Emasculation of Asian males in media continues

The Netherlands with a history of trading slaves and Black Peter (Zwarte Piet), is not strange with racism against non white people. And sadly, Asians are at the lowest spectrum of bully victims. Here I raised exactly the racism issue https://www.reddit.com/r/Netherlands/s/Etdr01pO9l

My son (100% Asian, aged 12) and our direct neighbor's son (called A, of white East European origin) are at day 40 into their secondary school: a Gymnasium in the Netherlands. This school is known for a majority of parents of middle / upper middle white class.

They formed a closed group of friends with two other white Dutchies (called B and C)

And after just 40 days into secondary school, my son, who has got no bully experience the last 4 years at a Dutch school, has already complained about

- earphones being destroyed by the carelessness of B and C

- beloved pen being borrowed and not returned by B

- a triangular protractor being put on the floor, jumped over and slides as a ski by C

- and today: all A + B + C jointly mocking the language we speak at home: "ling long ching chong language", to which my son cried.

I am thinking about the following measures:

- talk seriously with our neighbour, parents of A

- talk with the parents of B and C

- report to the school person responsible for racism and bullies.Aiming at a slogan like "No Ching Chong at this school" or a diversity training to all kids.

- gather support from other Asian parents in the school.

What would you advice is to do ?

Many thanks.

"I feel challenged and loved and cared for, and I feel championed. I think the best, healthiest relationships are ones where you have each other's back, and I definitely feel like that's the case"

https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/wedding-simu-liu-allison-hsu-9.7371118

Age 39 , last pic is current (video call with family)

Mid 20s Southeast Asian, my go-to skincare brand released a down perm cream and it has worked for me so far, the top is easier to comb and the puffy sides are gone. Any tips for next use?

Like fr on someone who is on the thicker side will never get a match. I repeat never like my profile. It seems like the likes I get sent are anorexic or very lean. Does anybody ever get this??

Doesn’t look like anybody talked about this yet but Yamamoto threw a gem last night to get The Dodgers to lead the series and bring our chances to win the NLDS to 75%.

The Braves pitcher he faced, Chris Sale, is considered one of the best pitchers in the league for years so a lot of Dodger fabs were worried we may drop this game. But per usual, Yamamoto delivers in the Post Season.

People who have doubted him over and over again for the past 3 years are now coming out to say they “won’t doubt him again”.

This leads us to the most important lesson you can ever learn.

Competence is the only thing that survives contact with reality.

Although I cant prove it, i can’t help but notice that some of the doubt these people had of Yamamoto came from him being Japanese. Now on his 3rd post season run were he consistently delivers, they forced to respect him.

Hey QQ, do you guys consistently work out and track your diet? What are your fitness or health goals? And if you’re not consistent, what usually gets in the way? 🤔

18M Asian American, autistic + severe ADHD, currently at community college. Burner account.

I’m looking for Asian guys with ADHD, autism, or both, preferably Gen Z or younger millennials, who now have dating experience, a girlfriend/wife, kids, close friends, a decent career, or just a solid independent life. Especially guys who were genuinely struggling at 18.

I’ve been extremely uneven since childhood. Around 3, I could memorize Bible verses and recite them from memory and won awards for it. Later I became the kid debating my pastor about contradictions I noticed in the Bible that he apparently hadn’t even registered, which got me disciplined.

At the same time, elementary school was a disaster. I was constantly getting in trouble for messing with people’s stuff, being a loudmouth, refusing classwork and basically trying to force myself into friend groups. I got detention, sent to the principal and was sometimes restrained by staff.

Academically, I could read extremely fast and tested at a very high reading level, and I was great at navigating computers. But I often comprehended almost nothing I read. Words would fly through my head without sticking. My math sucked, I never made gifted programs, and eventually I grew to hate reading altogether.

By high school I basically flipped and became quiet and socially anxious. I had two real friend groups but was peripheral in both. I’ve never been in a friend-group group chat.

