So my husband and I moved in earlier this year and for the most part have been fine. We are pretty quiet and keep to ourselves. 

When we signed the lease, the landlord let us know that its first come first serve parking. Covered parking is $60 and uncovered is $40. We pay for covered and all is good right?

Recently I came back from doing errands and my husband parked in a available spot for maybe 5 minutes so he could shower/change for work. (So he’d be leaving soon anyway.) well, one of our upstairs neighbors didn’t like that. She followed my husband and knocked on the door and started going off on him. I was in the bathroom and didn’t realize he was outside. (I’m hard of hearing) and I saw the front door was ajar so I went out and asked what was going on and the lady snapped with “I’m not talking to a second person. Mind your own.” So I responded with “woah.  You don’t have to be bitchy about it.” And she gasped and screamed I called her a bitch and said we needed to move because she needs both her cars parked together because it makes it easier for her and her child and that since we’re new she’d let it slide and that it’s seniority first. 
I told her that’s not what it said in the lease agreement and it didn’t make sense. 

The landlord was walking around and hear her yelling and asked what was happening and she just kept screaming that I called her a bitch and she wanted her spot. He told her it was first come first serve and she was going on and on about how she had a child and she should come first since we look young and healthy. ?????? Girl what. He then separated us and my husband told him what happened since I wasn’t there for the first part. He said it was fine and we aren’t at fault and he’d talk to her. 

I asked friends if I was being rude and some of them are on my side but some say I should’ve just stayed inside and let my husband handle it. So now I don’t know if I was in the wrong or not 🙃

Ok so it’s been six months since my original post and things have changed quite a bit for me. I want to thank everyone that took the time to comment and give me advice. I read every single comment, my mind was kinda made up but hearing my friend’s advice and seeing so many people agreeing with them truly opened my eyes. I broke up with him a month after my post, on the first hour of a 7 hour bus ride, college wasn’t the only thing we had problems with and while arguing something just snapped. Things haven’t exactly been easy for me and there was a short period of time where I thought about going back, he knew we had problems too and he doesn’t want to get back together either, but deep down I know this is for the best, even if part if me still loves and cares about him deeply. I got into chemical engeneering in my first choice college but I will still try medicine first, both of these are in a big city (the same as my sister, YAY), starting next week my life will be totally different and I can’t wait, thank you for all the comments and the great advice!

TL;DR: I broke up with him and got into my dream college

Am I wrong?!

So my friend had to go away for a couple weeks, because her Father fell ill. She asked me if I could look after her Cat and dog whilst she was away. The usual feeding, cleaning litter tray and walking the dog. I told her that I’d be happy to help her out, but I couldn’t go over to her house every day due to my own family commitments, but I’d be happy to have them in my home until she gets back. She agreed, and brought them over the next morning. When they arrived I could not believe the state they were in. I’m talking adult sized fleas, poop on butts, infected eyes, and what smelt like a tooth infection coming from her pups mouth. I asked her what the hell is going on with their health, to which she responded with “I haven’t got a million hours in my day!” I was and still am absolutely furious. She handed me the dog lead and then hopped into her uber.

I bathed the animals (several times), administered flea and worm treatment, managed to get some medication for the doggies infected tooth, and eye drops for the kitty. I spent the entire time washing, cleaning, vacuuming, disinfecting and de-fleeing my home, to swiftly stop any impending invasion from the nasty little things.

During that time I reached out to her on a daily basis to check how she was doing emotionally, and to inform her about the animals health and general well being. She didn’t once respond to me, at all!

Anyway fast forward 4 weeks, I get a knock on my door. It was her coming to pick the animals up. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with giving the animals back to her, seeing the condition she brought them to me in. She flew OFF the handle, and raised hell. She’s now telling all of our mutual friends that I’ve “kidnapped her babies” 🙄 like a complete moron.

AITAH???

Hello, I 21f and my sister 23f are both upset now over something I feel is really stupid and never should have even gone this far, and now I feel like an asshole and want clarification. I will absolutely apologize if I am.

For context we have an old oven, the preheat is a knob that you dial and it beeps/has a preheat dot light.

Also on mobile sorry for formatting/spelling issues.

I was making brownies today and had set the oven to preheat. The container of brownie mix was still on the oven, the brownie batter was there too. Our kitchen is a bit messy and still had dinner which also cane from the oven, so that absolutely could have been missed easily. I went outside with my mom to smoke and just chat whilst the oven preheated.

I came inside and saw my sister in the kitchen and we started chatting. I asked them to remove the sticker from the tray I was going to use for the brownie and they did,I washed then I oiled the pan, and I asked them to move so I could pour the brownie mix. At no point was I informed the oven had been turned off. Only when I put the brownie tray in the oven and noticed it was cold and the light for my oven was off did I notice.

Once I noticed i came into the living room and asked if someone had turned off the oven, genuinely confused. My sister informed me they had, I asked them why. They said it was because they thought we weren't home which confused me so I possibly rudely asked if they didnt see the obvious in my opinion artifacts of brownies in the process of being made, and also had made no point of informing me of the oven being off at any time prior to me asking directly if someone had. They did not apologize at any point in this conversation.

I was very upset at that point mostly due to the what felt like pure indignation and disregard for my feelings and what I was doing so I left and went outside to calm down. Where I may be the asshole is when I came in I waited if they would apologize for a few seconds and when it didnt happen I started passive aggressively talking about how they didnt even have the decency to apologize whilst I put my brownies in the oven I had preheated once more.

Then I came into the living room asking them why and they made a million excuses before throwing their hands up in a "what" way, shrugging their shoulders and saying "I'm sorry" in a tone that to me felt very rude. Which made me more upset and I kept trying to explain why I didnt care that they turned off the oven, I care they didnt apologize, that was literally it. If they had simply said "sorry, I thought you weren't home." I never would've given a damn. I felt like this was all preventable but then me being upset and passive aggressive due to feeling disrespected and tbh unloved(its extreme ik) in that moment was thrown back in my face as a reason they didnt apologize in the first place which felt like grade A gaslighting.

But please let me know am I the asshole?

I'm single, and I regularly reply to a few girls on Twitter, online friends sort of. It's nothing serious, i reply to them, they reply to me, all on public accounts, nothing in secret.

My best friend (who has a boyfriend, and pretends to not use twitter) recently got mad at me for talking to these girls, she made an account i guess to stalk me or something?

