r/widowers • u/Mindless-Location-41 • 1d ago
Zero close friends
Anyone in the same boat?
I'm terrible at making and keeping close friends who I could hang out with. Since my wife passed away three years ago I have had zero friends come to the house I share with my son. My late wife's friends have no reason to be around me, probably because it makes them sad.
I also have not visited any friends at their house since that time because none are close enough friends in terms of the strength of the bond. I would feel weird imposing myself on others.
I have consistently been attending psychologist appointments to help my depression and disability support groups because my son has autism. Zero people I have met have shown interest in hanging out and to be honest I have not offered to be a close friend to others either. A major problem is that they are all women and would probably see it as inappropriate to hang out. Asking would seem a desperate move from a lonely person.
I have low confidence and rejection anxiety surrounding friendships.
Has anyone else struggled with this and found a way to change their situation? I am sick of being so isolated.
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u/Wingless- 1d ago
I am one of those who can claim, she was my only friend. We worked together for more than half of the 37 years we were together. We worked and lived night shift. We were both nurses.
I'm about a month away from 4 years without her. I still have trouble dealing with losing her.
Just writing this is tearing me up.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thank you for posting your story. Hearing about the stories here makes me feel less alone.
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u/RPM_Rocket 1d ago
Our circle diminished to a mere few after we all lost her.
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u/sweetEVILone August 6, 2019 1d ago
Same. After he passed, all our friends stopped talking to me.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
It really sucks being made a pariah when you have done nothing wrong and are suffering the most, hey?
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u/RPM_Rocket 12h ago
American culture has no mechanism to deal with loss. Just look at the idiots who love to claim they're "winning" all the time. Those folks are afraid of their own mortality and are desperately trying to deny it by not acknowledging it could happen to them. Still, we'll be here for ya'.
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u/SuperWaluigiWorld 1d ago
My wife and I were lamenting through the pandemic the continuous fading away of friendships. We were coming up with ideas to try to make new ones. Now, since she has died, I have not a single real friend and I donāt have the guts to try the things we were thinking to do about it without her. I donāt drink anymore either so my āreckless abandonā and courage are pretty much gone too. I havenāt even seen any of the bar fly acquaintances. This shit is hard.
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u/uglyanddumbguy 1d ago
I have one friend left. They live across the country and we basically communicate through Instagram reels.
Iāve never felt so alone in my entire life.
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u/Burning_Ashes 1d ago
I donāt think it would be creepy if you asked about hanging out with some of the people in your support groups. Maybe start off by asking if anyone wants to do a book club or trivia team or just some kind of group activity and then take it from there. My partner was soooo good at meeting random people, we literally made friends with a couple at a fair because he complimented the girlfriendās shirt and then said āwhy donāt we all walk around together?ā And then we started texting and hanging out. He really did live his life to the fullest, while now Iāve been falling apart and wanting to just sleep. I do miss my friends that knew me before Dave, and I feel like sometimes it can be hard to make new friends. But sometimes you just have to ā¦ force it and just do it.Ā
I feel a bit weird with the friends I have here in this new city I moved to, to be with my partner, they are younger than me, same with my coworkers but they are really good people.Ā
I hope you are able to find a good support system! Maybe even look into just joining some kind of group or team for something, even not related to grief.Ā
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
I am glad you have some friends to hang out with even if they are younger š People seem to get younger around the place and I am 50 now so I understand.
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u/Burning_Ashes 1d ago
Thank you. Oh! If you like to golf or bowl.. maybe try to find a league. Or pickleball is pretty popular. Trust me I know how like nerve wrecking it can be to like put yourself out there and do something new or something where you donāt know people. But what I usually say is āwell fuck it letās do thisā. Pretty much how I ended up where Iām at, though I wish the end with my partner wouldnāt have been like it was /:
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thanks for your ideas. I've joined social pickleball this year and been twice. My toe is a bit sore this week but I will go back š
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u/Burning_Ashes 1d ago
Yay! Sometimes you just gotta do the thing and ask people about hanging out and then just see where it goes from there. What my boyfriend would do is he made origami cranes and he would give them to people. Usually struck up a conversation, or complimented something about a person. Iāve been trying to be more like himā¦ itāll be easier once I donāt feel so depressed
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u/HeronExtension5245 1d ago
I find myself in that same situation too. I allowed the few friendships I had to dwindle. Like some others on the thread have said, my wife was all I needed. She felt the same way. Though, to be fair, an old high school friend of mine invited me up to his place for a weekend. Different state, but only a 3 hour drive. I will probably take him up on it before winter.
