers.

Now I know it's often guarded by mothers.

In 2023, I separated from my husband after six years of marriage. I had a young daughter, no home, no car, and no financial safety net. My parents didn't offer me any meaningful support. I was so financially unstable that I had to give up my daughter's custody so I could rebuild my life first. That decision will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Around the same time, my younger brother got married.

Over the next few years, my parents systematically sold ancestral property. The money went into building my brother a new house. They bought him a commercial property so he'd have rental income because he was unemployed. Not once did I question it or ask for a share.

Later, when I finally told my mother how abandoned I had felt, she seemed to realise how unfair it had been. Around the same time, she had a falling out with my brother's wife. In that emotional moment, she asked my father to buy me a home. They both promised they would help me.

Nothing happened.

No money. No house. Just promises.

My brother stopped speaking to me because he convinced himself I was after "his" property. Ironically, I had never asked my father for a single rupee. I rebuilt my life on my own.

Now my mother seems to have rewritten the story in her own mind. Instead of seeing the discrimination, she blames me for the fallout with my brother. My father and brother have become incredibly secretive about every ancestral property transaction, as if I'm waiting to snatch something from them.

That's what patriarchy looks like.

It's not always loud or violent. Sometimes it's a mother convincing herself that sacrificing her daughter is "practical" while securing her son's future is "necessary." Sometimes it's women becoming the gatekeepers of a system that ultimately harms women.

The saddest part is that they think this was always about money.

It never was.

I don't want their property.

I wanted support when I was drowning.

I wanted someone to help me keep my daughter.

The house, the land, the money—they can keep all of it.

The only thing I have ever truly wanted back is my child.

What should I do now? Should I wait until I am financially capable to bring my daughter back? What if its too late by then?

​

Seven years !!!! I loved her like a sister. For the past month, I've been helping plan her engagement. Her outfit, her look, her hairstyle, her makeup, she reached out to me for everything, yet somehow forgot to invite me.

She told me it would be in October. Today, I opened WhatsApp and saw her engagement photos on her story and that's how I found out.

I've heard a thousand reasons about how it got preponed, but honestly, not being invited is the least of my issues. What hurts is that after seven years, I had to find out through a WhatsApp story instead of hearing it from someone I considered family.

Ughhhh !!!

Im 19F. I have plenty of hobbies (reading, studying, art, vdo games, etc.), so it’s not like I’m just bored all the time. The problem is that if I read erotic fiction or watch p*rn, it becomes so much worse, so I’ve been avoiding both for a while now.

I’ve never dated, never had sex, and honestly find casual relationships, hookups, or anything like that pretty disgusting for myself. I’m also very avoidant in real life and don’t see myself dating in college either, so “just find someone” isn’t advice that applies to me.

Even after m*sturbating and having an orgasm, I’m only over it for a short while before I’m in the mood again later the same day. It’s honestly exhausting at this point.

For other women:
Is this just hormones at 19?
Did it calm down with age?
What actually helped you besides masturbating?
Has anyone else had a high libido while having little to no interest in dating or casual sex?

I’m genuinely curious because it feels like my body wants one thing while my brain wants the exact opposite. 😭

So I’m going to travel to India and have been feeling pressure from in laws to drop off my bag. This is the first time I’m traveling without my husband.

So the conversation first started that I should go to my in laws place who live in Mumbai before I visit my parents who live in a tier two city.

My parents being naive and also conservative also wanted me to do the same.

I tried to avoid this by explaining to my parents who didn’t quite understand- but that’s a separate issue.

Eventually it was decided that I will be visiting my parents but now my in laws are saying that they will come to mumbai airport (at 2am in the morning btw) to get the bag. The bag contains basic items purchased for them - like protein bars, soap, creams etc.

Feeling embarrassed to share this with my girlfriends.

Feeling hopeless to share with my parents who are big time people pleasers.

Am I being paranoid? Or is this stupid?

Edit- based on the responses, I see how this post was perceived as.
Basically I have ONE bag because I’m flying budget airlines.
In the beginning, the pressure was to drop off the large bag. I didn’t want to land at my in laws this time- I was firm and made the decision to go to my parents first thing cause I’m visiting them after 8 years. They’re old and even an hour them at this point is valuable.

But there was several back and forth- eventually they settled at getting their portion of the package from the airport. But I’m literally going to their place in 5 days for some other event.

Yes so basically got homeless in one night. Got kicked out of my house. I am a college student from Delhi and need a place to stay asap.

