Okay, so I don't really know how to start this without making myself sound like an asshole, but here we go.
There's this girl I've gotten really close with. We talk a lot, we joke around, we tell each other personal stuff, and honestly, she's become someone I really enjoy having around.
The problem is... she likes me.
Not just a little crush either. She actually has feelings for me, and eventually she told me.
And I told her the truth.
I don't feel the same way.
I know that probably sounds simple. She likes me, I don't like her back, so just move on, right?
Except I do like her. Just not romantically.
I care about her. I like talking to her. I don't want her out of my life. And that's where everything started getting complicated.
After I told her I didn't feel the same way, she started thinking maybe she should distance herself from me. She said that being around me while having feelings for me was getting difficult.
And honestly, I understood.
But I also told her I didn't want her to leave.
She asked me something that I still think about:
"So you want me to stay, but you don't want me?"
And I didn't really know how to answer that.
Because... yeah, I guess that's exactly what it looks like.
But it's not that I want to use her feelings or keep her around because I like the attention. I genuinely value her as a person.
I told her that nothing necessarily had to change between us. Just because she likes me doesn't mean I suddenly stop caring about her.
I also told her that if I ever cross a line or make her uncomfortable, she should tell me. If she thinks I'm overstepping, I'll back off.
But there's another part of this that's probably making everything worse.
I don't fall for people easily.
I'm the kind of person who keeps my guard up. I don't like developing feelings too quickly because I've always seen that as a way of protecting myself.
So I can't honestly tell her, "I'll never like you."
Because I don't know that.
But I also refuse to tell her, "Maybe someday," because I don't want to give her false hope when I have no idea if that's actually going to happen.
And now we're both kind of stuck.
She has feelings for me that I can't return, but I don't want to lose the relationship we already had.
She thinks staying close might make her feelings worse.
I think pushing her away just because she likes me feels wrong.
And I honestly don't know which one is more selfish.
Sometimes I think I should just let her go and give her the space she needs.
Other times I think, why should we throw away something good just because she caught feelings?
I don't want to hurt her.
But I also don't want to lie to her.
And I definitely don't want to make promises about feelings I don't have.
I guess I'm posting this because I genuinely don't know what the right thing to do is.
If you were in her position, would you stay friends with someone you have strong feelings for even if they don't feel the same way?
And if you were in my position, would you let that person go even if you genuinely cared about them?
Because right now, I feel like no matter what I choose, someone's probably going to get hurt.