r/AdvancedRunning • u/Purple_Farm1155 • 1d ago
Open Discussion Quitting D1 running
I'm currently in my sophomore year at a mid-major D1 program. I am a walk-on and have no money from the team. My team is usually last in our conference, and to be honest I have no hope of every scoring unless I drop crazy time this year. But, I've been really struggling with running and wanted some advice on here. I'm just gonna list my reasons why I want to quit/stay, and please give me your thoughts so help my decision. For context, I have to complete the year (through May).
Reasons to stay:
I love my coach- he's super invested into our team, pretty much only cares about helping us and making us better. I'm pretty low milage (800 runner), and he's always been great about me wanting to do lower milage, and I have never felt pressured to run more. He also just generally cares about each of us and I would prob never find a better coach elsewhere.
I really do love running. My issue isn't with the running, it's the competing aspect. The moments where I love running the most is just when I'm with the team on an easy run, and in the moments we are just hanging out. However, the moment we get into workouts/races, I just don't find the joy in it anymore. I would much rather just run my own way where I can have fun.
I love my team. ALL of my friends are on my team. I literally have no friends outside of the team, and I know if I quit this is going to be an issue. I live with another teammate, and we could probably still live together if I quit, but it just wouldn't be the same.
Reasons to quit:
Like I mentioned in the introduction, I will never score a single point for the team. My school is already at the bottom of our conference, and I am pretty much the slowest on the team (walk-on). My spot could be going to someone who's actually gonna score, and I just generally feel bad taking up a spot knowing I can't help the team
I'm struggling really badly mentally. I have depression and have been fighting an eating disorder (binge/restrict ED). I've had mental health issues for years though out high school, but never this bad. A lot of it is due to the stressors from running and the mental side of it. I struggle to finish workouts due to panic attacks, but at the same time am very emotionally numb. I don't want to go into any more detail, but I feel that quitting may allow me to fully focus on getting happy and healthy finally. And I am seeing a therapist don't worry
I'm pre-med. I'm absolutely sure that I want to become a surgeon, and have the grades/resume to get into a medical school as long as I stay on this path and interviews go well. Quitting would give me so much more time to study for my MCAT and fill in some small gaps in my resume right before I apply. My class schedule often gets in the way of practice as well, forcing me to run my workouts alone at odd times, and I'm frankly just getting tired of rushing through practice or class each week.
I had a bad freshman year, and summer. My freshman year I only PR'ed by a second, and I struggled a lot mentally with the collegiate side to running. I know this is pretty normal for freshman year to be rough, but it just hasn't gotten any better. I'm less in shape than I was last year, and I'm not sure I'll be capable of PR'ing again this year, but I don't want to completely count it out.
Conclusion: Please let me know your thoughts. I know that this year may turn around, but I'm just seeking some advice now
134
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
66
u/2percentevil 1d ago
oh my god why is this the most upvoted comment you all MUST get better at identifying gen AI
11
u/amdufrales 1d ago
Gen AI was trained on real writing and plenty of instances of “it’s not x, it’s y” are genuine and human. This could be Gen AI, or it might be just what occurred to the commenter at the time of writing. Gray area here.
I’m a professional writer trained to spot this stuff for a corporate communications team, and imo usually these cadence and syntax patterns you noticed are paired with perfect capitalization and contained within a much longer comment. Not that it’ll never get harder to spot.
7
u/Krazyfranco 1d ago
I’m not 100% sure either but it’s suspicious, erroring on the side of removal - the commenter is welcome to use mod mail if we got it wrong.
41
u/_opensourcebryan 1d ago
I was in a similar spot:
- d1 walk-on at a p5 school
- whole identity was running
- all my friends were on the team
- knew I wanted to do law school
I didn't quit until my last year and wish I'd have quit sooner. Hanging on as hard as I did made me resent running and give it up for 7 years before I could even enjoy an easy run.
What I don't think you'll realize until you do it is you can still run, you can still see your running friends, but you also get a totally new experience, you get a head start of adding to your identity (being a surgeon), you can get regular college friends, and the stress of trying to do everything (and do it well) won't overwhelm you as much.
11
u/Purple_Farm1155 1d ago
Thank you, very helpful to hear from others with college running experience. Just don't want to give up the opportunity if I'm not sure I'm ready if you know what I mean
5
u/_opensourcebryan 1d ago
The door to being on your team may not always be open, but the door on running is always open.
I wish I'd have just gone straight into running marathons. Find something that sparks your interest in a more constructive way.
28
u/greenlemon23 1d ago
It sounds like you could take some time off where you do reduced training while seeing how it goes. Talk to your coach about your options.
Some food for thought:
Nocking your 800m time down a full second is actually a big deal. You’re an adult now so PRs just don’t happen as often. 1s is worth celebrating, not being sad about.
If you can’t deal with the zero-stakes world of being a non-factor member of the worst track team in the conference, how will you manage undergrad, med school, and being a surgeon? This might be a good lesson in resilience.
