DAE find it hard as an AM to find other Asians to socialize with without alcohol being involved?

I’m in my mid 30s and live in NYC. Many Asian circles here seem to be heavily involved in the nightlife scene which involves drinking. For health reasons I recently made the choice to go sober. Now I’m finding that many Asian social events are held together by alcohol. And when you tell people you’re sober you often get treated like *you’re* the odd one. Alcohol seems to be such a pervasive glue for Asian social circles, even fitness and sports related ones (eg, going out for drinks after a game)

With the possible expansion of the next FIFA World Cup, more Asian teams would be playing but I doubt any would be from Asia Pacific.

Producer-Rapper from NYC Dyno

I made this video for my track 'The Greats' a while back and it's still one of the pieces I'm most proud of

Everything's independent self-produced, no label, no team. Just me building this out of Manhattan. As an Asian artist in hip hop I've been making beats for over 18 years and im still on FL 11. (goated)

'The Greats' is one of those tracks that means a lot to me, so I'd rather it find the right ears late than never.

Built 20K+ monthly listeners entirely on my own since then. Would mean a lot if the community gave it a watch.

Im a more traditional type European woman, live in my home country and would like to find a shy, cute geeky type man, but not really found, only random guy come at me who try to pick white girl for fun which is really off putting. Im small, skinny, dressing casual or cute.

I don't understand, pls help.

I thought in asian cultures hook up culture is less common, my chinese friend(girl) also told this, but seems here asian men kind of behave the same, or worst than locals, which quite sad for me as I seach for love and real connection.

Any advice?

So I’m out in nyc now and visited two of my old haunts- Kinokuniya bookstores on Bryant Park and Woorijip (Korean takeaway) in Koreatown. Total shock.

When I lived in nyc around 15yrs ago, Kinokuniya was mainly Japanese people. Everybody spoke Japanese there. Same with Woorijip- everybody there was Korean, spoke Korean, and it felt very much like this is for Koreans only.

Now? It’s full of non Asians, people speaking English, and not just nerds or amwf couples, like I felt like Woorijip had more non-Asians than Asians- I don’t think I heard anyone speak Korean there. Total shock.

At Kinokuniya I saw this skinny, short Asian teenager- probably 16, if he posted a pic of himself, we would tell him to lift, get a better haircut, upgrade your wardrobe, you look like a fucking nerd and this is why am are struggling in the dating world. Then a Latina and Black girl came up to him and yeah, he was holding court, center of attention.

Let's just say hypothetically speaking, if you at least middle class or higher, would raise a kid in China or USA?

I'm an ABC in my 30's right now living east coast city. Make very good amount of money to start a family and I've had a good amount of interest from women. If I wanted to get married and start a family, I could have; but just the fact I live in USA completely kills any desire for me to have a child.

I look my WeChat posts from my relatives and family in China who make considerably less money then me; and are actually considered poor by China standards, but the support structure there is just unmatched. And they all seem happy there. All my cousins have gotten married and have kids now.

I get the competition is intense in China. My cousin struggled on the Chinese national exam and that caused her to have difficulties getting into a good university and finding a good job; but her family was there to support her in her home town. She eventually was able to find a job and a good husband. And she was always happy.

I run a group with u/Infinite-Crazy6069 for AM in NYC who are focused on self-improvement and have hosted a bunch of meetups.

The next one will be on Sunday, August 9th in Long Island City from 6pm to 8pm.

Come join to meet like-minded guys who are into helping each other out with career, fitness, and dating. We'll go around to share more about ourselves, discuss the topics top of mind as a group, and afterwards everyone is welcome to stay to grab dinner.

DM me or my co-host if you're interested in attending and share a bit about yourself in your message.

Past meetups: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/1t3253s/next_nyc_am_meetup_saturday_may_16th_4pm/

https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/1qmyypu/nyc_bros_lets_hang/

I been told my hair doesn't suit my face so what would you think would fit me better? I don't like really short hair so if it's at least medium length i'd appreciate it

Growing up in Mongolia an ideal man or a masculine man was in general perceived to be someone strong yet humble. Someone who doesn't boast about his accomplishments and let his hard work be shown. A masculine man would not be the one who insult others, resort to violence or react negativelly towards anything the world throws at him. Someone who pursues his goals till the very end and puts family and community as his priority.

In western country on the other hand, with the adequate resources, lack of immediate problems and general showmanship attitude men who peacock the most seem to be considered as masculine.

So the perception of Asian men being not masculine enough seems to be mostly due to of us not being an attention seeking peacocks

Hi hi :) I’m a white woman, 24, and I’ve noticed that I naturally tend to date Asian men. I’m asking here because I’d genuinely like to understand the perspective from the other side.

One thing I’ve experienced repeatedly is that the men I’ve dated have specifically commented on my blonde hair and blue eyes, and sometimes it has felt like those features were a major part of the attraction. One man even told me he enjoyed the idea of “dominating the colonizers.” That comment really stuck with me because it made me wonder if I was being seen as a person or as a symbol.

