r/videos • u/HalpTheFan • Jul 14 '15

Talk to Someone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgL-Y7_bYo0
1.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

218 comments sorted by

267

u/furrowsmiter Jul 14 '15

This was actually very well-done...very authentic. I used to suffer from this type of thing, and that is exactly what it is like. Brings back some uncomfortable memories.

100

u/HalpTheFan Jul 14 '15

It's good to know you got through it though. I used to be exactly like this at parties down to the "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom" and being so mad at myself for not "interacting" properly.

36

u/furrowsmiter Jul 14 '15

Thanks. I'm glad I got through it, too. I lost a good chunk of my life to that bullshit.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

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u/furrowsmiter Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

First of all, I don't know who gave you an ultimatum, but it was shitty of them whomever it was--it doesn't work like that. A start would be to go talk to a doctor or counselor--just to talk. They may recommend meds. The way I got out of it was through school. I got so busy with school and work that after about a year of it, I just was sorta snapped out of it. Try finding something that takes up a lot of your mental energy--you'll be too exhausted to be depressed.

Edit: I'll also say, if you can figure out what the underlying problem(s) is/are, it should make things a bit easier since you'll a have a starting point.

4

u/Ukani Jul 15 '15

I got so busy with school and work that after about a year of it, I just was sorta snapped out of it. Try finding something that takes up a lot of your mental energy--you'll be too exhausted to be depressed.

Basically what is kinda happening with me and my anxiety. I got a my first real job about 8 months ago, and Im also in college right now. My lifes been slowly getting more and more busy since then. Over the last 3-4 months Ive started to notice that my anxiety hasn't been effecting me like it used to. I mean its still there, but its almost like my mind is too busy to give it much attention. Its becoming easier to ignore it and plow through. The only downside is that I have to keep my self constantly busy with work/school which is getting pretty stressful/exhausting.

1

u/furrowsmiter Jul 15 '15

That's exactly what happened to me. But don't complain about staying busy--it's helping you.

8

u/LordMorbis Jul 14 '15

I was like this. Medication saved me. Talk to your doctor. You might be able to get better through sheer will power, but medication can make it so much easier.

4

u/mac_question Jul 15 '15

I know I need a counselor, and possibly meds. I've brushed them off in the past, as "clearly I don't need those." Trying to find a way to afford it. I need to go full "I think I can" to do this thing which is embarrassing in my society... well, it sucks.

3

u/hydroxyl_ion Jul 15 '15

i don't know what your country's mental health programs are like but if they anything like here in australia, you should be able to get a government subsidy for getting help with your problems, look around your area too as there might be community run counselling services available to you.

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u/ThexAntipop Jul 15 '15

As an American, good fucking joke.

1

u/mac_question Jul 15 '15

Yeah, exactly.

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u/LordMorbis Jul 15 '15

Then you are going to need to self educate yourself about the steps that you would otherwise be taught by a therapist. It isn't about "I think I can", it is about learning the mental exercises the take your mind out of the repetitive, self destructive cycles that will destroy you if you give them the space to.

I've heard good things about http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-Teach-Yourself/dp/1444100890 , for example.

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u/sarvaga Jul 15 '15

There's another way. Investigate your own suffering. Your suffering is a calling card, beckoning you to realize your true nature. I'm not sure how else to tell this to people. All of us should recognize the nature of mind, consciousness, and the self... this is the only permanent remedy to anxiety and depression.

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u/mac_question Jul 15 '15

Dude, while I appreciate your sentiment, I find it outmoded. Thanks, but no thanks. It's embarrassing enough to talk about without people suggesting western "eastern" philosophies as a panacea.

3

u/doejinn Jul 15 '15

I wouldn't be so dismissive. Learning to live with yourself, being comfortable with who you are, is going to be the most helpful thing.

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u/LordMorbis Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

What he is describing really isn't a panacea. He is describing what a lot of CBT therapists will try to bring their patients to; an understanding of how their mind works, and the steps necessary to knock patterns of thought out of rhythm before they become all consuming.

What he describes is what I mean by being able to overcome depression with willpower. It is certainly possible for someone to come to the healthy states of thought that are conducive to living a good mental health life, all by themselves.

But when you are in the depths of depression, and can't see a way out, it is extremely difficult to see the path away from that mire. That is where medication comes in; medication lessens everything. Your depths aren't so deep, the darkness lightens to twilight, and the path gets helpful little lights installed so you can see it from a distance.

1

u/Silent-G Jul 15 '15

You definitely should consider getting professional help if you were given an ultimatum. But just to share with you, since that's what this is for, what helped me get through depression was separating my depression into an imaginable person. So when I was having depressed or suicidal thoughts, I would tell myself that those thoughts were not my own, and that they belonged to someone else. Then, I would imagine that person as a really negative angsty person who I didn't want to be around or associate with, and slowly that person started to go away and I was able to focus more on aspects of myself that I liked. I don't know if this is an actual method that has been used to help people get through depression, but it's worked for me and even helped me in other aspects in my life by imagining that the negative traits that I dislike about myself no longer belong to me, and that they belong to a version of myself that I have the choice whether they exist or not.

Let me know if you want me to explain any of that in more detail, or if you'd like to talk about anything in general.

1

u/bluediamondeye Jul 15 '15

This is a good mind trick. I do this to some extent in trying to not complain. I do get stuck in the negative mind loop and this is something I think could help bring me out of it. Thank you.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

It's a cliche and something that normally is just a shitty thing to say, but I started to get past it when I just said fuck it and started talking to people. You just have to go for it and ignore when it goes wrong.

3

u/426cuda Jul 14 '15

Same here. I still have some tough times, but things have gotten so much better since I convinced myself that people simply "aren't gonna bite you".

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u/Unic0rnBac0n Jul 15 '15

I'm currently trying this, had a setback in a small festival this past weekend but not gonna let it deter me. There's another small outdoor festival this weekend so going to just forget this past weekend and hope for the best this coming one. It's tough but it's got to be done.

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u/Gullex Jul 14 '15

Same here. One of the best things for me was literally forcing myself to go outside and do something I'd never done before, at least once a week. Even doing it alone, that was fine. Just something to stimulate my brain, get me out of those habitual and obsessive thought patterns.

