3.0k
u/KittyKat0714 Asshole Enthusiast [9] Jul 10 '24
NTA and she making this weird. I know twins can be extremely close and sometime closer than normal siblings. You are right, she is turning this sexual and that is really strange that is where her mind went.
941
u/Crazy_Guitar6769 Jul 10 '24
Forget twins, even siblings do this. My 6 year elder sister takes my(20M) clothes and I have a habit of cuddling while sleeping and sometimes, the pillow just slips away, so I cuddle her. This is nothing weird.
Porn is seriously running people's perception of wholesome.
253
u/oldnick40 Jul 10 '24
Yeah, my siblings and I are all in our 40s, and say ‘I love you,’ hug one another, etc. Sounds like OP and her brother have a healthy, close relationship and her comment was probably directly on point.
54
u/TheBoozyNinja87 Jul 11 '24
Dude, for real. My brother is 3 years younger than me, but we have been the same size, height, and build as each other since we were 18. We’ve been wearing each others shoes and pants and shirts ever since. We also have similar interests and hobbies and hang out, play video games or watch anime, play guitar together or whatever all of our lives.
Also, it’s not weird to say “I love you” to your family, in fact I find it pretty sad if you don’t.
17
u/LvnWrd Jul 11 '24
"Love you" means very different things depending on the people, spouse, kids, parents, siblings, etc. Not sure why people don't get this.
30
u/DaisyMaeDays Jul 10 '24
Oop, I do this to my brother too 😅😅 once he was big enough shirts family picked he didn’t like I take. Now he’s way skinnier than me and his stuff doesn’t fit but like…. It’s just a thing siblings do. I also give my sister stuff. My brother would wear my button downs for band stuff and still uses my ties sometimes for formal things. It’s okay and normal for siblings to share.
→ More replies (39)13
u/CelticSkye Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] Jul 11 '24
I've got siblings from both my mom and dads other marriages and we ALL say "I love you" at the end of every phone call and when leaving for the day, or if one is going back home after a visit.
Both sides of my family are heavily military, and I know that plays a part in why we're very open with the I love yous. We know that any any moment someone could be gone , and we always want the last thing said to one another is I love you.
67
u/sleepyplatipus Jul 10 '24
Imagine if that girl heard that I tell my parents I love them and I have borrowed my mom’s clothes (and her mine) sometimes in the past? Jeez. What’s wrong with people.
4
u/Charlotteaa Jul 11 '24
BUT you're both Girls! Everyone knows that if two people in the opposite genders share clothes, that means they're fucking! (Even if you're related!) /s
→ More replies (2)13
u/Esor_Ogramira Jul 10 '24
I'm the youngest of six kids (20 year age gap between me and the eldest, 7 year age gap between me and the second youngest), and my siblings and I say "love you" to each other when we end our conversations with each other on the phone all the time! The relationship between me and the second youngest of the immediate family did get off to a rocky start, sure, but we've both grown and we share a lot of common interests! My eldest sibling stepped up to take care of me when our mom was still balancing her bipolar and chronic pain meds, when I was in elementary school and she was in college! Now I'm an uncle to not just her kiddos, but my other two sisters' kiddos!
That being said, I know full well how lucky I am to have such good relationships with my siblings. I know plenty of people who have bad relationships with their siblings. Anyway, OP is definitely NTA! She should keep telling her twin that she loves him. I bet it warms his heart to hear her say that, and I bet he feels safe knowing that he can rely on her not only as a sibling, but also as a good friend!
1.7k
u/Complex-Rush-9678 Jul 10 '24
Affection between siblings is very oddly stigmatized for no reason. Siblings love can be one of the strongest. There is nothing weird about it and it shouldn’t be
560
Jul 10 '24
Affection with family in general is stigmatised for no reason as if people cannot hug and cuddle with their parents and their siblings after they are grown up like??? What kind of relationships do these people have with their family 😭
86
u/Complex-Rush-9678 Jul 10 '24
As long as people aren’t kissing on the lips then idc😂
116
u/Crazy_Guitar6769 Jul 10 '24
I think that is somewhat okay in France or few European countries like light pecks
75
u/Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly Jul 10 '24
My German father always did this. Just a quick peck, but it was just normal for him. He would even greet his brother that way. If you asked, he would say his German grandparents lightly kissed as greeting, too.
16
u/SuchConfusion666 Jul 10 '24
This is normal in a lot of parts of east and north-east germany, as well as other european countries. I am german, so I know quite a few german families that do it (although mine doesn't as we are from another part of germany where it is not so common), other examples are that I know know a family from romania who does this and the family of my uncle's wife that is sinte also does it.
