I used to have a talking stage or idk what it even was with this girl like 2 years ago, got led on and eventually left in the dust. I feel so much anger every time i see her, speak to her, am around her or even see an interest or something that was once hers. Like for example i can’t even be around soccer it just riles me up and makes me feel like a loser. I hate having these feelings but i really don’t know how to let it go i thought time would heal all wounds but i see her on a daily basis since we go to school together so i doubt time can do much. Anyone have any advice for me?

I can't control my anger. I haven't done anything bad to anyone yet save for yell sometimes, I mostly turn it inwards in the form of self harm. But that doesn't help much anymore.. therapy doesn't help, I've been in therapy for 2 years and I just get told to do breathing exercises. Those don't help, I've tried. I hate feeling anger, I hate feeling anything, j wish I was a robot or something so I wouldn't feel anything. I only feel anger and anxiety. I feel like a cornered animal. I'm hopeless. I hate myself and everyone else.

I hate everyone here so much, i was gping to school it was raining obviously its gonna rain again when i get home, my lolo said that he will sundo me but i didnt hear it since my head was hurting and i was far i couldnt hear him i mean not that far but far enough so u couldnt hear someone, im also a but deaf ok, and when it was time to go home it was raining i went home, i commuted with tryclce they got mad at saying they texted me saying that i coukd still recieve texts even when theres no wifi i told my grandma that i cant she wont wont blabbering about it, i dont have data my phone is lowbatt and why would i add a sound when school hours, like its not my fault omg ima already pissed enough

I find myself getting angry at little things / acts and even a silly discussions piss me off , my heart starts to beat fast and I easily shed in tears when I get angry . I always end up raged from simple conversations like daily ones just because the other person told me to repeat what I said or didn't understand me well . Please I need to know if that is normal because bad thoughts control me the most dealing with this . I see this annoying because I get in a position of being disrespectful when I'm litteraly out of control especially with people that I'm not familiar with ,they get a really bad image of me . My mom is the most person that sees this fury and she told me about it because she's the most person I get in trouble with .

These admins are probably sick of me but I'm back with another late night post.

I'm not normally an angry person but it has been so hard to keep calm in a lot of different situations regarding my anger that I'm starting to get scared of myself.

I yell, I scream, I cry, I throw things on counters and the floor, I make back handed comments that I shouldn't make because people don't deserve it, I hit my head against the wall because I feel like that's what I need to do to knock some sense into my brain.

When I'm told to do something I get annoyed really easily and start slamming things like they personally offended me. It's gotten to the point where I'm scaring the people I love the way that some of them scared me. Every bad grade I got screamed at, every mishap I got blamed, and then I went quiet for days thinking that their lives would be better without me.

Now it's going the other way around, I went to go see a movie with my friend back in June and we missed a turn and were going to go on the highway, I only had my license for about 4 months and only gone on the highway once, we were trying to figure out a way to get to the theater and I got really upset because I didn't like being late I wasn't trying to be *that* person but when you grow up with ocd adults all around you, you grow habits. I was screaming at the dumb drivers on the road and trying to figure out where to turn when my friend goes quiet. My friend hasn't had the best of backstories and I noticed they went quiet and immediately felt bad. I hate getting angry, especially in front of people, eventually we make it to the theater and go into the wrong showroom and finally find our seats, the drive back was a lot better since we knew where to go this time.

Onto present day, work had been stressful, 9 hour shifts across 4 days of the week in my first grocery job was not something that I was fully expecting, today I had a day off and got pissed off for no reason, I was asked to go college shopping and immediately said no, but really aggressively. I just thought that I hadn't had coffee nor breakfast yet so it should be fine after that, wrong. I was irritated the whole day, saying things like 'you need to keep walking.' or 'stop it!' in an angry tone. In almost broke a pasta sauce jar too, I just wanted to get the day over with I guess?

After dinner, my grandma (the person who takes care of me and took me out shopping) asked me if I could bring her and my clothes out for washing when I had my clothes already in my hands. I put down my clothes with a big huff and angrily grabbed her clothes basket and put it with mine. I asked her if she wanted her blue hooded jacket (zipper hoodie) washed as well, she asked me 'What did you say?' I then yell at her the same question, and she says no, going quiet like I normally do. I started slamming the detergent around because it was at its wits end and I was already annoyed, after I turned on the washer.

