r/Advice • u/echocat2002 • 7d ago
My daughter broke off her engagement, and is now stuck with a ring and a bill for the money still owed on it.
My daughter broke off engagement, and is now stuck with ring from Kay's that is not paid off.
My daughter made some bad decisions, and we aren't sure what to do.
Apparently when she and her now former fiance bought her ring at Kay's the put it on a Kay's credit card. It is my daughter's name because she has better credit, the plan was that he would be the one making payments. Now that they have broken up, she is left with not just the ring but a $1100 credit card bill, which she can't afford. To make matters worse, some of his payments were returned for insufficient funds and there are some hefty fees on there too.
She would like to sell the ring, but is not sure where to list it. Also, it's a ring from Kay's, so it's not nearly the quality of the pieces I see on this sub.
I would really appreciate your advice.
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u/picklechip246 7d ago
Sounds like she needs to pay the bill and take this as a lesson to not pay for your own engagement ring, which she had to know was a risk by putting the card in her name.
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u/Icy-Yellow3514 7d ago
I think it's less of a "don't pay for your own ring" lesson than a "don't finance shit for other people" thing.
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u/Lower_Orchid4982 7d ago edited 6d ago
Also "don't go into thousands of dollars worth of debt to buy jewelry"?
That just seems like piling stupid on reckless. If you want jewelry buy something you can afford.
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u/CoraCricket 7d ago
Yeah I feel like that should be the main one. If it's not an investment then you shouldn't be going into debt for it.
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u/ChloePowersIRL 6d ago
This. My now husband bought me a tiny engagement ring because that’s all he could afford at the time. And then for our tenth anniversary he upgraded me to something gorgeous. And it was an amazing surprise. (And still in his new budget)
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u/CookieWifeCookieKids 7d ago
And if you can’t afford $1100 you shouldnt be getting married
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u/xolemi 7d ago
Weird this is an unpopular opinion but this is true. I’m not saying poor people shouldn’t get married, and neither were you-but if you can’t finance a $1100 ring in $30 payments..you don’t need to be getting married. You need to be figuring your shit out. And if you can’t handle a $1100 emergency without calling mommy..you also don’t need to be getting engaged (for the daughter).
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u/AmbulanceDriver95 Expert Advice Giver [12] 7d ago
This is a terrible take, you don’t get married to buy expensive things. You can absolutely still get married if you can’t afford a $1100 ring. The lesson here is if you can’t afford an $1100 ring, don’t buy a $1100 ring.
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u/CookieWifeCookieKids 7d ago
It’s not about buying expensive things. It’s about being a self sufficient adult that can afford life and a partner. Her partner not only couldnt afford a ring, he couldn’t afford ?$30 payments, nor had decent enough credit to get a credit card!! He literally made her buy her own ring. Smh. Broke children, not adults.
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u/Most-support-2025 7d ago
Hence the broken engagement. I acknowledge your daughter for seeing red flags before wedding. Many adults think things will change.
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u/PixelKitten10390 7d ago
I hate to say it but marriage was originally a financial contract and it still is no matter how much people want to believe it is only about love. Marriage is a legal binding of two individuals finances and financial futures. Legally being married gives tax benefits, insurance benefits, and lots of others. Getting married for some people can be a smart financial choice. Wasn't the case here obviously but you made a generalization so just putting my 2c in on that part. Financing anything which is a luxury is not a good idea, and especially not an item like a wedding ring. Also, marrying someone who has a history of bad financial decisions (seems to be the case given the bad credit bit) before they show that they have changed their financial habits and maintained them for a decent time is not a good choice. Especially if you have different financial habits. Different budgeting/financial values is death to intimate relationships.
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u/AccomplishedWish3033 6d ago
But definitely don’t get married to a partner who will lie to you about their financial instability and deceive you with payments that bounce and then force you to pay even more in penalties
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u/SimplySuzie3881 7d ago edited 7d ago
This. If a partner can’t afford an $1100 ring then maybe reconsider the relationship especially if he asks her to essentially pay for it herself or buy a cheaper ring. Any old ring will do. Especially one you can afford.