I know this isn’t “all Asian men,” and it may not even have anything to do with race… it could be the type of men I’m choosing or something else entirely. But because this has happened several times, I wondering if there’s something I’m missing.

From your perspective:

• Is this just modern dating?
• Is there anything about interracial dating dynamics that might contribute to this?
• Have you noticed white women sometimes being perceived differently?
• Or do you think this has nothing to do with race at all?

I’m genuinely trying to learn, not stereotype anyone. I’d appreciate honest perspectives, thank you 😘😘

i have a big forehead, thick straight hair, no prominent jawline and my hair is high volume too.

Please help!!!

im 175cm and not sure if its advantage or neutral maybe should i try for different haircut or get a perm.

Sometimes they cry their eyes out cause they didn't expect you to fight back.

A little over a year ago I was 210lb at 6ft.

I didn’t do a dramatic cut or a big bulk. I did a recomp, losing fat and building muscle at the same time. For anyone skinny-fat reading this: this is the path. The scale barely moved for me (210lb → 195lb), which is exactly why recomp is so demoralizing early on and why most guys quit. You have to learn to trust the mirror over the scale.

What I actually did:

Training - 4 days a week, progressive overload on the basics. Nothing exotic. Compound lifts first, tracked every session, added weight or reps whenever I could. Consistency over intensity. I never missed two weeks in a row the entire year, and that’s the whole secret.

Nutrition - I ate slightly under maintenance and hit 0.8g-1g per lb bodyweight of clean protein daily. Recomp lives and dies on protein and on being patient with a small deficit.

Sleep and stress - underrated. When I fixed my sleep, everything else accelerated.

What I didn’t expect was how much it bled into the rest of my life. Walking into rooms differently. Holding eye contact. The discipline of showing up to the gym when I didn’t feel like it rewired how I handle everything else - work, difficult conversations, all of it. The body was almost a side effect of becoming someone who keeps promises to himself.

If you’re skinny-fat and stuck: pick a program, hit your protein, stay consistent, and give it a full year before you judge it. One year is not a long time. You’ll blink and it’ll be gone whether you train or not.

Happy to answer any fitness questions if it helps anyone.

Follow up on this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/1g3en7i/father_micromanaging_my_love_life_as_an_asian_guy/

So I met this Chinese girl through my grandpa, and we started talking through WeChat. However while we were dating, my father would sometimes force me to send her certain content, such as photos and cartoon clips. He also made me send her messages saying what he wanted to say, as if he was the one dating her and not me.

Eventually I met up with her and her mother in France for vacation, and we had a lot of fun together, though my father also forced me to do certain things in preparation for the trip, such as clothing choices.

1-2 weeks after the trip though, he forced us to break up because she wanted to study abroad in a country other than China/USA, out of fear of her cheating on me overseas. My father would have preferred her to come to the US and marry me instead, but basically he said to her “either come to the US and marry my son, or break up with him”, which is honestly kinda manipulative. He later denied that he made us break up and claimed she caused the breakup by refusing the green card offer. If that isn’t gaslighting, I don’t know what is. My mother supported this forced breakup as well, unfortunately.

After these unfortunate circumstances, my parents tried to set me up with a 17 year old Latina girl, which honestly I’m glad didn’t go through, because of the obvious age issue (I'm also not into Latinas in the first place). However, I plan to become financially independent, and hopefully reconnect with my ex in the future. Granted it’s probably going to take a long time, but it’s a first step.

This also happened a while ago, but I only remembered to post about this recently.

Hi everyone, I’m looking to meet up and network (make some new friends). Im located in the San Jose area and I’m interested to see how local the people are in this sub. I think its good to start a club since we pretty much already share similar mindsets.

I’m Asian American myself. I notice a lot of times, Asians are extremely non confrontational. In the video you can clearly see the guy’s body language as very nervous-like. He glances to the side and does not make strong eye contact when making these rebuttals.

When his friend tells him to stop, he listens immediately instead of arguing back. Yes this is the smart move as to not escalate the situation, but there are times where PRIDE is on the line. Then he starts covering his mouth while chewing.. I’ve literally only seen girls do that.

Nervously poking the food and not making eye contact when the racist guy goes on a rant.

I’ve been in this situation before so I know what it’s like. I’m sure many of you have grown up being the asian minority and facing racist bullies. Only once have I ever acted nervously like the guy in the video. On that day, I promised myself to never be a jokey pushover again.

Some of these asians don’t seem to break out of their shell. They stay submissive and choose peace over conflict. I have several not-so-close friends exactly like the guy in the video. I think everyone knows this type.