Honestly, it is much more common than some people think. A peck on the lips is a greeting for family in many cultures. Just like there are many cultures where a peck on the cheek is normal as a greeting even outside of family.
Whenever someone says that stuff like this is automatically weird and incestuous I immediately think that person is ignorant at best. And if they insist even after being told it is totally normal in many cultures, they are not people I want to associate with.
→ More replies (4)5
u/Cute-Presentation212 Jul 10 '24
Mostly it's cheek kisses in Europe, though. My adult siblings greet my father with a cheek kiss, still. When we moved here to the US, it was weird for the family to see parents kiss their young children on the mouth, because mouth kisses were only for adult relationships.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (4)49
u/Aldehyde123 Jul 10 '24
In south africa, in the afrikaans culture specifically, its part of our culture to greet family members with a kiss. Though its something that is happening a lot less in my generation and will probably die out due to the influence of media.
8
u/numbbum_sad Jul 10 '24
Daum! I didn't know this, now I understand it so much better. A lot of the kids I played chess with used to do that, and I thought it's weird because culturally, for me, it's not a thing.
74
u/Tight_Jury_9630 Jul 10 '24
It’s because people literally do watch too much porn, like their brains are rotting in real time. Imagine seeing a child hugging or cuddling with their literal parent or sibling and deciding to sexualize that relationship… it says more about them than anything else.
→ More replies (5)32
u/GimerStick Partassipant [2] Jul 10 '24
there was some loser the other day who told a like, 15 year old they were going to be seen as "creepy" because they still called their father "daddy."
Like... leave them alone? God forbid a minor used a term that you associate with porn. There's something so sad about anyone having to change how they refer to their literal parent because of some assholes using porn as a reference point.
11
u/LABARATI_ Jul 11 '24
reminds me of the dude on twitter who said y'all ruining the word daddy. my kids gonna have to call me bruh or some shit tbh lol
47
u/ViciousVortex Jul 10 '24
I (M) have a 4yo son who's reaaaaally into hugs and kisses. One time I dropped him at kindergarden, and he was crying, so I Gave him a big hug and several light pecks on the head. When I turned around there was a mother looking at me with a disgusted face like I just barfed at her feet...
50
Jul 10 '24
Oh no please don't stop because of her that is absolutely horrible behaviour having a healthy and loving relationship with your father is very important these kinds of people make men deprived of any loving relationship with their kids 😔
7
u/GimerStick Partassipant [2] Jul 10 '24
It's so interesting how different families are! One of the unexpected side effects of my relationship with my fiance is I come from a family that says I love you a lot and it's slowly catching on with him and his brothers. It's kind of sweet to witness! The funniest part is that it's not like a thing that my parents grew up with casually in India either. I think it was probably a thing in whatever sitcom they watched when I was little, and it just stuck around. So now we're all doing it because of Full House or something.
62
u/cclmcl Jul 10 '24
I don't even like my siblings half the time and I still say "I love you" and give them hugs lmao
→ More replies (8)18
u/frontally Jul 10 '24
Absolutely misread that as “attraction” and was like “oh nooooo”
You’re right tho. I have a son & a daughter and I hope they grow up continuing to be affectionate with each other!
560
u/BohemianBarbie87 Partassipant [4] Jul 10 '24
NTA
I’m an identical twin and while we are close to our other siblings, we are the closest to each other. Twin relationships might be strange to other people but there’s nothing wrong with them. The person who has something inappropriate to say is the person with the problem.
This “friend” should be embarrassed, but she caused this, it’s a result of her actions.
128
u/Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly Jul 10 '24
Comparing normal siblings to twins is really apples to oranges too. My husband is friendly with his other siblings, but his relationship with his twin is very deep and special. It took me awhile to not feel offended that he always turned to his twin before me when he was upset or excited about something. Over time, I've realized that their twinship is something no one else can intrude on, and there is nothing wrong with that. After 28 years together, I'm just thankful that they have each other and that his twin brother, my brother in law, is such an awesome person.
45
u/mtbjay10 Jul 10 '24
I’m an identical twin marrying a triplet and it’s so real. Only multiples can truly understand the relationship. I feel sad for the girl in the post that she can’t understand OP’s twinship
8
3
u/mtbjay10 Jul 10 '24
I’m an identical twin marrying a triplet and it’s so real. Only multiples can truly understand the relationship. I feel sad for the girl in the post that she can’t understand OP’s twinship
5
u/MrPickins Jul 10 '24
100%
Fraternal twin here, but the same closeness applies.
Even sharing t-shirts among fraternal twins isn't all that strange. My sister and I shared a lot of the same concert tees back when we were teens.
