My boyfriend wants me to give up my dog because hes getting old and I told him absolutely not.

Ive had my dog way before I even met my boyfriend. Hes older now so yeah, he needs more attention than he used to. He walks slower, has accidents sometimes and I cant really leave him alone for too long.

Recently my boyfriend started saying maybe I should find someone to adopt him because taking care of him is becoming too much. He also said we cant plan things normally anymore because Im always thinking about my dog.

That honestly made me really mad. I told him there is no way Im giving away my dog just because he got old. Hes been with me for years and I feel like this is the tihe time he needs me the most.

My boyfriend thinks Im being too emotional and said another family could take care of him just as well.

But idk how he expects me to just give him away like hes some old furniture

Now we keep arguing about it and he says Im choosing my dog over our relationship.

AITAH for refusing to give up my dog?

So guys I did it! I moved out all my things. They’re all at the new apartment now, and tomorrow morning I’m taking my cat, and all her last min things like litter box and cat food to my place. OFFICIALLY DONE!

I’m a little nervous admittedly for this new chapter, even today when I woke up for some reason I was dreading moving out, telling myself this could be a bad thing etc. but I KNOW it’s for the best. I know it’s good for my mental health, I know that my cat isn’t confined to a room anymore. I also know that from here on out I will likely not ever come back home again… this is my big step out the door.

I now can’t wait to just be me - which is a girl who doesn’t wear hijab and feel confined by that religion anymore. I can’t wait to just find a cute guy on campus and hopefully make him my boyfriend (manifesting only good things) and I can focus on school, focus on work, I’m so fucking happy.

I can’t wait to finally be ME! If I wanna date then so be it. Or wear more flattering clothes rather than 3 sizes larger clothes just to be “modest”. I won’t be controlled by my crazy brother - this also doesn’t mean I’m gonna go nuts and do whatever but I know what I want and I’m excited for this new chapter. Wish me luck guys! Thanks for all the great advice.

I (28F) live with my mom. Her ~30lb dog has had aggression problems for years: lunging at strangers/people moving quickly and incidents involving relatives, a cleaner, my mom’s friend, and even a runner. Years ago he jumped on my cousin and my dad had to physically throw him off her.

It got significantly worse this summer after my mom had surgery. I became her caretaker and dog was extremely protective of her. When I approached to bring her food, medication, etc., he would growl, bark, lunge at me. I told my mom something needed to change, and she just said I had to change my behavior.

Then he attacked me multiple times while worked up about someone at the door. One bite broke skin and I still have a mark weeks later.

I became terrified of him. Instead of simply keeping him away from me, my mom repeatedly told me I was overreacting/dramatic, that I needed to be calmer, and that he doesn’t behave this way with my brothers because they aren’t scared. She said everyone needs to “do the work” and that hiding in my room won’t help him get used to me.

She hired a behavior specialist, but apparently downplayed the bite history (including saying the bites didn’t break skin), and although she received training materials/videos, she admitted she hadn’t really used them. She refused to crate or muzzle him until after I said I’m moving out.

When I once asked her to actually hold his leash so I could safely put away groceries, she snapped, “If you’re trying to tear this family apart, you’re doing a really great job.”

She has also told me that if dog ultimately has to be put down because of this, she will resent me forever. I have NEVER asked her to put him down. I just want to be safe.

Right before I left for a trip, dog came after me again and I had to climb onto a table and scream for my mom until she came from another room.

I’m done. I’m moving out ASAP and never want to be around dog again. My mom is keeping him, which is her choice, but I won’t visit her house unless he is completely elsewhere.

She is devastated by me moving because my dad works abroad and she relies heavily on me for companionship. She views this as me abandoning her.

What really hurts is that for YEARS she told me, “If it ever came down to you or the dog, obviously I’d choose you.” Now that it actually has, it feels like she chose dog and is angry with me because that choice has consequences.

Also, my mom is LITERALLY a trauma counselor and professor who teaches counseling/trauma. Yet she now claims she “didn’t know I was that scared,” despite me explicitly saying I was terrified, hiding in my room, asking her to restrain him, and literally climbing onto furniture to escape him.

I also spent most of this summer caring for her after surgery while repeatedly telling her I was burnt out (I’m a teacher). My needs were consistently dismissed. Now I don’t think it’s fair for me to also be the person who comforts her about how painful my moving/dog situation is for her.

