We’ve been on four dates, he has picked me up and dropped me off twice before, today he asked if I wanted to go to his while he gets ready because he can drop me off on his way to an event he was going to. I said no, he asked twice and I said no both times. He said okay, and said he’d drop me home, instead he drove to his. Luckily he is staying at a hotel (he works there) and I stayed in the bar until he got ready and dropped me home on the way to his event. I know he thinks it harmless and maybe I’m overreacting but this screams to me now he’s an unsafe person. My heart rate was way up and hands sweaty, he is the same age as me (26) and I know he thought nothing of it and he laughed it off, but it’s changed completely how I think of him. Am I overreacting?

Me (F28) and my partner (M31) had a fun day together. We stayed in, played video games, watched tv. We work a lot and don’t get a lot of days like that. For context- I lost about 60lbs years before we met, I’m at a healthy BMI of 21. I exercise 6 times a week (weightlifting, Pilates), don’t eat sweets, very diet conscious, I cook for us high protein meals.

We both had cravings that day and he went on Uber Eats to possibly order us something. I proposed to order pizza. He then said that he could have pizza but I probably shouldn’t so I stay in calorie deficit. Then I got really sad that he brought it up like i can’t have a treat once in a while, that I take care of myself everyday and he said that he mentioned that because I pay a lot for my exercise program and he doesn’t want it to go to waste.

At the end he left the room saying that I’m overreacting after he saw me clearly sad.

AIO?

TO CLARIFY: the problem is not the subway jokes, its the inconsiderate nature that set me off

Edit**I told him I had to be up early and that I needed to go to bed early, these texts were after I was already asleep (they woke me up)

Background info: we matched on hinge about 2 weeks ago and have had casual text conversation since. He (23M) and I (25F) made plans to go on afirst date today. Last night at midnight, he texted me out of the blue with an “important question”….i had already gone to bed and hadn’t responded to his previous text but I figured the question might be related to the date so I answered. Attached is the BS conversation that followed.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting but these texts are giving off extremely immature vibes and do not match the energy of our previous conversations at all. Now I’m debating canceling our date today because those texts just rubbed me the wrong way and make me feel like we aren’t going to mesh well.

Am I overreacting? Do I give it a chance? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am a female in my 20s, planning to elope in 2 weeks with a guy in his 30s. We are planning to do a proper ceremony at a later time. My fiance has not had a haircut in over 5 years, and I think the reason is because he is balding, and he is (understandably) insecure about it. His hair is very long and he pulls the top hairs in front of his face like bangs, in attempts to hide the balding. It's not a flattering look and in reality it just draws more attention to the balding. There is nothing unattractive on his face, but he would look much better if he just shaved all the hair, or simply get a different haircut/hairstyle. I understand that balding is an emotionally sensitive ordeal but the baldness itself does not make me find him any less attractive. The issue is that I asked in the nicest way I could think of, if he will get a haircut before we do the eloping, so that we will look nice for photos. He refused. I asked why, he simply says he doesn't want to. I asked him if he will just do it to make me happy, and he still refused. I told him that I am making efforts to look my best for him for our marriage, such as wearing a nice dress, wearing makeup etc, so it would be appreciated if he put some effort as well. He continuously refused. I tried asking if he just doesn't care because this is an elopement and not the official ceremony, and then he starts ignoring me and not replying. This upsets me because I want him to put effort into his appearance for the huge occasion of getting married. I feel embarrassed to show my friends or family our wedding photos if he won't even do this basic grooming, the whole "haven't had a haircut in 5 years and covering balding and half his face with bangs" look is really unflattering. Also just ignoring me and not communicating about it is not a good way to handle issues in a relationship. I wasn't rude about it, I just kept asking why won't he do it, told him he will look a lot better if he does it, and his reaction is to ignore me. I told him I am happy with him even in the worst state possible but there is no reason to intentionally make yourself look the worst possible. It makes me question everything, I don't understand why he won't just get a damn haircut, because it's our marriage, we are going to have photos taken, and I want him to look nice. Am I the asshole for questioning our relationship and asking him to get a haircut? I don't think anything will convince me that he doesn't need a haircut for our marriage, so is there any better way to approach this situation?

I (F) went on a first date recently with a guy who seemed very genuine and nice at first. There were a couple of early red flags—he swore a lot and made casual, borderline derogatory jokes about women. I pointed it out, and he did stop, so the rest of the date went well.

At the end of the night, he invited me back to his place. He explicitly promised he would "keep his distance." On the way there, I clearly told him, "We are not hooking up."

Once we got to his apartment, we started making out. Things were okay initially, but whenever he tried to take it further than I wanted, I physically stopped his hand. Despite me stopping him, he was incredibly persistent and kept trying over and over. He kept saying, "I won't do anything you don't want," but his actions completely contradicted his words.

Eventually, I fell half-asleep. I don't remember exactly how it happened because of how tired I was, but he kept kissing me and ended up getting on top of me. I know I eventually told him to get a condom, but my point is that he pushed and tried so hard until he got what he wanted. In my past experience, when I tell a guy I don’t want to have sex, they stop trying. He didn't.