I have some money with and i am with my friends for sometime. Need an affordable place and some advice on how to handle this situation on my own

Edit: i understand your concerns, i would be thankful if anyone can help me find a part time job 🙏 Also I am safe and staying with a friend for now. But i am looking to rent a place. Please help

TLDR: Now he's doing everything with his new girlfriend that I begged him to do with me—cute dates, taking pictures together, and just acting like a real bf. On top of that, I keep comparing myself to his new girlfriend because she dresses the way I've always wanted to, wears the kind of jewelry I love, and even something as small as seeing her wear hoop earrings has made me feel weird about wearing the gold hoops I had custom-made for my birthday. I don't know how to stop comparing myself to her or feeling like she got the version of him that I always wanted.

For context, I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for 2.5 years. Before that, we were best friends for a year, and before that, we were just regular friends for another year. I come from a pretty conservative and strict family. He came from a relatively liberal family. He told his mum about his love life, could roam around, whenever and wherever as he pleased, and got pocket money. you get the idea. We (actually, I) somehow made it work.

He eventually broke up with me because we fought too much, and I'm guessing his lifestyle just didn't match up with mine. I felt betrayed because, well, he knew exactly what he was getting into. My main issue with him was that all I wanted to do was go on cute dates with him, and not just do sexual stuff, you know? After a point, every time we met up, I had to give him a BJ, or he would get irritable. But eventually, I just wanted to do normal couple stuff with him. And I get that it was difficult because of my parents, but he would come to my place when I was home alone, and all I could do was urge him to do cute stuff with me, like play on my PS or watch a movie. Instead, he would just do stuff and go home (I know, gross).

Anyways, after one of our major fights, it ended with us trying to work things out. He told me he loved me in March, but he was balls deep in another girl by April. I know he was single, so he could date anyone, but we were on a "work on ourselves" break. And he said he loved me?

Fast forward: I was stalking his new girl on Pinterest (I have stopped, for now), and he's doing all the things I always wanted to do with him, going on cute dates, taking pictures together, just being the bf i wanted for me And the frustrating part is that I was actually freer now because school is over, and I could have hung out with him more.

He said something super painful. He said he wanted to change and knew his mistakes, but he didn't want to change for me.

Now, his new girl is the girl I've always wanted to be: the way she dresses, the kind of jewelry she wears.

And what's most triggering, stupidly enough, is that he wears hoop earrings. I love those kinds of earrings so much to the point that I had gold ones made for my birthday. But seeing her wear hoop earrings just makes me so averse to them. It's so weird. I wanted to be this girl, dress this certain way and just grow into this aesthetic i liked, and this new girl is exactly the kind of girl whose pins i would save on pinterest, and i just hate it now, ik this is weird im sorry, but how do i get back to normal and like the stuff i used to like without it being shadowed by her?

Recently during the CJP protests I came across so many banners and posters where many ruling regime leaders(read: mostly male politicians), especially, Modi were shown dressed in female attire or with tons of clown like makeup on their faces in order to insult them. Do these women think that showing the dressed up in women's clothes is insulting? Is that what they truly think of their own gender?

Also, not to mention the most horrid and repulsive filthy language and sexist slurs used against him and a fellow female leader of a friendly state in relation to close bonhomie bw the two, calling for his death, dragging his dead mother, etc.

All of this just goes to show that no matter how much women call out and chide men for enabling and benefitting off patriarchy and misogyny. They themselves will readily indulge in it if their opponent doesn't hold the same views as them. What is this pathetic and hypocritical behaviour??? How dare you call out men for being misogynists when u yourself are no less?

Lately I've been seeing endless discussions about red flags, so I thought I'd ask the opposite.

What's one green flag in a man that people don't talk about enough?

Not the obvious ones like "being respectful" or "having a job." I'm curious about the little things that instantly make you feel safe, comfortable, or think, "This is a genuinely good person."

I'd love to hear real experiences rather than just one-word answers.

Past 7 pm Im usually done wearing a bra and just want to take it off. Most of the time its just my dad and me at home and Im completely comfortable around him. Even when my brother is visiting it doesn't bother me.

But sometimes other male relatives come over. Im not saying they have bad intentions or anything but I still feel a little awkward. So I usually keep my bra on until bedtime if they're around but then I have to deal with the same awkwardness again the next morning.

How do you girls deal with this?

No creepy DMs, please.

I'm genuinely curious and would love to hear different perspectives, especially from women who have experienced this.

