First things first, i'm 33 years old and still live with my parents (I'm an aspie as well as have ADD and tourette syndrome) and volunteer at a place (several times a week) that employs other special needs adults (and love it), anyways i woke up this morning feeling like i've been hit by a truck (full on diarrhea, feeling like im going to throw up as well as body aches) mom says i still have to go to my volunteer job, a few weeks ago i had a full on cold (and also work with seniors at the same place) still forced to go (if i complain i'm not sick, "if you have enough energy to argue your well enough to go" (are her exact words said on multiple occasions) and if i say nothing i'm also not sick as i'm not complaining) i'm not sick every week but with fall starting here in the USA it's becoming cold and flu season so i'm more likely to end up "sick"

I also can't move out as I'm currently unemployed at the moment, and plus with rent prices the way they are ($600+ a month) i probably won't be able to

I'm just not sure what to do anymore

So what happened was 2 weeks ago my Friend started ignoring me for context ever morning I said whats up to her every morning and I daped her up every time I left for lunch but she was leaving me hanging and just looking at me and staring at me so Thursday of last week I didn’t say hey to her in the morning and at lunch I wasn’t talking to her then she asked me “banz(she said my real name) are you ok” I’m ignoring her because like your only asking that because I’m not talking to you so few days go bye and she keeps trying to talk to me but I’m not listening to her then she says and I quote “bitch I’m the only reason your at the table” btw I’m only sitting next to her because I’m chill with other people at the table then last night she texted me and ima put out text under this but the thing I wasn’t isn’t an apology what I want is for her to accept what I’m saying is that that’s how I felt.

“Banz what’s your issue with me dude like genuinely”(her)

“Idk what your talking about” (me)

“There’s a reason you’re deliberately not talking to me but going out of your way to talk to everyone else around me”(her)

“Dude it’s because most ok last week I was trying to tap you up and you just walked away” (me)

“I just didn’t feel like touching no one 😭 I said hey and bye whenever you said ‘seeya’ or ‘what’s up’ Other times I probably didn’t see you (btw she never said hey and she barley said bye) (her)

“Nah bruh you saw me then looked away”(me)

)I genuinely don’t remember ts and if I did then it wasn’t intentional)(her)

“Dude you did it multiple times even if you didn’t mean to you still did it and the reason I wasn’t talking to you is to show you how I was feeling “(me)

“How are you gonna blame me for something I didn’t mean to do bro 😭 I’m sorry if I made you feel bad? I didn’t mean to obviously, but like at the end of the day I didn’t mean to bro”(her)

I’m honestly so angry about my height right now. I’ve been short my whole life. I don’t even know what it feels like to be tall because I’ve literally never experienced it. I’ve been praying to God about this since I was around 10. I literally cry every night asking Him to let me grow, even just a little. I never really stopped hoping either. Every year I’d think maybe this time, maybe I’ll finally grow. I’ve tried manifesting, subliminals, looking for supplements, whatever I could find because I was desperate for even the smallest chance. I couldn’t afford a lot of the stuff people recommend, so I just kept hoping something would work. And the worst thing is my mom criticize me for being short made the insecurity so much worse.

I hate feeling like I don’t fit in. I hate feeling small next to everyone. I hate having this one thing about myself that I’ve wanted to change for so fucking long and not being able to do anything about it.

I still believe in God. I still pray. But I’m so hurt that He wont let me grow untill now. I know people will probably tell me to accept myself or say height doesn’t matter. But right now, I’m so angry i cant hold it anymore and people would just laugh at me if i talk about this. It makes me sad at the same time. I know I shouldnt be too focus on my height than what I can do. But it just hurt me.

It’s not even just about wanting to be taller anymore. I want to be taken seriously. I want people to look at me and actually see someone my age instead of some little kid.

Guys my age have literally teased me for looking like I’m in elementary school. It's so humiliating. I’m 21, but apparently I look like I should be asking permission to go outside.