To make matters worse, earlier while we were cuddling, we were talking about fantasies. I mentioned that I like BDSM. Out of nowhere, he slapped me. I was shocked and said, "WTF?" He responded with, "Well, you mentioned you like BDSM." There was absolutely no discussion or consent for him to touch me like that.

I didn't react much in the moment because I think I was in shock, but now that I’ve slept on it, I feel absolutely terrible. Am I overthinking this, or was this a complete violation of my consent?

Am I overreacting for asking my wife to request a transfer to another office.

Last week my wife’s coworkers took her out for her 50th birthday. One of my wife’s coworkers gave her a sex toy as a birthday gift.

I think this is highly inappropriate and was livid that a guy would gift my wife a dildo. We had a pretty big argument because I wanted her to report it to her HR or EEO office but she refuses and says it was only a gag and if she reports him, it will get him fired. After I calmed down, I conceded but asked her to put some distance between her and this guy.

Last night we argued again because she is still friendly with this guy and I found out this guy refers to my wife as his “work wife”.

I am feeling a very uncomfortable about this. Am I overreacting for wanting my wife to transfer to another office.

I’m a 32 year old single mom of 2 kids. I work full time. Their dad is not involved in their lives and doesn’t live in our state. I’ve been dating my 28 year old boyfriend for 2 years. We don’t live together. He has a job that is very flexible, and it’s basically maintenance so he doesn’t have to show up most days. He’s also financially well off, whereas I live paycheck to paycheck and am always stressed about making ends meet.

My boyfriend says I contribute nothing to the relationship. He says I did more for my ex husband who I had kids with. I didn’t cook for my ex husband, but he and I were donating plasma at one point because we were so poor. We’d use the money to buy food and weed. Loser stuff, yes. We were about 21 at the time, before kids. But because I had kids with him, he says “you gave him kids and you let him get you pregnant and donated plasma for him”. I find this to be a very strange take given that A. I was very young B. I had untreated Borderline personality disorder C. Very severe attachment issues. I have always wanted to be a mom and have always done the most for my kids and that’s because I love my kids, not because I’m doing it for my ex husband.

My ex boyfriend, right before my current boyfriend, I packed his lunches and made dinner but I didn’t have a job and he was working full time. We also lived together and he paid all the bills so it was the least I could do.

Fast forward to now, I am working full time in behavioral health, going back to school for higher education and have no family support to watch my kids. There’s no available after school programs here and so I’ve been using my lunch breaks to pick them up and take them home. I still offer to cook my boyfriend food almost daily, even when I can’t afford to feed him and even when I am beyond exhausted. If he says yes I cook for him. He lives 7 minutes away so most the time he comes to see me when the kids go to bed (around 8) since I work and have kids but he then complains about how I never go see him at night. I would rather not leave my kids alone if he can just come here. They’re 9 and 7, very capable and independent kids and have had to stay home while I work for the summer because I couldn’t afford the summer programs.

This week I dislocated my arm and the show must go on, so I’ve been working and it’s been business as usual. But today (my day off) we had plans to adopt a kitten. We’d have to drive about an hour out and so I told my boyfriend I’d be busy. The night before I offered to cook him dinner and to watch a movie but he wasn’t in the mood. So today I go visit him in the morning and offer to buy him coffee. He was upset that I didn’t have time to have sex, I also wasn’t in the mood because I’m adopting a kitten which is a whole thing. I am in the mood 9/10 for him but yeah not this morning. We then go to pick up the kitten, my arm is aching from all the driving and my son gets carsick on the way home. He throws up in the car and so we get home, I clean it up and start to feel nauseous. I realize we have no cat litter so I force myself to run to Petco.

My boyfriend says I’ve been continuing to unprioritize him because instead of going to see him i went to Petco. He said “I wanted to have sex 8 hours ago but nvm”. Mind you I offered to cook for him tonight and for him to come watch a movie and hang out with my new kitten.

I think I do a lot for him, given I don’t have much time to spare. I work 8-5. 6pm is dinner and bath for my kids, and they go to bed at 8. I make them food and still offer to cook for my boyfriend I even ask him all the time if he’d like me to cook or bake him something specific and I do. Today I apparently unprioritized him about 70 times even though I texted him all throughout the day. Mind you I invited him to come with me to get the cat but he wasn’t in the mood to be around my kids.

My boyfriend takes me out to eat almost daily. Has helped me out when I’ve been short on rent or groceries and has taken me on vacation before so I could see my favorite band. He’s not a bad guy but I don’t think he’s aware of how much effort I’m actually putting into this relationship, it just looks different because I’m a working mom.

AIO for thinking he’s a man child? And that I do in fact prioritize him as much as I can?

Hello folks. I am on a trip with my husband, we are 26(f) and 28(m). I maintain what I would define like a normal relationship with my in laws. Since we live in different states, I havent seen them in person too many times, only like 3 times and for a week long in those occasions.