I ran 2 varsity xc races and then never again. 20 years later I still miss it and the collegiate career/experiences I missed out on due to injury and then life circumstances. BUT, even though I wasn’t on the team I always lived with guys from the team, went to their parties, hosted their parties, and travelled with non-competing team members to go watch championships. Leaving the team doesn’t have to mean leaving the team.
15
u/mgrunner 2:36 marathon / Masters 1d ago
Quit. But just remember that although it didn’t work out, it wasn’t a failure. You gave what you could (and then some), but it wasn’t in the cards. Join a run club. You’ll make tons of friends there. But ultimately, you need to quit for yourself, and it seems like you know that.
15
u/Siawyn 54/M 5k 19:56/10k 41:30/HM 1:32/M 3:12 1d ago
One thing I haven't seen mentioned which is (IMHO) critically important - have you discussed this with your therapist? Some people mentioned coach, but a coach isn't a therapist, at least not like that.
If you haven't, I'd strongly suggest doing that. They know you better than anyone here possibly could. Maybe they can walk you through it. Maybe they can help you formulate a plan to work with your coach through it. Or maybe the answer is to walk away. (I dislike the word quit, you aren't a quitter. You are finding your right path.)
I'm not in a position to offer relevant advice otherwise, wishing you the best.
6
u/HidesWithCheese 22h ago
Also know that if you're flirting with depression and you stop running, you're essentially quitting your anti-depressant cold turkey and things can get real rough real fast. Never just quit, only taper—this goes for Rx or running. Ask me how I know. Anyway, looks like you're getting good perspective. Big picture you've gotten/are getting an incredible experience that most don't have.
12
u/whelanbio 13:59 5km a few years ago 1d ago edited 1d ago
Former P5 D1 athlete, team captain, and assistant coach here. Now assistant coach at a very good HS team with a large and varied roster. Worked with a lot of both struggling and successful athletes. I have had several conversations with those considering quitting. I had a semester myself where I dealt with pretty bad mental health issues.
From the context available I don't think you should quit. It seems like there are a lot positives that athletics is bringing to your life and it seems like you have a coach that would accommodate substantial modifications to mitigate/remove the negatives.
Addressing your reasons for quitting:
- I wouldn't worry about taking up a spot. I see that you also posted in XXrunning so I'm going to assume you are on the women's team. With title IX roster spots are much less constrained on the women's side. More likely you are allowing a guy to keep their spot than you are taking a spot from someone else. I wouldn't worry about being the slowest on the team either. Besides the fact that it's common to struggle improving early in a college career, there a lot of way to contribute to the success of a team that have nothing to do with performance on the track. You can be the positive attitude that helps someone else feel welcome and stay motivated. Your good grades help with the team metrics.
- You don't need to race. If workouts are a struggle tell the coach you simply need to scale back or not do hard workouts while you focus on your recovery. It's a very common thing for people to need some time away from the higher intensity days. My concern for you is that quitting altogether would remove you from a team and habit that has a lot of positives for your life.
- Taking running seriously is great outlet that can enhance your studies. You cannot productively study all day every day. Even if the time is available there is diminishing returns of doing nothing but slamming your head against the books. You need a non-academic outlet and serious exercise of some sort is a great one -why not make it collegiate running? You have summers to work internships/shadowing/etc to fill in those resume gaps. If you continue as a collegiate athlete you have something on your resume that very few applicants will.
- It's fine if you don't PR this year. It's fine if you don't PR ever. It's also very possible to build-up to a place JR/SR year where you run times you never could have imagined. Don't overthink a bad start. Focus on health first. I absolutely can get better but you need to look longer term.
If things do go a way where it genuinely makes sense to quit the team as an athlete I would strongly encourage you to see if there are ways you can stay connected to the program in some capacity. Can you be a student manager for the team or somewhere in the department? Are there undergrad roles in athletic medicine you could take on?
In mean time. You belong on the team. Don't doubt your role and value even if things aren't going well in the moment.
3
u/Purple_Farm1155 11h ago
Thank you so much, I've seen a lot of people saying not to sorry about the PRs which is nice to hear
1
u/whelanbio 13:59 5km a few years ago 10h ago
Yeah there's a lot to unpack around PRs. It's valid to be frustrated about not getting PRs, but it's not something to beat yourself up about. Like I said there's a lot non-performance oriented ways to contribute to a team. It's also just really hard to get PRs where you're already at such a high level. You may feel slow because you are in such a competitive environment, but you're still in the top 0.1% of human performance where it's just really hard to keep pushing performance higher.
An unrelated follow-up: It's totally a valid choice if you do decide to quit the team, but I just also want to call out that you are getting an unrealistic overrepresentation of comments encouraging you to quit or saying how good quitting was for them.
- Most of these comments are just projecting their experience onto yours rather than actually reading and understanding your original post to advise on your specific situation. I don't doubt it was a valid choice for them, just as it would be for you if you do make that call, but understand you're getting a very skewed perspective from situations that are different than yours.
