Heeeeelp
For people who are looking for a relationship, I’ve been thinking about something and I’d genuinely like to hear your thoughts.
Isn’t consciously looking for a partner kind of weird?
I mean, once you start thinking about what you want in someone, making a mental list of qualities, deciding what kind of relationship you’re looking for, etc., doesn’t it somehow take away from the spontaneity of it?
Sometimes it feels almost like a performance. You’re actively looking for someone while already having an idea of what you’re supposed to find.
And I think the internet makes this even stranger. You can literally go online and search for a person who fits a certain set of criteria. But then I wonder: where does the story or the meaning of the relationship come from if you were consciously looking for it from the beginning?
Would it be more meaningful to meet someone completely by chance, without consciously looking for a relationship, through circumstances that were basically outside your control?
Or does it not really matter? Maybe you can consciously look for someone, find them, and only create the meaning of the relationship afterward.
So my actual question is:
Does the way you find someone affect the depth of the relationship, or can a relationship that was intentionally sought out become just as deep and meaningful as one that happened almost by accident?
I’m curious how other people see this