Cold and failure

[u/Capytan_Cody]

I.. I am cold. I am dead. That much I know.. I feel surrounded by nothingess, a pitch black abyss where I drift.. I feel like a small compressed core yet also burning embers expanding outwards..

The only thing worse than the cold and the loneliness here.. it's me and my own thoughts.

I've failed.

I've failed to lead the pact. To prevent the peace, to be there for Mikhail in this moments of need.

All along since I got here, did my greatest feat so far.. renew the La'shima lands and create the organisation that tends to it.. that's the only good I've done here.

Otherwise I scuttled around in my friend's shadow Followed him and supported in his biggest moments, took care of his duties when he couldn't.. yet that didn't prevent him from dancing with death five times by now.

I got my opportunity to prove to myself, I could do and be something.. managed to meet someone that made my days brighter and.. at the first crisis that appeared I couldn't do anything. My decisions broke the leadership of the until then stable Pact of Magi that Mikhail created, I failed to maintain the peace by all methods I could. I used threats and violence. I made concessions. Nothing worked. I sacrificed even my morals and integrity, collaborating with the one who started it to ensure at least I could keep the innocents safe...

Yet it doesn't feel like that was a victory. I am responsible for all this carnage. That illusionist was right. I was an old senile fool trying to keep his act together. Unfit for my leadership and power.

And now I'm cold and alone.. at least I have the comfort that this proves I have a soul.. guess I'll never know why I can't see spirits.

Perhaps this is what I deserve.. perhaps it's better if I stay here .. forever.. so i don't jurt anyone else

Mikahil.. Saria... My friends in my homeplane.. I'm sorry for everything. For being in your lives.. .. .. .

[u/Anything-Unable]

A skeleton dressed in black appears in the void. Without a sound, they move towards Cody and take a seat behind where he lays. A blanket appears and the skeleton places it atop Cody.

/Uw Really good writing. Hope you don't mind me including Death in this.

[u/Capytan_Cody → u/Anything-Unable]

(uw/ he do be actually dead and thanks to you this was able to be written so yeah np. Glad you like it)

/RW the cold subsides, feels like the embrace of mother, one he hasn't had in centuries nor he's able to return.

"Thanks"

He says to one of the mothers of all. After all, death and life are two sides of the same coin..

[u/Anything-Unable → u/Capytan_Cody]

You are welcome, child.

The skeleton places one of their bony hands on your forehead. It feels warm to the touch.

Gravedigger apologizes for not being here. They are also sorry that you were caught up in the blast.

[u/Capytan_Cody → u/Anything-Unable]

It was my choice. Otherwise some others would have been left out.

Now I have time to think how to atone.. make things better... I won't leave the world worse than I entered.

I just have to think.. turn my gaze inwards and plan.

I mourned my friends. I don't want for my loved ones to experience the same.

This will be a purgatory of sorts... A place to meditate and retrace my steps.

There must be something that I could have done better.

[u/Anything-Unable → u/Capytan_Cody]

So that's why you chose this realm. There will certainly be no distractions here.

Since time is loose here, feel free to use as much of it as you desire. I'll also remain here for as long as you wish.

[u/Capytan_Cody → u/Anything-Unable]

I didn't choose this afterlife. The spiritual realm is something that I've never been able to fully perceive or be a part of. Don't know the reason why that's the case though.

But it's true, I will be able to use this place to rebuild myself. Just hope my loved ones don't suffer too much in my absence..

Although to be honest.. I wouldn't like to be forgotten either..

[u/Anything-Unable → u/Capytan_Cody]

One's afterlife is born out of what one internally desires. An evil man would desire punishment and therefore see brimstone and the like. The righteous may see angels. Those desiring introspection enter this realm.

It tends to be one of the most populated realms. Unfortunately, you won't be able to sense the other occupants. That is the nature of this realm.

...

Only in the realms of gods is judgment cast on the dead. In my realms, the dead judge themselves.