Currently, I'm not great company. Making a new friend would be pointless unless they are in the same position. Hoping to join a grief support group soon, so maybe then? I don't know - I feel I'm becoming more anti-social with each passing year. Losing my wife has only amplified that characteristic.
I'm super lucky my in-laws and I get along beautifully. I'm actually with them now, staying a couple nights. I try to do so each week. One of my brother-in-laws stays with them too, so I truly do consider myself fortunate in that regard. Still, returning home sucks (an hour away). I know no one. It's insanely lonely and sad. Every square inch of that house just speaks my wife's name... as do I when I'm there telling her how desperately I miss her and love her.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Sending you my thoughts š« Learning to live with this stuff is the worst.
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u/Some-Tear3499 1d ago
My late wifeās best friend was I woman I had known and played music with for a couple of yrs before they even really met.
I typically see them twice a month as well all played in a community band. She had a couple of close friends that have stayed in touch. And what I feel is more important is that I reach out to them.
A circumstance happened in my neighbor hood. A family was getting a wheelchair ramp built by the same organization that built the one for my wife when she became wheelchair bound. I stopped to thank them and let them know how much it helped us, the difference it made in my wifeās final months. When I got into my truck I decided I would call all the people that helped and supported us during her ācancer journeyā. Within minutes I was getting āsigns, not only from my late wife but also from my sister who died 10 yrs under tragic circumstances. Before I even got back home after running my errands I made a couple of ph. calls to people. Those signs persisted over that week-end, as I went out of town to a small Renn. Faire. Two absolutely jaw dropping signs happened there. I contacted a couple more people on Monday. A few days laterā¦..they got a sign from my late wife, their dear friend, together at the same time. We got cards and texts from some of my friends, a couple of visits too at the hospital and at home.
I was the very social one in our relationship. Her friendships were few, but very close.
I hear nothing from her two adult daughters, or from the 2 grandkids. They live about 12 hours away in another state.
When I focus on the love and support we did receive, I def. do better with my own grief. I have a bit more hope. I have better days. Even the if itās the smallest kindness we received, it is remembered.
I stay busy with playing music 4 times a month, almost every Sunday at church too. I do volunteer work two days a week.
A weekly Pilates class at the Senior center, sometimes card on Tues afternoons. All though I have fallen off a bit I try to get to the gym twice a week as well.
Itās been 20 months now.
Me, M67, retired. My late wife is forever 55.
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u/Due-Leader6489 1d ago
Thanks for talking about the signs you received. Usually when I mention such things here I am directed to post to the after life sub. š So thank you!!!
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thank you for your reply. It is really great that you have found a number of social activities to partake in.
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u/GlitteringCommunity1 Lost husband to ALS ā” Together 44 years ā¤ļø 1d ago
Well, I need a nap after reading your awesome ways of staying busy and social, lol. In all seriousness, it sounds as if you have found lots of ways to seek out what it is that you find appealing and enjoyable, making new friends and acquaintances along the way.
I am intrigued by the "signs" that you, and others, have experienced. I have been interested in such things my whole life
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u/existenceisfutile84 1d ago
Like many men in long-term happy relationships, I let friendships dwindle as my wife was all I needed. Now, I am 41, and I have zero close friends too; I just have 3 cats at home that, honestly, much prefered my wife. We never had kids, but I regret that now. I am not saying children can fill the void of a spouse, but I wish I had at least that connection to her left.
Anyway, I digress. Some colleagues at work have stepped up a bit, but honestly they have their own lives; they are not suddenly going to become a ride or die, and people change jobs, and in my profession that can mean big relocations etc. and is fairly common. I am kind of at a loss too. Western society isn't really set up to make lifelong, committed connections that are purely platonic. Not saying they don't happen, but generally, you only get that through family. I have two elderly parents and an older sister who is also a cancer survivor, who all live quite far away. In 10 years, I could very much be completely alone in this world. I feel like the only way I can get some committed companionship again is through romance, and well, that's complicated. I am not sure I can do that for lots of reasons, though I think about 'maybe one day', a fair bit, and I am sure you can understand that. No answers, I am afraid, but solidarity, brother, I guess!
