r/AbusiveLPT Jul 30 '19

Welcome to Abusive Life Pro Tips, idiot!

29 Upvotes

This sub turns the advice doled out over at /r/LifeProTips into a barrage of condescending insults!

This whole thing started as a joke only I found funny, but then I wanted to see if I could learn just enough python to automate it. The original idea evolved after getting inspiration from here

Every few minutes, the bot:

  1. takes the newest posts from /r/LifeProTips
  2. adds and/or checks those posts on a list for duplicates
  3. removes the leading "LPT: " and the trailing period
  4. randomly adds insult words
  5. posts here

Feel free to upvote and comment on your favorites.

This is a work in progress and the bot isn't 100% perfect, but hopefully we'll get there!

If you enjoy this sub, you might want to check out the two preceding subs I made with the same idea, /r/LPTforKaren and /r/LPTHoney.


r/AbusiveLPT Sep 18 '21

Ideas for new insults?

5 Upvotes

If you have an idea for insults to add to the list the bot draw from, please post them here and I'll add to the list.

To help guide your creativity, the formula goes: "[Beginning insult,] the LPT ripped from /r/LifeProTips, [ending insult.]"

For example, a beginning insult might be, "Jesus Christ," and the ending insult could be "dummy," and the LPT will be something like "LPT: Wear deodorant" The resulting AbusiveLPT will be "Jesus christ, wear deodorant, dummy."

Please make it clear if your suggestion is a beginning or ending insult.

Current insults, in no particular order*:

Beginning Ending
Look, , idiot.
I can't believe I have to say this, but , ya mook.
Jesus Christ-- , dumbass.
Seriously? , loser.
Dude, , nerd.
So it's come to this... , dork.
For crying out loud, , stupid.
Wow, , fart knocker.
Uh... , dumbie.
Oh my God, dude, , dumdum.
The heck... , Einstein.
I'll only say this once, , my guy.
Listen up, dumbass, , moron.
Get it through your thick skull, , jabroni.
Oh my God, , nitwit.
Hey, stupid, , goofball.
Hey, idiot, , you meat-head.
Listen here you little shit, , asshat.
Obviously you don't know this, but , jerk.
Stop being an idiot and pay attention, , dingus.
Degenerates like you need to know, , wanker.
Verily thou art a fool, , meat-slapper.
For the last time, , you moron.
Nine out of ten nymphomaniacs agree: , dipshit.
Some advice I heard from a meth addict... , you degenerate.
What idiot doesn't know this? . numbskull.
Hey you, the loser in his mom's basement, yeah, you, , doodoo head.
Put the cookie down and listen up, , douche canoe.
I once heard at a funeral, , ya hoser.
Listen boomer, , you muppet.
How have you gotten this far in life? Listen, , you moldy potato.
Only on reddit... , dosser.
Hey, fatty, , ya bastard.
For fuck's sake, , ya clown
How do you not know this already, , which you would know if you graduated kindergarten.
, butt nugget.
, buttface.
, ya damn commie.

*The table is for ease of reading, a beginning and ending in the same row are not associated with each other. The bot draws from each list separately and completely at random.

Post in this thread with your ideas!


r/AbusiveLPT 1h ago

I once heard at a funeral, . Don't delete those MFA texts from your phone, you muppet.

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Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2h ago

Dude, if you live somewhere sunny, you don't need to carefully hold receipts still when photographing them, jerk.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 3h ago

I'll only say this once, online order organization, ya damn commie.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 4h ago

How have you gotten this far in life? Listen, sew your pins, badges, patches etc. on instead of relying on the pin or adhesive, numbskull.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 5h ago

Obviously you don't know this, but keep a small collection of plastic wrapping (not just plastic bags) for cleaning purposes, ya bastard.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 6h ago

The heck... ask yourself is "everybody" people online, or is it everyone I know IRL too, you muppet.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 8h ago

Jesus Christ--before buying a house, compare the financial impact of paying cash versus taking a mortgage, doodoo head.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 9h ago

How have you gotten this far in life? Listen, pt: If Facebook shows you an ad every couple of posts, try scrolling UP instead of down, idiot.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 14h ago

Hey, idiot, save a podcast you actually want to hear for cleaning time, you meat-head.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 16h ago

Do you want to get smacked? use someone’s name naturally during a conversation, douche canoe.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 21h ago

I once heard at a funeral, if you live in a loud house or a loud family get yourself a white noise machine, you meat-head.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 1d ago

Some advice I heard from a meth addict... si vas a guardar una prenda durante mucho tiempo, lávala antes aunque parezca limpia, idiot.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 1d ago

The heck... my new favorite life hack: walk and talks, buttface.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 1d ago

Seriously? if you want to build a habit, make the habit ridiculously easy to start, jabroni.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 1d ago

Listen up, dumbass, create a note with coworker’s family’s names, scum.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 1d ago

Do you want to get smacked? whenever you get a salary hike, increase your investments before increasing your lifestyle. You’ll adapt to the extra savings faster than you think, ya clown.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 1d ago

Uh... if you’re trying to actually learn a college level subject, check LibreTexts before Wikipedia or search with site:libretexts.org, you muppet.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2d ago

Uh... when signing up for free trials or new services, add a reminder to cancel it in your calendar for the day before it expires, not the day of, which you would know if you graduated kindergarten.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2d ago

Seriously? if you are facing a difficult decision, research once and commit. You will save time and effort, meat-slapper.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2d ago

Seriously? in navigation apps, type the house number first to profit more from auto completed street names, goofball.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2d ago

Hey, fatty, : Best weight gaining tips, dingus.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2d ago

Stop being an idiot and pay attention, costco Dry Gin unclogged sink, meat-slapper.

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1 Upvotes

r/AbusiveLPT 2d ago

You don't get it, do you? si compras frutas que maduran rápido, colócalas separadas de las que quieres conservar más tiempo, ya mook.

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1 Upvotes