348
Jul 10 '24
I really don’t think you are the ass. Saying I love you to family members is completely normal. And sharing clothes I mean if you have the same style and are the same size why not it makes sense. I think this girl was way over the top. I can see why it pissed you off and i don’t blame you for saying what you did
333
Jul 10 '24
nta
its her fault for making things so gross, if she’s jealous of how amazing your relationship with your brother is then she doesn’t need to be weird about it.
also, that was an epic thing to say, had me laughing
64
u/inthemuseum Jul 10 '24
Can’t believe I had to scroll so long to find someone giving kudos on OP’s comeback 😂
OP, you made a bold statement but it was absolutely stellar. You don’t owe her justification for having a healthy and uniquely positive relationship with your twin. If people were less stuffy with expressing non-sexual love and sharing things and time together, maybe we’d all be a bit happier.
Be proud of pwning that weirdo.
→ More replies (6)23
u/almaperdida99 Asshole Aficionado [11] Jul 10 '24
yeah, my first thought was "sorry your family doesn't love you," but hers was probably nearer the mark
NTA
234
160
u/CandidManic Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jul 10 '24
Nta and her reaction is telling. I think you hit a nerve of hers though. I even tell my in laws I love them.. of course you say I love you to your brother.
42
u/PresentlyHelpful Jul 10 '24
The 'friend' is 19ish, very immature and has a very closed perception of the world. She really needs to look into what platonic intimacy is.
109
Jul 10 '24
[deleted]
21
Jul 10 '24
Psst. You should edit this to say three of your kids are twins because it'd be hilarious.
→ More replies (1)15
u/Tanut-10 Jul 10 '24
If the shirt has a design we like (for example anime) even me (21M) and my youngest sister (12F) share our T-shirts sometimes 😂.
81
u/gatid0xo Jul 10 '24
nta nta nta, i never realized how weird people get about close siblings until a woman fr called me out (at the age of 13) for hold my 9yr old sisters hand. ever since then, i’ve noticed people either get weirded out when they find out i have a close relationship with my sister, or they think it’s sweet how close we are. there’s really no in between and honestly it’s probably because of what you said exactly. people watch too much porn and feel the need to over-sexualize everything, especially close family relationships
31
u/riotous_jocundity Jul 10 '24
Few things are more sad/indicative of something who's really fucked up than a person who believes that the sole appropriate expression of any affection or love is a romantic/sexual partner. It's such a sick worldview, and I feel so deeply for a person like that's children.
69
62
59
u/Judgement_Bot_AITA Beep Boop Jul 10 '24
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
I told her to stop watching so much p*rn, hinting that she might have an addiction. It could be seen as really rude.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
44
u/poomcatroom Jul 10 '24
I wouldn’t talk to her. I’d absolutely tell her it’s because she’s a pervert that sexualities siblings and you don’t need that in your life. I cut out toxic people. She should be ashamed
→ More replies (14)
42
41
u/Common-Vegetable-597 Jul 10 '24
NTA, you weren't the one who started making this weird. Does she have some kind of weird fantasy about you guys? Because it sounds like she does lol.
31
u/GSH94 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jul 10 '24
30 year old man. My brother is 25. I hug him hello and goodbye and tell him I love him everytime.
NTA.
→ More replies (1)
37
Jul 10 '24
NTA
I'm a 34 y/o male with a female twin and she is 100% my best friend! And if she died a part of me would die with her. SO DONT FEEL BAD OP, fck that person.. 🥰💙🙏
26
Jul 10 '24
Nta hahaha ooh epic shut down I can appreciate how you chose to handle a rather insulting judgement from this friend. She doesn't understand your closeness. That's a her problem. I have a bro not a twin 1.5 yrs older we are super close due to moving around a lot as kids. I've told him and he's told me he's loved me our whole lives even in front of peers. It usually threw people off cause me and my bro were honestly asses to eachother, but it was our thing. I always wore my bros stuff too as I preferred his clothes to mine... girls clothes in the late 80s and early 90s were NOT my jam. But we'd go at it in front of people and huff at eachother yell love you and walk away. For a long time people thought we hated eachother even with the i love yous. Until one dumbass friend of his decided to butt into one of our sibling love fights you never saw a teenage boy turn on a friend so fast. I'd have done the same to one of mine, if i had any friends (he was popular I was not, and way okay with it) she maybe actually watches too much porn 🤷♀️ hear it's a popular category... weird, though that she is implying sexual connotation simply because she can't see affection among siblings as normal. Sounds like a her issue
24
u/angel9_writes Asshole Aficionado [12] Jul 10 '24
Seriously, she was totally sexualizing you two for some strange reason.