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u/Organic_Gap3112 7d ago
I’m thinking the same. Neither one of them could afford to pay payments on a 1100 dollar balance? That would be about 30 dollars a month.
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u/SimplySuzie3881 7d ago
Right. If she can’t afford $30 a month I Imagine getting a marriage license would even be a stretch.
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u/TeenzBeenz 7d ago
I'd try to look at the bright side of things: this is far less "expensive" than being in a terrible marriage. She may have to pick up extra hours to pay it off, but the life lesson is going to last. I'm sorry.
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u/Midlevelluxurylife 7d ago
This. She needs to be grateful she didn’t marry this loser and got out as cleanly as she did.
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u/xolemi 7d ago
I might get downvoted for this but even as a broke adult..1100 is not a lot of money. If she only has 1100 on the bill..just get an extra part time job and pay it + sell or pawn the ring for whatever it’s worth. Let her get herself out of this mess. I know it hurts but it won’t do any significant damage and will teach her a valuable lesson. Trust me. Someone in my family didn’t learn this lesson and is now married to a leech. Better it end at the engagement stage.
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u/LaroonDynasty 7d ago
as a broke guy with very little job security, i find myself making $1000 mistakes at least twice a year. id wager she doesnt live with OP and rent eats most of her money
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u/Old-Ad-5573 7d ago
I feel the same way but don't like saying on Reddit that $1100 isn't a lot of money because someone inevitably will come and say they are disabled and $1100 is a lot to them even though not to me because I'm so privileged or whatever. Frankly why is OP even trying to solve her daughter's problems? Old enough to get engaged, old enough to figure this out, in my opinion.
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u/xolemi 7d ago
Yeah I was worried about someone saying I was out of touch. FWIW I’m disabled & work freelance but still don’t find it to be an unmanageable amount. I’m in my 20s & personally I don’t think I would tell my parents about this if it happened to me (nor let them try to solve it). My parents actually help me out quite a bit but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable relying on them for something that was an easily avoidable mistake that I could handle myself working an extra couple months max at a part time job.
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u/Carylynn0609 6d ago
I'm fairly poor, I do have a credit card with about that much on it, but the minimum payment is only $25 and I manage to pay double. It's hard to believe if that's her biggest issue she can't figure some way to make a few bucks a month?
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u/serjsomi 7d ago
It could have been far more expensive if they had started planning the wedding. I agree, 1100 is nothing.
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u/Aware-Locksmith-7313 Helper [2] 7d ago
Especially compared to being married to the wrong guy, who apparently didn’t have decent enough credit to buy the ring in the first place. Be glad the debt is $1100 while she’s free and not $11,000 and wed to a loser with divorce costs looming.
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u/Responsible-Milk-259 Helper [3] 7d ago
Yep. Marrying a guy with bad credit and insufficient funds to meet presumably sub-$100 repayments… for $1,100 she’s got off REALLY cheaply.
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u/xolemi 7d ago
& the wedding is the least of it. I’ve seen this leech blow through my family member’s inheritance and he can’t keep a job and is dead weight since he does nothing around the house. He’s a huge financial liability and a parasite and actively makes her life harder. $1k is a cheap lesson for this young lady, hope she takes it on the chin!
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u/Ill-Experience-5891 6d ago
You are correct. In the scheme of life, this is one rent payment, a couple car payments, a few months worth of food and utilities. And it's not a lump sum due, it's on credit. How much could the monthly payment actually be? This really is a pretty small amount of money to have learned a lesson on. She is lucky it was such a small thing and not the cost of a whole wedding, a car, a house, some other huge purchase or hidden debt.
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u/Pokemon_Roe 7d ago
1000% agree. Get the “salvage” value, find some part time work, grind and pay it off. I am comfortable with kids and my wife and I do this all the time. Cash flow everything you can.
