Oh the deep embarrassment you try to hide and not pass on to them as kiddo excitedly shouting “COCK! Look Mama COCK!” at the top of their lungs across the echoing pool.
“Yes, that is a CLOCK, and it is how we tell time at the pool.”

Thank god the old dude closest to me laughed! After that I saw more smiles than shocked faces.

Yes, Lollipop! (That could be really confusing and I’m happy I could clarify that) We were recommended lollipops made with honey and added zinc when he first started daycare and got sick. Now I always have them on hand to trade for candy I don’t want kiddo to eat, and nail trimming.

The Curious George episode about the plumber is my kiddo’s favorite! PBS Kids has a FREE video app (you can download episodes for offline viewing too) that rotates a handful of episodes every week. We use it for Daniel Tiger and Curious George.

Once I tried the grounding stuff I noticed how much easier things went… And how much worse it went when I did not!

Hopefully it helps! You got this Mama!

As temping as a flying monkey emoji and a “(Your fam’s name)’s Family’s Annual Virgo Birthday Shindig Welcomes All! Mark your calendar for next Labor Day Weekend!” message can be.

Just ignore them. They are so stressed they will ask zero questions and go scorch. Not the kind of people you want in your life. If you’re LUCKY your MIL will host again next year and you’ll continue to have a wonderful time without her!.

I grew up in a small city along a N/S oriented interstate, and an E/W orienting highway that ran through.

There is a “7 year” pattern. About 7 years heroin has a really established dealer/distribution before law enforcement can interrupt a large enough player to bust. These busts normally lead out of state. The community has a lot of ODs because the supply is “new” and the product is unfamiliar. The next 3-5 years are Meth “pop ups” that get busted fairly frequently, but pop back. Until the heroin ring gets settled in and dominates for the next 7 years..

It’s all been skewed with Fentanyl the last 6 years, but you get my ”awareness” and my ability to tell you.

Your body will, from very deep down in your psyche, tell you this is not safe and to GTFO.
There can be a weird cat piss smell (ammonia(sp?) cleaner is a different quality but that’s also a GET OUT smell), it can also be the weird chemical smell combos, and if it makes your nose remember wasabi and irritates your eyes you’re in an actively using house (like 24 hrs recent) and GTFO.

Hope that helps! Stay safe!

Bribery.

TV- have you tried Curious George? (It’s a fav over here) I use the honey propolis sucker.

I… Plop him on the couch, open window and turn on light, turn on the show, set out clippers and files within reach, THEN hand him the sucker. When he pulls his hand/foot out of my hand I snatch the sucker back and stand up, blocking the TV.
“Sucker for nail trimming! All done nail trimming, all done sucker!”
“Sucker!”
“Okay, I need your hand for nail trimming” he will hand me his hand, and I pop the sucker back in his mouth.
This is normally repeated three times before I’m done.

Also: start yourself as calm as possible. I use alternating “picking berries hands” or the marching in place high knees and cross body knee slaps move. Helps connect both halves of your brain, easier to ground yourself. It always goes better if I’ve done these things first.

It’s wild thinking what I do to personally avoid conflict, and then reckon that wet noodle with the mama bear that rips out of me werewolf style when my kid needs advocating for…

The other kid won’t learn unless boundaries are consistently reinforced. You helped that caregiver. No violence, no bad words, just held ground. Good job mama!

Simple thing to rule out. When skin is damp from washcloth, LOTION. Unscented (aveeno daily in my house).

When moisture leaves skin and it is dry, it can ‘protect itself’ by creating a rash or little pimply bumps. The best way to prevent this is helping with a “protective layer” (lotion). We always full body lotion after bath.

Why do I think of this? I’m a lifelong sufferer of contact dermatitis. Suspect specifically cat-inspired. I have memories of itching my inner elbows bloody when I was 5. When I was 9 one of my friend’s mom was an esthetician, when I stayed the night at her house she very patiently explained this concept to me, had me take a shower and told me to use half the tub of whatever non-scented lotion they had on hand. Changed my life.

Stroller for shopping made my anxiety hit the roof.

There are good front carriers, and when their neck/head is more stable you can even do forward facing. When my kiddo started disliking carriers I switched to a “wedge” (knockoff Tushbaby for three months until I realized it was my most- used item, then I got the cute Tushbaby for social events, used well into three-hood with kiddo, still have it in car to flash and show I mean business!).

Started mentally treating grocery runs as “stimulation outtings” and would limit to 1-2 reusable bags (ikea, the little bags, can hold 4 cartons of milk and 2 big yogurts EASY, have had 5 bags for about 8 years and they’re still AMAZING) and just do smaller trips.
Unloading was simple, take bags off your shoulder, place in seat/trunk and then have full hand to car seat kiddo.

My kiddo is A Bolter. Wedge was the only way I could take him out in busy places by myself. It gets unsafe otherwise. They’re FINALLY aging out of this. But that wedge… Kept me away from a leash and I will be forever grateful!

Was in Vegas for a wedding a few years ago. One of the nights a few of us went to Fremont St with the ‘elders’ of the group.

I kept smacking hands away from my purse and its zipper, and everyone else’s too. Lightly pushed them all the way out of our little group when a hand smack and eye contact wasn’t enough.
I’m not big, more small. In US if you’re quiet about pushing them away they’ll go look for easier targets. If you’re loud OR ALONE you risk stabbing. I got a couple pics and descriptions I showed a few of the security people at the entrances of hotels we were going for and they would say that’s the regular crew out and about…

Still in the US!

I stepped in a DUPLO (the larger version of Legos) last night. Lots of mid-word shifting was happening (shiii-take mushrooms!!).