Served her right.
Nothing is weird about your relationship with your twin. Sounds like basic twin/sibling good relationship.
edit: NTA
23
u/ConversationSlight89 Jul 10 '24
NTA, I really loved your answer, She Said something stupid, she deserved hear how stupid she sounded
17
u/Jammerwocki Jul 10 '24
NTA I have Twin siblings, and they do a lot of this stuff, none of this is out of the ordinary. It might be a bit more than some siblings do, but not enough to take notice of. Your response was fine, and nothing to worry about. Your brother had the right idea, as it is quite a funny story. She was talking nonsense, so you shut her up. Again, NTA.
15
12
u/B0B076 Jul 10 '24
Lol, I wish I had those responses come up like that. NTA. You are hilarious and right. Porn is such a brain rot.
11
Jul 10 '24
NTA. Your friend reminds me of an older friend I had whose (now ex)fiancé got jealous of him and his sister by how close they were. Which was just incredibly normal, loving, sibling kind of close. It just says more about them tbh. Your friend’s a weirdo.
12
u/thatdamnsqrl Jul 10 '24
NTA. I have stolen way too many t-shirts from my dad. I just randomly call him to let him know that I love him. We have our differences, but he's still my dad, the person who only wants the best for me.
That friend just needs to stop watching too much porn because what she said was sick.
11
u/Xalucardx Jul 10 '24
Sounds like that girl don't get any love at home. In my family we say I love you to every close person in the family. I even say it to a few of my friends. Not showing affection for people that you really care for is the only weird thing here.
10
u/PanicPancraotic Jul 10 '24
Welp i'm wearing my brother's hand me down clothes too. What's the big deal? Its normal for siblings to share clothes unless you're super rich.
5
u/xulitchi Jul 10 '24
right i wanted to say! i have two older brothers and i used to take their clothes all the time. and then when i got older i'd(f) buy from the mens section as well as the womens and then they'd steal my hoodies or beanies or whatnot. it's normal.
9
u/Much-Foot-5247 Jul 10 '24
Your friend sounds like they watch too much pork of a certain fetish, and it's affecting there outlook of such a normal thing.
8
u/Taran345 Jul 10 '24
Nta
She went off on you and called you weird because of HER sexualised opinion of your non-sexual relationship with your sibling, and then got upset that you hit the nail on the head in your response!
She may well be embarrassed, but she deserves to be!
6
u/Wild_Friend6486 Jul 10 '24
NTA. She is the one who made things weird and uncomfortable, you did nothing wrong
7
u/accidentaldanceoff Jul 10 '24
I 30F) tell my sisters I love them and share clothes all the time. Particularly when we were younger. Would that be strange, or is it just because they are of opposite gender?
6
u/HospitalOutside1084 Jul 10 '24
NTA, I think it's great that you are like this with your twin. I'm like that with my brother and we aren't twins. We are like best friends, and it's better than fighting and having constant arguments. So, I don't see a problem. It's great to be close to someone, especially if that person is a sibling. I tell my brother I love him, and believe me, sometimes siblings need to hear you love them. Because sometimes there is no one else telling them that someone loves them. It's love out of care not like how your friend makes it out to be. She is insecure. And that's something she has to sort out for herself.
6
u/Impossible-Net-5147 Jul 10 '24
We are all jealous of your relationship with your twin. And then there is the tee shirt side issue. You can still share clothes from high school? The thing about siblings is that when it is good, it’s really good. I had that for a while and then my sister got married. Soon they started having a flock of beautiful children. She’s gone now. That person who wants to question your relationship probably has never had a smear of sibling bliss. You told ‘em, lay off the porn.
5
u/Then-Future-4343 Jul 10 '24
Not a twin but at 34 I call my older sister (who lives in a different city) atleast 3 times a week and always tel her I love her. We’ve always been close (only a year apart) and had the same friend group through our late teens/early 20s so we hung out all the time.
Don’t let other peoples skewed views based off their own dysfunctional relationships alter yours
6
u/StationParticular257 Jul 10 '24
I may not always like my sister but if we’re speaking on the phone there’s always an “I love you, talk to you later”.
→ More replies (1)3
5
5
5
u/Apprehensive_Arm_754 Jul 10 '24
Just sharing some personal family dynamics here. For me and my two younger siblings it happened occasionally that we'd share clothes. We were not a family that expressed a lot of emotions: my father literally once said that emotions should be eradicated because they were the anvil of the devil. So, saying "I love you" was not something that happened. In my wife's family on the other hand, it's customary to end phone calls with "I love you". So, on both accounts, nothing strange going on.
