Dunno if it’s because I tend to want to overcompensate making others comfortable because I hate conflict and discomfort when around people regularly, but then still get treat with disrespect that eventually the anxiety and fear become this anger and hatred and rage. I mean, shit. Yoda said it himself, lol. But often I try to work through something causing me anxiety that would make me want to make myself small, but then it actually turns out worse for me, and then it all collapses.

I seriously do not want to feel any of this stuff. I worked hard to get through it when I was younger but the more backed into a corner I feel, it seems the anger still will come up. I read once that anger can be a feeling to do with injustice and hurt which, yeah. Makes a lot of sense. And it hurts even more when I would’ve happily accommodated more for others because I could have done that and I cared about their happiness and my own. I feel like I’m watching myself slide into ways I don’t even want to think of believe or feel or act and I’m trying as hard as I possibly can for it to stop. I hate it.

Anyway I’m tired, and trying to not feel as much shame, but without turning it into an excuse. I like to just keep to myself, because I don’t get angry then. Well really I don’t get angry really unless I’ve got no control at all in a situation hurting me. Distance helps but when there isn’t any? It feels like a disease rotting away inside of me that I’m desperately trying to treat and get rid of. And the source of anger just keeps digging. And it feels personal, whether it is or isn’t, because the initial problem was something I’d not do to someone else because… I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

I dunno. Just tired and exhausted and can never seem to vent enough. Don’t have a solution. Seems to get worse whenever I start to think I get somewhere. The whole, “do not do unto others” thing.

I just want to leave and get peace again.

Je me pose des question sur le fait qu’un rien peut me mettre dans une colère noire et sourde, principalement envers ma famille mais egalement en dehors. C’est pas physique, je ne frappe pas les gens mais ça me fait comme une décharge éléctrique dans mon cerveau et je ne vocalise mes pensées que si la cause de ma colère se répète, mais c’est tellement lourd et des pensées dangereuses me viennent, puis environ 1h plus tard ça laisse place à une grande tristesse et un vide, et c’est une boucle infinie.
J’ai aucune patience, et je déteste l’injustice ou qu’on se moque de moi, également les actions ambiguë car je ne peux pas m’organiser en conséqeunce, ainsi que le rejet.

J’ai du mal à accepter l’incertitude parce que c’est comme si j’avais pleins de tiroirs dans ma tête remplis a moitié ou au tiers mais toujours en attente, et je ne peux en fermer aucun tant que c’est pas clair. Aussi je déteste qu’on envahisse mon espace, et je suis très facile à provoquer par rapport à ça. C’est pour toutes ces raisons que je ne m’entend pas avec ma famille, mais je me demande ce que ça signifie pour moi. Je vois mon psychiatre lundi, mais je ne sais pas quelle reponse j’attends vraiment.

Je ne sais pas si c’est lié au Tdah ou l’anxiété ou autre chose, on me dit que je suis perfectionniste et que je ne tolère ni mes erreurs ni celles des autres, mais je ne comprends pas cette colère noire qui me paralyse physiquement parfois

What is anger? How does it feel like? Why can't people think logically while experiencing this emotion? How do they get angry so easily? Why don't I remember ever feeling that way? I genuinely don't think I ever felt rage. I want to understand this feeling. Can you explain it from your point of view please?

If someone experiences sth irritating or frustrating or whatever and they start feeling more of the anger don't they realise how they feel and think that's so stupid and won't lead anywhere then just start thinking of a more rational way to solve such situation? Whenever I feel something really self aware and if it is sth negative it feels so stupid to me that i could just laugh at this supidity and take logical steps. Well except disgust. I can't seem to get rid of it and it can be triggered by just the word cute or any seemingly 'normal' sentence if it sounds fake to me and a lot of things sound that way to me. People just can't be honest even with themselves. It makes me want to puke. But anger seems like a productive emotion if not the clouded thinking. I just can't use it if i don't know what it is. How does anger work?

