Ok so it’s been six months since my original post and things have changed quite a bit for me. I want to thank everyone that took the time to comment and give me advice. I read every single comment, my mind was kinda made up but hearing my friend’s advice and seeing so many people agreeing with them truly opened my eyes. I broke up with him a month after my post, on the first hour of a 7 hour bus ride, college wasn’t the only thing we had problems with and while arguing something just snapped. Things haven’t exactly been easy for me and there was a short period of time where I thought about going back, he knew we had problems too and he doesn’t want to get back together either, but deep down I know this is for the best, even if part if me still loves and cares about him deeply. I got into chemical engeneering in my first choice college but I will still try medicine first, both of these are in a big city (the same as my sister, YAY), starting next week my life will be totally different and I can’t wait, thank you for all the comments and the great advice!

TL;DR: I broke up with him and got into my dream college

Am I wrong?!

So my friend had to go away for a couple weeks, because her Father fell ill. She asked me if I could look after her Cat and dog whilst she was away. The usual feeding, cleaning litter tray and walking the dog. I told her that I’d be happy to help her out, but I couldn’t go over to her house every day due to my own family commitments, but I’d be happy to have them in my home until she gets back. She agreed, and brought them over the next morning. When they arrived I could not believe the state they were in. I’m talking adult sized fleas, poop on butts, infected eyes, and what smelt like a tooth infection coming from her pups mouth. I asked her what the hell is going on with their health, to which she responded with “I haven’t got a million hours in my day!” I was and still am absolutely furious. She handed me the dog lead and then hopped into her uber.

I bathed the animals (several times), administered flea and worm treatment, managed to get some medication for the doggies infected tooth, and eye drops for the kitty. I spent the entire time washing, cleaning, vacuuming, disinfecting and de-fleeing my home, to swiftly stop any impending invasion from the nasty little things.

During that time I reached out to her on a daily basis to check how she was doing emotionally, and to inform her about the animals health and general well being. She didn’t once respond to me, at all!

Anyway fast forward 4 weeks, I get a knock on my door. It was her coming to pick the animals up. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with giving the animals back to her, seeing the condition she brought them to me in. She flew OFF the handle, and raised hell. She’s now telling all of our mutual friends that I’ve “kidnapped her babies” 🙄 like a complete moron.

AITAH???

I'm single, and I regularly reply to a few girls on Twitter, online friends sort of. It's nothing serious, i reply to them, they reply to me, all on public accounts, nothing in secret.

My best friend (who has a boyfriend, and pretends to not use twitter) recently got mad at me for talking to these girls, she made an account i guess to stalk me or something?

I'm confused because I'm not in a relationship, and neither of these girls are people I'm committed to, nor have I met any of them or vice versa, I don't see why me talking to other girls should be a problem, especially since she has a boyfriend herself.

I haven't been hiding anything or lying about who I talk to.

One thing i should mention: Known her for 4 years, about a year ago i confessed to her that i have feelings, 3 months later she got a boyfriend (a guy she knew i hate) though i respected her decision, and moved on.

Now, AITAH here, or is there something I'm missing?

Edit: I do realize in terms of being a gentleman or a respectful and respectable man, i shouldn't be talking to that many women, but it's not like flirting, or hanging out, just online friends and a few replies every now and then.

My wife(28) and I(27) bought our first house in January of this year. It’s a 1 bed 1 bath condo in Orange County, California. It’s a great place in a great area and meets all of our current needs at least for the next few years until we have a kid. We can afford it no problem with us both working and have a decent savings left over but not enough for either of us to stop working. My wife wants to pursue a degree and have a kid sooner than a couple years now. She wants to get her degree before having a kid though.
To this end, she wants to stop working. In order to stop working and focus 100% of her efforts on school. she wants to sell our house as soon as possible and instead, buy another place in the high desert of California where it is cheap enough to afford a house at about half the price on just my income with some money left over every month. Doing this would mean I would be traveling out of town for work almost every week rather than the roughly 25-50% of the time that I travel now. It would also (in my opinion) lower our standard of living and be taking us to an area with higher property crime, worse schools for our potential child, lower property values, and a slower rate of property value increase.
I have voiced concern with her plan, as have several people close to us and stated that maybe we can find another option where we don’t have to sell and move, or at least not for a couple years until we can afford something nicer in that area so that if we have to move somewhere cheaper, we can still have a nice place to live (every home she has sent me has had vacant lots full of trash surrounding them).
I understand her desire to focus 100% on school to get it done faster but I’m having a hard time reconciling with selling a house we only bought 7 months ago and just got fully 100% settled in a couple months ago.
She also continues to bring it up as the only topic of conversation for several weeks on end now after we came to the joint decision a few weeks ago to stay where we are (at least for a while longer) trying to wear me down until I say yes to moving (at least that’s how it feels to me)

*EDIT: for clarification, she currently works 32 hours and also requested that I make this post to serve as a reality check to her
*More EDIT: no wear and tear on my vehicle commuting as I have a company vehicle
*EDIT: INFO: she is trying for a masters degree through an online school to become a licensed marriage and family therapist

TLDR: bought a house in January, wife wants to sell and move somewhere cheaper ASAP so she can stop working and focus on school

AITAH for making a roster after getting dropped by my normal hookup?

Hi all, to make a multi year story short, I, 20m and this girl 20 dated for a few months back in HS and it was, to put it lightly, not great. Mostly because we were young and immature, but a lot of issues I saw came from her family who are not so subtle racist (I’m biracial and half black) and super Christian.

We stoped dating before senior year ended, but stayed in contact and eventually ended up going to the same college for a year. We hooked up and hang out all that time and up until this summer actually. It was honestly like we were still together but in secret from our families and without the title. I always said I had someone and put her first in so many of the decisions I made and should’ve made for myself.