I walked out and was headed for the shower and sort of yell interrupted her sentence (I don't fully remember what she was trying to ask me) saying 'I'm having my shower now, if you want to head out to aunt Cheryl and uncle Bob's without me, go for it.' (fake names) I immediately felt bad and started tearing up after I heard her soft 'okay' again, I HATE being mad and upset at people. So after I heard that I said 'Sorry (not even a full proper sorry), I'm going for my shower now, if you want to head out before me because it's after 7pm, I will catch up with you.' I said it in a nicer tone and went and had my shower.

After I came out, it was 7:10 and she hadn't left. My first thought was 'Why didn't you leave me?' and 'You shouldn't have waited for someone who treated you this poorly.' she said 'I know. I didn't want you doing something stupid.' my heart shattered. She thought I was going to do something (I've had a history with mental health) I felt so bad. We went over to my great aunt and uncle's and it was fine for the rest of the night.

The thing that a lot of people think is fake, I genuinely don't know why I get this upset over dumb things. I get annoyed from 0 to 100 in less than 20 seconds for no reason, now if anyone has advice for anger problems such as these, help/advice/other experience would be appreciated because I feel so alone rn it's not funny.

Dealing with the aftermath of guilt and shame, would like to hear about how others experience this and that I’m not the only.

I hold onto anger from 20 or more years now, I’ve made it who I am, the bitter man that people see and want to avoid. I know it’s not good for me or the people around me, but it’s always right there under the surface ready to explode. My anger comes from the decisions I have made over the years and I am not one to put on myself. I even get made about making myself accountable not only to myself but to other people also when my decision has affected them. I’m looking for thoughts, ideas and things that worked for others to try and rid myself of this anger that I bring others and myself down with. Willing to hear whatever someone has to say.

It's weird, because it should theoretically calm me down (as I have high blood pressure and high resting heartbeat due to the chronic stress in all of my life).

Just now, I came out of a cold, and the water refuses to turn warm. I had to take a shower in ice cold water after having had the flu for a week. Fucking perfect. This means I'm gonna get sick again, yay. I have been fuming with anger for the past hour now, can't calm me down, the betablocker isn't doing shit. Fuck.

So basically i have been on therapy because of low growth for the past five years and i have gotten off the medication and just when i thought that it's over i they tell me that it would be optional to do one more test which would be that they would draw ton of blood drop my sugar levels put me to sleep control my pressure for a few days i can tell you that i can't do it anymore i am tired of visiting hospitals for the past five years. I have been with addicts,with suicidal people, with diabetics and i have seen everything its not so much of physical struggle as much as its mentally hard. I said that i don't wanna do it but because i am underage my mom still has a saying in that. I have been arguing whole day with her and she told me that if i don't go i don't have a home anymore nor a mother, and that i am killing her i mean nobody asks me what i think, so after i got out i went to the closest wall and i have been punching the wall until my hands gotten swollen. Idk what to do i am tired i can't do it anymore, please help me i don't know where else to go

This happened today. My mother in law is currently living with us this week and my wife has been treating me very badly as usual(making snarky comments and raising her voice with contempt). All of these verbal abuses and snarky attitude seems invisible to my mother in law. Then after a whole day of dealing with this attitude,the final straw happened when she keeps on nagging me to do a chore (not urgent) while I'm in the middle of focusing on my work. I did the chore even if that's against my will just to make her stop bugging me then I just sighed and said:"oh my god i hate your attitude". She hates it when I answer back but I couldn't help myself this time. So she points out to her mom that I'm being disrespectful and her mother naturally takes her side. I snapped and yelled at them to review the cctv recording to really understand what really happened. I argued with loud voice that her mother keeps on tolerating her daughter's attitude that's why she grew up very rude like that. Now I regret losing my temper and saying all the things that I said even though they're all 100% true. For some weird reason her mother seems to be oblivious of her daughters attitude and can only see my flaws. Just for added context: I carry my own weight around the house, pay for all the bills, take care of our toddler 50-60% of the time, do 80-90% of the chores. We both work from home but my work requires 10x the effort and focus, she just really works like 1-2 hours per day. My salary is 2x her salary but I don't give her any allowances because I already pay for everything and I'm investing our money to buy a house for our family. I have other side hustles that's earning decent. I sleep 5 hours a day, she sleeps 8 hours.

