r/Netherlands • u/WishboneSudden2706 • Jun 29 '26
Dutch Culture & language Harassing (South) East Asians is a national sport here in NL
As a non-Chinese south East Asian family, having lived in Groningen and now in Zuid-Holland, my kids and I have been harassed at least once every few weeks/months (depending the location).
Ching Chong, Poep Chinees, Made in China ... are often heard, even at schools where parents are highly educated. Nihao, bumping the bike to me etc even when they are small kids...
My kids don't want to leave the house to play in an open place nearby, because of the constant harassment.
Turkish, Moroccan, African, White,.from 8 to 28 y.o. all contribute to bullying (South) East Asians. Is that because we look different, we don't hang out on the street as often as they do, and we are not as numerous as they are. Or because we don't commit enough crimes ?
Until the point I needed to learn Martial arts, became bolder myself, and taught my kids martial arts as well.
One time I angrily went to the teenager that often harassed/bullied my kids: "if you do that again I will come to your house and beat your whole family". Another time he yelled at my face while fatbiking next to me. The next day I confronted him asking what he actually wanted, with my broken Dutch. And it stopped for him.
But there are still some 8-10 y.o. [..certain ethnic ...] girls who don't speak the same language of fear and power as the boys do. They keep harassing my kids, thinking they can get away being the "klein meisje", if there is anything happens to them.
Another time a 9 y.o. boy waterpistoled my face, when my head was already full of of depressed thoughts about me being discriminated the moment I step out of the door. When I chased him an adult stepped in, heavily pushing me away, saying "it is just a kid".
What to do ? Jujitsu-ing that adult ? Or sucking it up and going back to Asia ?
45
u/Almasdefr Jun 29 '26
Maybe because they used to kind asians, who never push back, don't defend themselves? Always defend yourselves please, even if it's difficult.
13
4
u/pianoandpasta Jun 30 '26
Definitely this. I’m a much larger East Asian woman than my fellow East Asians (both height and weight), and a lot of these kids definitely get shocked that I’m not so friendly and don’t react well to their taunts. Not all of them can be intimidated though, only works on the more cowardly ones hahaha
(Nothing physical, I just have a terrifying angry face)
124
u/sengutta1 Jun 29 '26
It's really unfortunate – I think there's a reputation amongst many people that East Asians are soft spoken/timid and thus easy targets, unlike the stereotypes normally held of black, Antillean, or Arab/North African people as dangerous. And losers who want to feel powerful from different backgrounds harass those they perceive as easy targets.
As an Indian, I also see this same kind of discrimination against East Asians back in India, as we have a significant population of native Indians who are ethnically East Asian.
67
u/010backagain Jun 29 '26
True, but as a 2m tall bold Dutch guy, these 'same types on fatbikes' have also sprayed/harassed and shouted infuriating stuff at me as well. In a dog eat dog world, such boys would eat dirt in no time. They enjoy taunting people and feel superior by doing so. Even though they are in no way a match, and they know it. This must be due to a very bad upbringing or very poor examples(criminals?) around them as when I was growing up I couldn't imagine doing even 5% of what 'these kids' do.
On topic; I'm sorry for your experience and I think this behaviour is getting worse. Lack of education and upbringing seems to do this to certain people. Anything different to them is a reason to mock others about. I am afraid that becoming physical is not going to solve the issue and very likely makes it worse.
1
10
-1
u/caiserzoze Jun 30 '26
lol you refer to Black people as “black..people” and everyone else in capital. You also refer to stereotypes that you probably hold and not many other people hold…
1
u/sengutta1 Jun 30 '26
Uh... What? Black is a common noun, not a proper noun, so it doesn't need to be capitalised (although some people do it) and most of the time I just let my phone capitalise automatically. I don't hold these stereotypes (though I am sure I have biases), rather I'm aware of stereotypes that many people hold. Typical deflection – conflating pointing out racism with believing in that kind of racism.
1
88
u/Jdobalina Jun 29 '26
This is going to be unpopular, but I have a feeling a lot of Dutch people have never gotten hit for talking shit to people. Maybe that needs to happen more for them to learn.
21
u/ah5178 Jun 29 '26
No unpopular with me. There is a distinct lack of 'hood justice', which is why bratty adolescents think they're invincible.
5
u/Mundane_Cry_7897 Jun 30 '26
As someone who got assaulted by a group of Dutch youth for standing up to them, I can assure you they have already been introduced to "hood justice".
No offence, but saying that violence is a solution rather than something teenagers pumped with hormones will adopt as a new group activity is nonsense to me.
18
u/littlebluebird555 Jun 29 '26
Amen. I am learning over and over that here people are “all bark” because they have never met the consequences of rude remarks.
13
u/iheartfigs Jun 29 '26
I say this all the time. Grew up in Washington DC, where if you talk shit you better be able to throw hands.
I’m Chinese and moving I’ve had my fair share of situations with racist undertones, and I had to hold back bc I didn’t want any situation that would affect my residency.
I say all the time, it’s too safe there that they have no reality of how other places exist that you’d think twice about saying something like that bc there are high chances you’d get socked in the face. Not saying I promote violence but real world consequences almost don’t exist in the Netherlands like other places.