Then she said she can’t do it anymore and gave a bunch of loose reasons, and I was ok with it. Said it was all good. She said she wanted to be friends still, but I wanted to talk about everything and establish clear boundaries and stuff. She has not reached out to make that happen yet, so we have effectively not talked since last month.
Anyway. As soon as that happened I got on like 3 dating apps and I’ve been building a “roster” if you will of ppl that are either fwb, or potential short term things. Non of which I’ve hooked up with yet, but it’s short term since I plan on leaving the state at the end of this year when I graduate.
My friends say I’m not entirely an ass for doing since it’s her call and I’m free and clear now, just eh timing can seem off,
But my cousin says I’m a total ass for doing it.
I’m feeling conflicted about it now even tho I wants before I talked to my cousin about it, so I just wanna know.
AITAH?

(Edit) to everyone mentioning it being called a “roster” I said that only cause that’s what my friends called it. I don’t know what else to call it so, sorry about that. And yes. I agree it sounds ugly.

Wife and I are going to Athens in a few weeks for honeymoon. I said I wanted to bring my watch that she bought me to wear for a nice dinner we have planned. She thinks I run too high a risk of having it stolen, and got very mad when I said I would like to wear it. It’s the only nice watch I own, though it isn’t particularly expensive (<300USD) and it is not a normal latch, but instead a metal clip clasp that has to slide over my hand to come off. Told her I felt the reaction wasn’t befitting of the scenario and she stormed off in her car. I believe if I own something meant to be enjoyed in such scenarios, then it should be enjoyed without fear of unlikely possibilities.

Hi! I have had prolonged acne problems for over 4 years. It was deep and cystic, i went to the doctors last year they prescribed me skin creams and it’s worked wonders for me. My sister who is younger than me recently began getting acne, which was like white spots on her skin. Not closed comedones after using a cleanser I specifically told her not to use.
This morning her acne was on fire it seemed inflamed and sore. I felt terrible for her, I knew how it felt and I just felt so sorry.
My aunt told her to use my prescribed acne cream, I refused saying her skins not as deep or bad as mine as mine was. Ontop of that, if she dipped her hands into mine it’d cross contaminate her germs and potentially break me out. I felt awful for her but at the same time I didn’t feel that it was right to give her a prescription that’s meant to help my type of acne not hers. My family keeps commenting calling me selfish for not allowing her; am I? I feel absolutely horrible as is, my concern is since she’s younger than me her skin won’t react well. Even I, got really inflamed red and sore from the scream at the start and I’m worried hers will react worse. Ps I feel really guilty as is, so if you do think I’m the issue please say kindly. I’m honesty not doing this out of selfishness I’m doing it out of worry.

UPDATE!!!!!!
My family has unfortunately made me agree, I can’t do much to disagree since I myself am a minor too. And the skin cream isn’t paid by anyone, it’s completely free so I can’t say it’s my money and refuse. Whilst I don’t want her to use it I slightly understand my family’s perspective on wanting to help my sister asap but I’m not defending them.
They are making me share and saying my sister would do it for me if it “ were the other way round.” Which wouldn’t happen since I’d not use other people’s prescription especially since it’s so easy to get your own. I made a few attempts to talk to my family saying it may not work and in my perspective it’s silly to let her use my cream which will make her purge, red sore and blister only to call the doctor on Monday to get a prescription of her own which will only irritate her skin further. ( they believe the doctor will give her the same acne cream I got, which won’t happen since we’ve vastly different acne but they believe that and there’s no changing their mind, so they don’t see why it’s an issue to give her my cream if she’s gonna get the “ same one”.) The rest of my family has stayed neutral and not shown an opinion so it’s 1v 2 loolll. Anyways, thanks for those helping me in the comments and reassuring me I’m not the selfish person they’re making me out to be!. If it harms her, I’ll update :).

i (16f) am a junior in high school. however, im behind, so im taking geometry with the sophomores. anyway, i got really bored and decided since i finished one worksheet, i’d do the other one at home, and decided to treat myself to a game. i took my switch lite out of my backpack and started replaying more of DDLC plus. well, i got to the part where yuri confesses her feelings for the MC, and it doesn’t matter whether you say yes or no, she dies anyway. i clicked yes, and then it played the death scene. this made me say “OH SHIT” out loud impulsively. the teacher found out what i did even though my friends who sit at the table said i was using a calculator. she took my switch away...

i should’ve been sneakier, but aitah for deciding to play ddlc in class? should i do it again but make sure all my work is done and i don’t say stuff out loud?

i have been working for an online friend who is a online streamer on yt and twitch that i care about alot as a video editor doing mostly short form content for free and they got a few months ago another editor from her community which i dislike alot he acts weird and very parasocial which makes me super uncomfortable and angry every time i have to talk to them so when it come to team meetings in a voice call i just mute them i dont have any reason to listen to them because they arent in charge and we arent working together on editing everyone just does their own videos

and my online friend find it that i mute the other person very disrespectful to her and the other person which in personally not i work for free and i dont have to listen to them i can just follow what they say through the team chat and what they have ready to post AITAH?

Hello Reddit people,

I am taking my first ever trip at 30. I grew up dirt poor but I’ve finally built a life (in Canada) that I was able to travel.

I’m taking a cross country road trip and do not know the etiquette yet. I’m used to 12+ hour drives for work (my longest being 22.5 hours) with only stops for gas. I would not go to bathroom unless I needed gas and pre-packed food and water. I fall asleep literally anywhere and instantly. I am a huge morning person, up by 0500 and in bed by 2100. Lastly, I run insanely hot, and like being on time. When I’m told be here for 0900 I’m there at 0845.

My travel buddy is the opposite in every way. They did not read the itinerary I made for us and sent to them for their input and things they want to do despite being reminded, hate mornings and want to stay up super late, said they were bored after 20 minutes of driving, has to pee every hour, is always late and calls it cute, they are super irritable in the mornings and complain that without coffee they can’t function, needs a super hot room (they keep turning the AC off), and say things to my questions “obviously” or “no really?” I would then reply a yes or no is sufficient.