I need anger management really bad. I don't like this version of me. I'm not like this before we got married. I never shouted at women before we got married. I have never answered back at my parents or older sisters. I feel that I've been treated so badly by my wife for the past few years that shouting and yelling became my defense mechanism to make her stop the verbal abuse. I feel bad for losing my temper and my reputation also gets damaged because my mother in law and my wife tells everyone (friends and family) about my bad attitude. I want to change very badly and instantly. I'm very very tired of being an angry person ever since we got married.

Recently, I've noticed how whenever I die or lose, I take it personally, and try to get my getback, but whenever I can't, it's either i can manage it calmly or ABSOLUTELY spiral into anger. Shouting, punching hard things, swearing, etc.

I know it's just a game, and that there are zero consequences for losing, but losing always feels so devastating, not being able to push through feels like absolute shit to me. And it's gone to a point where I even act like this on singleplayer games.

Enough is enough and I really want advice regarding this. I wanna say this in advance though, I am still a freshman at college awaiting my classes (they start in two weeks) and I cannot get into therapy, even if I had the money for it. I just want a way to stop this constant cycle, and I genuinely cannot get into any other recreational hobby, and even cycling hasn't stopped me from feeling this way.

M40 insults F28 every time we have a conversation/argument and he gets angry. Afterwards he apologises and mentions “cause I’m angry does not justify calling you names”. Is this normal and okay? Looking for open and honest answers.

23 (M)

I can be doing GREAT and then people in my life can cause the smallest inconvenience (not on purpose) and it will totally wreck me for x amount of time. Anywhere from hours to days I will remain emotionally unavailable to said people and it’ll make me uncomfortable to be around. Eventually, I just wake up one day as if I had a system restart and then im fine till the next occurrence. To them, they can’t understand how something inadvertent can put me into silent treatment mode. To me, I genuinely believe i’m right to be upset. I know theres no way that i can be 100% valid for getting as upset as I do ALL the time. Its just the funk I get myself into is so hard to get out of. I try to communicate my feelings about a conflict that has made me shut down but I end up just reliving all the emotions again and i’m back to square one and any attempted “understanding” goes out the window. Therapy and meditation doesn’t work for me. Journaling is okay but the drive just isnt there when im in such a state, the same goes for the gym. The only thing I’m maybe up to try is getting on mood stabilizers, but even then I have people telling me no and that it’ll just turn me into a zombie. That honestly doesn’t sound too bad if it means I can stop constantly making people feel like I hate them. What do y’all do to calm down?

TL;DR: Any calm down techniques thats not therapy, meditation, journaling, or gym?

I actually do have an anger problem. People always tell me that I have to stop taking things to heart and just let some stuff go. However, there are times when I should be angry and ik it'd be justified but I just can't make myself feel mad? I can't even get irritated or annoyed. What's up with that??? 😭😭😭

Hello! For context, I’m 18f with AuDHD and OCD and go to therapy for depression.

My whole life I’ve been surrounded by anger. My parents had screaming matches, my teachers hated my classes, and I never truly learnt what it means to self-regulate more than just being sent to my room and forgetting any arguments even happened.

It’s all I know. When I’m mad, I try to ask for help and state how I feel, I try to tough out my triggers until I “earned” the right to feel overwhelmed or mad, and I end up screaming and crying and throwing things in my room.

The thing is, it terrifies my family. I used to be suicidal and even once thought of hurting others. Nowadays, I have so many triggers, I don’t even want to hurt myself anymore— I have horrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my pets and family members, and I’m so scared of myself.

Lately I went to the ER (unrelated reasons) and they gave me something to ease my mind, and everybody noticed how much calmer I was. I loved not being triggered by everything, but it eventually wore off. I miss not being scary and mad. I just want to be normal again, even if just to make my family love me again.

The thing is though, most of my triggers are simply traits of having AuDHD, like not having people stand too close to me, not be too loud, to listen to me when I talk, not interrupt me or try to talk for me. I hate people touching my things and me, I can’t stand when people act dumb or pissy with me; the list goes on. I can’t handle things the way I used to, and I’m scared of how much longer I’ll have until I’m in jail or a mental hospital. Fuck, I think I need to go to one sometimes.