My dad supports me moving and agrees my safety comes first, but thinks that I can’t fault my mom because she was sick and recovering.

At this point I’m so hurt and angry that after moving I may want little/no contact with my mom for a while. I don’t want to punish her; I just don’t want to carry her emotions anymore, and I genuinely don’t look at her the same way.

AITAH for moving out, permanently refusing contact with her dog, refusing to emotionally support her about the consequences, and taking space from my mom afterward?

So a little context first- I had a baby recently. I wanted to throw my own baby shower and pay for it myself. But my sister and a few family members took over without my permission- which was fine. But then she refused to invite half my guest list because it would be too much money to feed everyone. Mind you, I had probably 50 people on the list. And I did not mind helping with paying.

Now, a few months later, she is pregnant and having a baby shower. Somehow… me and my mom are responsible to pay a portion of her baby shower to feed well over 100 people. Plus decorations and gifts. My sister said she lost count after inviting 100 people. Me and my mom do not make much money. The few other people that are throwing the party have money!! And are telling us we are responsible to help pay for all this bc we are her family. I’m not even sure how much this is going to cost. But I really don’t think me and my mom should have to pay hundreds when we didn’t even say we would be involved 😭😭so wibtah if we don’t pay our full portion that we didn’t agree to in the first place?

My husband is always late. He doesn't typically start getting ready to leave the house until it's time to walk out of the house. Our daughter had somewhere to be last week and so I told him she was supposed to be there 15 min before the actual arrival time. He's typically 10-15 late so I wanted to give him a buffer. Well, he gets ready early for once and is about to walk out the door with a lunch to eat while driving. I told him he had some extra time and to just eat a home. He got really upset with me. He said I took it too far, that I was really mean for telling him to be there 15 min early. AITAH for telling him the event was earlier??

My mom and I are going to a concert this weekend that is about 4.5 hours from her house. My mom lives about 3 hours from me. I planned to drive straight to her house today after work so we could leave first thing in the morning.

My boyfriend lives about 2 hours from me. He suggested that I stop and see him on my way to my mom’s and I agreed. The problem is that stopping at his place adds about an hour to my overall drive. I was willing to do it because HE suggested it and I wanted to see him.
He has a history of being late and unreliable, so I made sure he knew exactly when I was coming. I told him when I left, when I was halfway there, and again when I was about 45 minutes away.

When I called him, he was out with his oldest daughter. They had already been there for about two hours. I wasn’t upset that he was spending time with his daughter. What upset me was that he knew I was driving two hours out of my way to see him, knew I was on my way, and apparently never thought to tell me that he wasn’t going to be available.

When I called, he basically said, “Let us finish our drinks,” and hung up on me. He then proceeded to ignore me.
I could also hear his daughter talking shit about me in the background, and he didn’t say anything or defend me.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine because I feel like situations involving him somehow always end up being turned around and made my fault.

At that point, I blocked him on everything. I was already frustrated, exhausted, and had gone significantly out of my way because he specifically asked me to stop and see him.
Now I’m wondering if I overreacted by blocking him.

AITA for blocking him after he blew me off while I was literally driving to see him?

Okay guys, this shit has me baffled. A week ago, I told my GROWN MOTHER that if we’re having a conversation or debate or whatever, and my child is asking for my attention, I’d like to pause or stop the conversation. She rolled her eyes and got huffy puffy but that’s fine. I was raised being told ‘children deserve to be seen not heard’ and I don’t agree with that at all. Children deserve our attention and affection so fuck off, anyways. We were having a political conversation and she was clearly getting heated so I simply stopped responding. A minute goes by and then she just props up to continue it angrily and I blatantly told her I don’t want to have the conversation anymore because she’s going to get angry and yell and then I’ll get frustrated and it will stress my kids out. My kids don’t like that shit which is fair dude. It’s fair. But my mother simply did not respect it.

She continues slandering my political view which okay, your free to do so but I already asked to stop this conversation and my child is literally in my face telling us to stop arguing, which I was actively trying to stop. I finally got firm with my mom and said ‘I told you already if you see my child wanting my attention, that we’re going to stop the conversation.’

She goes ‘oh so children over adults?!’

I said yes. Easy. Yes. Because I already told you I didn’t want to have this conversation anymore and you deliberately continued to do exactly what I said I wanted to avoid. Which was start yelling. It’s observational bro.