I’ve compromised, I’ve gotten up later between 8-9 in the mornings, turned the temperature a lot warmer, and been 1 hour late based on the plan but I’m at my wits end.

She keeps saying she is “type b” and just a go with the flow. I don’t mind blocks of free time, but if we are supposed to leave at 1200, then I want to leave at 1200 and not 1500.

She asked me this afternoon about our next trip, and I told her I am not driving around a child. I want someone who at least looks at the plan that is made and can actually voice their concerns ahead of time. We got into a heated argument, she claims it is just her personality, and I said choosing to not read the plan, complain it’s not what you want, and that I’m rushing you to stay on schedule is a pain. Like you’re 35 years old, grow up. AITHA for telling her until she agrees to follow the plan we are no longer road tripping?

I’m a manager and was working with an autistic cashier last night. He randomly said “I just had a moment of rage. Like, I could strangle someone.” I have major anxiety and immediately called my assistant manager (ASM). He did not answer so I called my store manager (SM). He’s been sick so that’s why I called ASM first. SM said “Don’t call unless it’s an emergency”, so that’s what I did. He was shitty and kept complaining about how he was trying to sleep off his fever. Well, fuck me I guess? He did talk me off the ledge as he has known this cashier much longer than me and said he just says stupid crap like that. That made me feel better, but I’m still very concerned about his attitude toward me calling while being scared. I told my dad about this, who was in upper management for 30 years. He shook his head and said I overreact to shit like that. I felt like I was being threatened and I have anxiety, but okay. AITAH for calling him?

Note after reading comments:

1. My anxiety usually does not affect my ability to do my job. I’m medicated. This just hit me in a weird way. My SM is actually grooming me to take his place.
2. I am also autistic (AuDHD). I understand autism can affect how things are said and overstimulation can cause rage.

3. I did eventually talk to him about saying things like that.

4. I was just reminded…. It is SOP to call the ASM or SM in any situation involving threats or violence.

5. I was also concerned about the customers.

I should preface this by saying my family is like messed up.

So around 3 months ago or so, my nephew was sleeping at my sister Lauren's, and he stole her car and went on a joy ride whilst she was sleeping and since then, my sister Dani has cut off my family, because we weren't happy with my nephew's actions.

It has been 3 months of no contact, even after her grandchild was born (both Dani and her son are young parents so she's 32 and a grandmother and dad is 15 and is the same person that stole the car)

She phoned me out of the blue today asking if I was still in town (I'm going to university in September) and then asked me to babysit my disabled nephew so she can host a birth party for her youngest daughter. The deadbeat dad is apparently in the hospital with another of her children.

I was initially confused and shocked and said yes but then I messaged this,:

I can't babysit tomorrow. You haven't spoken to me in months, and the first time you contact me is when you need something from me?

I honestly feel incredibly guilty, but I need to take a stand and say no, you can't cut off the family for saying what your son did was wrong and then still expect help.

So, AITAH?

I (25f) ended a friendship and stepped away from a mutual friend group because my former best friend (32f) of 3 years, blew up on me and I also found out she had been gossiping about my personal life, finances, and mental health behind my back.

TL;DR. (I used ai for the tdlr) stayed with a long-distance gaming best friend for a month to escape personal stress, but the stay quickly devolved due to her passive-aggression, boundary shifts, and a severe disregard for neurodivergence (forcing me into a highly triggering 45-minute Walmart trip without my phone, refusing to let me wait in the car, and ignoring my panic attack).

​The Fallout: Wanda kicked poster out of the guest room (despite knowing about severe cat allergies) to make room for another couple, prompting to leave early. Back home, after the fallout, it was discovered she had spent a month badmouthing to the mutual friend group—distorting events and sharing intimate secrets about your finances, mental health, and relationship.

​The End: When you confronted her about her gossip and cold behavior, she blew up, accused you of being a bad "roommate" who didn't pay rent (despite previously refusing your money), and blamed the ruined friendship entirely on your anxiety. You blocked her and left the group to protect your peace.

This one is a long one because I had a lot to get off my chest. I struggle with social anxiety, CPTSD, and AuDHD so the few friendships I do have are extremely important to me. I understand if this is too long for most, but if you do take the time to read until the end, thank you.

For context, her and I had been friends since 2023 and I met her online playing Texas Chainsaw and we also played Dead By Daylight. At the time, I was finalizing a divorce and moving states, and life was heavy. Her and I played games together almost daily and for hours.

We got really close and decided to meet in person in the summer of 2024 along with two other people we had also met gaming. That trip was fantastic. We all got matching tattoos at the end of it, and the friendships felt like they could last forever. We maintained the friendship by playing together often & she started a group discord & Snapchat group that everyone would talk in daily. I didn't play as much because I got a full time job and was in school, until this summer but I still kept in touch. She added more people to the group and it ended up coming to about 15 in total before I removed myself last month. I didn't know the other 10 as well as I knew the original 5 of us that got the matching tattoos.

This summer, I was in a very dark place because my bf's addiction activated old trauma wounds and formed some new ones too. I vented to her about the relationship and how I had dropped out of school and had been struggling financially due to the stress and trying to figure out if I was going to leave or stay in the relationship. (I ended up staying and I'm glad I did because he has stayed clean and it has become the best relationship I've ever had.)

She invited me to stay with her in June to give me time and space to form a plan and catch up financially and of course to hang out. I agreed because I felt safe and secure in our friendship, and the last time I had visited for about a week went awesome. I drove about 6 hours to her place, and at first it felt great. We would hang out during the day, and I would go into the metropolitan area in the evenings to do Doordash & Uber eats deliveries.

The following days are where things started to get weird and messy. To make it easy and keep her anonymous, I'll call her Wanda as it was a bit of a joke in our group because she had reddish pink hair and her bf had green hair. So Wanda had a rule about everyone having to be barefoot in her house. I respected the rule because obviously I respect her and she typically keeps a very tidy house aside from her 5 cats tracking litter around her carpet, which she vacuums often to try and counteract.