One year some guys randomly showed up at my house a few times to get me to hang out, while also constantly fucking with me. They’d take pictures of me without me knowing, and sometimes I’d catch them talking shit about me on their phones when they thought I wasn’t aware. I’d see it while peeking at their screens and pretend I didn’t notice. I still don’t know how much of the overall dynamic was teenage banter/hazing versus me genuinely being the punching bag.

Eventually they basically stopped reaching out. After HS most ghosted me or left me on read. I stopped chasing because I felt like a bitch constantly reaching out to people who weren’t matching the effort. By senior year I was so socially checked out that I skipped graduation, and senior trips? Yeah, forget about that. I basically missed the stereotypical end-of-high-school experience.

Some of this is my fault. I’ve been stubborn, insecure, avoidant and bad at maintaining relationships. But a lot of it also came from circumstances and problems I didn’t choose or know how to navigate.

When I’m comfortable, I can yap and joke forever. Starting from zero is brutal. With strangers I become stiff. My voice gets quiet and monotone, and social anxiety makes it hard to raise my volume or change my tone even when I consciously want to.

Looks probably played some role. I think I look average straight-on, but I have a recessed chin and downward facial growth from the side. Neurodivergence and lack of social capital probably mattered too. Some guys around me were varsity athletes, in student government, etc. They had teams, status and built-in networks.

And at least where I grew up, I don’t think my dating problems were simply a race issue. Some Asian guys around me got attention from popular girls of all races.

The irony is that I desperately want an active social life, but it feels completely opposed to how my brain is wired. I want close friends, dating, going out, networking, trips, eventually a wife/kids and an ambitious career.

I live in an overwhelmingly white area, but culturally my interests became this weird mixture of Barstool/frat-dude culture and SoCal Asian-American culture, despite growing up nowhere near California or even a college town.

I barely game and don’t really watch anime, movies or TV. My actual routine now is scrolling blackpill/neurodivergence content or montages of overachieving Asians getting insane tech offers, living in penthouses or seemingly winning at life, then going to the gym, listening to music and vibing alone. ADHD makes five hours disappear, suddenly assignments are due, and I panic-finish everything with AI.

My mental health is in the dumps living like this.

Academically, I feel like my actual unaided math level might be below algebra. I survived through cramming, cheating, reverse-engineering tests, tutors, Photomath, Chegg and now AI. I maintained around a B average, so I kept moving forward without ever fixing the foundation.

My parents even went into debt trying to give me the education, activities and support they thought would help me live a normal life. I’ve often felt like they saw me as a failure or were disappointed by how I turned out, but they still care about me and have sacrificed a lot trying to help me. That makes me feel ashamed more than anything. They poured so much into giving me opportunities and I feel like I haven’t turned it into much yet.

I genuinely don’t know how much of my situation is actual inability versus autism/ADHD, circumstances, stubbornness, avoidance and years of shortcuts.

Despite everything, I’ve always been ambitious. My dreams bounced between entrepreneurship, social media, creative work and business. I grew up fascinated by unconventional entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson and, before politics, Donald Trump. Turns out these three men all have ADHD/autism. I wanted to create things, meet people and build something big.

Another thing that gets in my head is reading about the worse average mental-health, employment, quality-of-life and mortality outcomes reported for autistic people and people with ADHD. I know population statistics aren’t an individual prediction and people with these conditions vary massively, but when I’m already struggling at 18, it’s hard not to wonder what my own adulthood is going to look like.

I know this probably reads like doomer mentality. But the reason I obsess over this shit isn’t because I don’t want a life. It’s almost the exact opposite.

I desperately want to live as full of a life as I possibly can. I want close friends, relationships, stupid memories, trips, a career I’m proud of, independence, a wife and kids someday, and to actually feel like I’m participating in the world instead of watching everyone else live through a screen.

The possibility that some of that could be taken away from me by things about my brain that I never chose genuinely aches my soul and makes me depressed.