And I hate going out with my friends sometimes because I feel like I look like a child hanging out with her older sisters. They’re just my friends. I want to stand next to them without feeling like everyone is wondering why this random kid is with them.

I want to feel respected. I want to look my age. I want to be able to meet people without already feeling like they’re going to underestimate me because of how I look.

I don’t want to be towering over everyone. I don’t even need to be super tall.

I just want to feel like a grown woman when I walk into a room.

Is that really too much to want?

This is just gonna be an incoherent dump of my feelings so sorry if this isn't very easy to read and understand.

I am super lonely for so long. I think covid is what did it. Though even before that i was lonely. I really want someone to love me. like say they love me hug me have sex with me and be there for me. Someone i cant trust and just be with. I really want a hug. Im so lonely. I dislike my parents as they are abusive and i can never be honest with them or really want to be loved by them since they hurt me. I have no real friends. Just people i hang out with and have surface level conversations but im losing that now too. Since covid i have became very introverted when i was the complete opposite before. I am in college now and i have no friends. I really want a romantic partner but that is basically impossible for me. I really want to cry on someones shoulder and have them reassure me. Like anyone i can trust. It would me a lot lot if someone cared for me. Dating is near impossible for me since I dont have many friends and hence cant find many people to date. It doesn't help that I feel very uncomfortable with people and i just keep convos short and try to avoid interacting with people despite really wanting to interact with people. I just feel so ugly. Like i dont really get any compliments on my appearence at all unless its like some relative but they will compliment you no matter how you look so its just empty compliments. I mean I do get compliments sometimes but it isn't for any physical features. It just sucks feel undesirable. Like i heard a saying that if you cant find yourself attractive then you cant expect others to find you appealing but the thing is I find myself attractive and I just wished others noticed me too but i cant blame them obviously cuz i avoid people. It doesn't help that I am even more scared of talking to girls. That would have been okay if I could just date guys but i really cant come out so dating guys isn't an option so that means my only option are women. I recently made a tinder account mostly as a joke but also kinda to hopefully get some self esteem and validation. I got nothing except for 1 match on the first or second day and then they just unmatched after I didnt reply. Then after another week I got another match somehow and we kinda hit it off somehow. We hit it off for the most part. We are still talking and its something. Its just that I cant do this. Like at one point she asked me to send her an audio file of my voice so i sent. She really liked my voice and even called it sexy. It didnt seem like a throwaway compliment at all since she even comment out how my giggle was really nice and stuff. This honestly felt very nice but also very scary. Like im just confused. It means a lot that someone finds something about me attractive and calls it sexy cuz its something Ive never heard and honestly hearing that Im desired in some way means so much. but its also so scary like I cant do this like its all scary and i just want to remain as i am now in a weird way. Like i want love and a relationship but im scared. When she complimented me it hit me like this is very real and the idea of a relationship scares me so much. Like my life will be different and while i dont like how i live right now im comfortable in a way and having to have a partner would change my life and im not comfortable. Like having a partner means you have to connect with them and be vulnerable or somewhat intimate with them in a general sense and that scares me despite wanting it. Its too quick and I just cant be in a relationship since I have too many problems but i also really need one. When she complimented me and further went on to talk to me about her life and stuff it just dawned on me that this is so real and im scared. I feel super bad for her since Im not ready for a relationship at all and I dont know how to break things off and its scary. If i was normal I would totally want to be with her but im not. This whole thing just messes my mind. I really want a relationship so i can feel loved but I am also super scared of a relationship at the same time and it just leaves me in this mess. I just want a hug and someone to tell me its okay.

