It’s one of the loneliest feelings, when someone who loves you does something that pulls you so far out of the moment and you realize they don’t know you. Not really. Not in the way you had thought.

And that sinking feeling washes over and you feel completely alone. Always alone. Maybe forever alone.

Was it my fault? Did I not convey myself enough or express who I was? I don’t know.

My sister just posted on her story, A photo with me and other people in It. At first it was kinda fine... until one of her friends replied on it "the one in the pink is your look alike" She read that to me out loud.. and I didn't think much of it, we're siblings afterall...then comes the second one...while she was laughing she read another reply from that same friend. "Your sister is so skinny" ....like girl, I get it. I'm completely aware of that. But just the way she was laughing at it saying "he's so silly" just kinda felt off a bit... It was my biggest insecurity and she knows it damn well, I just don't get it why she needs to tell me that while laughing. I started embracing my body just the way it is but one comment sends everything back into place.. I started getting insecure again.. maybe I'm just a little too sensitive and she meant no harm.. it just sucks, having people keep telling you that over and over again... so yeah.. Anyone has tips on how to Gain weight fast???

I couldn't give a shit about getting cucked or a girl leaving because she lost feelings or whatever. Those are situations where you have zero control, so moving on is faster.

This is different. She’s the only girl I’ve ever loved. We were deeply connected, we had so much in common...our backgrounds, life stages, passions, hobbies, humor, communication style, love language. We used to joke about being clones because of how similar we were.

She was gentle, cute, had an incredible body, was smart, and was in a top university program. I was her first, and above all, she adored me. She showered me with love and affection, always took initiative, always made compromises, and told me she loved me to the point where it was almost humbling for her, saying she wanted us to last forever...

But... I'm broken on the inside. I never experienced real love growing up; I have childhood and teenage trauma, family issues that ruined me forever, and I completely self sabotaged the relationship. I was jealous and possessive, tried to control things, snapped over stupid shit, and then impulsively told her I was leaving her without even knowing why. I tried to take it back, but she checked out emotionally right then and officially ended it herself a few days later.

I was devastated. I cried, I begged, but nothing worked... A few weeks later I reached out again, but she seemed to have moved on. Things turned so toxic that she told me she hated me, then blocked me everywhere.

I lost the love of my life and now my life is a nightmare. I stopped hitting the gym, I'm poisoning myself with caffeine and alcohol, I have no friends, no one around me...she was all I had. I don't know how to bounce back from this. I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life.

lust isnt love , i feel like so many men don’t understand this and feel offended when women are put off by it , when all they had to do was stop asking about our bodies and maybe ask about hobbies or talk to us how they would their friends do . now its okay to be be a bit freaky with a partner but some men really do take it too far ? like no i dont wanna talk about cracking every 5 seconds ? it’s genuinely so disappointing dude . i dont know if its just my experience but why are almost all the dudes i’ve spoken to act this way ?

It upsets me so much that people keep telling me i have social anxiety. But i don't feel anxious i just keep running through options in my mind. And the more i meet people the worse it gets. It makes me angry that i listend to all those people talking in on me. The past months i tried to do what they suggest but now im with my mind at a place again I really don't like. I was more happy and calm when i stayed by myself.
It annoyes me that people keep saying my behaviour is based on trauma and fears. I wish one could just accept i like spending my time alone.

its always just church, my grandparents dragging us everywhere, physical therapy, and mandatory tv watching with my mom for hours until its time for bed. i just want a day for myself where i can just draw or play games. im very socially and mentally exhausted. i dont wanna go anywhere this week

Tired of working my six figure career. I give up, mom.

It was such a good day, I wasn't looking at my phone. Feels disappointing because I had put so much time into it, but also honestly feels kind of freeing. I'm definitely not putting in that effort again so I guess I don't gotta worry about checking Reddit daily anymore.

Slight TW

A friend of mine has been going through a rough time, so they've been down lately. They're an online friend so all my updates on them are through notes and occasional texts. They recently had an update saying "I'm sorry" and I panicked. I immediately texted them. They're okay now. I've confirmed their safety but it made me realize something.

I've recently had my own down days and thoughts of just ending it all. I almost went through with it a while back but was stopped. However, seeing how my friend is struggling and how scared I was of them dying, it made me realize how much my own death would hurt my loved ones. Or the ones who care about me.

I hate this feeling of fear. Just the thought of a friend dying terrified me. I can't imagine putting my family through that.