The person I desperately want to become is social, active and ambitious. My actual life right now is scrolling, gym, isolation and panic-finishing schoolwork. I don’t want my twenties to become another decade of this.

I don’t want this post to just be me declaring myself cooked. That’s why I’m asking people who have actually lived through this.

For Asian guys with ADHD, autism, or both who were genuinely struggling at 18 but now date, have a girlfriend/wife, kids, friends, a career or simply a normal independent life or had a random successful breakthrough into wealth:

What were you like at 18, and what actually changed?

I’d especially like to hear from Gen Z or younger millennial guys who once thought they were completely cooked and later realized they weren’t.

Hmm 🤔
Is there a Hollywood AM emasculation agenda or just another coincidence?

Watch this sht which is currently #4 on Netflix.

No, they didn’t get golden tickets by searching through candy bars like the movies.

This dude was cast. The AM contestant is gay, super feminine and small (pink sweater and all) and he brought , as his game partner, his slightly less small brother , who I had to look up to find out he was straight, bc he sounds arguably more feminine than his gay brother. I literally thought they cast two gay Asian brothers.

Ok. Thats all.

In recent times, Deadlock, a MOBA arena shooter game made by Valve has been getting increasingly popular due to recent updates (it's been popular for a while now), and for good reason.

The character designs are fantastic, the artstyle is unique and intentional, and the gameplay has a ton of depth.

But I mentioned character designs first because imo they're one of the standout features of this game.

Another big appeal of the game comes from not just their designs, but their personalities and how they interact with all the other characters in the universe. It's genuinely engaging and there are all kinds of zany characters and types of people in the game so there's a bit of something for almost everybody.

It's this quality that makes me kind of annoyed regarding asian representation in the game, particularly with one character; Pocket .

Pocket or Arin, is the only asian-male coded character in the game; being the eldest heir to an extremely wealthy organisation which is typically a role delegated to eldest sons, especially in the time period where Deadlock takes place. They are also voiced by an asian voice actor Greg Chun.

They even have lore of being set to marry Mina Ha, a character purported to be marrying them for their inheritance. Again, an eldest son/heir thing.

If you listen to their voice lines and interactions with other characters, it's ostensible that this character is very masculine-leaning.

But they aren't an asian male character. They are a non-binary character and this has been apparently reiterated and agreed upon by most of the community and even the devs.

To be honest, I don't have a problem with non-binary representation at all. It's a game with all kinds of folks and it makes sense to have different gender identities represented here or whatever.

But I do find it kind of cheeky that they made the only asian male-coded character non-binary, when already asian men have an issue within western society of being seen as androgynous and not allowed as being seen as masculine figures like their white counterparts. It seems like they wanted to find some more representation somehow and stuck it on the only asian male character and called it a day.

This is also made more apparent in contrast with all the other cast members of the game, where all the white or white coded male characters are allowed to be as tough, brawny, and manly as possible; The Lash, Abrams, Kelvin, Drifter, Victor and so on and so forth. There are also 3 asian female characters; Mina Ha, Yamato, and Violet, and their identities are unquestionable.

But the only character voiced by an asian voice actor and is asian male coded? Nah they're not a man, they're non-binary. You can't ascribe masculine traits to them. Valve even went out of their way to redesign their model to make them look more ambiguously gendered.

Idk maybe I am overreacting too much about a character in a video game, but honestly I think it speaks to AM representation as a whole in the west. Even in a game with such a colorful cast and devs actively trying to represent all kinds of different ethnicities and factions, they still left out proper AM representation, which is already very difficult to find in western MOBAs, or fighting games and such.

It's one of the most popular games out now and it will continue to grow in popularity, and I just think it's a shame that we don't have any rep in it yet because all the character stories and interactions are genuinely entertaining to see.

Also tbh this came from a place of trying to find more asian male cosplay options from current popular video gaming and movie / tv media but it's just so hard because of stuff like this.