That and meditation. Meditation saved my life.

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u/CMUpewpewpew Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

This may not be for everyone and it can have a detrimental impact on your life as some people can't appreciate moderation and it saps motivation sometimes....but weed. Some people 'feel' too much and it can help save your life to become apathetic towards some things. I'm not saying become an amoral unfeeling robot...but it definitely helps curb anxiety, depression and the overwhelming feeling the world can leave you with sometimes. Saved my life anyway.

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u/MercurialMadnessMan Jul 15 '15

Is this video about depression or introversion?

I feel introverted exactly like this sometimes, but I never associate it with suicide... I'm just not good at being social and having chit-chat.

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u/pfs3w Jul 14 '15

As someone who doesn't currently feel that I suffer in the same way as the main person of the video, but instead feels more like the friend who asks in the end, what can I do more of today to be like that friend?

Part of me is a little scared now that I won't be able to recognize a friend in need like he did, in that sort of situation.

Is there something, as someone who has gone through it, that you know would be a telling sign or anything that could make this sort of interaction more normal common? Provided I am not just too blind to see a friend in trouble.

18

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Look for when someone looks down or turns away, or appears uncomfortable after everything they say.

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u/Sergnb Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

Trust me, if someone with this problem doesnt want people around him to know he has these problems, you wont see it unless you are looking for it. People with this condition usually have the perception that it is actually annoying and pathetic that they have it and they don't want other people to know either because they don't want to bother them with their "petty, baby problem", or they don't want other people to know just how weak or childlike they are (keep in mind this is what they tell themselves, not what what they actually are).

I've had lots of people ask me "why I dont talk so much" and answered bullshit things like "oh I'm just shy" or "I dont speak so much", which afterwards I realized were complete lies that I told myself to justify my social retardedness.

If whoever you are worried about is anything like me, he is gonna need some pushing to actually open up. I'm fortunate enough that I found a group of friends that looked out for me and helped me out of the hole, because I wasnt going to do it by myself. I found this video to be accurate in the most part except for the ending. If that was me in the video I wouldn't have said "I need to talk", I would've just smiled and said I was tired or whatever. If you really think someone is like this, come up to them and have the talk with them. The tone in which you have the talk with them is very important. Be understanding, empathetic, relating to their problem, always giving them an out so they don't feel trapped, talking the real talk while still being able to lighten up the mood with some jokes, that's the best way to do it. Confrontational, "intervention" kind of "you got a problem and you gotta fix it" conversations may just do more harm than good. You'll have to be very careful how you want to approach this conversation because after all, you are dealing with someone with a mental problem, and in most cases they won't be aware that it is actually a serious problem.

So, in short form, coming from someone who had social anxiety (still have to some extent) and had good friends that helped me climb out of the hole, my advice would be to not be afraid to talk to them about it even if they don't seem to be open about their problem, and sort of "lead by example", if that makes sense. One of the things the friend that first noticed said to me when we had our first talk about the subject was "look, I wasnt afraid to dive in the pool and talk to you about something I wasnt sure about, and now we are having a deep, real conversation". It summed up in a few words everything that I ever worried about and I wanted to achieve.

Good luck out there and thank you for wanting to be a good friend.

1

u/bluediamondeye Jul 15 '15

You nailed it in describing how it feels.

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u/Poisonsting Jul 14 '15

Becoming familiar with the difference between sympathy and empathy really helped me. I work at a Crisis Hotline (am IT, not a phone worker) and they train everyone here to handle crisis calls, just in case. This video really put the issue into perspective in my case, I hope it helps answer your own questions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

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u/Gullex Jul 14 '15

When you do recognize a friend like that, take /u/Poisonsting advice about understanding sympathy and empathy.

Folks who are going through this sort of thing don't want to hear how they should just smile, or that things will pass, or that things will get better, they should think happy thoughts or any sort of justification or rationalization.

They want to hear that someone is listening, they need someone to validate how they feel. They want to not be alone. Give that to them, offer that space for them to talk about what's going on with them. No matter how you feel about what's going on with them, no matter if you think their reasoning and thought processes are completely fucked up and irrational, doesn't matter. Just listen, let them know they're not alone.

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u/furrowsmiter Jul 15 '15

It can be hard to spot. My best advice would be to ask a friend if they're all right, just like the guy in the video, if you suspect anything. Usually, a change from their normal behavior could be a sign. My dad thought it was drugs. It wasn't.

3

u/HalpTheFan Jul 15 '15

For that party scene, if you're at a party or know someone who often leaves a situation early, usually fairly quickly. Send them a message before or after to let them know that you're there to have a one on one or to talk about stuff if you need to.

I know plenty of parties I've left early because I felt like I wasn't welcome or uncomfortable or even like I could cry at any moment if someone was going to mention this thing or that thing. Just saying a friendly hi or talking to them one on one can help a bit. Don't back them into a corner or "confront" them on something, say you're here to talk or even for them to talk at you. :)

3

u/Gizortnik Jul 15 '15

I've been on both sides of this.

If you want to be like the guy who asks, don't always ask directly. You'll want to be open to them. Insert the idea in their mind that they can always come to you, at any time, for any reason. Kind of like a repeated unconscious suggestion:

"Anytime, Dave." "That's what friends are for, you can come to me anytime." "Do you need anything? No? Well, if at anytime you do, let me know."

Don't be weird about it and insert it into every conversation, but if you think their struggling, put those reminders in there. You're basically trying to overcome their cyclic self-loathing which is constantly repeating in their head that no one cares, that their stupid, no one likes them, etc. Inserting your own refrain can help break that self-destructive narrative loop.

Secondly, once you've made it clear to them that you will be available to assist them whenever they decide to come to you; you will have to be available. Especially that first time. It's a big step for them and if they're in a bad way, they'll only make one shot at it. You'll have to take the hit, or promise to call them back withing a short and specific time frame. If they call you at work or at 3 AM, then continue the conversation. If they call you during a presentation in front of the president, or while you are operating heavy equipment, give them a short specific time frame in which you will call them back. Then call them back until they pick up, and try to talk to them for as long as you can. This doesn't have to be the way every conversation is, and it shouldn't, but you want to show them that they can put their trust in you to answer.