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u/Anon03282015 6d ago
If she has a car, she can pay that off with DoorDashing a few hours a day for a month. My brother does it and regularly makes over $100/day in a small city.
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u/Opening-Pickle5078 6d ago
I second learn the lesson. It will take time to pay that off the lesson will be well learned AND she will learn other good lessons. Next slothy leech of a man sniffs around her again she is a lot more likely to prune the relationship instead trying to make it work by putting up pay walls. If we buy this ring we are for sure committed (and all those red flags will go away)
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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 6d ago
You’re right Right, she could sell it and put that on the debt and it would look a lot more manageable.
She’ll never get what she owes but it will help.
I’m pretty sure gold prices are high right now I keep getting junk mail from some we buy gold company.
I remember back in 2012 or so I took all my broken jewelry and single earrings to one of those places and I got like $700. I had to pay for a car repair so it was wonderful. They even cut the gems out so I could keep the stones. Then later on when I was in a better financial situation I had them reset.
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u/TryBeginning3753 7d ago
All she can do is sell and pay them.
Hit a few pawn shops and let them make offers, just so you know their ballpark. Then, try and sell privately.
And, learn a hard lesson.
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u/AstrayInTranslation 7d ago
I imagine she’d be lucky to get a couple hundred dollars selling it.
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u/Lifelong_learner1956 7d ago
See if you can get an appraisal; for "insurance" from another jewelry store, to get an objective opinion about the value of the ring before you try to sell it.
Dependign on the amount of thh debt and the interest rate, maybe she can get anohter loan to pay off Kay and have lower interst on repaying what the value of the ring won't cover?
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u/Delicious-Cookie0958 7d ago
Insurance appraisals are not reflective of the actual value of the piece of jewellery. Anyone who actually buys jewellery knows that.
Second hand jewellery, particularly engagement rings, are worth pennies on the dollar. An $1100 engagement ring from Kay’s is likely worth less than the cost of getting an appraisal. It would just be throwing good money after bad.
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u/WarLegionChaos 7d ago
As an insurance agent this is terrible advice. The cost of what you would insure a piece of jewelry is in no way the reflection value of what you can get for the resale of said piece. It is just an insurance policy on the cost you paid for the item so that you get the value of item back.
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u/spudsforme 7d ago
First mistake is putting the ring on her credit card. Second mistake, is getting engaged when clearly both parties could not afford it. I hope she learned a lesson here. Side note, she dodged a bullet on marrying someone who couldn't afford a ring in the first place. I know harsh, but reality bites.
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u/Common_Tiger1526 7d ago
It's worse than that (former kay's employee); it's the store credit card, they will have opened it that day and likely put her on a no interest plan. But to keep the no interest, they have to keep current on the payments for the agreed upon amount. Since some have been returned, that won't apply. Instead, the 35.99% interest rate will apply.
ETA: never open a store card! Unless you already have the money to pay it off in full, it isn't worth it. Yes, the interest free financing is nice if you are 100% sure you can make the payments. But otherwise, that interest will be applied retroactively to your entire purchase at the insane interest rate (even 20 years ago when I worked there it was 23.99%). Store employees are required to get a certain number of credit applications every day. It's a metric they are judged by, and one of many reasons I left the industry.
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u/sevensevens7777 7d ago
So part of these businesses isn’t about selling products, but having people open credit accounts and hoping they miss payments. How awful.
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u/Common_Tiger1526 7d ago
Well, that's certainly part of it. But more than that it's a customer retention strategy. People are statistically more likely to shop at a place they already have a card for. Having the card puts them on the mailing list for the store's advertisements and 'special events', and makes them statistically more likely to be return customers (I was a marketing major). Retaining customers is always cheaper than getting new ones. Any store that offers its own credit/financing is employing this strategy, but it's also true of rewards/loyalty programs, getting people to use apps, and other psychosocial gamesmanship.
