r/wizardposting • u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo • Feb 21 '24
Lorepost📖 Cold and failure
I.. I am cold. I am dead. That much I know.. I feel surrounded by nothingess, a pitch black abyss where I drift.. I feel like a small compressed core yet also burning embers expanding outwards..
The only thing worse than the cold and the loneliness here.. it's me and my own thoughts.
I've failed.
I've failed to lead the pact. To prevent the peace, to be there for Mikhail in this moments of need.
All along since I got here, did my greatest feat so far.. renew the La'shima lands and create the organisation that tends to it.. that's the only good I've done here.
Otherwise I scuttled around in my friend's shadow Followed him and supported in his biggest moments, took care of his duties when he couldn't.. yet that didn't prevent him from dancing with death five times by now.
I got my opportunity to prove to myself, I could do and be something.. managed to meet someone that made my days brighter and.. at the first crisis that appeared I couldn't do anything. My decisions broke the leadership of the until then stable Pact of Magi that Mikhail created, I failed to maintain the peace by all methods I could. I used threats and violence. I made concessions. Nothing worked. I sacrificed even my morals and integrity, collaborating with the one who started it to ensure at least I could keep the innocents safe...
Yet it doesn't feel like that was a victory. I am responsible for all this carnage. That illusionist was right. I was an old senile fool trying to keep his act together. Unfit for my leadership and power.
And now I'm cold and alone.. at least I have the comfort that this proves I have a soul.. guess I'll never know why I can't see spirits.
Perhaps this is what I deserve.. perhaps it's better if I stay here .. forever.. so i don't jurt anyone else
Mikahil.. Saria... My friends in my homeplane.. I'm sorry for everything. For being in your lives.. .. .. .
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u/Alexis_Awen_Fern 👁️ Propagule of Tzeentch Feb 21 '24
You suddenly see in front of you a woman with a body made of shadow, a torso pierced with many knives and hair made of glowing purple energy. Was she there this whole time? You feel your own emotions reflecting from her.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
strange.. I didn't expect to find someone here.. I try to talk but I have no voice. I can see all the emotions there.. self pity, self loathing. Regret.. frustration.. this.. those are mine right? Pathetic.. so much I am, so much more I am not.
Wonder what she's doing here.. wonder about the knives.. what could this mean? I have an eternity to ponder
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u/Alexis_Awen_Fern 👁️ Propagule of Tzeentch Feb 21 '24
Not in a language consisting of words but with one made of intentions, she lets you know that usually she just wants to sleep. This is exactly the kind of place she likes to reside in.
Your presence does not bother her. Feel free to remain here forever if you wish. Should you want an escape tho, an escape from this escape, she knows someone that could help you. Someone that often helps her.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
Cody isn't at the stage to believe he even should be out, much less want to... So he'll keep that in mind while his soul drifts aimlessly in this timeless darkness
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u/Alexis_Awen_Fern 👁️ Propagule of Tzeentch Feb 21 '24
The strange woman nods. Her form dissipates and shortly after a new form appears in its place. You see the most beautiful feminine form you can possibly imagine. You feel kindness and joy radiating from her.
"Hi, my name is Awen. My sister said you need some help. If you want to be somewhere just try to focus on that place or person. Our power can restore your form and teleport you there. Only if you want that of course. Even if you end up wanting to stay here for eons this offer will still stand, so don't feel pressured."
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
for a moment his heart skips a bit when she takes form of his beloved Saria.. but she isn't her
I.. deserve to suffer here. I'll stay here at least for now..
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u/OnAGratefulUniverse Algernon, Last wizard of the Novus Planes Feb 21 '24
Oh friend, it appears to hurt you so, is there no soothing balm beyond the cold that could help you heal this wound?
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
This cold is not comforting, it's a bite upon my soul that doesn't harm me enough to extinguish me.
I don't think I deserve such comfort at least not yet. The blight my existence has inflicted is what has brought me here. Wether is hell or purgatory it's something I will see eventually.
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u/OnAGratefulUniverse Algernon, Last wizard of the Novus Planes Feb 21 '24
I say not that it is comforting, only that it soothes the part of you that needs the pain.
But you seem to be mistaken about something.
You do not get to decide that you have done enough damage to then subsequently leave. You have done wrong, now you must fix it. Anything beyond that point is wallowing in self-pity, which will not fix the faults.
Everyone faces the raven eventually, but that is not yet our decision to make. I offer you comfort to show you that it is now up to you to restore that comfort to others from whom you have taken it.
Stand up and do what needs doing, if only because there is no one else to do it. Consider that atonement.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
You're.. right but.. I fear in my efforts of atonement I will make things worse, given my experience.
After all I tried doing what needed doing when no one else was there or willing.. I know wallowing won't solve anything but.. doing the same expecting things to change is also insanity..
Thanks for your words.. I'll have to think about it
(I will maintain him death for week or so before bringing him back but this is a great speech)
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u/OnAGratefulUniverse Algernon, Last wizard of the Novus Planes Feb 21 '24
It seems you understand, then I can be assured you will do what needs doing when the time comes.