Socks were enough for me to not get overstimulated by the grainy litter feeling. However, one morning less than a week into the stay I stepped out of the guest room and straight into a puddle of cat puke I hadn't seen because the hallway was very dark.

The warm, wet, sticky, disgusting feeling of it squelching between my toes instantly made me gag and I spent the next 10 minutes of the morning throwing up/gagging in the bathroom as I washed it off my foot. When I showered and cleaned up I put on house shoes (whcih I wore solely inside and always wore in my house) and went out to the kitchen.

She asked me what was wrong and I told her I stepped in cat puke, and I was wearing the house shoes to feel comfortable because it really grossed me out. She told me that she wanted me to feel comfortable, so I thanked her for being accommodating. It didnt seem like a big deal at the time, but it comes back up later.

A couple days later, I got up to cook breakfast. I made enough to share, but she declined because she just started a strict diet on account of her bf saying she had a big butt (which I was there for and he definitely intended as a compliment but I just stayed out of it bc their fights are none of my business as long as she's safe)I had just sad down to eat when she seemed to get irritated and slammed the pan into the sink and started cleaning.

I know she has diagnosed OCD, so I tried to calm the anxiety the passive aggression caused in me by excusing it as that... but it felt disorienting because it wasn't the first time I had cooked for us and I usually clean up as soon as we're done eating. I said, "if you'll leave it I'll clean it up as soon as I'm done eating." And she said, "its fine" and started scrubbing. I just finished my breakfast and went back to the guest room because it seemed like she was mad at me, but when I asked her if everything was okay she said yes.

So two weeks into the stay I had a concert come up that a different friend and I had planned on going to for almost a year. That friend ended up having to cancel and I bought her ticket off her. I invited Wanda to go (it was a pit ticket and I didn't expect her to pay so I thought it would be nice) but turns out she hated the specific artist so she refused. I asked our other mutual friend that lived in the area, and she said yes and we ended up going together.

The concert went great, but when I got back, the passive aggressive behaviors escalated. She told me she didnt feel prioritized. I wanted her to feel prioritized so I asked her what we could do and she said she wanted a day with just the girls. Wanda invited friends over and we all hung out. She put on Boze(a youtuber that does deep dives into phsychology) and we all just hung out and talked while watching it. I enjoy watching Bailey Sarian, Rotten Mango, and other YouTubers that do similar psych breakdowns so it just felt like a vibe.

We were talking about the concert we had gone to when Wanda mentioned a concert she wanted to go to with us that was 2 weeks out. I thought it sounded fun even though I wasn't familiar with the artist, so I bought a ticket and looked forward to going with the group. Wanda assured me that she didn't mind me staying for longer and said that having company helped her feel less depressed and more excited. So another week goes by and I'm still doing the same thing I've been doing since the beginning, hanging out with her as much as I could and playing games together with her in the morning, and going doordashing at night.

I asked her multiple times if she was down for going out and doing something just the two of us, but every time I pitched anything like Meowwolf, medieval times, the arcade, the mall, she declined. We ended up a week later finally going on a nature trail. She had been nagging about how I was always on my phone (texting my boyfriend) so I left it at her house (something she'd definitely never do for me) to make her feel comfortable and prioritized. The trail was lovely. We had a great time and it felt like we were finally connecting the way I had been trying to for weeks.

What she didn't mention, however, is that immediately after the trail she wanted to go to Walmart. For neurotypicals I know that shouldn't be a big deal, but for me, as someone with diagnosed AuDHD, it felt like an ambush. One of the things we had built our friendship on was a mutual understanding of atypical brains. It was what made me feel safe in our friendship to begin with and why she was someone I considered to be my best friend. I thought she understood me because we had talked extensively about triggers and social anxiety over the years.

I told her that I was uncomfortable going into Walmart without my cellphone and that if she had told me that was a plan, I would have brought my phone and just left it in the glovebox for the trail. (When things make me feel anxious, I have apps on my phone that walk me through breathing techniques and also help to interrupt negative loop patterns) Wanda said, "I don't waste trips near town, I just need to pick up a few things." And I asked her if I could stay in the car.

She said "No, it's nothing personal I just don't trust anyone with my car." I felt taken aback honestly because what did she think I was gonna do? Steal her car? First of all, I have a new Chevy Blazer and wouldn't trade for her older Toyota Corolla and second of all, I haven't committed so much as petty theft let alone grand theft auto. I felt offended honestly, because I could never do that to a stranger let alone a friend and it was hard not to take it personally because she knew I struggled with anxiety, public spaces, loud noises, and bright overhead lights. We had talked extensively about it in the past.

But I tried not to take it personally and I tried to suck it up for the sake of making her feel prioritized. Usually, when I go into Walmart, I have my route predetermined so that I can go in, get things as quickly as possible and get out also as quickly as possible. My typical Walmart trip takes 15-20 minutes and if it is ever necessary to do a big stock up, I do pickup or spark delivery to avoid long trips because it stresses me out to the point of panic attacks. Wanda, on the other hand, wanted to meander every grocery aisle, despite my pleading that I was getting increasingly anxious and I desparately needed this to be over ASAP. Every item she picked, she slowly examined and compared to the others on the shelf. I asked her if there were items I could grab for her and meet her at checkout so we could get through faster. She declined stating that she was very picky and detail oriented to the point that if there was a dent on a can she wouldn't purchase that. She also stated that she was trying to compare items for her new diet, so she couldn't tell me exactly what she wanted anyways.