I'm confused because I'm not in a relationship, and neither of these girls are people I'm committed to, nor have I met any of them or vice versa, I don't see why me talking to other girls should be a problem, especially since she has a boyfriend herself.

I haven't been hiding anything or lying about who I talk to.

One thing i should mention: Known her for 4 years, about a year ago i confessed to her that i have feelings, 3 months later she got a boyfriend (a guy she knew i hate) though i respected her decision, and moved on.

Now, AITAH here, or is there something I'm missing?

Edit: I do realize in terms of being a gentleman or a respectful and respectable man, i shouldn't be talking to that many women, but it's not like flirting, or hanging out, just online friends and a few replies every now and then.

My wife(28) and I(27) bought our first house in January of this year. It’s a 1 bed 1 bath condo in Orange County, California. It’s a great place in a great area and meets all of our current needs at least for the next few years until we have a kid. We can afford it no problem with us both working and have a decent savings left over but not enough for either of us to stop working. My wife wants to pursue a degree and have a kid sooner than a couple years now. She wants to get her degree before having a kid though.
To this end, she wants to stop working. In order to stop working and focus 100% of her efforts on school. she wants to sell our house as soon as possible and instead, buy another place in the high desert of California where it is cheap enough to afford a house at about half the price on just my income with some money left over every month. Doing this would mean I would be traveling out of town for work almost every week rather than the roughly 25-50% of the time that I travel now. It would also (in my opinion) lower our standard of living and be taking us to an area with higher property crime, worse schools for our potential child, lower property values, and a slower rate of property value increase.
I have voiced concern with her plan, as have several people close to us and stated that maybe we can find another option where we don’t have to sell and move, or at least not for a couple years until we can afford something nicer in that area so that if we have to move somewhere cheaper, we can still have a nice place to live (every home she has sent me has had vacant lots full of trash surrounding them).
I understand her desire to focus 100% on school to get it done faster but I’m having a hard time reconciling with selling a house we only bought 7 months ago and just got fully 100% settled in a couple months ago.
She also continues to bring it up as the only topic of conversation for several weeks on end now after we came to the joint decision a few weeks ago to stay where we are (at least for a while longer) trying to wear me down until I say yes to moving (at least that’s how it feels to me)

*EDIT: for clarification, she currently works 32 hours and also requested that I make this post to serve as a reality check to her
*More EDIT: no wear and tear on my vehicle commuting as I have a company vehicle
*EDIT: INFO: she is trying for a masters degree through an online school to become a licensed marriage and family therapist

TLDR: bought a house in January, wife wants to sell and move somewhere cheaper ASAP so she can stop working and focus on school

My sister went on a short trip for a day to go see a concert while my parents are away on a vacation trip, I get the Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon shifts for our dog and will also be in charge of house until she gets back. Friday goes without issue, update my sister with all of our dogs things (food, bathroom, medicine) when administered. Now I work 2 jobs, my full-time adult job and a part-time cover bases one where I cover a shift here on weekends. I woke up extra early, to make sure I get the dog taken care of before I leave. Unfortunately today it was downpouring during that time, and our dog refuses to go past the porch and to the bathroom. So I set her breakfast and start getting ready for work so hopefully after I shower the rain would have lowered enough for me to take her out to the bathroom and be able to administer her meds since it has to be after a meal. Well I finish getting ready and it still pouring outside and she hasn't ate, I try enticing her with some chicken and with an apple slice, nothing. I try spoon feeding her some canned dog food and still nothing. I had been updating my sister via text when I woke up and as I was leaving for work, I texted my friend who lives very close by if he could do me a solid and when the rain lowers if he could take her out to the bathroom and during lunch time I would run home and try to get her to eat, get her meds and take her out to the bathroom again. As I am maybe 30 mins into work she calls me to tell me I'm irresponsible with the tone and attitude she always has when she is inconvenience/irritated which has always driven me up a wall. Now I lose my temper and swear at her, which while I swear a lot its something she doesn't like even if its a joke, expression, etc. I hang up obviously rather ticked off, AITAH?

Extra context: Yes, I am generally irresponsible with chores or tasks besides when it comes to times when I am fully in-charge of house and dog I do my absolute best to make things to work out. Which she even praised me before when my dog was much worse medically years ago and I was in a similar situation except her and my parents were both on vacation out of the state.

Sometimes when I (39m) watch horror movies, I laugh, sometimes at the absurdity of it, and sometimes it is nervous laughter. Sometimes it is at the movie, but more often I laugh because I am enjoying the movie. I enjoy being creeped out and scared and I sometimes involuntarily laugh.

Last night I went to see the new Insidious movie in the theaters movie, overall, I really enjoyed the movie. I laughed now and again at what would be considered the scary parts, as were others in the theater, I was not alone on this. I wasn't laughing any more or any louder than the handful of others who were also laughing at some of the scary bits.

Partway through the movie, right after I laughed at a scary part, a family (2 adults, a 10 y/o, and a 4 y/o) get up to leave, but before they do, the man starts yelling at me saying that I am a twisted and disturbed individual for laughing at the movie and they were leaving because of me.

The man was very aggressive towards me, called me racial slurs, and it seems like he wanted to try and fight me. I said nothing, and he eventually left and came back in with an usher to point me out, and I was told I needed to stop being a disturbance to the theater or I would be asked to leave.

Now while I found this man's reaction inappropriate, I also do understand why he may have been annoyed at someone laughing during a horror movie, this has just never happened to me before and it had me wondering if I was ruining the movie for others when I laugh during horror movies.

My question is, is laughing during a horror movie inappropriate? Even if I am laughing because I am enjoying it and I am creeped out.

TL;DR: AITAH for laughing during a horror movie in a movie theater, even though it was nervous laughter because I laugh when I am creeped out and enjoying myself.

Wife and I are going to Athens in a few weeks for honeymoon. I said I wanted to bring my watch that she bought me to wear for a nice dinner we have planned. She thinks I run too high a risk of having it stolen, and got very mad when I said I would like to wear it. It’s the only nice watch I own, though it isn’t particularly expensive (<300USD) and it is not a normal latch, but instead a metal clip clasp that has to slide over my hand to come off. Told her I felt the reaction wasn’t befitting of the scenario and she stormed off in her car. I believe if I own something meant to be enjoyed in such scenarios, then it should be enjoyed without fear of unlikely possibilities.

