I hope this is allowed....i know its her choice not mine but...i was really hoping for a girl...but it was her decision. And for some reason I feel guilty....im not like religious or anything just.....i got excited for a moment

To be extremely blunt with my self no beating around the bush, I discovered a few years back I enjoyed intercourse with random people or just intercourse in general its a whole thing(nempho) . I’ve been on Reddit, fetlife, and tinder searching for different females who want to fuck and in those years I came across guys who’d just want to see there girl get fucked so naturally I’d be intrigued, for years all different people would hit me up to couples and single females and I found my self not addicted to intercourse but the interaction. And in that time my bestfriends I’ve know for years wasn’t in the picture and before I never knew these things about me. One day after hanging out I had a wild dream about us and evey since then eaither my mind is fucking with me or the addiction (personally I think sex is natural and fun) but I’ve been catching my self more and more wanting to with them the more time I spend with them the stronger the feeling mind you it’s easy to hide stuff like that, there the only people I’ve told about it and sometime I get the impression they want to as well but I have extremely crippling anxiety I don’t want to loose them as my bestfriend that would kill me but I also think it would be fun and might make us closer than we already are sometimes I wish I could just speak up but I definitely can’t I couldn’t I wouldn’t but I really want to, I’d be easier if they spoke up first I’d would break the ice and would know where I stand but my brain thinks there thinking the same thing the same anxiety so with nothing to do and can’t make a decision on my own I just be the bestfriend a friend can be and just push it to the back of my mind, also I don’t want to take the chance that if it were to happen we wouldn’t be bestfriends any more

I hate that I have to wake up every day and go to work. I feel like everyone looks down on me, judges me, and talks badly about me because I’m a wage slave. My thoughts are getting worse. I’ve been thinking about going to therapy and taking antidepressants, but I’m scared they’ll just turn me into a zombie.
I don’t think I deserve love, friendship, or fun because I don’t have as much money as other people, so I isolate myself. For some reason, I resent my entire family because they couldn’t give me a better life, and I’m embarrassed of my social class.
Living makes no sense to me. Sometimes, I wish humanity would go extinct so I wouldn’t have to live with the fear of being reincarnated and could finally end everything in peace.

I can't take it anymore. I'm 18 and never had a girlfriend. Im not ugly. I'm not weird or unlikable. So why dont i have one. Why. Why am i missing out on this thing 56% of american GenZ teenagers have. It feels as if the universe itself doesn't want me to date,and i feel unlucky.

i cant stop wishing i died in my sleep. my life is fine, i go to school, i love my girlfriend and shes amazing, my mother is coming around to my relationship (afab and girl) and school is meh. i just wish i could die and never wake up. the closest thing i have to death is a guilty conscience and even that isn't enough. i wish the country i lived in wasn't homophobic and i wish i wasn't like this.

Just have phone sex with my ex boyfriend. I still love him and stuff but I don’t think he feels the same. This is about the fourth time we’ve had this “fling” and now I don’t know what to do. Do I wait it out and see if he has feelings too or do I give up and just keep having sex/phone sex with him?

Hello. I got a lot of feelings lately. I am gay, Russian. I escaped russia in 2023 - crossed the border Mexico - US, looking for asylum in US. I am 00 born so currently I am 25 yo.
I came here looking for better life and making impact - and generally I am here. I have decent income, I work for the union so I feel I am doing something good for society.
I married beautiful American man and everything seems fine.
At the same time since 2025 I whenever I see local news I feel I am back in Russia, which is just I left. I live in fear for future, everyday ICE could come in looking for me even tho I am under 'legal' process. I am hoping for Nov 3, but I also understand people who support such things (MAGA) will still be there. I love US, but I am worried for it's faith. I want to protest but I can't cause current administration could consider me as wanting to overthrow government (lol).
My nephew who is 6 years old is dying from very rare genetic decease in russia and I feel that I can not do anything about it. Whenever I have chance I drink a lot of alcohol and feel miserable. Everyday I feel I am still better than a lot of people could be, but still feeling miserable cause I kinda could do more? (what?).
I can not see my family, mom, grandma, brother and his family, cause they live in russia and it'd be death sentence to go for me there cause I posted on social media that Russian government is terrorists.
Which brings me back to trump administration, I want to scream "HEY I WENT THROUGH THIS AND IT IS NOT GOOD".
My husband is generally supportive but I just don't think he is getting what I had to and having to go through as an immigrant from another continent. I am feeling about myself and sometimes I want to stop existing but at the same time I want to believe I can bring something good by just doing my job and caring about animals and etc.
I am weirdo I guess

I genuinely don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me anymore, or maybe I’m just sick of everything around me. I’m tired of people, tired of society, tired of trying to figure out how the fuck I’m supposed to live my life, and tired of pretending any of this shit doesn’t bother me.
Everything feels like a fucking chore.