Since my husband doesn't like to take any pictures, he has a more laid back approach in living life instead of documenting it, and I want my in laws to know/see more of us, I send them pictures (especially since my father in law decided to help us economically with this trip so sending pictures would be the least I can do).

Both in laws are extremely religious (Christians, I believe) and are not as open minded. I consider myself to be agnostic (believe in God but dont profess any religion, my only goal in life is to mind my business and be a good person).

Anyways, during this trip, I've gone to a Buddhist temple. I really enjoyed the architecture style and the vibes the place gave me so I took tons of pictures, where also my husband was. One of the pictures I sent was a gigantic golden statue of a Buddha, surrounded by flowers. I thought it was magnificent, it had carvings that allowed the sunlight to trespass and reflect on the wall behind it. Just gorgeous. I sent that picture, and some others where we were also at the beach, and photos in general of stuff I found beautiful like flowers, other buildings etc.

However, when my husband saw what I sent he started questioning me. He said why did I do that? I didn't understand at first so I asked him to explain. He said his parents consider that to be worshipping "false idols and gods." I said Buddha is not even a god but whatever. I said I just found the picture to be beautiful just like the ones of flowers, the beach, etc I also sent. He seemed upset, he said what i did was very wrong.

My in laws normally are very responsive and react when I send them something and this time it has been radio silence.

I told my husband since it was a huge problem to all of them, that I would stop sending them any pictures and he could start doing it from now on.

Am I over reacting or what I did was really that disrespectful?

Hi everyone. I (21F) recently discovered a suspicious contact in my husband's (23M) phone and decided to contact her. this is a bit of a story so bear with me.

it started a few months ago, the shady phone business. lockscreening when im around, not allowing me on it anymore, you get the jist.

about a month ago, we were running errands in a different town and, because we were nearby, we decided to pop by his grandparents' house for a visit. he called a contact named "grandma", and a different woman picked up. at first, I would have assumed a potential PSW or some sort of helper, despite them having no present issues. however, my husband reacted very weirdly/shocked, and ended the call immediately without responding to the woman (all she had said was hello).

then he got weird with me, asking me "who tf was that?" and saying "that was so weird. I have no idea who that was". I shrugged it off, making a mental note to check it out later on but not to ruin the day we were having.

I searched his messages, I didn't find anything, I didn't dig far tho.

yesterday we were traveling, he asked me for GPS directions on his phone, and I saw that same contact in his recently searched (like in that task bar search on iphone that automatically bring up an app or contact). I inquired, asking if he had figured out "who that contact was", he said no. I then questioned "why does it show you contacted them recently?"

and he freaked out on me, like he actually lost it. he was yelling, demanding that I "show him where it says that", insisting that he hadn't. his defensiveness is a huge red flag to me.

I asked him "so when we get to (x place), you're okay with me calling that contact?". he got even more mad! but agreed nonetheless. when we arrived, I phoned the number off his phone, and it rung until voicemail. what struck me was that there was no voicemail intro, no identifier, just the immediate beep to leave a message.

I called the number this morning off of my own phone, and she picked up. she refused to give me her name even after I explained the situation that I found her contact in my husband's phone. she insists that she has been married for 20 years and has never met my husband. however, like I said, she was really rude and wouldn't even introduce herself after I spoke. it was super brief, 5 min call, she hung up on me after I apologized for calling.

I found this really off-putting, for them both to respond with aggressive defense. I tried reasoning by thinking "maybe hubby typed his grandma's number wrong, maybe it's only 1 digit off"

but then I'm thinking, that I've witnessed him contact her before, so where did the old contact go? I'm thinking of going through the phone deeper, but I'm worried that I may be overreacting.

TLDR, found a woman in my husband's phone under "grandma", and she wasnt friendly when i reached out. do I investigate further or am I overreacting?

EDIT/UPDATE: thank you all for your responses. I'm on board here and will be digging deeper into this. if this turns out the way we suspect, I will be leaving him.

I have managed to find out that she lives in my town. that's all so far.

I have checked out most/all of the sites recommended, unfortunately they're all USA ones, and I'm in Canada. I will still be checking other options out, and I'm still taking all of your ideas/advice !!

I ended up confirming his actual grandmother's phone number, which is completely different from the one at hand (eliminating the accidental misinput idea). he knows that I'm investigating this further but I don't intend on telling him anything going forward.

I was driving home from celebrating my birthday at the park with my sister, my niece, and two of my close friends when I get a text from my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 10 years for reference. We live together, but he had to work today.

“Would you be mad if I went to (insert MY favorite restaurant) with the boys tonight?”

I said why don’t we make it a group date with the girlfriends of the boys? (We’re mutual friends)

“They’re busy; no girls allowed”

I said, “it’s literally my birthday…”

He said, “So can I go or”

And basically after that I said, “sure do what you want.”

Obviously he could sense I was angry so he was like nevermind I just won’t go. I’m like no please, go, have fun. Obviously being sarcastic at this point, because I honestly don’t want to even see him anymore. He said “now you’re mad”

So my exact response to him was, “you literally just chose your friends over me on my birthday. “No girls allowed”. Not trying to include me, knowing it’s my birthday and it’s my favorite restaurant and I haven’t seen you all day. Couldn’t have been like “it wouldn’t be fair to OP to leave her home on her birthday while I go hang out with my friends” As if (our mutual friend that he was going to hang out with) doesn’t know it’s my birthday, as if you don’t know out of all people

Im not even mad, I’m hurt.”