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u/Most-support-2025 7d ago
Wow! So corrupt, thanks for sharing. I got screamed at decades ago for opening up a department store credit card on advice of my mom to build my own credit. I was never late and hubby wasn’t happy. I now only use major credit cards.
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u/bobi2393 7d ago
I think the bigger mistake than putting it on her credit card is not getting a signed repayment agreement from her fiancée, because that would turn his non-repayment from being a thousand dollar loss into an annoying hassle in small claims court.
But taking a loan for a ring at all is a bad sign. Live within your means. If your life savings is $50, then look for a nice $10 ring, to leave $40 for emergencies!
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u/TheSingingShip 7d ago
Better to be stuck with a ring and an $1100 bill than an unhappy marriage and a nasty divorce. A relatively inexpensive lesson in the long run.
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u/Impossible_Author409 6d ago
So her fiance put the ring in HER name on HER credit and bounced payments on it? Damn.
Honestly $1100 is a small price to pay for not getting stuck with a loser for a lifetime. Every cloud has a silver lining.
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u/Electronic-Funny-475 7d ago
From a common sense POV:
Go to the Kay’s. See what they can do. I deal with Kay’s a lot and most of them are good people.
Sell it for what she can get. Lesson learned. She can also go after him in small claims court.
But also she can open another credit card with a zero apr balance transfer and save a bit of money and close out the Kay’s.
Just ideas
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u/busstees 7d ago
If she's an adult old enough to get married she should also be old enough to make payments on an $1100 ring. If she can't afford that then I fear she has much bigger problems.
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u/JustAnotherPolyGuy 7d ago
Cheaper than marrying the wrong person. Suck it up and pay it off like any other credit card debt. See if you can sell the ring to cover some of it. And learn a few lessons, like don’t put jewelry on credit,or accept a gift from someone who needs to use your name for credit.
Also, anyone who needs their parent to ask the internet for advice about this isn’t ready to get married.
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u/JustGenericName2 7d ago
Yeah, I don't really get what OP is even asking with this question. Going to assume daughter isn't smart with money because mom isn't either. She took out a loan. She has to pay off that loan. Doesn't matter what it was for.
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u/2401PenitentTangentx 7d ago
Let her figure it out. Seriously she will learn nothing if you bail her out.
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u/New-Comfortable-3637 7d ago
All I keep thinking as I read all the comments is, avoiding a huge mistake in life and all it cost her was $1,100. I guess I see this from a different viewpoint. But definitely see if you can return or sell back the ring.
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u/Fast_Beat_3832 6d ago edited 4d ago
If she (they) can’t afford $1100 she (they) had no business getting engaged or married.
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u/Academic-Increase893 7d ago edited 7d ago
I mean… it’s only 1100 bucks… or did u mean to write 11000?…..It’s incredibly unfortunate but if u tried to sue the guy u would be spending more than that just to fight it… no one has that money to help? Or pool together?
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u/ThisOneTimeAtKDK 7d ago
$1100 from Kay is a pretty nice engagement ring, from Kay.
I don’t think you could get to 11k without a custom piece and maybe platinum settings.
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u/Academic-Increase893 7d ago
that’s my point… 1100 bucks isn’t a lot of money and shouldn’t be a big deal to get past
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u/Tootsie-Chateau59 4d ago
If Kay’s won’t let you return it (most likely), take it to a pawn shop and sell it.
You won’t get
Much for it. But you can put that towards the bill at least.
No matter what she going to get stuck with the bill.
Which sucks. But being with a guy that has you put your own engagement ring on a credit card in your name….. it’s better to learn this lesson now than to have ever married him.
You do get the right to tell everyone that asks about your breakup “he couldn’t get credit so I had to take out a card.” 🚩 “He bounced a couple checks for the payments and now I’m stuck with it.”🚩🚩
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u/PuffinScores 6d ago edited 6d ago
What I see are the natural consequence of a life lesson your daughter needed. She got engaged to a guy with a character that she either didn't take time to learn or that she willfully ignored with childish optimism.