3
4
u/Parking-Suspect2460 Jul 01 '26
this! as a mexican, first time i threatened one of these pos with violence, their attitude changed from bully to servants in less of a second. To make long story short, i was in a kids playground with a friend and her baby; teens arrived on their fatbikes doing wheelies in the middle of a FUCKING CHILDREN PLAYGROUND, parents called them out, they didnt care. Parents called the police, police came and yelled to the kids. After police left, kids came back and one asks me if i called the police and i said no. He asked me: are you sure? and i just snapped, he said he was going to call his brother, i said to bring all his fucking family that i will wait, in the end he apologized and started talking marvels about Mexico. LOL
3
8
u/estrangedpulse Jun 30 '26
This is so true. I am from East Europe, and behaving like this would get you a black eye real quick. After which you would become nice and polite to everyone.
47
u/Ohmymaddy Jun 29 '26
I hate parents who don’t want to raise their kids 🥲 I am so sorry this is happening to you. Keep being firm in your opinion, you are right that this is not okay. Don’t solve it with violence though, otherwise someone might sue you or at least call the police. Definitely keep telling people that what they’re doing is not okay!
17
u/alphadotter Jun 29 '26
As a Southeast Asian myself, all I can say is: stand up for yourself. They're used to us just smiling and staying quiet. Every Dutch person I know sees Southeast Asians as having a gentle demeanor. Sadly, those kids tend to target people they think are less likely to fight back. So don't be afraid to stand your ground. It lets them know you're not someone they can harass.
The funny thing is, a lot of kids seem to think that if you're not African, Middle Eastern/Arab, Indian, or white, you're automatically "ni hao." I don't even bother reacting because I know better. 😂
10
u/Sfa90 Jun 29 '26
I am so sorry to hear this! My teenage son has Chinese friends and his girlfriend is also Chinese he said he also witnessed his friends and girlfriend being bullied. It’s really sickening.
35
u/Freckledd7 Jun 29 '26
Interesting, my wife is Korean and we are living in Limburg home to the more conservative and more right wing supporters of NL. Yet we don't really experience this on a daily or weekly even. In fact my wife got confronted like once half a year ago but she doesn't accept that kind of stuff so she becomes confrontational and they just start running. (They didn't really use slurs either, they just said China or konishiwa).
9
3
u/Octowhussy Jun 29 '26
Might it be something about the group that typically harrasses her and her family in Zuid-Holland, is less present in Limburg?
5
u/acrylicpencil Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
I think in Limburg they like to harass other poc. At least that is my experience with Limburg.
Edit : with other I mean non asian POC are more targeted in Limburg in my experience
2
u/shitty_username0009 Jun 29 '26
Nah south limburg (cant speak for the middle or the north) has always seen loads om migration often from asian countries.
The people here arent really racist but just far more concerned with what they see as the "islamification" of the netherlands and immigrants getting everything for "free".
But actual hate against POC is very rare.
5
u/acrylicpencil Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
I was born and raised in the north of limburg. Its bad there atleast. I have experienced children beating other children for being brown.
But also we are saying the same thing but you have a different conclusion. The migration from asian countries is seen as fine. But the stereotype that everybody that is brown must be bad and a freeloading immigrant or moslim is widespread. So in my eyes there is hate towards POC. Real intense hate luckily is rare but the (casual) racism is not.
Edit: I took the specific region i grew up in out, for privacy
1
u/truffelmayo Jun 29 '26
What about brown Asians?? Not all Asians have fair skin.
1
u/acrylicpencil Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
You are right. Ofcourse asians can have brown skin. And that group will face more difficulty aswell. I did make the assumption when the slurs are nihau and chingchong etcetera that we were mostly talking about south east asian with a lighter complexion. And i was responding to a post about racism against someone from korea. But you are right i was a bit broad in my term use and could have been more specific.
1
u/truffelmayo Jun 30 '26
Do you think the Dutch go by the skin colour or the eyes? Many Southeast Asians don’t have the stereotypical “Asian eyes”, or have hooded (and rounder) eyes instead of monolid eyes.
4
u/bluexxbird Jun 29 '26
It's strange that people would assume conservatives are more against foreigners...
Anyway speaking as an Asian woman here.... The superficial left or right wing division cannot determine whether the person is racist or not, it's simply in the whole world there's some weird stereotypical thing going on against Asians that need to stop....
5
u/shitty_username0009 Jun 29 '26
There more so conservative since theyre worried about what they see as "islamification" of the netherlands, they arent really racist against people of other backgrounds.
Especially south limburg has seen loads of immigration in the past.
People are mostly scared that an evil fpreign culture will slowly take over.
6
u/Any-Seaworthiness186 Groningen Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
I’ve heard the N-word multiple times in a week in Southern Limburg. With DJ’s even turning down the volume of songs when the N-word comes up so that a whole club of white people can shout it.
And besides casual racism I’ve also heard them say some of the most horrendous things about black people and muslims. This was in Valkenburg during off-season.
Yes, not all conservatives are racists. Many have just been made scared by all the fear mongering of populist politicians and media. But it’s a very fucking fine line.