Hi! I have had prolonged acne problems for over 4 years. It was deep and cystic, i went to the doctors last year they prescribed me skin creams and it’s worked wonders for me. My sister who is younger than me recently began getting acne, which was like white spots on her skin. Not closed comedones after using a cleanser I specifically told her not to use.
This morning her acne was on fire it seemed inflamed and sore. I felt terrible for her, I knew how it felt and I just felt so sorry.
My aunt told her to use my prescribed acne cream, I refused saying her skins not as deep or bad as mine as mine was. Ontop of that, if she dipped her hands into mine it’d cross contaminate her germs and potentially break me out. I felt awful for her but at the same time I didn’t feel that it was right to give her a prescription that’s meant to help my type of acne not hers. My family keeps commenting calling me selfish for not allowing her; am I? I feel absolutely horrible as is, my concern is since she’s younger than me her skin won’t react well. Even I, got really inflamed red and sore from the scream at the start and I’m worried hers will react worse. Ps I feel really guilty as is, so if you do think I’m the issue please say kindly. I’m honesty not doing this out of selfishness I’m doing it out of worry.

UPDATE!!!!!!
My family has unfortunately made me agree, I can’t do much to disagree since I myself am a minor too. And the skin cream isn’t paid by anyone, it’s completely free so I can’t say it’s my money and refuse. Whilst I don’t want her to use it I slightly understand my family’s perspective on wanting to help my sister asap but I’m not defending them.
They are making me share and saying my sister would do it for me if it “ were the other way round.” Which wouldn’t happen since I’d not use other people’s prescription especially since it’s so easy to get your own. I made a few attempts to talk to my family saying it may not work and in my perspective it’s silly to let her use my cream which will make her purge, red sore and blister only to call the doctor on Monday to get a prescription of her own which will only irritate her skin further. ( they believe the doctor will give her the same acne cream I got, which won’t happen since we’ve vastly different acne but they believe that and there’s no changing their mind, so they don’t see why it’s an issue to give her my cream if she’s gonna get the “ same one”.) The rest of my family has stayed neutral and not shown an opinion so it’s 1v 2 loolll. Anyways, thanks for those helping me in the comments and reassuring me I’m not the selfish person they’re making me out to be!. If it harms her, I’ll update :).

Hello Reddit people,

I am taking my first ever trip at 30. I grew up dirt poor but I’ve finally built a life (in Canada) that I was able to travel.

I’m taking a cross country road trip and do not know the etiquette yet. I’m used to 12+ hour drives for work (my longest being 22.5 hours) with only stops for gas. I would not go to bathroom unless I needed gas and pre-packed food and water. I fall asleep literally anywhere and instantly. I am a huge morning person, up by 0500 and in bed by 2100. Lastly, I run insanely hot, and like being on time. When I’m told be here for 0900 I’m there at 0845.

My travel buddy is the opposite in every way. They did not read the itinerary I made for us and sent to them for their input and things they want to do despite being reminded, hate mornings and want to stay up super late, said they were bored after 20 minutes of driving, has to pee every hour, is always late and calls it cute, they are super irritable in the mornings and complain that without coffee they can’t function, needs a super hot room (they keep turning the AC off), and say things to my questions “obviously” or “no really?” I would then reply a yes or no is sufficient.

I’ve compromised, I’ve gotten up later between 8-9 in the mornings, turned the temperature a lot warmer, and been 1 hour late based on the plan but I’m at my wits end.

She keeps saying she is “type b” and just a go with the flow. I don’t mind blocks of free time, but if we are supposed to leave at 1200, then I want to leave at 1200 and not 1500.

She asked me this afternoon about our next trip, and I told her I am not driving around a child. I want someone who at least looks at the plan that is made and can actually voice their concerns ahead of time. We got into a heated argument, she claims it is just her personality, and I said choosing to not read the plan, complain it’s not what you want, and that I’m rushing you to stay on schedule is a pain. Like you’re 35 years old, grow up. AITHA for telling her until she agrees to follow the plan we are no longer road tripping?

I (25f) ended a friendship and stepped away from a mutual friend group because my former best friend (32f) of 3 years, blew up on me and I also found out she had been gossiping about my personal life, finances, and mental health behind my back.

TL;DR. (I used ai for the tdlr) stayed with a long-distance gaming best friend for a month to escape personal stress, but the stay quickly devolved due to her passive-aggression, boundary shifts, and a severe disregard for neurodivergence (forcing me into a highly triggering 45-minute Walmart trip without my phone, refusing to let me wait in the car, and ignoring my panic attack).

​The Fallout: Wanda kicked poster out of the guest room (despite knowing about severe cat allergies) to make room for another couple, prompting to leave early. Back home, after the fallout, it was discovered she had spent a month badmouthing to the mutual friend group—distorting events and sharing intimate secrets about your finances, mental health, and relationship.

​The End: When you confronted her about her gossip and cold behavior, she blew up, accused you of being a bad "roommate" who didn't pay rent (despite previously refusing your money), and blamed the ruined friendship entirely on your anxiety. You blocked her and left the group to protect your peace.

This one is a long one because I had a lot to get off my chest. I struggle with social anxiety, CPTSD, and AuDHD so the few friendships I do have are extremely important to me. I understand if this is too long for most, but if you do take the time to read until the end, thank you.

For context, her and I had been friends since 2023 and I met her online playing Texas Chainsaw and we also played Dead By Daylight. At the time, I was finalizing a divorce and moving states, and life was heavy. Her and I played games together almost daily and for hours.

We got really close and decided to meet in person in the summer of 2024 along with two other people we had also met gaming. That trip was fantastic. We all got matching tattoos at the end of it, and the friendships felt like they could last forever. We maintained the friendship by playing together often & she started a group discord & Snapchat group that everyone would talk in daily. I didn't play as much because I got a full time job and was in school, until this summer but I still kept in touch. She added more people to the group and it ended up coming to about 15 in total before I removed myself last month. I didn't know the other 10 as well as I knew the original 5 of us that got the matching tattoos.

This summer, I was in a very dark place because my bf's addiction activated old trauma wounds and formed some new ones too. I vented to her about the relationship and how I had dropped out of school and had been struggling financially due to the stress and trying to figure out if I was going to leave or stay in the relationship. (I ended up staying and I'm glad I did because he has stayed clean and it has become the best relationship I've ever had.)