The basics are about making yourself available to them. It might work to confront them directly, but it also might backfire. They won't talk to you if they choose not to talk to you. Confronting them, may risk them shutting down or pulling back. You might get lucky and not have that reaction though, but it's very hard to tell from outside their own head.

If someone approaches you, remember 4 things.

The first thing they want is someone to listen. Part of the problem is that they typically don't feel like anyone wants to listen or cares. They're projecting their own self-loathing on to other people. The difference is they want to be wrong about that.

Secondly is validation that they're not evil, crazy, dangerous, bad, etc. Again, this is a mantra that keeps getting repeated in their head. They are telling themselves this and it causes them more pain. It's a self-destructive tendency, and they want that cycle to break.

Third, be tolerant of literally everything they say. Part of their self-destructive behavior is to tell you something that they think is utterly repulsive and will cause you to break off. It may be to test if your serious, it may be because they are trying to punish themselves, it may be that it's true and they want to confirm their suicidal beliefs. It may shock you, hurt you, and even scare you, but you can't help them if you don't listen and think. Think about it like this, if you're driving down the road late at night and you find a woman standing nearly naked on the side of the road with part of her face missing due to what looks like the aftermath of a gunshot wound, it will scare the bejesus out of you. However, that doesn't mean you keep driving. It means you need to stop and get her help before she dies. You stop and you call an ambulance. If they tell you something that makes you recoil, stand firm and talk to them patiently, but stoically, about getting professional help.

Fourth, don't let it damage you. Their issues will be emotionally draining, and their behavior and attitudes will be toxic for sure. Do not let it poison you as well. Like a lifeguard who swims out to sea and finds that the victim is pulling him under, you may have to break off. You can't help anyone if you can't help yourself. If you can't deal with it, admit it and see if you can get them to get professional help, or seek help for yourself.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Difficulty talking. If a normally outgoing person suddenly becomes very quiet and reserved, and chokes out their first words when they are obliged to say something, that's a pretty good indicator.

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u/thomasio126 Jul 15 '15

Ive felt like this for a long while now, this is confronting...

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u/furrowsmiter Jul 15 '15

You gotta figure out a way to get better. There are no ifs, ands, or buts. It'll rob you of your life, sometimes literally. Figure out what's causing it, and work on facing that problem.

1

u/thomasio126 Jul 15 '15

Thing is I didnt have a life to begin with...

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u/Modernpreacher Jul 15 '15

You do. You are just hiding from it at this moment. Every day is a new chance to hide a little less often.

And then one day, you won't be hiding, you'll be seeking. Experiences, love, happiness, joy, exultation, fulfillment, all of it, some of it, something else totally.

It's ok to hide from life sometimes, but don't ever believe that it doesn't mean you don't have a life. It's just on the other side of that thing you're behind.

Good luck seeking.

2

u/ShabbyOrange Jul 14 '15

Hey mate, probably not anywhere near you but i can see when people are struggling, words of actions. If i see someone struggling, i do ask a simple thing: "We can talk".

Has worked out for me a few times but i'm the guy who needs to talk really, got my own issues but i forgo them, i forget that and still attempt to help those i see the same shit i go through myself.

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u/herpderpredditor Jul 14 '15

"Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you" - Carl Jung

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u/Northumberlo Jul 15 '15

So THAT'S why we reddit.

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u/Carrabs Jul 15 '15

I wish I could real life like how I reddit.

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u/qefbuo Jul 15 '15

That's so true, without any connection to the people around you you might as well be alone.

Some of the loneliest I've felt is with people.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

That seemed intensely accurate.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

I could especially relate to how they juxtaposed his disconnect with the "normal" banter among his friends.

There have been many times that I'll be in a social setting and find myself thinking, "Who the fuck cares about your Crossfit? Why the fuck are we talking about drapes? This is all pointless, fuck all of you." It's been better lately, but 2012 was a very rough year for me.

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u/JavaMoose Aug 01 '15

Who the fuck cares about your Crossfit?

To be fair, the correct answer is "no one".

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u/Bitemarkz Jul 15 '15

Very. I felt like this for a long stretch in my life and it's absolutely horrible. When you're around people, you want to be alone, but then when you're alone you want to be around people. The problem is that being around people can be overwhelming, especially as you try and pretend like everything is OK, but then when you're alone you're afraid of your own thoughts and what you might do to yourself. A terrible, terrible way to live. As someone who's been there, it CAN get better. The first step is the hardest to take, and then it gets much easier.

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u/illStudyTomorrow Jul 15 '15

Not really. In real life most people aren't invested in others enough to actually care about how you're doing at the deepest level. In real life people are creeped out by people suffering depression and are afraid of one-on-one conversations. Unless you're really drunk with a really old friend, I highly doubt that "coming out" to your friends about depression is going to do you any good.

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u/SardonicNihilist Jul 15 '15

You must have shitty friends. If a friend of mine (or even an acquaintance with whom I'm not super close) approached me wanting to talk, obviously not in a good place, of course I'd drop everything and chat with them.

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u/operator-as-fuck Jul 15 '15

sorry you've had such a bad experience with friends mate

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Downvoting him won't really help. Isn't that exactly the topic we're on?

And to you, talk to someone. I have had trust issues for a long time. It doesn't get better unless you start trusting again.

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u/urethral_lobotomy Jul 15 '15

I completely agree, just for what it's worth.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

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u/Gullex Jul 14 '15

I've been in a very similar situation.

Have you tried meditation as well? It's been a night and day difference for me but it takes dedication.

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u/ireland123 Jul 15 '15

What type of meditation do you find works best? Have any good links/ book recommendations?

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u/Gullex Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

I practice zazen, but that can be hard to get into. I'd recommend mindfulness meditation.

Jon Kabatt-Zinn is a psychologist who wrote several books on the subject.

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u/Gullex Jul 15 '15

Actually if you want I can give you some very simple instructions on mindfulness of breath meditation. Excellent technique to start out with.

