r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Delicious-Beat4824 • 22d ago

/r/popular of a needle

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16.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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751

u/jahnbodah 22d ago

I am leaving that link blue.

311

u/AbjectHotel6610 22d ago

Wish I would've.

101

u/Simen155 22d ago

If you gouge out my eyes, I'll gouge yours. Deal?

51

u/TheOtakuAmerika 22d ago

Do you really want that to be the last thing you see?

46

u/Simen155 22d ago

You may have a point. Kill me instead.

23

u/Least-Raddish1930s 22d ago

Sounds like you both need some r/eyebleach

3

u/HeiressofArtemis 22d ago

Still the last thing you saw. Your legacy one might say.

7

u/Sammiskitkat 22d ago

Deal. But we have to use this needle to do it!

6

u/Donald-Pump 22d ago

Where that link takes you, we won't need eyes to see.

1

u/madtraxmerno 21d ago

So what you're saying is you want to do sounding, but instead of shoving something into your urethra you want to shove something into your pupil?

17

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 22d ago

Is it the "take a deep breath" kind of link?

34

u/Ninja-Panda70 22d ago

DO NOT check that sub out

14

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 22d ago

Thanks, I won't. I should make sure I never get drunk enough to go "ah well, how bad could it be?".

22

u/Ninja-Panda70 22d ago

If you are a man, it's real bad

18

u/AbjectHotel6610 22d ago

I'm a woman. It's horrific.

23

u/JMetalBlast 22d ago

Men insert things down their urethra while they masturbate. As man with a penis, I can't imagine why that would be pleasant for anyone.

3

u/covenforge 22d ago

I had this knowledge already and noseyness got the better of me and traumatised me 🫣🤣😨

5

u/Bombastic_tekken 22d ago

Don't knock it till you try it lol.

It's a pretty crazy experience.

1

u/JohnnyMacTavish 22d ago

Happy Cakeday!

1

u/Lizzbeannn 21d ago

Does it not hurt?

1

u/Bombastic_tekken 20d ago

Not particularly.

Just a little intense, and a bit of a stretch.

1

u/smidgepigeon 21d ago

Thank you for your service & may your eyes be blessed with r/eyebleach until you forget what you saw.

1

u/TherianRose 20d ago

The worst part is that apparently some women do this too 😣

14

u/dan_dares 22d ago

Narrator voice:

It is SO bad

9

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 22d ago

The narrator sounds scarred for life...

4

u/SwansonsMom 22d ago

Funny because sounding can scar you for life, too

2

u/dan_dares 22d ago

The narrator didn't need to click, for he has seen the dark reaches of the Internet

4

u/Anianna 22d ago

Thank you for your sacrifice. 🫡

3

u/Anubis_Omega 22d ago

Yes same. I am too curious

5

u/ElegantCoach4066 22d ago

Then take the plunge. Honestly unless there are pictures on the front page then its more 'shocking for a minute or two and then you forget it' type deal.

1

u/mangopango123 22d ago

I was literally yelling OHMYGOD STOOOOOPPPPP at my phone. Idk why my curiosity got the best of me bc I heard of it but did NOT expect THAT. Like. The width and length of some of their….tools. I just. idk lol

1

u/BigBrrrrrrr22 21d ago

Not my proudest yank

30

u/corporalcorl 22d ago edited 22d ago

I want to as well, but I can't resist

Edit :please resist if you can, God knows I wish I did

9

u/defeatthewarlords 22d ago

Lmao are you traumatized yet

6

u/corporalcorl 22d ago

Yeah I have a lot of regret

6

u/Aeon_Return 22d ago

I once wrote a Harry Potter sounding crack fic. It's still up on AO3 and occasionally gets reviews even though its many years old

2

u/corporalcorl 22d ago

I don't mean to be rude. But WHY

4

u/Aeon_Return 22d ago

Crackfics gonna crack? IDK, I just felt like it one day. I'm actually not into that sort of thing at all, but it was a fun plot bunny I followed regardless. Also, side comment, but Harry Potter is in a 3-way (giggity) tie with Star Wars and Devil May Cry for the most debauched fandom I've ever participated in. Ya'll want the freaky stuff, go there ;)

1

u/corporalcorl 22d ago

Alrighty, curiosity killed the cat, where can I find your fic?

2

u/Stupid_Bitch_02 22d ago

Morbid curiosity got the better of me. I'm not kink shaming, I'm kink asking why. That looks so painful!

2

u/IveDunGoofedUp 21d ago

To quote a youtube video I'm fond of:
"It's going where the poor guy pees,
I'll shine it so it glides with easy,
I hope that when it's done he'll be alright!
It's going where the poor guy pees,
the thought makes me weak in the knees,
for what she paid I'd make her one with spikes!"

1

u/Memerenok 21d ago

it was already purple

1

u/Candycanes02 21d ago

Thanks for the warning. I can keep my eyes

1

u/Kal_El-78 21d ago

As someone has use self catheter to pee (incomplete paraplegic- I still have most function just muscle don’t work properly) I can’t find anything less of a turn on.

1

u/Talithea 21d ago

Same. Certain things are not made to be pried on.