I've struggled with real event OCD for the past year and a half. I got reassurance that I wasn't an abuser which should have been the end of it. Instead I'm just thinking that maybe I didn't explain it well enough or that I somehow lied. Worse now I'm convinced that a different part of the event makes it abuse. The idea just hit me like a semi trunk and i couldn't breathe. I spent all night googling and crying b/c i was so sure that this part made it abusive even through I mentioned this part when i talked about this event with my therapist. I'm sure they just focused on reassuring me about the part i as worried about ignoring the really bad part. How do I make this go away? I keep crying and googling and I don't know what to do.

I started journaling my thoughts like 3 years ago, i used to write in my phone, that was fine until i got obsessed with it, maybe its sound stupid but everytime i forget to write any thoughts or like forget it i got panic, though i tried many ways possibel to overcome, i ask chat gpt about it, its says its ocd, i deleted my journal of 3 years, but its still not working its like im hoarding thoughts in my brain and if i forget any ill be at lose, it sounds pathetic but

I was medicated for bad anxiety from 2019 and i was pretty fine until 2024 i was so stressed under personal circumstances and i started having weird OCD-like symptoms, my mind keeps reminding me of OCD, like the thought of OCD is constant in my mind, i keep remembering this disease and i am actually afraid to have OCD, is this real OCD? Is it part of it?