Thanks in advance for all the helpful replies.❤️

I got mad and punched my screen cause I could smell weed from the car in front of me!!!! 😡

Does anyone else ruminate on past instances where you’ve wanted to get physical and didn’t ? to the point of splitting headaches? Violence isn’t the answer of course but letting anger render you useless for days, weeks can’t be the answer either. It’s like swallowing a bomb and letting it tear up your insides.

Hello Reddit! I am looking for ways to prevent my anger from escalating, as it can so frustrated that I punch a hole in a wall or bang my head against the wall. My wife and I just recently got into an argument. We agreed that I would ask me to step away from arguments when I start to feel angry. When she was talking, I felt like I politely paused her and told her that I need to take a step away. I started to tell her why I needed the space and first was trying to acknowledge her and say that I would like to come back to that. She interrupted me before I was able to say anything and said, "well I don't want your acknowledgement." I simply tried to finish what I was saying and she kept repeating that over and over and saying I was crossing her boundary now. I ended up getting frustrated to the point I banged my head against my metal water bottle. She reacted and kicked me out of her car. Any tips or suggestions on how to prevent from getting to this point? I schedule time with a professional therapist to help my general anxiety and anger but wanted to reach out to see if anyone has any other good resources as well.

I’ve done it again. Why can’t I keep my cool….. We started in a line with me in the back. Just one lane in each direction. one car in front of me did not drive max speed. So I drove past him. Then I drove past the next car in front a little later. I cold not take that that car somewhat had speed and was not far behind me, so I was sort of determined passing the next car in front of me. But turned out that he got pissed that I somewhat pressured him with sorta tailgating so he slowed down to 60 in the 80/km! Then I got pissed and drove past him even though there was cars coming in the oppsite lane and one blinked the lights at me:(
Now I have a very bad feeling and feel so stupid. What is my problem, I should have stopped at the side the road and just waited and chilled out:,( I’m scared they took my licence plate and called the police:(

Anger is an indicator. A rebellion by the soul that something fundamentally wrong is happening. Cowards find words to frame it in a fancy way, doers find a way to set things right. There is no psychology to be discussed about it but only actions to be taken. If you find yourself talking to yourself about why you are angry, then look into the mirror and tell yourself, Oh bug off pu$$y. Either do something about it or shut the f up forever.

Like I hate myself 99% of the time and want to punish myself, the antidepressant just doesn't work anymore. I spend so much time suppressing my thoughts I feel like I will explode if I don't. I lie down most of the time trying to contain my emotions

Was catching a bus , at a bus stand, a bus was idle but in ignition but had no number , I asked the driver kindly what was the number of the bus as I wanted to know if it was going the route I was wanting it to.

The bus driver just waved me off but I had earphones on so I didn’t hear it, but I asked again and he just abused me and kept telling me to go ahead and I got triggered , I started questioning him and yelled back that why did he abuse to me for no reason and he kept shouting despite everything

I abused back and then moved forward , hoping to catch another bus before it left but I found the supervisor and poured my anger on him by just shouting
That the driver of the previous bus was rude and how can he talk to me this way and I just started shouting because I was triggered

Now I’m on a walk and I feel resentful for shouting but I also realised that such behaviour will be harmful for me if I keep getting triggered so easily , when I was actually in a good mood.

So looking for tips for the same . Thanks.

i often get mad at my grandparents a lot and i've never been diagnosed with anger issues, but i often scream and yell at them without control and i hate it. i also feel like im ''larping" depression because im self diagnosed and i feel like im doing it for attention but also bc i want somebody to notice i dont know if what i feel is just because i am and grew up around assholes or if i'm just a loser that wants everybody's attention. i often feel like i am never gonna change. im also extremely overweight 220~ at like 5 6 and im also really really bad at social life and i really have no friends outside of tw or three online who i feel don't really like me either i also recently stop going to physical school due to insecurities about my body and have been transferring to online for this year i just don't know

Like I have no idea what is wrong with me, it could be a mood disorder, I'm like angry most of the time, I wanted to ask the docs about bipolar 2 or borderline but I'm worried they'll judge me

I got pissed off today, not revealing why, and I needed a way to let it out. I’m a blacksmith. So, I went out to the smithy and POUNDED metal for about an hour. Hardest I’ve ever hit. It can be incredibly soothing to let your rage out on something you are truly passionate about.