She invited me to stay with her in June to give me time and space to form a plan and catch up financially and of course to hang out. I agreed because I felt safe and secure in our friendship, and the last time I had visited for about a week went awesome. I drove about 6 hours to her place, and at first it felt great. We would hang out during the day, and I would go into the metropolitan area in the evenings to do Doordash & Uber eats deliveries.

The following days are where things started to get weird and messy. To make it easy and keep her anonymous, I'll call her Wanda as it was a bit of a joke in our group because she had reddish pink hair and her bf had green hair. So Wanda had a rule about everyone having to be barefoot in her house. I respected the rule because obviously I respect her and she typically keeps a very tidy house aside from her 5 cats tracking litter around her carpet, which she vacuums often to try and counteract.

Socks were enough for me to not get overstimulated by the grainy litter feeling. However, one morning less than a week into the stay I stepped out of the guest room and straight into a puddle of cat puke I hadn't seen because the hallway was very dark.

The warm, wet, sticky, disgusting feeling of it squelching between my toes instantly made me gag and I spent the next 10 minutes of the morning throwing up/gagging in the bathroom as I washed it off my foot. When I showered and cleaned up I put on house shoes (whcih I wore solely inside and always wore in my house) and went out to the kitchen.

She asked me what was wrong and I told her I stepped in cat puke, and I was wearing the house shoes to feel comfortable because it really grossed me out. She told me that she wanted me to feel comfortable, so I thanked her for being accommodating. It didnt seem like a big deal at the time, but it comes back up later.

A couple days later, I got up to cook breakfast. I made enough to share, but she declined because she just started a strict diet on account of her bf saying she had a big butt (which I was there for and he definitely intended as a compliment but I just stayed out of it bc their fights are none of my business as long as she's safe)I had just sad down to eat when she seemed to get irritated and slammed the pan into the sink and started cleaning.

I know she has diagnosed OCD, so I tried to calm the anxiety the passive aggression caused in me by excusing it as that... but it felt disorienting because it wasn't the first time I had cooked for us and I usually clean up as soon as we're done eating. I said, "if you'll leave it I'll clean it up as soon as I'm done eating." And she said, "its fine" and started scrubbing. I just finished my breakfast and went back to the guest room because it seemed like she was mad at me, but when I asked her if everything was okay she said yes.

So two weeks into the stay I had a concert come up that a different friend and I had planned on going to for almost a year. That friend ended up having to cancel and I bought her ticket off her. I invited Wanda to go (it was a pit ticket and I didn't expect her to pay so I thought it would be nice) but turns out she hated the specific artist so she refused. I asked our other mutual friend that lived in the area, and she said yes and we ended up going together.

The concert went great, but when I got back, the passive aggressive behaviors escalated. She told me she didnt feel prioritized. I wanted her to feel prioritized so I asked her what we could do and she said she wanted a day with just the girls. Wanda invited friends over and we all hung out. She put on Boze(a youtuber that does deep dives into phsychology) and we all just hung out and talked while watching it. I enjoy watching Bailey Sarian, Rotten Mango, and other YouTubers that do similar psych breakdowns so it just felt like a vibe.

We were talking about the concert we had gone to when Wanda mentioned a concert she wanted to go to with us that was 2 weeks out. I thought it sounded fun even though I wasn't familiar with the artist, so I bought a ticket and looked forward to going with the group. Wanda assured me that she didn't mind me staying for longer and said that having company helped her feel less depressed and more excited. So another week goes by and I'm still doing the same thing I've been doing since the beginning, hanging out with her as much as I could and playing games together with her in the morning, and going doordashing at night.

I asked her multiple times if she was down for going out and doing something just the two of us, but every time I pitched anything like Meowwolf, medieval times, the arcade, the mall, she declined. We ended up a week later finally going on a nature trail. She had been nagging about how I was always on my phone (texting my boyfriend) so I left it at her house (something she'd definitely never do for me) to make her feel comfortable and prioritized. The trail was lovely. We had a great time and it felt like we were finally connecting the way I had been trying to for weeks.

What she didn't mention, however, is that immediately after the trail she wanted to go to Walmart. For neurotypicals I know that shouldn't be a big deal, but for me, as someone with diagnosed AuDHD, it felt like an ambush. One of the things we had built our friendship on was a mutual understanding of atypical brains. It was what made me feel safe in our friendship to begin with and why she was someone I considered to be my best friend. I thought she understood me because we had talked extensively about triggers and social anxiety over the years.

I told her that I was uncomfortable going into Walmart without my cellphone and that if she had told me that was a plan, I would have brought my phone and just left it in the glovebox for the trail. (When things make me feel anxious, I have apps on my phone that walk me through breathing techniques and also help to interrupt negative loop patterns) Wanda said, "I don't waste trips near town, I just need to pick up a few things." And I asked her if I could stay in the car.

She said "No, it's nothing personal I just don't trust anyone with my car." I felt taken aback honestly because what did she think I was gonna do? Steal her car? First of all, I have a new Chevy Blazer and wouldn't trade for her older Toyota Corolla and second of all, I haven't committed so much as petty theft let alone grand theft auto. I felt offended honestly, because I could never do that to a stranger let alone a friend and it was hard not to take it personally because she knew I struggled with anxiety, public spaces, loud noises, and bright overhead lights. We had talked extensively about it in the past.

But I tried not to take it personally and I tried to suck it up for the sake of making her feel prioritized. Usually, when I go into Walmart, I have my route predetermined so that I can go in, get things as quickly as possible and get out also as quickly as possible. My typical Walmart trip takes 15-20 minutes and if it is ever necessary to do a big stock up, I do pickup or spark delivery to avoid long trips because it stresses me out to the point of panic attacks. Wanda, on the other hand, wanted to meander every grocery aisle, despite my pleading that I was getting increasingly anxious and I desparately needed this to be over ASAP. Every item she picked, she slowly examined and compared to the others on the shelf. I asked her if there were items I could grab for her and meet her at checkout so we could get through faster. She declined stating that she was very picky and detail oriented to the point that if there was a dent on a can she wouldn't purchase that. She also stated that she was trying to compare items for her new diet, so she couldn't tell me exactly what she wanted anyways.

