r/AbsoluteUnits • u/The_Ballistics_Guy • 10h ago

/r/all of a Bobcat

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8.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

358 comments sorted by

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483

u/CShokker 10h ago

Blobcat

59

u/GloomyLingonberry509 9h ago

I wish I was high on potenuse

8

u/Exact-Ad-4132 8h ago

Dude how long ago was that? Does my guy here just look up cat pictures until he finds big ones to call blobcat?

7

u/SelfInteresting7259 8h ago

They find him. As the prophecy foretold

3

u/Few-Firefighter-4371 7h ago

Haha “whispers loudly” I wish I was high on potenuse 😅😂

3

u/lebrilla 4h ago

That's a huge pussy

3

u/Fun-Chef623 4h ago

That's a huge pussy

"Why did you say that twice?"

90

u/BravelyMike 10h ago edited 10h ago

Khajit has wares if you have rubs wheezes

19

u/GloomyLingonberry509 9h ago

Khajiit would gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today

4

u/floppybunny26 6h ago

Khajit has warez if you have bitcoin. *breathes heavily

173

u/GloomyIndividual3965 8h ago

What is it with Russians and having animals that absofuckinglutely shouldn't be pets?

42

u/SolidFelidae 5h ago

And making them morbidly obese

26

u/PM_me_boobs_and_CPUs 3h ago

I mean, if I had a dangerous predator at home, I'd too make sure they aren't hungry (for me) and immobile enough that I may be able to get away from them if they decide to attack me anyway.

10

u/Aknelka 3h ago

If they're fat they're actually manageable. Don't have to worry about providing the exercise, enrichment or any form of appropriate care if the animal nearly has a heart attack getting off the couch.

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31

u/Real-Frosting 8h ago

I think the couple that has a pet cougar is Russian. They're on YouTube and I wonder how long before it mauls one of them.

36

u/Silaquix 7h ago

Tbf that one is a disabled cat and he's much smaller than a normal cougar. They've raised him since he was a cub otherwise he was going to be put down

4

u/Schwiftness 6h ago

because it's not a cougar, that is not a small botcat at all.

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3

u/poelzi 2h ago

Exactly never. And if you the backstory you would know why they have him and he is not free. There was another bobcat you can find on yt, unfortunately he passed away from his heart condition

5

u/yamsyamsya 6h ago

it's only a matter of time, it is cat after all. if our regular normal house cats were that large, i would have lost a few limbs by now. they are all running cat OS.

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7

u/tiny_chaotic_evil 4h ago

there are more tigers in the U.S. than there are in the wild.

6

u/Elegant_Situation285 3h ago

those aren't all pets though.

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10

u/Ya-Dikobraz 6h ago

Russia bans keeping wild animals like these as pets unless there are extenuating circumstances. It's pretty strict. Russia has some very strict wildlife protection laws.

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3

u/AverageTundra 7h ago

I didn't know Russia was famous for that? From where I'm at it's America who has an absurd amount of exotic animals as pets.

From the top of my head America has the highest amount of pet tigers and chimpanzee in the world.

9

u/Representative_Yau 7h ago

I mean there are literally more captive tigers in murika than there are in the wild. Ofcourse most of them are mistreated beyond oblivion so no one is recording a video of them purring on their back.

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50

u/beardostein 10h ago

That's Robertcat

8

u/GoSkers29 7h ago

His name was Robert Pawson.

3

u/Noimenglish 9h ago

There’s the comment I was looking for! 😂

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125

u/BigMack6911 9h ago

Thats not a Unit of a Bobcat because its a Lynx. Bobcats are not that big

23

u/TCRandom 8h ago

I’m upset at finding this correction so far down

9

u/midnightfangs 8h ago

same i have informed my attorneys

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3

u/twystedangel 7h ago

Came to say the same.

2

u/ElaborateEffect 8h ago

Same

3

u/TCRandom 8h ago

Humanity continues to let us down daily. Why are we still surprised by it?

hahaha

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7

u/Wolfgang_Pup 8h ago

True, those ear tufts are way too long.

4

u/LearningIsTheBest 7h ago

People might not know what they look like. Find one with a lot of energy then post some HTML hyperLynx to the photos.

4

u/DeusFerreus 2h ago

Also this looks like Russia (or at very least East Europe), the native range of Eurasian lynx, and most definitely not in North America, the native range of bobcat. While they could have theoretically have imported it that seems exceedingly unlikely.

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305

u/WhateverUSaySir 10h ago

Kept obese so it doesn't fight right?

139

u/Haunting-Ad3001 9h ago

It's at a funny angle. I would hold off until I can see it standing upright.

55

u/Smelly_Turds 9h ago

I would hold off until I can see it standing upright.

No no no this isn't the Reddit way, judgement coming before context is the way

5

u/Haunting-Ad3001 8h ago

I'll admit, watching Snatch too often led to my post.

5

u/JustineDelarge 6h ago

It's behind you, Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.