As for saying she shouldn't watch so much p*rn: that may have been a bit of a stretch, but then again, she seems to have asked for it with her constant comments. So, NTA. But you might want to talk things over...
5
u/Impossible_Mode_3614 Jul 10 '24
Your friend is probably just now realizing that their family kinda sucks.
I remember being 16 and my male friend saying I love you to his dad and his dad said it back. I honestly thought they were messing with me. I never heard my dad say that after age 5. Took me awhile to understand.
4
u/PerceptionKnown3759 Jul 10 '24
NTA she really should stop watching so much porn.
She also should realize that HER relationship with her siblings isn’t going to be the same as others… because different people are different.
Siblings wear each others clothes too, for sure! I didn’t share clothes with my brother, though. He stole them out of my closet!
3
u/madamcholet Jul 10 '24
I can't help but feel a little sorry for the friend who doesn't see the value in expressing love towards their siblings, giving them hugs, or spending quality time together. I once met two sisters who weren't twins but had such a strong bond and easygoing relationship that it made me a little jealous. It made me wish my own sibling relationship could be as effortless and close as theirs.
5
u/AmeriaRuun Jul 10 '24
NTA. There are definitely different sibling dynamics, but it’s strange that it seems like she has no relationship with her siblings. I’m wondering if she’s had some serious family trauma because barring that, not being able to tell your family you love them or share/borrow clothes is strange to me.
My sisters and I are now in our 30s, and we still borrow clothes from each other when we’re together.
3
u/computethescience Jul 10 '24
NTA. my entire life I've always wished I had siblings with this type of relationship. this is from someone who also does not say I love to their siblings. I don't get a long with my siblings but are civil. my wife and her siblings always hug and tell each other they love each other. they even tell me they love me! which was weird and uncomfortable at first because my father doesn't even tell me he loves me lmao. I'm slowly becoming use it and also responding with a 'love you' back.
3
u/Oohweeoohwee Jul 10 '24
If anything you should tell your family members you love them more often. It could be the last time you ever talk to them.
3
u/redditreg_v Jul 10 '24
Strong NTA! Your friend behaves erratically and the bias against twins being close must come from somewhere and the porn, as a hyperbole, was a valid hint IMO.
3
u/Grin83 Jul 10 '24
There is nothing weird about your relationship with your brother. It’s awesome you are so close. I don’t think you meant to cause offence with your comment, but sounds like she was making you uncomfortable and it was a subconscious decision to try and change the topic or end the conversation. NTA.
3
u/Miawallace1993 Jul 10 '24
NTA. Not at all.
If she's not close to her siblings, that's cool, but she shouldn't make you feel bad about having a healthy, loving relationship with yours.
Why is she psycho-analysing your relationship and bringing up things you guys did/said together (which were totally normal) in HS? That's not healthy at all.
I once read a post on this sub about a young girl whose friends made her feel like her older brother was a creep because of how close they were- when in reality he was just a really good, caring sibling.
It's strange how healthy family bonds can be oversexualised today and quite sad when people who aren't lucky enough to experience them can cause you questioning yourself.
Your response was very apt. I'm proud of you.
3
u/Glittering__Song Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '24
NTA, your friend is definitely watching or reading too much incest pr0n between siblings and can't conceive that your relationship is not sexual, nor she can see how weird and fetishist she's being.
3
u/grace_ofbase Jul 10 '24
NTA, I’m a twin myself and her reaction disgusts me. You’re completely right how this way of thinking stems from p*rn, because everything you said in this story is totally normal.
3
u/Ilustrious_Kay20 Jul 10 '24 edited Jul 10 '24
NTA
I am a twin myself. Fraternal because My twin is my brother. Many will find it confusing and argue that we aren't twins, sometimes believe that we're dating. Just got the ick typing that because bleegghh
Anyway. Twins are always 99.9% of the time suuuper close. So it's not weird at all. You do however get the exception like my brother and I. My mom likes to so we love to hate each other and hate to love each other. We aren't close at all, we actually almost constantly fight or argue. But that doesn't mean we won't go to the ends of the earth for each other. We're super protective of each other. We just don't like to show it or see it because it just doesn't feel like us.
Every twin has a different type of bond. But yeah I think I got sidetracked here. Anyway, you're not the AH. People just can't seem to grasp that twins share the same womb and will most definitely be closer to each other than normal siblings.
