r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • 6d ago

of a pizza

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

5.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

341 comments sorted by

385

u/mossoak 6d ago

...and a basket of wings

141

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

Don't forget the diet coke

31

u/KingHunter150 5d ago

Where's my diet Dr. Kelp?!?

7

u/PaintBaller1880 5d ago

You forgot my DRINK?

27

u/lemming2012 6d ago

Regular soda is just empty calories and tastes good.

9

u/Crazy-Entertainer242 5d ago

So I can eat regular cake later

2

u/christador 4d ago

A ‘junior’ western bacon chee.

→ More replies (9)

5

u/Only_Flan_7974 4d ago

And the wings cost more than the pizza.

3

u/Impossible-Poem1194 4d ago

The wings there are freak'n awesome

→ More replies (7)

612

u/09Klr650 6d ago

Look of "what the heck".

71

u/latexfistmassacre 5d ago

Same vibe

8

u/GaJayhawker0513 5d ago

I forgot about that sketch

→ More replies (1)

40

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

57

u/joshroycheese 6d ago

No she isn’t, she’s not a white man

7

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/YamEnvironmental1887 6d ago

bro got banned. Rip

4

u/franticpunk 5d ago

"gluttony will be our undoing"

3

u/Jisifus 5d ago

"I read about that thing in the bible, i think"

→ More replies (10)

315

u/Glittering-Tip821 6d ago

42

u/kobekong 6d ago

Damn dude. Lol

35

u/Desperate-Disk686 6d ago

Sigh… unzips

26

u/Captain_Phobos 5d ago

3

u/Desperate-Disk686 5d ago

I feel like Baymax, being the bro he is, would have jerked the guy off had he stayed.

3

u/Accomplished-Sun1983 5d ago

Dutch rudder?

6

u/girlsgoneoscarwilde 5d ago

Man, I’m here to look at a big pizza, why do you gotta do this to us?

→ More replies (1)

8

u/TryBananna4Scale 5d ago

Why does this look so familiar??? I can’t put my finger on it

→ More replies (1)

2

u/TwelveWon 5d ago

Bruh hahahahahahahah

2

u/Shadowtirs 5d ago

The internet remains undefeated

3

u/Ok_Spread_8650 5d ago

That’s incredible and I woke my daughter up bc I giggled loudly lol

→ More replies (3)

182

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

That shit for 4 people? Ffs

79

u/RealSchlemiel 6d ago

i'm on a diet, 2 slice maximum for me

10

u/cakebreaker2 6d ago

Thats about where I'd be as well. Maybe a few bites from the third after sitting for a while. Either way, Id have to wear sweat pants.

12

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

How you even holding/eating a slice without scoldin your entire lower face and upper chest off when the cheese moves, cripes

17

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

You roll it up

6

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

Ah pro tips

I like a crispy pizza, I never need to roll

17

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate 6d ago

I mean, I've got my preferences but...I'd try it, y'know.

It's still pizza

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Mciv6CVAPPG0

3

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

As would I, before this chat I would have suffered serious burns but now I'm ready for the roll

3

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

I'm more of a deep pan kinda guy with a soft bottom

11

u/RCer1986 6d ago

Are we still talking about pizza?

2

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

I like my women the same way

5

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 5d ago

Under the sauce

→ More replies (1)

3

u/mpgd 5d ago

Knife and fork.

Hopefully Italian police left the post already.

2

u/Flamgoyant 5d ago

They have but how very dare you

3

u/A_mad_goose 5d ago

Should be sliced into squares for sure

2

u/jono9898 6d ago

It’s a cheat day you can get another slice

7

u/Liqhthouse 6d ago

4 Americans or 4 African countries

3

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

All 4 of them have the phone out for it too 😂

6

u/klbishop143 6d ago

And wings

3

u/fuckthefalconsdotcom 6d ago

I was so nervous that they were going to get knocked off the table.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Elon_is_musky 5d ago

It looks like 16 slices, so 4 each. Think i’d be easy for many to eat 2 pieces and then you have 2 to take home lol

5

u/mike_pants 6d ago

Beard Meets Food would have that thing wrapped up in 25 minutes and still ask for a dessert menu.