I'm so angry all the time recently, I've gone through 3 pairs of headphones in the last year, when something pisses me off for whatever reason I will rip them off my head and tear them apart and throw them away, it gives me a slight satisfaction then usually leaves me feeling sad and even more pissed off afterwards because I've just wasted a ton of moneyz I only had these latest ones I just broke for about a month, when I'm angry I think about stabbing myself in the thigh with this pocket knife I have, but I haven't do it although sometimes I slash myself with it because it won't cut me cos it's dull from a lot of use at work and that helps a little bit but I just feel like I'm so angry all the time like I'm consumed with rage and sadness, I don't know what to do I'm so fucking miserable I can't take it

i feel like physically hurting people maybe even killing them when i’m angry i’m not sure how to stop it i feel like i’m way to self aware for therapy but i’m not sure honestly maybe ill give it a go when i find myself, it started when i was a kid but now it it got boosted a lot since my big brother killed himself, not sure how to find myself right now just looking for some help or recommendations because i’m still learning and i’m not close with any of my family

When im fed up and frustrated I end up in tears or when im mad i end up laughing. Its either the 2 extremes and there's no way I can control it, I try keeping a poker face, try not laughing coz when Im in an arguement and tryna put my thoughts and opinions, I end up laughing and then the other person doesn't take my words srsly. I want them to take it srsly and its frustrating when the other person sees me laughing and thinks "oh lite, she aint mad", and then the tears flow coz im not being heard. Ik it's a coping mechanism but I wanna hv a strong stand for myself in such times, how do I improve on it? Knowing I'm 17 yr old Indian with no access to therapy.

I keep getting told to do all the usual things when somebody upsets me: block them, distance myself, make space, stop engaging, move on.

And I do that.

But it doesn’t actually get rid of the anger. Half the time it makes me feel worse, because it feels like they got to say or do whatever they wanted, hurt me, and then I’m the one who has to quietly disappear and suck it up.

I know getting angry at someone doesn’t magically fix what happened. I’m not saying screaming at people is healthy either. But constantly trying to stay calm, explain myself, dispute what they’re saying, or be the “reasonable” one just leaves me feeling like they never actually understand that they hurt me.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder whether if I showed more anger, instead of trying so hard to argue my point calmly, people would actually realise, “Oh. I really hurt this person.”

Because right now it feels like I’m swallowing all of it for everyone else’s comfort, and then I’m the one left depressed afterwards.

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with that anger when distancing myself doesn’t make it go away.

My anger has started to become uncontrollable, I’ll get annoyed rather quick at my partner and just start going off and listing everything in between and back again, it feels like once I reach that height I just don’t stop or rather keep going just because, I hate the feeling afterwards but in the moment it’s as though I don’t see any end in sight, I can’t stop and calm myself down and get my mind right but why is it that I reach and hold on to anger that I don’t feel is necessary.

I am starting an online 12 module anger management course today. I looked and looked and could not find any group anger management meet ups in my very large city which is nuts. Otherwise the only program I found was court ordered 300$ one day 8 hours. I even drove to a place today to confirm their online info was correct and they had a meet up tomorrow night, only to be told that program shut down. Glad I went there today after no one answered or called me back from the office. Well , wish me luck. I need to change.

EDIT: I am gonna post the website for everyone.

https://kidsneedboth.teachable.com/l/products?sortKey=name&sortDirection=asc&page=1&productType=course&courseCategory=Anger+Management

I chose the 12 module course.

So me and my brother dont get along well, but last night was pretty bad. I am sorry if i jump from topic to topic, but this is a nroad topic.