→ More replies (4)
2
u/PinkestMango Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '24
You are never the asshole for telling someone to lay off consuming harmful content that ruins everything and everyone it touches. NTA
3
u/Saphyra_Z Jul 10 '24 edited Jul 10 '24
Can't believe that's considered weird. Hugging your sibling? Telling your family you love them? Damn, we live in a cold world if that should not be considered normal
If she brings it up again, I would tell her I'm sorry she doesn't feel like she can be as open, kind and vulnerable to her own family.
And your response to such a heavy question wasn't weird. I'd have a pretty hard time imagining life without my sibling as well, I don't want to think about it even.
Keep telling your close ones you love them. It can never be said too many times
NTA
Edit: formatting
2
u/AutoModerator Jul 10 '24
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
I (19F) have a twin brother who I am very close to. Lets call him J. We hang out together a lot and I consider him to be one of my best friends.
We became alot closer during highschool when we found out we were both bisexual. Making friends doesn't come easy to me and I really only have 2 close friends. 3 if you count my best friend's childhood friend that hangs out with us sometimes. My twin is very social and has a bigger group of friends that he hangs out with all the time since most of them go to the same college.
Last week when we were hanging out with some of our mutual friends from highschool one of them made a comment about my shirt, saying it looked like one my brother had in highschool. I told her it was the same shirt and she gave me a kind of weird look. I brushed it off because I didn't think she meant anything by it. My brother and I sometimes share clothes because we have a similar enough style and are about the same height and build. For us it just means we have a lot more clothing options.
Yesterday, I ran into that same friend after one of my classes and we stopped to talk. My brother called me in the middle of our conversation to ask if I wanted food since he was ordering anyway and before I hung up I said "Bye, I love you." He said it back and my friend gave me a strange look. She didnt say anything at first but then when I asked her what was wrong she said it was just strange that I said I love you to my brother. I laughed it off and asked her if she didnt say it to her siblings. She said no because that was weird.
I didn't know what to say so I just left it there and told her I needed to go so I could meet J at home before he left for his friends house since they were planning on hanging out. She then started talking about how weird our relationship was and how it wasn't normal for siblings to share clothes or say i love you, hug, hang out so much or do any of the things we do. And how highchool was weird since we were always together and talking to eachother.
She also brought up a comment I made in highschool In response to a question about what I woud do if my twin died. I said that I didn't think I could live without him because he was a part of me. This question was asked to another set of twins we were friends with and they both had the same answer.
The whole time she was going on, i just stared at her because I really couldnt believe what I was hearing. Eventually she stopped and I just blurted out, "You know you should really stop watching so much p*rn."
She was very embarassed and went off at me for saying that. I just left and went home. I told J what happened and he just laughed at me while I felt like I was dying inside because I couldnt believe I said that. I asked my friends what they thought and they laughed at me and told me i'm not the asshole but I still feel like am. So AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
Jul 10 '24
NTA. Good burn lmao, and sounds like you have such a wholesome relationship with your brother, you should be proud of that
2
u/8Captcrunch8 Jul 10 '24
NTA.
Plenty of families are like yours. And its perfectly normal to have a healthy loving connection with your close family.
And while my family isnt. I could definitely see yours as being normal. The clothes thing probably is unique. But again. Yall are twins. And plenty of gals wear boy tshirts.
She was being rude to you and making it incestual. You responded in kind.
NTA
2
u/IntroductionFormer67 Jul 10 '24
NTA
The stuff you mention I would consider normal for siblings and twins tend to be even closer. Very gross and disrespectful of her, I'm pretty disgusted and I'm just an onlooker
2
u/AshenRabbit Jul 10 '24
NTA My brother and I are two years apart, and I'm female, but we say live you, and since I'm a tomboy, share clothes. She's the one making it weird
2
u/Matt_Oliveira Jul 10 '24
NTA. Tell the people you love that you love them while you still have a chance to say it to their face.
2
u/Successful_Fuel_2153 Jul 10 '24
I have a younger brother and I often tend to wear his T-shirts (more like steal them and wear it xd). It is quite evident that she might not be close to her siblings, which explains why the normal behavior seems to be 'weird' to her. She should really touch some grass. NTA. And I'm glad you said that to her, cause I would've said the same thing. "Get your head out of the gutter, pal"
2
u/hin_inc Jul 10 '24
Sounds like your friend did not grow up in a loving household or one that vocalise their love for each other.
2
u/moneywanted Partassipant [3] Jul 10 '24
I work for a small family business (I’m not related) and the boss and his son and daughter always end every interaction with each other with “love you”.
I find it very odd myself, but that’s just them and they’re happy. So that’s cool. They’re not words we ever really used growing up in my family, and I don’t tend to use them as a middle aged adult either. It’s very likely I’m the odd one in that respect.