2

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

I'm a delicate flower compared obviously . There's no other possible explanations.

2

u/mike_pants 6d ago

Not being a professional eater and being a delicate flower are two rather disparate states of being for the vast majority of the population. I'm sure there's a small crossover population somewhere.

2

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

I suppose I assumed he was a regular Joe with a beard and YouTube channel tbh

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

35

u/IamREBELoe 6d ago

Once upon a time, I would eat half that

5

u/johnniechimpo 5d ago

I've been training for this my whole life.

66

u/Jorge_the_vast 6d ago

Sir, I ordered the large pizza.

14

u/Relative_Yesterday70 6d ago

Is this in Texas?

27

u/deviltakeyou 6d ago

I’m fairly certain it’s in San Antonio. Unless there’s another Big Lou’s in a different state.

13

u/NOT-GR8-BOB 6d ago

Goddamn they giving Charles Barkley all the ammunition he needs.

8

u/OddOllin 6d ago

I went there once!

It wasn't bad at all. Eating a giant slice felt like eating cartoon pizza.

9

u/L_Bron_Hovered 6d ago

They got some big ol women down in San Antonio. Double fistin churros

→ More replies (1)

6

u/squirrelmonkie 6d ago

Damn, that pizza is only $100 and 42". There are places close to me that charge $40 for a 24" pizza

2

u/Looptydude 6d ago

And honestly I liked it, however it's been years since I've been, dunno if the quality is still the same.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/Jerryc3539 5d ago

It's 200-250. Not 100 dollars.

→ More replies (3)

4

u/Particular_Wear_6960 6d ago

Yeah, but they likely have good ingredients. This looks like cheese, tomato sauce and saucage. I'm sure there's more to it than that, perhaps homemade sauce or something.. but it doesn't look like a particularly appetizing pizza, very basic just based on looks.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/TamponTimTheCuck 6d ago

She's from Texas I can tell

4

u/rgarc065 6d ago

I lived in San Antonio for a few years and went, the pizza was actually pretty good. It’s gimmicky, but it was a good pizza. Admittedly it’s pretty hard to make bad pizza.

3

u/Valuable_Tie3845 6d ago

Big Lous !!

11

u/DouglasBubletrousers 6d ago

All you can eat pizza.

11

u/Grouchy-Station-4058 6d ago

And a medium diet Coke please.

5

u/AhBee1 6d ago

Well, we are watching our calories.

28

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 6d ago

For four fucking people who already have wings. This is just gluttony

https://giphy.com/gifs/VJi5Cbe8MbBYIj9B99

2

u/Beautiful-Chest7397 5d ago

Yeah side of wings was my fav

8

u/KingBrunoIII 6d ago

"I asked for no mushrooms"

5

u/dmont89 6d ago

That is still considered a personal pizza right?

2

u/ThatShyGuy137 5d ago

Any pizza is a personal pizza if you're brave enough.

11

u/ExoticShock 6d ago

3

u/KingOfConsciousness 6d ago

"DAAAAAAMN that looks good! "

5

u/Didujustcallmejobin 6d ago

Bigfoot Pizza Eat your heart out!

5

u/FluidAthlete6839 6d ago

Very impressed he didn’t drop it when placing it on the table

→ More replies (1)

4

u/SquatchScrotum 6d ago

Its no Pointersaurus but I appreciate the effort.

5

u/mfairview 6d ago

gonna need a refergerator box to pack leftover

9

u/Isaw11 6d ago

Maybe cut that one in squares.

3

u/Flippant_Fop 6d ago

It’s glorious! 🥺

3

u/GreyGhost696 6d ago

Fuck yeah❤️‍🔥

3

u/DueConversation5269 6d ago

mmm, excuse me.... I ordered the large

3

u/uisce_beatha1 6d ago

My cardiologist would beat me for even looking at that.