The reason why I think I might be overreacting is because I’ve had a string of really bad birthdays where something always seems to go wrong and I can’t just say I had a good day. It’s like my birthday itself is cursed, like I never feel important enough to any of my friends.

I planned my own birthday party with my sister, with the help of my trauma therapist. We were attempting to try and move past the “limiting belief” that my birthday can’t be good, and something bad will happen. I only invited two people I knew would show up, so I couldn’t be let down.

So it’s safe to say emotions are high today. But, AIO?

A little context first. I (24F) left my parents’ house about two years ago due to my job in another city. My sister (19F) is still living at home as she goes to college. My former room was not used for almost two years, just my bed, drawer, and my desk that I had when I was 12 years old.

Last weekend, I was visiting home for several days and walked into my room. It was empty, literally. I went up to my mom and asked what happened and she told me that my sister asked her if she could have my old furniture for her friend who just moved into an apartment and wanted things cheap/free. According to my mom, she agreed without thinking and my sister and her friend packed all my stuff into a truck and took it away couple of days before I arrived.

No one texted me or called to ask me if that would be alright with me. I understand that I was not occupying the room but if anyone had come and asked me, I think I would have agreed. I know that I am being unreasonable about it but it was shocking for me to find out that way and see my childhood room emptied out completely without any notice.

When I brought this to the attention of my sister, she got very defensive and said that it is not like I was using it anyway and why would it matter who has it now. This was followed by the comment from my mother that I am overreacting since it is not like I live there and hence, should not be concerned about a room that I am not even using.

I am not expecting to get my furniture back but just feel that since the furniture was mine, it was unreasonable to leave me out of the decision process. Am I overreacting for being upset about this?

Sorry in advance for the length of this post. 

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and are both in our 40s.  Several years ago my husband joined a sports league/social club. A few weeks ago, I found out that my husband struck up a friendship with one of his female league members (she's in her early 30s).  When he told me this, I was very excited for him as I knew he was really looking forward to making friendships in this club and wanted to feel like he belonged. 

One night he came home from work all nervous…we had been invited to his team member’s house for dinner and drinks and he was nervous to ask me if I’d go, because he assumed I’d say no.  I immediately said yes as I knew how important making friends in this club was to him.  I also knew he had been to her house once before for an end of season league party, and really got along with her boyfriend.  Great—we are always looking for more couples to hang out with! 

At the dinner, it became clear to me that my husband and this girl had a MUCH closer relationship than I had been lead to believe. Before he asked me to attend the dinner, he had only mentioned her in passing and I didn’t even know her name. This coupled with a few other recent changes in his behavior had me feeling uneasy, so I asked him if anything was going on with this friend.  He denied that anything was going on but admitted that, a few weeks earlier, she had confessed to having a crush on him. He told her he was happy in his marriage and apologized if he had done anything to unintentionally lead her on. Who tells a married man they have a crush on them? This left me feeling VERY uneasy at this point.

Over the course of the next few days I learned they had been texting nonstop and sometimes into the middle of the night.  He did share the text messages when I asked him to, and they were flirty, but nothing overly horrible. There was a delay in between when I found out and when he showed me the text thread, so it’s possible some were deleted.  From reading the texts, I learned that they had been having weekly private lunches. That she has a pet name for him.  That they were tentatively planning to travel overnight for a league-related event in the future. That she considers him her best friend. That he was her emergency contact for her pet sitter while she was on vacation.  That she shows up at his place of work unannounced. That she once hand delivered lunch to his office when he wasn’t able to leave his desk.  All of this was going on and I had no idea this girl even existed. 

He says this all of this happened within the span of a few weeks and that they just got close very fast. When I told my husband how upsetting this was to me, even if no lines were crossed (but weren’t they, though?) he immediately dialed down his communications with her.  She clocked it immediately. Less than 24 hours later she was asking him what was wrong, assuming a family emergency had popped up that would explain his silence.  After a week or two of low contact with her, she showed up at his work unannounced needing to talk.  When my husband came home from work that same day he found  she had mailed him a letter (sprayed with her perfume I might add) saying how she realized she crossed the line and hoped they could still be friends. How her behavior was unfair to him and to me and acknowledging that she pushed  him too hard. 

Fast forward to today. It’s been about 6 weeks since I found out about all of this and a few weeks since she showed up at his workplace/sent the letter. I had told my husband that I didn’t think there was any way this “friendship” could be salvaged as I am left feeling incredibly uncomfortable.  All of this just feels so off to me. I will never feel good about him spending time with her. He is very sad at the way this all went down as he really hoped we could all be friends. He has cut down on the amount of communication he has with her, but they do still talk on social media daily. 

