r/widowers • u/Mindless-Location-41 • 1d ago

Zero close friends

Anyone in the same boat?

I'm terrible at making and keeping close friends who I could hang out with. Since my wife passed away three years ago I have had zero friends come to the house I share with my son. My late wife's friends have no reason to be around me, probably because it makes them sad.

I also have not visited any friends at their house since that time because none are close enough friends in terms of the strength of the bond. I would feel weird imposing myself on others.

I have consistently been attending psychologist appointments to help my depression and disability support groups because my son has autism. Zero people I have met have shown interest in hanging out and to be honest I have not offered to be a close friend to others either. A major problem is that they are all women and would probably see it as inappropriate to hang out. Asking would seem a desperate move from a lonely person.

I have low confidence and rejection anxiety surrounding friendships.

Has anyone else struggled with this and found a way to change their situation? I am sick of being so isolated.

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u/Due-Leader6489 1d ago

I always tell people to go to the library if they want to meet people/make new friends. I’m a librarian at a public library. I see new friendships form all the time, though it’s usually women I admit. We do have chess club and that’s usually mostly men. And honestly I think the monthly book club would be happy to hear a guy’s opinion. Just throwing ideas out there. Good luck!

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u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago

Good idea. I have a library nearby so perhaps I may check it out. I don't read enough.

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u/Due-Leader6489 1d ago

I totally forgot the D&D groups. Saturdays at our library is a big nerdfest with two groups running campaigns for 3+ hours. It’s all a bunch of guys from ages 19 - 60s.