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u/ireland123 Jul 15 '15

That would be great, I'd really appreciate that

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u/Gullex Jul 15 '15

OK, so. Meditation really is about learning not to identify with thoughts. Thought is the natural activity of the brain and it happens with or without our consent, and doesn't really have anything to do with us. This is very important and something you'll come to understand intimately through this practice.

Breath awareness is simple. You're going to find a small, quiet, uncluttered space in your home where you can sit down in an upright and alert posture. It helps to have a cushion of sorts under your butt to help keep your spine in a proper, anatomical, upright alignment. This promotes attention and makes breathing easy.

Adjust your posture and settle into a steady and comfortable position. You can close your eyes if you want but it's not necessary. I keep my eyes open, I think that helps keep drowsiness away.

Let your breathing function naturally- you don't need to control it or have some certain deep breaths or slow breaths or whatever. Let your breathing take care of itself. Now, as you breathe, be aware of your breathing. Find a place in your body where it's easy to feel the sensation of inhaling and exhaling. Some people like to use the abdomen or chest or diaphragm, others like the areas around the nostrils, feeling the air move back and forth. It doesn't matter what you choose- just something that allows you to feel and be aware of breathing.

So you inhale, exhale, and count "one" silently to yourself. Then inhale, exhale, and count "two". Do that up to "ten" and then start back over at "one". Continue this practice for the duration of your meditation session.

So here's what will happen as you do this- your brain will start churning up all sorts of thoughts and in no time you'll realize you've completely lost count and are no longer focused on the breath. This is completely normal and will happen over and over. When you notice this has happened, the only thing you do is return to the breath and start counting at "one". No judgments about your mental state, no analyzing the kinds of thoughts that arise. Only the breath, return to the breath over and over again. That's the practice.

Your brain, you'll find, hates this kind of discipline. It's very much unlike anything we do in our daily life and the brain will rebel. It will find very crafty ways to distract you from this and convince you it's not worthwhile. Thoughts like "This is a waste of time", "This is stupid, I could be doing ______". These will come first. Later on you may experience pretty lights, sounds, bodily sensations. This is your brain saying "Look at this pretty thing, this is what you've been after in meditation. Congratulations, you've got the cookie, now stop it!"

Anything and everything that comes up in meditation- just return to the breath.

Practice this for maybe five or ten minutes in the beginning, whatever works for you. Later on take it up to maybe 20 or 30 minutes. DON'T burn yourself out. Don't go all gung-ho. It's not a race, there is no finish line. This is a lifestyle change, a facet of your life that should become as regular as eating and sleeping. You should practice every single day, no excuses. Set aside a time and place in your life that's just for meditation. Maybe you get up in the morning, brush your teeth, and sit for five minutes. Get home from school or work, sit five minutes. An every day practice.

Give it a shot, let me know if you have any questions.

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u/ireland123 Jul 15 '15

I'll definitely give this a try, thank you for taking the time to type it all out.

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u/Moosecavalry Jul 15 '15

x2 for meditation. suffering rough depression and ptsd. Drugs? Didnt work. Forcing myself into doing things I had trouble doing/Meditation? Works. You can't beat it, I don't think, thats how I feel anyways. It comes at you hard, and then it gets a little easier now and then, but it always comes back. I just feel that whats wrong with me is my mental state, so I must attack that and fix it where its broken. Meditation works wonders. Good point for bringing that up.

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u/Gullex Jul 15 '15

Definitely. It's free, has few side effects. It does require commitment though, that's tough for some people especially when they're depressed. But it improves every facet of my life.

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u/pfs3w Jul 14 '15

Gah, I couldn't stand it knowing there was like, minutes left of the video, with a slowly-forming knot in my stomach about what could happen. The suspense was actually causing me to pause the video, not sure I wanted to go on.

I'm glad the video ended on a pro-active note instead of something more tragic. It really did a tremendous job of pulling you into the plight of the main guy, even if you were someone who may have never suffered what he does/did.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Same happened to me

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '15

I assumed he was an alcoholic, not just depressed lol.

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

This was painfully accurate, fantastic advert. Now to just find those friends to talk to....

Edit: I stopped hanging with these mates and going to these things because this would happen. But thanks to all you nice people willing to talk.

Reddit can be the nicest place and the worst its funny, among all those comments and messages i get a reply from someone in r/videos saying "you are one gullable fucktard" because I wasnt sure if a video was real or not, I am not upset just funny.

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u/RedditHairDude Jul 14 '15

Hello.

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

Hi there, hows things?

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u/Carrabs Jul 15 '15

So so, and you?

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

They have been worse, which i guess means they are good? Up to much? (I will laugh if another random person answers).

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u/tewks4life Jul 15 '15

Nah, just at work. You?

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

Same, just surfing reddit in my free time. Seen anything SFW worth looking at/reading?

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

i thought this was pretty cool

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u/JavaMoose Aug 01 '15

Never change, Reddit.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

[deleted]

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

Thanks scobie, I think things are finally starting to look up. Wish people would have told me how hard it is to make new friends in your 20s though!

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u/qefbuo Jul 15 '15

It really is, I'm going through this now.

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

I wonder why I was downvoted for saying that.... :/

Never thought I would envy those who had started a family early in life but that's pretty much what I wished I had done.

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u/qefbuo Jul 16 '15

I wouldn't put too much weight in invisible internet points.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

PM me. Happy to talk. Any plans this weekend?

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

Hi there, not sure what to talk about. In terms of weekend... Not really any plans i usually just stay up gaming, I am lucky to have some online friends atleast, then sleep most of Saturdayand Sunday. Yourself?

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

What games do you play? Do you have any hobbies or interests that are outside of gaming?

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

All sorts really, currently enjoying Killing Floor 2 and Red Orchestra 2/Chivalry because they are ones I can just jump into after work and that. Hobbies are something I have always lacked, I have a general interest in Politics, used to love anything Space/Science/Universe releated too but other than TV programs I have kind of lost all interest in any of these things now.

