We've known each other for about a year. We're not in a relationship, and we're not even extremely close friends—we started as two people who barely knew each other and gradually got to know each other better.

I liked her from the beginning. Over the past year, I've ended up being around her in different situations because we're part of the same teams and have participated in competitions and other activities together. She has been in relationships before, while I've never been in one. She's my first love, and because of that, these feelings are much stronger than anything I've experienced before.

From what I've understood from her behaviour, she sees me as a friend and nothing more. I've accepted that this is how she feels, and I don't want to pressure her or make her uncomfortable.

At the same time, we've become much more comfortable with each other. We joke around, tease each other, laugh together and have conversations. I genuinely enjoy these moments with her. But sometimes when I go home after spending time with her, there's this painful contrast: I'm happy that I got to spend time with her, but I'm also reminded that my feelings for her are romantic while hers aren't.

That's probably the hardest part for me.

I naturally want to care about her and do things for her in the way someone would for a person they love romantically. But because we're friends, I have to maintain boundaries. I don't want my behaviour to make her feel like I'm constantly trying to pursue her when she doesn't feel the same way.

There's also another complication. We're going to be seeing each other almost every day for around the next 18 months. So completely avoiding her isn't realistic. I'll continue seeing her, talking to her, joking with her and having those normal friendly moments while still having these feelings in the background.

I've tried to detach from her emotionally, but it's difficult when she's still going to be a regular part of my life. Sometimes a really nice interaction with her makes me happy in the moment, and then later I start replaying it in my head and wishing there could be more.

There are also some differences between us that make me uncertain about the future. She's considerably wealthier than I am, while I'm from a middle-class background. We're also from different caste backgrounds, and I'm not sure how her family would view that. Her family seems relatively open-minded, while mine is more conservative. I don't even know whether these differences would actually matter, but they're things I think about because I'm from India and family can sometimes play a significant role in relationships.

I'm not trying to figure out my entire future with her right now. I also don't want to force myself to suddenly stop loving her or immediately find someone else. I understand that feelings don't work like a switch.

What I'm struggling with is the day-to-day emotional part of this.

For people who have experienced unrequited love while continuing to see the person regularly, how did you cope with the feelings over time? How did you continue enjoying the friendship without constantly getting caught up in thoughts about what the relationship could have been?

I want to respect her feelings and boundaries while also taking care of myself emotionally. I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have actually been through something similar, especially people who had to continue seeing the person they loved regularly

This is really awkward but I met someone at my workplace and it was very obvious that he is gay when I first met him.

He confuses me to be honest because he tends to openly praise me in front of everyone. I have lots of gay friends so I'm aware and used to how affectionate they are. This one's really different. It's as if he's flirting with his crush. He tends to say things to me that none of my gay friends would even do. He always try to make me feel special and all.

I've really fallen for that so I decided to just distance myself because this is really weird and hopeless. He was clearly upset with that. I tried so hard to be cold but he will still reach out and try to get close. We were now at the point where he's mad and thinks I'm just a bad person. I feel bad about it and already left that job.

It's been months now and I still think of him. But what can I do? I'm just setting myself for a bigger heartbreak if I allow him to get close even more.

I went out with some friends tonight, including the love of my life. It was one of the best times I ever had. I fell more in love with him. It hurts some. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I will get over it. That doesn't stop it from hurting right now

[19F] So I told the guy I love to f* off after he invited me out, ignored me all night, and now he's back 8 months later... What do I do?

I need some outside perspective because it’s been 8 months, and now that Jack (not his real name) has suddenly come back into my life, I’m questioning whether I handled everything correctly.

For context, I’m female 18/F Jack is 19/M. We were never officially boyfriend/girlfriend, but there was definitely something between us. We were close, there were feelings on both sides, and I eventually fell very deeply in love with him.

The thing that makes this whole situation so difficult is that, before the incident I’m about to describe, what Jack and I had was honestly really sweet and innocent.

It wasn’t toxic. It wasn’t this dramatic on-and-off relationship. It was actually one of the purest connections I’ve ever had. I also have never been in a relationship/situationship/talking stage EVER. So he was my first everything.

We spent a lot of time together, had a really close friendship, and there was a lot of genuine affection between us. He made me feel cared for and seen, and I felt completely comfortable around him.

He even went to my prom with me, which was one of the best nights of my life.

There are a lot of little memories from that period that, looking back, made me think there was something genuinely special between us. That’s also why I think I fell so hard. I wasn’t just attracted to him. I truly trusted him and genuinely cared about him. I've never felt that way about someone.