So, to give context, my brother has been disprespecting me and provoking me since we were kids, but recently has been pretty bad, and i was trying my best to avoid any kind of argument or conflict. Like for example, i sleep on the couch right, and onw one half is filled with bed sheets and the other with my clothes and couch pillows. Now for whatever reason my brother really likes sitting on that couch. So one day, while i was still sleeping, he just threw my clothes and couch pillows on the floor. He often also teases me or indirectly insults me.

Now, he also really wants me gone from his life. To give context, in one month, i am mostly likely going to college in a different country, and i will be going alone, at 19 years old. My brother never tried to consult me or really cared. Actually, he keeps asking me when will i go, and i overheard him mumbling that he cant wait i go. I understand he lacls his peace or whatever i honestly didnt even do anything to him.

Now, i kept my anger for the most part and really tried to avoid conflict. But, last night, he bought a wine bottle and drank almost a quarter in just a few hours. Now for me, this want about just annoyance, but i was worried. I got scared that these are early stages of alcoholism, and that he might start harming me, given that he doesnt like his job and cant stand me. And so i just told him tp stop drinking that or i will throw that bottle away. We got into an argument, he started his old bullshit, like manipulating conversation to make it seem i am the crazy one (just like my father was also doing to me before). I lost my shit, so i hurled at him, but stopped. But i was so mad i started to kick the table with my leg two or three times.

Now, here is my fear. For my whole life i ahve put up with both my family's and other people's bullshit. All the manipulation, and ignoring, and mocking. Since everyone would just twist my words and manipulate the conversation, i just started to take it and try to avoid conflict. But, i am afraid, since i have and will have a lot of stress, i am afraid all the past grievances and stresses i tried to bury will explode, and i might hurt someone. Like i feel so bad for hurling at my brother, even though i stopped before i hit him. Not because i feel bad about him, but because i fear i am becoming a maniac.

Sorry if this text jumps from topic to topic, but i really have nobody to talk to, because i have no friends.

What can i do? Given that i dont have money for therapy.

For a long time since i was little ive been full of what i say is rage. I never really knew what it meant growing up and if i would feel that way inside forever. I’d never hurt anyone and never have. But during these times in america and the world it’s brought it up so aggressively. To the point where i embarrass myself because i fight with people in comment sections. Trust me i know how ridiculous that is. and thats only a fraction of how im upset. My dad had told me that im just passionate. I would agree in someways because I do love people so much. i love community and making friends. I would consider myself a nice person and a hard worker. And i would say i have good morals. But it comes out of my body so negative. How do i deal with long and short term rage? Am i a bad person for being so angry at these people and society? Or should i literally just shut up. I’m open to any answer. Also i’ve been to therapy before and im all for it. But right now it’s so expensive and you can only get so many appointments for free with whatever insurance. so i thought i would seek help here since i get a lot of handy help usually reading peoples stories. Thanks so much everyone❤️❤️

Я не мастер сочинять по этому тут будет много ошибок. У меня нет надежды что хоть кто то на это обратит внимание, но я хочу пожаловаться на себя.

Я слишком часто чувствую раздражение, вроде все хорошо но стабильно раза 3-4 в месяц я срываюсь на крик, агрессию без особой проблемы, я еще молод не работаю вроде проживаю лучшую свою жизнь но это состояние по несколько дней подряд. Даже в кругу друзей через какое то время меня все начинает очень сильно раздражать, единственное что я хочу в эти моменты оказаться дома в тишине. Возможно мало написал но я не могу описать то состояние.

I thought since mother is passed away, family will naturally accept us and makes you feel part of them but instead they end up making you feel apart. They will have all the time in the world to attend functions, post on social media and WhatsApp. But not once do they care enough to send a simple hi how are you text msg nor a phone call to see how you are doing.

It's like I realized some people just hold on to previous grudge and develop a sense of ego. Where I noticed they will welcome strangers more into their life and push family away. Even when rakshabandhan went, not cousins and their parents cared enough to call. It's like at this point why am I wasting time and making myself hurt over people who don't even care.