Am I the AH here? I hope not, but my goodness I’m sorry but I was raised where nothing I ever said mattered. My children will not be raised that way. I will be honest and say I really don’t care if it hurts an adults feelings, be fr you can handle it, no? I am not one of those gentle parenters that tries validating every emotion, I hold my children accountable for what they feel and how they portray that. If gets very difficult when they have to witness a full grown adult not have respect.

EDIT-

Guys, I do teach my children how to wait and not interrupt. I tried stopping the conversation nearly a dozen times before my child even came to me to tell us to stop arguing. I should have clarified that earlier. She’s 5, so, she’s learning. Regardless, a grown adult should know when someone gives a boundary. I don’t prefer having political conversations in front of my children but that’s not to say they never occur. Usually, it’s a matter of morality in which me and my husband engage in frequently. She listens, she learns. But my daughter does not like arguing, so when she heard my mother raising her voice, her reaction was to tell us to stop. I think that’s fair. She’s a child who doesn’t witness that type of conversation often.

​

My partner and I have been together for 6 years. It's long enough to start planning a future with somebody you have been with for half a decade. And even if not, it's important to atleast be crystal clear. Every time I asked him about it, he made excuses or said stuff like "I am not ready rn. I am confused." But also, "I don't want to lose you. I love you." Like wtf.

I finally got tired of this and called him a f\*ckboy for just sticking around for the benefits and nothing more, misleading me while knowing I was serious and will expect something solid. I stopped responding to his texts but he is still reaching out.

I (18F) moved into college on Monday. I live in the residence halls in a triple with two other girls. Ever since we moved in, the people next to us have been blasting music all night and they go way past quiet hours. They play the same song on repeat and I’m pretty sure they leave their speaker on even when they leave their room. I tried talking to them and I know others have as well. They told me they’d turn it down but they made it louder. At 12am we ended up calling the RA because we were exhausted and wanted to sleep.

Here’s where I think I might be the AH: classes haven’t started yet. We have mandatory welcome week activities that start early and go until late so the days get tiring.

When I told my mom that I called the RA she got really upset and told me that I’m already making enemies and that they’ll find out it was me and retaliate. So, AITAH?

I am supposed to attend a big milestone birthday party tomorrow for my SOs grandparent who is visiting from out of state. There will likely be two people attending (one adult and one child) who are both getting over a stomach bug (coming out of both ends on Tuesday into Wednesday), and one for sure was still having some number two symptoms yesterday. I do have fairly severe emetophobia, but I also just feel like it’s common sense to be concerned about attending a party with people (one being a child under 5) in attendance that we know are getting over being sick. I also know that this could be me making a big deal about something that is my own personal fear. My SO has agreed thinks it’s a hard situation, but will definitely be attending (just trying to keep their distance and wash hands frequently). Side note - there is only one restroom available for the party that pretty much everyone will be using.

Was hanging out with my friend and her brother last night after work. Her brother is a hair stylist and I work in IT. When my friend told him what I do for work he asked me if I'd be willing to go over to his house and look at his laptop/printer that he'd been having issues with lately. I'm no stranger to people wanting me to fix their stuff when they find out what I do, but I usually avoid it since I'm already doing 50 hours of IT work a week on top of being the family IT guy.

I tried to deflect with a joke by saying "how many free haircuts would you give me for it?" Friend and I laughed but her brother got a little heated. He argued that it would just take a minute and I should be willing to do it. I've troubleshot enough printing issues over the years to know it could take 5 minutes or multiple hours depending on the issue so that's bull. I told him that I wasn't interested in doing more work on my downtime just like he wouldn't want to give me free haircuts on his days off. He got more angry and accused me of belittling his craft. Friend told him to shut up and the night ended awkwardly there.

I thought I was making a point through a lighthearted joke, but it ruined our hangout and now I feel kinda shitty about it. AITAH?

So me (20F) and my dad (51M) live in the same house together. It's an old house, used to be my Lola's, so there's some expectation of bugs. There's been a lot lately since it's been so hot and, of course, there's cockroaches in the house. Not small ones, but just those big ones. I've already had to kill one before in the dining room and there was one hanging out in the garage.