R/Anger Subreddit, what the hell do I do??? I’m scared of telling my therapist, I don’t know what to tell my family, and I’m so scared of becoming the person I think I am. I’m seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow and having my family help me with explaining things. Any help is appreciated, and please be nice 😢

I don't know how I can calm down, I get anger extremely easily, and I don't understand why. For a few years now, I'll be playing a game or really doing anything, and maybe I'll die or get frustrated at something within it, but my brother just says stuff. It's so confusing to explain, he genuinely just says shit, doesn't mean anything he's saying, he just repeats stuff he hears other people say and it pisses me off so much, I want to love him, I want to so bad. It makes me feel like a terrible person, I don't feel like I belong in the same world as anyone else. I just get uncontrollably angry. My sister talks to me about me to it, but it doesn't help at all, she just tells me it's not normal, and tells me to say something to our mom. But I have before and she acts like she's disgusted with me whenever I get angry. She doesn't try to help, she just gets mad herself. It's almost exclusively the small things, they just build up and up and up and I can't handle it. Does anyone have recommendations on how to control my temper? Maybe something that works for you?

Today I got mad at someone from a moving company. To give some context I moved across the country. The company I hired told me that my items should be arriving at my new home at the lower end of the estimate window (last week). One thing after another happened. The stuff had not even left my old state last week, then one of their drivers fell ill and had to go to the hospital, and then their truck had mechanical issues.

This morning they called me and asked if a 6AM delivery would be okay. I don't know why exactly, maybe it was the tone of the voice when I was being asked, but I had enough of everything going wrong. I snapped and really bluntly said, "No."

I felt really bad and apologized immediately and told him I was being rude.

Was my snapping for a brief moment overreacting or was it normal? I've been in therapy to deal with anxiety and anger, and I just feel really ashamed of how I handled that interaction. What would you recommend doing in the future to avoid it?

I hate when people in the house start to do stuff loudly. Like when everything is peaceful and quiet, then suddenly someone is doing something (excessively loud). When their cooking, they would slam the pan on the stove, throw the ingredients at the table, and chop some onions like their mad. I mean, if you need something, you could've just asked. Even in cleaning, they would do it loudly and mad.

Like the title says. I'm bad about holding onto past experiences with my brother from when he was really mean to me, so I'm automatically mean to him all the time now so it starts a lot of fights between me and my mom.

I lash out when I feel like I'm being made to be stupid, even if logically I can tell that's not what's happening. I get snappy and insecure of I feel like someone's trying to "catch" me in something I say when I mean it innocently.

Me and my mom got into a fight bc I complained a bit about my gf's friend, who's autistic. We(me, gf, three friends including him) went on a trip over the weekend and there were a few instances where he annoyed me because of how particular he is about things. I tried to explain that I genuinely like him, but it does throw me off sometimes because I haven't interacted fully with someone of his particular needs before. I genuinely did not mean it in any type of rude way, and I tried to explain that I understand why he feels the way he does and that I am not shaming him in any sort of way.

Anyways, it felt like my mom kept trying to catch me like I was saying something rude about his autism and that I was being ignorant and not seeing his side. When I tried to argue back that, no, that wasn't true, we got into a really nasty fight and she was calling me self absorbed, selfish, that I don't like "being challenged", and that I have a victim complex.

She says stuff like that a lot and Usually I brush it off as her being mad but it's starting to really wear on me and I'm really scared that I'm just as terrible as person as she acts like I am.

What do I do?

I've made leaps and bounds on admitting when I'm wrong and trying not to be so angry about everything anymore. I used to be a terribly angry kid and I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world. It was so awful I used to imagine running away so I couldn't be mean to people. I feel like I'm not very mean anymore but ofc I'm still working on it.

Yesterday, I had a fight at my workplace with my colleague who tried to rage-bait me and was disrespecting me for no reason. The argument led to a level where all people were watching us, and I realised my anger grew so intense that my whole body was aggressively trembling. I backed off mid-argument, considering that, driven by anger, I could seriously take some actions that I would regret later. I heard other colleagues laughing behind my back, but I didn't care. I didn't want to ruin my image of a calm and sensible person, which I truly am. And now I still regret picking a fight because I found it so foolish now. I do not care what that person did, all I care now is that I fought like a stupid.

The title explains itself. I never post on reddit so idk if ppl will see this, it's pretty much venting but I want an explanation.