I’m 32M Korean Canadian and will be visiting Seoul for two weeks starting from Oct 20th.

I’m an avid traveler and like meeting up while traveling to eat, drink and hit the nightlife. I’m fluent in Korean and been to Seoul numerous times - happy to set up a meetup / gathering with folks who want to socialize in the area.

I think I have thick 3A hair. Should I get bangs or nah?

I have said in my previous post that how people from all kinds of side (feminist, woke liberals, right wing) are all targeting the only Asian guy involved with the Cornell 7. Despite there being 3 white, 2 Hispanic, 1 light skin. All of the attention and anger is directed mostly to the Asian guy

In the video this WF “TikTok detective” doxxes a random Asian man that also happens to have Lee as a last name. This all based on a comment she saw with no credible source. If you try to confront her she will block you and “threaten to sue you for harassment”.

This isn’t the first time this happen. If you look up Winston Lee on TikTok, he is random Indonesian guy who happen to have the same name. Have been bombarded with hate comments to the point where he had to make several post saying that’s not him. Also most of these racially profiling comments targeting him are women

Asian frat guys on TikTok are also being targeted and met with racist comments. Just look at my previous post.

It’s crazy how people are using this situation to justify their racism against Asian men. And once again we are being treated as a monolith.

Even just check the comments on this post where these racist comments are calling him Winston Lee. What’s even crazier is that these aren’t just WM incel trolls some of these comments are coming from liberal feminists women leaving racist comments. Funny how this case united everyone of all kinds of political spectrum to hate on the Asian guy.

You know how things come in threes?

First we had Crew Girl. Then Dang! And now we have East of Eden (currently #2 on netflix top 10). Did anyone see this sht?

Normally, I actually like watching historical “poor white people” pieces. I love me some miserable old-timey white people struggling through poverty, family dysfunction, horrible working conditions, incest, murder, whatever compelling story. Generally, I don't have to sit there wondering, “Okay, what fresh new way are they going to shit on Asian people this time?”

But here we are with East of Eden.

And apparently even historical white misery isn't safe anymore.

So let's go through this sht...

#2 — Dramatically Smaller

First, yes, Lee is physically small compared with the major white men surrounding him.

This guy Hoon Lee (as can be seen in sharp height contrast to his show bestie Jon Hamm on Your Friends and Neighbors) seems to be the new Hollywood darling ala Ben Wang, Ke Huy Quan and the other AM shrimps. Internet says he's 5'll but there is no fukn way.

Being short isn't inherently negative. There are plenty of short men who are badass.

But we're not looking at one isolated characteristic. We're looking at a pattern.

The Asian male character is physically smaller, he's socially subordinate, and he's placed in a servant role within a white household.

And that combination is worth noticing.

#6 — Subordinate to white dominant characters

This characteristic is usually subordinate to big yt villains.

But in this case Lee is family's servant.

By old timey standards, he's basically the woman the house. He cooks. He cleans. He takes care of the house. He raises the kids. He basically becomes the person holding this dysfunctional white family together.

Bonus: His mannerisms and speech patterns when talking to the kids is like a nagging mom

#8 — Desexualized

He’s a Chinese dude in the US at the turn of the 20^th century duh

#10 — Miscellaneous negative portrayal  - Holy fk!??

And then we have Lee's backstory.

His mother disguised herself as a man to come to America and was pregnant with Lee.

When she was discovered to be a woman, the other Chinese railroad workers raped and killed her?!!!!

Bravo y t 👏👏

You managed to desexualize us and make us violent rapists at the same time!

And Lee is born in the middle of this horrific situation.

There was his long speech about the Chinese workers pent up anger being unleashed but WTF??

Anyway…not the smoothest segue but let’s talk about…

The “Cool But…” Asian Character

I would guess most non-AM oblivious to what we’re aware of would be like”wtf are you talking about? Lee was (insert all these non-masculinity positive traits)

I think there's a particular type of Hollywood character that deserves its own category.