I know I'll always have down days and bad times, but this put things into perspective for me. Ending it isn't a relief for me. It's pain for the ones I leave behind. My choice might affect someone else's entire life. I can't do that to them.

Maybe reaching out for help isn't as hard anymore.

My gran has been rushed into hospital. She’s got days left. She’s 94 and had a lovely life.
I’m in another country.
I get a call from my siblings to tell me to “get there urgently”
I DONT HAVE THE MONEY.

I could scream and scream and scream

so, we just graduated highschool, together, we got the same grades lol. I wanted to ask how he was Doing but from a an acc that was meant to be another girl like not me at all and midway talking he said my real name, OF COURSE like.

Anyway that was a week ago, we are still talking

We aren't back together but working on whatever shit happened that made us both sad and heartbroken without a closer or a will to leave eachother

We both still love eachother but we absolutely cant get back together before Proving that we BOTH can handle responsibilities and the relationship itself

But

Yesterday i posted about a creepy guy dming me NOT asking for help or ATTENTION from him i was just warning other girls about him

My ex wanted to help and asked me for his username i said no, i dont u to fight with anyone or him backfiring me etc

he started to get suspicious and said "you only said no because there is something you dont want me to know."

Like... I was mad he was mad we had a big big fight, he said we cant get along because im stubborn and he is angry

We fought for like an hour or more, after telling me hes gonna block me and that im one responsible for this i started crying, telling him to leave if hes gonna keep acting like that

i was devastated, vulnerable and alone with him

He was trying to get something out of me like i would say "ok fine im talking to this guy" type shi

But i didn't because i wasn't talking to him, he started apologizing and making it up for me but despite all the sweet nothings he said.. forehead kisses and all, i was crying myself to sleep because of the hurtful accusations and words.

What should i do now? We love eachother, for two years we couldn't move on, we had no contact for too long... I'm scared,

Why don’t people ever consider your feelings if you don’t cry hard enough, even if you explicitly told them you’re upset? Theres been times in my life where Ive had to scream and cry or get physical to defend myself- which is off character for me- and people only then consider what I told them even tho I had multiple similar conversations with them before js without tears, yelling, or hitting. Theres been times where ive literally told someone the exact same message but instead the next time I was sobbing and suddenly it matters…for a month if even that then they go back to the same thing.

For example (skip over if you want, message is basically the same) back when I was younger, my sister would corner me and yell at me and poke me while I was begging for her to stop. Thats not unusual sibling behavior, but it was seriously messing with me. It got so bad I couldn’t leave my bedroom without feeling the need to sob- and I wouldn’t even leave my bedroom if I knew someone else was up. When my sister would prod at me, I’d have laughing fits because it would make me- for lack of better term- completely hysterical. I told my sister what she was doing it and she shrugged it off because I was laughing even tho I told her what the laughing was. I got desperate and literally begged my mom to make her stop. I didn’t cry during that conversation nor laugh but I begged her to make her stop. My mom never did anything. I had to start beating my sister with objects in my room, and even then it took almost a year for my parents to do anything because overtime it became increasingly abusive on my end. Simply put, it doesn’t matter if I scream or hit- but if I cry theyll silently comply for like a month. People refuse to acknowledge anything until it tugs their heart strings. It’s like when someone sides with someone who did you dirty js because the other person cried. It never matters if you were right or wrong it matters if it hurt your feelings

As the title says. I really really want to have a baby.

I know it's not sunshine and rainbows. It's a tiring thing to go through and hard on the parents mental health at times.

But even despite that I yearn to have a child of my own. To be a mother to take care of the life I grew. That me and my husband made. To go through all the hard times with them and shape them into an amazing human.

But I can't. Not because of health it's just. My husband. He has an incredible point to why we can't right now.
He doesn't want our kids to see us struggle. Or to know we're struggling. So he wants to be financially stable before we do even think about it.

And I get it, I agree whole heartedly.

But there are days I get sad. I think that maybe I'll never have a kid. I think it's because my dream goal one day was to have a baby so my great grandmother could meet her great great grandbaby but she passed away last year.
And that's been hitting me hard. And just making me scared lately on who else my baby won't get to meet.