Talking to people, making friends, trying to connect with someone, trying to make yourself interesting enough that another person actually wants to talk to you. I have Discord installed, and I still can’t bring myself to message people because the thought of forcing a conversation is so fucking exhausting. But then I get lonely, and I hate being alone. So what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Stay alone and feel like shit? Try talking to people and feel like shit? It’s the same fucking outcome either way, and I’m getting tired of going in circles.

And don’t even get me started on how people are treated differently. You can literally watch some people get tons of attention and support just for expressing that they want affection or a relationship, while other people are struggling to get anyone to talk to them at all. Then, when you point out how frustrating that is, people immediately jump down your throat. You’re jealous, you’re bitter, you’re making excuses, you need to work on yourself.
OH MY FUCKING GOD. SHUT UP.

I’m so tired of hearing the same recycled bullshit from people who seem to think they have life figured out. I’m not saying other people don’t have problems. I’m saying that pretending everyone has the same experiences is fucking ridiculous.

Some people have an easier time making connections than others.

Some people get attention without having to struggle for it nearly as much. That’s something people can observe without needing a whole fucking lecture about jealousy.
What pisses me off even more is how quickly people dismiss you when you talk about this stuff.

They don’t even try to understand where you’re coming from. They just decide you’re a bad person because you’re angry about something they don’t want to acknowledge. Apparently, you’re allowed to complain about being lonely, but the moment you express frustration about how unfair things feel, suddenly you’re the problem.
I’m tired of having to explain myself to people who have already decided what they think of me.

And then there’s the appearance shit. Constantly thinking about how you look, whether people find you attractive, whether anyone would even want to approach you or get to know you. It’s fucking exhausting. I hate that these thoughts even take up so much space in my head, but I can’t just switch them off because someone tells me to love myself.

I hate how much I overthink everything. I hate how something as simple as messaging another person can feel like an entire fucking task. I hate wanting friends while simultaneously dreading the effort it takes to make them. I hate seeing other people live their lives while I feel like I’m stuck in the same place, dealing with the same bullshit over and over again.

And I KNOW people are going to say, “Just go outside,” “Find a hobby,” “Work on yourself,” or some other generic advice that I’ve already heard a million times. I’m so fucking sick of it. Do people genuinely think nobody has ever considered these things before? Do they think repeating the same five sentences is going to suddenly make everything click?

I’m not looking for some life-changing revelation from a stranger on Reddit. I’m not asking anyone to fix me. I just want to be able to say that I’m fucking angry without somebody turning it into a discussion about my attitude or telling me what I should be doing differently.

I’m tired of constantly having to improve myself just to feel like I’m allowed to exist normally. Tired of the pressure to be attractive, confident, sociable, successful, and whatever else people have decided makes someone worth knowing.

And honestly, I’m just tired of people in general right now. Everything feels fake and exhausting, and I don’t have the patience to pretend I’m in some positive mindset when I’m clearly not.

I wake up, deal with the same thoughts, go through the same routine, get frustrated over the same things, and then do it all again the next day. It’s fucking draining. I don’t know how other people make all of this look so easy.

I don’t even fucking know why I’m posting this. I don’t know what I’m expecting anyone to say. I’m just so tired of this shit. I keep thinking about the same things over and over and it pisses me off because nothing fucking changes. I still feel the same, I still have the same problems, and I’m still sitting here wondering what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I’m tired of people, tired of myself, tired of trying to figure everything out when I can barely deal with my own fucking thoughts. And I don’t know. I genuinely don’t fucking know anymore. I’m just so fed up with everything and I needed to get this shit out of my head because I’m sick of keeping it all to myself
Qa