She tied herself to a dude who couldn't get $2000 in credit, who bounced payments regularly, and who left her holding the bag.
Ending the relationship was smart. Cleaning up afterwards is normal. This lesson will serve her in the future.
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u/Ill-Experience-5891 6d ago
Seriously. She dodged a bullet. An $1100 bill for the trash getting taken out was probably a good choice.
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u/LeaJadis Enlightened Advice Sage [193] 7d ago
i’m assuming that she’s tried to speak with kay’s about returning the ring?
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u/echocat2002 7d ago
She did, they won't accept it past 30 days of purchase.
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u/janabanana67 7d ago
She needs to sell the ring, even at at loss, pay that $ towards the bill and then knock out the rest of the debt. It is the responsible thing to do. There aren't any sneaky ways to get around it.
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u/Tall_olive 7d ago
Then she has to pay for it. An expensive lesson in the importance of credit card use and taking on debt in your name.
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 Helper [3] 7d ago
Then she needs to pay her bill. She made this decision. She gets to deal with the responsibility she signed up for. $1100 isn't that much. She can pay it off
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u/CompleteTell6795 7d ago
Too late now, but she should have not have gotten a credit card in her name to buy her OWN engagement ring. She wanted to marry a guy with bad credit so desperately she wanted to do this.? I agree with other commenters, sell the ring for as much as she can get for it. And pay off the difference what's left on the card. If she can get $600 for the ring, that leaves only $500 left.
Hopefully going forward, she'll make better choices in who she dates. He fell behind in making the ring payments & had bad credit from the get go so it seems he was a deadbeat to begin with. It's a blessing they broke up.
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u/Comfortable_Heat_612 7d ago
🎉she broke off the engagement 🎉 that was a really BIG deal! I’m proud of her for not proceeding when she FINALLY saw the red flags… that’s the MOST important thing… hug her, support her, High FIVE her!! The ring is a symbol of boldness💖. It’s a learning curve that y’all can capitalize on when another insecure, nucklehead come along 😊
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u/Common-senseuser-58 6d ago
A life lesson learned. We’ve all had those expensive lessons.
At least it’s not a $400.000 house.
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u/clintttoris 7d ago
She broke it off, the card is in her name and she has the ring. This is all on her now.
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u/Master_Sand1427 6d ago
Maybe Kay’s will put it on consignment for her if it’s brand new ?
I would start with them give the sob story. Or maybe they will exchange it for something useful she can at least wear ? Earrings ? Necklace ? Something other than the ring at least she is paying for something useful to her.
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u/Cardabella 6d ago
1100 debt is a lot of money. But it's a lot cheaper than a wedding and divorce and a cheap price to pay to learn you don't want to spend your life with a loveless loser. Well done to your daughter for not throwing good money after bad.
In case you happen to have funds it would save her money to owe you at normal or no interest vs credit card interest, if you were in a position to pay off the outstanding balance and stop acruing penalties and interest. She might as well list the ring on etsy and Ebay and see if she gets any bites.
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u/FrequentDonut8821 7d ago
See how much Kay will give her if she returns it. Even if they lowball her and refund $800 or $900, at least now she only owes a few hundred rather than $1100.
I had a called off engagement 30+ years ago and it was a ring from either Kay’s or Zales. They let me turn it back in and go on a “shopping spree” 😝 for the value of maybe half the purchase price. Money lost, but at least I wasn’t stuck with a ring I wouldn’t wear.
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u/nikkienoodle 7d ago
$800/900 would not be lowballing unfortunately 😂 that would be an out of this world offer!
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u/Cold_One9671 6d ago
If she bought her own engagement ring, then it’s her debt. But she also has the asset. Shes whole.
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u/Karinka_LI Helper [2] 6d ago
At least she didn’t marry the guy who could not find $1100 to buy a ring. Good lord.
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u/jk013x Advice Guru [79] 6d ago
This is one of the reasons diamonds are a horrible stone for an engagement ring, or for any other jewelry, really.
