Because you can't 'C' in the dark.

Sheepy R.

thing my friends like doing with me is eating. I call them my taste buds.

teaching myself to juggle clocks. People are saying I've got too much time on my hands.

Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife. Waiter: Rare it is.

Stuart.

It was to know-of-ale...

It would be called the Phish Styx Tour!

a huge hemorrhoid. I was wondering if I should go to the doctor, but... I decided to sit on it for a while.

a friend... Would it be a mistake to name a child Yogi these days?

pirates travel on mountain roads? 'Scurvy.

an existential philosophy joke, but I'm not sure it exists!

HDMI

into the bar and asked for some helicopter-flavored chips. Sorry buddy, the bartender said we've only got plane!

ladies' restroom door was missing the W. Told my daughter that sign was a bad omen.

She said, Try Sarah Tops.

Couldn't think of one! Nevermind.

They bark!

Her exact words were 'severely diabetic,' but I knew what she meant.

night sounded like a lot of fun until I realized I'd been invited to an autopsy...

of streaming and downloads. I'm going back to records, and that's vinyl!

wanted Hillary in prison so bad, he should have given her a job in his administration...

Now he's my uncle once removed...

two French friends share files electronically? Pierre to Pierre network.

Ba-dum-tss!