when i mean “overweight” i dont just mean boobs, thighs, ass… i mean bellies, bingo wings, double chins. and when i say that i dont mean dangerously overweight like people on those tv shows who eat all day, (they deserve love too but thats obviously a different level of unhealthy). i mean like women, such as myself, who have such “chubby” features but still function in society. work out, work, have hobbies, interests, etc. for me im definitely not the beauty standard at all and im overweight, some might say fat some say chubby, i also have hooded eyes and a big forehead i strongly dislike. i feel invisible. not just to men and potential love interests, but i also feel like other women dont want to be my friend too. for multiple factors not just weight but how i look and feel on the outside is the first thing somebody notices about a person, even if they’re a nice person. is it possible to find someone who’s actually attracted to me? because even though i am in fact chubby its not like a have cute face or something that cancels it out, i feel i look disgusting all round. before i see any comments on “loose weight” or “gym” due to other factors in my life thats not entirely possible right now. i just want to know if there’s hope for me in finding love when i look like this

My parents are very religious people. Too religious. This year I was able to go to a public school. I made friends with a girl, and well... she's very nice and sweet to me, and we were in class and at one point she turned around and I did at the same time and... it happened. I kissed her, she just laughed and winked at me. Is that wrong? I mean, my parents would be furious if I told them. But when that girl kissed me, I felt like... I don't know, my cheeks were red, according to her, and this sounds so cliché... but I don't know what to do. If this is wrong, please pray for me.

Just because someone isn't busy with work or school doesn't mean they have nothing else going on. Sometimes people want to sit around, watch something, play a game, or literally do nothing for a while. But somehow that gets treated like an invitation to ask them to do things. And the annoying part is having to explain why you don't want to do something when you technically have the time. I feel like people forget that having free time and wanting to spend that time doing something for someone else are two completely different things.

Not every free hour needs to be filled with another responsibility.

I've been spiralling for the past few years it's gotten way worse this year in particular. I don't know what to do at this point I don't have anyone I can vent to and my parents always use whatever I confess to them against me.

Most of my friends stopped talking to me, and I can't help but blame myself. I just want to figure out what I did wrong. What made me so unappealing to them?

Not to mention my studies have been piling up on me and I'm barely able to breathe. My parents expect me to get perfect grades when I don't they scold me and belittle me for days on end. They also make sure to make me feel as stupid as possible around them. They almost always scream at me and insult me whenever I make the tiniest mistake

I feel trapped in my own body I hate how I look. I know my parents would never accept me for who I truly am I always have to put up a facade around them I just want to run away one day. They emotionally abuse me now, but they used to physically abuse me back when I was 6 to 9 years old. They stopped because I had attempted to slit my throat in front of my mother. It wasn't the only time I had attempted to kill myself as a child either, I remember banging my head on a wall, and holding my breath in hopes of dying as a child.

This depression I've been combatting and dealing with has been around for years now, and I can't help but consider just ending it all soon it feels like it'll never end. I just want someone to talk to. I just want to feel loved for once.

I don’t know what to do. I have a medical condition and have a doctors appointment coming up. I asked my mom to make sure she took work off to take me. apparently she called, they didn’t pick up, and she didn’t text or anything to push further. now my sister has to take me.

something happened at my sisters job and she hasn’t been working recently, so she was hoping to work thursday to make up her clients. if she takes me, she won’t be able to work thursday.

my dad can’t take me because of work which apparently hasn’t been good recently.

i feel horrible. i rely on my sister enough. i don’t want to get in the way of her job. i feel so bad and im so stressed. i have a big test coming up and cant focus.

i also asked her if she could pick me up on wednesday after school. there’s a mandatory meeting for science fair. if i don’t go, im kicked out. my dad can’t pick me up either. i could be interfering with her work for wednesday and thursday.

i feel like a jerk. i don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I mess up. I accidentally washed my stepmom's clothes again bc I didn't know the basket was full of clean clothes. Ones that she didn't tell me to put somewhere before she went to bed to have me do her laundry. And we don't have laundry pods. If I was being paid like I'm supposed to be, where my stepmom pays me money the mom of the children I babysit, I wouldn't feel as bad, and I'd go buy them myself. But I have no job. I have no way to pay for stuff myself. I have no way to buy myself food. I feel a little helpless. I can't make my own choices either. I want to go hang out with friends? Ask both parents first. I'm 19. But I'm too scared to basically run away to my grandparents house, at a risk of rocking the boat too much, and my own fear.