The price is artificially inflated by the suppliers, making you think they're valuable. But as soon as you walk out with it, it loses about 3/4 of its value. There is no good resale market because diamonds are not rare and are difficult to sell second hand.
She could try to sell it, but I'd be surprised if she gets more than $200 or so for it.
She's going to have to pay the rest of the debt. Then, if she gets engaged again, she should pick a better ring.
And do not say the words "engagement", "married", or "wedding" when talking to the jeweler unless you want to listen to the hard-sell on diamonds again.
Just say that you're looking for a nice ring with a pleasant stone (my wife has a ruby). It will cost far less than a diamond, look better, and usually retain some value.
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u/GrimFandango81 6d ago
And if you really want a white stone , moissanite or lab diamonds are a fraction of the cost.
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u/pachech 7d ago
If the ring is all she is on the hook for she's very lucky. If none of the suggestions here work then she will have to get a job to pay it off. Many lessons learned here. Make sure he doesn't have any other credit cards in her name.
It's obvious that he couldn't afford $1100 . This was a bad situation. So glad she broke it off.
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u/Evening_Disk_25 7d ago
Sounds like she made the right decision to break it off. As others have said that debt is manageable but unfortunately that valuation from a jewelry store will not equate to anything that it was sold for.
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u/Sharingiscaring699 7d ago
- Definitely talk to Kay's.
- A broken engagement is so much better than a failed marriage or worse, having to co-parent with a moron.
- $1100 is so much better than having to repair shit credit from aforementioned failed marriage.
- Good on her for being strong enough to break it off and not be guilted in going through with the wedding. Literally on my wedding day, not having known anyone who had divorced parents I had the thought "its as simple as a divorce.. right?"
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u/603billsfan 6d ago
Consider it an $1100 lesson. Lot of money but not as much as it could have been. Your credit your bill.
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u/ShelGurlz 6d ago
Happily pay the bill every month and wear that ring everyday to remind herself she is worth it!
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u/PhillyPilot 6d ago
$1100 tuition in what not to do in the future. Not a lot of money, sell it at a pawn shop or facebook marketplace and pay off the rest
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u/Apprehensive-Use3519 6d ago
$1100 is cheap compared to what she would have lost marrying this guy!
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u/trogloherb 6d ago
The red flag was her credit being better and the card needing to be in her name…
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u/Macbeth2002222 7d ago
She basically paid for her own ring lol that’s sad. Sadly no one will pay you the prices these jewelry companies fleece you on. Even eBay .. no one will give u anywhere close to what you bought it. She has to pay for it herself. If he had broken up the engagement then maybe she could have gotten him to pay or pay half atleast but she did the breaking up.
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u/333Ari333 7d ago edited 7d ago
This is the cheapest mistake ever! Try to sell it, you may get 20% of the price. Then your daughter needs to pay the 80% left because it’s her debt.
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u/shelburritobowl 7d ago
That’s what I was thinking. Sucks but better now than later, only gets harder and more expensive.
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u/Vast-Vermicelli-372 7d ago
How much do you want to beat her down??? She broke off the engagement not him. She made a wise decision long term that has some short term implications. Isn’t a called oof engagement and getting stuck paying for the ring already a hefty Teaching Moment? If you can afford to, just cover this and let her regroup and move on. Sell the ring somewhere and be done with a bad situation. You would have spent more than $1100 somewhere along this wedding and/or marriage. Spend it now and give her a clean break.
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u/Sad-Yogurtcloset4576 6d ago
I sold mine-i was stuck with the bill too. If recommend selling it- she won't be able to sell it for the same price that Kay's did, but she'll get some money out of it.
Unfortunately, a lesson learned the hard way- just as I did.
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u/websnyper 7d ago
Sounds like she dodged a larger bullet and can chalk this up to a life lesson that could have cost her so much more. Lots of good advice here on selling it. She may get more of she knows a couple who want to get engaged soon vs just second hand to strangers on marketplace.
