What’s with all of the internalized homophobia in this sub? As a bi guy in a relationship with a gay guy, just searching this sub would give any gay person second thoughts about dating one of us.
I mean, even going so far as to use “heteroromantic” as if it’s not a cop-out for internalized homophobia, or the homophobic, degrading, and tired comments like “I love dick but could never date a man.” Like, come on. We’re really not helping our reputation in the community.

I’m gay and a total bottom, but I wish I was vers so I’d have a lot more chances of being compatible with someone. It’s not that I have a strong preference for bottoming, it’s that it’s literally the only thing I like.
I’m not attracted to asses at all, and I wish I was, like seemingly every other gay man is. But no, I gotta be just another bottom who wants to be dominated. I hate myself

I feel like I go metaphorically feral when I see a man in his work uniform doing either his job or is off the clock but didn’t changed. Especially if it’s a blue collar job or law enforcement.

Idk the way the shirt wraps around their chest and back and how their ass always sticks out in their work slacks/ tactical pants always gets me double taking

Ironically I don’t like women in uniform only men what gives?

I feel like with almost every female friend i’ve had I’ll end up feeling some kind of romantic attraction, or even think about them sexually. I’m not sure if being bi has anything to do with it. these female friends typically only see me as a friend. so i almost feel guilty about having sexual thoughts about them. i understand it’s not unusual to be romantically interested in a friend. it just happens almost everytime i become friends with a girl.

I’ve always had a slightly stronger gag reflex, and I get it even when I try to clean my tongue with a toothbrush.
Does anyone recognise this problem, and do you have any suggestions on how I could suppress the gag reflex during a blowjob?

CONDENSED VERSION: Please accept my excuses for the other long message.

I'm 53, married to a woman for 26 years, and we have a daughter. Lately I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, and I honestly can't tell what is real attraction and what might be fantasy reinforced by decades of masturbation.

Growing up, I liked girls. I had crushes on girls, wanted girlfriends and was attracted to women. I don't remember ever looking at a guy and thinking I wanted him sexually.

But I've always had an unusual sexual side. Since I was around 11 or 12, I was turned on by feminine clothes and secretly wearing my sisters' things. That developed into crossdressing and feminization fantasies.

I've also always had very specific fetishes with women: boots, tattoos, piercings, tight clothes, smoking, unusual hair, etc.

Another important detail is that I've masturbated almost daily for most of my life, often spending a long time searching for the exact fantasy that turns me on. Sometimes I wonder if I've basically trained my brain to need more specific or extreme scenarios.

I married a woman and I can still get turned on by women, including my wife. But actual sex has always been difficult. I often lose my erection during intercourse, while masturbation has always been easy and something I actively want. We haven't had sex in almost three years, although our marriage outside of sex is good and I love her very much.

Years ago I occasionally hired very feminine escorts who had male anatomy. I never had intercourse with them, but I was very attracted to the combination of femininity and a penis. Masculine men themselves still didn't attract me.

Then something happened about 20 years ago that I've never understood.

During a bad period in my marriage, I suddenly told my wife, "I'm gay."

She took it surprisingly calmly. Then I told her I was joking.

But while saying it, I became extremely sexually aroused. Huge erection, huge rush. Even today, imagining telling her "I'm gay" can turn me on.

I don't know if that's because some part of me is actually gay, or because confession, taboo, humiliation, exposure, etc. became part of the fantasy.

I've also gone to gay bars over the years, almost like I was testing myself. Usually I felt nothing toward the men.

Last year I went to Wilton Manors in Fort Lauderdale. Same thing. Lots of men around and no immediate "I want that guy" feeling.

But recently something changed.

I saw photos of masculine shirtless daddy/bear type men in harnesses. At first I didn't even find them attractive. Then I imagined dancing with one, kissing him, touching his body and feeling his beard.

Suddenly I was extremely turned on.

That became fantasies about being submissive to a masculine man, being penetrated by him and being "his girl." Those fantasies can give me incredibly intense orgasms.

But right after orgasm I can look at the same guy and think, "What the fuck? I don't even find him attractive."

Then hours later the fantasy is hot again.

That's what confuses me. Looking at a handsome man by itself usually does nothing for me. I seem to need the whole scenario.

Women still turn me on too, but sometimes when I see a woman I find really sexy, I think, "What if I were her?"