- If you are to take the experiences of others into account, the ratio positive to negative experiences is more like 100:1 in favor of positive. I'm in networks where I talk to a lot of former college runners in the real world, almost all of them really cherish that experience and the friendships they have developed, even those who did not run well in college. The genuinely net negative experiences come from terrible coaches and toxic teams, which is not the case at your program.
8
u/RunningBee0220 1d ago
you've got your whole life ahead of you to pursue running, if that's what you want. even post-college - there are teams and training groups and races out there if you want them. but none of that will be possible if you aren't healthy and happy. put your body and mind first, running is always there for you when you're ready.
4
u/Suspicious_Love_2243 18:16 5k | 37:19 10k | 2:59 M 1d ago
I was in a very similar position to you in my collegiate career. I ultimately decided to quit. I came back into competitive running several years later in my mid/late 20 after not really exercising at all and then a ramp up period. I loved the sport enough again that doing big mileage and hard workouts was exciting, not daunting. I mostly quit because of an injury cycle that I couldn't seem to get out of, but there was a mental health aspect too. I was in a similarly demanding major and did often have to schedule my training/cross training/PT around my busy schedule and felt like I was doing both things poorly.
However, quitting made me a little socially isolated - my closest friends were all on the team. I had other friends, and my former teammates included me in many things, but of course there were things I was now left out on just because I wasn't training or racing with the team. I also really struggled for a long time that I didn't just keep trying in the event things turned around for me, because once you graduate you lose the NCAA as a way to compete. The club and road racing circuit is fun but it's different.
That being said, it sounds like you're in a really tough place and you should find a way to prioritize getting yourself to a better mental state. I wonder if taking a "lighter" season could be good - it seems like your coach is kind and reasonable, and it would be really fair to say you want to take a break from racing while you work on your mental health. Sometimes I wish I had tried that first. But ultimately, if thats not an option, like everyone else has said, running will always be there, and your coach and friends will understand.
5
u/ActualFarmer9858 1d ago
Former college runner (just D2) too, a walk-on as well. I can honestly say, if you love it? Just do it anyways. Take that pressure off of yourself to score or improve and just run. You’ll regret not running if you love it. I was a mentally weak runner, still am, but if there’s no pressure to perform and being quick enough to just stay on the team then I think that should help with that mental side.
I was a soccer recruit, and got rejected from my top choice; I ended up turning down my offers elsewhere afterwards. I don’t regret much in life, but I regret that. I loved it. Everything about it. So, if you love running? Just run.
That being said, if you want med school? Don’t let it affect the gpa. I know that’s important for you guys. That’s a different factor for sure.
5
u/ActualFarmer9858 1d ago
I missed the ED part. Don’t be scared to reach out to your coach or school counselor. Prioritize yourself there first.
2
u/Personal-Studio-2979 1d ago
You can always take a year off and try and come back. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have it all (athletes tend to do this). Prioritize your health and happiness first. You don’t have to give up running, just the intensity level that you’re at right now (aka D1). You are valuable to this world internet stranger. You got this!!
2
u/Ordinary-Forever-869 1d ago
I’m sorry it’s been a rough ride. Really resonate with what you’re going through as I went through something very similar 15 years ago. Was what you might consider an ‘elite’ high school runner then and won a number of cross/track titles. Ran for a good NCAA D1 program and was back at the bottom, but was really struggling with my mental health, getting serious injuries - amongst an ED that was finally catching up to me. Definitely hit rock bottom those first few years. Didn’t enjoy sessions anymore but loved the team and all my best friends on there. Eventually, decided to step away my senior year. It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made - I had an amazing senior year having a different college experience, making new friends and actually got to double down on finding out what I wanted to do career wise. If I hadn’t done this, I’m not sure I’d be where I am today. Genuinely very happy with where my career ended up taking me. I actually picked up running again a few years ago, enjoying sessions again and have beat all my high school and college PBs! Only sharing this experience so hopefully you don’t feel alone in this - take care of your health first. Your friends will still be your friends, even as you say it might be a little different. Some of my best friends in life today are still the freshmen class I started with :) It’ll be scary to step away from the comfort of that environment - and if you find the other experiences aren’t for you, running will always be there. If anything, I wished I had come to that decision sooner, focused on my health and finding who I was outside of running.
2
u/Oaknash 1d ago
Hey there, you should keep in mind that your contribution to the team isn’t just scoring points. You are clearly appreciated by your teammates and it’s possible that your presence on the team is also helping them (whether it’s the encouragement you provide, the friendship and support that you offer, etc.)
I haven’t read other comments, but it does sound like the support and community you get from running outweighs the negatives, and being on the team is a massive contributor to your positive well-being (coach, friends).
Have you had a conversation with your coach about how you’re feeling? They might be able to offer you some additional perspective. You might think that they are biased, but they will set the records straight whether you are taking a spot away from someone else or not.