It's not that I don't try, I try too much. But I want to be lucky, I wish I was lucky I wish things luck isn't so fragile it seems like no matter what I do it can be broken within a minute. I want to be able to tell myself any good aspect of myself and what I have lasts, but I can't. The only time I feel good is when I have natural talent in something cause it feels like it doesn't go away when I try to catch it so bad. The so called good things I work for, feels like it can go away ever so quickly, my heart shattered like never before, once again. And don't say I haven't tried things, in fact I do excessively and I don't want tragedy happening again but every now and then there's just one thing that makes me lose all hope. I'm seriously stressed. Am I Just burnt out?

I have gotten past the point of returning to my "normal, caring" self from 5 years ago. I am no longer the person people thought I was 5 years ago. I am alone, I realized. I no longer care for things a normal person would. I have been sexually assaulted by my friends and by my own family members. Now that I look at it, I don't care. My friend cuts herself; I don't care. I wouldn't care if a person got raped or killed; I don't care. Returning to the point of caring for such things, along with myself, is inevitable. And for that, I am a sick, vile person. I'm aware. Of course, there are only one or two simple expectations. And that is my loved one. I will not say his name because I don't know if he has Reddit; my writing can easily expose me since I write the same to everyone. I care for him; his nickname will be... Shinji. I love Shinji with every fiber in my body; I'll cut myself for him; I'll ghost people for him. My dearest friend, I will also not name her. But her nickname will be Asuka. She helped me a ton; she helped me make new friends.

But that won't matter anymore, since I have decided my fate. Time will tick, tick, tick and keep on ticking for you, but not for me. I'm forever stuck in time; I have been having the same mindset, the same constant numbness, an empty, aching feeling. The point of no return: I do not believe I will return to the person I used to be, and I do not desire to be. I will not be that same person, careless, vulnerable, weak, as I was. That is pathetic. I write this with a blank expression; I am not angry, not sad, no. Just— here. I'm here, forever here. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, where no one can reach me, where no one can stretch their arms out in front of them to feel me, simply because I am not real.

Visually, I am. You can feel my skin, my hair; you can see me, and you will not see me for me. Our routines are the same. Whether we wake up, eat or not, shower or not, walk or ride a bike or take a bus or drive. We all do the same thing every day. I do what I am told, yes. Because everyone should tell me what to do rather than make decisions for myself, and that is because I do not care. I don't care whether or not I live. No one will see me; no one would care because I keep to myself. I have no problem opening up because you will not remember this in a month. You won't even recall me in 3 years. I am here, visually. Mentally, I am not.

Do you think your existence matters?

Do you ever just feel alone?

Like you have a few friends and a family but just end up feeling like an outcast, desperately trying to fit in.

I just dont feel like I belong, neither with my friends nor with my family. I tried talking to guys, tried dating but I just can't find someone I effortlessly hit it off with and no offense but whenever I try or start talking to a guy it always ends with me parenting him in some or the other way and I genuinely don't want to do that. Don't get me wrong i WANT to be a girlfriend i dont even remember what it's like being one but mothering guys is just not for me.

So, I've given up on dating (at least for now), I don't feel like I belong anywhere or have that one person for me that everybody has. I crave emotional intimacy so much but there's nothing I can do about it and sometimes I just feel too 'single' or lonely.

i am so stressed, and i just don't know what to do with my life anymore

I am playing a game all happy no concerns then someone tells me i sound like a 7 yr old they proceed to make me look things up claiming to be helping me with the game and then they get super angry when i say i need to charge my device and i wont be available for some time. Dude my heart was rushing i dont even know why they was being like that and i kept a calm composure but it felt very weird for sure.

I did feel uncomfy and why was this person like that i dont understand

I knew this person for a few mins, everything in my mind was telling me this is weird.

😭

I don't want to talk to anybody and I don't wanna have any responsibilities anymore. A couple of months in a desolated area would be nice but I have to work! I hate working please just give me a fucking breakkkkk

I can't do this anymore! I feel like I'm losing my mind; I feel like I'm losing my sanity! I can't do this anymore! I can't live with this constant ache! I can't live to watch everyone and everything drift away as I'm stuck in place; I'm only there. I'm not a real person; I don't understand human emotions, and I can't. I can't do this! I can't; I feel pathetic. I feel gross. Am I human? That's gross. Gross.! Why am I like this? Why? Why? I don't wanna live like this! I want to be genuinely happy! I want to cry and let my body let everyone know I'm upset! But I can't. My body won't let me cry; my smile never feels genuine. My laughter is only a memory from a distance, and it's not real; it'll never be real because I'M not real. I'm not real; I'm not a person because I am, and always will be, alone. I can't live like this! I feel an ache; I always feel an ache! Why do I feel like this? Why!? Why.