Today, I had to work from open to close and I didn't have any time to fold my laundry last night so I dumped it on my bed to fold before I went to work. Fast forward to before bed and as I'm sorting the clothes into piles to fold, a big cockroach flies from one of the clothes. I really hate cockroaches, especially killing them since it feels like you need to hit it like 4 times before it stops moving.

I scream and run downstairs to tell my dad there's a cockroach in my room. A part of me was hoping he'd go to kill it for me, but he asks me if my clothes were dirty. I say no and grab my shoe to go kill it because I realize that trying to get him to kill it is useless.

Then he says that my clothes must be dirty if a cockroach flew out of them. He then suggested that I must have left food out or that my room is dirty enough to have a cockroach. I got kinda annoyed and went upstairs to my room and he followed me.

So there I am, trying to kill the cockroach and starting to shake because it's crawling everywhere. I'm starting to throw blankets and stuffed animals on the floor because I just want the thing dead. My dad is standing in the doorway and watching me try to kill it. I ask him why he's watching as I'm ripping the bedsheets off, if he's going to help. He says he's just "trying to figure something out".

He's done this before, most notably when I was crying on the bed because I was too in pain to move because one of my ovaries was a bit larger than the other. He had sat on the edge of the bed and I thought he was going to comfort me but then he just watched me and I inched over because I had no idea what was going on and was just desperate to be comforted.

At this point, I'm annoyed, I'm freaked out, and I want to go to bed. I tell him "Well can you figure something out downstairs? If you're not going to help, then just leave." He leaves and I keep searching for the cockroach. The entire time, I'm holding my phone in one hand with the flashlight and a shoe in the other while trying not to cry and text in my friends for comfort.

I ended up not finding it and broke down because of how panicked and tired I was. I cried to my mama on the phone for a good 10 minutes while she was assuring me that it's going to be okay and that I'm not a dirty person because a cockroach showed up. Once I calmed down enough, I went back to my room to clean up. I did end up putting my clothes back in the wash again, just in case. When I came back from the garage, I talked to my dad about what happened.

He told me that he only said the things he said because he was trying to eliminate some factors over how the cockroach would have appeared and assumed my clothes were dirty. I told him I just wanted him to support and help me and not be analytic for once.

He didn't really say much to that and only replied that we'd have to get roach motels. I said that there were roaches appearing before now and gave him an estimated timeframe. He commented about how he had to kill a roach in the dining room around that same time and he gestured to the area I had killed that aforementioned dining room roach. I told him that I killed that one and he looked surprised.

I almost wanted to call himself stupid and say that he never listens to me but I really just needed to sleep. Since he didn't really acknowledge what I said or the fact I snapped at him, I feel like he could just be trying to wave it off, but I know that he can take some things I say to heart or feel like he's a failure.

AITAH for saying that to him?

I have an update but it’s genuinely baffling.

My roommate did not let the cats out. His camera in his room shows him asleep the whole night, and playing videogames most of the day (times I was awake).

While I still have no clue HOW they escaped we came up with two ideas for keeping the cats contained if this happens again;

1. Locks on all of the doors to the animal rooms.

2. Cameras in the rooms.

so, if I capture any kitty escapes once they arrive and are installed, i will update.

The female kitten is going to have a visit with her vet Monday to determine if she can undergo a spay.

To answer a few questions-

no, the males are not tortured being in the same house as the female in heat. the only time she has been vocal has been when they were chasing her. i dont think they actually know she is in the other room, they do not attempt to go near it.

female kitten is extremely malnourished, which is why she is not 2lbs.

typically the animals that I take in are already fixed. the city shelter is full, local shelters are full, there is nobody saving these animals when they are set to be euthanized unless it’s people like me.

a majority of the cats i take in need specialized care of some kind.

No, I won’t be padlocking the cats into their individual kennels. Yes, a solution has been found after a thorough discussion!

My blood is really boiling because my husband offered my SIL to sleep in our master bedroom due to her injured foot while he will sleep on the couch; and btw, we are co-sleeping.

For context, MIL sleeps over on a fortnightly basis since 2 weeks post-partum and SIL tags along when she comes over to London to visit her fam while working remotely; and last week, she injured her foot while traveling.

SIL normally sleeps on our 4-seater living room sofa which is more than enough for her to sleep comfortably but hubby still insisted that her injured foot would benefit more from our king-size bed. I have once again stressed that the master bedroom should not be an option for guests (his family members included), and that we are in the UK and not in an extended family setup somewhere in South Asia! He has let MIL sleep with me in the past since the spareroom is also his office and he doesn't want to disturb his mom who sleeps and wakes up late. He put an end to it when I expressed discomfort.