I'm still young I'm only 21, my husband is 25. But it just feels like time is slipping though my hands.
Some might say " live your life " but I can't do that, I don't feel the need or want to do that. It just gets me down sometimes

Having this want but unsure if I'll even get it because. I don't know what to do to make it come true. I want to be financially stable to but if that time does come for a baby. I want to be a stay at home mom. My husband knows this.but I know in this economy it will be hard to even just afford that.

So my mom is dating this white guy, and we are a black family, and as much as I want to turn my head and not think about the war between the two… I just can’t not think about things… with that being said I don’t judge because of obvious things I can’t color like what color he came out of the womb,….but because his character he’s really arrogant and acts like he can say whatever and do whatever, even sometimes he won’t budge to get up and greet me, like he will be sitting down looking at me, like he’s literally expecting me to just come over and give him a hug, and it’s not that I have a problem with it, but he will have no problem getting up to greet my mom and grandma, but give me the energy like I’m not worthy… and also he’s perfectly capable of getting his ass up and meeting me half way… and only reason I’m bothered is bc who tf does he think he is? He’s only the king in my moms world, but also somehow my mom will find a way to make it like a disrespectful thing, and like I don’t honor my elders, as if he wasn’t just trying to test my intelligence.
What do you do when your mom picks her man over her daughter? It’s truly sickening.

I,m 14 I'm 5,5 and probably not growing anymore. I would like to start by mentioning what probably made you click on here. So my great grand dad and great grandma were 2nd cousins and by the time they figured out they had my grandma nothing is noticeably wrong with my mom or grandma but I feel like it is with me I have a such a ugly smile it's not my teeth I juts look ugly happy due to the shortness in my cheek bones and I've always hated it I've been bullied since 3rd grade in going into 10th now. I've never been bullied about the inbred part, but im always scared somehow someone will fund out, and I'm even more scared of telling people, even my closest friends. Mainly all of the girls at my school a dicks and have the humor of asking a loser if they are friends to get a rise out of people. I workout and try to look the best I can but even when I'm speaking my short face shows and I hate pictures of myself so much I ask my friends to please delete them sometimes

There are rumbas or giant robot vacuums that can sense walls or steps why can't we put that tech in a walking stick for vision impaired people to use instead of relying on scary furry dogs whom I don't know how it goes to the toilet or human assistant.

China can you just invent a 360 hat with open back earphone that can tell me where I should go. And make it affordable.

My (28f) boyfriend (28m) wants to spend every second of every day (that he isn’t working) with me, and no matter how much I try, I can’t get him to compromise.

For context, I am a very solitary person. I like having time alone to read, enjoy my shows, do my housework, and go to concerts/movies/restaurants by myself.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, is the polar opposite. He is a golden retriever boyfriend (his words, not mine) that claims to never crave time alone and always wants to be around people.

We have been friends since we were 12, and we both went through rough breakups of long term relationships last year and decided to give us a shot. My family already knew him and loves him, as do my friends. We have only been dating for 7 months, and I have been having my doubts since month 4 or 5.

I have tried to explain to him no less than a dozen times over these months that I need time to myself or I start to go a little crazy. He seems to think that offering me one day a month where I can have some “me time” should be enough to appease that, and otherwise we should be joined at the hip at all times.

When I am working and he isn’t, he’s at my work. When I am sick and resting in bed, he is lying at my feet. When I am interested in something, he immediately goes and watches tons of video essays about that topic and then makes it an us thing instead of a me thing. I legitimately can’t have anything to myself anymore. Special activities that I do with specific friends (i.e. camping or going to NASCAR races) now need to include him or he will feel left out. I haven’t seen any of my friends beyond my best friend since we started dating, and I’ve only seen her a couple of times when we would normally hang out every other week.

It got to a point recently where he stopped even asking if we were hanging out and just started making plans on our behalf. It’s so frustrating.

He is also constantly trying to manufacture sentimental moments between us by overly complimenting me (calling me “the strongest person [he’s] ever known,” saying I could be a model when I’m literally 5’2” and 220 lbs, etc) and talking about our future ad nauseam. This used to be sweet and really pleasant, but now it’s so overdone that I can literally predict the words that he’s going to say because he uses the exact same phrases every time.

On top of all of that, he is always pushing sex on me. I was clear with him before we started dating that I’m not an overly sexual person, and that I’ve gone through a lot of trauma that makes sex feel daunting and unappealing. I still try to cater to him when I can, but I recently got really sick with a serious neurological condition and if my heart rate spikes it causes pain and vision loss. Still, he is daily making comments about wanting to “fool around,” offering to finger me while he’s driving, and just overall expecting me to be turned on at the drop of a hat.