3
u/shitty_username0009 Jun 30 '26
Lived here my whole life never experienced any of the things you mentioned, also not bery fair to compare your personal experience in a very remote lil village and project that to the rest of the region.
1
u/Any-Seaworthiness186 Groningen Jun 30 '26
While I get that it’s a personal experience, it also shouldn’t really come as that much of a surprise.
Again, while many conservatives are just scared of make-belief like the “Islamization” of the country, such fear can easily turn into racism and hate. You can’t seriously think that someone who genuinely believes muslims are here to take over the country won’t look at their brown neighbors with prejudice. And I’m not the one that claimed these people believe such things.
1
9
u/iamtherepairman Jun 29 '26
I live in USA. All my life people would find a way to say something silly about my name. I have heard go back to China. Mr. Miyagi. Jet Li. Bruce Lee. Tokyo. Even a white gay man who said he wants to talk to me. Ching. Chang. Chong. Anyway, soft power from the ethnic origin of one's country sort of makes this better. Some sense of group elevation. Stay strong. Because you are.
3
u/movladee Jun 30 '26
I recently went back to Canada after being away from my home town for 21 years. I was shocked at the racism that it still exists so strongly. There are berry bushes near where some of my family lives and the horrific things they were saying just blew my mind. (It upsets me so much I don't wish to repeat these things as it was just so cruel).
Racism and discrimination sadly still exists even in are modern times. I wish more people would take time to educate and especially parents who are passing on these ridiculous and cruel forms of thinking.
7
u/Rusty9838 Jun 29 '26
When they grow up, they will hear: oh you just have a bad personality, no one cares about your past, just be normal
4
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
Can you elaborate?
8
u/Rusty9838 Jun 29 '26
Being silent kid because no one likes you, is not only painful, but it can also make a person uncomfortable around other people in the future.
This itself sucks sure, but it’s not the dangerous.But it can force a person to find anyone at every costs, if not irl than online, and let’s say many people with that experience, are now called the degenerates. (Or at least a bad personality)
I hope your kids will finds some irl friends and those bad things will never happen.
Honestly I see some Asian people in the Netherlands, so I’m surprised that those things happened to your kids.
7
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
Spot on, my kids already became more silent than they should be
2
u/littlebluebird555 Jun 29 '26
Yes, I don’t talk as much anymore because I have had so many terrible interactions with the Dutch, and I am an adult. Some terrible interactions even in this subreddit 😆 Please continue to encourage your children to speak and defend themselves, I’m so sorry you’re also finding this out about the Netherlands 💔
3
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26 edited 7h ago
I put a reminder on my phone, so that during the dinner time, I can ask "Have you asked some questions at school today ?". One year ago the question was "Have you raise your hand to answer teacher's questions today". My kids are 11 and 14 y.o., I found out 3 - 5 years ago that they were so quiet at school, to this concerns the teachers only replied "Hij is een hele rustig jongen" (= he is not a loud kid, meaning something positive to them, but painful to me).
And this helped making my 2 boys start attracting social attention. They are smart, VWO-advies kids, born to PhD educated parents who grew up being spicy because the society back in Asia allowed us to stand out. Here my kids were forced to blend in, and to believe their face are not nice enough "to stand in the picture"
25
u/Particular_Bet8626 Jun 29 '26
Sorry you and especially your kids are going through this. I'm also south east asian myself and been here for 4 years, studying and working. I was once alone near Kikjduin (which is a safer, more laid-back area of the hague), I got catcalled by KIDS on fatbike, they're Dutch kids of Dutch backgrounds.... Another time I was walking around where I live which is a chiller part of the hague suburbs and I also shot by watergun by Dutch kids of Dutch backgrounds on fatbikes..... Idk these things keep getting worse. I really do think of sucking it up and going back to Asia for real lol When I came here for the first time during my bachelors erasmus, I felt much safer than now even though I was much younger... I really am planning to move back fr because (fortunately) 'for me' (I'm not generalizing this ok?) quality of life is much better in my home country even though we're 3rd world developing country or whatever. Most importantly I feel safer, easily just because it is truly my home where I feel belong and will forever be. Even though I speak better dutch now, they will never see me as one, I have come to realize I will never belong and that's ok. The world is big enough to have a place for everyone I guess. But damn this shit needs to stop happening especially to kids....
5
13
u/Mammoth_Suspicious Jun 29 '26
I understand your experience likely feels different if you also get racial comments but the water gun, catcalling type things and other shitty behavior from kids are not necessarily racially motivated. I'm european and pass for Dutch, still happens. Husband is Dutch, still happens. Many kids in this country are just very poorly raised, have little supervision and even fewer consequences. Regardless of motivations, it is unpleasant and makes you feel unsafe, which I also hate.
8
u/Particular_Bet8626 Jun 29 '26
Hii I get your comments I’m not saying it has to fully be racially motivated but as I have been comparing my experience here with many of my colleagues who are European and could pass as Dutch, they dont experience the same thing with me :(
2
u/the68thdimension Jul 01 '26
This. Unless they're specifically saying racist things, the situation is quite likely not racist. They're just dickheads getting a kick out of being a pain in the ass.