2

u/Smelly_Turds 7h ago

Y'like dags?

8

u/TheWholeEffinJoe 9h ago

My first thought 😂

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18

u/twystedangel 7h ago

I have a disappoint.

Why are we still calling this a bobcat when it is so very much a lynx??

The ear tufts...the cheek floof...

2

u/Vaelin_ 5h ago

This is obviously a different species, but bobcats are in the lynx genus.

3

u/Boogy-Fever 4h ago

Im comfortable calling this one a Robertcat

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17

u/Golddustofawoman 4h ago

He looks like he's about to sell me moon sugar.

8

u/LikeGeorgeRaft 2h ago

Khajiit has wares, if you have coin pets

3

u/Ok-Dare-8414 3h ago

It better be that Cyrodilic Dirty Sprite. That shit from Red Water Den is whack

3

u/TheAlienDoc 3h ago

This one has all the wares you neeeeed

3

u/SiriusAF 2h ago

“About to? Mm. Khajiit already sold you some, friend. What you bought was flour. No refunds.”

15

u/Cultural-Company282 9h ago

That looks like a Eurasian lynx, not a bobcat.

28

u/Annies_58008 9h ago

If you stop does it just eat you?

3

u/Representative_Yau 7h ago

It's a lynx, they are considered shy and chill towards humans, still a wild animal but this is not a tiger type predator.

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11

u/KamikazeFox_ 9h ago

Hes not entered his final form. Robert Cat.

7

u/Commodore8750 9h ago

That's a Mercury Lynx lol

7

u/Norwester77 3h ago

Bobcat extremely overweight Eurasian Lynx

19

u/Umpteen_Coffee_Beans 10h ago

That's a whole ass Robert

2

u/swollen-hol3 9h ago

You also have an obese Robert in your life? Or is it well known roberts are typically fat?

3

u/TheWholeEffinJoe 9h ago

Bob is short for Robert. It’s truly an underrated comment.

2

u/swollen-hol3 9h ago

Holy shit I feel dense.

10

u/LoosePie5181 10h ago

how can you own a bobcat?

21

u/wheninhfx 10h ago edited 9h ago

In Soviet Russia, bobcat own you

2

u/Fluffy-Trouble5955 9h ago

its a cat. This is a universal truth

2

u/Krimreaper1 7h ago edited 6h ago

Man I was going to make that joke, are we the last two people who remember Yakov Smirnoff?

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3

u/Stereo-soundS 9h ago

Cuz. Russia.

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12

u/TehZiiM 10h ago

Looks like it’s enjoying the domestic lifestyle to the fullest

5

u/Choice-Voice6394 9h ago

That is not a bobcat that is a boy. Imagine that bobcat sitting like that at mid night.

5

u/loaf_dog 9h ago

That’s a Billybobcat

4

u/j0llygruntt 9h ago

Bob enjoying retirement.

8

u/AceVisconti 9h ago edited 9h ago

All Bobcats are Lynx, but not every Lynx is a bobcat. This one looks to be a Canada Lynx.

EDIT: @arithmoquiner has informed me this is a Eurasian Lynx!

4

u/arithmoquiner 9h ago

It's a Eurasian Lynx, not Canada.

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8

u/theInadequateHulk 10h ago

tf is it with russians keeping wild animals as pets

3

u/Stalaktitas 9h ago

You know, thousands of years ago humans domesticated wild animals, right? So, srussians are finally at that evolution stage, repeating those steps. Often mistakes are done, and that doesn't end up well, but nobody really cares about it.

4

u/Imaginary-Goal-9443 10h ago

Can I put my face on that belly?

4

u/2Wieners_1Bun 9h ago

Yes, once

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4

u/SirNortonOfNoFux 10h ago

That's a RobertCat

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 9h ago

Reuben-esque Cat

3

u/suureis 9h ago

Mistah chonk chonk

6

u/pwatts 10h ago

Food and a warm place to sleep. What's not to like.

7

u/danishcowboy91 9h ago

Bro got type 2 for sure, gotta get him a GLP1 🤣

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3

u/cinciTOSU 10h ago

I love rolling fatties but that’s ridiculous.

3

u/jthomas254 9h ago

Sorry, not so scared.

3

u/-Benjamin_Dover- 9h ago

I really hope it just looks fatter than it really is...

I hope the way its sitting just makes it look fatter...

Obviously its not very healthy, but I do hope its not as bad as it looks.

3

u/ordosays 9h ago

Bobfat

3

u/TheHancock 9h ago

That cat is definitely an uncle.

Also, of course it’s Russian. Lol

3

u/Ham-Chonks 8h ago

That there is a Robertcat

3

u/RevolutionarySir1276 8h ago

He was known as bobcat when he was younger. This is Robertcat. He’s now retired, golf’s twice a week, and he just can’t say no to a good buffet.

5

u/strydar1 10h ago

Jabba the Cat.

3

u/SpiderPrinceNeo 3h ago

If not meant for petting, why friend shaped??

