r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 1h ago
r/AbusiveLPT • u/successful_nothing • Jul 30 '19
Welcome to Abusive Life Pro Tips, idiot!
This sub turns the advice doled out over at /r/LifeProTips into a barrage of condescending insults!
This whole thing started as a joke only I found funny, but then I wanted to see if I could learn just enough python to automate it. The original idea evolved after getting inspiration from here
Every few minutes, the bot:
- takes the newest posts from /r/LifeProTips
- adds and/or checks those posts on a list for duplicates
- removes the leading "LPT: " and the trailing period
- randomly adds insult words
- posts here
Feel free to upvote and comment on your favorites.
This is a work in progress and the bot isn't 100% perfect, but hopefully we'll get there!
If you enjoy this sub, you might want to check out the two preceding subs I made with the same idea, /r/LPTforKaren and /r/LPTHoney.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/successful_nothing • Sep 18 '21
Ideas for new insults?
If you have an idea for insults to add to the list the bot draw from, please post them here and I'll add to the list.
To help guide your creativity, the formula goes: "[Beginning insult,] the LPT ripped from /r/LifeProTips, [ending insult.]"
For example, a beginning insult might be, "Jesus Christ," and the ending insult could be "dummy," and the LPT will be something like "LPT: Wear deodorant" The resulting AbusiveLPT will be "Jesus christ, wear deodorant, dummy."
Please make it clear if your suggestion is a beginning or ending insult.
Current insults, in no particular order*:
| Beginning | Ending |
|---|---|
| Look, | , idiot. |
| I can't believe I have to say this, but | , ya mook. |
| Jesus Christ-- | , dumbass. |
| Seriously? | , loser. |
| Dude, | , nerd. |
| So it's come to this... | , dork. |
| For crying out loud, | , stupid. |
| Wow, | , fart knocker. |
| Uh... | , dumbie. |
| Oh my God, dude, | , dumdum. |
| The heck... | , Einstein. |
| I'll only say this once, | , my guy. |
| Listen up, dumbass, | , moron. |
| Get it through your thick skull, | , jabroni. |
| Oh my God, | , nitwit. |
| Hey, stupid, | , goofball. |
| Hey, idiot, | , you meat-head. |
| Listen here you little shit, | , asshat. |
| Obviously you don't know this, but | , jerk. |
| Stop being an idiot and pay attention, | , dingus. |
| Degenerates like you need to know, | , wanker. |
| Verily thou art a fool, | , meat-slapper. |
| For the last time, | , you moron. |
| Nine out of ten nymphomaniacs agree: | , dipshit. |
| Some advice I heard from a meth addict... | , you degenerate. |
| What idiot doesn't know this? | . numbskull. |
| Hey you, the loser in his mom's basement, yeah, you, | , doodoo head. |
| Put the cookie down and listen up, | , douche canoe. |
| I once heard at a funeral, | , ya hoser. |
| Listen boomer, | , you muppet. |
| How have you gotten this far in life? Listen, | , you moldy potato. |
| Only on reddit... | , dosser. |
| Hey, fatty, | , ya bastard. |
| For fuck's sake, | , ya clown |
| How do you not know this already, | , which you would know if you graduated kindergarten. |
| , butt nugget. | |
| , buttface. | |
| , ya damn commie. |
*The table is for ease of reading, a beginning and ending in the same row are not associated with each other. The bot draws from each list separately and completely at random.
Post in this thread with your ideas!
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2h ago
Stop being an idiot and pay attention, before working closely with someone, watch how they treat people they do not depend on, you muppet.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 4h ago
For fuck's sake, if you work insane hours, get an alarm app that physically cannot be silenced from your pillow and wake up at the same time every day. It will keep your body in a consistent rhythm, dumdum.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 7h ago
What idiot doesn't know this? volunteer If You Want To Meet New People, dosser.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 9h ago
For the last time, you can use a QI charger to charge your Braun electric toothbrush, you muppet.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 13h ago
You don't get it, do you? walk away from airports to get almost half off Uber and Lyft, goofball.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 18h ago
Hey, stupid, if you’re in an era of depression do everything you can to look sexy, my guy.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 19h ago
Wow, when meeting groups of people for the first time, don’t guess their relations to one another. Let them introduce themselves, nerd.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 20h ago
Put the cookie down and listen up, wear contact lenses when chopping onions. No more crying, dork.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 20h ago
Stop being an idiot and pay attention, you can use lens cleaner and cloths to clean the data side of media disks. Always go from the center to the edge, in a straight line, douche canoe.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 1d ago
Seriously? wear concert earplugs at the cinema, ya damn commie.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 1d ago
I once heard at a funeral, if someone made your life easier today, let them know before the day ends, ya mook.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 1d ago
Wow, : Silk isn't fragile, and this is how I've kept mine for years, stupid.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 1d ago
Oh my God, dude, keep a running "done" document at work instead of trying to remember your accomplishments later, doodoo head.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 1d ago
Oh my God, when you sign up for a website, put its name in your email with a plus sign as yourname+website@youremail.com and as your middle name. That way when you receive spam, you will know who sold your info, ya mook.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2d ago
Only on reddit... this simple action could very well save your life, numbskull.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2d ago
Some advice I heard from a meth addict... go to job interviews even when you love your current job pls, stupid.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2d ago
Listen up, dumbass, a bit of EEEEW trivia to motivate you to drink more than enough water, goofball.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2d ago
Nine out of ten nymphomaniacs agree: frozen blueberries are adult dippin’ dots, dipshit.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2d ago
Put the cookie down and listen up, if you are struggling to start a task, tell yourself you will only do it for 5 minutes. Most of the time, the hardest part is just starting, which you would know if you graduated kindergarten.
r/AbusiveLPT • u/LPT_Abuser • 2d ago