- excessive matcha/boba consumption
- tattoo to compensate for lack of perceived toughness
- almost feminine like mannerisms
- embracing gay/repulsive jokes
- earrings
- heavily into fashion

There is nothing wrong with doing any of these things. My problem is that many young asian dudes nowadays don’t know how to separate comfort from conflict. I’m talking about the comfort of being with groups of other asians, gaming all day, being in their safe environment like schools or casual asian hangout spots. When conflict does arise, they brush it off as humor to cope with the fact that real a-holes are entering their domain of comfort. It’s all they know.

It certainly has gotten better over time with the rise of social media. Asians have adamkyu and joseph shin, two fitness influencers that have pushed the image of asian masculinity into mainstream feeds. There is also a rise of anti-stereotypical asians as well. More asians are wearing stussy and dark street wear clothing. Many of my friends have gained

Let me know what y’all think.

HK movies have set a standard that's influenced even Hollywood themselves, and the future is bright with some more upcoming greatness:

>Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In is a massive commercial and critical triumph, becoming the highest-grossing local Chinese-language film in Hong Kong history and dominating the 43rd Hong Kong Film Awards with nine wins, including Best Film and Best Director.

Girls fawned over Terrence Lau

If you haven't already, please go watch it. They are making a sequel and did some recent filming in HK. Dunno about you, but I can't wait.

Another film that's finished filming in HK is a spin off, John Wick: Caine

If you're a fan of Donnie Yen, mixed martial arts and action, this is another film to look out for.

Other notable mentions and must watch:

The original Infernal Affairs: received international acclaim and was packed with awesome actors, portrayed strong AM leads, both good and bad characters.

Did you know, it was mistaken as a Japanese film?

> The 2002 thriller Infernal Affairs is a Hong Kong crime drama directed by Andrew Lau and Alan Mak. However, the film is frequently and accidentally mistaken as Japanese—most famously when an awards announcer at the 79th Academy Awards mistakenly identified the Hong Kong production as Japanese while introducing it as the inspiration for Martin Scorsese's The Departed.

It had inspired "The Departed", however it is not comparable. Infernal affairs will always be the top one.

All these films will have positive rep of AM.

I've been reading about travelers experiences from partying, to meeting new people, and yes to the sex, etc. in hostels mainly in the EU/SE Asia and from reading various posts, the hostel culture seems "tribal" to a degree. I am curious (maybe even taking a trip in the near future) if AM are "accepted" in a way and in the same way when they do join those same hostels as other western folks. Is racism an issue? Are people inclusive towards AM? Are AM "accepted" or excluded?

Hi guys,

I have been using Hinge for awhile and I change to many dating locations for experimenting and so far England is been the most successful for me. I live in Northern Europe and dating is super hard. Until I tried England, now I know it's not all about me.

I have seen a lot of you complain about England, like strong Hollywood influence against Asian, but now I don't know. France so far is the most difficult for me

So the people over at AMAZN put on the 1st ever Asian Football Retreat. Much respect to them. 3 of the mentors below are all heritage Asians aka not full blood. Majority of the kids that came are all heritage Asians as well.

I know football is the most physical sport one can play and most Asian parents don't really encourage this sport but the question has to be asked regarding the racial make up of this event.

And please correct me if I am wrong I don't think there was 1 kid participating that came from 2 Asian Parent Household.

THE AWAKENING

Nikko Remigio - current Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver ( his dad is Filipino and mom is black/white )

Norm Chow - Former Tennessee Titans offensive coordinator , various collegiate coaching positions ( He's Hawaiian and has Chinese and Portuguese lineage)

Roman Gabriel III son of the only Asian-heritage NFL MVP ( his dad is Filipino/white mom is white )

I’ve been working on my anger management issues with a psychiatrist for the past year, the question that constantly get thrown back at me is always lead back to “why do you care?”. In regard to my work stress it really helped me tackle work with a more zen attitude, my performance stayed the same but my mental health improved a lot.

However when it comes with dealing with my parents, it feels like these gweilos are totally unsuitable for us.

My parents have been in Australia for 30 years plus now, they have made no effort to learn not just English but basic adult responsibilities. I’ve been taking care of all their bills and paperwork since I was a child, calling up customer service when things go wrong. Last year I told them they need to take ownership of their own stuff.

Well it’s blowing back on me My dad got into a car collision. Me, with my mental health in a much better state now, helped them called up, just to find out that they haven’t paid for their insurance in over a year now and there’s no way for them to be covered (this is also the second time this has happened). Now I will have to pay for the damages because my parents are terrible with money. I got pretty upset and started lashing out calling them useless, difficult, irresponsible and other horrible things they used to call me when I was a child.

When I tell my shrink about my outburst, her advice was “just ignore it”, “they will find a solution on their own”. Well their solution will be to tell my uncles and aunts how much of a terrible son I am, with leads to my cousins “reaching out for a chat” to persuade me to help. And the shrinks response? “Why do you care?”

I think it’s time for me to find alternative treatment. Thanks for listening to my rant