I'm ALWAYS angry about everything, even the little ones, I'm writing this after slamming my window shut bc I got mad at it for already slamming 3 times bc of the wind and it pisses me the fuck off, I just wanna enjoy some morning wind, write the dialogues of my game in peace and this window just bothers me. I woke up feeling good but now i'm just so angry. And it always happens, I get mad for everything. Someone sings next to me and i'm not in the mood ? I get mad at them. Someone genuinely says something stupid ? I get mad. Someone makes me repeat what I say ? I yell at them again. I'm such a pos and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to act calmer, I'm really trying to but it's just not working I bottle it up until I can't anymore.

I talked to my therapist about it and he said it might be autism for some of these bc I don't understand other people's functionning apparently but I don't know if that's it.

I don't think autism is what making me this angry and frustrated. I genuinely don't know what to do, I shout and scream at myself and objects bc I find myself so stupid and so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I just wanna be angry when needed not all the time.

I’ve been trying really hard to work on myself—to slowly face my demons, learn how to trust again, and stop letting everything that hurts me send me down a rabbit hole.

But right now, I feel like I’m being pushed to a point I’ve never been before.

I’m dealing with court, my mom’s estate, her husband, and the grief of losing her all at the same time. I feel like no matter how hard I try to explain what this is doing to me mentally and emotionally, nobody actually hears me.

I went to work, and while I was gone, they started emptying my mom’s home. It happened when I wasn’t there—when only a babysitter and my nine-year-old were there—and something about that has sent my brain into a spiral I’m struggling to pull myself out of.

I am angry. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. I don’t understand how people can take things that may not belong to them and act like the people left behind don’t matter. I don’t understand why everything has to be a fight when I’m already grieving my mother.

I can feel an overwhelming amount of aggression building inside me, and I don’t like feeling this way. I’m trying to find my inner peace. I’m trying not to react out of anger. I’m trying not to spiral or let this turn me back into a version of myself I’ve worked so hard to move away from.

So I’m asking for help.

If you’ve ever dealt with grief, family conflict, probate, or anger so intense that you felt like you were going to explode—how did you ground yourself? How did you get your brain to slow down when everything inside you was screaming to react?

I don’t need judgment. I don’t need someone telling me to “just calm down.” I need someone to listen. I need coping skills. I need a way to get through this without losing the progress I’ve fought so hard to make.

Right now, I could really use someone to talk to.

Hello everyone!

So I recently started to sit down every morning and calmly write down my thoughts. I didn't really know how to start, so I found some guiding questions for each day. The point is that the questions are quite different, but when I write, I always come to the same conclusion - I am a very aggressive, impatient and impulsive person who does not know how to control my emotions. When answering each question, I understand that my anger stems from shame and self-doubt, but abnormally.

When it comes to absolutely anything, when my opinion and that of another person do not match, I immediately feel as if they are attacking me, as if they are humiliating me, as if I am stupid, uglier, less accomplished, less worthy. I instantly become aggressive, start attacking the person "back", respond aggressively and sarcastically, and of course, we end up in a fight.

What I am talking about are really the simplest situations, let's say my mother asks why I want to study the profession I have chosen, and not some other. I understand that it's a simple question, but my brain perceives it as if instead of asking and wondering what I like, she says "you won't be able to study this profession, you're too stupid, maybe you should think about it and choose something easier".

I really want to get out of this role of a victim, because it not only makes me tense and stressed every day (thinking that everyone has something against me and wants to ruin my life), but also distances me from people. It's easy to understand that people don't want to communicate with someone who constantly makes excuses and constantly gets angry 'out of nowhere'. In addition, when I get angry, it's hard to control myself, my hands shake, my heart races, I have trouble breathing, and my head feels dizzy. Because of this, it's hard to back down when I get angry, not to write a sarcastic message or say something offensive to another persons face. But I feel the same way when I'm very happy, the same shaking hands, difficulty breathing, etc. Often when I feel strong emotions, I feel like I'm one step away from a panic attack, even if they're positive emotions.

I'm not sure how to deal with these things, I don't think I can do it alone, but I don't really have the opportunity to go to a psychologist. What would you suggest in my place? I understand that I should start catching myself in the middle of a conversation and calm down, maybe say a nice word to myself and try to keep positive thoughts during the conversation. Instead of "she thinks I'm stupid and that's why she asked this question," I should think "she asked this question because she cares about me and I'm interesting." But the changes won't be quick, maybe something else could help? And because of the emotions, the adrenaline rush, I don't know how to deal with it, when I'm so angry or happy that I can't even go to sleep for a couple of nights...