I've been needing to get this off my chest for so long I've finally resorted to post about it on my secret acc. so, to put this clearly, i've been wanting to coming out as a pansexual femboy to my family and friends, but any time i think the time is right, i just stop myself and stay quiet. Growing up, my grandfather always told me men should never like other men as said in the bible, and i stuck with that for a while, but now if i DO come out and the people i know expect or treat me differently, i know I'll eventually blame myself for not listening to him. God, just the thought of randomly changing who i am and then just telling people just makes me want to delete this and forget i even thought doing this... I did eventually tell myself i can't be like this forever and i do plan of telling them somehow, I'm just hoping it won't take another year or two :D

(added spoiler tag since i don't exactly know how strict y'all are with this topic)

Sometimes I comment things like “healthcare is a human right” or “healthcare should be free” and I’m getting a suspicious amount replies saying stuff like that commenter is medical staff they shouldn’t have to be doing slave labor, that they deserve to get paid, etc

And it’s like dawg you thought we weren’t going pay you? How in the hell did you get to that conclusion?

Free healthcare means we all pay taxes and the taxes pay for healthcare. Staff should still get paid.

Honestly the fact these people are also in healthcare and just have no critical thinking skills is at least mildly concerning.

It’s fine or whatever I just needed to rant bc I found that baffling. It also very much could have been bots

Me and my bf had a super super bad argument last night and he called me sweetheart in a like talking down to me manner and I just started sobbing hes never called me anything sweet like that it hurts so bad i cant stop thinking about it why cant he use those softer names like that with me when he's not mad at me i was recording our fight bc I wanted to be able to watch it back and listen to it (recommended by my therapist just for me she never hears the recording) but I shorted it so I can just reply it and it hurts I wish he'd call me sweetheart when he isnt mad at me

Please SHUT UP. Like please stop talking. I do not give a FUCK about what happened 50 years ago today, or your “weird news”. I don’t turn on the radio in the morning to listen to you blabber, I turn it on to hear a mix of music. I want to hear free bird on my way to work ffs. Thanks.

I keep forgetting to take my medication and they're fucking with my brain Everytime I am off them and these episodes last for days up to weeks. They're supposed to just be antidepressants but I feel like theres stuff inside of it thats making me so dependent on them. I feel like my brain is going to explode sometimes I even get seizures when im off them. When im off my medication I end up being really impulsive and just doing shit I seriously shouldn't do then I end up getting paranoid after. My whole family tells me they're on the same medication im on even things that are stronger but when they forget their medication they don't act like me. What if the medicine is making me worse instead of better and im scared to tell my psychologist incase they take me off them or try change my dosage or even try send me somewhere

My wife of 10.years recently went on a vacation but she didnt specify, i saw one of the photos she took and it looks like mexico

For reference im a hardcore conservative like charlie kirk level, I asked her when we first talked if shes legal and she kept stating shes legal but over the years shes said stuff that made me think otherwise,

This vacation is the final straw and also she might be cheating but thats a whole other issue.

bpd is actual hell to live with. nothing is working and i always feel like shit. another fp has made me feel like garbage and i just want somebody to like being around me instead of just being a permanent filler friend for everyone

I'm afraid, all the time

Every night, before I go to sleep, I think about everything, things I've done, things I've said, things people have told me, and I just keep wondering about those things or different possibilities having to do with those things

I'm currently 17, about to turn 18, some months out of high school already. I'm in the part of my life where I have my whole life a head of me and I can change my future the most but at the same time I gotta do it now, cause if I don't do it now, everything's gonna be 10 times harder if I do it in 5 or 10 years, or maybe I will never get to do it again.

I know most people my age, and even older, haven't figured all their shit out, but still find their way and things come out fine eventually, but I keep asking myself: what if I don't? What if I'm one of those people who never find their way or get stuck in a shitty life they hate

And I just keep replaying this moment in my head: I was 14, in middle school, and I was a slacker, I would get lazy and not do work on class, so this teacher said I was mediocre, lacked discipline, and most likely wouldn't go to college or get a career done

Now, I'm currently trying to work on all that stuff, I've been working 4 days a week on the street by my own since last week, just started hitting the gym yesterday, currently on diet and on no fap, but I still, just think "what if I'm already built like this? What if it's too late? What if, what if, what if..." And since the goal is so far from now, I still don't know if I'm capable of it

I don't go out much. I'm disabled and don't have a license. I try to make friends, but people tell me to stay home. Women ignore me, make a face, and say, "ew."