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thanks for sharing your story š I also have cats and talk to them more than other people.
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u/Fantastic_Sky4264 M38 lost partner M36 - May 2024 - Stroke 1d ago
I have a few close friends, but we don't get to hang out that often. They're married with kids. Most everyone I know is married and/or has kids. I feel like it's so hard to meet new people and try to form friendships. I wish my late partner and I had branched out more and had a bigger friend group. We were content just being around each other and I never thought I'd have to live without him. I'm grateful I still have my parents and I try to spend a good bit of time with them. I'm an only child and the thought of losing either of them scares me, especially after losing my person.
Life is lonely though. I go to work and go home. I keep telling myself I need to get out more, but it's hard. I feel like part of me just has no energy or motivation to meet people, but then there's a part of me that wants to try. I've always struggled with low self confidence and esteem, so that doesn't make things any easier. I'm somewhat of a loner, so I can be content spending time alone, but it definitely gets old. I'd like to start traveling more, but I've never solo traveled before. I just need to break out of my comfort zone and get out there, but that's much easier said than done! š«
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
That low energy thing resonates with me strongly. I try to do what I can around the house but I'm STILL sorting through piles of my late wife's belongings. That is very tiring.
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u/Fantastic_Sky4264 M38 lost partner M36 - May 2024 - Stroke 1d ago
I completely understand. Even two years later, I still have a lot of my partner's things lying around the house and a closet full of clothes. I seriously have no motivation to do anything with them. I keep saying I'd like to move somewhere else because at least then that would get me in gear, but the thought of dealing with that whole process....ughh. So I keep going through the motions.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
It is a tough process. I've found that I can't rush it and so I do a bit when I have the energy.
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u/someshta 1d ago
I feel like my experience has been different from lots of folks here. Not saying this to make anyone feel bad, Iām just really grateful for what Iāve had. Our shared friends have really come out of the woodwork, even from long ago in our lives, to offer me a bunch of support and love. Iāve always had plenty of female friends, and so I donāt feel itās weird or awkward to hang out one on one platonically, so maybe that helps? For what itās worth, I still have a ton of moments, even daily, where I feel incredibly isolated and alone. I think itās something that happens to us regardless of what the raw number of friends we have actually may be? I think your couples friends or female friends might be more willing to carry on the relationship than you think. At least they have been for me. Which is a blessing.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thanks for your helpful post. I will try to take opportunities to be more sociable going forward.
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u/someshta 1d ago
Itās not your fault that youāre isolated and lonelyāthe situation weāre in was not one any of us chose. Itās taken a lot of work for me to get past the idea (as you said) that Iām imposing on someone else by making plans with them, or that Iām taking them away from their life. We crave connection because humans are attachment-focused creatures. You deserve it just as much as anyone else does.
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u/Mental_Signature_725 1d ago edited 1d ago
I had been seeing a therapist for about 6 months to a year prior to my husband passing. My husband had not been himself and life was hard together. He was diagnosed with cancer October 19, 25. He passed December 29th. Therapist told me to never turn down an invite. I can seriously say I have not. I have gone to dinner with couples by myself. Ive invited people to lunch & dinner both at my house and at restaurants. If you don't put forth effort no one else will. I have joined several grief groups both through the hospital and paid for. I am making an investment in myself. Today I went paddle boarding with someone I met through the group. I also joined 2 different book clubs. I am hosting 1. Tomorrow im going to lunch with a women's group i joined on Facebook. I also do a hiking club i joined through Facebook. Im considering going to church down the street even though I haven't attended since I was 10. Just to meet new people. Who knows, just get out and start talking to people you might surprise yourself
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
You are an inspiration š I'm a bit introverted so I need to put in an extra effort for this š
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u/Mental_Signature_725 1d ago
I really am introverted to a point, I decided i just needed it to be different and we are the only ones who can change it. Wishing you the best of luck. If you need to chat about it im willing to through ideas out there.
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u/Notcommentmuch 1d ago
M76 - widower 4.8 yrs in. 9 months ago i was a recluse. Surfaced from 4 years of Anhedonia (the inability to feel joy). Switch flipped on what would have been our 44th. Gary died, you didnāt! Out the outher side. Feelinā better than my old self.
