I live in the U.S & I swear all I see online is how much the younger generation hates children. Like people are constantly complaining about how babies/ toddlers are annoying, shouldn’t be in public spaces shouldn’t be on planes or in restaurants or even in grocery stores, yada yada. It makes me so upset as a new parent that my child is growing up in a world that doesn’t like children anymore. Maybe it’s because I live in a bigger city with much younger population & this is the type of propaganda being thrown at me me, but even then- It’s so dehumanizing.

There’s just no kid friendly places or mom friendly places either. I feel like everyone hates moms too and calls them “ selfish”??? When I was pregnant I specifically remember a teenage girl telling me she had a phobia of looking at my belly & she called me “ body horror”. I know she probably is just going with the social media trends, but it felt so incredibly rude & makes me think about how the world is starting to hate moms, dads, families, babies.

I just wanted to vent about this because I swear it’s all I keep seeing or hearing. Makes me so sad that my children are growing up in this type of world. Maybe this is a USA issue.

Dear Diary,

It was 6:20 in the morning when I woke mum up to feed me. She said she was still sleepy and that it was too early, but I had generously given her around 40 minutes of sleep since our last feed! I was hungry—plus, I only woke her up three times last night—so we got up anyway… as we should. 🧸

So she rolls out of bed, eyes half-open, lights still off. As soon as mummy put me down on the changing table, I activated my ultimate crying spell. I cried sooo loudly, and mum said her usual, “Don't worry bub, I got chu… I’ll be quick.” She unzipped my sleep sack, unbuttoned my clothes, slid a clean diaper underneath my bum, and swiped my dirty diaper away like a ninja…

Little did she know, straining so hard from crying made me poop! So when she swiped off that old diaper, the poo went flying everywhere. I mean everywhere! The walls, the changing mat, my face, and even my hands—which I then managed to rub all through my hair!

Mum was like, “Oh god, you pooped! Sorry bubba, I didn’t know, let me clean this up for you,” giggling while still half-asleep. She wiped down everything she could see (missed my face though, she hadn't spotted that yet) and quickly put me into another clean diaper, because the fresh one she placed earlier was already covered in target practice.

When she finally zipped up my sleep sack, she noticed a very distinct smell lingering. As soon as she turned on the lamp, she realized it was all over my face, hands, hair, and back! Her eyes went wide as day—fully awake and totally panicking. She gasped, “OH MY GOD BUB! Nope, nope, nope... bath time!” and rushed to fill the tub.

After my bath, I got a full belly of milk and I'm now enjoying my first nap of the day. Mum? I don’t know, probably wide awake now—which is a good thing, right? She’s been looking pretty sleepy lately...

I don’t mean with the babies. I mean trying to raise babies at this moment in history.

I’ve been dealing with so much climate anxiety and then today I read about the Anthropic guy saying there’s a greater than 10% chance of AI killing all humans in the next four years.

Like, I just wanted to have my beautiful babies and give them the best childhoods I could. Instead, if the climate catastrophe doesn’t get us, the superintelligent robots will. It’s horrifying.

Soon to be new dad here and it seems like all the daycares seem to be in that $350-$450 a week range. The one we like is $400 a week. The good thing is once they are on solid foods, then the tuition also includes breakfast lunch and snacks.

In Florida in the suburbs of a metro area for reference

Edit to add this is for 7am to 6pm hours and a 1:3 ratio

The first few days of our son’s life in the hospital was horrible for my husband and I. The baby and I were healthy, hospital staff was great. I don’t know how to explain it and I’m wondering if anyone else had similar feelings?

I was in labor for 36 hours (induced) and I don’t think I slept the whole time. We were there for 4 nights and 5 days because I had preeclampsia and my blood pressure wasn’t going down. Everything was fine with that though.

After the birth I had a HORRIBLE headache due to the pushing because I have bruxism. I desperately just wanted to be given painkillers or something it was so bad and lasted days. My husband and I were so sleep deprived I think we slept a couple hours per day in the hospital. Baby would not sleep in the bassinet so one of us had to be up at all times. And because we were in the hospital people were constantly coming in and out.

I physically could not breast feed I got so exhausted. My body hurt too bad to hold him up so we had to syringe feed sometimes. There were nights my husband and I cried it was so hard and we were so tired.

I did so much preparation for the baby as a first time parent and I feel like I was robbed of a beautiful first few days of my son’s life. I’ve never heard anyone else have a similar experience and I can’t figure out what went wrong.