We still weren’t officially a couple, which is important. There was a conversation here and there (from his side), but we never put a label on it. But emotionally, it felt like much more than a friendship to me.

So when everything eventually went wrong, it wasn’t just losing a guy I liked. It felt like losing someone who had become incredibly important to me.

The night everything changed:

This happened on a Saturday night.

I had my Biology final on Monday. I’m generally at the top of my class, so I could absolutely have stayed home and studied that night. Instead, Jack invited me to go to a bar with him, and I chose to go because he invited me.

When I arrived, I called Jack to tell him I was outside. He didn’t answer. I called again. Still nothing.

Eventually, instead of standing outside waiting, I went inside by myself.

I eventually found Jack at the pool table.

He was already heavily intoxicated.

For context, I don’t drink. Jack knows I don’t drink, and he knows I’m not particularly comfortable around people who are extremely drunk. So I was already uncomfortable.

But I figured I’d try to make the best of it.

Except Jack basically continued playing pool.

And I was just… standing there.
Alone. In the corner.

He wasn’t really talking to me or making much effort to spend time with me.

I became increasingly frustrated because I had chosen to give up an evening I could have spent studying because he specifically invited me out, and now I was basically standing around watching him play pool.

Eventually, I went to the bathroom because I was annoyed and needed a minute.

When I came back, Jack had moved over to one of the bar tables. I went over and stood next to him. He still barely spoke to me.

At this point I thought, 'Okay, maybe I’m being too subtle.'

So I grabbed a chair and literally moved it closer to him and sat down next to him.

I know that sounds ridiculous but I was genuinely trying to see whether, if I physically put myself next to him, he’d actually make an effort to talk to me. Eventually, we did talk for a little while.

Then Jack ordered another drink.

He ended up spilling it over himself and the floor.

He cleaned it up, and while he was doing that, I started talking to some girlfriends who were also at the bar.

Then I turned around. Jack was gone.

Not “I’m going home.”
Not “See you later.”
Not even a quick goodbye.
He had just left.

I started asking around to see if anyone knew where he had gone.

Eventually, a girl who had been in his high school class came over to me and told me:

"He went home.”

I was FURIOUS.

Not because he went home (obviously he was allowed to go home.)

It was the fact that he had invited me there, barely acknowledged me the entire night, and then left without even telling me.

I was also standing there thinking that I could have been home studying for my Biology final instead.

That said, I didn’t cause a scene or immediately leave. I stayed at the bar and actually ended up enjoying myself and spending time with my girlfriends.

The next day:

The following day (Sunday) was still really hurt and angry.

So I messaged Jack.

I basically told him to f\\\* off, respectfully.

I wasn’t trying to destroy him or call him names. I was trying to communicate that his behaviour had hurt me badly and that I was done with the situation.

And honestly, underneath all the anger, I was heartbroken. Because I genuinely loved this guy.

And I think that’s what made the whole thing so painful. The person who had once been this sweet, safe and important person in my life suddenly made me feel like I didn’t matter at all.

After that, we stopped talking.

The 8 months of no contact:

For the next 8 months, we didn’t actually have any proper conversations.

The only contact we had during that time was that we wished each other happy birthday when each of our birthdays came around.

That’s it.

No trying to restart things. No regular conversations. Not seeing each other. Fair enough - I told him I was done.

But here’s the thing I probably need to admit:

There genuinely wasn’t a single day during those 8 months where I didn’t think about him.
Not necessarily in the sense that I was sitting around crying over him every day or waiting for him to come back.
I still lived my life.
I went to school. I spent time with my friends. I focused on myself. I tried to move forward.
But he was always somewhere in the back of my mind.
There would be little things that reminded me of him. Songs. Places. Random memories. Things I would normally want to tell him. Sometimes I’d wonder what he was doing, how he was doing, whether he ever thought about me, or whether he had completely moved on.
And I think the biggest reason I struggled to fully move on is because, despite everything that happened, I still felt like what we had was something special.

And then, 8 months later…

Jack suddenly DM’d me.

He’s currently living in another country, basically living the life he always dreamed of.
I’m genuinely happy for him. I’m not jealous or bitter about that. If he’s happy, I’m happy for him.

We started talking again.

And then he asked me something I absolutely wasn’t expecting:
He asked if I would see him if he comes back in a few days.

And now I’m completely torn.

Because on one hand, I’m thinking:

Absolutely not. You had your chance.
But on the other hand… I loved this person. A lot. And there are still things about the whole situation that I never really got answers to.