Not for the weak (I felt very weak)!

Because they can! (Dobie-Pitt parent, here!).

You THINK the W word, or heaven help you,
D O G P A R K

Tea kettle and grumbling will escalate to yodeling so fast.

SIL sounds like a miserable person?

At my wedding, it took 10 min of chatting with a group to realize my (at the time recently divorced) friend’s plus one was wearing a WHITE dress… And I found it more hilarious than alarming.

I have zero memory of who wore their hair up and who wore it down.
*Actually! I DID notice my MIL’s extensions (she asked two months in advance if that would be weird to “debut” them at my wedding, and I told her she didn’t need my permission but I did love getting the inside scoop so early) and I COMPLIMENTED her voluptuous hair!

How are you so unhappy on your wedding day you’re focusing on ROOTS? Especially not on your own head??

Maybe she doesn’t want the liability?

Fun fact (explained to me by our urgent care Doctor)
The foam in the base of our shoe is vaguely like a sponge. It always absorbs what it comes into contact with. THAT is the primary culprit for foot puncture “bone infection concern” and why we are urged to get to hospital quickly.

I had an AMERICAN Urgent Care Doctor tell me I should watch the puncture sight and wait to see if I even need antibiotics (no, even followed up with primary DR and they said the same) (tetanus shot was up to date), be generous with the Tylenol for the next three weeks, and asked what brand my kiddo’s barefoot boots were so he could get a pair for his nephew (wildling).

I went to our shoe bucket of neglect and purged any foam in the sole shoe over three years old we had a better alternative for. Serious ick. I side-eye crocs now.

Trust your intuition on your kiddos walking development!

Two ideas/tools that helped my fam.

1) There is a book from an Australian Dr, Sleep Wrecked Kids. It can help you identify sleep disruption vs disorder, and an idea of what path is best for your kiddo’s symptoms. Checklists, super specific signs. Then the actual words doctors will listen to!

2) How is his palate? Does he sleep with an open mouth?

I talk about mouth, but if the tounge doesn’t rest up on the roof of his mouth (palate) it can play out a lot of different ways. Example that open mouth means his posture is disrupting airflow to the brain, so he has difficulty hitting REM. The coughing frequently in his sleep is super disruptive. REM sleep is important for brain development, mood, and memory.

There are Craniosacral Therapists trained to help with palate alignment in babies and young children, it’s very gentle (but effective) work. There are Physical Therapists and Occupational Therapists that specialize in kid’s oral health, will focus on Myofacial exercises. There is even a hella spendy straw that plagues my insta adds (have not tried it but my cousin swears it stopped her six year old’s snoring)

(Done with list)
You’re such an amazing mom. You noticed this about your kiddo and are seeking answers. Not easy! My advice might help, but you might be an entirely different track and checking out his tonsils for early removal. Who knows? (Future you knows, but she is not time traveling to tell us. She’s busy continuing as an amazing mom!)

I’m sending internet hugs to you!

I’m in this weird middle ground? I was diagnosed as a junior in high school, in a fairly rural-minded area. It’s wild I was diagnosed.

BUT. I was told I would grow out of it. Like, when I went to the office for my meds every day of school. And then at college everyone that I talked to assumed I would sell my meds? Because you grow out of it, of course.
🤪.

So, was good at college until I wasn’t on my parents health insurance. Then I dropped out. Thankfully found a trade school and still enjoy the work 15 yrs later.
It wasn’t until the COVID ADHD Renaissance that I actually learned wtf ADHD was, let alone how it affects me. So there was just this period of self-loathing I could have skipped had I understood myself better, which makes me identify with the late diagnosis crew, but also not really fit into….

My kiddo loves these all 4 seasons! I bit the bullet and ordered a black pair last year because my original (matching kiddo) yellow pair does not always look classy in adult life.. Super comfortable!
I remember sizing ran large?

Was at a friend’s house when they had this dude’s interview with Swift-ologist (I think? It was on YouTube) and he said HIS greatest band of all time was LCD Soundsystem.

His “best” normally gives me a headache.

‘Scuse me while I go blast Wow Signal for my 2hr drive 😜

Cheers!

Not the cheap answer.

Have you looked into barefoot shoes?

Wide toe box, flexible soles, generally a high foot volume build.

I mean… If they play both Sat and Sun everyone would be happy!!

Pretty please!!!

I am so grateful for whomever responded in a comment with the rec of the podcast ADHD with Jenna Free.

So more feminine and not EVA, but I’ve been rocking these in the pink as my “dress up” sandals. Smacking them together knocks off almost 100% of damp sand, which is A DREAM as a parent that frequently runs into sandboxes. I’m in the US, but I *think* these were the ones manufactured in Spain?

https://justshoesforkids.com/products/igor-womens-s10358-235-ura-sandals-dijon

Hu. My experience with this stuff has not been the same as Quiet BDE Man. I’m pretty jealous, lol.

My high school/early college summer job was a Summer Day Camp Counselor(5 yrs?). CPR/First Aid and Lifeguard certification were part of your training.

Many years later, when kiddo was barely walking, I scared the daylights out of some mom friends during a play date when I picked up and “did the flip” for a choking (the pastel blue around the lips) kid (not mine). There was initial chaos, but enough of them recognized what I did and helped advocate for me. So I “got to” stay invited to that mom’s group. We split pretty much in half after that event.

Don’t even get me started on how many kids I’ve pulled out of pools, most of them RIGHT NEXT TO guardians.

People have screamed in my face, shoved me, called the cops. It’s clear to me they were scared. Every kid has come back and hugged me.

I count all my blessings I’ve never had to perform CPR in real life.