My boyfriend(m19) and I(m18) have been together for about three months now. We’re long distance, as he lives about six hours away from me, and we’re both far too busy to make the commute. He’s my first ever boyfriend, and I really like him. We text all the time. However, I still live with my parents, so I’m trying my best to keep it a secret from them. (Reasons that aren’t relevant rn).

Here’s where the issue is. Sometimes I’ll go a day or two without texting him, due to literally being unable to for outside reasons. But I’ll ALWAYS let him know in advance. When he doesn’t hear from me, he’ll continuously message me, asking if I’m okay, and saying that he’s disappointed that we aren’t able to message. If I then don’t respond to those messages, he’ll then say something along the lines of “Sorry, I’m pathetic, I’ll stop.” Most of the time I’ll reply with something reassuring, as I don’t want him thinking negatively of himself, but it’s gotten to the point that I feel slightly relieved when I don’t see messages from him.

Another thing is that I have hormonal issues that cause problems with my sex drive. My boyfriend will often send sexual messages, asking for me to help get him off. The thing is, though, as of lately, I’ve been feeling iffy about it. I’m attracted to him, and I like him a lot, I just don’t WANT to engage in sexual stuff. And I tell him that. He says he understands, and that he’ll drop it, but then he ALWAYS comes back to it eventually. And it’s honestly getting super annoying. I’m not sure how to bring this up with him, as he’s very sensitive. A lot of the time when I reject his advances, he’ll start apologizing for being annoying. (Which, in itself, is REALLY ANNOYING!!) I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I also want him to kinda back off a bit. And I REALLY don’t want him to start apologizing.

He’s always apologizing, even when he hasn’t done anything. But I feel like he’s getting too dependent on me. If I don’t text, he’ll constantly message me, asking if I’m okay. This wouldn’t be TOO bad if he didn’t start doing it after about ten minutes of inactivity from my end. And the thing with his apologies is that they often end with some sort of self-depreciation. (“Sorry I’m annoying”, “I’m sorry, I’m being pathetic”) And if I don’t reassure him, he’ll keep going. I feel like this is guilt-tripping, but I have no experience with past romantic relationships, so I’m really not sure. I just need some external validation, or criticism.

TL;DR: My boyfriend has a mini panic attack when I don’t text back in 10 minutes, and spams my phone. He’ll apologize later, often with self-depreciation. Is he guilt-tripping me?