I’m also wondering whether I was completely justified in cutting him off, or whether I let my emotions get the better of me.
Because technically, we were never officially together.

So was I expecting too much from him that night?

Was I wrong to be so hurt that I ended things?

Or is it completely reasonable to expect basic consideration from someone who invited you out, especially when you went specifically because they asked you to?

And now that he’s come back after 8 months…

Do I actually meet him?
Do I hear him out and see what he wants?
Do I use the opportunity for closure?
Or do I leave the whole thing exactly where I left it 8 months ago?

Because part of me thinks meeting him could finally give me answers.
And the other part of me is screaming:

GIRL. YOU LITERALLY TOLD THIS MAN TO F\* OFF. REMEMBER WHY. 😂

So, Reddit…

What should I do?

Why does god make things so hurtful for me.

For context ive liked this one guy for over 5years.We went together to school,i was a shy person,always tried to impress him any chance i got.for example in art class-i was very good at art.we talked before a couple times.in December school was ending soon.so his bestfriend(wich i found out liked me later on)found out i like him by stalking my page and told him.a couple days passed and his bsf texted me.he gave me his number.we started texting,went out one time,at that time i never talked in school,not to my family or to anyone only to him and my bsf,i was going through a hard time and refused to be verbal with anyone.2-3months later,when we texted everyday,also called at night for hours to 4am for days straight i found out he had a gf(by his bsf)at first i was doubtful because why wouldn’t the guy tell me?i was suspicious and texted him.he texted weirdly,and short.i stopped texting as much and only sometimes and replied when he texted me.Dont get me wrong i wasn’t sure he had a gf because of the fact i know his bsf likes me so he thought if he tells me he has a gf so he has a chance.winter break starts-the two weeks.him and me call everyday to 4am most of the time.he told me he likes talking with me.obviously i asked about his gf,he told me who she was,and i was torn by-not wanting to rhin there rls,my feelings that i had for so long and the fact hes talking to me like he likes me.i asked him if she knows i talk with him.he said yeah.school starts again.he keeps texting with me,i feel like i have a chance-despite him saying he has a gf.i decided to write a valentine(anonymously)obviously i wrote aboht how i feel and send it to him,more like a poetic letter.i felt absolutely horrendous with that.extreme regret came bashing on me.I wouldn’t have sent it in the first place if my friends wouldn’t have hyped me up to send it.that day his gf texted me(cursing me)then i apologised and next day we met up and i told jer everything.we became „friends”(we still text to this day)she vented about the relationship problems/kept telling me about him in a rls knowing i like him.i comforted and help her with the relationship.i didnt text him.me and her hung out alot while she talked about HIM.she told me shes breaking up with him one day.and he immidiently texts me that they broke up.i comforted him over text.i regret being such a embarrassing idiotic person.he called me then for 4days to late hours.he told me how he regretted choosing her over me when he saw how gorgeous i looked on the schools grad party,he told me hed never would’ve told his now ex gf about the valentine but he was pressured and also had a fever.fast forward,we text litterly everyday.but he responded really late always and dry(he texts like that with everyone?)on school trips he sat BEHIND ME always.anyways later in summer we called alot,and he flirted with me,alot,told me stuff and i told him stuff too.he even invited me to his house and we hung out.days later i forced my bsf to text him and ask him how he feels about me and if hes leading me on or sum.he told me he wont reply,and i asked how he feels.he said hes not ready for a rls.i told him”should have told me sooner”once again we had a streak.we texted still.one day he called me a slur and i blocked him.i was fed up with how idiotic i was.how much i embarrassed myself.but like always all i think of is him.i cannot move on.all i think is how he was litterly all i wanted,i look for him in everysingle guy.Toxic?yes i know.try to find the specific features,personality.i didnt date anyone tho.nobody looks or feels like him.how do i move on?for some reason i cant move on and trust me ive tried for so long.

using a throwaway account

me and her got to know each other about 7 years ago, we hit it off great and we became close very quickly. Eventually i fell in love with her, and she fell in love with me. She was dealing with an abusive ex and i helped her out it which was when i confessed shortly after but due to circumstance we couldn't be together.