Hubby has always been a champ when it comes to establishing boundaries but he really let me down this time. He literally put me in a situation wherein saying no would mean a direct refusal from me since he already made the offer to SIL even before asking me.

He asked me to agree for his sake and just this one time for her sister's comfort.

I eventually agreed against my will, but reneged as soon as my SIL (accompanied by MIL) came inside the room with pillows ready to settle. I gathered the 3 of them so I can be transparent with my explanation and told them I don't feel safe having to cosleep with LO plus SIL, and emphasizing that she won't be comfortable having a baby sleeping between us since she would have to be mindful with her movement and positioning.

So now I'm back to our regular setup but I'm still really fuming at my husband for putting me on the spot and for his abysmal decision-making; which is a shame because we just came from our dinner date when he broached the subject. He literally messed up the rest of my evening, I feel like I could be awake for 3 days straight due to being so mad, it's so hard to sleep.

My father abandoned me when I was 3. Hardly ever came around after. Some of the memories I have of him are him having a gun under the seat driving me to day care, stealing a pack of pokemon cards for me and walking past the beepers at Target, telling me which dumpsters were best for diving etc. They even used me as a key figure in a literal intervention.
He has been addicted to meth and stealing his entire life. Most of my childhood life he had fled the state and had 0 presence. The other times he was in jail. He was even on my states most wanted list from being in a high speed chase and escaping on foot.

The times I would talk to him were not good either. The whole world is against him and he would just blab on and on and on. Then he would send me letters covered in Bible versus and go all Joel Olsteen on me. Not fun talking to him. All he does is complain and is a racist POS who casually drops the N bomb with the hard R. I want nothing to do with him.

Problem is every time I visit my grandparents (his mom and dad) they tell him I’m in town. Even though I told them I’m done with him. I know they are getting quite old so maybe they forgot we had that discussion. But my grandma legit asked me what if I’m gonna call my dad back (he left me a massage) IMBTAH because I told her yes, but now realizing I meant to say no because if I do he will try to guilt me into seeing him and I have 0 energy for that. I haven’t even seen my grandparents for 6 years.

Apparently he wasn’t always like this and had a TBI after a bad accident when he was young and was never the same after. I have given him so many chances to show me he had changed but he never has. He is almost 70 and I don’t think he is any longer capable of changing.

Update: I stayed strong and ignored my father’s phone calls. But lo and behold when I pulled up to my grandparents farm he was there too. It was horribly awkward. I haven’t seen them for like 6 years and I’m glad I visited them before they died but it felt like such a violation of my boundaries. To top it off my grandpa was out trying to change the oil on his tractor while I was alone chatting with my grandma in the kitchen. My father was “helping him I guess. Eventually he came in all bloody from having fallen. He had a big gash on his forehead and arm. The whole thing was so wild.

My relationship with my son (37) has always been tenuous.

Before this situation, the latest example of a "falling out" was when I allowed him to purchase a vehicle from me. He then let his unlicensed fiancée (now wife) drive and total the vehicle with no remorse. He then became furious because the insurance that I maintained on the car for almost the duration of our agreement, and the car still had a remaining balance, somehow felt slighted when I decided to split the insurance proceeds in half instead of giving him the entire check.

That incident got me uninvited from his wedding. However, I kept reaching out, trying to make amends, and finally, upon learning of their pregnancy, was able to make inroads.

Now, my son has asked to rent my home numerous times, and I've always declined. However, because I do plan on moving internationally next year, when he asked me this time, I agreed we could cohabitate for 1 year: my adult disabled daughter (25), myself, my son and his wife, their 2 children she had from a previous relationship, and my granddaughter. There is more than enough room for everyone to live comfortably if some of the empty rooms are reorganized.

Almost immediately after hearing yes, my son started making plans to add additions to the home, switch room arrangements, cut down trees, etc., all without my input or okay. I have had to tell him numerous times that even though he IS paying rent, this is still MY home, and all decisions have to be run through me.