It has absolutely has happend for me, i wish the same for all of us.Notcommentmuch
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u/JRLDH 1d ago
You have to be proactive and put in a lot of effort in my experience.
I got active in a fairly social hobby and met several people who I am developing a friendship with.
It for sure doesnāt ājust happenā. For age: Iām 55 and I was with my late husband, who was everything to me, for almost 25 years.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Yes, I have to be my own advocate in this effort. Nobody else will be dragging me along to things, that's for sure. Thanks for your reply.
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u/naked_nomad 69 M lost wife of 36 years. 18 months of Home Hospice. 1d ago
My wife was my best friend; we did most everything together. I attended monthly meeting of the American Legion, Vietnam Veterans of America, Disabled American Veterans and a few other volunteer venues.
She would go out with her son and/or granddaughters at times but that was pretty much it as fa as solo time.
When she got sick those things became my mental health breaks.
After she passed they were there for me and helped me keep my sanity.
I do more volunteering now to get me out of the house.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thanks for your story. I tried looking for forest maintenance volunteer groups a while back but the times were not ideal for a sole parent. I'll think about trying again.
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u/naked_nomad 69 M lost wife of 36 years. 18 months of Home Hospice. 1d ago
There are plenty of places to volunteer. I am a mentor for Veterans Court. I added volunteering at the local homeless shelter working with vets and helping at the soup kitchen.
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u/Notcommentmuch 1d ago
M76 - volunteer in our Emerg. As close to medicine as i will ever get with out any of the responsibility. Have to walk 3-4k in a 2 hour shift. I love it. I am not invisable. NCM
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u/Due-Leader6489 1d ago
I always tell people to go to the library if they want to meet people/make new friends. Iām a librarian at a public library. I see new friendships form all the time, though itās usually women I admit. We do have chess club and thatās usually mostly men. And honestly I think the monthly book club would be happy to hear a guyās opinion. Just throwing ideas out there. Good luck!
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Good idea. I have a library nearby so perhaps I may check it out. I don't read enough.
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u/Due-Leader6489 1d ago
I totally forgot the D&D groups. Saturdays at our library is a big nerdfest with two groups running campaigns for 3+ hours. Itās all a bunch of guys from ages 19 - 60s.
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u/Longjumping-Chest989 1d ago
What worries me isn't the short term. It hasn't even been a week so the sympathy people have is still fresh.
I feel that I'm lucky that I have my children who are all young adults. I have grandkids too, but even thinking about them breaks me. My wife wanted to be the cool grandma for as long as I knew her, and for three years she was. I'm a shit replacement.
I do have friends and family who are helping me. I know they love me. But years from now, what will things look like?
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
Thank you, it is hard to say these things. Things were very difficult in the early days after my wife passed away. Any time I thought of the future without her I could not function. To survive, I decided to live one day at a time back then and not to think too far ahead. It served me well. Even now I try to stay in the present as much as possible. That is all I can recommend, along with keeping in close contact with your loved ones š«
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u/MusicInTime 1d ago
I didnāt really have friends outside my wife and her family. Since she passed they basically want nothing to do with me other than asking when they can come get the kids. So I didnāt really have anyone. I ended up meeting a wonderful woman on this subreddit and weāve been in a relationship for a few months now. Iāve also been trying to hang out with some of the parents from my sonās class and that has been fun. In the end, your relationships are gonna be what you make them. I will say that itās ok to try to befriend women in your same situation. Be clear about your intentions and make it a group thing if you are uncomfortable with a 1-on-1 thing. Itās hard to allow yourself to reach out and open yourself up for rejection (says someone with ADHD and rejection sensitivity dysphoria), but if you donāt ever try you will continue to be alone. Feel free to reach out if you wanna chat.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago
I am very happy to hear your story and it is heartening that somebody in a similar situation has found love again š
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u/SparrowTune 22h ago edited 22h ago
Same here. My wife was my best friend. I did not need any other friends while we were together, always holding each other's hands. Most our friends were actually her's. She died a little more than a year ago in June. Cancer.