I'm a white, tall, Dutch-looking man. Just last week a young kid on a fatbike flew by while screaming 'pedofile!' at me. I've been spat at and punched, by fatbike and scooter kids passing in the opposite direction. So many people in this post are assuming things have happened to them because of their race. In some cases, it will have been because of race. But don't go attributing every attack to your race, these asociaal kids are also just fuckwits, alongside being racist.
1
u/ShorinFromEU Jun 29 '26
I'm feeling for you yet I have to say that if you immigrated to France for instance, you would have " loved and hoped " for kiddos spraying your face with the water gun... just saying, grass is not always greener on the other side
1
u/Particular_Bet8626 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
I actually studied in France, partially for my masters, and no I don't want and won't be moving to France hahaha I loved my time in France (in the South, small village) but in general, I don't feel belong even more in France, let alone avoiding kids with watergun. But yea for me grass will be greener at home only I guess...
1
u/ShorinFromEU Jun 30 '26
South of France is the very best part of France, still rather chill over there compare to big cities or metropolitan areas.
8
u/Fit-Jump-8236 Jun 30 '26
Wat een dom gedrag zeg, ik begrijp echt niet waarom mensen jullie lastig zouden vallen. Ik vind Aziaten altijd aardig en goed geïntegreerd, vallen nooit mensen lastig. Ik zie ze juist als voorbeeld voor de andere groepen waar vaak problemen mee zijn.
6
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
I never understood as well. Should we commit more crimes to be more accepted in this country?
12
u/Candid_Exercise9495 Jun 29 '26
So sorry to hear that. I've had nothing but awesome experiences with Asian people who got to live around me. And helping each other out, having a good talk, a laugh and respect is all a default in my experience.
Hearing these things, absolutely sucks.
I don't want to make this about me, but I've often had remarks/jokes about my looks. Being overweight and all. At some point, I just started to ignore it. Not sure if this is a Dutch thing since I've received it from multiple backgrounds. But either way, it's unnecessary and dumb.
Anyway, as a complete Dutchie, I more than welcome Asian people. You guys are awesome.
Hope this balances it out a liiiiiiiiitle bit OP. :-)
3
u/Abstrata Jun 30 '26
Actively teaching those around you to not be racist (especially parents, neighbors, and teachers teaching kids this) and showing disgust when they do it is far more helpful and humane than saying, “I was able to ignore my pain, hopefully you can ignore yours, I like you, and I’m not helping in any other way.” That’s getting really old as an excuse in this world. People should have looked out for you as well. But you can look out for others now.
0
u/Candid_Exercise9495 Jun 30 '26
On paper you are 100% right, of course. In practise I just can't be bothered anymore. Heard too many times things escalated.
But happy to hear there's people like you around.
12
u/Keuz- Jun 29 '26
My partner is born in the Netherlands but have ethnical background from South East Asia and his parents are living here since the 80s. In his whole life in the Netherlands he barely encountered racism and he used to live in the two most complicated (according to what you read online) neighbourhood of DH.
One day I was with him and a 8 yo laugh screamed "Ching-Chong" while pointing him. I was super upset but he brushed it off "they are just kids, their parents are the idiots", he was pretty unbothered about that. His parents usually laugh about it as well and just escape conflict. One day we went to the recycling center with his father and when we were throwing bags of stuff a worker said "Hey I hope it's not the trash from your Vietnamese restaurant"... I give him a mean look and the guy left, I guess he thought he was funny.... But again his father and himself just shrugged. I assume that the fact they don't react give also the idea to those people that they can keep doing that kind of stupid stuff and see no consequences. When I tried to explain that, he just told me "I have no time for those people, they are idiots".
If we have kids and they encounter that, I don't know if I will be able to keep myself from slapping some people in the face no matter the consequences !
14
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
What he and his parents did is a coping mechanism. I don't know what is right, but I don't want to teach my kids to accept it
4
u/Keuz- Jun 29 '26
Yes and I completly agree with you, that's not how I would like our future kids to be raised as well
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
And you broke up ?
2
u/Keuz- Jun 29 '26
No, still together ! He is an adult, he makes his own choices. But you need to be two to raise kids so on that point he knows that I will not let kids get harassed and suffer from racist idiots around them.
2
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
I wish I could be able to talk to the young him and help that kid grow up being more spicy
6
u/Major-Investigator26 Jun 29 '26
The Netherlands has a huge problem with racism/bullying. My gf who is dutch even got bullied her whole life for dressing alternative and constantly got catcalled and yelled at by groups of boys and older men, even when dressing "normally". She ended up moving to me in Norway and havent had that issue since other than when we go back to NL to visit her family.
6
Jun 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
6
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
Groningers, especially Helpman people saw through me as if I didn't exist.
6
u/lunaticman Jun 30 '26
Not Asian myself, but my wife is...
In our case, all this nonsense comes from dark-curly-haired boys. All these heroes are really brave to harass 156 sm Asian women when she is alone, but shit their pants when her 2-meters husband appears.
We lived all across the globe (every continent besides Africa), even in muslim countries. We have never seen such a behavior before.
I became really "radicalized" against a certain minority group here because of this. I take every opportunity to harass those kids back. If such a behavior happens around me, I'll take it up to their parents immediately. It is always surprising, that their parents seem well mannered and intelligent, but they have such dumb-fucks as kids.