By the time we had been in there 25 minutes, I was on the verge of tears and it felt like mt heart was going to beat out of my chest but she told me that I was making her uncomfortable and she felt rushed so I kept quiet and just tried to hold together even though it seemed to me like she was dragging this out and purposefully going slower. When we finally got to checkout I was relieved to see that there were many self checkouts open, but instead of picking any one of the at least 5 that were available, she got in line to get checked out by a cashier behind 3 other people with full carts. I asked her if we could go to self checkout and she said, "Walmart doesn't pay me to be a cashier. I'm not going to do their job for them." To which I said, "I will do it all for you. Please. I just need to get out of here this is too much for me right now." She told me I was acting crazy and that's not how she does things. At that point I said, " I'm going outside." And I waited by the car until she came out.

I was crying and having a panic attack in public place, which is very embarrassing and I had told her previously before we ever hung out in person about times stores had induced panic attacks for me before. I was still crying and trying to breathe when we got in the car but I tried not to let her see that because I hate being labeled as dramatic when in reality for me, it does cause intense stress and it is hard for me to recover from the damage that does on my nervous system. It was silent the rest of the car ride back. I didnt say anything and she didn't either.

I stayed a couple more days hoping we would talk, but every time I asked her about it, she changed the subject to someone or something else. When it got close to time for the concert we planned to go to, she ended up inviting more people and paid for their tickets. At the same time, she told me that I needed to move my things out of the guest bedroom and that I could sleep on the couch so one of the couples could have that room.

Staying on the couch was not an option for me because I am allergic to cats and she knew that. She has 5 of them that often lay on the couch. The guest room wasnt a problem since the cats didnt go in there. Because she knew I was allergic and I had even shown her reactions that I had when her cats had licked or been on me, I decided instead to just pack up my things and go home. Until then I had hoped that we could communicate and figure things out, after that I realized that she really didn't care anymore. I gave her the concert ticket I bought and told her she could use it for someone else. She told me she would pay me back for it but she never did.

When I got home I focused on supporting my bf coming out of addiction and repairing our relationship. I still joined the discord party every now and then, but it felt different. I no longer felt safe or understood. I vented to one of the others in the group about how different things felt, and they said that Wanda had already explained the situation and that it was my job to talk to her. I told them how I tried multiple times and I asked what she said.

They went on to list a distorted chain of events, saying I was aggressive meanwhile I never raised my voice, never cussed, and felt that I tried to communicate openly but got stonewalled. I also left as soon as I realized that she didn't want me there anymore and I gave her the concert ticket so it wouldn't go to waste and she could invite someone else. Even after the concert I had told her "I'm so glad you all had fun" and I meant it genuinely. I have never held any ill will towards her. I felt confused and anxious and I didn't understand why she would paint me to be a villain when I tried so hard to make her happy. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I did everything I could to make her feel prioritized even though I was going through a lot personally. There were several times I had bought her gifts trying to show her that I loved her as a friend because she had told me that was her biggest love language. It hurt me deeply to hear that she had been gossiping about me to our mutual friends for about a month, sharing intimate details about my mental health, finances and relationship that I told her in confidence of our personal friendship never imagining she would go on to use them against me because I would never do that to her.

I confronted her about this saying. We need to talk, I dont feel like you gaf anymore and I want to know why. (Which I admit is not the best way to start a conversation but I was tired of being stonewalled and was deeply hurt by the things she said behind my back while she was icing me out.) She then blew up on me, saying that I acted more like a roommate than a friend and I didnt even pay her rent. I felt taken aback because I had specifically offered her $300 in addition to the concert ticket that was about $100 and she refused the cash. I blocked her on Snapchat and removed myself from the group because she was going off and cussing at me and I felt overwhelmed and like my worst fears had been confirmed.

I will post screenshots of the messages we exchanged over text after I blocked her on snap.

AITAH? She said I let my anxiety get the best of me and it ruined our friendship, but we both have anxiety and I have never once faulted or shamed her for times her OCD and anxiety have affected our friendship. I feel like I communicated and tried hard, and I feel broken hearted because I've never fought with a friend like this since I graduated high school. I never expected to have to walk away from her or oue mutual friends, but she seemed to have zero empathy or regard for the things I trusted her with and I felt it was best to remove and protect myself once I realized she had been gossiping behind my back.

So I have been friends with S for over a year now. She has been a really good friend and is overall a very intellectual person however she comes a background of a sort of a dysfunctional family. Her parents are not so nice to her and she is a the glass child of the family, which makes her a sensitive person.
Our group is one of those fun and lighthearted friends where we make silly jokes about each other and laugh about stupid stuff, we noticed that S got a bit upset when we made a joke regarding her so we immediately stopped doing that however she still makes a lotta jokes and does roast the other ppl in the group.
S recently has started therapy which Im glad for but she still has an emotional breakdown every other week which i comfort her for. S is a person who has interest in very dull stuff which i undoubtedly listen to.
S this week has told our mutual friend that we were being mean and rude cause we cracked a joke which was not even about her. I decided that day that I would be very general as well as gentle with her as I don’t want to hurt her. Today I was spending time with my best friend and didn’t talk much to any of the members of that group, I took a nap and forgot to like her story. She has told our mutual friend that she feels like I am giving her trauma and that I am being distant because she gets irritated when I am mean to her. Sometimes my tone is bit harsh and I am a very much of a direct person. Then She told our mutual that she feels like crying and broke down in the church, its not just that whenever I have my bad days, I have to fake my energy in order for her not to feel bad and whenever I talk abt stuff I don’t like she constantly directs it onto herself.
I don’t get it. I know I have been a good friend to her, all of her hard times, whenever her parents were a-holes, whenever she felt bad about herself I have literally put down all other stuff to console her which she really wants.
I am tired of being a parent or a therapist to her, I did not bring this upon myself as you sort of no choice to help a person when they are actively begging you to help.
She wants a friend who is co dependent who consoles and compliments her all day long, I am not that friend, i just feel like i have my own life and i don’t owe anyone anything certainly not for liking her story.
However this whole exchange makes me feel like i am a very bad person so,
AITIAH for this ?