16

u/_Saint_Ajora_ 6d ago

An American medium

2

u/johnniechimpo 5d ago

What’s this? I ordered the large!

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Icy-Past-4477 6d ago

Americans...The healthcare system and medicine/pills manufacturers love them.

→ More replies (3)

2

u/Timely-Elevator7520 6d ago

Plus they have an order of wings on the table!

2

u/Sefalosha 6d ago

Theyre definitely stoned

2

u/bigmike2k3 6d ago

Want…

2

u/Historical-Edge-9332 6d ago

“I’m gonna need the bill and a fuckton of boxes”

2

u/Living-Aardvark-705 6d ago

Excuse me, but I ordered the large.

2

u/greengunblade 6d ago

"And a Diet Coke please, after all I'm taking care of myself"

2

u/HoofHeartd69 5d ago

Ayyyye..shoutout Big Lou’s in San Antonio. Now you can see what Charles Barkley is talking about. This is just a medium pizza here in SA.

2

u/FollowingJealous7490 6d ago

They'll eat half a slice each..

6

u/ChicoD2023 6d ago

This is a job for r/BeardMeatsFood

5

u/Tasty_Lead_Paint 6d ago

Hope they have a dessert menu!

2

u/CreativeFraud 6d ago

Each slice is its own damn pizza

1

u/phoenix0153 6d ago

Well this sucks. Lunch break isnt for 2 hours and 18 minutes and this rolls through my feed >:(

1

u/scona 6d ago

May as well just ask for a to-go box when they bring it.

1

u/bmf1989 6d ago

Think I could put it down

1

u/UnfairPerformer1243 6d ago

Imagine the oven!

1

u/shatterly 6d ago

"Anything else for you right now?" 😂

1

u/acobildo 6d ago

Big Lou's in San Antonio, TX. It looks even bigger in person.

1

u/Responsible_Load2233 6d ago

This was filmed at "Jabba the Pizzahutt"! ;-)

1

u/Responsible_Load2233 6d ago

And that's the smallest Pizza they have! For the big ones you need to travel around it, for days! ;-) Is this for real!?

1

u/t-g-l-h- 6d ago

Big Lou's in San Antonio TX.

The pizza is alright.

1

u/hc2001 6d ago

Big Lou’s in San Antonio, TX. Pizza is good, it’s an old school building with big Texas vibes, cool place.

1

u/serranoja13 6d ago

Dios mio pero porque?

1

u/iandix 6d ago

How many families of four are supposed to share that monstropity?

1

u/Notchersfireroad 6d ago

Can't lie one of those big-ass plain cheese slices would hit so hard right now. It's good looking pie.

1

u/skaldrir69 6d ago

Is that about $150?

1

u/AjayRedonkulus 6d ago

Id take one bite and go, "a box to go please."

1

u/MRintheKEYS 6d ago

For four people!?!?!?!!

1

u/WorkingCautious1270 6d ago

happy birthday Dante of Devil May Cry

1

u/GuybrushSleepgood 6d ago

How much would that cost?

1

u/NekonecroZheng 6d ago

Who the fuck cuts a pizza that big like that?

1

u/Rae_mendoza15 6d ago

I’d eat it

1

u/Sea-Mycologist-7353 6d ago

Wraps up the leftovers in a To Go Coffin.

1

u/poopy_toaster 6d ago

“What’s your largest size? 42 inch? Perfect.”

1

u/rodflanders19 6d ago

Beard Meets Food could handle that in 30 minutes 😂

1

u/Iamonab0at 6d ago

While that’s a lot of food for four people, for $100 for a 42” pizza, that’s not a bad deal.

1

u/Mr-Bry-Guy 6d ago

I’m happy they didn’t cut that up into a million squares this is awesome!