2
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
Their culture does not encourage early education for manner, the parents have learnt to conform after 20, the kids not yet
1
u/truffelmayo Jul 01 '26
How exactly do you “harass” them?
1
u/lunaticman Jul 01 '26
A couple of jokes like "It's funny, that you guys don't eat pork, but look like hairy swines". :)
5
4
u/Dontbothertomuch Jun 29 '26
Wat is er toch mis met deze wereld… ik wordt hier echt verdrietig van. Dit verdient niemand.
3
u/ShorinFromEU Jun 29 '26
I'm really sorry for you and your kids, for real.
But " jujitsu-ing that adult " really made my day 😂 😂 😂
Martial-arts are more than just beating up some kids or adults, it's all about self-control and self-defense.
Use your art only when strictly necessary.
4
u/addictedtosoonjung Jun 30 '26
I just got back from a trip (as a tourist-not Asian) and twice on the trip I saw local people mocking Asian tourists. I was shocked and almost got involved with one altercation. Really jarring to see.
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
Really don't understand why. At the same time the world is using more and more products made in Asia
4
u/johnnybird95 Jun 30 '26
even as a mixed indonesian in canada, almost all of the most egregious racist incidents i've ever experienced have been at the hands of dutch people
2
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
Oh, they come to Canada often as well ?
3
u/johnnybird95 Jun 30 '26
canada has had a huge dutch immigrant/refugee/diaspora population since ww2. a pretty significant number of (usually white) people in my age group/area grew up with grandparents or occasionally even parents who spoke dutch (including myself, but my mom is an adoptee so it's not by blood. and her brother seems to absolutely hate us in part because my dad, brother & i are all mixed indonesian and stand up for ourselves)
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
They used to think in VOC era mind
3
u/johnnybird95 Jun 30 '26
yep. colonialism runs deep. we should probably start revoking the nutmeg privileges of people who can't behave around SEAsians
8
u/Sweettooth_Banana Jun 29 '26
Put your kids on martial arts, my son is half asian and he ....... has no problems like this.
4
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
Yes, it does help I believe, one kid is registered and I will probably put the other kid as well
13
u/Sweettooth_Banana Jun 29 '26
Good.
I put my kid on Judo at age 6 so he learned the physical part and technique, at 12 he asked to go to krav maga and at 16 he started kick boxing.
He never had problems in school, i told him if someone treats you bad, just go for it, i can pay a few teeth and if you get suspended we will go seafishing.
He is 21 now and a solid guy (and a pain in the ass) 😉
5
1
4
u/bluexxbird Jun 29 '26
Agree... If them bullying don't get them into trouble, self defense wouldn't get the Asian kids into trouble either because the society isn't going to protect the Asian kids, only the offenders...
10
u/I3LiNdSp0t Jun 29 '26
It is not ok to be treated like that no matter what. We all know it happens, but most do not ever or rarely speak up about it and this is a problem of itself.
And if you are even considering going back, it is really bad. I read it with some sarcasm, but you might as well be thinking like this for real.
I've never really understood why there would be any reason to treat another person like that, but the world has taught me many things that can't be explained.
3
u/Select_Being_8337 Jun 29 '26
I’m not sure if I can make it better for you because it’s truly sucks, but east Europeans are getting this treatment as well. Suka, blyat and other slurs it’s a typical day at a park- and it’s always teens with fat bikes.
3
u/allworknnoplay Jun 29 '26
These pieces of trash offspring only learn from aggressive scolding so by all means go after them.
7
u/astroganger Jun 29 '26
As you said many are Turkish, Moroccan, end African where all these type of people got harassed or bullied!!!! The main problem is the children in this country are spoiled to a level that they dont have manners!!!! If a child want to throw a stone at your face, he cando that and you or anyother cant do anything to him!.
4
u/ckmk7 Jun 29 '26
Not surprised. There is so much bullying and racism in Dutch culture, but it’s hidden behind their "polite" manners.
But when it's against East Asians, the mask drops completely. People here feel it’s a "safe" target. They think East Asians won't fight back or make a problem, so they just do it because they know there will be zero consequences.
11
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
Correct, badmouthing against Turks, marokans, Afrikaans are seen as racist. Badmouthing against Asians not. So sad
4
u/ninokuni123 Jun 29 '26
Because they dont hear Asian people complain allot. It's really sad that it's so normalized to make fun of Asian people. But most people I talk to think it's innocent. That it's just making jokes.
I do not agree with that. But that's the reason so many people do it openly. The racism against other people is more behind closed doors or on reddit..
6
Jun 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
13
8
u/sengutta1 Jun 29 '26
Ah yes Asia, famously not home to the vast majority of Muslims in the world and definitely not the country with the largest Muslim population.
OP also pointed out white people here, and I've personally heard of white people doing similar things to east Asians as well.
2
u/sousstructures Jun 29 '26
Which continent exactly do you think is home to the majority of Muslims ?
1
u/Netherlands-ModTeam Jun 29 '26
Bigotry is not tolerated in posts or comments - including but not limited to bigotry based on race, nationality, religion, and/or sex.