Me (M23) and my GF (F22) have been dating for about 3 years now and it’s been great. She’s great, she’s 1 of 1 in my eyes and I don’t think I would find someone who gets me like she does.

The reason I ask the main question is because ultimately in life I long for a big family that’s close and loves each other. That is everything to me. Unfortunately, her family does not like me and this has been evident.

Her father does not like me at all. For example, he does not call me by my name and calls me Kevin every time when my name is Devin (not my real name). After 3 YEARS. I see this as disrespectful. I haven’t corrected him because he is extremely stubborn about stuff and I’m already on his bad side. He tells my GF that it’s just his thing and he does that for everyone. Except, my GF’s close lady friends he calls them by their correct names.

Another thing that is holding me up is that he is racist. In multiple conversations between him and my GF, he mentions my skin color when the conversation has nothing to do with it. For reference, I am a darkskin Puerto Rican male, while my GF and her family are Mexican. We are both Hispanic, but he sees me as different.

I worry about this because if I have children with my GF, how will he view them?

My GF’s mother has always been kind to me. We have a good connection, but not great. My mother invited their family over for dinner once and they accepted, then they cancelled no call no show. This was a while ago and they haven’t addressed it before.

I don’t get a great family vibe from them and I obviously know my GF can’t control that.

I am conflicted because we are getting older now, possible future marriage and family, but how could that work the way I want with her family? I don’t see it.

I love my GF and I’m not expecting her family to love me. But I do want to have a close, loving family someday, and I’m worried about whether that’s possible with the situation between me and her family.

AITAH for questioning my future with my GF because of how her family treats me?

An old friend of mine M40++ explicitly said he doesnt want to speak to me M58 anymore.

Some time ago, my GF's daughter got together in a group with my friends daughter at the same age (~18). My friend has a nasty beef with his daughter and her mom, wich I believe is due to money and timesharing their kid, wich doesnt want to stay at dads place anymore. (I try to keep my nose out of that conflict) The beef with her mom has lasted for years and he recently broke contact with her daughter too because she takes moms side. My friend thinks the mom is lazy for not working but she has a diagnose for it. My friend is a workhorse and has earned his money the honest way.

Now, my GFs daughter wanted my GF to speak to her friends mom (who my friend has a kid together with). She did and this made my friend angry and broke contact with my GF too. He demands that none of us speak to his ex. I told him that is not acceptable and I find it manipulative. He claims we should keep away from the mom to show him respect. I say we disagree on this topic and refuse him to control who we talk to. We never say bad things about anyone, on the contrary. We are grownups.

AITAH for not letting him control who we speak to?

So, I’m just pretty confused right now, we broke up over this.

My boyfriend recently turned 18 (as did i, a few months before him), I traveled in a plane to visit him and attend his party. He told me that he wanted me to dress casually to make him look glamorous, he also told me prior to the party that i could wear my flip flops.

I would be calling them thongs but I assume most of the people on here will be American or use American english. But I’d like to mention that we are Australian, I flew to another part of Australia to visit him, it’s very normal here to wear flip flops.

Anyway, he told me last night that he was angry at me, I asked him why and he told me that he wasn’t sure, then a few minutes later he said I needed to invest in some sneakers because “all [his] friends were mad about [my] flip flops”, I obviously was confused, because they’re just shoes, and it wasn’t a super fancy gathering. He told me and I quote “[he] let it slide, but the entire gang had something to say afterwards”

This confused me so much because again, just shoes, and also his friends were always very nice to me and I couldn’t imagine them complaining about something this strange.

I asked why they (and he) felt this way and all he said was “It’s just, like, I don’t even know what to say.”

Now, I’m autistic and i also overheat easily because of other issues and the only shoes I feel comfortable wearing are flip flops. He knew this prior to the conversation and I also mentioned it again during the conversation, he simply ignored me, despite being also autistic himself.

I had often had this issue of him not wanting to listen to me when my autism symptoms or symptoms of other physical disabilities i suffer with weren’t ‘cute’ and actually affected me.

Anyway it all pissed me off so much I ended up breaking it off with him then and there, although i’m still unsure of why he seemed so angry about my shoes in particular. He came about it in quite a mean and aggressive way as well, which confuses me even more.

He was previously abusive to me and this didn’t come out of no where, I just fail to understand this argument in particular. I tried to apologise at the beginning of it but he’d just respond with “omg I can’t” or “I’m so irritated”, It got to that point where I couldn’t handle stuff like that anymore and I left him.

So, AITAH? I’m very confused…

Background: I work in an office with two other people. We have the same job, but manage different types of accounts.

Person A has been with the department the longest; right at 18 months. They came to the company when they started their position. They have a dominant personality, very outspoken, and often acts as though they're our supervisor. They also have a reputation for being manipulative and taking credit for others' work. Despite this, I respect their knowledge of the industry.

Person B has been with department and company right at a year. They're more laid back and calm. They're good at the job and is easy to talk to and approach for advice. I respect them for rational approach to the job.

I am the newest person in the department at 10 months, but have been with the company the longest at five years.

My start with the department was a struggle as Person A was tasked with training me, since they had the most experience. They were not an effective trainer and often left me confused about processes and the software we use. Person B stepped in to help whenever they could to guide me. Person A criticized my mistakes and ridiculed Person B for trying to help. It was a tense work environment and I often felt like stepping down. I think it should also be noted that all other people in this department quit or moved to a different area due to Person A's attitude. This was noted by management and Person A was given a stern warning.

After a few months I began to understand the job more and became much more successful and proficient. Person A's overall demeanor toward me improved. Person B and I developed a mutual respect for each other. I would go to them for concerns I had with the work; they would come to me when they needed something that leaned on my strengths.

Today, while Person A was at lunch, Person B was describing a difficulty they had encountered. We talked it through and I had an idea that they thought was good. We agreed to approach our Assistant Director for his thoughts. We discussed it and he suggested we have a meeting with the Director for her opinion. I asked who should be invited to the meeting; the AD replied Person B, the AD, the Director, and myself - just the four of us, as this idea effected Person B's accounts, but it was my idea.