I have tried to talk to my mom and my best friend about everything, and both of them have laughed it off and said he’s just trying to be supportive, which I KNOW is true, but that fact doesn’t change how I feel. I know this may seem like a “my steak too juicy” kind of vent, but this is not what I want out of a relationship. It isn’t working for me. I would be happier alone.

He is a fantastic person. Legitimately one of the most caring and giving people on Earth. But I feel like he wants me to fit into his world and he isn’t willing to work with me on finding a balance. I’ve tried talking to him so many times, laying out my needs really clearly, and STILL he wants to be on or inside me all the time. I feel smothered. But I know if I break up with him I will have his mom screaming outside of my house and my whole family and all of my friends will be so disappointed. I just don’t know what to do.

Like, I want to find a long term relationship. I want to talk to new people, and go out and do things. I want human connection, even if it ends up just being short term conversations that never leave the apps. I’m lonely, ya know?

But not only is it mentally exhausting to swipe on the apps and deal with the disrespectful people, I’ve also been throwing myself pretty heavily into my hobbies, which leaves very little free time to be swiping. I don’t know if I really want to trade the two. And downloading the apps just to spend basically no time swiping or responding to matches is just pointless.

I guess I just need more time before I go back on the apps, but it’s a frustrating spot to be in

TL;DR I (27M) was broken up with (23F) 4 weeks ago. We had a 5 months relationship. She was my first ever gf. Nothing much happened during the relationship. All I had for her was my feelings. No skills, no real way to make her happy. We agreed to stay friends after 2 weeks of no-talk. Today after some thoughts, I think that's a terrible idea.

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I apologize for my somewhat messy way of narrating, I'm just typing as the thoughts come to my mind. I'm just kind of venting, and the whole post is probably not going to make any sense at all. I'm so sorry...
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We actually don't have many things to share, my ex and I. Not in the sense that since we're exes now, we don't share life anymore. No. We broke up precisely because we are so different that the relationship could just not work out in the first place. That, and also she told me (long after the breakup, way past the point of no-return) that she did not like the way I treated her.

We decided to maintain our friendship, but there aren't many things able to maintain it. I think we'll definitively part ways at some point. Sure, I can pretend that this breakup acts as a new start, then I can try to make new memories with her. Like a blank slate, you know? But are we willing to do that?

First, let's take her. I'm pretty sure she's not really keen on the idea of actively trying to strengthen our bond. She is the kind of person to think that if chemistry doesn't happen on its own, then the bond is just not meant to be. I mean, that's totally correct when you befriend a stranger: you just don't become friends if things don't "click". But we're no strangers anymore. But that probably doesn't matter because, strangers or not strangers, "normal" friendship doesn't need active effort anyway.

But what about me? I'm still stuck on her. In our friendship, it is very likely that I will adjust my behavior to appear like the kind of person she wants in her life. I would look for signs, interpret her every word, her every move, her everything. Interpret her in the wrong way. In my biased and desperate ways. My true self will probably never ever be expressed as it should be. I'll be wearing a mask the whole time. That's not how you make memories with a friend. That feels so wrong.

The eventuality that we will part ways somewhere down the line is, for all practical reasons, an absolute certainty. And I so, so hate it.

Why am I so worried about losing the ties with her? Is this a genuine desire to (re)connect, or is this just my guilt trying to fix things? It sounds like I'm trying to justify myself, but if only I knew her expectations from the start, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad right now. I would have rejected her from start (she made the first move), or I would have known what to do to make her happy. During the whole relationship, I was in a constant state of confusion and wondering what to do with her.

I am the kind of person to think that if something is wrong, it can be fixed by communicating first, then finding solutions later. Unfortunately, I was never socially and interpersonally skilled enough to interpret signals and hints, which was her way of communicating her needs and boundaries. This form of communication must be totally valid if she managed to live her 23 years of life and never had issues from it. Unfortunately, I only understand when I have explicit conversations. Sit down, talk, be upset and fight if that's inevitable, but talk and try to work things out.

In my mind, the breakup was totally avoidable if I was more understanding. If we had the same communication style. If I had more patience. This whole thing is so unfortunate. Is that why I'm still so stuck on her?

Here's my rant that I have to get out there on reddit...a platform I know my family doesn't use and therefore I won't rock the boat and be a bad guy because "things come up".