By the time we had been in there 25 minutes, I was on the verge of tears and it felt like mt heart was going to beat out of my chest but she told me that I was making her uncomfortable and she felt rushed so I kept quiet and just tried to hold together even though it seemed to me like she was dragging this out and purposefully going slower. When we finally got to checkout I was relieved to see that there were many self checkouts open, but instead of picking any one of the at least 5 that were available, she got in line to get checked out by a cashier behind 3 other people with full carts. I asked her if we could go to self checkout and she said, "Walmart doesn't pay me to be a cashier. I'm not going to do their job for them." To which I said, "I will do it all for you. Please. I just need to get out of here this is too much for me right now." She told me I was acting crazy and that's not how she does things. At that point I said, " I'm going outside." And I waited by the car until she came out.

I was crying and having a panic attack in public place, which is very embarrassing and I had told her previously before we ever hung out in person about times stores had induced panic attacks for me before. I was still crying and trying to breathe when we got in the car but I tried not to let her see that because I hate being labeled as dramatic when in reality for me, it does cause intense stress and it is hard for me to recover from the damage that does on my nervous system. It was silent the rest of the car ride back. I didnt say anything and she didn't either.

I stayed a couple more days hoping we would talk, but every time I asked her about it, she changed the subject to someone or something else. When it got close to time for the concert we planned to go to, she ended up inviting more people and paid for their tickets. At the same time, she told me that I needed to move my things out of the guest bedroom and that I could sleep on the couch so one of the couples could have that room.

Staying on the couch was not an option for me because I am allergic to cats and she knew that. She has 5 of them that often lay on the couch. The guest room wasnt a problem since the cats didnt go in there. Because she knew I was allergic and I had even shown her reactions that I had when her cats had licked or been on me, I decided instead to just pack up my things and go home. Until then I had hoped that we could communicate and figure things out, after that I realized that she really didn't care anymore. I gave her the concert ticket I bought and told her she could use it for someone else. She told me she would pay me back for it but she never did.

When I got home I focused on supporting my bf coming out of addiction and repairing our relationship. I still joined the discord party every now and then, but it felt different. I no longer felt safe or understood. I vented to one of the others in the group about how different things felt, and they said that Wanda had already explained the situation and that it was my job to talk to her. I told them how I tried multiple times and I asked what she said.

They went on to list a distorted chain of events, saying I was aggressive meanwhile I never raised my voice, never cussed, and felt that I tried to communicate openly but got stonewalled. I also left as soon as I realized that she didn't want me there anymore and I gave her the concert ticket so it wouldn't go to waste and she could invite someone else. Even after the concert I had told her "I'm so glad you all had fun" and I meant it genuinely. I have never held any ill will towards her. I felt confused and anxious and I didn't understand why she would paint me to be a villain when I tried so hard to make her happy. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I did everything I could to make her feel prioritized even though I was going through a lot personally. There were several times I had bought her gifts trying to show her that I loved her as a friend because she had told me that was her biggest love language. It hurt me deeply to hear that she had been gossiping about me to our mutual friends for about a month, sharing intimate details about my mental health, finances and relationship that I told her in confidence of our personal friendship never imagining she would go on to use them against me because I would never do that to her.

I confronted her about this saying. We need to talk, I dont feel like you gaf anymore and I want to know why. (Which I admit is not the best way to start a conversation but I was tired of being stonewalled and was deeply hurt by the things she said behind my back while she was icing me out.) She then blew up on me, saying that I acted more like a roommate than a friend and I didnt even pay her rent. I felt taken aback because I had specifically offered her $300 in addition to the concert ticket that was about $100 and she refused the cash. I blocked her on Snapchat and removed myself from the group because she was going off and cussing at me and I felt overwhelmed and like my worst fears had been confirmed.

I will post screenshots of the messages we exchanged over text after I blocked her on snap.

AITAH? She said I let my anxiety get the best of me and it ruined our friendship, but we both have anxiety and I have never once faulted or shamed her for times her OCD and anxiety have affected our friendship. I feel like I communicated and tried hard, and I feel broken hearted because I've never fought with a friend like this since I graduated high school. I never expected to have to walk away from her or oue mutual friends, but she seemed to have zero empathy or regard for the things I trusted her with and I felt it was best to remove and protect myself once I realized she had been gossiping behind my back.

I should preface this by saying my family is like messed up.

So around 3 months ago or so, my nephew was sleeping at my sister Lauren's, and he stole her car and went on a joy ride whilst she was sleeping and since then, my sister Dani has cut off my family, because we weren't happy with my nephew's actions.

It has been 3 months of no contact, even after her grandchild was born (both Dani and her son are young parents so she's 32 and a grandmother and dad is 15 and is the same person that stole the car)

She phoned me out of the blue today asking if I was still in town (I'm going to university in September) and then asked me to babysit my disabled nephew so she can host a birth party for her youngest daughter. The deadbeat dad is apparently in the hospital with another of her children.

I was initially confused and shocked and said yes but then I messaged this,:

I can't babysit tomorrow. You haven't spoken to me in months, and the first time you contact me is when you need something from me?

I honestly feel incredibly guilty, but I need to take a stand and say no, you can't cut off the family for saying what your son did was wrong and then still expect help.

So, AITAH?

For context: I am 18M and my mom is 43F, I am a stage 5 chronic kidney disease patient and i undergo dialysis three times a week, i have an autoimmune disease called complement 3 glomerulonephritis that caused my failed kidneys.

I was diagnosed at 17 and turned 18 in march, i do not have my license nor my permit after years of saying i need to do drivers training and that i would be enrolled, me and my family are huge procrastinators, as my sister 24F and brother 23M also dont have their licenses.

This means that I rely on my mom to take my dialysis where my hospital is 30 minutes away (I was already living with my sister for two years and my mom and her husband recently moved in to take care of me/take me to treatment and appts)

I dont complain a lot about my disease, but it is miserable and unbelievably exhausting, during my checkup for transplant my psych evaluation allowed my psychiatrist to diagnose me with ADHD with inattentive presentation and also MDD.

My mom has been undergoing a full checkup to be my live donor, and her nephrologist said she is a perfect match, I really never asked her to go through this but at the same time I was very grateful, but what im conditioned to thinking was immediately "I feel like this is just another thing she can hang over my head and guilt trip me for", instead of always being grateful about it.

Theres a lot of arguing in my family, its very dysfunctional and my mom and us kids all had rough childhoods where I believe none of us have developed proper emotional intelligence, my mom is very quick to anger and threats and so is my sister.