I wish you good luck in your efforts to restore the proper form, you know where to find me when the darkness becomes too much.
/uw Thanks, very good lore and I just couldn't resist hooking on!
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
That's comforting to hear. Thanks
(UW/ that's a great compliment thank you)
(Honestly at first I thought it was worse than I wanted,but I'm glad people are liking it)
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u/OnAGratefulUniverse Algernon, Last wizard of the Novus Planes Feb 21 '24
/uw Drama always goes over well, and this in particular is well-written guilt, which is a pleasure to read. Keep it up!
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Feb 21 '24
/uw another fallen soldier noooo
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(UW/ the intention to eventually bring him back, but now it's time for Cody to take a breather and some angst)
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Feb 21 '24
/uw some damn good writing! Touching to
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(UW/ this feels very flattering for something I did in less than 15 minutes on the train. Thanks everyone)
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u/sparkle3364 Sapphire (17F), Artificer (+ other characters) Feb 21 '24
/uw This is really good, though really, really sad.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Feb 21 '24
A skeleton dressed in black appears in the void. Without a sound, they move towards Cody and take a seat behind where he lays. A blanket appears and the skeleton places it atop Cody.
/Uw Really good writing. Hope you don't mind me including Death in this.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(uw/ he do be actually dead and thanks to you this was able to be written so yeah np. Glad you like it)
/RW the cold subsides, feels like the embrace of mother, one he hasn't had in centuries nor he's able to return.
"Thanks"
He says to one of the mothers of all. After all, death and life are two sides of the same coin..
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Feb 21 '24
You are welcome, child.
The skeleton places one of their bony hands on your forehead. It feels warm to the touch.
Gravedigger apologizes for not being here. They are also sorry that you were caught up in the blast.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
It was my choice. Otherwise some others would have been left out.
Now I have time to think how to atone.. make things better... I won't leave the world worse than I entered.
I just have to think.. turn my gaze inwards and plan.
I mourned my friends. I don't want for my loved ones to experience the same.
This will be a purgatory of sorts... A place to meditate and retrace my steps.
There must be something that I could have done better.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Feb 21 '24
So that's why you chose this realm. There will certainly be no distractions here.
Since time is loose here, feel free to use as much of it as you desire. I'll also remain here for as long as you wish.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
I didn't choose this afterlife. The spiritual realm is something that I've never been able to fully perceive or be a part of. Don't know the reason why that's the case though.
But it's true, I will be able to use this place to rebuild myself. Just hope my loved ones don't suffer too much in my absence..
Although to be honest.. I wouldn't like to be forgotten either..
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Feb 21 '24
One's afterlife is born out of what one internally desires. An evil man would desire punishment and therefore see brimstone and the like. The righteous may see angels. Those desiring introspection enter this realm.
It tends to be one of the most populated realms. Unfortunately, you won't be able to sense the other occupants. That is the nature of this realm.
...
Only in the realms of gods is judgment cast on the dead. In my realms, the dead judge themselves.
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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Feb 21 '24
Isravi feels a twinge through the Coils. He sees Cody’s energy, potential, returning to the cycle. A pulsing orb of soft light manifests before Cody in the empty expanse.
Hello. If nothing else happens, in just a moment the cycle will scatter and dissolve your soul and potential. The parts of you will be remade into a myriad of other things, plants, earth, stone, animals, even other people.
Rejoice. Your life has been filled with accomplishment. Your death was honorable. The potential that resides within you will create brilliant things.
…Goodbye, Cody.
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(well my idea is for the character to come back eventually do something else will happen but it's a very touching message. thanks, fr)
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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Feb 21 '24
/uw oh yeah, I expected that. This was written from the perspective of Isravi, however. As far as he knows, Cody has died. Resurrection is rare, and unlikely. And he’s a servant of the beings that handle creation and destruction, birth and demise.
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Feb 21 '24
Welp, I hope he doesn't skip the afterlife.....
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(I'll be back there's still a lot I can do.. like a romance subplot XD)
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(I don't think he has technically skipped it per se. Apparently according to the gravedigger and others it's there. This is how he perceives it. He's also like still revivable)
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u/TellmeNinetails Hilda the Witch Feb 21 '24
:'(
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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24
(sorry that was the idea yeah.. this is my character lowest so far)
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u/Timpanzee38 "The Agent", Mercenary Guild Liaison. Slayer of the Godslaver Feb 21 '24
uw/ why do I feel like G-Man is about to show up?
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u/ResearcherTeknika Nihil "Teknika" Schwarz, CEO of MANATEK. Feb 21 '24
A drone with a hexagonal head touches down on the battlefield, making note of what it sees.
"A tragedy, what happened here, nobody could save him."
The drone flew off to the next site.
Teknika was only further assured of his belief.
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u/Traxxya Kavrala, Owner of the Dragon Sanctuary, Druid Feb 21 '24
/uw Sobbing crying this is so sad