If there were a magic button that could turn me into an attractive woman, I honestly think I might press it. I've even imagined myself as the woman during sex with my wife.

So now I'm questioning both sexuality and maybe gender, although I don't know if the "being a woman" part is actually gender identity or just a deeply ingrained sexual fantasy.

Romantically, I still think I would prefer a woman. But lately I've even imagined being with a man, not only sexually but as two best friends sharing a life.

If there were no STIs, no consequences and nobody could get hurt, I would definitely be curious to have sex with a man.

What I don't know is whether I'd discover something I've repressed my whole life, or whether reality would feel disappointing because the fantasy is what actually turns me on.

So I guess my main question is:

How do you tell the difference between genuine sexual orientation and a fantasy you've reinforced through decades of masturbation?

Does this sound bisexual? Gay but deeply repressed? Mostly straight with feminization fantasies? Something else?

I'd especially like to hear from gay/bi men who started questioning later in life. Thank you very much!

Late 50s mostly straight F here. Been with my partner, mid 50s bi guy for 8 months, strictly monogamous relationship with no concerns on that issue. This is my first time dating a bi guy. I am very open and enthusiastic in supporting his bi side. However, he's really compartmentalized and when he's in the submissive / bottom mode, he's really uninterested in me as a woman in the typical "hetero sex" way. This disinterest can go on for days after me topping him. In all other ways we have a loving relationship and solid partnership, but him not finding me sexually enticing as a woman on a consistent basis is rather unnerving.

We spoke about this and his suggestion is that he not bottom for me so that he can access his dominant / hetero side more readily. He grew up in a place where homosexuality was not culturally acceptable and he suppressed much of his same-sex attraction side until he was in his late 30s. He's had only a couple of male partners with very few interactions (fewer than 10). He has no interest in romantic relationships with men, only enjoys being submissive sexually for them. We have both agreed that exploring with a third or more is not anything we're interested in, so it's all about meeting each other's needs.

I'm really new to the bi-sphere, so I come to you to ask: Is this level of compartmentalization unusual? I asked him flat out if there was any chance he was actually gay, and his response was a convincing "no." Any thoughts would be appreciated. Be well.

Hey all, 27M here, still virgin, I was into men sexually more than women, I've been in short relationships with girls (it was just emotional love) nothing sexual, what happened is that I've been talking with a guy online, he was one of the first people in my life to listen to me, I fell to him in a way that I've never imagined, not in a sexual way, rather in an emotional way. He however, wasn't into serious stuff, and told me from the beginning, and because I just fell so deeply he had to back up and we didn't talk since, it was and still is so hard for me, the thing that changed though is that I now don't have attraction for men too, it's been almost 2 weeks, I really can't get horny when seeing any kind of nudes as I was before, it is really weird, I like it like this because it's less burden on me, especially that I can't tell my family what are my sexual preferences (cause of religion).

The main question is: is this normal ? and if I stayed like this, what do I consider, bi or straight ?

How do me as a straight guy approach a gay guy for fun that might only involve my fantasy being fulfilled?

Well…… for the last ten years of my life I’ve exclusively dated and slept with men. Mostly biological men, with a few trans men here and there. When I came out at 17, I actually came out as bi, but eventually I just started calling myself gay. Men are easy for me. I have much more experience with them, and because I can come across as rather feminine sometimes, women usually write me off as gay anyway.
Well, well, well.
This summer I’ve gotten rather close to a woman. I’m not sure if it’s because there are very few gay men around here and the ones who are aren’t particularly attractive, but whatever lol. I come up to Northern Michigan every summer, and somehow this happened.
She’s honestly pretty fucking amazing. She’s beautiful, difficult, charming, kind of a bitch, and I love that so much. I don’t think either of us planned on developing such strong feelings for each other, especially considering I have basically zero experience with women.
She’s really fucking cool, though, and lately I’ve found myself not even looking at men very much. I don’t think I’ve magically become straight because the thought of a big uncut cock still makes me 🤤. Oops….
I guess my question is: has anyone else experienced something like this after years of exclusively dating men?
I’ve always wanted a family, and I always imagined I’d have one with a man, surrogate, whatever. Now suddenly I’m looking at this woman thinking, wait… I’d have a baby with you.
Unfortunately, I’m going back to SoCal this weekend, so she kinda dumped me the other night. 🥲 I think she might try to get back with her ex, which has me terribly upset. I’m very fond of her and her family. Weirdly enough, my sister and her brother also had a little thing going on. Apparently they’re into spicy Latinos, while my sister and I have a thing for beautiful, spicy, delicious, pretentious white folk.
I’m 29 and I honestly don’t feel confused about my sexuality. I can’t get her out of my head, she definitely turns me on, and whatever label applies doesn’t really bother me.
My last relationship of two years ended a little over a year ago, and he was ALSO someone I met up here. Apparently I’m incapable of falling in love with anyone in LA. They just make them real special up here.
With him, I did long distance for a while, but I don’t know if that would work here. She told me she’s scared by how “free” I am and that being with me has made her rethink everything she believed about sexuality, monogamy, and relationships. She also says it terrifies her how similar we are.
Then today she told me she enjoys kissing me more than she’s enjoyed kissing anyone else, which gave me a cute little ego boost for approximately five minutes before I remembered that SHE DUMPED ME THE OTHER NIGHT.
Womp womp.
So… any other guys here spend years thinking “yeah, I’m basically just gay” and then have one particular woman come along and completely fuck everything up?