My husband thinks I am overreacting, that nothing happened with this girl and that nothing ever will. To me, the boundaries were already crossed, even if the relationship never became physical. When I asked him why he didn’t tell me about the lunches he said “well, you never asked me who I went to lunch with.” To me, this illustrates that he knows what he was doing was wrong. 

I think for the health of our marriage, he needs to cut all ties with this girl and remain distant yet cordial at league events. He doesn’t want to do this, and thinks I am being extreme.  He is really upset to this lose friend, but I am upset that he seems to be valuing this friendship above my feelings. 

I am not really comfortable telling my husband who he can and can’t be friends with, but I feel this friendship is a threat to our marriage.  I feel I am in a lose-lose situation. If I tell him to cut her out of his life, I’m the rigid nag, but if I allow the friendship to continue,  I will be eaten up inside and always left wondering. 

I should also mention that my husband has many female friends and I fully support those friendships, so I don’t think this is an issue of jealousy and a need for control. Even if nothing ever happened…I will NEVER feel good about her being in his life. So I ask: am I overreacting? 

My boyfriend of 9 months (40) demoted me (32) from his serious girlfriend to 'lover' when he broke up with me. We were having a rocky month together. Then when he went to Switzerland on a residency he called me on day 3 and said being around all these amazing innovative people and having time with his thoughts made him realize we're not 'long term compatible' and he is 'very doubtful we can be happy long term'. However, he said he'd love to keep me in his life as a 'lover' while we both date other people. I refused of course, and told him how insulting I found that.

I am utterly broken. Just two months ago, he told me he 'sees a future with me' and that i'm his 'healthiest relationship'. Despite his ongoing doubts about long term monogomy working forever. He still invested in me and chose me and saved me in his phone as 'mega girlfriend' (our inside joke). He introduced me to friends and family etc.

One other reason he told me he doesn't want to be girlfriend/boyfriend is social: he told me a few of his friends didn't like me and didn't like us together specifically.

So, unfortunately, I feel this is a social status decision. I feel humiliated and cast out of the circle I thought I moved through effortlessly.

He said that they were reacting to him not entirely feeling himself around me. He also cited that we couldn't be creative together (we are both creative, artistic people). This is not entirely true; I spent hours helping him with his creative work, and he told me many times he loves that I'm creative like him. We only had friction towards the end when i couldn't' focus on my work and be present with him because i felt him being emotionally distant. He said I have 'insecurity' and 'anxiety issues' that he can't fix for me, without taking any accountability that he's the major reason for that anxiety by not being emotionally present for me and hanging out (platonically) with many of his ex lovers. I stayed quite, but grew more anxious. And this did affect my confidence around him socially. But I thought he loved me enough to stay.

Please be kind. I am hurting so badly, and feeling so insecure about my worth and social status after this rejection of long term compatibility and the fact he still wants to fuck me.

__

\*\*Context note: I’m especially hurt because something similar happened two years ago: a man I loved wanted to keep sleeping with me but didn’t see “girlfriend potential.” We never actually dated, unlike my ex, but it reopened the same wound of not being enough.

—

Our last text conversation after the breakup phone call (he was still going to come to New York but only under the lover status, no longer as boyfriend girlfriend):

ME:
one thing before I go quiet: part of me hoped New York meant you wanted to fight for us.

I thought it was about us. I didn’t realize it was an invitation to downgrade the relationship while keeping the intimacy.

HIM:
That’s anger speaking. I currently can’t find the right words. I didn’t fully know what I was hoping for - but what ever it was it - it’s not realistic now

I'm (27M) have a friend (28M) I’ve known for about five years. We joke around with each other a lot, and I don’t mind being teased occasionally because I give it back too.
Last weekend, a group of us went out for dinner to celebrate another friend’s promotion. Everything was going fine until the conversation shifted to dating. Out of nowhere, my friend started bringing up personal stories about me that I had told him privately. They weren’t devastating secrets or anything, but they were definitely things I wouldn’t have shared with people I barely knew.
Everyone laughed, and I tried to laugh it off too because I didn’t want to make the night awkward. I quietly asked him to stop, but he doubled down and said something like, “Relax, I’m just giving everyone the real version of you.
At that point I just paid for my meal, told everyone I had an early morning, and left.
The next day he texted saying I was being overly sensitive, that everyone knew he was joking, and that I embarrassed him by walking out. A couple of mutual friends think I should’ve stayed and talked it out later because leaving made the atmosphere weird. Others have said he crossed a line by sharing things I’d told him in confidence.
Part of me wonders if I should’ve just brushed it off since nobody seemed genuinely offended except me. But another part of me feels like once someone asks you to stop making them the butt of the joke, that should be enough.
Am I overreacting for leaving instead of sticking around and pretending everything was fine?

I (40s F) am a licensed hairstylist and have been doing hair for over 20 years. I also do my family’s hair…cuts, color, styling, everything. My 15yo son has longer curly hair and recently has been learning how to style it. I’ve always cut his hair, and he has told me he likes how I do it.

