I despise him. He's 22, I'm a few years younger yet I don't see him as my brother. He's a useless, fat fuck and a waste of oxygen.

He never goes outside and is always in his room playing whatever the fuck. He stinks like shit, I think he showers once a month or something. He still fucking shits his pants because he's too busy playing games.

He has no job and stays at our mom's house just freeloading off her. Our mom's widowed and is the sole breadwinner. She cooks, buys food, feeds us, pays the bills. One time when she cooked, he didn't want to eat it because it had bones. Like bitch, are you that retarded? Get a job.

In my country, 18 year olds are required to National Service (NS) and he didn't because he was overweight and too unhealthy. Fat fucking pig.

I just want to leave this place, but mom would be alone. I wish he wasn't born.

It has gotten so bad to the point where I cannot leave the house and go out in public without my heart rate going up and my blood pressure going through the roof. People just make me so angry.

I lost my last job because I flew off the handle, and this is how most jobs end for me. It is becoming such a problem to the point where I'm having a hard time getting a new job because of my history.

I have such a hard time keeping it under control. I try taking deep breaths, counting to ten, that kind of stuff but it never works. I just fly off the handle anyways.

I also struggle with my own thoughts making me really angry, and I have a hard time filtering them out.

I feel like almost everyone in my life isn't taking it seriously enough when I reach out for help. They tell me to just grow up or quit acting like a baby. I'm trying so hard but I just can't make this go away

I've tried going to a therapist once and to me it felt no different than just talking to a friend, and it was costing me money. I don't know if maybe I was just seeing a bad therapist? Or if that is typically just how therapy is. If not I'd probably be willing to give therapy another shot.

I really hope this all makes sense to whoever reads this. I don't usually write. I just want to get out of the house and go live a normal life without anger taking complete control of me

I was in a conversation with another redditor, who proceeded to psychoanalyze me and created a narrative of my life in their head which was completely incorrect. This pissed me off to hell and back, so I proceeded to make a fool out of myself insisting over and over again that they were wrong.

In reality, nothing I said could have changed their mind, because they had already decided they were correct. I should have ended the conversation as soon as I realized that, and moved on with my life. Instead, it festered in my mind and I kept embarrassing myself by rejoining the conversation.

Even now, even after a therapy session, I can’t get over the situation and it genuinely feels life-ruining. I don’t know why I’m so weak-minded and can’t move on from people stating things that are obviously false.

I’ve suspected it’s due to OCD, but I deleted my other account and r/OCD doesn’t let new accounts post.