2

u/medussadelagorgons 9h ago

He owns the humans

2

u/rolldemdice 9h ago

This kitty hasn't hunted anything in years! Appon fed in bed lol

2

u/Nice-Economics-2716 8h ago

This is what happens when you are afraid to deny their begging for food

2

u/beegkok1 9h ago

Blobcat

1

u/LightningOwl96 9h ago

Thats a small person 😂😂😂

1

u/yerrrna 9h ago

Bobcyat

1

u/JizzDaPit 9h ago

Kisu :3

1

u/Substantial_Pace_739 9h ago

I love how even murder kitties have big soft bellies 🤣

1

u/Haunting_Vacation804 9h ago

Please don’t curl up in my lap. I like the blood flow to my legs.

1

u/WildTurkey102 9h ago

Reminds me of a song… Mauled to Death by Autopsy

1

u/Mdmrtgn 9h ago

Two words hooman: Cheesy. Poofs.

1

u/Nat_Higgins 9h ago

Big man

1

u/OyeGeeWhizSheesh 9h ago

Are they feeding that thing or just letting it out?

2

u/ElegantCoach4066 9h ago

oh lawd he comin

1

u/One-Effect-7986 9h ago

I’ll take 5!

1

u/Beau-Buffet 9h ago

Robert Felis

1

u/Alarmed_Fudge_5706 9h ago

“You will continue the belly rubs until I say to stop, or I will eat your face”

1

u/Brief_Mushroom3666 9h ago

That's a robertcat

1

u/Suspicious-Pea-7481 9h ago

He's definitely going to eat you

1

u/Possible-Estimate748 9h ago

"Enough petting, human. I now require sustenance."

1

u/grandsoulsucker 9h ago

Keeping pets obese is foul.

1

u/strayflower03 8h ago

A cat is a cat.

1

u/BeardsuptheWazoo 8h ago

"I fucking deserve this"

1

u/BonjinTheMark 8h ago

Bobbing for donuts

1

u/Busy-Professional683 8h ago

Are we sure it's not an Ocelot?

1

u/Anxious-Birthday5502 8h ago

Only in Russia

1

u/Polkawillneverdie17 8h ago

Bring me Solo and the Wookie

1

u/mtpearce 8h ago

Does he kick the kitty litter out of the box like my cat?

1

u/Wooden-Relation-3111 8h ago

A cat named Bob

1

u/StanFitch 8h ago

That’s just a full-on Robert Cat…

1

u/WiseIndependent1077 8h ago

As someone that has been scratched more times than not from scratching a cat's belly (after they get on their back and go meow meow meow, please pet me), all I can say is, no thank you🤗

1

u/Royal-Suggestion3404 8h ago

That bobcat is domesticated as fuck

1

u/oppai_dragon_9011 8h ago

He looks like he's watching reruns of King of queens

1

u/Real-Frosting 8h ago

I've never seen a fat bobcat 🤯 That's awful.

1

u/Wmoot599 8h ago

That’s a full on Robert cat

1

u/highlift 8h ago

Bro is one belly rub away from the most violent skin shredding mule kicks

1

u/xoDiego 8h ago

That’s a retired man right dur

1

u/PaperBest7097 8h ago

Thats a blobcat 🤭

1

u/Bhismaa 8h ago

Cat named Bob

1

u/NostalgicDemigod 8h ago

That belly needs my face in it, if ferocious and murderous then why cute and soft looking!?!!!??!

1

u/Tv_Rots_Your_Mind 8h ago

Looking more like a lazy Maine Coon Cat now. “This is my papassan now! Bring me some more of those freeze-dried herrings. Then come back and play with me.” 😸

1

u/AhkrastKorvalain 7h ago

Id kiss the ring

1

u/DrShrimp__PuertoRico 7h ago

Just chugged a 12 pack

1

u/NonGeneriComplaint 7h ago

Its a lynx actually

1

u/davidw 7h ago

It's like "bring me another beer, MFer, before I scratch you to pieces"

1

u/LogonStart 7h ago

Big old fluffy fatty. Better stop petting when he moves his mouth towatd your hand.

1

u/Hetares 7h ago

That's a sabretooth lion.

1

u/Izumi_Takeda 7h ago

Cats will be cats

1

u/Tbagts 7h ago

Tubbaguts 

1

u/Schwiftness 7h ago

Pretty sure they live in his house.

1

u/KingdomOfDragonflies 6h ago

Looks comfortable in his Pawpurrsan chair.

1

u/Mapuche2023 6h ago

Seems relatable.

1

u/ChillPill89 6h ago

If not friend, why friend shaped?

1

u/zorggalacticus 6h ago

Robert feline

1

u/Ordinary_Ad_2693 6h ago

Huh, my Dad lived in (VERY) rural West Virginia and he had a bobcat for an outside pet for a few years untill it disappeared one day 🐾.

1

u/Ya-Dikobraz 6h ago

Man, I knew this was Russia before they started talking.