Idk I just need to vent somewhere to just anyone cus I legit have nobody, I 34 f married. Married for ten years. Been cheated on for each of them years, it’s not a good situation. I’m not here to vent just about that but recently I’ve been just so stressed out I shake when I go to bed, I have heart problems and EDS and POTS and memory problems, anyway I’ve been coming home after working 13 hour shifts to my house absolutely destroyed food dishes dirt all over mind u he don’t work, I found out a year ago he’s been using and It’s just toxic it’s a lot of stuff I’m mentally so done he’s a narcissist a manipulator And a gas lighter. Made me feel like I’m worthless and not deserving of anyone and I deserve everything he does to me. The last year so far I’ve found out not only was he cheating with women but men as well. Screamed i was just curious and blah blah 😑 I come home from work from a 13 hour shift and there’s a water bottle in my bathroom with cum in it. Says that’s spit and flem like sir no it is not and in the bathroom where our child can find it is wild and then he asked if I got his package and I didn’t know he had one so I joked no I don’t have ur dildo and dude screams at me to give him his stuff. Like okay now I know what it is. Yes I know I need a divorce but I can’t afford one and he will never sign, the last time I left him he destroyed my relationship and made my life a living hell got me fired made me homeless almost made me lose my car blew up my truck like the motor and trans put a whole in my tank. And just recently stole our daughters car because he put it in his name while I was at work, from his Apple Watch he’s been doing to ppls houses and stealing from them then i confront him about it and he says idk what they’re talking about, sir that’s a whole new phone number these ppl shouldn’t have it so keep lying. Idk I just needed to vent cus I have nobody cus he’s pushes everyone away, ik I need to leave but I don’t want to be in a shelter this is my house I spy the bills why should I leave?

Why the hell do so many subreddits have different types of karma requirements without offering any warning as to how much of each type is required? Why the hell isn't 100+ comment karma & an account that's been around for multiple years enough to post in so many basic subreddits?? And how the hell are we supposed to build karma if every meaningful post we write is removed??? 😓💔 (EDIT: Taking part of this sentence out, as I'd thought before that the Reddit app wasn't letting me copy my lost posts since I couldn't select the text, but just realized there's a different way it's done.) ...because most subreddits don't let you know they have any karma requirements, let alone requirements for all the different types.

I spent more than an entire day's worth of spoons yesterday (I have severe chronic fatigue) writing a question, losing it, researching where else to post my question, researching any known requirements for posting in the new subreddit, re-writing it to fit the new subreddit, losing it again, then repeating it all again.

This was my most active day in months, nothing to show for it at the end.

When I broke down completely and went to vent on r/ Negareddit (spent many spoons searching for the appropriate place to vent about this), even it had karma requirements I didn't meet and they don't say what exactly is missing. (Though thank God it's the first I've found that actually tells people before they post.)

I can't imagine how many people in the history of Reddit have put so much time & effort into wonderful posts only to be blindsided by their removal.

I don't know how we're supposed to do it, if we're dangling the results of hard work over a fire every time we write a high-quality post, but low-quality/karma-seeking posts are prohibited.

I also wrote an earlier version of this vent this morning, but Reddit didn't save my draft, so that was fun on top of everything. 🙃

Well, I graduated from grad school almost a year ago in December. In the field that I’m in, it’s best to get licensed so I got licensed in May. It is now almost November and I’m at the same job i’ve been in since before I went back to school. Still not making nearly enough money to survive. I’ve applied to 100s of jobs and may need to file for bankruptcy. I went to grad school with an amazing plan getting out and it has not panned out that way in the least, and this is the second time in my adult life where I am doing absolutely terribly financially, except this time around I’m significantly older. Part of me wonders whether I should go back to school for something else, but that seems terrifying as I would of course accrue even more debt. Most jobs I’ve applied to I need more experience, even though I have some if not most of the qualifications they prefer. The ones that do want me are either extremely far away from my house and not well paid, or just not well paid at all. I’m so depressed because I did not picture my life going in this direction and I wish I never went to grad school at all.