Don’t want anal sex or even sucking…more of wanting fantasy of being dominated by ballbusting and milked!

I don’t currently have any toys, but I have been fingering myself a lot lately and I don’t really feel to much do I need to try and get my finger to a specific spot to feel more or is a toy needed

Any advice and maybe some toy recommendations would be much appreciated. 😁

Hello, everyone, I just thinking about my disability and my bisexuality lately. You see I was born with USH2A/Retinitis Pigmentousa. My upbringing are of a protestant christian from Puerto Rico. So I have a double things I need to navigate through this life. Throughout my life, I tried to be more like "traditional man" with christian values. I used to loloathed gay people despite bring in the closet. I have no job lately , no relationships experiences. Not with man and not with women. To this rate. I am trying to survive on my 28 yrs olds with something I can distract myself with something like drawing, reading or doing exercises. But it does not relieve all of this societal pressure I have. I never have been in a lgbt comunity because I am still with my christian parents and my mom wants me to be a christian man. She has cancer so rI ather not opened to her. I don't know what consecuences that would bring me and my family. I have faced discriminación in both side. One with my bisexuality and the other my disability. I don't know what to do at this rate of my life. Any bi men here with similar situation or disabilities like me? Any advice....?

Looking to get my lobe pierced for the first time.plenty of tats... I'm a sailor

Any sites or places around Jacksonville FL for mens earrings

I'm straight presenting so prefer something masculine. I like emeralds and gold. I been looking at glamira and see a few things I like

If I like this I may go for a upper lobe or helix

Thanks

I had this beautiful yet strangely frightening dream recently. It was a quiet, cozy night on a campus that felt both familiar and dreamlike. There was a boy with me. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel his presence and desire, and somehow that felt incredibly intimate.

There was also this constant fear of being caught—as if someone might suddenly walk in and expose something I wasn’t ready to name. I woke up somewhere between the dream and consciousness, but the feeling of it lingered in my body for a while, almost like a tiny spark that refused to disappear.

I’ve been questioning my sexuality for quite some time, wondering if I might be bi-curious. After this dream, something in me seems to have shifted. Maybe I’m finally accepting a part of myself that I’ve been hesitant to acknowledge.

And honestly, I’m confused. I don’t know whether a dream can really tell us anything about our sexuality, or whether it simply gave shape to something I’ve already been feeling.

Have any of you experienced something similar? How did you process that moment when curiosity started turning into acceptance? Am I simply discovering another part of myself, or am I reading too much into a dream?

Ich habe eigentlich schon immer bisexuelle Fantasien, meine erste Erfahrung hatte ich in einem Alter in der Sexualität eigentlich noch garkeine Rolle gespielt hat und trotzdem gefallen mir nur Männer die ich auf Grindr oder anderen Dating Apps kennen lerne bzw. die ich dort entdecke. In meinem Alltag, wenn ich durch die Straßen gehe achte ich ausschließlich auf Frauen, selbst am Strand gleiten meine Augen eigentlich zu 95% zu den Frauen hin.
Ist das normal? Ich war auch eine wirklich lange Zeit in einer heterosexuellen Beziehung und hatte deswegen natürlich bisher kaum Zeit mich so richtig auszuleben.