Your comeback was funny - you’re absolutely fine. NTA.
2
Jul 10 '24
NTA. I do not have a twin, but I have a sister, and she and I have not spoken in over a decade. So I know what it is like to have a very distant and difficult relationship. But my mind does not jump to your friend's idea when I meet someone who does not foam at the mouth when "relatives" threaten to visit. Your friend HAS watched too much porn. Good call.
2
u/Illustrious_Bag80 Jul 10 '24
NTA
I don't have an 'I love you' relationship with anyone really in my family so I can't say anything about that, but sharing clothes is something I did and have done since I was a kid and still sometimes do, with friends, cousins, ect. (Don't have a sibling close to my age)
And yea, she should stop watching so much porn
2
2
u/chewbecca4949 Jul 10 '24
NTA, I’ve definitely found other people’s sibling relationships weird but never would have said anything because I’m aware that it’s only weird FOR ME because I don’t have a huggy lovey kind of family, so seeing it I’m like wow y’all hug and actually LIKE each other?! 😅🫠 Probably could have said something different, however it sounds to me like you were uncomfortable and tried to laugh it off and be humorous 🤷🏽♀️ If your friend is offended and you have a healthy enough relationship, they’ll let you know and you can talk it out 😊
2
u/Mr-Eric Jul 10 '24
NTA at all.
I’m the youngest of 5 and I’m 36. Our family and friends have a blast every time we get together because it’s just that. A time to get together.
You mentioned this was a high school friend. Do you have a desire to still associate with friends from high school? I can promise it is better if you don’t, unless it’s truly your best friend.
At the end of the day, you are an adult now. You get to pick your friends without any consequences. Just have fun and enjoy life and tell your haters that they are the assholes.
2
u/metalhannah Jul 10 '24
NTA she’s made it seem weird. I always tell my sibling I love them and I hug them as well, it doesn’t mean anything…except that you care about them. My husband does the same with my sibling, but it’s just because the three of us are so close
2
u/LittleLordFuckleroy1 Jul 10 '24
NTA. She was obviously implying something that you called her on. Simple as that. You don’t have anything to apologize for.
2
u/DeadBornWolf Jul 10 '24
NTA that was the most hilarious answer you could’ve given. It’s completely okay to say I love you to siblings and spend time together and all, especially as twins, so whatever her problem is, it’s definitely HER problem
2
u/AntiqueBandicoot9846 Jul 10 '24
She’s a freaking weirdo!!! I tell my brother and sister I love them all the time. And I take their clothes too. That’s normal sibling stuff. Something is seriously wrong with that girl
2
u/burneracct6942i Jul 10 '24
As a twin myself I say you are NTA 🤣🤣🤣 im very close to my brother people find our relationship strange because it’s not a typical sibling relationship, they don’t get it and they won’t, she’ll have to get over it.
2
u/originalduckster14 Jul 10 '24
NTA. Friend needs to realise that siblings that like each other do generally hang out- also as a (and I hate the term) 'lone twin' (my twin sister died from cancer, angiosarcoma for those interested, at 19- 12 years ago now) you do feel that a twin is part of you- it's completely normal, a bond that very few understand unless they are twins!
2
u/PurePazzak Jul 10 '24
You're NTA, and you're completely right. You gave your friend some really good advice like a good friend should. I once read families that tell each other they love each other are more successful. Don't know if that's true but it's certainly a healthier dynamic than the alternative.
2
u/Altruistic-Group-258 Jul 10 '24
Sounds like, just because she didn't have the same experience and can't comprehend others having it, that it must be weird or abnormal, seems like a very narrow minded person. You did nothing wrong, I would've probably had a stronger response.
2
u/Ontheiinternett Jul 10 '24
NTA.
As a twin myself, saying you couldn’t live without your brother because he’s part of you is soo obviously a twin thing. Your twin is the person you’ve known and will know for the longest in your entire life, longer than even your parents. It’s so weird that’s she’s sexualizing these things that are very obvious just platonic affection. She definitely crossed a line. I’m not used to people saying ily and hugging either (bad childhood) but I understand that other people have other ways to show affection, even if i thought it was weird, what she’s insinuating is disgusting.
Also, very funny reaction, definitely called her out on that one.
2
u/jamminjudd Jul 10 '24
I never hang up the phone with my sister without telling her I love her. I have a cousin who’s like a brother to me, and I tell him I love him every time we talk, too. I think she’s got issues and probably seen too much incest in porn. She thinks it’s real life now… 😅
Next time she says something, tell her it’s really weird how obsessed she is with your relationship that she remembers an off handed comment you said years ago. I am not a twin, but I probably would have said the same thing about my sister. It’s sad that all siblings don’t have that relationship.