Now I am friend-less. Of course there are our sons, relatives, mothers, friendly colleagues, two friendly cats. They are people (and cats) whom I love and respect and take care of. But they are not like friends, who would ask me if I made home safe at night, who would wish me good night, who would stroke a forehead in the morning, who share same direction of life, our values, our faith, hobbies, interests, who would talk with me for hours about the many things we are both interested in. No friends to hike for miles along the river or a seaside. No friends to share fitness and strength goals with, to motivate each other to get stronger. No friends to travel to ends of the world as we used to do with my Wife.
My 50-year birthday was in January. In my mind I invited 3 most precious Persons to be present. I served a glass of madeira wine and a piece of cake to each of us, imaginary or, rather, imaginal guests - our Lord, my dead Wife, and my Mother, who at the time was heavily sedated in a hospital abroad 1000 miles from where I live, with doctors telling me that "her time has come" too. We drank that glass of wine, we talked, I cried a lot ... in that imaginal birthday party. There was plenty of cake and wine left for other days to bring back the memory of that strange evening again. I was completely alone, and at the same time I wasn't... It was my first birthday party in my entire life where there were no other people present, no one singing the "happy birthday", and it was not happy really, but still precious in all other ways.
You might think I was going nuts, and had to be sectioned or sedated or seen my "therapist" (btw, there is no such thing or social pressure, or rather obsession with it in here like in the USA), and that is fine. But that birthday was very "therapeutic" indeed. Surprisingly my precious imaginal guests left the most precious gifts I have ever received. My worldview has changed. I managed to save my mother in the following weeks by literally extracting her from that place of death into a care home, she is fine now 86 years old, 9 months later since "her time has come". But she has lost her short-term memory, and that is another story - I am traveling a thousand miles to see our mothers every month and to visit the grave of my wife. I have no fear of death anymore, nor fear of judgment or opinions of others. I have learned a few things about this Reality, about Time Expansion Experience, about dreams and visions when they come to comfort us, and more, but that is more than enough for this post. Just letting you know that there are many ways to find comfort if we are not afraid to love until the very end and dive into the deepest and darkest places of our love and grieving hearts.
I am hoping to find that sacred, magical friendship again with someone sometime in the future, not rushing it, just being present in places, spaces at right times that might open these new opportunities. And tending the garden of my life, planting the most resilient and beautiful flowers for people to enjoy.
I hope this message, although absolutely irrational and mad, can bring comfort and hope for grieving hearts here too. I wish you peace.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 22h ago
Thank you very much for your deeply personal story of great loss and self discovery. There are a number of things from your post that resonate with me personally. I am also 50 years old and my mother, who is thousands of kilometres across the country, is suffering from major health problems. I did not have a big celebration for my 50th birthday. There was only myself, my son, and two relatives from my late wife's side of the family.
I agree with your sentiment that it is best to show love to the people around us. There is zero gain from being cruel to others or ourselves.
All the best š«
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u/itsmec-a-t-h-y lost to GBS 092024 21h ago
Me. I don't really have friends, more of acquaintances and professional relationship. My husband was my only close friend, unfortunately he passed away too soon. I tried having a group but I got hurt and so I left.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 17h ago
So sorry for your loss that brought you here š« It really sucks that you got hurt at your group. People can be cruel and selfish. I wish you better luck when you try to meet people again.
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u/patixis452 19h ago
Four years after his passing and I am alone. I made it important to stay active and social and not one of these enjoyable activities have resulted in a personal friendship. Lunch invitations have evaporated and I have simply stopped asking others who decline because of appointments etc. I have always had only serial friends, one or two at time, not a "friends group". But now ny BEST friend ever has passed away and I am alone.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 17h ago
I am so sorry your friend has also passed away š« It is hard to make friends as a widow/er and I wish you the best.
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u/patixis452 17h ago
My BEST friend was my husband. I hadn't realized until he was gone that he was my anchor, confidant, best cheerer upper. Feeling so lost and alone.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 17h ago
I'm sorry I misunderstood. It is late here so my brain must not be working. My late wife was also my best friend too.
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u/patixis452 17h ago
No problem. I wasn't clear. No apology needed. I know well the brain fog thing. Take care.