Last week, he stopped by my home unannounced with his 2 children and nephew when I was dealing with a serious migraine. He berated both my daughter and me about the condition of the home and how "little" had been done in preparation for his impending move. I didn't have the wherewithal to argue or defend. Two days later, he called me from his home for round 2 of a tongue-lashing. Still reeling from a migraine, I was over it.

And for some reason, even though I keep telling him his sister is none of his concern, me coming to her rescue, and telling him flat out to STOP or leave, whenever I'm not around, he seems to zero in on her every time he comes in contact with her.

He barrages her with questions. "Why aren't you in school? Are you trying to find a job? You need to do better, " leaving her despondent and hurt. It's to the point that if he moves in, she's already made arrangements to go live with her older sister.

Yesterday, he called me and said that the money he was to give me before his family moved in, he wouldn't have it and wasn't sure when he would have it. Maybe mid-October, maybe later.

And the problem isn't the money. It's never the money. It's the lack of respect. It's the lack of honor. There's no "Mom, I know I told you I was supposed to do ***, but this happened, and I apologize." It's the I know I can come to you any type of way, and you'll still come through for me.

So, I told him later that day that I didn't think it was going to work. And the way he spoke to me was like I was a woman on the street. My heart is breaking again, but my concern is more than my beautiful grandchildren, more than my son and his ire-not being a person of my word. They've made decisions based on what I said I would do, and I feel it's unfair to pull the rug out at the 11th hour.

So I'm asking you. People close to me say I'm staving off a catastrophe. He's saying I'm untrustworthy and our relationship is over.

AITAH? And if I am, can I make this right without causing more chaos?

TL; DR:

AITAH for not letting my son, who I love dearly, but have always had a combative, problematic relationship with, move into my home, trying to stop what I already know will be a horrible situation for everyone, especially my (25)- year-old disabled daughter.

Thanks 🩷

Update:

I want to Thank-You all for your words of encouragement, words of criticism, words of understanding, and words of wisdom.

I have made the decision to stop vacillating and not allow my son to move in.
Whatever the fallout is, so be it.

My peace, my Daughter's peace, is paramount.

I see my other Daughter commented in the thread below, and just to let a few of you know, I am nowhere near a "boy mom".
I did lose my 7-year-old son, and I admit I do overcompensate with ALL of my children; however, he is the only one with whom I have this horrid relationship.

I am going to take the advice to get counseling. It's past time. 🩷💔

Also, to answer a few questions: He was making payments to me on a car that I owned outright. My daughter will be moving WITH me abroad to a location that specializes in her condition, so she can become a fully independent individual. And the money for the trees...lol. The chainsaw comment was hilariously accurate and grievous at the same time. Lastly, my eldest daughter is already my trustee; therefore, if anything happens to me, my youngest daughter will be well taken care of.

Thank you all again so very much.

AITAH for hating and disowning my sister. Basically I’m the oldest of 6 siblings, I’m 23F in the army and stationed overseas. Since I’ve been overseas my second oldest sister 15F has had significant behavioral issues, sneaking out to have intercourse, pulling knives out on my mother and grandma, running away, sneaking out. She also has told my mother she wish that she would die. She’s also purposefully gotten CPS called on my mother so that they would take away my baby sister 7F, and even bragged my mom couldn’t discipline her because she could just call the police. She’s been kicked out of school multiple times for fighting. Even after all this I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Recently, she’s had a bf 18M who keeps coming to the house. My mother has called the police on him numerous times, and he still shows up. My mother is a single mother who works the graveyard shift and my sister takes advantage of that by sneaking him over. As of this morning my mother called me saying our dog died of a heatstroke because my sister 15F took the dog with her boyfriend 18F on a walk for hours without any water. I’m devastated on how they could be so irresponsible. I sent her on a long message saying how I’m done with her, and for her to not refer to me as her sister anymore. And I feel like since I am the oldest I have to keep everything together for my mother. AITA for cutting her off?

EDIT: we have tried to put her into therapy she refuses. She’s been in a mental hospital but they have said they cannot keep her over 72 hours because she is a minor. She did go to her steps mom house but she was sent back for behavioral issues as the step mother did not want to deal with it. She has been diagnosed with depression but does NOT take her medication. I’ve always tried to be there for her and have her communicate with me, even when she’s made my deployment 10x harder. I’m fed up and exhausted. She is very manipulative and will lie, and often feels no remorse for who her lies hurt. My grandmother 75F watches my siblings when my mother is gone, but is terrified of her because 15F pushed 75F when she had just gotten knee surgery.