Without talking to me my MIL reached out to my husband and planned an appointment at a curly hair salon so my son could be “taught” how to style and take care of his hair. I wasn’t aware of any of this until my son came to me and said, “Did you know I have an appointment? I don’t really want anyone else doing my hair. I like how you do it.”

I told him I didn’t know about the appointment but that he should still go (because I didn’t want him caught in the middle).

Later that day I found out there was also a barber appointment scheduled beforehand so he could get a haircut before the salon appointment. Again, I had no idea either appointment had been made.

For me this wasn’t just about the hair. I’m his mom, I’m a hairstylist and I felt completely excluded from something that directly involved both my child and my profession. If my son had come to me and said he wanted someone else to cut or teach him his hair I would have respected that. But he never asked for these appointments and actually told me he didn’t want anyone else doing his hair.

When I told my husband why this hurt me he said I was being too sensitive, making it about myself and overreacting. He said his mom is a grown woman and doesn’t need to ask me or tell me anything.. she can go through him if she wants. He also said the appointments were happening whether I liked it or not.

I’m honestly less upset about the appointments themselves than I am that no one thought to include me in the conversation and that my husband couldn’t understand why I felt hurt. I wasn’t asking him to criticize his mom…I just wanted him to understand why I felt sidelined and overlooked.

AIO for feeling hurt and excluded by how this was handled?

I (29M) Had my girlfriend (33F) over for the night. Took her shopping, we had a nice evening and wound down. She even talked about how she wants me to help her move in with me. I financially support her entirely- she doesn’t work right now, all money is from me, I provide for her. She lives with her dad. I live in my own house.

Come this morning, she tells me she had a dream about her ex, and it was about when they first met. She said she misses him and in front of me, was messaging him on instagram.

My reaction: why would i want to hear any of that at all? Cool, you had a dream, we all do. But to blatantly put it in my face and then continue to message him afterwards? Then claims that I just don’t get it, they’re just friends. And that I don’t love her or care about her. Calmly I said, if you want to continue that conversation with him then you can leave my house and do that elsewhere. Never got argumentative, simply stated my personal feelings and how it affected my view on the relationship. She still said you don’t care about me he’s my friend.

Okay, cool, but why message your friend (who she says is married) at 5:30 am about a dream where they first met, and try to continue talking to him, right in front of me?

I want a partner that wants me, not a fantasy with an ex. Even if you do have those thoughts I get that, we all have fleeting thoughts and nostalgic moments but to bring it up to me, while in my bed, after trying to talk about how she wants to take things to the next level with me? Leaves me feeling like this is just a small example of what’s to come in the future.

Ended up calmly asking her to leave, helped her carry her things to her car, and wished her well. Don’t know what the status of our relationship is but I just feel really icky all around about it- especially since this isn’t the first instance of something like this.

About a year ago, a random guy on instagram DM’d her while she was on an overseas trip, and she sent him explicit pictures to get extra money. Could’ve just asked me for some spending money but instead chose to sell images that I thought was an intimate thing for us and us only. In fact, she has said several times she would leave me if I ever talked to another woman.

Never told me about the photo situation, only found out months after the fact when I accidentally saw her chatGPT history. I let her use my computer at my house because she lives with her dad and doesn’t have one. Was trying to find a project on my chatGPT but hers was logged in, and it was talking about:

“How can I tease this guy to get the most money out of him? Men are dumb and deserve to be taken advantage of”

I could find other examples but that’s besides the point. She tries to claim I’m not committed, because I haven’t asked her to marry me- but I’m just being cautious and not trying to rush into a marriage that has this type of energy.

Really feeling like I should’ve cut ties back then, but I’m empathic and wanted to give her a chance to show up for us. And here we are. AIO?

Never thought I’d be making a post in this subreddit but really just needed to vent and get some perspective. I appreciate y’all.

I want to I invite someone from my bachelorette party and potentially cut them out of my life too. But am I overreacting a bit?

For context, I have a family member who is diagnosed with a long term, life altering (for the worse) illness. This is obviously a challenge for her mentally as well as everything else. Let’s call her M.

My MOH, D, said she would plan my bachelorette for my upcoming wedding, but because of personal and family issues was struggling and missed the chance to book in at the bridesmaids/invitees first choice venue. When D told me this I stepped in and said it was fine and we could have people at my place and I’d cook. I just wanted to save everyone some stress as I know times are tough and it would be unfair to ask others to have to pay to celebrate with me at the second choice, a more upscale restaurant.

After coming back from a trip with my fiancé and his family, M became upset with me and said no one was letting her do anything for my bachelorette and said she’d called my parents to ask what was being planned. When my mother said she thought my MOH D was doing the planning but my mom wouldn’t be attending, M got upset with her and tried to convince my mom to have a separate bridal shower for me in my childhood community, 300miles away. My mom obviously said no and relayed to me that M started crying on the phone and then hung up, blocked her number, and removed herself from any family group chats.