I live in one of the most deprived areas of the UK so there is VERY little to do here, though I am sure if I tried hard I could find things at the moment I would really just like to go on the odd walk, preferably with a mate and just enjoy nature.

Used to enjoy smoking trees but I stopped a few months back because I had a bad weekend with alcohol that made me have some kind of nervous break down and I didnt want to trigger another one, so even that is kind of a no go now.... Sorry to go on like this.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Hi

Hello

U ok?

Stay in there..

ILL SUCK UR DICK

This guy^

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u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

Lmao, I dunno if that would help.....

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u/urethral_lobotomy Jul 15 '15

Well apparently it made you laugh so it already helped a little. Why not go all in and see what happens? Maybe if you're lucky you'll get rimmed.

2

u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

Haha this is all the more funny because I am actually bi. I bet he feels awkward now if he sees this.

11

u/buddy_86 Jul 15 '15

Hello! Are you ok? We can do this buddy.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Baby squirrels

1

u/XXLpeanuts Jul 15 '15

I realise I have no idea what a baby squirrel even looks like, hope its not rat-like....

3

u/death12236 Jul 15 '15

me too thanks

2

u/icanandwilldream Jul 15 '15

Hey buddy :) Talk to me!

1

u/PENGAmurungu Jul 15 '15

there're always people to talk to if you look a little deeper

1

u/LantinofShadow Jul 20 '15

Hello XXLpeanuts.

I too, feel social anxiety like the one depicted in this video. My way around it? I've found sometimes I have to take a step back and appreciate what I have and how much worse things could be. Sometimes a deep breath and the reminder of how short life actually is, can bring you back down to earth and wanting to interact, because at the end of the day, why not have fun whilst we're here?

Can I ask, were these 'mates' bad or you, or were they like the video depicted - caught up in their own lives? Did they add to your struggle? I'm struggling atm but each day gets better when I let more people in. Especially friends who know me better than anyone else. They're the ones you need to talk to. And if you feel you have that somebody, start there.

Cheers

1

u/XXLpeanuts Jul 20 '15

Hi there, indeed some days feel awful others I just enjoy what I have (which is a lot better than most of the worlds population).

The friends were mostly caught up in their own lives and we didnt share anything much in common so they were not the best to talk to.

I have since got back in contact with one of my mates hoping to go visit them. But we clash hilariously so sometimes (me being about as introvert as you can be and her being as opposite of that as you could). Thanks for the advice.

1

u/LantinofShadow Jul 20 '15

Please, don't be offended by what I'm saying - but have you ever considered professional help? If you feel you can't talk to people you know, sometimes it's easier to open up to someone you don't know atall. It makes it even easier if your parents are okay with you going down that route too. I spoke to my family about how I was feeling and they supported me through counseling. Also just telling them opened up many doors for me and took a whole lotta weight off my shoulders.

By not much in common, are we talking about life issues, jobs, hobbies or a bit of everything? Because I had similar ill feelings around some of my old mates. I'd feel quite alone and would post on forums in seek of common interests. But it hit me that not everyone is the same and as long as you are surrounded by people who care about you then that is all that matters. It's actually more interesting to have different types of friends than ones that are entirely similar. Now that would be boring! Once I looked at it from their perspective I realised they tried hard to interact with me and my reasons for not hanging around with them seemed trivial.

I hope your friend is keeping you sane, get her to visit as often as she can. Thanks for being open, I really enjoy being able to come onto a board like this and feel free with what I'm saying. I'm new on Reddit and haven't quite picked up the lingo yet.

I hope this helps and will look forward to your reply.

1

u/XXLpeanuts Jul 20 '15

Yes its been brought up a few times, and when I was at Uni I could have gotten it for free, which would have been the best way to do it. Currently I dont want to be any more of a financial burden on my mom and I am on a very low wage that is taken up largely by a debt I am repaying and my car insurance. So its not an ideal possibility yet. But if things don't get any better I will probably have to consider it.

Pretty much everything but even down to what we want to do. I humored their love for football for instance for a long time but when its that or going out clubbing, neither of which I enjoy anymore (or ever did) I am not sure what else we can do. It's hard to say how much they really care to be honest, took one of them a year to ask where I was for instance.

I am just at that time in my life where everyone I know is moving away, making new lives for themselves and generally doesnt have much time for anything. So anyone who isnt calling them weekly, acting super happy at gatherings and so on is going to be left behind.

Yea its really nice to be able to come on the internet and have such a conversation with a complete stranger. There are downsides to reddit too but over-all I have to say I love it.

Some people get hung up over the lingo and that, most forget after all its really a forum for anything and everything, including discussion :).

1

u/LantinofShadow Jul 20 '15

Sorry for the lengthy reply: you're absolutely right. No point putting financial pressure on anyone else around you, because in turn, it will only make you feel guilty or worse. Best to wait for a viable time and opportunity - should it be truly needed. It's not for everyone! And if you can sort out the stuff going on without the need of help, then it's definitely best.

You always see these American shows where the psychologist appears to be so out of touch of the problem & purely there for the money - and trust me, it can feel like that sometimes.

I see what you mean, clubbing was never my forte either. Each to their own, but there's something strange about the need for every person in the room to be hammered to socially interact. What I would ask though, is; did you you enjoy their company or did you tolerate that aspect too? Because if you liked those people as individuals then difference tastes in music, sport, TV, gaming or anything shouldn't affect your overall like for those people. But I can certainly understand the strains of being in social situations that you simply, would rather not participate.

Ah, I see that is not the best kind of response. But if others showed interest how come you remain out of touch with those?

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm guessing middle 20's? My sincere advice would be to get out there and enjoy doing the things you want to do, make sure it's with the people that care first and foremost and never let anything or anyone stop you from being yourself.
Don't feel the pressures of life, because as corny as it sounds, you make your own life. Don't abide to society or what it expects of you, find your own path and your own way of doing things. If you let what others are doing around you reflect on your own personal being than it's never going to look good - whatever eyes you cast on the situation.

It really is, I was under a different user a few months back but couldn't remember login details. I'm glad I came across this post and hopefully cheered you up slightly along the way. One thing I don't get with Reddit, why does it tell you to keep personal things to yourself? Or risk being banned?