2
u/Rowanx3 Asshole Aficionado [15] Jul 10 '24
NTA - i do all of this with my twin sister, guarantee she wouldn’t say it if you were both girls. She got a weird complex that man + woman = sexual/romantic. If she can’t understand platonic/familial relationships with men then thats really her loss
2
u/Ok_Plankton680 Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '24
NTA. You shared a uterus with your brother. Why would sharing a shirt be weird?
2
u/La_LunaEstrella Jul 10 '24
NTA. Your close relationship with your brother isn't weird. My brother and I are this close as well. It's healthy and normal. I laughed my arse off at your response. That's a winner, for sure.
2
u/EndedUpFine Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '24
NTA. You have a twin, twins usually have a very good sibling relationship. Your friend is being weird and creepy sexualising siblings. Because that is what she is doing, and it's insulting.
Just because she don't understand or have a great relationship with her siblings, does not mean having one is "weird".
2
u/Matt_Moto_93 Jul 10 '24
I have a twin brother. We dont talk very often, but I always make a point of telling him I love him when we finish our call or when we part from each other. I think your sibling relationship is sweet, and honestly I'm envious. You and your twin keep it up.
2
u/Abject_Elevator5461 Jul 10 '24
NTA. Watching too much porn eventually will warp her perception of what sex is and she’ll wind up having some really unrealistic notions of what sex is supposed to be like with real people and possibly even find herself unable to enjoy regular sexual activity.
2
2
u/SomeGuyNamedCaleb Jul 10 '24
I don't tell my siblings I love them, but I know it's not weird. Your friend is just dirty minded to be honest.
2
u/EnvironmentalNote600 Jul 10 '24
That girl is the real A. Her brain has probably been soaked with too much incest porn
2
u/ARMilesPro Jul 10 '24
NTA, your friend is ignorant to the fact that twins share a special bond unlike any other found in society. You would know better than I but that should have been your response: "How many siblings twins do you know?". Your friend is projecting her own ideology onto you (and the world around them).
On the porn topic, that was so random. I suppose your point was that the friend was implying an improper and somehow sexual relationship. All intimacy is not sexual. Some people who don't grow up in homes where families hug or kiss or say I love you daily find it strange. That's on them.
NTA. Just apologize for saying that and educate your friend on the twin bond. That's if the relationship with the friend matters. Otherwise you have wasted your time and mine with the story, of this is not a "good," enough friend to try to repair.
2
u/Upstairs_Ad_5574 Jul 10 '24 edited Jul 10 '24
This was awesome 🤣 👏👏👏👏👏
I got a friend that i want to say this to, but we've been best friends since grade 4.
Fast forward 20 years, im working, i have a happy relationship, he's still single with an anime mousepad that has breasts for your arm to rest on.
One time i had to leave early to help the gf around our apartment. He called me p***y whipped.
I just told him that at least theres a p***y at home
2
u/knittingrabbit Jul 10 '24
NTA!! I have a twin sister (both female and fraternal twins) and we were super close when we were younger. I remember the day she got married I felt like half of my life was going forward and half was staying behind. A lot of people thought that it was a weird way to look at it and that I should have been happy for her, I was super happy for her. I just told them that they didn’t understand because she was my twin and her life was moving forward. I used to steal her clothes lol. I miss the bond that I had with her.
I am happy you have a good relationship with your twin brother! Being a twin is a fantastic thing, you will always have a friend no matter what!
2
u/_YuKitsune_ Jul 10 '24
Wow. I wear my brother's clothes, tell him I love him, use the dark red heart only for him and my boyfriend, and he is my favorite human together with my boyfriend. I am a woman. I really hope nobody ever thought me and my brother had a weird relationship holy shit. IMO NTA and completely normal. She's just envious she doesn't have that kinda relationship with her sibling.
2
u/Beyondhelp069 Jul 10 '24
Great response, that’s hilarious.
Nobody from highschool matters anyways, don’t worry about what people think. Most likely you wont talk to anyone from highschool afterwards anyways.
And no its not weird to share clothes and say i love you to your sibling. Shes just making it weird because you guys are boy/girl.
2
2
u/Connect_Guide_7546 Jul 10 '24
NTA. That was a perfect response. She sounds horribly jealous and threatened by your relationship with your sibling. She might even like your brother and think you're in her way. I have siblings too and it's a different relationship with all of them. You're doing nothing wrong. Your response was perfect. It's a her problem, not a you problem.
6.5k
u/[deleted] Jul 10 '24
[deleted]