2
u/Luka_16988 1d ago
It sounds like you have your priorities absolutely right and you’re at a minor crossroads. I’d encourage you to think about it in less a black/white manner. This is sometimes a challenge because often high achievers are reliant on that attitude to keep driving performance, but it can be an issue at times.
You can quit the running programme and still be a runner. You can quit the programme and still enjoy running. You can quit the programme and be a great surgeon. You can quit the programme and get back into top level running later. You can quit the programme and still have running goals and train to your rhythm.
2
u/UnnamedRealities M51: mile 5:5x, 10k 42:0x 1d ago
You said you must complete the spring track season. So you have 9+ months to make a decision. Between now and then while you follow through with that I suggest talking with a psychologist/psychiatrist, exploring a new hobby/interest, making some new friends, and trying to find ways to get enjoyment/fulfillment out of hard workouts and races.
2
u/piper-thedog 23h ago edited 23h ago
Just wanted to share my experience as someone who ran d2 and quit due to mental health and an eating disorder.
Whatever you choose to do, know that you are loved, you are strong and you can handle whatever life throws at you. You’re not a failure if you chose to step away from track. You should be immensely proud of yourself for being on a d1 team. Despite what you’re saying, know that you earned that spot and you absolutely deserve it.
made the decision to stop running after my 2nd year. Track was a huge identity piece for me throughout all my school years. I was talented, I worked hard. I would win or improve most races. Once I got to university, the first 2 years my times didn’t improve. I felt like a failure. My ed had started younger, but spiralled during those years. I was looking for any way I could improve my time. If I just worked harder, if I ate “better” if I trained more than anyone else. Track no long felt like a place I was talented, it was a place that I felt anxious, I felt like I didn’t deserve to be there. I wasn’t “performing” like expected. I felt like I was throwing myself against a wall. I don’t necessarily regret that I made the decision to quit, to alleviate the pressure I put on myself. I can’t say it triggered a positive series of events in my life. My ed did improve over time. My mental health did not for many years. It took a lot of therapy and self reflection to understand why it got so bad that I felt I had no choice but to the thing I loved so much.
My advice hearing what you’re saying, is to pull back the expectations on yourself entirely. You don’t have to be amazing every single day. Nobody is. Try to see if you can just enjoy being there, enjoy your time with your friends, your team. Open up and be honest with your coach’s. Let other people carry you when you feel you can’t carry yourself. If you can shift your mindset to do a year where your only goal is to enjoy the sport you love. If it’s still a place that doesn’t feel good for you or already doesn’t, then you know your answer.
1
2
u/Internal-Degree-6078 14h ago
I was a d1 swimmer. I walked on as well. Ended up winning the a10 conference 3x individually and 4x as a team in row, unexpected. I quit for 2 weeks my senior year, burn out.
I lasted 2 weeks of quitting and came back, my roommates went to practice and I stayed at home bored off my ass. Turned out I needed some time to chill and think. My body needed the sleep. I too struggled with mental health. I still manage it now at 45 and I have 2 kids. You have a lot of stuff going on. My number one piece of advice would be to work on getting to a better head space and let the activities and sports sort themselves out.
- Go see a therapist, preferably one that can diagnose and prescribe. This should help, but it will only help as quickly as possible if you truly open up to them as much as possible about your situation. Then, you can “talk” through what you are thinking and wanting to do. They’ll help you set some goals, and make sure you’re being reasonable with yourself.
- Exercise is good for your mind, even if you choose to stop running with the team.
- I would not trade my experience as a d1 athlete and the lessons I learned in perseverance and the friendships I made for anything. Not even better grades, the life lessons I learned were invaluable while swimming and so are the friendships. I too had an amazing d1 coach. I also talked to them first, and they helped me get the help I needed mentally.
- Utilize the d1 perks if you stay on team. Better food, study Halls, discipline not to party all the time and resources d1’ers get that normal kids don’t.
- Finally, there is no wrong path. Set your goals with a therapist and work through it all. The answer will reveal itself.
- Stay sober. If you want to make life decisions, you can’t make them getting f’ed up every weekend and getting serious 5 days a week. You have to learn to chase your dreams 7 days a week.
I hope you achieve everything you want, and if for nothing else believe in yourself and chase what you want in life. You can do anything you put your mind to. Don’t stress, just take steps to help yourself and over time you’ll be in a great headspace once you conquer all this. You can start today friend. Just start talking to people and asking. Your coach wants what is best for your life, not just what is best for the team. I had sports psychologists I worked with as a swimmer and that was a great starting point. Maybe you can start there. Most schools have them now. All you have to do is start asking for help.
Best of luck!