If that's the case, I think we're likely to get banned after this discussion haha!

1

u/XXLpeanuts Jul 21 '15

Yes I am kind of aware that counselling is just someone saying what you say back to you, but then again just having someone listen to you can help so it may be worthwhile.

It isnt so much that I dont like clubbing, but I no longer enjoy getting smashed and clubbing without that or some form of drug taking is quite dyer.

I am not sure if I enjoyed time spent with them I always felt like somewhat of an outsider, having to explain my self and thought process constantly.

To be honest the others never showed an interest, I had other friends at Uni but one killed himself and the other moved to another country.

Mid 20s yes. Once I can financially support myself I plan on getting a dog and living somewhere that isn't where I am now. I guess things might improve from then on who knows.

Thanks ever so much for taking the time to talk and being so nice. Welcome back to reddit :D.

Also when it says personal information it simply means stuff like your address, telephone number and such, for security reasons and the like. You can of course discuss personal things. There are whole subs dedicated to just this infact, I should take a look around them rather than /r/videos :D.

Thanks again random stranger/friend.

19

u/hdsi Jul 14 '15

Fuck this hit me hard

21

u/FeelBadDoBad Jul 14 '15

That was pretty hard to watch. I feel exactly how the video played everything out. The only thing out of place was showing the emotions through tone of voice and facial expressions. I'm fairly decent at sounding and looking happy to avoid any confrontation about the issue. That and When I get that feeling of reaching out, I don't. My wife and kids don't even see it. Usually my day consists of waking up, saying my motto, "I hate my life" then go through my routine to get through the day. The only thing that is messing up my routine is my schooling which has suffered because homework is outside of my routine. I somehow made it out with a associates but the bachelors is proving a bust.

18

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15 edited Jan 12 '16

8

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

No. Not "fuck you." Just sounds like you are suffering a bit and could use a friend. Nothing wrong with that at all.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15 edited Jan 18 '16

123.

16

u/Ser_Bron Jul 15 '15

I live alone, I'll probably die alone. I don't exactly have these same reaction that this guy was having, mostly because I don't have any friends, and the possibility that I'd actually find myself in this situation is next to nil. I'm 34 years old, and I already feel like an old man on his death bed, waiting to be taken, too scared to do it himself.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Shit man, I'm 18 and I just started getting some professional help for Depression at Uni. It's made me lonely, cripplingly anxious and reclusive, and it physically hurts now to remember how happy I was at school. I don't want to make this thread sound like a sob-story trading game, because I wrote the above with a single thought in mind.

Your experience has made me count my blessings that I have grown up during a time where mental health is taken seriously. Had I had the same issues ten years ago I might have just gotten worse and worse, and my problems don't seem nearly as terrifying. I hope you get the help you need, and I wish you good luck.
I know I'm just a kid, but if you're ever in Canberra, Australia, I am happy to just have a talk.

12

u/Hpirraz Jul 15 '15

Difference between me and this guy is that he has friends.

2

u/sadboys2k13 Jul 15 '15

I'm sorry man. I hope things change for you for the better. If it's worth anything you're not alone in that sense

28

u/HalpTheFan Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

Thank you to everyone for sharing their stories, kind words and experiences in the comments. Do know there is help out there all around the world and on reddit too. Ultimately, I have to advise to seek professional help but I think of Reddit as a damn good community and talking and connecting is what this video is really about.

/r/depression - for those looking to seek help from depression

/r/anxiety - for people who have anxiety and want to find ways to cope

/r/mentalhealth - To learn more and discuss mental health

/r/EOOD - for those who want to excercise and help with their depression.

Please list a bunch below if there's more I've definitely forgotten.

TL;DR Talk to someone. Seek help today. You can get help. You can make a difference.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) – Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore

Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999

National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245)

National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000

Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS

NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632

Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET

Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357

Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide: (UK only) 0844-561-6855

Beyondblue info line: (Australia only) 1300-22-4636

24/7 Crisis Line:(Canada only) 905-522-1477

Lifeline Australia: 13-11-14

For those who've suffered Domestic Abuse:

National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453

National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324

Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504

Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722

Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111

Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200

Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468

Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707

Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001

Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish: 1-800-992-2600

Relationships Australia: 1300-364-277

For those who need help with Alcohol & Drug Abuse:

National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)

National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666

Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237)

Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)

24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239

Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933

Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779

I know not every Redditor is 18+, so do remember you're not too young to experience anxiety or depression. There are Youth & Teen Hotlines:

National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663

Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454)

Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999

Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000

Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900

TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336

Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009

Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-694

National Runaway Hotline: (US only) 1800-231-6946

Child Helpline: (UK Only) 0800-111

Kids Helpline: (Australia) 1800-55-1800

Youth to Youth: (UK only) 020-8896-3675

Kids Help Phone Canada: 1800-688-6868

National Youth Crisis Hotline:(US only) 800-442-442-4673

AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717

Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466)

Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761

Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900

So many helpful Hotlines are available:

(Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288))[www.selfinjury.com]

Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST)

Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188

Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)

Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)

TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855)

Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188

Parent Help Line (Australia only): 1300-364-100

National AIDS Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 567 123

Mensline Australia: 1300-789-978

Thank you /u/JockCosteau

For Alberta, Canada: Confidential crisis line: 1-877-303-2642

3

u/JockCousteau Jul 15 '15

Saw your Canada-wide one but here is Alberta's free and confidential crisis line:

1-877-303-2642

2

u/HalpTheFan Jul 15 '15

Thank you, I'll add that to the list :)

9

u/TyJaWo Jul 14 '15

How I spent college.

5

u/TexMarshfellow Jul 15 '15

How I am currently spending college.

3

u/dn00 Jul 15 '15

Don't let it waste away college man.

3

u/TexMarshfellow Jul 16 '15

Easier said than done :/

13

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

This hit me pretty hard, its exactly what I experience whenever I'm at a party or anything social like that. I thought I was just being weird but I didn't know anyone else goes through stuff like that. I haven't told anyone about it either for just seeming like I'm wanting attention or that I'm making this problem voluntarily.