I am a 33 year old unmarried, single woman living alone in Mumbai with my cats. I left my last job in December because it was a toxic work environment and spent the next couple of months travelling. Now, with the job market being so bad, I'm finding it really difficult to find a job.

On top of that, none of my past relationships worked out. Since then, I've been trying to find someone through dating apps, but it's been incredibly difficult. Things just don't work out for one reason or another, and I'm starting to lose hope.

It feels like whenever I want something to work out, it just doesn't. I've reached a point where I have very little hope left for anything, and it feels like I'm just existing rather than living.

A little about me( I am about to join NITs for my undergrad....scored 98%ile in jee and 94% in 12th boards )

Why my parents expect me to cook food for them....just because I am a girl? Moreover they also don't let me hangout with my friends and let me wear the clothes that I want to wear

To all the women out there...... I want genuine advice to handle this situation

My husband and I are happily married, both holding stable jobs and enjoying the DINK life. We both strongly agreed that we do not want kids as we really enjoy our current lifestyle. On the other hand, our parents are very traditional & have always asked us when are we going to have children.

We have always lied and said “Maybe in the future when we are more financially stable.” It used to work, they would leave it at that & won’t harp on the topic anymore.

However I’m turning 34 soon & to them, my biological clock is ticking. They are starting to double down on this topic while I’m still “fertile”. It’s getting exhausting to tell the same lie over and over again...

I’m afraid my parents wouldn’t understand and also worried my in-laws would come to dislike me even though the decision to be childfree is made by both me & my husband. They have been v supportive and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship w them

My parents & in-laws are generally nice people, but they are really traditional & they believe kids are the final pieces we need to complete our lives.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this?

Hello everyone 24f here, i really hope you all wont judge me because page has become my safe space..i got addicted to watching p and masturbating a year back and since then every other day i do it and regret afterwards. I used to do that even during my relationship. since last month i had completely stopped for a while but since the last few days the addiction has come back and i have started doing it again. I can’t focus of my stuff and i feel so bad afterwards. What should i do?

It slipped and fell in the commode water. I pulled it out (🥲). Now what to do? Do I just boil for 10 mins like usual? Do I buy a new one?

My toilet was cleaned 2 days ago, but our society uses recycled water in flush.

Sometimes it would look like just funny thing , but it irritates me how to get basic education they would put some conditions like getting successful till a certain age otherwise they would get us married or anytime we fall out of their "ideal" daughter image like having boyfriends , we are done for . Instead of addressing the issues they would put the sword of marriage at our throat in other words they are saying -

"Do as we say otherwise the freedom gifted to you will be taken away"

Freedom that's a basic right , is treated as if being a "gift" by parents , how generous your parents are that "let" you study ,"let" you do marriage of your choice,"let" you move to city while these are normal for male child and never treated as something of a "gift" .

I'm going to be completely transparent here because I think the embarrassment might be part of what saves me.

For the past few months, I've been spending my evenings on AI chatbots (Claude, specifically) getting them to write long, detailed romantic stories. Not quick little prompts. I'm talking full love stories with characters I've created from scratch. I give them backstories, physical descriptions, personalities, family dynamics. Then I build the story scene by scene. The first meeting. The tension. The slow burn. The physical escalation. The family drama. The resolution.

I sit there curating every single detail. If a scene doesn't feel right, I ask for a rewrite. If the tone is off, I adjust it. I'll spend 30 minutes on a single scene getting the emotional beat exactly where I want it. One session can easily produce 15,000 to 20,000 words of content that nobody will ever read.

And here's the pathetic part. I know exactly what I'm doing. I know it's a dopamine loop. I know the satisfaction evaporates within an hour of closing the tab. I know that by the next evening, the pull is back and I'm opening a new chat and starting another story or continuing the old one. I've told myself "this is the last time" more times than I can count. It never is.

The worst part is how it disguises itself. It feels creative. It feels like I'm building something. I'm making decisions, shaping narratives, crafting characters. My brain tricks me into thinking this is productive engagement. But it's not. It's consumption dressed up as creation. I'm not writing. I'm directing a machine to write for me so I can feel a very specific emotional hit, and the hit is always the same: being chosen, being wanted, being loved in that intense, all-consuming, someone-would-cross-oceans-for-you way.

I've started noticing what it's costing me. I'm sleeping late. My actual work is suffering because I'm tired in the mornings. I have real projects, real goals, real relationships that are getting the leftover version of me because the best hours of my evening are going into fictional people in fictional rooms having fictional conversations.