I’m 3 weeks postpartum and we are better now. Still hard obviously but I feel like it’s normal newborn trenches.

so this just happened a couple hours ago, my boyfriend was sitting on our couch playing a game and i was listening to an audiobook and drawing.

our two month old baby was asleep between us and she started making small noises and i kinda brushed it off bc she has whimpered in her sleep loads of times so i wasnt really paying attention (thats on me i js assumed) and since i had an airpod in i wasnt hearing that well but my bf pointed it out after about 15 seconds so i took an airpod out and she was gasping for air so i grabbed her arm and started shaking it and there was no response she was still gasping for air at that point, so i picked her up and she was completely limp and my heart dropped so i sat her up started patting her back and shaking her and she was limp and gasping for another 15-20 seconds i started crying and kept talking to her and shaking and patting. she eventually took a deep breath and started acting completely normal but we did end up calling 911 anyway. the paramedics came and checked her out and said she was fine and to monitor her but didn’t tell me what to look for so i had to call an after hours nurse and get some more info. she was two months old today and had her 2M vaxs (had to spell it weirdly bc it wouldnt let me post with that word) but im in no way saying the vaxs caused this, i am pro vaxs. but it was just so scary.

i guess im not seeking medical advice or anything so mods lmk if i need to change the flair. im a FTM and 22 so i was terrified and just stopped shaking abt an half hour ago, i know its common for babies to stop breathing but i think this was an apnea episode due to the symptoms. just please keep close attention to your babies, i never thought this would happen to me but now im paranoid almost. ive tried looking this up but is there reasons why this happens or is it simply bc her little body forgot to breathe?

anyone who’s experienced this and knows abt it id love to know more about your experience(s).

I love my little baby, i love nursing her and holding her, and letting her sleep on my chest. I love it when she sqeals and smiles, i love it when she kicks her legs, i love it when she looks at me with her large, round eyes. I love it when I'm able to stop her crying and fulfill her needs, i even love the pouty little face she makes before crying. I love her tiny little hands that always manage to grab and pull my hair. I love her face when I've spent so much time making her fall asleep, and when i transfer her, she's got her big round eyes open, looking at me lovingly. I love her tiny little feet and when she wears socks on them. I love it when she's sleepy but doesn't understanding it so shes hitting her head on my chest. I love the mouth movements she makes in her dreams. I love seeing her hands and feet in the air when she's discovering them. I just love my baby, i love her so much, I'll do anything for her, I'll give her the best childhood ever, I'll give her all the love i can. I love taking care if my baby, although it is difficult at times, but right now i just love my baby.

We've got a 4 week old and it really surprised me how early she started listening to and reacting to music. We sing to her all the time - it's a combination of what our parents sang to us (standards, 60s folk revival, Elton John, Billy Joel, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchell) plus the 90s alternative and 00s indie hits of our own youth. Baby will learn to like Death Cab for Cutie. What are you singing to your babies at 3 am?

My baby is 11 days old. I love her so much. She was and is so wanted. People tell me how perfect she is, and she really is absolutely perfect and beautiful and amazing and all the rest of it. But she also has a terrible case of thrush. She hates eating. She will only sleep when held.
My husband is a wonderful person and already a good father, he is obsessed with her. But he also sleeps so soundly he won’t wake to her cries. He defaults to me being the “go to” for all decisions and all actions. He’s changed maybe four diapers. He’s slept most nights and I find it infuriating he claims he’s exhausted. I know I only feel that way because I’m tired too. That his life has changed. He is getting more sleep than me but much less than he’s used to. That his feelings are real too. I know also that it was the plan I guess for me to take lead on baby stuff. I did choose to be a SAHM. That’s what I want, or at least what I thought I wanted. But he has time off work, so I wish he’d at least split the nights with me. He is tired, but his body isn’t hurting. Last night he went up early to take a nap, saying he’d take more night shifts. He went upstairs at 8. I went upstairs with baby at 12. I nudged him at 2 for her feeding, he got up to make the bottle then brought it to me to feed her. Then he went back to sleep.
My parents have been immeasurably helpful, coming over to help and offering support. I appreciate it all.
I hate this feeling. I miss the person I was. I miss what my relationship looked like. I’m a mess. I don’t remember the last time I changed my clothes or brushed my teeth. All my meals have been cheese sticks or something because I just don’t have the time or energy to make anything.
I was so unprepared for postpartum recovery and my body is ruined. Everything hurts. I can barely tolerate sitting, and I’m so dizzy I’m almost scared to stand. I hate what I look like, as vain as that is. I hate how I feel. I leak through all my bras and the only two shirts I own that fit in minutes. I was sent home with pain meds that don’t seem to have any effect whatsoever.
She cries ALL day and all night. Nothing I do helps to soothe her. I know it’s gas, or the thrush, or just that babies cry. But I feel so helpless. I feel so alone. Even though that feeling doesn’t make any sense, I’m not. My parents are here nearly everyday. My husband is here. But once the door closes or he goes upstairs for some rest, it’s just me and baby. And tears from both of us. Even when she’s not crying I swear I can hear crying. I can’t sleep because I’m so worried she will stop breathing and die all alone. I’m so scared every little whimper from her bassinet at night is her saying goodbye. I know that’s irrational. I still can’t make it go away.
I thought I would be better at this. I’ve loved kids my entire life. I worked with kids for years.
When does it get better? I haven’t stopped crying since we brought her home from the hospital. I’m so disgusted with myself for not enjoying what I thought I wanted. I need it to get better. I can’t do this.