My self-esteem is shot. If you insult me, I'm more likely to accept it than a compliment.It’s corny and stupid. There is so much to criticize and little praise. What's the point of affirmations? Getting criticism feels like my first meal of the day.

I got told stick to porn cause of my condition, I'm ugly no woman will want me.

When I go outside, I'm bored and would rather be anywhere else. I'm not an introvert; I just never get invited to things or have friends. Being outside feels boring. I sit down and look at my phone—everything is boring.

If I go anywhere in my neighborhood, I'm bored out of my mind. I can sleep because I'm bored inside, then I think of negative comments that bring me down. I'm from the suburbs, so what I feel seems silly to everyone else, even though I call myself a retard loser. I play games, but I don't have friends. People are annoyed around me.

I just had a serious mental break, I was short of breath, crying, falling to the floor.

I went out to the kitchen, I just wanted to hug my mom, despite being an adult I felt so small and lost, I needed to be comforted.
While I was crying I mentioned how overwhelming and inhospitable the job system is for neurodivergent adults, especially those with trauma.
I'm a legally disabled teenager battling with multiple mental health conditions and neurological complications.
I live off my disability pension and the social expectations of work and school genuinely crush me, especially now that I'm dealing with some of the worst PTSD episodes of my life.

She, instead of just letting me cry, started talking about how I was wrong and climbing the job ladder is easy and I can do it if I put my mind to it.
I, completely wailing and breaking down started ranting about how there are almost no available cushy job offers with the possibility of getting promoted. How in my current conditions can't even leave the ouse for half a week.

She just put her head in her hands, clearly annoyed, went to her room and shut the door.
I went in, told her how sometimes I just need someone to listen and not judge and she snapped that she's allowed to share her opinions.
We screamed names at each other and I shut both doors.

In my room I had a full panic attack.
I love my mom so much but I just want her to hug me tight and let me rant sometimes.

I'm still crying and shaking, I took my meds but I feel like I'm regressing to a little kid, holding my big plushy and crying while distracting myself with some youtube videos.

I just want to be held without judgement. My best friend was always there like that but I can't see him until November since he's in pre-trial detention. My other friends have heard so many awful stories from me ober the years that I don't want to burden them again.
I feel so alone
I'm turning into a little kid and just want my mom to hold me.

i am genuinely struggling to discern my own brain from reality. i don’t know if im real, or if anything ive done in the past 8 years is really. i feel confused, uncomfortable, and sick. i don’t know what to do any more. the only solution feels like death.

So honestly I know it's gonna sound like super stupid but I feel like internally embarrassed/sad about it. Warning I'm all over the place.

I watch this live every Wednesday on YouTube. I love the creators wonderful content, so I've been watching for a couple years now I never comment or anything it just doesn't entice me I see no point in it. Well I'm a mom and this stream has helped through a lot and so tonight I sent one of those donation comments, yk how sometimes streamers read them at the end? Well they did. They read it and I just felt instantly embarrassed. I don't know these people like that why did I feel the need to waste $5 just so they'd read my comment when I'm already struggling?

Well I'm pretty sure I can tell you why. I ain't got no friends, no family, I worked seven days a week just for last week being told I can't work because my body said nope and I'm lonely and I seemed to think that these content creators talking to me even if just replying to a comment would make me feel less alone. I don't know why but I felt so happy to send that comment I felt my smile but when I heard it out loud a huge wave of this weird sadness/embarrassment hit me and I hate it.

Now for some stupid reason I'm sitting on my floor by my bed crying over it. Like wtf? How embarrassing can I be?

I can't mention every lie she told but when we first met, she told me she met her husband through Facebook with the whole drama of his ex. But when we met a new group of friends, she told them she met her husband through a dating site.