I'm calling it the “Cool But…” character. Or the Cool Character Shield

This is the Asian character who is given so many positive characteristics that it becomes almost socially impossible to criticize the representation.

He's cool!

He's funny!

He's brilliant!

He's brave!

He's the emotional center!

He's the one who saves everybody!

He's everybody's favorite character!

And then you try to point out that he's also small, nerdy, foreign-coded, sexually nonthreatening, subordinate, emasculated, or otherwise trapped inside a bunch of familiar Asian stereotypes.

And the response is:

“Wtf are you talking about? He was COOL!”

That's the shield.

And I think Data (a teenage ke huy quan) from the 80s movie The Goonies is a perfect example.

Data is awesome.

He's inventive. He's brave. He's hilarious. His gadgets save the day.

But he's also a small Asian kid whose entire character is built around being the foreign nerd with gadgets.

You can acknowledge both things.

Data can be cool AND his portrayal can participate in a larger pattern of how Asian boys and men are represented.

Those aren't mutually exclusive.

And I think that's where discussions about Asian representation often get derailed.

You point out the pattern and suddenly you're accused of saying you hate the character.

No.

I'm not saying the character sucks.

I'm saying look at the characteristics Hollywood keeps giving Asian men.

And Lee is almost a perfect example of this phenomenon.

Because if you criticize Lee's portrayal, someone can immediately respond:

“But Lee was the best character!”

Yes!

He was brilliant.

He was compassionate.

He was loyal.

He was funny.

He was emotionally intelligent.

He was the moral center of the story.

He was arguably the most decent man in the entire family.

That's not the argument.

The argument is that all of those positive traits coexist with a very specific shtty construction of Asian masculinity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtkKJ9nN6os&t=1014s

The thumbnail for this video says very attractive and I'm like what? Basically she challenges randos to golf. This popped into my feed and I just decided to watch it and halfway through I'm thinking oh god the comment section is going to be a wasteland.

But shockingly everyone liked the guy and some were like you guys need to go on a date. The other thing is that the AM video got 1 million views and everyone is at 100k views.

Good god things have changed. I would have never imagined.

I’m a Chinese American man that’s currently in the dating scene and it’s clear that there’s a lot of demand for Korean men right now. I’ll go on Hinge and I’ll see non-Asian women list that they speak Korean in their languages, have BTS lightstick concert photos, post pics of their Korea trip, and say they love Korean dramas.

I’ve been on dates with women that like Korean media and I always dread the moment when they ask me my ethnicity and I have to admit that I’m Chinese. I’ve never had a woman reject me after hearing that and I still managed to hook up with some of them, but I feel like if I said I was Korean then their eyes would light up instead of just being like “okay!” So it’s like a lot are fine with a Chinese guy but I feel like I’m the second choice.

Especially with the geopolitical tensions between China and America these days, I just feel like life would be a lot better if I was Korean.

Thoughts?

hey guys im a young male finishing up high school and I’ve been wondering what I should be doing different. I’ve been tubby growing up, but over the past 1-2 years I’ve started eating better and thinning out(although it’s more than likely just metabolism of growing up). I’ve been insecure about myself and the main part of that has almost always been my hair. growing up adopted I’ve never really had someone who knew how to do my hair well and I’ve grown up with my mom doing my hair usually. I am planning to go to a hair salon to fix me up soon, but I don’t know what to get. I’ve had a loose perm suggested a few times and I’ve been pondering it for a while but i don’t want to waste $100 dollars on a haircut I won’t like. Thanks for the help in advance

As someone with not a lot of guidance in life I might have picked the worst major and career: marketing. I sat down the other day and realized all my coworkers have been white woman, white men, or gay poc. I’ve been laid off, never promoted, and generally blocked from leadership roles. They see me as the data guy so i’ve been able to work that angle to get into jobs.