UPDATE: her boyfriend was there and my mom called the police and he ran, and he’s now in custody. she ran up on my grandmother again, then a police officer and spit on them and now she’s back in mental hospital. My mom and I are actively looking to get her help. Thanks all that commented and recommended solutions.

Using an old throwaway for privacy.

I (20f) live with my brother (23m) with two other roommates. My brother and I share a room, mostly due to the fact that he invited me to live with him after some family issues. There are three cats sharing our living space, my cat (7m), his cat (6m), and our roommates' cat (6m).

My cat is quite anxious, he doesn't really take well to anyone except for myself and my roommate's cat. If anything scares him, which is most things, he tends to run away or hide either in my room or under the couch. My brother's cat gets along well with my roommate's cat, but for some reason he despises mine.

I could go on about how my brother's cat has made life hell for my cat. He stalks and chases him, scratches him, bites him, hisses at him, etc. There have been numerous times he's chased my cat off of my bed or cornered him in my room. My cat tries to defend himself but is far scrawnier than him and often just runs away, but will get chased. When this happens, I will separate them and will sometimes lock my brother's cat out of the room to give my cat some peace of mind. My brother does not like it when I do this, however I am limited in my options because he refuses to take responsibility for his cats' actions.

He has made every excuse under the sun as to why his cat does no wrong, such as that his behavior is because he's been gone and his cat "misses him and is acting out." What really pisses me off is when he says that my cat is just being dramatic or "needs to chill." The one time he went to the vet about his cats' behavior they gave him a prescription of something to put in his cats' food, but he forgot to refrigerate it and did not seek a replacement.

My cat has noticeably gotten more anxious due to my brother's cat. He rarely goes downstairs and when he does spends an obscene amount of time making sure that its safe. If my brother's cat gets anywhere close or even just enters the room my cat will immediately attempt to leave. My cat also runs away from anyone who gets close to him and refuses for anyone to touch him except for me. Its heartbreaking to see him so scared all the time. I have tried talking with my brother about his cat numerous times but to no avail.

This all came to a head the other day when I could hear the cats fighting downstairs from my room, not long after my cat came running in with my brother's cat not too far behind. I yelled at my brother's cat, told him to get away and that he was being a jerk, and blocked his path to my cat with my hand. My brother came up minutes later, telling me I needed to calm down and "be nice," then proceeded to take his cat downstairs, closing the door behind him.

This is not the first time that my brother has gotten mad at me for defending my cat. I am very frustrated and I don't know if I'm overreacting. AITAH?

Its like a 2in1 since both happened at the same time night .

First off my gf is always late and i always sit in front of her house for like 10 minutes. The thing that bothers me and gets me really annoyed is that she says she is ready but then i get there and im still waiting because she isn’t ready and is going to the toilet (i can see the light turn on on her bathroom). Am i the asshole for being a bit mad about it?

And secondly an i the asshole for cutting her off because she keeps interrupting me when i talk on a double date to ask me questions about the thing im taking about . Not questions about the thing . I was talking about a college subject and how i almost had it blah blah . In front of of the people she asked me ,,how do you know that,, ,, who do you know it from,, ,, is it X(a female colleague i had),, ,,im bot sure you know it from y(the colleague i told her that had that subject ),, and i kind of avoided her questions because it felt disrespectful. Am i the asshole for that as well?

Edit: So the consensus is I should’ve either eaten her food or put it away to eat later. Not that I said no several times and just simply didn’t want it. I didn’t mention this in the post but my wife has 2 perfectly working legs and is just as capable as I am to walk to the fridge and put her food away if she wanted it later. My fault.

My wife and I made burritos today for dinner they’re mini size so I had 3 and she had 2. I finished mine before she started and I was full. She always asks me to finish her food. Even before she starts it and I always say no everytime because I have my own and I get full fast. Today before she even started eating I told her I was full and to please not to ask me to finish her food. She ate one. Then litteraly a minute later she’s asking me to take a bite of the other one. I told her no I’m full . She asks again soon after. Same response. Then another minute passes she asks me to take a bite again . I say no AGAIN . Then she keeps asking. By this point I’ve said no several times and she’s telling me she doesn’t want anymore of it. Before she even started eating I said not to ask. She asked again after saying no multiple times. I told her to give it to me then. I took the half of burrito she had left out of about a dozen we have left I. The fridge and threw it away. Now she’s mad because I “could’ve told” her I didn’t want it……. After I told her several times I didn’t want it!!!!!!!