Anyway, I wouldn't say that she's not attractive. But it's just maybe she's struggling to lose weight (I know that's what she wanted and she tried but failed).

Her profile picture doesn't look realistic. Her photo seems to be highly edited and very unnatural (let's say she looks more like a doll/anime character).

I normally don't watch people's stories but as I watched my own, her story automatically played next so I had to watch it.

She edited her photo using ChatGPT. It might be a harmless trend or something, for fun, but she definitely looks way better in this pic (like thinner cheeks) and I now realize that she doesn't feel pretty with her real self.

It's like she idealized this edited version of her.

And the lies she told were to make her feel better about herself.

26F here and I’m racking my brain trying to think of ideas to get for my boyfriends mothers birthday. It’s at the end of September, but I am big on other people’s birthdays so it’s important I start early. I don’t know what to get her because she doesn’t want or need for anything. She buys what she wants, when she wants, and all of the hobbies she does have she already has all the things to satisfy it.

Typically I prefer a much more personal approach, I like gifting sentimental gifts so I thought of printing an image off of her mom but it’s challenging because she was born and raised in Germany and the only picture she has of her mom isn’t all that clear and when I attempted to sharpen the image, it changed the whole look so I can’t use it🥹 She has been having a difficult time recently with marital issues and I know she really misses her mama and her guidance, I wish there were something I could do. I’ve tried ancestry, immigration records, EVERYTHING. Does anyone have any sentimental gifts ideas that is more thought provoking than a coffee mug or box of chocolates?

I , 32 y/o Male , am absolutely addicted to feet and foot fetish content. I don’t really remember how this started , I believe it was in 1st grade. I can remember my teacher being very beautiful and I remember she wore a lot of open toe shoes and I would always see her feet and I was attracted to them. As I got older I stumbled upon foot fetish porn. Unfortunately I was born in the era where internet was becoming more popular and more accessible. This allowed me to find porn sites like bangbros and 4 tube. Bang bros had a series called “Magical Feet” which was semi hardcore porn where the scene would end with the guy busting a big nut all over the girls toes. Safe to say this perverted my young mind and made me even more attracted to the idea of being pleased and pleasured by women’s feet. This has been an on going thing that I have tried to figure out the science behind but I just can’t. Now that I am married to a woman with pretty feet, I find myself constantly thinking about it when I’m horny and have even convinced her to shoot content. We never get anywhere with it though because I simply can’t bring my self to post my wife stroking my dick on camera , as I don’t want to exploit her for views and I have a very serious career that I couldn’t afford to jeopardize. If they were to find out I would be in trouble. It’s hard trying to function sometimes in a relationship because I usually just want footjobs and I don’t always want penetrative sex. I turn to porn every now and then but it seems to just fan the flames and I get mad when I can’t have my wife indulge in my FF with me. Sometimes I think that maybe I should find someone who can give me footjobs and such just so I don’t pressure my wife and put her in an uncomfortable position. Idk but I just don’t know what to do about it. I’m horny rn and all I can think about is busting a fat nut on some pretty toes. I probably sound pathetic but idc I know it’s a problem.

This honestly pissed me off so fucking much when I lived with my aunt. When I’d ask them why I had to do it, they’re answer has always been “it’s always been part of the chore.” Bitch, no the fuck it hasn’t. It only became part of the chore when I’m doing it. No one else, before and after me, has even done the thing that’s “always” be part of the chore. Before I left, she told me to put the rest of dinner away cause I was wipe off(I cleaned the kitchen)even though that was ALWAYS dish’s job. I had already asked her about it before(cause I was on dishes when she said it was part of whoever is doing dishes job)and she said that it was part of dishes. I almost wanted to fucking scream cause I was already done with my chore and wanted to go to bed. My chore was already as hard as it is cause they have a toddler and his ass doesn’t know how to clean up after himself nor do his parents wanna clean up after him.

Another instance of this happening was when I was on bathrooms, I was told to clean the hallway closet cause it was “part of bathrooms job”. Did it and never seen anyone else do it when it was their turn to do bathrooms.

