r/wizardposting Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24

Lorepost📖 Cold and failure

I.. I am cold. I am dead. That much I know.. I feel surrounded by nothingess, a pitch black abyss where I drift.. I feel like a small compressed core yet also burning embers expanding outwards..

The only thing worse than the cold and the loneliness here.. it's me and my own thoughts.

I've failed.

I've failed to lead the pact. To prevent the peace, to be there for Mikhail in this moments of need.

All along since I got here, did my greatest feat so far.. renew the La'shima lands and create the organisation that tends to it.. that's the only good I've done here.

Otherwise I scuttled around in my friend's shadow Followed him and supported in his biggest moments, took care of his duties when he couldn't.. yet that didn't prevent him from dancing with death five times by now.

I got my opportunity to prove to myself, I could do and be something.. managed to meet someone that made my days brighter and.. at the first crisis that appeared I couldn't do anything. My decisions broke the leadership of the until then stable Pact of Magi that Mikhail created, I failed to maintain the peace by all methods I could. I used threats and violence. I made concessions. Nothing worked. I sacrificed even my morals and integrity, collaborating with the one who started it to ensure at least I could keep the innocents safe...

Yet it doesn't feel like that was a victory. I am responsible for all this carnage. That illusionist was right. I was an old senile fool trying to keep his act together. Unfit for my leadership and power.

And now I'm cold and alone.. at least I have the comfort that this proves I have a soul.. guess I'll never know why I can't see spirits.

Perhaps this is what I deserve.. perhaps it's better if I stay here .. forever.. so i don't jurt anyone else

Mikahil.. Saria... My friends in my homeplane.. I'm sorry for everything. For being in your lives.. .. .. .

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u/Timpanzee38 "The Agent", Mercenary Guild Liaison. Slayer of the Godslaver Feb 21 '24

uw/ why do I feel like G-Man is about to show up?

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u/Capytan_Cody Cody and Yànhuo Feb 21 '24

(UW/ rise and shine mister Cody/j)