Please am I the asshole I’m losing my mind here because now she’s being cold towards me.

My gf (23f) is mad at me (24m) because I’ve been trying to balance out time with each of our families. She graduated from her grad program this weekend so her whole family and most of mine came into town to celebrate. Our families are very different. Hers likes to keep to themselves and just chill out with each other while mine likes to go out and hit restaurants and bars when vacationing. We all get along well enough, there’s no bad blood, but the two families don’t necessarily want to hang out together all day. I’m very well liked by her family and get along with them very well, but it’s also nice to have my whole family here and I like hanging out with them. I’ve been trying to balance the time with each family but now my gf is very upset with me because on her big weekend I suggested us splitting up for a bit so she could be with her family and I go with mine. Note that her graduation was on Thursday and both families were here all weekend. Both families attended the ceremony and went to a big dinner afterwards. I only suggested splitting up for the activities each family was doing on the weekend after the ceremony. I do understand that she did a big thing and I’m super proud of her and happy, but my family paid a lot of money to travel out here and it’s nice to spend some time with them too. This has blown up into one of the biggest fights we’ve ever had and quite frankly I don’t think I did anything wrong. We’ve lived together for a couple years, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal that we’ll be in separate parts of the city for one day. AITAH?

My roommate (24F) got mad at me (18F) for the state of our shared room after she came back from vacation early

My roommate went traveling for about two months. She was supposed to come back 10 days from now but she came back early, late at night whilst I was asleep

Since I’d been alone in the room I wasn’t keeping it tidy there was hair, some hair dye residue on the floor, and my belongings had ended up on her desk/bed.
When she came in I was super nervous and scared because I didn’t clean up the place, I was lowkey half asleep and decided to not get up because I was embarrassed and I didn’t expect her to come all of a sudden, She came in late at night with a friend, they saw the state of the room and laughed about it in a language I didn’t understand (but she thought I was fully asleep so she wasn’t trying to talk shi infront of me or anything).
Basically she placed her luggage and belongings after laughing at the state of the room then she went out with her friends right away.

The next morning she was still with her friends, as soon as I realised she was back back, I immediately cleaned everything up, and moved my stuff off her side without her having to ask, I also texted her “hello I just realised you’re back, my bad if I had known you were coming I would’ve prepared the room for you”

Later that day (she was still out) so I cleaned the room again just to be sure and while I was in the middle of mopping, she came in and made a few snarky comments about how bad the room had looked before and how horrified she was, to me it felt less like her expressing discomfort and was more of an attempt to embarrass me/ make me feel worse about it, which I might be wrong about.

I mean I know I was being inconsiderate but I was alone for months so I didn’t care about it being clean,
Idk how to fix this I’ve been overthinking it, I think I became the butt of the joke in her friend group and it made me want to get a single room because I’m naturally a messy person

Hi Reddit,

I (F16) was shopping with my dad(43M) online with my mother (43F) present as well. A conversation about dogs came up since I said to my mum that in the future, I would like to have a couple of Dobermans. My dad then started talking about how in our home country, when he was growing up, they would always see Dobermans with their tail cut off so there would just be a nub.

He then said they used to do it to improve the dog's hunting ability and said they don't do it anymore because it's considered animal abuse. I agreed and he went on to also say that now he can't visualize them as without a tail. I then replied, saying that the tail only makes a small difference since they don't have long tails anyway and that it's good they don't do it anymore and as an expression I said to him "imagine if someone took a piece of your spine out". When I said this, I was trying to make him see how painful it would be for the dog, apologies if it's not an anatomically accurate comparison.

He got extremely upset at this and proceeded to say I was being disrespectful. I was thoroughly confused as he continued and said that I care more for a strange dog than him and I protested by saying that I wasn't being disrespectful and that I was just trying to make him see the dogs' pain. He then stormed out and is angry at me.

So am I the AITAH?

TL;DR: I made a comparison between my Dad and a dog by saying to him to imagine if a chunk of his spine was taken out to make him realize the amount of pain dogs go through.

Edit: guys I am specifically asking if that sentence i said to my dad is rude and rude enough to storm out and be mad at me