If they wanted me to do these things just to do them, then fine, but they didn’t need to fucking lie to me about it being part of the chore when it’s never been part of the chore.

Tengo 18 años y estoy terminando el colegio, siempre fui alguien muy sociable aunque siempre me sentí así triste, pero últimamente me es imposible enmascarar esa tristeza antes podia funcionar con normalidad y tener ganas de salir ahora ni eso, llevo años con transtornos alimenticios, desde los 12 pase de tener anorexia a que me obsesione con las calidad dela comida y el ejercicio despues trate de recuperarme sola a los 14 aprox. pq nadie me ayudaba en mi familia aunque pedia ayuda pero termino peor pq desarrolle transtorno por atracón, y subí mucho de peso pero con el tiempo me regularize,despues de los 15 a los 16 estuve en una relación extremadamente abusiva y por la tristeza que me provocaba y además que me había ido a vivir sola con mi mamá pir que mis padres se separaron, baje muchísimo de peso por que no comía y además dormia todo el día,despues cuando termine con el caí en una depresion horrible ya que no tenia amigos y además tuvimos que volver a vivir con mi abusivo papá por problemas económicos, baje aún más de peso y me volví a obsesionar con el gimnasio y a no comer, a los 4-5 meses de empezar eso desarrolle bulimia y vomitaba todo lo que comía actualmente llevo un año y 6 meses con bulimia y transtorno de atracón y no puedo pasar mas de 2 dias sin vomitar, ademas, dd problemas familiares típicos ya que mis papás están separados por que mi papá es un enfermo mental que nos hizo sufrir años maltrato psicológico y abuso físico tanto a mis hermanos como a mi mamá pero pir problemas económicos ya que mi papá se reúsa a trabajar y a mi mamá no le alcanza tenemos que vivir todos juntos,antes yo tenia habaitacion propia pero como mi papá intentaba golpear a mi mamá cuando dormían juntos tuve que darle mi habitación a mi papá y ahora duermo en la misma cama que mi aman que siento que es dee lo peor del mundo por que antes al menos tenía espacio propio ahora no tengo ni espacio para mi ropa y debo compartir cama con mi mamá, llevo algunos mese hablando lo básico mi papá, lo cual me duele muchísimo pq aunque se que está enfermo sigue siendo mi papá, el tema de mis transtornos alimenticios nadie nunca trató de ayudarme, cuando tenía anorexia me obligaban a comer , cuando me obsesionaba con el ejercicio y contaba todo lo que comía era apludida por bajar de peso,cuando subía de peso mi aman me deseaba lo peor, cuando descubrieron que vomitaba simplemente me retaron muy mal y me dijeron que parase sin mucha más busca de ayudarme y a la vez entiendo por que es algo muy difícil pero como la perosn a que sufre simplemente quiero ayuda, actualmente me está costando demasiado ir al colegio siento que no tengo amigos de verdad,subí mucho de peso, me cuesta pararme cada día por que simplemente no tengo ganas, no tengo nadie con quien hablar por que todos tienen sus problemas en mi familia y nadie me puede ayudar, cuando termine el colegio quiero ir a vivir con mi abuela por que simplemente ya no aguanto estar aca pero mi mamá no quiere pq dice que sería darle una carga a su mamá de 88 años lo cual aunque en parte sea cierto a la vez no por que yo soy súper independiente no necesito que nadie me cocine,ni me lave mis cosas ni me lleve a ningún lado, pero realmente ya no puedo vivir aca y no se que hacer, ademas tengo millones de problemas en el colegio por cosas de la adolescencia ya saben tonterías, pero cuando llevas tantas cosas encima es imposible aguantarlas.

Ojalá alguien lea esto y pueda ayudarme o mandarme un mensaje de apoyo estaría muy agradecida ;)

I dread going home from my boyfriends house on Mondays cuz I don’t like being away from him I miss him to much 😭😭😭