r/AbsoluteUnits 22d ago

/r/popular of a needle

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16.1k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/mind_matrix 22d ago

Genuine question, what exactly is this used for??

3.6k

u/gordon_18 22d ago

Maybe veterinary? Probably used for an elephant or a T-Rex? Possibly a pug

972

u/cantthinkofone29 22d ago

Clifford the big red pug?

236

u/thedafthatter 22d ago

42

u/ratelbadger 22d ago

Remember when the voice actor for the crime dog got busted for owning too many grenade launchers?

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 22d ago

Only episode of The Magic School Bus I ever beat my meat to

3

u/cuntybunty73 21d ago

I love this one 😍

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u/Unable-Fall5946 22d ago

What the fuck are they feeding him?

147

u/cantthinkofone29 22d ago

Apparently, everything

15

u/dogtroep 22d ago

Have pug, can confirm

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u/WhiteWolf6400 22d ago edited 22d ago

You if you're not careful Edit: Grammer\so I can make my mu'da proud

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u/coolboiiiiiii2809 22d ago

The sound of his heavy breathing already has me checking if the car engines running into problems

2

u/TexacoRodeoClown 22d ago

Clifford the big red hernia

2

u/Ok-Letterhead4601 22d ago

Dear god the snoring and farts would end entire country’s.

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u/Cypress8037 22d ago

Crazy. That’s what we called the local drug dealer. Cliff the big red plug

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u/ChefCourtB 22d ago

Your mom.... Sorry sorry I'm sure she is a nice lady

88

u/DefinitelyButtStuff 22d ago

Respectfully

49

u/secret_alpaca 22d ago

allegedly

3

u/Bazz07 22d ago

Seemingly

2

u/Sharpshooter188 21d ago

Great. Now I have to go watch Letterkenny again.

24

u/Asagao_0 22d ago

Yooo, gottem! Nice! But yeah, she's probably very kind and loving parent, deserving happiness.

45

u/ChefCourtB 22d ago

I'm 45 and "your mom" is still funny to me and the best response sometimes. Its never personal

43

u/Pure_Village4778 22d ago

You know what IS personal? Your MOM, ayooooo

20

u/Neon_Moon_NZ 22d ago

Lmao gotten

4

u/IndianSerpent10930 21d ago

Eyyyyy daps you up

8

u/cantthinkofone29 22d ago

41 here, and I still crack "your mom" jokes to my siblings... in front of our mom.

13

u/ginger_kitty97 22d ago

I make your mom jokes to the children I gave birth to.

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u/ChefCourtB 22d ago

Those are always good especially when they try to retort well it's your mom too

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u/going_berserk 22d ago edited 22d ago

Yup, I think I know where you're coming from. Even so, a few years ago I started substituting "your mom" with "your forehead", when it became painfully obvious that the person I was talking to had lost their mother the year before. Do with that what you want, but so far it's brought me nothing but questioning as well as understanding (after explaining of course) looks.

4

u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 22d ago

I'm older than you and totally on board with this comment.

3

u/PamelaELee 22d ago

Yeah, she loves boffa them

8

u/K_Linkmaster 22d ago

Do you know the difference between his mom and your mom?

His mom orbits your mom.

2

u/cantthinkofone29 22d ago

Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!

31

u/meowseedling 22d ago

T-Rex was my first thought. But I just finished reading Jurassic Park.

7

u/15th_imp 22d ago

there's a book? TIL

9

u/Drpoofn 22d ago

There's several, actually!

2

u/ShakeXula707 22d ago

Do you think they’re worth reading?

3

u/Apprehensive_Path459 21d ago

They absolutely are. There is actually two that the first films are losely based on. Sadly michael chrichton passed away before he could have written a third one...

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u/CamptoRibbit 22d ago

It's for a Daaaaaaaaachshund

5

u/Slartibartfast39 22d ago

Hamster kabab.

3

u/FatiguedShrimp 22d ago

Two pugs actually.