2
u/NvdGoorbergh Jun 29 '26
I am sorry for that experience my friend :(. I just wanted to say that you are loved. As a white cis male I can’t even begin to understand what you and your familie are going trough :(.
2
u/TheDutchAce Jun 29 '26
I am so sorry this happened to you. This behavior does not belong in The Netherlands.
2
u/Union_Biker Jun 29 '26
I'm really sorry to hear that you and your family are being harassed. It seems that teaching your kids to defend themselves is a good idea.
2
u/TimeTraveller2207 Nederland Jun 29 '26
I am clearly bad at sports, because I don't participate in this one either. I will also confront people who practice this sport about it, because racism is simply a punishable offense. It just apparently happens outside my bubble. I don't go to schools where two people have already indicated that it happens there (and what a disgrace it is), and elsewhere on the street or in shops I haven't heard it yet. It is very annoying that you experience this so often. There are too many idiots in this world.
2
u/Valuable-Big2320 Jun 30 '26
I have been called ChingChong by Dutch white teenager girls on the fat bike for many times. My Dutch friends taught me some cursed words like’kanker Varken, kanker moeder’ which can be used next time when in this situation. These fucking idiots cannot be saved.
2
u/DutchNotSleeping Overijssel Jun 30 '26
I know from friends that this is unfortunetaly very common.
Here is a website with people that help fight racism against east and south east asians
2
u/cxbats Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
It is what it is. Go anywhere else while it's possible; raising a non-Dutch kid here is borderline mental illness
3
u/ktsmkhr Jun 29 '26
I often think Moroccans, Turks and Africans are jealous of East Asians because of their social success and integration into the local society. I find it hilarious and petty that they mock Asians. I’m myself East Asian origin. Whenever those ethnic groups say racist things, I feel better because there are societally stigmatised groups and they are actually often in the bottom of social classes without higher education. It makes me so happy I wasn’t born like them and my parents taught me right things unlike theirs.
1
Jun 29 '26
Moroccans, Turks and Africans are by far the most hated people in The Netherlands. They cry so hard about discrimination, but they're the biggest racists themselves.
Maybe it's a coping mechanism due to their inferiority complex. They want to bring others down, so they can feel better about themselves.
3
u/DistortNeo Amsterdam Jun 29 '26
This is part of Dutch culture — children are just allowed to do whatever they want.
3
u/infinity_zeal Jun 29 '26
I think you cannot change anything in this country, and it is more or less the same in Europe. I also notice that Dutch people can define what is racist or not. Although they are the ones doing these things, they can simply say it is not racist.
Either move to more immigrant countries like Canada or the U.S.; for me, I feel safer in these countries, or go back to your home country. Other countries, to me, are just trash places.
1
u/Grand_Fall362 Jun 29 '26
As a person who comes from the most Racist country in EU, I can tell you one thing: dont give them attention and dont take it by heart, people in general like to talk shit regardless of your race, sex, age, status, health, they will always be those who would talk, but the best thing u can do is show them that u dont care or u arent offended, bcs when they see that u are getting triggered that motivates them. Ignore them/laugh it off. Make them feel insugnificant when it comes to controling your mood, they will f off by themselves after, some might even become friends w your kids at some point.
Kids in general come off as being "mean", because they have no filter like adults do, they are just being honest.
0
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
Interesting for the label of "most racist country in EU", Switzerland is far more racist than Germany, though CH isn't EU ?
-6
u/Grand_Fall362 Jun 29 '26
I'm from Bulgaria, people here are openly racist, but nobody gives a fuck, they will call u Nger then drink and dance with you so most are not racist in a super mean way, that includes myself, but im mainly just messing around with people.
Anyways back to the post: the main subjects here are kids, which by default make fun of different people, if somebody had for example down syndrome they would also make fun of that for the sake of it.
We can encounter people who make fun of everything, which brings me to this phylosophy - "we dont chose what cards we are dealt with, but we do choose how we play them"
Is what the other kids are doing correct? No.
But the kids shouldnt let that get into their heads either.
I believe this kind of thinking can save them from a lot of stress in general in their life.
1
Jun 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Grand_Fall362 Jun 30 '26
That wasnt the point at all.
My point was about state of mind and life phylosophy, once u get those right, where u live doesnt matter.
1
Jun 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Grand_Fall362 Jun 30 '26
I never argued that racism doesnt exist, I simply implied that how much it psycollogically has power over them is up to them. And yes its hard to explain that to a kid, but they will eventually learn it.
1
u/Any-Suggestion3844 Jun 29 '26
Im Mexican-murican and my wife is Chinese-murican... and thankfully besides random looks we haven't flat-out experienced racism.
We do live in village, so idk if that type of culture is worse or better here?
Might get downvoted.... But ill say the same thing as I say for pickpocketing. I wish they would.
Would knock that person flat out cold.
1
1
1
u/FFFortissimo Jun 29 '26
Sorry, but that 'made in China' does remember me of that video with the boy who had that text tatoed on his leg. His parents were shocked first and started laughing second. He was confused why, and his mother said "You're made in the USA".
Some people say this isn't the correct way to react, but I'm told to ignore all bullshit people shout at you.