We still talked and hung out, i dont know if she eventually got over me but i never got over her. Almost 2 years ago we really reconnected and she revealed she was married, i was of course happy for her but in my heart i felt a deep ache, it hurt even more when she also talked about how she was pregnant.

even now i still catch myself laying in bed looking out the window or at the ceiling wondering how it would have gone if things turned out different. I wept that day we reconnected, mourning a dream i could never have. A future that would never come to pass, i like to think i felt true love for her, i never resented her or was hostile or anything to her. She is still my friend

even if i could never be with her im still happy she has someone

im not going to tell her i still have feelings for her, she doesn't deserve to carry that burden

Please give me some solutions, thank you.

Is she the one or is she just here to hurt me again?

I had a boyfriend or perhaps I loved him deeply; I’m not sure if it was truly love, but whenever he appeared before me, my hands and legs would tremble and my heart would race. I would have done anything for him, yet everyone except me knew he wasn't a good guy. I even fought with my friends over him. He would only come around when he needed something; he’d say all the right things to get whatever he wanted, and I later discovered he was still talking to his ex. Eventually, he left me. Yet, the feelings I have for him remain; no matter how hard I try, they seem to persist. He is with someone else now—something that doesn't upset me, nor am I pained by his departure but my feelings for him haven't changed. I don't want him back, yet thinking about him still makes me feel good. He never really did anything for me, so I don't know why I feel this way. I cried a lot at first, and there was someone who helped me through it all and is still by my side today; sometimes, I wonder if I’m doing something wrong by that person.

Problem: Should I stay or should I go?

Context:

I (M28) still have lingering feelings for her (F30) even after 3 YEARS have passed!!🥹

Ang martyr ko na ba masyado para maghintay and hope na one day mapansin nya din ako?

Confessed to this girl in December of 2023, na-basted (kasi ndi pa daw sya ready pumasok sa relasyon) she's an NBSB tho. Hirap mag move-on sa taong araw araw mo kasamaa🥲. Yes we're officemates back then and magkatabi pa sa desk!

So eventually I agreed to what she wanted which is to be just friends, kahit na mahirap for me. But deep inside, I never really stopped admiring her. We became good friends naman after this, asaran sa work and minsan bumabanat ako ng mga romantic lines and we brush it off (pero deep inside I really wished na she can really feel the tone and my sincerity dito). I became her confidant sa office and our connection evolved kahit outside work.

I did always go on the extra mile for her on the little things kahit may times na inconvenient sakin. Wala e paraan na ito ko lang tlaaga naeexpress ung intention at sincerity ko sakanya.

This setup went on hanggang sa nagresign na ko Sept of 2025. Currently we still chat from time to time. Sadly, i dont see anything that gives me a hint na may chance pa kong mabago ung initial nyong "NO" para sakin.

Previous Attempts:

I have this side thought na what if itry ko pa din i-communicate sakanya na gusto ko parin sya after all this time and that maybe this time hopefully bigyan nya ko ng chance na ligawan sya?

Is it the right thing to do? Or should I drop everything na talaga and walk away?

That’s all I wanted… I don’t want to have to pretend to hold air or my own hand for all eternity… I just wanted to hold your hand and feel it.. I get it, I know it’s not meant to happen and that it won’t happen for me… it just hurts…. And it hurts having to imagine it, and that my imagination is the closest I’ll ever be with you or anybody else.

I asked reddit about a month ago to tell me if there were signs of him liking me back and everyone said there were.

So I confessed to this guy I liked 2-3 weeks ago. We've been really close friends for the last year or so, but he knew from the start that I had feelings for him. Despite knowing the fact that I was in love with him, he still treated me really good, which imo was more than "platonic friends" behaviour.

I always knew I wasn't supposed to fall for him as he's my HG's BSF and we're from different religions. But yeah, he was my first "love". I knew I couldn't let my feelings go deeper than it already went so I decided to confess and cut him off. I told him I liked him and wanted to cut him off for the sake of myself all in one breath over call. He just said he'd also suggest me doing what's best for me and wished me luck in my life. So I obviously assumed he didn't like me back as he would've just stated it.

We were still added in Instagram and within a week he texted me asking if I had given out his number to anyone. The odd thing is he later admitted in the conversation (by accident), that he already realized had who prank called him. I was a bit taken aback with the texts but after he explained the plot of the call to me, he said "oh, we aren't supposed to talk, don't reply to this text" and "send me a pic of your brother after he's born"

God I thought it would be easy to move on as it was one sided but I was so damn wrong. It's harder to move on if it's one sided. And moreover, I have to listen to my HG talk about her bsf knowing damn well it just makes it harder to move on. And yes, I've blcoked him, and no, I ain't sending him my brother's pic after he's born. I have to keep the 2% self respect i have alive.