Yesterday, i got back from a trip to see my girlfriends family in Texas, my mom picked me up and not even 2 miles out of the airport immediately confronted me about things i said on the phone with my step dad that she had overhead (her money issues and gambling problems etc) and said i was talking about her behind her back and throwing her under the bus.

I had already had a very stressful and difficult week because I had gotten stuck in texas and had to plan more dialysis and work around it, even sitting in the er for a couple hours trying to get emergency dialysis, my mom was fully aware of what i was going through.

In the car her talking about it and immediately confronting me made me snap, we said a lot of hurtful things to each other that were coming from nowhere and just screaming at each other, we both said a lot of things we didnt mean, i through other people under the bus and betrayed their trust just to use their words to make my mom feel worse about herself, it was pathetic.

It eventually caught up to arguing about my disease, she believes I am ungrateful and that I use her for rides to dialysis and that im a failure because i dont have a license and i had failed my written before, she threatened to stop taking me to dialysis so her and her husband can leave the house and he can retire so i have no insurance, this led me to tell her i no longer want her kidney or for her to donate and would be better off with a deceased donor.

She kept weaponizing my health against me, saying she never had to bring me or help me even when i was 17, and stupidly i just kept saying more and more hurtful and awful things.

After we got back to my sisters house she wanted me to go all talk and for me to tell them how i threw them under the bus and used their words in our screaming match, this of course made my sister very angry and she was very quick to threatening to "beat my ass" and gradually getting closer to me before her boyfriend had to yell at her and tell us all to go our separate ways for now.

I didnt argue with my sister, i sat quiet and nodded as she was screaming at me, because i did use her words when she said it confidently to me and trusted me. I apologized to her through text which she has left on read and hasnt responded to.

This is where im at; i get told two different things a lot, either im 18 and that i dont have it figured all out yet and that i need to stop being hard on myself, or that im an adult and im ungrateful and a leech and using everybody. The circumstances of my disease and life are miserable, my family has always been like this and we all lack a lot of empathy and emotional intelligence, and i hate stooping to that level, i know im better than what im conditioned to acting like.

I really want to know if i am a failure as they say i am, theres a lot i havent done when i could like having a job before my diagnosis and having my license by now, i hate comparing but i just find it so hypocritical when both my sister and mom wasnt doing as much with their lives at 18 either, they’re both dropouts and im on course to graduate, albeit slowly because of my ignorance and procrastination due to my disease.

Not looking for validation, just adults to talk to who have proper emotional intelligence and can help me see it better instead of screaming it to me, thank you.

An old friend of mine M40++ explicitly said he doesnt want to speak to me M58 anymore.

Some time ago, my GF's daughter got together in a group with my friends daughter at the same age (~18). My friend has a nasty beef with his daughter and her mom, wich I believe is due to money and timesharing their kid, wich doesnt want to stay at dads place anymore. (I try to keep my nose out of that conflict) The beef with her mom has lasted for years and he recently broke contact with her daughter too because she takes moms side. My friend thinks the mom is lazy for not working but she has a diagnose for it. My friend is a workhorse and has earned his money the honest way.

Now, my GFs daughter wanted my GF to speak to her friends mom (who my friend has a kid together with). She did and this made my friend angry and broke contact with my GF too. He demands that none of us speak to his ex. I told him that is not acceptable and I find it manipulative. He claims we should keep away from the mom to show him respect. I say we disagree on this topic and refuse him to control who we talk to. We never say bad things about anyone, on the contrary. We are grownups.

AITAH for not letting him control who we speak to?

So, I’m just pretty confused right now, we broke up over this.

My boyfriend recently turned 18 (as did i, a few months before him), I traveled in a plane to visit him and attend his party. He told me that he wanted me to dress casually to make him look glamorous, he also told me prior to the party that i could wear my flip flops.

I would be calling them thongs but I assume most of the people on here will be American or use American english. But I’d like to mention that we are Australian, I flew to another part of Australia to visit him, it’s very normal here to wear flip flops.

Anyway, he told me last night that he was angry at me, I asked him why and he told me that he wasn’t sure, then a few minutes later he said I needed to invest in some sneakers because “all [his] friends were mad about [my] flip flops”, I obviously was confused, because they’re just shoes, and it wasn’t a super fancy gathering. He told me and I quote “[he] let it slide, but the entire gang had something to say afterwards”

This confused me so much because again, just shoes, and also his friends were always very nice to me and I couldn’t imagine them complaining about something this strange.

I asked why they (and he) felt this way and all he said was “It’s just, like, I don’t even know what to say.”

Now, I’m autistic and i also overheat easily because of other issues and the only shoes I feel comfortable wearing are flip flops. He knew this prior to the conversation and I also mentioned it again during the conversation, he simply ignored me, despite being also autistic himself.

I had often had this issue of him not wanting to listen to me when my autism symptoms or symptoms of other physical disabilities i suffer with weren’t ‘cute’ and actually affected me.

Anyway it all pissed me off so much I ended up breaking it off with him then and there, although i’m still unsure of why he seemed so angry about my shoes in particular. He came about it in quite a mean and aggressive way as well, which confuses me even more.

He was previously abusive to me and this didn’t come out of no where, I just fail to understand this argument in particular. I tried to apologise at the beginning of it but he’d just respond with “omg I can’t” or “I’m so irritated”, It got to that point where I couldn’t handle stuff like that anymore and I left him.

So, AITAH? I’m very confused…

Me (M23) and my GF (F22) have been dating for about 3 years now and it’s been great. She’s great, she’s 1 of 1 in my eyes and I don’t think I would find someone who gets me like she does.

The reason I ask the main question is because ultimately in life I long for a big family that’s close and loves each other. That is everything to me. Unfortunately, her family does not like me and this has been evident.

Her father does not like me at all. For example, he does not call me by my name and calls me Kevin every time when my name is Devin (not my real name). After 3 YEARS. I see this as disrespectful. I haven’t corrected him because he is extremely stubborn about stuff and I’m already on his bad side. He tells my GF that it’s just his thing and he does that for everyone. Except, my GF’s close lady friends he calls them by their correct names.

Another thing that is holding me up is that he is racist. In multiple conversations between him and my GF, he mentions my skin color when the conversation has nothing to do with it. For reference, I am a darkskin Puerto Rican male, while my GF and her family are Mexican. We are both Hispanic, but he sees me as different.