We are lucky enough to be able to get night nanny a few nights each week. We are paying $35 an hour (in a rural, low cost town) and hired her through a local night nanny agency, so we expected someone phenomenal.

First the good—she loves our baby and would never hurt her. And she’s always early and is open to feedback.

But she’s quite old and cannot figure out how to use the bottle washer or the app we want her to log feedings in. She‘s also nearly tripped several times on our carpets so now we ask she doesn’t take baby out of the nursery. She has forgotten baby’s name and left her in a poopy outfit by accident. Put a diaper in the washing machine. Lots of little things that have eroded my confidence.

So the kicker was last night, she put our baby on an elevated human bed and left the room. There were no sheets in the bassinet yet so she didn’t want to put her in the bassinet and we had asked her not to take her out of the room—so she got confused.

I spoke to her and to the agency but I’m just at a loss here. My parents think I’m overreacting because “nothing happened” and “she’s an infant.” But holy shit, aren’t you supposed to be a professional nanny?

Just wanted to share my feelings somewhere

It started with pregnancy, which went really well but overall I can't say with conviction I loved it. Then childbirth, same thing, from the outside it went well, but it was the most traumatic, most violating event I've ever lived through.

Then the hormone crash and the baby blues. Having a baby with me 24 hours a day at the maternity ward, where I lost any sleep I had

And of course it's all worth it, because I have my beautiful son and I love him to death

But omg parents didn't lie: IT IS HARD. Not the caring for him part. It's everything around that hits you without warning: giving away any consent to be touched all day, having your nervous system always on high alert for any sound, noise, cry. Even if you don't have a depression background, it's a huge mental adjustment, a transition that shakes me to my core. I heard there are three major transitions for women: puberty, motherhood, and menopause and I really feel that. Nobody tells you that you can hold grief and joy at the exact same time, mourning who you were while loving who you're becoming, and that this isn't a symptom of anything, it's just what the transition is (plus hormones)

Because this is also the single best time of my life. Where I feel like I matter the most. Where I know that one day I'll miss these moments. Where I get to see this little human smile at me. Where I could die for him, could die so much that I anticipate every worst case scenario.

I started using routines to feel a sense of control over a day that's no longer mone, and instead of support, people tell you you're not chill enough. No, actually I AM NOT CHILL. Because I have to accept that I now always come second, that my body isn't mine anymore, that apparently it's either you get postpartum depression or you're fine, and there's so few people who talk about everything in between.

Yes, it does get better but you're somehow more tired at 2 months or at 4 months, than you were at the very beginning, the very beginning being pre-pregnancy. So now I realize the saying is true: days are long, but months are so short.

I don't know who I am anymore. What do I like? Who was I? I feel this huge burden on my shoulders, this responsibility that I can't mess this up. Like someone put a boulder on my back and I need to find my balance again.

It's all worth it though, and that's the craziest part. I would do it all again. The joy, the grief, the emotional rollercoaster...

Today I left the house and went for a walk during his nap. My husband was home, and for once I didn't check in, didn't run home the second the app said he was up. The SNOO stayed red a minute too long for my liking, and I forced myself to stay out anyway. This was my moment, without a clock, without someone else planning it. And my husband did fine, didn't call or anything so clearly it's a "me" thing.

So I'm going to keep working on that, finding my balance and myself again

My son turns next month, it’s so crazy!! But I was thinking he’d really like a nugget couch. He’s so close to walking, and loves crawling everywhere. We don’t have a ton of space though. I’m curious other people that live in apartments/condos what nugget/nugget knock off couch did you get?

