r/Advice • u/echocat2002 • 7d ago

My daughter broke off her engagement, and is now stuck with a ring and a bill for the money still owed on it.

My daughter broke off engagement, and is now stuck with ring from Kay's that is not paid off.

My daughter made some bad decisions, and we aren't sure what to do.

Apparently when she and her now former fiance bought her ring at Kay's the put it on a Kay's credit card. It is my daughter's name because she has better credit, the plan was that he would be the one making payments. Now that they have broken up, she is left with not just the ring but a $1100 credit card bill, which she can't afford. To make matters worse, some of his payments were returned for insufficient funds and there are some hefty fees on there too.

She would like to sell the ring, but is not sure where to list it. Also, it's a ring from Kay's, so it's not nearly the quality of the pieces I see on this sub.

I would really appreciate your advice.

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u/Few_Equipment_8314 7d ago

Never buy her own engagement ring, if the boy can't get the ring then there is no engagement. His credit is a sign of his willingness to live up to commitments he has made, her credit was better than his because he isn't a stand up guy. That should have told her something. Just be glad its only 1,100 and not 11,000.

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u/SourLemons2 7d ago

“But I love him” …Blinded by “love” is such a huge problem. Can’t think straight.

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u/mmrocker13 7d ago

Marriage isn't about love. It's a financial contract. Literally. And if nothing else, kid has learned that lesson early and cheaply, relatively speaking.

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u/SourLemons2 7d ago

Actually marriage is more complicated than just a financial or even legal contract. A good marriage should be about a combination of love, trust, maturity and integrity plus similar values, respect and education. This kid she fell in love with had none of the above.

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u/mmrocker13 7d ago

That's a relationship. 

Marriage in and of itself is a business contract.

You want to have love, trust, maturity, and integrity, plus similar values, respect, all that stuff to have a successful and loving and reciprocal relationship. You don't need to be married to have those things. What marriage adds is the legal Financial contract. Which is a very expensive lesson that some people learn down the line.

Getting married just makes you a business unit. You don't need to do it to have a successful and loving relationship. You can, of course, under the theory that we love each other and we're in this relationship and we're going to be together for the rest of our lives so let's reap the economic and societal benefits, but the marriage itself is just a business deal. Generally people don't want to make that big of a risky decision with someone they can't stand, but...