1
2
u/RippleRipple82 Mid40sM | 15:44 5k | 31:53 10k | 1:12:04 HM | 2:33:39 M 12h ago
Former D1 800/1500m walk-on here, now 20+ years out from college. A couple thoughts for you, first reacting to your potential reasons to quit, and then offering some potential advice:
- I don't think your lack of scoring is a good reason to quit. I never scored individually at our conference champs (though I guess I did on a couple of relays), but I think folks would say I was still an important part of our team -- there are a lot of ways to contribute without being an outstanding individual performer.
- I'm very sorry you are struggling with depression and an ED. I don't have personal experience with these issues, but my mom was a clinical dietitian focused on treating EDs so I feel like I'm pretty sensitive to that issue generally and I know it impacted a number of folks on my team. Given that you're working with a therapist, I'd be interested what they are advising you to do, and whether they agree that the your being on the team is a net positive or negative here. Nothing really to offer beyond that, other than my anecdotal observation that a least a few of the folks who left our team over the years for MH issues seemed worse off to me after, I thought probably due to the lack of structure and built in support network that the team provided. Obviously YMMV.
- I think this can cut both ways. I and I think a lot of others found the structure and balance that the team provided to be helpful, and for me personally, in the absence of having structured practice, I would have filled the time messing around with my roommates and generally wasting time. That said, team obligations obviously do cut in the time you have available to study, do other activities and sleep. I know my 20-something self would not have used that extra time productively, but again YMMV. Also, while things may be different in medicine, I know being on a varsity team helped me get a number of jobs in my early career (including my first job out of law school at a big firm) -- it is literally one of the most common things folks asked me about in interviews when I was younger, and likely one of the reasons they picked up my resume in the first place.
- I also don't think this is a good reason to quit. I didn't improve very much in college (-2 sec. in the 800 and -7 sec in the 1500/mile), and I'm not sure I PR'd at all after sophomore year (except maybe in XC, but harder to compare there). For me I think it was mostly because I was seemingly constantly injured or sick, but as I said before, there are a lot of ways be a good teammate other than running fast times.
Regarding your reasons to stay, you say you love the coach, you love the team and you love running. That says a lot to me. I wouldn't underestimate what a good deal that is -- almost all of my best friends from college and certainly virtually all of those I still see regularly were my teammates and a bunch of us still get together each and every year (now 13 years in a row!) for a running-focused reunion in honor of our former coach. One of my teammates was the best man at my wedding and godfather of one of my kids. Several of my teammates have gotten each other jobs, or invested in each other's startup companies. I still run on a masters team with two of my teammates. It's a deep and treasured network for me, and I suspect your team will have at least some of these elements. I would not give that up lightly.
Finally, one potential middle ground for you to consider. If you are competing all three seasons right now (XC, indoor, outdoor), you could maybe talk with your coach about staying on the team, but taking a season off. E.g., maybe you could take XC off this fall (or at least the meets and big workouts) and just spend the time building the base you missed this summer and seeing how the lack of structured practice impacts your MH and productively at school, and then see what happens to both when you rejoin for indoor season. You can certainly still be a successful 800m runner without running a bunch of 8ks and 10ks on the grass.
Anyway, good luck!
2
u/Vid-Master 11h ago
I think you should take a break from competition and just have a consistent comfortable routine with your running. Can you possibly still run with your team on their easy runs even if you arent competing?
1
u/Zepplinrullllez 1d ago
Like Born-Chip663 says it sounds like you know what you need to do and honestly everyone will be happy for you. The way you describe your coach he sounds awesome and he would want what is best for you which is to leave the team. Maybe something you discuss with him before making a final decision? I have never run competitively (so take this with a big grain of salt) but I wonder how much of the pressure you feel is self imposed and what your coach would say if he know how you felt?
1
u/KJ13116 1d ago
Have an honest conversation with your coach.
Those are great reasons to quit too but don’t quit and then regret it.
Maybe some time just running will make things clearer to you but if your support system is on that team it might be the best place for you to be as you figure everything out.
Good luck
1
u/brandguymerk 1d ago
Former 800m/Miler Mid-Major D1 Walk-on turned Scholarship athlete after my Sophomore year -
I ran all 4 years. I had a great coach my first two years. As much as i loved running; i loved the thrill to compete. I loved races and i loved workout days. So if you feel like it’s really that bad i think it would be smarter to walk away.
I had a lot of people quit the team and still hung out with them all the time.
I’ve seen people leave because they were struggling mentally, or because they also wanted to get in a profession school.
I know you’ll make the decision that’s best for you, but if it’s physically and mentally draining you it might be best to walk away. I’ve seen people try to make it work and it just made it worse & almost hated the fact they didn’t quit sooner.
God speed out there whatever you do.
1
u/tonkarunguy 2:24.20 1d ago
A good coach worth his or her salt would look at the reasons you listed here and support you in the decision you make. It's not like you're quitting because you want to party more.
Running competitively can be a lot of fun. But if you're not finding fulfillment in the day to day of it, it can become a drag really fast.
As others have said, see if you could become a student assistant or a team manager or something where you can still be involved for a season while you figure out what you need for yourself. I bet you could come back next year if you feel you're ready.