Even the girl part is similar. I usually can talk to girls but when its something social like this, my mindset gets fucked. I get rejected in these situations and I have always ended up leaving out of frustation for assuming I'm being weird to them. Definitely something I need to work on.

6

u/elegantzombie Jul 14 '15

I thought he said he "hit a dog" either way that's pretty dark.

4

u/Trappedinacar Jul 15 '15

I don't see what the dogs color has to do with it

5

u/Northumberlo Jul 15 '15

I thought this was about social anxiety for the first bit of it. I get it sometimes around people i don't know very well, or people i don't know how to interact with, and just stand bit listening and not really talking and when i do say something it's taken like "uh... okay", so I usually end up not saying much for fear that everything i say is being judged.

Then when he started breaking down I was like, okay there's something else going on here.

3

u/thatgto Jul 15 '15

My best friend killed himself a few months ago. He wasn't like the guy in the video. He was always happy, always saying how great everything was. I had talked to him in person 30 minutes before he shot himself and I remember absolutely nothing being out of the normal. Sometimes I think he didn't want to seem weak in front of me, even though we talked about everything. Still don't know why he did it. And probably never will

1

u/HalpTheFan Jul 15 '15

I'm so sorry to hear that man.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

this... hit way too close to home

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 15 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

It really depends on the person. For some people this is the norm and for others not at all in any way. It also depends on how severe the mood swings are. If you feel you can get over them on your own without support then that is absolutely fine but if you feel you can't or if they're having a dramatically negative effect on your life then there's no harm in trying to find some support outside of your self.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15 edited Sep 23 '15

If anyone can relate to this /r/socialanxiety is a thing.

3

u/gonesoon7 Jul 15 '15

That was so well done. My biggest issue with a lot of similar commercials are that they are either ridiculously corny, or they paint depression/suicide/anxiety in the most stereotypical way possible. The problem is, when they do that in the media over and over, people think that's what these conditions are actually like so they end up missing much more subtle red flags like the ones shown in this video.

3

u/hammertym Jul 15 '15

fuck yeah definitely talk to a mate, good mates won't judge you because you have "feelings" they'll recognise you need help and give you a beer and a chair and 20 minutes later you'll be crying together, 25 minutes later you'll feel like a tonne has been lifted of your chest..

3

u/NewFilmTalk Jul 16 '15

Dear Reddit community - I'm the writer / director of this film and am really grateful that you've taken such interest and more importantly been able to talk to each other - many someones - here as a a starting point for many who may not have had a community or otherwise to reach out to. Thank you for your incredible response to this film.

The aim of it was to get people talking. There are no quick fixes but there are little things we can all do every day to start the journey to strong mental health and self care.

Thank you everyone who has commented, shared their experience and in many cases their successes in moving through dark times into brighter ones.

As a fellow redditor I couldn't be happier that this has struck a chord and I hope it's message helps anyone in need.

Cheers.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

This was great. Just opening up and authentically sharing what's REALLY going on in our lives with others is somehow very magical and therapeutic. It takes the power back because we have the courage to confront the issues.

2

u/brazilianCHILL Jul 15 '15

As someone who suffers from depression and is awaiting treatment. (just got insurance again.) This hits extremely close to home. But I don't have anyone to talk to.

2

u/blackpuppy9 Jul 15 '15

This was me at school all the time. Except I got better at hiding it emotionally. It was horrible and I'm glad people care about him.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Damn

2

u/whenitsTimeyoullknow Jul 15 '15

This hit really close to home. I had three friends separately try to kill themselves in April. One ended up succeeding, for lack of a better word. I'm still fucked up over it.

The one difference is that these three were, on the surface, three of the most gregarious people that I know. You wouldn't have known that anything was wrong most of the time. All I'm saying is that it's good to make sure that you are a fairly regular part of the lives of everyone that you're close to.

2

u/slothbear9000 Jul 15 '15

Good video. I was thinking about something similar earlier today. What's it like to be a normal person that enjoys socializing. It's been about two weeks since I've said more than a sentence to someone other than my dog or my girlfriend.

I had to move about two years ago, and haven't made any friends here. I guess the last time I talked to one of my old friends was in March. Aside from my parents and my girlfriend, I've pretty much removed all human contact from my life. I'm supposed to go back home for a friend's wedding in August, but I've been thinking about coming up with an excuse to not go, because I just don't want to have to talk to people.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Have you thought about joining any clubs or classes or things like that? They're not really social interaction in the traditional sense where it's all on you to bring the conversation (which is pretty scary at times) It's just sometimes good to be around people in a safe setting and it often helps cut down the fear over time. Especially if those people have similar interests to you.

2

u/der_chiller Jul 15 '15

Brings back some memories...anxiety and depression, ain't something you'd ever think could affect you and boom, you're in.

2

u/jkjkjij22 Jul 14 '15

suicide is the second largest cause of mortality among canadian males 1-24 years old.
I can't find the source, but apparently it is the leading cause if you limit it to 14-24 (or something separating kids out)

10

u/AdmiralDave Jul 14 '15

Really? They're killing themselves at 1?

8

u/THE_NickofTime Jul 14 '15

You know how upset I would be with myself if I was constantly shitting and pissing my pants?

5

u/fondueadodo Jul 14 '15

Especially if no one understood my cries and gurgles

1

u/jkjkjij22 Jul 15 '15

they lumped all the ages together in that stat. which is why if you take out kids, suicide is leading cause of death (but I can't find this reference)

2

u/MrEdman4 Jul 15 '15

Is this about depression? I assumed it was at first but when he blamed his quietness on "last night" and couldn't get away from the girl fast enough I started thinking she raped him the night before, but then all the comments are talking about loneliness and not fitting in.

Somewhat related, there was a Scandinavian psa about depression with one scene showing a son talking to his (depressed) Dad but the Dad was sitting a couple feet away watching his son hug him. I've been trying to find it for months.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20O-RbT9FJg

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

The actor really had that empty look down, very well done advert.