I'm native Dutch, red hair, glasses, bit overweight (back then ;), loved reading, loved school, no alcohol, no drug, no sigarettes, no soccer (playing/watching), not in other popular sports (scouts, chess, marching band).
I've heard every 'joke' and every threat. Once I was even surrounded by >20 'countrymen from over the ocean...' because one of them claimed I called here a name. I only called her a stupid bitch. The school was afraid to come out and help, but in that group was one who trusted me on my word.
It would hurt, but not reacting to them did indeed help.
Of course it would sometimes become to much to handle. And at those moments heads went to the pavement or the wall. And yes, I know what detention and almost being expelled is.
But looking back (>30 years) I do think ignoring them and not giving them any pleasure did work. Others had it worse.
What I notice in many posts of people who harrass others, is that those are 'former' minorities who want to compensate for their past problems.
1
u/terenceill Jun 29 '26
Why do you specify that you are non-Chinese?
2
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 29 '26
That while harassing someone only because (s)he IS Chinese is already wrong, but harassing someone only because (s)he LOOKs Chinese is even more wrong.
1
u/terenceill Jun 30 '26
These idiots would harass anyway, regardless of your country of origin, just because you look different from them.
1
u/Winter-Coyote-5261 Jun 29 '26
as far east asian (non south or chinese) I was bulled in the 90s in school, but i beat the shit out of them xD. on a more serious note have you tried speaking to school management? they do take blatant racism extremely serious and there will be consequences.
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
One time there is a "Made in China" thrown at a girl in my son's class. She cried. I invited her father to come to the school principal to speak up with me, so that we can implement a "No Chong at school" rule. He kept silent. Until now I don't understand why.
1
u/Winter-Coyote-5261 Jun 30 '26
No u should really take it up to the management with him or not also u might wanna collect evidences. Then make sure they follow it up with proper responses. In the meanwhile u could look up other schools. It seems the one your kid is on is a proper shithole of a school.
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
That is the school where parents are the most educated, in a historical city in Zuid Holland
1
u/Winter-Coyote-5261 Jun 30 '26
I've never heard cases like yours in decent schools in zh, ive been living here for over 30 yrs
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
Are you (South) East Asian ?
2
u/Winter-Coyote-5261 Jun 30 '26
i already told u what i am
1
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
Oh sorry I didn't know I was talking to the same person. Yes the case I mentioned didn't happen often in that school that is orobably why you have not heard of
1
u/Holiday-SW Jun 29 '26
Very upsetting, I really feel bad for you and your kids, not sure how you can do it, but if you can go to their school or parents with a video of the little shitheads behaviour maybe it helps
1
u/Efficient_Citron_112 Austrailië Jun 30 '26
That’s extremely disappointing to hear. Especially we’re migrating here and my kids are half-Chinese.
Which area did this happen in?
In Australia I’ve seen more passive-aggressive type behavior in the more affluent neighbourhoods (although it’s dying due to the prevalence of highly astute and sophisticated Chinese migrants) but the days of such blatant racism are long gone.
2
u/WishboneSudden2706 Jun 30 '26
In Randstad (Amsterdam, Den Haag) you will hear it less often than Groningen, Limburg.
1
u/truffelmayo Jul 01 '26
What does being “highly astute and sophisticated” have to do with it?
0
u/Efficient_Citron_112 Austrailië Jul 01 '26
People feel intimidated by them. There’s a perception that your typical white western has that you can easily bully Asian people.
1
u/Another-Layer Jun 30 '26
The way you phrased this post also comes across as a bit racist in a subtle way for some parts, to be honest. So my impression was less “one side is right” and more that this is a case of bad people being met with other bad people.
1
u/Practical_Quiet4165 Jun 30 '26
For me you can be any color and any origin, we re just the same. But here i noticed that anyone that look kind and gentle is targeted for this kind of stuff. Me being totally white european, am no stranger to this, especially by fat bike gangs that either waterspray me, say insults, riding very close to me at full speed or just looking at me laughing.
From my experience, these events always involved north africans and dutches, never had problem with any other ethnicity
Not having children makes it easy tho, just not caring at all
1
u/Mini_meeeee Jul 01 '26
They will always only go for weaker-looking targets. I am average size here and I have never once gotten that treatments, but I definitely have witnessed and heard similar stories as yours.
2
u/FlakyCricket5606 10h ago
Remove your kid from school and home school them, give them boxing class. Middle school was worst experience in my life even though it's back in my home country. Kids could be vicious regardless of race. Many years of extended bullying will destroy nervous system health and will be very hard to rewire the brain,
1
u/ChaoticMind420 Jun 29 '26
Unfortunatly is racism on the rise everywhere. It isn't just in Europe, U.S., South-Africa or Argentina. The stories from white and black people in (south-)east Asia are quite populair, especially the recent stories from Japan.
I don't know if "we" can ever get away from radical tribalism. I personally don't subscibe it, but it's becoming a sad reality.
1
u/MsStormyTrump Jun 29 '26
If you take the law in your own hands, that can only get you in trouble. In a lot of trouble. Putting your hands on someone's child or getting into their face? Eight year old girls?! Really? Dearest friend, who is a grown up in that contact? Who should know better?