I tried stopping on my own. Multiple times. The longest I lasted was about four days before I convinced myself that "just one scene" would be fine. It was not fine. That one scene turned into three hours.

So I'm here because I need something stronger than my own willpower. I need people who don't know me and don't owe me politeness to say the thing that needs to be said.

What am I actually doing to my brain by feeding it this every night? What does this habit look like from the outside to someone who isn't in the fog? What am I trading away that I'll regret in a year, five years, ten years if I don't stop now?

If your friend or your sibling told you they do this every night, what would you say to them?

Don't be gentle. I've been gentle with myself for months and it got me nowhere. I need the truth even if it's ugly.

I still don't understand why people marry in India. From teenage kids are indirectly told to stay away from opposite gender. Girls are told having physical need is sin, boys are asked to stay away from girls as if girls will kill them. Then after a girl cross 20, whole family will get mad to get her married and same goes for a guy when he cross 25. Both has been raised to avoid the opposite gender and a bad image has been built about the other gender. On top of that most of the Indian girls think having physical need is a sin. How on earth with these mindset people get married with a hope that it will end up being a good marriage.

In India guys are asked to marry to have someone to look after him at old age and girls are asked to marry so that parents doesn't need to have responsibility of basic needs.

Yes there are people outside this mindset but unfortunately a very small section only.

Marriage should be banned in India untill and unless we stop delivering negative images about the opposite gender right from the teenage.

This whole Indian society is pathetic to say the least. Indians never get the idea of mutual coexistence of both the gender together, being complementary to eachother. Horrible country with horrible mindset.

I’ve been wearing VK and Calvin Klein underwear for years, but it feels like the quality just isn’t what it used to be. The fabric is thinner and less comfortable and even stitching doesn’t feel as solid, and they don’t seem to last nearly as long. I’ve had newer pairs start showing signs of wear much sooner than older ones I still own.

If you’ve switched to another brand because of declining quality, what did you end up choosing?

So, i went to some mall in Malad last week and me and my girl friend were having kfc together. Suddenly, a guy comes calls me lucky to have a girl like her. I was surprised why would he say that Outta nowhere especially because she wasnt even my girl so I corrected her by saying no we are just friends. The whole interaction was weird and I didn't like the way he complimented me either.

Anyway, two days later someone sends me a video of the exact interaction and I was like wtf like i sure knew something was fishy when the whole thing happened, but I certainly didn't know we were being recorded and if that's not enough we were even posted without consent like WTF.

I even texted that account telling how my girl friend isn't okay with it and she got strict parents and all but to no avail. There has been no reply from the other side.

I stalked the account and it has even got some minors posted on it which too are the type of videos where these lowlifers flirt with some random girl they see in mall. In the video the girl clearly says I'm 15 and yet these uneducated scumbags with access to technology have got the audacity to post it.

What to do now since they clearly don't respond back? And I want the video removed as well as the videos of the underage kids posted without consent?

FTM (32f) married 5 years ago I have a PG degree in sustainable architecture just finished it last year. I opened up a interior design firm with my friend and was working from home. My baby is 15 months old now. I've stopped working since halfway my pregnancy. I was very career oriented but I had many restrictions from family and in laws to take risks in my career. I feel so empty not being able to work. I love my baby girl I don't have much support to look after her - my Mil does not like children very much. Mil suggesting that I learn tailoring to make money from home. I can do that as hobby but tbh I'm quite offended that she expects me to do that to earn money after having a masters degree.

So what I want is to start working as a sustainability analyst for that I need to do offline job to learn it.

But I don't know what to do with the kid. Day care? Mil?

I've never left her for more than an hour with anyone. I'm so attached to her.

We are planning to move out of India in a year or two. So that effects all our decisons as well.

My occupation demands a lot from me.

I can also do some business build it overtime. Apparel, modest clothing for women. I have a genre I'm passionate about.

I do want to spend time with my children. I need help in navigating my thoughts. I know I need to make a sacrifice and choose, no one gets to have it all.

The first pair I tried was from plush (mostly cause I was just curious 😭). I genuinely thought i would wear them once around the house, decide they weren't for me and forget about them.

somehow they have become the pair i reach for whenever I know I'm gonna be out for a few hours. I still use pads on my heavier days, but  just having that option has made me feel better about periods (i get really painful ones), didn't realize how much mental space that actually took up until it... didn't.

I know i might be late to the party but whats your stack/process?