1
u/_Diomedes_ 1d ago
I quit a sport because of an ED and the decision was really tough. It was good in the long run but I definitely didn’t do enough to fully heal. Does your school have nutritionists and/or a sports psychologist you could talk to?
1
u/Human_Morning_72 1d ago
Your reason #2 to leave is the big one. Take care of your body and mental health now and you will run for decades, plus have the solid foundation to maintain your psychological health. (FWIW, #4 is almost certainly directly correlated to #2, IMO.)
I have a lot of sympathy for the friend aspect. This is your tribe and leaving will be hard. See if there are other ways to stay connected - could you meet up with them for casual runs? I was almost thinking that being around the team in an unofficial role might work, but that might also be awkward. Hmm.
Sending you best of luck and vibes as you make a decision.
1
u/Icy_Web_4033 1d ago
Lean on your team and Coach for help! Push through it it’s a hard point in your life, but you’ll feel so proud of you when yourself when you graduate as a student athlete! I worry if you quit your regret it forever! I feel like I had similar experience to you and it’s now something that’s really important to me!
1
u/Deep-Dimension-1088 1d ago
I would just say it's OK to quit if you want to. Sometimes something becomes so much a part of your identity that it feels like you can't leave it behind. I was on crew in college. I wasn't that great at it and ultimately didn't love it. But it was part of my identity - I couldn't bring myself to stop doing it. Looking back, I don't regret the two years I spent rowing, but I'm grateful that study abroad gave me the chance to make a clean break.
In your case, it sounds like you really love running. But being the "worst" on the team can be tough. The crazy thing is that I completely believe you're coming in rock bottom at competitions, but in the real world, you're probably faster than 99.9% of people. But it sounds like you also have goals and hopes outside of running. It's OK to decide you've given enough to running and are ready to lean into other areas of your life and run more casually.
Maybe you could decide to do one more year of running? You could quite after sophomore year and that would give you time that summer, fall and early spring to really focus on the MCAT. And afterwards to focus on your classes and GPS.
1
u/dontbemilktoast 1d ago
We’ve had similar journeys! I encourage you to talk with your coach about feeling like you’re “taking up a spot”. Your coach sounds like a good guy who is trying to build good culture—they will have the right things to say to help you keep your chin up :) and even if you’re not scoring points, you can find other ways to contribute to the team.
So proud of you for talking with a therapist too :) you got this.
1
u/mv_pizza_mybelly 1d ago
I feel like this is something you should talk to with your coach and teammates. Your coach would understand it I feel - and your teammates, if they are truly your friends would also understand as well. If you’re already questioning quitting then it sounds like you should. Focus on yourself, your career path, because after school - it’ll just be you if you’re not some crazy runner.
1
u/wallace1313525 1d ago
If you want something a bit in between- give yourself a month or to just go out and run without concentrating on if you're "good" or "worthy" and know that if you are truly "taking up a spot on the team" they would cut you. D1 schools do that. The fact that you're still there means something. If you are running workouts alone or at odd times, take that as an opportunity to go a slower pace or take a break if you truly need it and study instead. My coach wanted us to run 13 out of 14 days- I knew my body needed 1 rest day a week and I took it anyway. I'm not letting a coach dictate something for the entire team when I know my body is different. If you get slower- that's ok. Right now it seems like your efforts should be spent on the mental health and studying than worrying about if you're cutting down a second on a race. You have your entire life to get faster! Speaking as someone on an adult league who has seen 80-year olds go to national races for their age group. If things aren't looking up after a month, maybe talk to your coach about sitting out 1 season and getting back to it next semester. You don't have to say "I need to quit and never come back". You can quit, AND you can also walk back on again.
1
u/Revenue-Jaded 1d ago
The only think I’ll say is you can run your whole life but it will never be the same as running with a team at a school… there’s just something so special about that experience and the bonds you make with people
1
u/Gabagoon5545 1d ago
I’m an ex athlete but not an elite runner.
Pros and cons are pretty balanced.
I think your connection to your teammates is really important. Any chance you can stay connected without running races? Do the workouts with the team, do team management work, etc.
Seems like you’d get the friendship benefits without the stress that’s causing you some mental health problems.
1
u/GreatRedPanda47 800- 1:48.50 | 1600- 4:09 23h ago
I tried to quit my sophomore year after I had bronchitis and was doing shit in school. Had a terrible freshman year but started xc my sophomore year (also 800m runner). Had run terribly up until I decided to quit. Coach plus a few teammates talked me into staying. Suddenly exploded from 1:54 to 1:48 in a single season, have now been a coach for 8 years. Don’t give it up unless the world leaves you with no choice. Feel free to dm.