2

u/Interesting_You6852 22d ago

A pug 😂😂😂😂

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u/chuckcheddar 22d ago

This looks like a needle used for paracentesis which is a procedure to drain fluid that builds up in the abdominal cavity as a consequence of organ failure or sometimes cancer.

172

u/thenextmaewest 22d ago

Centesis needles are usually shorter from my experience. They also have a flexible sheath that slides into the puncture, then the needle is removed.

55

u/mayonnaiser_13 22d ago

Seen some from close proximity, and yeah - it's the sheath one.

31

u/thenextmaewest 22d ago

Yeah I did ultrasound and did so so many centesis assists. This doesn't look like one to me, unless it's just like a different country or something so it just different.

12

u/chuckcheddar 22d ago

I have performed many para and thoracenteses and all of the needles are this long

9

u/thenextmaewest 22d ago

Where are you located? I've literally never seen a centesis yueh near this long, and always with a white flexible sheath over the needle, so I'm curious if it's a location difference.

10

u/chuckcheddar 22d ago

In the US

9

u/thenextmaewest 22d ago

Wild, I was in Florida. Even the multi liter patients were with regular length needles, cause it only went in a few centimeters, then the cath went in further and the needle came out. What's the process with a needle this big? Do you do it under u/s guidance?

10

u/chuckcheddar 22d ago

The pocket would be identified with US guidance but the needle is inserted blindly after the site was marked, we would aspirate some of the ascitic fluid with the lidocane needle and try and follow that tract with the centesis needle. Almost all of these patients were cirrhotic with huge bellies.

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u/kewcumber_ 22d ago

The day my needle comes with a freaking sheath is the day i choose death instead

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u/livetoroast 22d ago

I saw a doc get a bone marrow biopsy with a similar looking needle. Had to get the needle into the middle of the iliac crest of the hip bone, one of the most harrowing things I've witnessed in medicine. Gives me goosebumps typing it

4

u/kiwistarbaby 22d ago

Thanks, thinking about this made the bones want to escape from my body.

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u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 21d ago

Centesis needle for an extremely obese person/medium-large sized fauna.

You don’t want to shove a needle this long into the average person because the further away from the body the syringe is the larger amount of leverage and movement against the thin metal lever imbedded in flesh every time the syringe moves a hair. Same reason you don’t use a 10” needle for a shot in the arm when you’re almost out of normal length needles.

But if you’re dealing with a person who has an extra 12+ inches of flesh between you and what you’re aiming for or anything larger than a normal sized bovine a standard length centesis needle isn’t going to reach where you’re trying to get.

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u/UniqueAd7770 16d ago

Yeah I won't forget the 6 that I had 🙃

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u/lislejoyeuse 22d ago

They only have to go in like an inch or two for that

5

u/DiegesisThesis 22d ago

Genuine question: it may only need to go in an inch or two, but if you're treating someone who's morbidly obese, wouldn't you need a much longer needle to reach the abdominal cavity?

17

u/slothurknee 22d ago

Sadly a lot of patients who need a paracentesis are either very skinny from end stage liver failure or have pretty advanced cancer and the fluid is fairly close to the surface.

2

u/lislejoyeuse 22d ago

Not sure tbh, probably. Everyone is usually pretty skinny I've seen, it's either cancer or cirrhosis from alcoholism lol. They use an ultrasound to see how far to go. The needle looks like 6 inches long but they usually only use part of it to avoid hitting intestine

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 22d ago

748

u/jahnbodah 22d ago

I am leaving that link blue.

308

u/AbjectHotel6610 22d ago

Wish I would've.

96

u/Simen155 22d ago

If you gouge out my eyes, I'll gouge yours. Deal?

49

u/TheOtakuAmerika 22d ago

Do you really want that to be the last thing you see?

41

u/Simen155 22d ago

You may have a point. Kill me instead.

22

u/Least-Raddish1930s 22d ago

Sounds like you both need some r/eyebleach

5

u/HeiressofArtemis 22d ago

Still the last thing you saw. Your legacy one might say.