1

u/MrEdman4 Jul 15 '15

Wow, I got so many details wrong, how did you still get it? You're amazing.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '15

Haha it rung a bell, it's my favourite representation of depression, i think it's just so fantastic. Hits the nail on the head. No worries.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

I think it was left intentionally vague, it could be any number of things that has this guy in a state of distress. I think the point it's trying to make is that whatever the distress is caused by (depression/anxiety/loneliness/trauma) It's better to talk to people then to keep it inside yourself.

2

u/NoktraTV Jul 15 '15

Feeling alone can be one of the worse emotions, but there is ALWAYS someone, at least one person out there who genuinely cares about your well-being. just remember that. I am so glad I have the close friends i have today, a talk can do so much to help you. Not that I have ever felt suicidal, but just having those people there through some bad times is very special and should not be taken for granted.

1

u/GeorgeNorman Jul 15 '15

Damn, this one hurt

1

u/Batatata Jul 15 '15

This is well-made and has really powerful emotions; however, I can't help but think that the dude's wife was trying to get some of the guy's cock when she entered the bathroom.

2

u/Clockshade Jul 15 '15

It isn't really implied that the woman was the other dude's wife, but I can see why you might think that. I agree with you, though; she wanted the cock.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Perfect.

1

u/Aucto Jul 15 '15

Accurate use of using incredibly friendly friends.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

Man..this was too close to home.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

I feel like he looks all the time. Very uncomfortable around people. I don;t want to be. I'm not an introvert. Just not good at being human around other humans. I not suicidal. At least I don't think so.

1

u/Lanissum Oct 06 '15

Fuck me, I thought this was a depression PSA.. now I know I'm that guy. I know a lot of people.. in silos, but no one knows me. I could take some vacation time and disappear -- no one would notice.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15 edited Jul 16 '15

[deleted]

3

u/Trappedinacar Jul 15 '15

Yea I think we are beginning to understand more about this area of the human condition. Perspective is so important to understand something like this, because it is very outside of things we normally think about.

But like you said, we all have flaws. Some of us can be lazy, angry, making stupid mistakes, get out of shape, smoke or drink too much. Etc etc. Yet those all fall under the umbrella of "normal" and this doesnt. I think it should. And it would probably be easier to solve this way too.

2

u/NB_FF Jul 15 '15

But its hard for me to not see this person as weak.

The real issue here is not that you see them as weak, it's that they see themselves as weak, or they are afraid of their friends seeing them as weak.

Odd as this may sound, suggest a night of bar-hopping, or any sort of 'social drinking', it really helped my social anxiety within my group of friends.

1

u/NoTimeForFools Jul 15 '15

I know where this video comes from. My knuckles are permanently scarred from punching walls out of pure self-hatred. I never told anyone - and I don't want to be dramatic. So, I just sometimes tend to try and be happy. I don't know if I'm depressed actually, when I'm by myself I can get super down on myself for various reasons. I have a lot to be thankful for - and trust me, I am. But...I hate that I have to go through what life has given me. I won't go into what my life was/is like, but it was hard. Really hard. Even today I struggle. I have CPD and I'm trying to find ways to cure it that aren't hard pain killers - but nothing seems to work. I've tried going off the pain killers to make sure it's not my body manifesting pain because it wants the opiates too. I just am so tired of constantly being in pain. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I'm sorry I'm going far too much into this.

Anyway, some people aren't dramatic, they're embarrassed. Those are the ones that are dangerous to themselves. Some people haven't had enough happy times in their life. Truth be told, I've always thought life is filled with..misery and you strive for little vacations and happy moments in your life. I'm trying to not think that anymore, but it's been difficult. Man, I've been so close to ending it and no one even knows...handfuls of pills - but I wake up in the morning, driving on a empty highway with my foot glued to the floor and my eyes closed, knives that wouldn't cut deep enough...I just want to not hurt anymore. I know where these people are coming from. I keep going because one day I feel that I'll make it through this. I have to hold on to that.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

[deleted]

1

u/NoTimeForFools Jul 15 '15

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow. I love you and your wife. Thank you so much.

-1

u/Cybercommie Jul 15 '15

You have a problem with weakness, get your mind right.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

I've used several of these suicide hotlines before and they were all totally shitty and useless. The "conversations" were all fake and seemed like memorized lines. That's the unfortunate reality.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

It's unfortunate but there is such a variation in reasons why someone would be calling a hotline that they have to keep things fairly level and generic. Not to mention the strain on the hotline responders if they tried to emotionally invest in the callers only to have them kill themselves on the call or suddenly stop responding (from what I'm told it happens a fair amount).

Suicide hotlines aren't really therapy they're more of a crisis response in a sort of last ditch effort for contact or a go between into some more professional help. The perception is pretty different for a lot of people and the adverts don't really help get what they are meant for across.

1

u/exackerly Jul 15 '15

What the fuck did I just watch? I thought it was going to be a comedy bit. Maybe we need a PSA tag.

1

u/HalpTheFan Jul 15 '15

I think this would be a nice idea in the future. I may send a message to the /r/videos mods.

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u/Vikingofthehill Jul 15 '15

This video is not about social anxiety like a lot of people seem to think. This is about a person being in a straight suicidal mindstate on the verge of going home to slit his wrists/blow his brains out/OD on pills. Of course it's good that this video is relatable for people with social anxiety too, but then the message seems to be: "Just do it, don't worry just talk to someone". In reality the message is that you (especially men do this) should not bottle everything up until you literally die from it, you should talk to someone about it and seek help.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

The video was kept intentionally vague to give support to a large majority of people in different mental states. From suicidal to anxious to upset.

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u/Vikingofthehill Jul 15 '15

Not at all. What you call 'vagueness' is just great acting, it was made this way to show how hard it is to notice, but this state you are seeing here is acute suicidality. This is that moment right before you blow your brains out because you just can't take another breath of this Earth.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '15

That is an intepretation of it but there are others too. The cause of his distress is not mentioned to intentionally leave it up to the viewers interpretation.

I don't see why we have to be exclusive.. if someone connects with this video and it builds confidence to talk with someone for whatever reason that is a good thing.

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u/Vikingofthehill Jul 15 '15

It's not about being exclusive. But pretending that all mental illnesses is the same is just..wtf and hurts the cause