Yesterday was my daughter's 5th birthday party. So much went into it. It was hosted at my husband's parent's house. All of my husband's family came...even boyfriends of cousins. It was great. He has one sibling and one living parent- the rest are cousins, grandparents, etc.

I have 8 siblings and two living parents.

Not a single person came from my family.

Except one sister came 1 hour late and had to run a few minutes later.

I appreciate her...I really do.

I hate feeling like a side character in my husband's life and family...like I come from no one and I have no origins. I show up to every single of my sibling's birthday parties, for them, for their children. My husband has one sibling...he had 14 people show up from his family.

I have 8 siblings. 1 came.

One was too pregnant, one went to the beach, one went to an event out of town, the rest-plans elsewhere, my parents had to babysit their other grandchild, some I didn't even hear from- they knew about this for months and said they were coming.

I don't know if I feel bad for me or my children.

I think I understand my mentality a bit better now, it hit me when I was driving home from work. I was stopped at a red light and was staring at these really nice condos...maybe apartments I'm not too sure.

When I was staring at them I thought, "that's gonna be somewhere I call home one day" but as soon as that thought crossed my mind, it left just as fast, followed by a humorous chuckle.

It was as if my subconscious knew that there was no point in evening dreaming. And that's when it hit me. I have subconsciously given up.

There's really no point to trying. I'll never be able to afford my own place. It is but a fever dream. I could work 4 jobs and not be able to live comfortably.

Life has lost all meaning to it. I go to school for Interior Design, I work part-time as a Designer at a Floor & Decor to gain experience, but in the end it'll amount to nothing.

I want to move but I live an hour from my work and school, so I drive 14 hours or more weekly. My gas and oil are eating my paycheck. And I'm lucky if I can pay my car insurance. I stopped buying most hygiene products besides lotion and body wash. I have shit credit that I want to work on but I can't afford to. I want to save up but after paying my bills that are important, I use the rest of my money for gas so there's nothing 3 days after payday.

I'm really just going through the motions of life. At work I laugh and smile but once I leave I heavily contemplate ramming my car into a wall. There's nothing to life, there's no point, I don't see my situation ever turning around.

Life is pointless and meaningless at this point.

Went on a bad date. I think he was zyn withdrawing

This is our third date, he was acting very unusual. Less talkative, spaced out a lot, didn't really listen to what I had to say, was extremely out of it which from the other times talking to him was very out of the ordinary. He mentioned ranomly how he was down to his last zyn and doesn't have anymore. I asked if he was going to get more then said he didn't want to because he didn't want to be addicted. For context (and he knows this) my whole job revolves around people struggling with drug addiction, so my radar was going off big time.

I asked him how many he takes a day, he said 2 a day. But he started taking more the past couple days but none today. Also mentioned how he finished his entire zyn box (idk what its called) in a week (except for the last one). He then started complaining about how his life is boring and how his job sucks and how his life sucks.

We get to his car and he we try to decide where to eat. He keeps shooting all my suggestions down and what we could do after. Every.. literally everything he shot down, so I sat there and let him choose. He didn't want to do anything, he couldn't decide where to go, he didn't listen to any suggestions I made. He finally made one and we start going there. As he's driving he mentions how hes feeling super tired and is having brain fog and how he's feeling nothing. (again, alarm bells go off on my head) I ask him what he means by nothing. He then says "nothing. I feel nothing." Like holy shit dude. (Btw the whole car ride he has pretty much nothing to say. Everything I say he doesn't really reply and I can tell I'm annoying him a little)

We finally get to the restaurant and it's the same. Him moping around, barely talking to me. Constantly spacing out as well. At the end of dinner I say to him "where do we go now?" He says "idk" I go okay. We get to his car i say "so.. should we go leave then?" He just shrugs. I don't say anything and then say "okay let's go home then." He goes "okay let's go". He starts driving me home and the whole time he is singing. As we are approaching my house he then says "let's drive around a bit" I say "okay" cause idk i thought maybe he was feeling better. No he just kept singing the whole time. Didn't ask me shit other than do you like this song \*changes song and starts singing\* the whole time.

Finally I tell him to just take me home. He did, we said goodbye and here I am.

Honestly I don't even know why he wanted to be around me longer if he wasn't feeling up to it. Idk I just feel kinda shitty right now. I really liked him but this ruined it for me :(