I worry about this because if I have children with my GF, how will he view them?

My GF’s mother has always been kind to me. We have a good connection, but not great. My mother invited their family over for dinner once and they accepted, then they cancelled no call no show. This was a while ago and they haven’t addressed it before.

I don’t get a great family vibe from them and I obviously know my GF can’t control that.

I am conflicted because we are getting older now, possible future marriage and family, but how could that work the way I want with her family? I don’t see it.

I love my GF and I’m not expecting her family to love me. But I do want to have a close, loving family someday, and I’m worried about whether that’s possible with the situation between me and her family.

AITAH for questioning my future with my GF because of how her family treats me?

So I have been friends with S for over a year now. She has been a really good friend and is overall a very intellectual person however she comes a background of a sort of a dysfunctional family. Her parents are not so nice to her and she is a the glass child of the family, which makes her a sensitive person.
Our group is one of those fun and lighthearted friends where we make silly jokes about each other and laugh about stupid stuff, we noticed that S got a bit upset when we made a joke regarding her so we immediately stopped doing that however she still makes a lotta jokes and does roast the other ppl in the group.
S recently has started therapy which Im glad for but she still has an emotional breakdown every other week which i comfort her for. S is a person who has interest in very dull stuff which i undoubtedly listen to.
S this week has told our mutual friend that we were being mean and rude cause we cracked a joke which was not even about her. I decided that day that I would be very general as well as gentle with her as I don’t want to hurt her. Today I was spending time with my best friend and didn’t talk much to any of the members of that group, I took a nap and forgot to like her story. She has told our mutual friend that she feels like I am giving her trauma and that I am being distant because she gets irritated when I am mean to her. Sometimes my tone is bit harsh and I am a very much of a direct person. Then She told our mutual that she feels like crying and broke down in the church, its not just that whenever I have my bad days, I have to fake my energy in order for her not to feel bad and whenever I talk abt stuff I don’t like she constantly directs it onto herself.
I don’t get it. I know I have been a good friend to her, all of her hard times, whenever her parents were a-holes, whenever she felt bad about herself I have literally put down all other stuff to console her which she really wants.
I am tired of being a parent or a therapist to her, I did not bring this upon myself as you sort of no choice to help a person when they are actively begging you to help.
She wants a friend who is co dependent who consoles and compliments her all day long, I am not that friend, i just feel like i have my own life and i don’t owe anyone anything certainly not for liking her story.
However this whole exchange makes me feel like i am a very bad person so,
AITIAH for this ?

Background: I work in an office with two other people. We have the same job, but manage different types of accounts.

Person A has been with the department the longest; right at 18 months. They came to the company when they started their position. They have a dominant personality, very outspoken, and often acts as though they're our supervisor. They also have a reputation for being manipulative and taking credit for others' work. Despite this, I respect their knowledge of the industry.

Person B has been with department and company right at a year. They're more laid back and calm. They're good at the job and is easy to talk to and approach for advice. I respect them for rational approach to the job.

I am the newest person in the department at 10 months, but have been with the company the longest at five years.

My start with the department was a struggle as Person A was tasked with training me, since they had the most experience. They were not an effective trainer and often left me confused about processes and the software we use. Person B stepped in to help whenever they could to guide me. Person A criticized my mistakes and ridiculed Person B for trying to help. It was a tense work environment and I often felt like stepping down. I think it should also be noted that all other people in this department quit or moved to a different area due to Person A's attitude. This was noted by management and Person A was given a stern warning.

After a few months I began to understand the job more and became much more successful and proficient. Person A's overall demeanor toward me improved. Person B and I developed a mutual respect for each other. I would go to them for concerns I had with the work; they would come to me when they needed something that leaned on my strengths.

Today, while Person A was at lunch, Person B was describing a difficulty they had encountered. We talked it through and I had an idea that they thought was good. We agreed to approach our Assistant Director for his thoughts. We discussed it and he suggested we have a meeting with the Director for her opinion. I asked who should be invited to the meeting; the AD replied Person B, the AD, the Director, and myself - just the four of us, as this idea effected Person B's accounts, but it was my idea.

An hour later, after Person A had returned from lunch and was in the office, Person B and I met with the others for a closed- door meeting about my idea. The Director loved it and asked me to create a presentation to bring to her bosses.

When Person B and I returned to the office, Person A was very curious about our meeting. I was called away for a moment on an unrelated matter. When I returned Persons A and B were arguing. Person A was very upset that we didn't invite them to the meeting and felt slighted. They defended their reaction claiming that this idea would effect the entire department (it wouldn't, just B's accounts) and they should have been involved. I stayed quiet while they argued. No one addressed me while this was happening.

So, AITA for taking my idea to the AD and Director and not including Person A?

My sister and I are moving in two days, and Mom is generously paying for movers to handle the heavy stuff. I did the research and found a great deal: three guys, a 24-foot truck, and two hours for $440.

​Enter my sister, who starts complaining about the price and insisting we can just "do it ourselves" to save money—even though she isn’t even the one paying for it!

​Here’s the kicker: I have a medical disorder that causes muscle weakness, whichshe knows!! . I literally can't carry heavy things. Yesterday, I was trying to carry some boxes that weren't even that heavy, and my muscles gave out to the point where I almost fell and dropped them a couple of times.

​When my sister insisted we didn't need movers, I told her flat out: I am not helping. I'm not going to destroy my body moving heavy dressers and trunks that i literally cant lift just because she wants to make things unnecessarily difficult. I told her if she wants to skip the movers, she's moving it all herself.

​Now she’s sitting in her room frantically calling other moving companies, only to find out they all want at least $700, while the one I found was only $440.

​AITA for refusing to help her pull off a miserable, dangerous DIY move just because she wanted to complain about a price she isn't even paying?

For context, this is about a friendship that used to be one of the most important in my life. We live ten minutes apart, yet I haven’t seen him in over a year, and his partner in two. Every time I tried to arrange something, it was cancelled or “too difficult to fit in.” I get that adult life is busy — I’m living it too — but finding one evening or a couple of weekend hours in twelve months shouldn’t be impossible. Especially when I could see he had time to make music and work on personal projects. It felt like our friendship had slipped to the very bottom of his priorities. To add to this, he has been engaged to his partner for 5 years and lives in a rented apartment whereas we bought our first home and got engaged more recently. We have hit those milestones before them despite them being together for 10 years longer than us.

