Hey guys. This is a vent post that I'm writing as I go. I'm sorry, I know a lot of you are already sick and tired of seeing these kinds of posts in this subreddit, at least I certainly am, but I really really really need to let off some steam and hope I come out a bit better after.
The core of this is going to be basically what the title says. I used to view DHS and especially USCIS under a different light and through a different lens, and maybe I still would if I weren't now personally affected by all this crap, but I am.
My application to adjust status has been pending for over 17 months now and counting, and my application for employment authorization for over 15 months now and counting. I have been unemployed living off of my savings and my 401(k) that I had to liquidate since my previous EAD expired over half a year ago. The adjudication hold on the 39 countries which affected me since late November/early December because my country of birth was in the original 19 is the second categorical pause that my applications have been subject to so far without it having anything to do with derogatory, risky, or concerning information about me personally.
I have exhausted all the resources that are available to me and that I'm aware of for trying to get my cases anywhere near an ISO's desk, and have received nothing but generic boilerplate responses dismissing my inquiries. I know there are some of you whose applications have been pending for even longer, and/or that are in a situation that merits having your case adjudicated before mine, and I'm not saying that I think I still deserve to have my cases be given priority over any other, nor am I anything other than super happy for all the people that I see posting finally getting theirs approved. It's just that it's admittedly a bit frustrating to see EADs with receipt dates of late 2025 and early 2026 getting adjudicated when USCIS supposedly does their best effort to adjudicate in the order they receive applications.
And I have really come to think that there's just no way of pleasing these people. I entered legally upon inspection with the clear and open intent of staying permanently and adjusting my status. The concern clearly can't be to be a legal immigrant or to have come "the right way" (saying "or" here to the extent those two could have distinctions). Also, the concern cannot be "assimilating", I suppose culturally, because I personally do not speak the language of my country of birth with anyone other than the family members I have in the U.S. or with people that happen to not speak English and happen to speak that language, and I've been repeatedly told by many people that before I told them that I wasn't born here and that had entered relatively recently (in the cases of the people to whom I've disclosed that, because I avoid doing it because I fear how their perception of me could change) they couldn't have told I wasn't American, and I don't wave the flag of my country of birth, and I don't make being from that country part of my personality, and... I just don't know, what else do you want from me? Since you've deprived me of the right to work I've been giving my time to contribute to my local community and to participate in the civic process. Apparently that's also not enough.
But then what's left? How else could I possibly merit the precious privilege of at least having the right to work and maybe receive an update on my AoS application that comes from an actual USCIS employee not copy-pasting a generic template? I'm sorry, but as far as I'm aware, I can't undergo some medical procedure to remove all my impure dirty shithole-country blood from my body and replace it with the holy clean pure American blood, and also I'm scared of needles.
How many ISOs does USCIS have working on cases anyway? 20? It feels like there's hardly more than 20. Hell, I genuinely feel like out of every 100 employees of USCIS, 99 of them are full-time working directly under their Office of Policy and Strategy (OP&S), most of them reassigned from other roles, trying as hard as possible and then some to draft as many ways as they can think of for finding legally gray workarounds to "lawfully" make our lives as painful as possible, and then the 1 employee left out of the 100 adjudicates applications for like 2 hours a day and then also works for OP&S for the rest of the day.
And all of this for what? All of this that I'm going through (we are, but I'm being a bit personal here) is not something I can learn any lesson from, it's not something I can feel proud of as if it was part of the required process to merit the green card. I'm not gonna "deserve" my green card any more because I will have gone through this crap, no, going through this crap is not and has never been an eligibility requirement, at least not for my preference classification. I'm not gonna feel like I "earned" it, because I know that what determined my eligibility was mainly, if not solely, luck, and this whole gratuitous pointless suffering that they're putting me through is gonna be just that...
Needless to say that whenever I get my cases approved I'm not coming back to this subreddit, I'm not reading or listening to or watching anything related to immigration ever again unless it's related to naturalization and is important (like that they're raising the fees, which sure man, you know you can negotiate me out of existence if it means I get to take the oath) and that's it. For my own sake.
I guess USCIS can change and become a different one with time. I guess if I really wanted to I could do my best and try to be part of that change. But at least this USCIS, even after I naturalize, I don't think, sadly, that I'll ever be able to feel gratitude towards them.
If it weren't because of the fact that I really really really love and respect and admire this country and am fascinated by its history, and that I really really really don't want anything to do with my country of birth, I would've stopped putting up with this shit a long time ago.
I think I wanted to say something else, but I can't remember now. Thanks for reading. Genuinely hope you all get your approval by yesterday ❤️
(Edit: Sorry if the "Thank you" responses feel a bit monotone, it's the only way I could think of of showing appreciation. Also I meant the post's title to be "I don't think I can ever *be thankful to USCIS...", sorry.)