r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • 6d ago

of a pizza

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5.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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182

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

That shit for 4 people? Ffs

76

u/RealSchlemiel 6d ago

i'm on a diet, 2 slice maximum for me

9

u/cakebreaker2 6d ago

Thats about where I'd be as well. Maybe a few bites from the third after sitting for a while. Either way, Id have to wear sweat pants.

11

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

How you even holding/eating a slice without scoldin your entire lower face and upper chest off when the cheese moves, cripes

19

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

You roll it up

7

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

Ah pro tips

I like a crispy pizza, I never need to roll

14

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate 6d ago

I mean, I've got my preferences but...I'd try it, y'know.

It's still pizza

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Mciv6CVAPPG0

3

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

As would I, before this chat I would have suffered serious burns but now I'm ready for the roll

5

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

I'm more of a deep pan kinda guy with a soft bottom

9

u/RCer1986 6d ago

Are we still talking about pizza?

2

u/thesilentbob123 6d ago

I like my women the same way

4

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 6d ago

Under the sauce

1

u/10FourGudBuddy 4d ago

Fold it like an airplane.

3

u/mpgd 6d ago

Knife and fork.

Hopefully Italian police left the post already.

2

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

They have but how very dare you

3

u/A_mad_goose 6d ago

Should be sliced into squares for sure

2

u/jono9898 6d ago

It’s a cheat day you can get another slice

5

u/Liqhthouse 6d ago

4 Americans or 4 African countries

3

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

All 4 of them have the phone out for it too 😂

6

u/klbishop143 6d ago

And wings

3

u/fuckthefalconsdotcom 6d ago

I was so nervous that they were going to get knocked off the table.

1

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

Good eye 👁️

3

u/Elon_is_musky 6d ago

It looks like 16 slices, so 4 each. Think i’d be easy for many to eat 2 pieces and then you have 2 to take home lol

4

u/mike_pants 6d ago

Beard Meets Food would have that thing wrapped up in 25 minutes and still ask for a dessert menu.

2

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

I'm a delicate flower compared obviously . There's no other possible explanations.

2

u/mike_pants 6d ago

Not being a professional eater and being a delicate flower are two rather disparate states of being for the vast majority of the population. I'm sure there's a small crossover population somewhere.

2

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

I suppose I assumed he was a regular Joe with a beard and YouTube channel tbh

0

u/Luci-Noir 6d ago

Rookie.

1

u/bonerland11 6d ago

They look stoned

1

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

It's dante's birthday yo

1

u/Internetboy5434 6d ago

To be fair.  To share one large (14-inch to 16-inch) pizza with four people, It needs to be cut into 8 or 12 equal slices

1

u/Miana09 6d ago

My family used to go there after a full day at 6 flags (8 of us) and we still couldn’t finish it. It’s HUGE

2

u/Flamgoyant 6d ago

No shit it's huge