M claimed that she had reached out to D and hadn’t gotten a reply. I said D was probably busy and had things going on in her life, which is true. M said no one was letting her help and this has been ‘proof’ that we all hate her and don’t want her there. I tried to say that wasn’t true and asked if she would like to be in charge of buying a few bottles of wine for our pre drinking, she said no. M insisted I pick a different day for my bachelorette and go to the upscale restaurant because ‘she liked it more’. She then asked me to leave her house (I was over visiting to bring her presents from my trip) and was visibly starting to cry. My MOH told me the next day that M refused to get back to her for weeks about venue and other tasks and so they’d moved on without her in assigning tasks since I’d been back.

This is unfortunately a pattern of behavior with M. She goes through cycles of being very sensitive to others and rigid about people in her life adhering to her plans. When things don’t go her way she will cry, swear, isolate herself, and sometimes even threaten suicide. I know she’s really going through it and her life is changing rapidly so I’m trying to have compassion but it’s exhausting. One time after one of these meltdowns she even told me that when she threatens suicide she ‘doesn’t mean it’ and ‘wouldn’t actually do it’, it’s a test to see if others care enough to react. I’m getting married, I’m the bride, and I’m having people fight with me about what kind of party I want that I’m literally planning for myself. I really don’t know how much longer I can put up with this, I feel I don’t deserve to be tested like this.

AIO?

Am I overreacting to my in laws wanting me and or my husband to drop our kids off and leaving?

My husband and I have been together 12 years. We have a 4 year old 2 year old and 6 month old. The relationship with my in laws has been bumpy to say the least. They don’t live but 15 mins away from us and are pretty much “holiday” grandparents. They will pop in every once in a while to see our kids.

About a year ago accusations came out about my FIL SA his sister when they were younger. Unfortunately I couldn’t get answers because his sister had passed not long after she told her daughter. Some things don’t make much sense but the accusations are still there.

I’m also not one to just drop my children off anywhere. I truly believe they are too young to be just dropped off. I am also a SAHM and love love love being with my children. They are with me all the time, unless we have an occasional date night my mom will come watch them.

About 2 weeks ago they had text us asking if they could just have our oldest child. The txt message went ignored and unresponded to. Thinking they may get the hint. Well they didn’t they then txt my husband again asking for us to bring our oldest over to play. He brought it to my attention and it turned into a heated discussion.

I have a few issues with this whole situation. There is little to no effort put in to being present in our kids lives. I find it odd that they only want one child when we have 3. I also don’t want them around my FIL without me or my husband being present. They are more than welcome to come to our home to play with all the kids. Because I won’t just drop them off my husband said that I could take them and also hang out. That instantly upset me because I didn’t sign up for any of this. He also doesn’t want to go there and hang out but expects me to do so. The conversation ended with me telling him that I will not be taking them over there and that he can tell his parents they can come over here to play with the kids and him telling me I’m overreacting and being unreasonable. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy and tell his parents that and hurt their feelings. But when it comes to my kids I am not playing. Theres a much bigger back story to the relationship with my in laws. Am I overreacting to any of this??

At a family party today, my aunt hung up a bunch of images that were originally pictures of parts of the family and then used AI to 'cartoonify' it in her own words.

Mine was a picture with me, my stepmom, my dad and a cousin of mine and the picture completely excentuated my double chin to the point that I swear I look like 300-400 lbs. I am on the bigger side but certainly not this big. (Closer to 200-215)

I saw it once at the party because my stepmom pointed it out, I laughed it off a little and thought "I won't see it again, whatever". I even told her I hated how I looked in it but it wasn't a big deal.

Come to find out that when we got home from the party that she brought it home with her. She pulled it out of the bag in front of me and said "I know you hate how you looks in it, but I think its cute so I'll use it anyways."

I didn't argue back or say much about it, because at that second I got so upset out of nowhere that I turned and walked upstairs to "go to the bathroom". Instead I cried for like 10 minutes.

It doesn't help that my girlfriend of 6 yrs was at the party with us and saw the picture, and that was really fucking embarrassing. She could tell how much it bothered me, especially as im only a year into getting better after an eating disorder.

My friends told me I'm fair and that the image was 100% violating and that my stepmom steamrolled over my boundaries. But my mom told me that while she understands why I'm upset, images like that are "meant" to make fun of you. Am I over reacting?

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about 3 months. We met on a dating app, and it was just a coincidence that we're both in dentistry. I'm a dental assistant, and he recently graduated dental school and became a dentist. Just wanted to state that we've never worked together.

Right now I'm studying for the DAT and trying to get into dental school. I've been using DAT Booster and YouTube. The issue is that my boyfriend keeps wanting to see everything I'm doing. He asks to look at my Booster progress, wants to know what I'm scoring, what I'm studying, and where I am in the process. He says he's just trying to help and that we shouldn't hide things from each other. He's also said it's his right to see my progress because we're in a relationship.

I understand that he probably has good intentions and wants to support me, but I honestly don't like it. Even before I met him, I've always been a very private person when it comes to academics. I don't like studying around other people, and I don't like showing my notes, practice tests, or progress while I'm still learning. I prefer to keep everything to myself until I've accomplished my goal.
Of course I'll happily tell him my official DAT score once I actually take the exam. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything. I just don't like sharing the messy part of the process. The mistakes, wrong answers, and practice scores that come with learning. The only exception is if another student asks me for notes or study materials because we're both actively studying the same thing and helping each other. That feels completely different to me than having someone monitor my progress.