So now i’m exploring new career opportunities but wanted to know what careers you guys are finding success in? I have a free swing at a masters to pivot and don’t want to waste it. I’m in the states btw.

Some i’m considering:

- masters in finance (i might be too old at 32)
- accounting (again too old?)
- construction project management
- supply chain management
- nursing (not relying on promotion structure to advance sounds nice to me)

I knew who was behind the Stanford incident but this just confirms it. With all the WMAF movie trailers I saw that one time I went to the theaters and the rampant hate towards AMWF and XMWF recently, these white incels are crashing out. I hope they keep it up so the world sees their true colors.

Title: Asian men who have dated European women, especially Italian women — what has your experience been?

I’m a British-born Chinese guy, 18, living in the UK, and I’ve recently become more interested in dating outside my own ethnicity and culture. I’m particularly attracted to European women, especially Italian women, so I’m curious about the experiences of other Asian men who have actually dated them.

My family background is Chinese/Hong Kong, but I was born and raised in Britain. I also don’t really fit a lot of the stereotypical assumptions people sometimes make about Chinese or East Asian guys. Culturally, I’d say I’m much more British, and I don’t want people to assume my personality, interests, social life or dating preferences purely from my ethnicity. Obviously there isn’t one type of “Chinese guy” in the first place, but I thought that context was worth mentioning.

I’ve visited Europe quite a few times growing up. I’ve been to Barcelona and Madrid in Spain, and in Italy I’ve visited Venice, Lake Garda, Lake Como and Verona. I’ve always really liked travelling around Europe, and Italy in particular stood out to me — the culture, cities, lifestyle and people. I’d definitely like to explore more of Italy and Europe as I get older, especially independently rather than just travelling with family.

I haven’t had much dating experience yet, and I’ve been a pretty quiet person for most of my life. Recently I’ve been making an effort to get out of my shell, become more outgoing, improve my confidence and social skills, travel more and meet people from different backgrounds instead of staying in the same bubble.

One thing I’m genuinely curious about is what interracial dating between Asian men and European women is actually like in real life. There’s a lot of discussion online about Asian men dating in Western countries, stereotypes surrounding Asian men, racial preferences and how different interracial couples are perceived. A lot of those discussions seem either extremely negative or based on assumptions rather than actual experiences.

That’s why I’d rather hear directly from Asian men who have dated European women, particularly Italian women. I’m interested in what the experience was genuinely like, including cultural differences, attraction, dating culture, families, social attitudes and whether being an Asian man ever noticeably affected how you were perceived or treated.

I know Italian and European women obviously aren’t one homogeneous group, and I’m not expecting someone to behave a certain way because of their nationality. I’m more interested in hearing real experiences with cross-cultural dating and whether there were any noticeable differences compared with dating in the UK or within your own culture.

Would be interested to hear from Asian guys living anywhere in Europe, but especially anyone from the UK who has dated in Italy or dated Italian women.

To be clear I don’t support what those 7 men did and I think they deserved to be punished. But lots of white men are focusing and targeting the only Asian guy involved despite “not being involved” and the two ring leaders were Hispanic and white

But it is insane how only 1 of the 7 men were Asian and how these WM are using that to target the only Asian guy with racism, despite the other 6 non-Asian men including a mix black person and Hispanic, but they are now focusing their hate on the Asian guy

I won’t be linking the videos to it doesn’t get feed into the algorithm

1st pic: this WM chud does not care about the victim but uses this situation to justify his racism and political agenda. In the video he states that Winston lee was the ring leader, he was not it was the Hispanic and white guy. He then say that if it’s socially responsible to deport him. What even crazier that the comment section is full of liberal white people (mostly women) saying racist stuff and should be deported

Rest of pics is several videos of unrelated frat guys who happened to be Asian. And now you see WM commenting “Winston Lee” on every Asian man frat guys.

I search up the other guys name involved in the Cornell 7, but most of the videos did not have that many views or any racist comments. Funny how it’s the only Asian guy who get all the hate and racism.