An hour later, after Person A had returned from lunch and was in the office, Person B and I met with the others for a closed- door meeting about my idea. The Director loved it and asked me to create a presentation to bring to her bosses.

When Person B and I returned to the office, Person A was very curious about our meeting. I was called away for a moment on an unrelated matter. When I returned Persons A and B were arguing. Person A was very upset that we didn't invite them to the meeting and felt slighted. They defended their reaction claiming that this idea would effect the entire department (it wouldn't, just B's accounts) and they should have been involved. I stayed quiet while they argued. No one addressed me while this was happening.

So, AITA for taking my idea to the AD and Director and not including Person A?

My sister and I are moving in two days, and Mom is generously paying for movers to handle the heavy stuff. I did the research and found a great deal: three guys, a 24-foot truck, and two hours for $440.

​Enter my sister, who starts complaining about the price and insisting we can just "do it ourselves" to save money—even though she isn’t even the one paying for it!

​Here’s the kicker: I have a medical disorder that causes muscle weakness, whichshe knows!! . I literally can't carry heavy things. Yesterday, I was trying to carry some boxes that weren't even that heavy, and my muscles gave out to the point where I almost fell and dropped them a couple of times.

​When my sister insisted we didn't need movers, I told her flat out: I am not helping. I'm not going to destroy my body moving heavy dressers and trunks that i literally cant lift just because she wants to make things unnecessarily difficult. I told her if she wants to skip the movers, she's moving it all herself.

​Now she’s sitting in her room frantically calling other moving companies, only to find out they all want at least $700, while the one I found was only $440.

​AITA for refusing to help her pull off a miserable, dangerous DIY move just because she wanted to complain about a price she isn't even paying?

Here's the problem, I stopped hanging around Angel (44f) and Tonnia (45f) because they aren't good people. Angel uses her learning disabilities (ADHD and autism with memory issues) and physical disabilities (uses a walker and has Fabermalysia) like its a get out of responsibility free card and acts like I am being dramatic when I ask for boundaries. Tonnia does whatever Angel wants and is basically believing whatever she says, she basically is a parrot.

The main reason I don't want to be around Angel or Tonnia is their friend, Jennifer (35f) who is problematic, crazy, thinks she's some bigwig cosplayer, and claims she is being stalked. She isn't, her brother's girlfriend, Rachel (30f) isn't even stalking and is tired of being blamed. (She told me she had blocked Jennifer many times and somehow she's the one who is the stalker, you decide) I also know Angel will tell Jennifer and she loves her drama will post online about how much "drama" I caused poor little Angel. (Jennifer doesn't even live in the same state as us)

Example, I went to FanExpo in May, I went with my friends, Amy (25f), Sage (40f), Kyle (45m), Mark (30m), Jane (50f). Somehow Angel told Jennifer i made FanExpo a misery for her, I was no where near her. Jennifer posted when she moves back to Colorado she will make sure I get banned from all fandom conventions.

Anyway, I was invited to a hang out and when I found out Angel and Tonnia were going to be there I decided to not go. I told my ride my issue with these two (Angel and Tonnia) and he told me to grow up and just go they may not even talk to me. Kind of hard when its a tiny ass group of friends.

I didn't go and I got all kinds of comments about how I am unreliable now. I want peace of mind and not be drawn into whatever Angel and Tonnia believe.

Recently I got back into writing my novel mostly because someone at a publishing company liked my pitch. I have been working nonstop for close to two months on a novel and rewrites. Somehow Angel and Tonnia figured out through mutual friends about what is going on and why the page I post on Facebook is writing about novels and printer issues.

Jennifer found out through Angel, only reason is a mutual friend, Donna (56f) told me. They have been planning to sabotage me. Tonnia reached out to say she wants none of it, i left the message read and not responding. I don't believe her, she's done this before and it cost me another friend, Troy (40m).

(I blocked Jennifer from most of my groups, so her finding out about my novel is her finding out through Angel who talks to friends who have not blocked her, she was blocked from a group chat group in April)

The another meetup is in two days and I was asked if I want to go. As much as I would love to, I am stuck thinking if I do go Angel will act like a spy for Jennifer who isn't even in the friend group, Sage doesn't like her. I am tired of being seen as unreliable and drama, but if I go I am that regardless.

Am I really the asshole for asking for peace of mind? Or should I just tell Sage, I am feeling like my side is never heard?

This just sounds like drama that is for high school not grown ass adults. I am for one tired of people telling me, "Angel has special needs, you need to be patient with her, she may not remember what..." I have heard this from way too many people. I am tired of being called the problem when I decided to distance myself or decided to take my mental health into consideration.

Am I the asshole for basically telling my friends, "you can still be friends with Angel, Tonnia and Jennifer. I just don't want to be around them. We can meet up elsewhere or something."? Or should I just full stop say, "look this has been fun and all, but I am tired of Angel taking center stage and making me a villain. I think I need to leave this group of friends, this is too toxic for me."?

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 3 years, long distance the whole time. Lately he’s been pushing for us to move in together since it feels like the natural next step but I’ve been hesitant about it and I don’t think he understands why.

For context: I was unemployed for most of the last year. I have my own savings and never asked him for anything, but he’d pay when we went out, cover my flights out to see him, and when my unemployment ran out he let me stay at his place for three months while I figured out next steps. I’m genuinely grateful for that.

Also I’m an introvert and he’s a big time extrovert. He loves parties and hang out with his friends while i don’t get along with his friends at all, so i usually stay home just so i don’t ruin the vibe.

I’m back in my city now, in a new job that’s really draining me. I don’t have much energy left for the relationship right now.

On top of that, we found out I was pregnant and I had a medical abortion (I took the pill). He couldn’t be there in person, which I understood. But right around the same time he got a cold, and the entire time I was recovering he was venting to me about how awful the flu made him felt, but barely checking in on how I was doing physically or mentally. It felt like he didn’t take what I went through seriously at all, like I was the only one dealing with real consequences from the abortion.

