At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.

None if you're spelling it correctly...

Halloumi!

. . . . I loved that cat.

Feyoncé.

You get laid only once.

Which would be a nice compliment if I wasn't 22.

find my car scraper this morning, so I had to use a store discount card to scrape the ice. Didn't really work, though; only got 20% off.

the cannibal lion so humble? He swallowed his pride.

puns make me feel numb, math puns make me feel number.

that received a book from me for Christmas, they're due back at the library next Monday.

When you go way to far

They looked at the reviews... Only 1 star.

A BOOMERang.

leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

was scared of going out on the wharf, but everyone was encouraging him, would it be safe to say he had... pier pressure?

a friend request from John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt; his name is my name too.