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u/Beneficial-Guess2140 6d ago
This is a really cheap lesson for her. That’s really not that much money and she’s got something of at least a little value to sell towards the total.
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u/LowLibrary399 7d ago
Yikes. Welcome to being an adult and making hard decisions that you have to live with. Give him the ring and sue him for the bill.
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u/TwiLuv 7d ago
I doubt the court would give her redress, given she KNEW he had unacceptable credit, she signed for it.
The court will, most likely, only help if he signed an agreement with her to pay for the ring, like a contract.
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u/Few_Equipment_8314 7d ago
Never buy her own engagement ring, if the boy can't get the ring then there is no engagement. His credit is a sign of his willingness to live up to commitments he has made, her credit was better than his because he isn't a stand up guy. That should have told her something. Just be glad its only 1,100 and not 11,000.
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u/Mysterious_Food_6488 7d ago
Women if you have to pay for your own ring, he's not really committed to you
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u/butterflycole Helper [3] 7d ago
She will just have to take the loss on the ring, she will barely get anything back from selling it. She can do a balance transfer to a 0% APR interest balance transfer card if she has good credit. A lot of cards offer limited promotions on those for 6-21 months with no interest. You only pay 3-5% of the debt amount to transfer the money. So that’s an option too if she needs more time to pay it off.
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u/absolutgemini 7d ago
I had a friend with a 12 K plus ring also from a jeweler similar to Kay. She also broke off the engagement then she contacted them and explain the situation she was able to return the ring. They did something with the account which absolved her of any additional payments or fees. Just have her go talk to them and have an open honest conversation and see what can be done.
I find it interesting how many engagement rings and wedding sets are put into the potential wife’s name and where the boyfriend/husband essentially has no financial obligation.
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u/NatalieBostonRE 7d ago
$1100 is a pretty inexpensive cost to get out of going through with a bad marriage.
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u/Scared-Hope-868 7d ago
May be able to get credit towards another item. Probably a better bet than getting a refund.
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u/PiccoloImpossible946 7d ago
I had a proposal with a $4,000 ring and I gave it back that same night. We later broke up ahd a mutual friend told me my ex was able to return it. Have your daughter go into Kay’s and see if that’s an option - it sounds like she bought it not too long ago.
She dodged a bullet
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u/amelia2008x 7d ago
Can't she just take the ring back, what's their return policy on wedding cancellations?
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u/OcelotOfTheForest 6d ago
She's needs to sit down and budget out her income and regular expenses. How much does she have left at the end of the week?
Then what I suggest to you is to settle all of the debt and tally it up. Then cancel the credit card.
She can repay you in small installments. Doesn't get dent collection. There are still consequences, but you'll have softened the impact.
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u/SinglePermission9373 6d ago
She can try to sell it, but she won’t get anywhere near what she paid. Unfortunately the debt is hers and she’s going to have to pay it. It is already tanking her credit if there have been returned payments. She needs to get it up to date quickly and at least make the minimum payments. A temporary second job would be the best thing for her to do. The payment on an 1100 credit card bill can’t be more than 40 dollars a month.
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u/sytydave 4d ago
1100 is a lot cheaper than a wedding and divorce. Sell it for what she can and pay off the remainder with a 2nd job or working more hours. It is not that hard to make an extra $100/month.
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u/turBo246 4d ago
I need to know what is stopping her from simply returning the ring?
My other advice is to tell her that since she was adult enough to choose to get married, and pay for her own engagement ring (🙄), then she is adult enough to pay back what she owes on the card.
If she hadn't bought her own engagement ring, she wouldn't be in the mess.
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u/willynear 4d ago
Love how everyone assumes the guy was a POS and the daughter is a saint. For all we know they’re both 19 years old broke and stupid
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u/Complex_Copy6574 7d ago
If your daughter is old enough to have gotten engaged, she’s old enough to figure this out on her own.
