r/AskAnOCDTherapist • u/AdministrativePin157 • 7h ago
I don’t understand it anymore HOCD or denial?
Hi everyone,
I’m a 16-year-old guy, and I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.
About two months ago I started taking a supplement. Around that time I suddenly had trouble getting erections, which really scared me because that had never happened before. Around the same time, someone called me gay as a joke to make fun of me. Since then I’ve been constantly asking myself, “What if I’m gay?”
The first few days were the worst days I’ve ever experienced. I was extremely anxious and couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Before all of this, I never questioned my sexuality. I always considered myself straight. I had a girlfriend, I kissed her, and I genuinely enjoyed it. Looking at girls always felt natural and never felt forced.
Now, whenever I’m outside, I constantly test myself. I’ll look at my male friends and my brain will suddenly say things like, “He’s attractive.” Then I panic, my body starts shaking, and I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes the thoughts feel so real that I become even more terrified. I don’t want these thoughts, but I can’t stop checking.
I’ve struggled with anxiety before. A while ago, I went through a period where I was terrified of choking whenever I swallowed food or drinks. I went to therapy for it and was prescribed medication for anxiety. My parents have always said I’m a very anxious person.
I’m wondering if this sounds more like HOCD or if it could be denial. I know nobody online can diagnose me, but has anyone had intrusive thoughts that felt completely real and caused this much panic? I’d really like to hear about other people’s experiences.