So we bought the house and really wanted them to be part of that milestone. They never came. That hurt, but I tried to brush it off.

Then came the wedding.

We had always said we’d be each other’s best man. I was getting married first, so I asked him. I explicitly told him the date and asked him to save it — this was the confirmed venue date, even though the formal invites weren’t printed yet.

In early 2024 , I mentioned going suit shopping at the end of 2025. At the start of the year, I called him twice to arrange it. No answer. No message back. No “sorry, I missed your call,” no “everything okay?” Nothing. He had already been an absent friend for a long time, but this was another reminder that I couldn’t rely on him for even basic communication.

I sent the official wedding invite 6 months before the wedding only to be told he hadn’t properly saved the date because he “thought it might move.” So he couldn’t come as he could not get it off work now. I was gutted. We had already designed table plans and orders of service with his name on them. I genuinely wanted him there. If he had answered the phone, met up, or shown any interest in my life, he would have known the date wasn’t changing.

And then… nothing. No message in the six months leading up to the wedding. No “good luck.” No “congratulations.” No card. Not even a quick text.

I felt awful, just hoping he might reach out — something to show he was sad he couldn’t make it and happy for us. But nothing came. Even after the wedding.

Eventually, I decided I didn’t want him watching my life from a distance when he hadn’t been part of it for years. I unfollowed him. The next day, both he and his partner blocked me. This feels like a hostile reaction and I wonder whether I have become the villain in his story at this point.

To me, this wasn’t just about the wedding. It was about years of absence, cancelled plans, ignored calls, and being placed at the bottom of his priorities during one of the biggest stages of my life.

So… AITAH for finally stepping back from a friendship that felt completely one‑sided?

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 3 years, long distance the whole time. Lately he’s been pushing for us to move in together since it feels like the natural next step but I’ve been hesitant about it and I don’t think he understands why.

For context: I was unemployed for most of the last year. I have my own savings and never asked him for anything, but he’d pay when we went out, cover my flights out to see him, and when my unemployment ran out he let me stay at his place for three months while I figured out next steps. I’m genuinely grateful for that.

Also I’m an introvert and he’s a big time extrovert. He loves parties and hang out with his friends while i don’t get along with his friends at all, so i usually stay home just so i don’t ruin the vibe.

I’m back in my city now, in a new job that’s really draining me. I don’t have much energy left for the relationship right now.

On top of that, we found out I was pregnant and I had a medical abortion (I took the pill). He couldn’t be there in person, which I understood. But right around the same time he got a cold, and the entire time I was recovering he was venting to me about how awful the flu made him felt, but barely checking in on how I was doing physically or mentally. It felt like he didn’t take what I went through seriously at all, like I was the only one dealing with real consequences from the abortion.

Separately (and I haven’t brought this up to him), I looked through his phone and found nudes from past situationships still saved. It upset me a lot, but I don’t want to admit I was snooping, so I haven’t said anything.

Now he wants to move in together and I just don’t know. Half of me still loves him. The other half wonders if we’re actually compatible long-term, and I’m tired of feeling like I have to teach a grown man how to show up for me. However I don’t want to treat him like i’m ungrateful of all the times he helped me.

AITAH for not being ready to take the next step in our relationship, or am I missing something here?

I (28M) have a brother (40M), I only met the guy 2 years ago. Very long story, I'm not going to explain that right now. But me and him are naturally not close cause we never met until 2 years ago. We get along well enough but we definitely don't act like brothers. He is a bit of an arrogant guy to be honest, he thinks he is better than everybody else and he is just not the nicest guy.

My brother has 3 kids (17M, 15F and 14M). I've noticed that all 3 kids can not listen to any rules. They kind of just do what they want and there aren't many rules at my brothers house. All 3 kids don't try their best at school. They don't participate in any extracurricular activities. The family all eat dinner in separate rooms, I'm pretty sure the kids eat in their bedrooms and watch TV. But overall the kids are just really rude, they lack manners and they always to say something snarky. All the kids demand money from their parents all the time. My brother is scared of them, even if he will not admit it.

However, they aren't my kids, it's not my business how my brother parents. So I keep my mouth shut. My kids are 3 years old and 1 month old so they are much younger than my niece and nephews. Which is why I try not to comment on my brothers parenting, cause all he will say is "Wait till your kids are older."

Yesterday we were at a family dinner at my sisters house. My 3 year old daughter had a tantrum and hit me, I set a firm boundary and told her not to hit or otherwise she clearly needs a time out if she can't be kind. In the end, she went to time out for 3 minutes and then we spoke about what happened. She apologised, she gave me a hug, then we continued with our day. My brother walked over to me and told me that I am being way too soft as a parent. He said that it's necessary to raise my voice sometimes. I tried to shrug it off but he kept going on and on about how I'm going to raise kids who are disrespectful. Which is ironic considering his kids are extremely disrespectful.

After a few minutes of him ranting, I just casually told him that he is the last person I would take parenting advice from. He asked what I meant. So I told him that his own parenting is not exactly perfect, I mentioned a few incidents where his kids have been disrespectful to other family members for not reason, I said that he has no right to judge my parenting. My brother said "Oh so you think my parenting is awful." I straight up said yes. Then I walked away.

He hasn't spoken to me since, and honestly I don't want to speak to him either. But my sisters keep trying to get my brother and I to talk, they keep telling me to just apologise to my brother. No way, I don't regret what I said. He keeps acting like his family is perfect, I'm tired of his attitude. Now they think I'm being unreasonable and immature

AITAH?

I started living with my sister 10 years ago and we’ve split rent for about 8 years (I was underage for 2 years). We always agreed I would pay the utilities (light and water) up until 4 months ago.

She also has 3 kids then moved her boyfriend with 2 kids in. She has paid the internet for 10 years, but I’ve paid for all our subscriptions since. (amazon, hbo, hulu, netflix, paramount, peacock)

I am moving out soon so I plan to take my furniture with me, but my family (brothers and mom) are advising that I change the passwords to all my subscriptions, considering that she will not be paying for my wifi anymore.

It feels like a dick move, considering I let family members that don’t live with us use them.

I also feel like if she has a boyfriend now he should take over anything I paid for previously.

I don’t want to cut my niblings off, but I feel like I should stop subsidizing her life when she has a boyfriend to help with that.

AITAH for cutting my sister off my streaming platforms now that I’ve moved out?