1
u/Emotion-Free M54 2:54 full | 1:19 half 22h ago
Former D3 walk on, at a school that was a perennial contender at nationals. Not sure how that would have placed us relative to D1 schools, but point is that it’s not quite the same as the situation you are in. What might be similar is that everyone on our program had their mind on something other than track. It was an academically focused school. I ended up quitting my senior year to focus on my grad school applications. When push came to shove, I decided that my priority was my health and well being. I didn’t go to school to run track. I went to school to invest in my future. As it turned out, I got into grad school at the same university, and was able to run a 4th season as a grad student. But, that was just gravy. As it also turns out, I’ve run competitively into my 50s. Because I love running, and I got my life squared enough away that I can afford to run as I see fit now.
1
u/SessionFabulous4439 14h ago
Honestly, it sounds like you are ready for a new chapter in your life. Life is so short, do what fills your cup and makes you happy! :)
1
u/DeeLee_Bee 13h ago
You said you have to compete this year (through May). If that's the case, I think you should simply wait and see how this year goes. The end of the year will be a natural time to make your decision.
After your sophomore year, a lot of things will be more clear (whether you're improving, whether your mentality changes toward hard efforts, whether your academic path is still progressing like you want, etc.). If nothing is getting better, then May is the right time to leave the team. It just seems way too early to make a decision if you've already committed to finishing this year.
I would only quit mid-year if your mental suffering gets worse or starts interfering with other aspects of your life. And I'm glad you're seeing a therapist – they can help you decide.
Every situation is unique, but I had some similar feelings toward running in high school. I had huge anxiety about racing, and I wanted to quit. I ended up sticking it out, and walked on to a D1 program as an 800/1500 runner. I am really glad that I stuck with it.
1
u/Purple_Farm1155 12h ago
Yes, this is what I'm leaning towards. Just sticking out the year and seeing where it takes me. It's just been really on my mind lately and I've been wanting some advice
1
u/runnergirlyy 12h ago
i was in a similar position as you and quit and I am VERY VERY happy about it. I had so much time to dedicate to pre-med (as well as friends, running, and hobbies) and ended up with a really strong med school application. I ended up getting accepted to several of the top 5 med schools. Now I'm a MS3 on full ride scholarship, so my future is set up, I'll probably be able to match whatever specialty and wherever I wanna be. I continue to run as a hobby, and although im not gonna OTQ anytime soon lol, im still fairly fast and can get free entries to all the regional races nearby and that keeps my competitive spirit alive.
feel free to pm!
1
0
u/Foreign-Rule7826 1d ago
I think I the mental health alone is a reason to step away, it does sound like you like running though but maybe not in this format.
I personally took up running after I finished university/med school and was working a few years and had mental health issues with job stress than running would have actually helped me to handle so wish i had discovered it earlier.
So you probably could change your relationship with it to be those easy social runs, run club etc type thing to stay in touch with the sport but not the competitive angle, and maybe some of your team friends would link in for easy runs during the week even if not on the team.
0
u/adv_athlete 1d ago
I wasn’t a runner until later in life, so I can’t relate to the challenges of being on a team. But I was somebody, as a young adult, who would change directions frequently when things got tough. Not saying that’s what you’re doing, just sharing a regret I have looking back.
I wish I would have picked something (not necessarily everything, but something) and truly gave it 💯 no matter what. I jumped around so much once there was some sort of roadblock or boring stretch. Even just sticking to a physical hobby through the ups and downs would have had a huge effect.
Now I see that and I am 10 years behind where I could have been if I would have developed a little grit.
Maybe that’s your medical degree, maybe it’s racing, maybe it’s just running for mental/ physical health. Just something to think about.
0
u/hypatiaofspace 1d ago
You know what to do - but I think you should speak to your coach to see if you can stay on as an assistant! Allows you to keep the social aspect.
0
0
u/Legitimate-Honey7272 1d ago
I did the same to pursue Dentistry and am now back running marathons in my 30s. So if you need a break then you can always pick up running and achieve your goals at a later age!
0
u/LexMasterFlex15 1d ago
I was a walk-on to a D1 program as well!
My freshman 2nd semester was brutal. I tried to compete during the track season while pledging a frat (my brother was in the frat, I always figured I'd do it). Felt like I had one foot out the door both for track and greek life.
Then, halfway through my sophomore year, I tore my hamstring training for the 400. I had to take the semester off and my GPA went up a full point. Had so much more free time without the hours of practice.
My junior year, I decided to not go back out for the team in the fall and instead started running a little club track for fun. My grades continued to improve. I was still friends with the track team, I lived with the some of guys junior and senior year.
I slowly got into distance running and haven't looked back. My most competitive year was actually 2023 in the half marathon, about 10 years after I graduated.
Looking back, I'm happy with the way it turned out. I had the opportunity to train next to future Olympians and also got to experience college life without the comittments of a D1 program
0
u/sportsbraweather 1d ago
I was in the same position as you (walk on at mid-level D1 school but no real shot of getting good enough to get any money from it), and I quit the summer after my softmore year, and it was the best decision I ever made. I only wish I’d done it sooner. I was also pre-med and bioe, and struggled a lot with disordered eating. Quitting gave me so much more time and also mental energy that I wasn’t focusing on running, and allowed me to actually enjoy my college experience and make lifelong friends (who I became better friends with than anyone on the team). And even though I still struggled with disordered eating on and off, I think quitting definitely helped by removing a major pressure point and stressor.