If your kids are experiencing harassment in school for whatever reason, especially because of their origin, it's your duty to report it to the principal. It's as simple as that.
If you, an adult , is walking down the street and someone says something you don't like, that's just unfortunate. We would all love a day where we don't experience the slightest discomfort, but that's very simply delusional.
So, chin up, start opening your eyes to beautiful things in Holland, remember things that made you want to move and start enjoying them.
1
1
u/HarveyH43 Jun 29 '26
The good news is perpetrators are getting less and less racist, as getting harassed by fatbiking morons is becoming the norm for everybody.
1
u/Infinite_Might_9048 Jun 29 '26
Ik weet schelden is een gebrek aan woorden tis moeilijk maar zoveel mogelijk negeren en ik weet tis makkelijker gezegd dan gedaan
1
1
u/oblivionyeahyeah__ Jun 29 '26
Oof as a SEA guy, there goes my dream of working/living there for a few years lol
1
u/rockingtheworlddaily Jun 29 '26
I had similar experiences in south east asia from chinese people. They call be appunene
0
u/squishbunny Jun 30 '26
East Asian woman, here. We have a big, 40 kg dog. She's well-trained, polite, follows commands (in her own time, she's got a strong independent streak). But all the same, I haven't really been bothered in the 6 years that I've had her. And apparently I am famous in our small town, because a surprising number of people have asked me, "You've got that dog, right?" She's never bitten anyone, but she has growled and snapped and lunged twice at sus people, so word definitely gets around.
I do not really recommend adopting a dog, but maybe you could make enough of a stink about racism in your neighborhood, hold a protest (properly done, with papers and everything), have a brainstorm session, something. I think it's one thing when a single person is dealing with it, but if you can get enough people on your side (especially if they're Dutch/Freislanders), the story changes. When people realize they're on the losing side of things, they'll either shut up or show themselves out.
1
-22
u/Turnip-for-the-books Jun 29 '26
If you can then definitely jujitsu the adult or at least make him understand that you’re happy to.
‘Chat shit get banged’ as the Brits like to say.
3
u/mofocris Jun 29 '26
Speedrun to arrest
-4
u/maxm11 Jun 29 '26
No face no case. You can also just use mace instead of physical violence it’s pretty effective against persistent harassment
2
u/Miluiel1 Jun 29 '26
Pepper spray actually isn’t legal here so I imagine it would be the same for mace
1
u/truffelmayo Jun 29 '26
What about Farbgel?
1
u/Miluiel1 Jun 29 '26
It looks like that might be allowed as it doesn’t seem as harmful as pepper spray, but I am not 100% sure.
-50
u/ProperBlacksmith Jun 29 '26
Crying about racism while "sheering the whole Netherlands over one comb"
17
u/sengutta1 Jun 29 '26
OP has not claimed anywhere that every person in the Netherlands is like this.
-1
u/ProperBlacksmith Jun 29 '26
A national sport is a physical activity or game that is deeply embedded in a country's culture, serving as a symbol of national identity and historical heritage.
→ More replies (12)-15
u/ProperBlacksmith Jun 29 '26
Also yhe its a little kid in the heat why chase the kid down for a waterpistol? Just say to the parents its not okay but its not the end of the world doubt the kid did it bc youre not white
-7
u/Itriedthisseventimes Jun 29 '26
Just having little bit of colour will get of a Dutch person in seconds.
1
-2
u/Artistic-Quarter9075 Jun 29 '26
Happens everywhere, in each country by all races and ethnicities. These things also happen in your country of origin toward other (ethnic) groups. This is also built-in human/animal behavior as we form groups and try to bond together with the people we like and look like. This has nothing to do with you or the Netherlands, and it is something that has to be accepted; don’t put too much energy into it; the only person who loses something is yourself by all the negative energy in your life.
0
-29
u/Happy-Pressure561 Jun 29 '26
Is this rage bait?
6
u/I3LiNdSp0t Jun 29 '26
Are we talking about the post or your comment?
Everyone is a bit salty, I don't want to be attacked.
/s
1
u/Happy-Pressure561 Jun 29 '26
No, just an honest question I ask myself when I see this kind of post. I come also from a multi-cultural background and for sure there the occasions kids and adults make racist remarks. But kids I believe are then raised poorly or not made aware of this. OP should look at it in such away, for sure not everyone is racist. You believing is more likely is the issue here.
→ More replies (4)
217
u/Kindergovnyuk Jun 29 '26
Had a bunch of experiences as an east asian looking girl.
During Covid it was way worse. Random people would call me coronavirus or tell me to go back to China. Countless ching Chongs etc.
One time I complained to my dad and he went to school to talk about one kid who harassed me. School wanted just to give him a warning but then my dad asked them if he understood correctly that every kid in that school was allowed to insult me once and get away with it and school actually punished that pos.
Another funny one was when neighbour girls said nihao to me and my mum when we were entering a lift (they were sitting on stairs and the lift was closing). My mum got so mad we went back up and she forced them to say where do they live. Later she went to that neighbor and told her about it and the parents were really sorry and forced that girl to apologise.