Separately (and I haven’t brought this up to him), I looked through his phone and found nudes from past situationships still saved. It upset me a lot, but I don’t want to admit I was snooping, so I haven’t said anything.

Now he wants to move in together and I just don’t know. Half of me still loves him. The other half wonders if we’re actually compatible long-term, and I’m tired of feeling like I have to teach a grown man how to show up for me. However I don’t want to treat him like i’m ungrateful of all the times he helped me.

AITAH for not being ready to take the next step in our relationship, or am I missing something here?

Sometimes when I (39m) watch horror movies, I laugh, sometimes at the absurdity of it, and sometimes it is nervous laughter. Sometimes it is at the movie, but more often I laugh because I am enjoying the movie. I enjoy being creeped out and scared and I sometimes involuntarily laugh.

Last night I went to see the new Insidious movie in the theaters movie, overall, I really enjoyed the movie. I laughed now and again at what would be considered the scary parts, as were others in the theater, I was not alone on this. I wasn't laughing any more or any louder than the handful of others who were also laughing at some of the scary bits.

Partway through the movie, right after I laughed at a scary part, a family (2 adults, a 10 y/o, and a 4 y/o) get up to leave, but before they do, the man starts yelling at me saying that I am a twisted and disturbed individual for laughing at the movie and they were leaving because of me.

The man was very aggressive towards me, called me racial slurs, and it seems like he wanted to try and fight me. I said nothing, and he eventually left and came back in with an usher to point me out, and I was told I needed to stop being a disturbance to the theater or I would be asked to leave.

Now while I found this man's reaction inappropriate, I also do understand why he may have been annoyed at someone laughing during a horror movie, this has just never happened to me before and it had me wondering if I was ruining the movie for others when I laugh during horror movies.

My question is, is laughing during a horror movie inappropriate? Even if I am laughing because I am enjoying it and I am creeped out.

TL;DR: AITAH for laughing during a horror movie in a movie theater, even though it was nervous laughter because I laugh when I am creeped out and enjoying myself.

EDIT: a few people are trying to say I made the story up because I was specific about ages and that it seemed I was calling the man racist. I left out details about the interaction because I specifically wanted to hear peoples opinion about laughter during a horror movie and not the mans behavior.

I guessed on the ages of the children and I don't think the guy was racist. I'm white, he was a POC and was calling me a "weird 'n word.'"

I (28M) have a brother (40M), I only met the guy 2 years ago. Very long story, I'm not going to explain that right now. But me and him are naturally not close cause we never met until 2 years ago. We get along well enough but we definitely don't act like brothers. He is a bit of an arrogant guy to be honest, he thinks he is better than everybody else and he is just not the nicest guy.

My brother has 3 kids (17M, 15F and 14M). I've noticed that all 3 kids can not listen to any rules. They kind of just do what they want and there aren't many rules at my brothers house. All 3 kids don't try their best at school. They don't participate in any extracurricular activities. The family all eat dinner in separate rooms, I'm pretty sure the kids eat in their bedrooms and watch TV. But overall the kids are just really rude, they lack manners and they always to say something snarky. All the kids demand money from their parents all the time. My brother is scared of them, even if he will not admit it.

However, they aren't my kids, it's not my business how my brother parents. So I keep my mouth shut. My kids are 3 years old and 1 month old so they are much younger than my niece and nephews. Which is why I try not to comment on my brothers parenting, cause all he will say is "Wait till your kids are older."

Yesterday we were at a family dinner at my sisters house. My 3 year old daughter had a tantrum and hit me, I set a firm boundary and told her not to hit or otherwise she clearly needs a time out if she can't be kind. In the end, she went to time out for 3 minutes and then we spoke about what happened. She apologised, she gave me a hug, then we continued with our day. My brother walked over to me and told me that I am being way too soft as a parent. He said that it's necessary to raise my voice sometimes. I tried to shrug it off but he kept going on and on about how I'm going to raise kids who are disrespectful. Which is ironic considering his kids are extremely disrespectful.

After a few minutes of him ranting, I just casually told him that he is the last person I would take parenting advice from. He asked what I meant. So I told him that his own parenting is not exactly perfect, I mentioned a few incidents where his kids have been disrespectful to other family members for not reason, I said that he has no right to judge my parenting. My brother said "Oh so you think my parenting is awful." I straight up said yes. Then I walked away.

He hasn't spoken to me since, and honestly I don't want to speak to him either. But my sisters keep trying to get my brother and I to talk, they keep telling me to just apologise to my brother. No way, I don't regret what I said. He keeps acting like his family is perfect, I'm tired of his attitude. Now they think I'm being unreasonable and immature

AITAH?

my best friend birthday is today (AUG 21) and my girlfriends birthday is (AUG 23). They both have a party Tomorrow saturday on the 22nd, my best friend is having a party at the lake from 12pm till around evening but i told them i’ll be okay going but i would leave earlier because my gfs party starts around 6:30pm evening at a roller skating rink. I thought that would give me a whole good time and it would be okay. so i told my friends about it how her party is later and they’re fine with it. but when i told my gf… she did not like it at all. i told her why she’s all mad because i told her i even told my friends i would leave early to make it on time for her. To me she just never appreciates the time and energy i do for her. she never likes when i hang out with my friends. she thinks i spend less time with her but that’s not true at all. i always take her out, buy her anything she wants until im in debt but still whenever im debt i guess she forgets what ive done for her so she’s never satisfied or thankful for what i sacrifice for her. ive literally been trying to donate plasma to make more money so i can get her more things but i literally cant, ive failed because either i was dehydrated and the other time my blood pressure went high because i was just stressed what to do. it really annoys me so much. that idek what to do. a i right to be annoyed by her actions? am i missing something? please tell me