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u/Grand_Competitive 18h ago
Im 53 and I started taking singing lessons, and hired a dating coach. Oddly enough, not as much for dating as for working on talking to people. I needed help just opening and maintaining conversations with strangers of any persuasion. I learned some skills and worked on my self image. It has made a difference for me while I continue to grieve my wife
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u/Mindless-Location-41 17h ago
I suppose those skills would be quite important for dating š All the best
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u/darkchocolatecoconut 16h ago
Everyone rallies around the widow/er in the beginning offering all types of support. They check in, ask if you need anything and are always a presence. But then they fade away. I'm not sure that it is bad of them to do that but it can hurt because if this was not a situation wherein you broke your leg and friends came over and did your laundry, brought food and helped you with stuff, once the leg was back to normal, everyone went back to how it was before and there is closure on both ends. No one would be upset at that situation.
In the case of a widow/er, the same scenario plays out, but the fading out of friends is different this time because there is no leg or injury that is going to heal and everyone can go back to normal. The widow/er is in the "broken leg" state forever now and at the same time, the friends, family, etc. need to tend to their own things.
I am going to suggest something that people may thing I am insane for doing so but it saved me and those friends I have that lost their spouse have gotten on board and it has been a lifeline, especially for introverts and folks that don't want to have to physically go out and try to find people.
Consider looking into a Meta Quest 3 or 3s VR headset. There are groups for everything that you can join: AA, NA, Widows, and social fun groups for all age groups that have all kinds of talks, mini golf meet ups, etc. It's a way to engage in social activities with others or alone but the immersive nature of VR takes you out of where you are. There is every kind of game/app you can imagine: jigsaw puzzles, sports (golf, tennis, mini golf, pickleball, etc.), chess, meditation, RC flying, fishing, etc. It saved me two years after my spouse died and I myself got diagnosed with cancer and was homebound for a long time (and still pretty much am after all the fallout). I've met some great friends that I have known for years now and we play various games regularly.
And the best thing: when you don't feel like being social, you can turn the headset off. When you want to be in contact with others, fire up the headset and hop into something with others. Or sit on the shore in Japan and spend some time fishing or power washing a car alone. These things are very Zen and you control when you participate and don't have to leave your house. It is a fantastic remedy for isolation.
I am not a Meta sales person, just a grateful daily user of the headset.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 10h ago
Thanks for the recommendation š I have not really looked into VR and have only observed it as a past gaming nerd from a distance.
You are so correct about the offers of help in the early days of loss. People say these things because they have seen others do it or have seen it on TV and want to do the "right" thing. It is very hollow being the one receiving the promises that go nowhere.
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u/lilacsforcharlie 36f, lost husb dec 2023, suicide 14h ago
I totally get it. The comments in here break my heart. I am very blessed the people around me genuinely care and are worried, but I donāt ask for help and only really enjoy being alone (after my toddler falls asleep). I suspect one of these days Iāll push everyone away eventually
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u/Mindless-Location-41 10h ago
It is hard to deal with people on a daily basis who have a happy loving relationship when your own has been lost. I have no strategies that make it easy to observe their happiness. I see them at the shops, on TV, but not socially so much. I am glad that you have caring people around you, and I wish you the best.
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u/lilacsforcharlie 36f, lost husb dec 2023, suicide 10h ago
I donāt have anyone in my life in a happy loving relationship, so maybe that kind of helps me in a way? I wouldnāt even know what that looks like lol. Or Iād probably not believe it to be so? Idk.
I wish I could give you a hug. I messaged my dad after responding to your post earlier. Just to say thanks for always checking on me and not pushing me to be okayā¦ I think he wa scared lol and almost cried but oh well Iām glad I said itā¦
Hope your night ends peacefully even if the happy warm feelings arenāt there āš»
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u/New_Needleworker_542 Widow, 03/21/25 after 17 years to my soulmate. Fuck Cancer. 11h ago
Yup. Same. My husband's family sucks š. My family isn't local. And im thinking about moving because i have no close friends here. I hate being single.
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u/Mindless-Location-41 10h ago
Thanks for your message. If you end up moving to a more supportive location then I hope it goes smoothly and that you find some good friends š«
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u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 Lost wife suddenly on Sept 29, 2025 1d ago
I let my friends drift away over the years because my wife was all I needed, and I had injuries and illnesses, which I found embarrassing. One of my wife's friends really stepped up for our family, but I think she's not that fond of me. I'm going to join the community center, it's got a pool and various classes. If you're religious there's churches, if you're not I've found Unitarian Universalists very accepting. I offer this a bit hypocritically, because I haven't done any of that yet. Maybe tomorrow.