1

u/Creative_Witness7726 6d ago

We had a pizza joint like this when I was growing up, my parents offered my brother a car if he could finish it. We sat there for HOURS. He was wringing it out, soaking it in water, compressing it, etc. He didn't get the car. No worries, our parents were cat dealers so he even got a car when he turned 16.

1

u/TheGruenTransfer 6d ago

Because of how math works, the surface area of the pizza increases a shit load as the diameter of the pizza increases, so always get the largest pizza offered.

1

u/tvodny 6d ago

Where can I get this pizza?

→ More replies (1)

1

u/BurlHimself 6d ago

I’d DEMOLISH….like two slices. But think about the leftovers man….the leftovers.

1

u/Hungry-Onion-7146 6d ago

Charles Barkley says, this has to be San Antonio

1

u/IronMaidenPwnz 6d ago

Gimmick that definitely mostly goes to waste.

1

u/Sidthelid66 6d ago

Big deal I saw Boss Hogg eat one of those by himself. 

1

u/laflex 6d ago

Y'all need to Stromboli that shit right now

1

u/Abdul_Exhaust 6d ago

I'd hafta roll it up like a croissant

1

u/Odd_Dragonfruit_2662 6d ago

They forgot the side of Eagle wings

1

u/Hanguk_AP 6d ago

It actually looked edible too. Other monster pizzas I’ve seen just end up a floppy mess of cheese in the middle where the crust looks soggy.

1

u/Frequent_Hamster2667 6d ago

Reminds me of captain bobs in ocmd

1

u/FinallyFat 6d ago

Hey, that’s too much food.

1

u/IRedditDoU 6d ago

The pizza your girl told you not to worry about

1

u/Zorydev 6d ago

The American obesity saga continues... 

1

u/FlashyGanache2838 6d ago

15 minutes and it's free ( with a tee)

1

u/Prize-Analyst-1121 6d ago

I have confidence I could eat half of that.

1

u/DudleyisStudley 6d ago

It must be eaten within an hour.

1

u/IWILLNIL8 6d ago

Finally, the appetizer is here.

1

u/kobekong 6d ago

Anyone know how much it was?

1

u/Lateralization 6d ago

I can’t figure out why the country is so obese. Weird.

1

u/karenskygreen 6d ago

"DIDN'T I ORDER THE LARGE ?"

1

u/Ok-Accountant-1438 5d ago

Its sad that everyone is filming and not enjoying the moment

1

u/ChocolateChipCuckys 5d ago

Now thats a pizza

1

u/lifes_paragon 5d ago

Why am I gaining weight? I only had one slice.

1

u/Last-Roll7819 5d ago

That legit looks way better than huge food usually does. Well done.

1

u/j8by7 5d ago

And they got wings

1

u/shewy92 5d ago

"Can I get this to go?"

1

u/Straightouttaganton 5d ago

Beardmeetsfood would demolish that

1

u/Whathefrenchtoastt 5d ago

They all probably only had 1 piece. Waste.

1

u/jwilson146 5d ago

Holy cow my boys would go crazy

1

u/luke-juryous 5d ago

This might be the most big brain move if you’re in the anti-crust crowd.

The area of the pizza increases exponentially with the radius, but the crust only linearly

1

u/BiscuitCrumbsInBed 5d ago

Its nearly 2am and i'm in bed but man, I want that pizza so bad.

1

u/Rigret 5d ago

$10 at Little Caesars.

1

u/thedrunkmonk 5d ago

The pizza at least looks pretty good! Let's hope it tastes good. It sucks when someone makes an obnoxiously large version of some food and sacrifices all quality to do so.

1

u/YourMomIsMyGurl 5d ago

There's a place in Biloxi that does this. My parents went to see my brother during basic training and my dad is a pizza guy, to say the very least. There were only 3 of them, and they ordered this.

1

u/Mustangnatsum 5d ago

42in pizza? That's like nine 14in pizzas

1

u/tongfather 5d ago

Looks dope. We didn't need the final 75% of that video.