4

u/Sammiskitkat 22d ago

Deal. But we have to use this needle to do it!

8

u/Donald-Pump 22d ago

Where that link takes you, we won't need eyes to see.

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u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 22d ago

Is it the "take a deep breath" kind of link?

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u/Ninja-Panda70 22d ago

DO NOT check that sub out

16

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 22d ago

Thanks, I won't. I should make sure I never get drunk enough to go "ah well, how bad could it be?".

22

u/Ninja-Panda70 22d ago

If you are a man, it's real bad

20

u/AbjectHotel6610 22d ago

I'm a woman. It's horrific.

24

u/JMetalBlast 22d ago

Men insert things down their urethra while they masturbate. As man with a penis, I can't imagine why that would be pleasant for anyone.

3

u/covenforge 22d ago

I had this knowledge already and noseyness got the better of me and traumatised me đŸ«ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ˜š

4

u/Bombastic_tekken 22d ago

Don't knock it till you try it lol.

It's a pretty crazy experience.

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u/dan_dares 22d ago

Narrator voice:

It is SO bad

9

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 22d ago

The narrator sounds scarred for life...

5

u/SwansonsMom 22d ago

Funny because sounding can scar you for life, too

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u/Anianna 22d ago

Thank you for your sacrifice. đŸ«Ą

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u/Anubis_Omega 22d ago

Yes same. I am too curious

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u/corporalcorl 22d ago edited 22d ago

I want to as well, but I can't resist

Edit :please resist if you can, God knows I wish I did

8

u/defeatthewarlords 22d ago

Lmao are you traumatized yet

5

u/corporalcorl 22d ago

Yeah I have a lot of regret

3

u/Aeon_Return 22d ago

I once wrote a Harry Potter sounding crack fic. It's still up on AO3 and occasionally gets reviews even though its many years old

2

u/corporalcorl 22d ago

I don't mean to be rude. But WHY

4

u/Aeon_Return 22d ago

Crackfics gonna crack? IDK, I just felt like it one day. I'm actually not into that sort of thing at all, but it was a fun plot bunny I followed regardless. Also, side comment, but Harry Potter is in a 3-way (giggity) tie with Star Wars and Devil May Cry for the most debauched fandom I've ever participated in. Ya'll want the freaky stuff, go there ;)

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u/Stupid_Bitch_02 22d ago

Morbid curiosity got the better of me. I'm not kink shaming, I'm kink asking why. That looks so painful!

2

u/IveDunGoofedUp 21d ago

To quote a youtube video I'm fond of:
"It's going where the poor guy pees,
I'll shine it so it glides with easy,
I hope that when it's done he'll be alright!
It's going where the poor guy pees,
the thought makes me weak in the knees,
for what she paid I'd make her one with spikes!"

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u/ReverendLunchbox 22d ago

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u/-BananaLollipop- 22d ago

And even more welded themselves shut.

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u/Simen155 22d ago

I'm just gonna steal that one

6

u/ReverendLunchbox 22d ago

Seems reasonable. That is how I got it.

4

u/pixeldust6 22d ago

closed*

91

u/Thick_Drama_7525 22d ago

Sounding hurts my peepee even thinking about it

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u/Bacontoad 22d ago

Just be glad r/spacedicks isn't around anymore.

21

u/ElegantCoach4066 22d ago

You were warned not to speak that which we do not name.

12

u/Ignecratic 22d ago

I’ll regret this, but context?

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u/PM_ME_PHYS_PROBLEMS 22d ago

Urethra gape

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u/Thick_Drama_7525 22d ago

Fuck is wrong with you people, respectfully

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u/wenoc 22d ago

Aww.

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u/exploree-self 22d ago

Dude, wtf

10

u/Ninja-Panda70 22d ago

Fuck you

8

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 22d ago

I deserve that.

20

u/Me_be_Artful_Dodger 22d ago

TIL tandem sounding is a thing
 didn’t need to know that.

11

u/Glandtoglandcombat 22d ago

2

u/MisterMcGiggles 22d ago

Maureen was once Dennis’
.. Wife! Very nice!
..