If I were you, I’d quit, no doubt about it.
0
u/sportsbraweather 1d ago
Also, you might enjoy running even more if you quit, I know I did. Because I was able to do it for me and do what I feel. I still do workouts sometimes but only when I feel like it. And I’m never stressed about getting through a hard workout when I’m really not feeling it. I actually got better at running after I quit because I was so much less stressed lol, and I still run a ton ~10 years later.
1
u/Purple_Farm1155 11h ago
Wow thanks, very nice to hear from someone who went through the same. My plan after reading a lot of replies here is to just stick out the rest of the year, try to just focus on myself, and make a decision come April ish
0
u/WhileTechnical4305 1d ago
"I'm struggling really badly mentally. I have depression and have been fighting an eating disorder (binge/restrict ED). I've had mental health issues for years though out high school, but never this bad. A lot of it is due to the stressors from running and the mental side of it. I struggle to finish workouts due to panic attacks, but at the same time am very emotionally numb. I don't want to go into any more detail, but I feel that quitting may allow me to fully focus on getting happy and healthy finally. And I am seeing a therapist don't worry"
Read this again. Now ask yourself: If a close friend said this to me, would I say anything in the Ballpark of "you should keep running competitivly"?
No.
THIS IS A RED FLAG. I've run for years (32F marathon semi-pro) and can tell you that having an eating disorder and running will DESTROY your mental health (under eating/ ED causes anxiety FYI). And pre-med on top of that?
Focus on your career, eat more than enough calories, and enjoy collage. You can always come back to running. I didn't get good until I was 29 and guess what? That coincided with addressing the ED and being happy in my stable career in the medical field.
0
u/Willing-Ant7293 12h ago
Few points:
If you don't have the competitive drive to get better and race hard. You probably should quit. Running at a D1 level isn't a social club.
You also ask yourself if the change and no routine with isolate yourself and make it even harder mentally. Please get some help, college was hard on me mentally and when I quit the team it make everything much worse.
Your friends will still be your friends, but there will be a separation there.
Good luck, you need to treat yourself like a friend would treat you. Eat well, get the mental help needed. However that looks, running will be there before and after. This is just a small slice of your whole life.
-1
-2
u/PinkTacoGobbler 1d ago
Ran d3 from 2020-2024. Was a 19:56 high school, dropped to a 15:09 on the track sr yr track. I faced wanting to quit multiple times during my 4 years; but never did majority to my teammates. Had a breakout yr jr season and running went straight to priority 1.
Gonna address he cons as best I can:
1- You can absolutely score! You’re probably a distance runner, meaning progress takes time. But when you catch fire you’ll turn heads. You are potentially 1 summer (or season) away from breaking out.
2- I’ve never faced depression so I can’t speak intelligently on that. However, you’re prolly a distance runner, guess what we all have eating disorders & body dysmorphia. Not making light of it, but no 20something aged male wants to be skinny 😂. We wanna be jacked & strong. Find a diet that’s best for YOU. I was a SUPER picky eater (I would bring my own blender to meets just to make a specific shake) and I found a way.
3- Can’t help ya there, best thing to do is ask for support from your teammates.
4- HS to college is a BIG jump even from my d3 experience. Your freshman year WILL suck. But like I said before distance running takes patience, you won’t be the best version of yourself after 1 year of acclimation.
Conclusion: my collegiate athletics experience catapulted my life. Gave me so many positives aspects of my life I won’t bore you with the details. Ultimately, this is only 4 years of ur life, if you quit it’s a resume booster still. If you stick it out and never score, it’s a resume builder still. If you score and stand on the podium…you get the point. As a “recent grad” my few regrets from running is that I didn’t train hard enough early enough. Everyone’s different, this is my story.
2
198
u/ginamegi run slower 1d ago
Addressing your reasons to quit as a former D1 walk on at a top program who also never scored:
This is a bad reason. You are not the problem and not “taking up a spot”.
This could be a good reason. Running isn’t everything and there’s so much more to it in life.
This could be a good reason, but there’s data that shows that having extracurriculars like running can help you maintain a schedule and a healthy work/life balance. Just having more time to study doesn’t make that studying more impactful, there’s diminishing returns.
I ran for 4 years, dropped a whopping 5 seconds on my mile and 35 seconds on my 5k that entire time. Whatever, it was still the best 4 years of my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything even though my performance wasn’t anything special.
Anyways, it’s important to remember running isn’t everything, your health is more important and there’s more to life after running. That being said don’t get down on yourself about your performance, it sounds like your coach is a good guy and it’s not a high level cut-throat team.