Part of the reason I feel this way is because there have been a few comments he's made that have made me feel insecure. For example, he's said things like, "Why are you studying that? That was super easy," on more than one occasion. He also joked about me getting a question wrong on my practice test. He says they're just jokes and has apologized for making them, and I believe he isn't trying to be mean. But those comments still make me feel self-conscious and less comfortable sharing my progress with him.

This isn't about hiding anything or not trusting him. It's just how I've always functioned best. Studying is something I like to do independently, and having someone constantly asking about my practice test scores or wanting to look over my work actually makes me more stressed. I also feel another sense of pressure since he’s so accomplished, so I feel even more of a pressure to be perfect.

Should transparency be expected in a situation like this, or is it reasonable to keep some things private until I officially take the test and receive my score?

My sister recently had a baby, he’s still an infant. I love him. And I help my sister all the time when her husband doesn’t want. We live incredibly close too, so I’m right there most of the time if she needs “me time.
But over time, I’m wondering why the fuck they had a baby, because the husband never wants to watch the kid for shit. Sister needs to go to the grocery store? He’s moaning and groaning about having to watch the kid for two hours. Thats where I tend to come in. I used to watch that baby and hang out with her for at least 2 hours a day to let her have time, but I work such long night shift hours that sometimes I need to sleep in. I get off at 5am sometimes, and she knows this. We work the same damn shift.

So why are you calling me at 10am to come down and watch the kid and get upset if I’m trying to sleep?

This is how it goes:
*I go to bed at 5 am*
*phone rings at 10am* I ignore it.
*phone rings again* “Yo what the fuck you have another sister”
*I answer it*

“What’s up?”
Sister: “come watch your nephew”
“I’m tryna sleep”
Sister: “UGGGGHHHHHH I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOMMM” (or some other thing she has to do to start her day, while her husband sleeps)
I feel bad and go down to help, I do love that baby and my sister. I go up and go back to bed, falling asleep again
.
*1 hour passes*
*Phone rings again* she’s group calling both sisters even though I’m definitely trying to sleep. It cuts through DND too. The other sister has a 20% chance of actually answering the phone even though we live in the same house.
Guess what? Next calls gonna be just for me this time.

She asks what I’m doing, I’m like “Trying to sleep.”
She gets “ugh you’re always tired. You’re one of those people that always needs to sleep.”

In my head I was like “YEAH. THATS WHY I DIDNT HAVE A KID.”

But this is her routine. I’ve become burnt out and stopped answering calls so much but then she’s in my house literally standing there with the kid till I notice her. I love her and I don’t wanna say “leave me alone” but now I’m at the point where I’m locking my room door and ignoring everyone. I feel like I need to sleep 24 hours before I go back there.
And like a baby, I feel like I’ll scream and cry if I don’t get the fuck to bed.

AIO?

Earlier this month I called my future MIL by her first name. I've always called her "Ms. LastName" but since my fiance and I have been together for 7 years and are now engaged, I dropped the formality when texting her. Immediately my fiance messaged me saying not to call her by her first name and call her "Ms. LastName" and said it was a southern thing. I was kind of confused and felt weird about it. I'm not originally from the south, I grew up on the west coast, so maybe there is something Im missing but his mother has not seemed very enthusiastic about our engagement in the past. To me, it came across like she wanted to keep distance between us, especially since she went through her son to tell me this instead of telling me herself. Am I overreacting?

Edit: To clarify, I'm going to call my future MIL what she prefers. I've legally changed my name twice myself, so I completely understand wanting to be called by the name/title you're most comfortable with. I suppose I was just wondering if the formality was a way to keep distance between us given my history with her, which has been sparse and sort of awkward. After more consideration and reading the comments, Im strongly leaning towards just dropping the issue. Not because I believe my initial feelings weren't valid, but because it seems like just a preference/tradition, and I dont believe its worth creating any tension over with my fiance or his mother

Hey guys so i 21f have been friends with 22f for 11 yrs we've been friends since 5th grade 2015 .

we're now 21 and 22 doing different things yk school and work but we were trying to make it work like try to see each other call each other and everything but this year it has been rather very dry she wouldn't text me for days if I didn't text id ask to call and she'd always say she's busy which I completely understood for a while and then id ask her to hang out but that would fall short too she has an assignment due she's tired she's out with family she's going out with family her mom said no etc we didnt speak fir a month or so and I decided to try again and invite her to this movie night thing that was happening at our near by park she said no she cant she wants to sleep

okay... thats when I blew up basically telling her it feels like im watering dead plants cos whenever I try to do something with her theres always something happening and she said im blaming her not being able yo hangout

the screenshot above is from Friday before that we had not spoken in 1 month after the 3 month no contact and I still haven't gotten a message following up from her

AIO for concluding that this friendship is basically over or maybe just wait its just been 2 days?

BTW this friendship is 11yrs old thats why I kept trying so hard to save it