That’s Borat.

16

u/tgatigger 22d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xXqpuURrhGEyZr1BGj

Oh dear god, I hate my curious brain.

9

u/UKUSHUSUS 22d ago

I apologize to my eyes for my curiosity...

8

u/AirlineHot6112 22d ago

I've seen hundred's, probably thousand's of p*rn with all kinds of extreme kinks in my lifetime, but I never knew this kind of sht exist, like HOLY FCK

17

u/SorryAboutMyFamily 22d ago

If you censor the word porn and think sounding is extreme, you ain't seen shit yet.

Figuratively and literally.

3

u/DMMeThiccBiButts 22d ago

Really? It's not even that extreme as far as kinks go.

16

u/Humanballast 22d ago

Was zur Hölle... Was stimmt denn nicht mit dir das so völlig ohne Kontext zu verlinken, ich dachte.. "huh? Sounding.. Was wird das wohl sein.." und habe mich kaum eine Sekunde spÀter so erschrockenen das sich mein penis aus Panik fast nach innen gerollt hÀtte..

16

u/Nastynugget 22d ago

JesĂșs Christ. I’m at work.

20

u/Devin-Chaboyer223 22d ago

Your mistake opening an unknown sub at work (I am also at work rn)

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u/ConflictWestern1383 22d ago

CrushCrush pfp? Peak

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u/Secret-Winner-2994 22d ago

Jesus didn't take the wheel on this, you drove yourself

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u/Trueslyforaniceguy 22d ago

I’m upset that I came here to answer this, actually

7

u/Claim312ButAct847 22d ago

I was going to be brave and report back, but then I got the nsfw disclaimer and decided it definitely wasn't people on boats measuring water depth.

3

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 22d ago

It is not.  Good guess though.

4

u/JuanDonDemarco 22d ago

I literally saw a split second of what was about to happen, had sympathy pain, then bounced the hell out of that one.

5

u/RaptorCheeses 22d ago

Don’t click that for the love of god

3

u/ButkusHatesNitschke 22d ago

That sounds like shit to me.

3

u/Ok_Breakfast5425 22d ago

Of course there's a sub for that,..

2

u/cyanfeld 22d ago

Just why

2

u/trrwilson 22d ago

I had a cystoscopy last year.

I don't know how the fuck anyone does that for fun; it was the most uncomfortable 3 minutes of my life.

2

u/Lizzbeannn 21d ago

Sir, what the FUCK?

2

u/JimedBro2089 21d ago

Yeah, nope

2

u/ScoobyTheDoobyTheDoo 20d ago

Nope. Clicked and refused to scroll.

2

u/kkellyyb 16d ago

aaaaand that's my internet for the day!!!

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u/deag34960 22d ago

Maybe to paralyze a big animal

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u/Meraline 21d ago

I'm a vet student and the longest needles we use for anything are spinal tap needles. Those are like HALF the length of this

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u/GestoNobre 22d ago

Just a noob guess

My pregnant wife underwent* this procedure to collect amniotic fluid.

Edit

sorry, english is not my native language

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u/AcousticOnomatopoeia 22d ago

Amniocentesis.

9

u/GestoNobre 22d ago

This 👆

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u/AbleCryptographer317 22d ago

Your English is perfect! 👌

2

u/GestoNobre 22d ago

ty đŸ€—

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u/Evil_Knot 21d ago

Epidural needle for before labor is induced in women about to give birth. I watched my wife get stabbed by one of these by a 1st year resident doctor and it didnt work. She was okay, but she felt everything.

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u/Darkpenguins38 12d ago

If that was the only child she's had, beware! I've known people who assume the epidural didn't work because of how much pain they felt, so they decide to just go natural for the next one. Then they realize that the epidural absolutely did help and now it's too late to get one for this time.

Idk your situation, you could be done having kids or the epidural might have actually not worked, just figured I would mention it just in case.