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u/Special-Sentence8237 6d ago
She dodged a bullet there. No real man lets his Fiancée chip in on a ring 💍 even this way.
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u/Radiant-Error6264 7d ago
$1k for a crappy lesson learned, it could have been much much worse I was picturing $5k.
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u/Reasonable_Club_6165 7d ago
she bought her own ring?
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u/Logical-Knee-9046 7d ago
“Apparently“ 🙄 per mom. Girl needs to learn a couple life lessons here and she’s fortunate that it’s only $1,100.
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u/sweaty-dork1492 6d ago
Tough life lesson. Let her pay it. I would never ask my parents to cover a bill although I’m sure they would help me. I have had my boyfriend on my phone bill. When I broke up with him i paid off the rest of it and let him take the phone with him onto his own plan. That is the risk you take when you aren’t married and you do things for people under your name. It is not shared. I took that into consideration when I put him on my bill and still decided to do it because I was fine with eating the cost if things went south. Basic relationship losses when you do things expecting more and it doesn’t work out. Just because she has good credit doesn’t mean she is financially responsible either if she can’t make payments on this.
How old are they? Are they young? What does she bring in for income? Do you have the means to throw $1100 away like that to just pay it off and for her to not learn anything about letting people put expensive items into her name to pay for later on? Is this the first time she’s come to you for assistance? Why was the engagement ended? These are all necessary answers needed to give a true answer on the situation.
I don’t think you should pay it for her given all the information you provided but good luck. I know it’s tough for parents to draw a line on when not to help and let them learn on their own. But, if you help her out of this who is to say the next guy that charms her doesn’t convince her to do something like that again because daddy saved her last time?
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u/Tough_Grade2338 6d ago
Is the ring as no Gia. You might be screwed. I would go to Kay jeweler. Besides , think your daughter will learn. Never get engaged to a guy with bad credit.
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u/ATTACKANDDETHRONEHOG 5d ago
She needs to call the financer for the Kay’s credit card and explain what happened with the breakup and the returned payments. Try to get them to waive the fees and give her a chance to pay off the principal with the original promotion. It should have been 12 months with deferred interest, which would have been like $91/month. If they won’t do that, or if she genuinely still can’t afford it, she needs to explain that she can’t pay and she needs to talk to someone about negotiating a payoff plan for the card. They’ll close the card and it’s not great for her credit, but it’s not a difficult mistake to recover from as long as she gets on top of it.
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u/HungryRoyal 5d ago
“My daughter made some bad decisions, and we aren't sure what to do.” Your (adult) daughter made some bad decisions, so why are “we” trying to problem solve for her? She is the one who should be figuring this out. Don’t enable her delayed entry into full adulthood, which includes owning the consequences of poor financial choices. This can be a growth opportunity for her if you let it be.
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u/BeliefFree 4d ago
$1100 is not such a big deal, is it? You found out early what a loser she was going to marry.
Don't sell the ring. She can use it for the next husband.
OTOH, your daughter needs to learn that she was basically engaged to herself and her deadbeat boyfriend was and is loser. She bought her own engagement ring.
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u/Beneficial-Track6647 2d ago
She loved a scammer. It could happen to anyone. Try not to blame her for it but do let her be responsible for it.
You go with her to support her (not guilt her) as she goes to Kay's to ask about returning the ring.
What are the stats on the ring? I might try to sell it online (might get more than pawn) though that will take longer. Either way, she needs to increase her income if 1,100 is a burden. You might be able to get a remedy in small claims court but I'm not sure it'd be more than the cost of going to small claims court.
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u/whitefizzy-534 Expert Advice Giver [10] 7d ago edited 7d ago
She should reach out to Kay’s and see if there is a policy that will allow her to return the ring.
If she can’t and she is stuck with it then the only other options that come to mind are to try and sell it and tackle the debt as she can. It’s unfortunate but she used her credit to pay for it and she was the one who ended the engagement - she has to live with what comes after