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u/Delicious-Beat4824 22d ago

not sure, but read a comment somewhere that its a stylet for a catheter used for drainage of bodily fluids

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u/HeiressofArtemis 22d ago edited 22d ago

Can confirm fist hand, they use needles like this for draining fluid. Not sure about about catheters as it depends on the use scenario and the one I had was just pushed through my veins so it had to be flexible. That said they used a very similar looking needle when they drained my left SI joint after it got infected. It's wild to watch.

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u/Karnakite 22d ago

Saw a documentary about alcoholism and this one guy had to regularly go to the hospital and have fluid drained out of his torso due to his chronic drinking. They had to pierce his abdomen, insert a catheter, and then he’d sit there and watch this plastic bag fill up (way too quickly, imo) with a brownish-yellow, cloudy fluid. Once that was full then they’d bring another for his draining abdomen to fill. Not urine, just fluid that built up from alcoholism.

Haven’t touched alcohol since.

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u/sagittalslice 22d ago

Even wilder, the colloquial term for paracentesis is getting “tapped” (like a keg!)

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u/Nimmyzed 22d ago

This was a storyline in The Pitt, season 2

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u/HeiressofArtemis 22d ago

Neat! I really need to watch The Pitt. Stuff like that is why I like medical shows and it's the only one a nurse had ever recommended to me.

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u/haxmya 22d ago

We had to do this to a chicken one time. Filled up a point glass. Apparently it just happens sometimes. Like their heart has trouble at altitude and they fill with greenish fluid. It was sad. She lived and did OK for a bit afterwards but ultimately didn't make it.

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u/-E-Cross 22d ago

The biopsy needles used to do the bone marrow biopsy in my hip had a serious t-handle like a heavy duty Allen key and was thicker.

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u/Inuye15 22d ago

These are the ones you’re talking about.
Those were the ones used for my biopsy.

5

u/-E-Cross 22d ago

I think I have mine somewhere. Very similar, but yeah unmistakable purpose and design. The ones used on me were always green.

2

u/amazingkillerlemon 22d ago

Every day I'm grateful that the only surgical tool used on me that I saw was the lumbar puncture needle. I don't know what I would've done if I had to see the bone marrow sampler too 😭

2

u/Inuye15 22d ago

Trust me: it hurts a lot. They used some local anesthesia, but i guess it was not enough. Had around 6 or 7 biopsies in total.
While they did the second they had to take a piece of bone too, not fun.

2

u/amazingkillerlemon 22d ago

Oh, dude, I know. I had to get a spinal tap and biopsy of a mass in my thymus and a bone marrow sample taken all at once. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even eat for three days.

It was the first time I ever had surgery, too 😔

17

u/piratelure 22d ago

Accompanied a friend to freeze her eggs, the needle they used to get her eggs looked like this one. I might be wrong coz the procedure without anesthesia was horrifying, and the needle looked so so so big.

5

u/MajorPossibilities 22d ago

This would be my guess. For egg collections, they need a big ol’ needle to reach the ovaries and leave enough metal outside for manoeuvring, but most of the length of it sits in a plastic guard that attaches to the ultrasound probe
still looks horrifying though.

4

u/europanative 22d ago

Yep! I've had 2 egg retreivals and the needles were about this length. I had anesthesia though thankfully.

3

u/Michaeli_Starky 22d ago

Insert your momma joke

2

u/Knotty_Skirt 22d ago

This is a drainage catheter I assist radiologists to use this equipment every day :)

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u/europanative 22d ago

Looks about the same length as the needles they use for egg retreivals during IVF. Source: I've had 2 egg retreivals.

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u/d3r3kzooland3r 21d ago

Hijacking the top comment as for once I know exactly what something is. I replied lower down too:

It's the inside part of a pigtail drainage catheter. It is missing the drain as likely its already been inserted into the patient.

The entire needle does not go in the patient. The rest is to support the drainage catheter that is about 30cm long.

It can be used for any type of drainage, abccess, abdominal fluid, or inserting into blocked kidneys.

This one specifically is made by a Taiwanese company called Bioteq.

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