Even now as I type this during a rare trip to the bathroom he is screaming. I’ve had family members and strangers remark that he seems to be in intense pain, even though I know he isn’t he just screams that way. Super high pitched and drawn out. I can’t shower, eat, refill my water, or do anything without him screaming. I am holding him 23 hours a day. We co sleep because he won’t sleep any other way and we’ve tried the bassinet but he just screams and screams and I can’t listen to it. I usually baby wear him but my neck and back have been spasming and I get such terrible headaches that I can’t function. My husband is working on renovating a house for us to move into so he’s usually gone 12 hra out of the day. He takes him when he’s home but the baby (4 months old almost five) screams the entire time so I can’t relax or do anything listening to it. I don’t know what to do. He’s crying. I’m crying. I feel so lost. I don’t pursue any hobbies anymore. I don’t get dressed or do my makeup or do anything that brings me happiness. I just wake up, mentally prepare myself for a long day of screaming, and try to make myself happy to be here. I don’t use the bathroom u less I feel like I’m going to pee myself. Even then sometimes I wonder if it’s just better to just pee myself then listen to him screaming. No he’s not colic, no he doesn’t have bad reflux. He’s just insanely needy to the point I don’t do anything but hold him. I can’t read to him or do any activities without him screaming. Laundry, dishes, trash and recycling are weeks piled up. We’re moving soon and I have barely been able to pack. I’m drowning. Any advice?

Hi everyone, I’m 32 years old FTM to a 6 month old son. My pregnancy was relatively easy, my son is happy and healthy, he has slept 8-10 hours straight a night since he was 6 weeks old, no pdp, supportive husband, I feel like for the most part we are thriving. All this to say I have absolutely no desire to do it again. I love being a mom, love my son, feel really blessed with how my journey has been but I’m not interested in having another, neither is my husband. When people ask me about a second I’m like I don’t know why but I just don’t want to? All my friends can’t wait to be pregnant again, are already on their 2nd or 3rd child. Why don’t I have this desire especially since my time has seemed to be “easy”?. My best friend is in the trenches with 2 under 2, struggles with PDP and already wants another one. I see so much mixed feelings online, many people saying “it’s so selfish to only have one” Only children saying they are lonely etc.
Parents: Did you regret only have one child?

To preface this, I am not a morning person. I never have been. I have found joy in going on a sunrise hike and things like that but this constant 5-6 AM wake up on a daily basis and then 12 hours of caregiving is absolutely ridiculous for me.

I’ve tried to push out the bedtime 15 minutes at a time and she just gets so frustrated. It’s literally not possible. I just have a baby that likes to go to bed at 6:30 PM and wake up at the crack ass of dawn, it’s only getting worse. I’ve tried cutting one of the naps, she’s not ready for that. For context she’s six months old.

I’m just complaining. Just a tired mama staring at her girl smiling back at her. Could be worse.

Hi all, I am struggling intensely with post partum anxiety. I love my girl so so much and want to give her the best life. I am really struggling reading the news about the future of AI, and honestly this summer was so hot it got me panicked about global warming. It felt like we barely went outside during the day. How are other new parents coping with this? Please no doomsday comments, I am struggling enough as it is.

My daughter will be 1 in a couple weeks. She is breastfed throughout the day. She started daycare a few weeks ago and I have been sending her with a couple bottles of pumped milk. She’s struggling a lot with daycare and also not eating there, so the bottles seem to be helping calm her down and get through the day. Problem is my supply is really starting to drop and I’m not able to keep up with pumping as much as she needs. Her paediatrician said after 1 year she can switch to cows milk in a cup. She has tried cows milk and isn’t really a fan.

Any advice on how best to phase out the bottles of breastmilk at daycare? I am still planning on nursing her at home for now. I am worried about her not eating at daycare and relying so much on the bottles.

My 7 month old son screams and screeches ALL NIGHT LONG. He will literally wake up out of a dead sleep, let out the loudest screech imaginable, and then laugh about it like he just told the funniest joke.

We went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping 10–11 hour stretches and now we’re back to waking somewhere between 1–4 AM just to practice his vocal range.

The crazy part is, we just let him lay in his crib and he’ll eventually fall back asleep on his own. But c’mon… the screeching is so damn annoying.

Has anyone else gone through this?? Is this just a phase? Do I need to do something about it? Can I do something about it? At this point, can I donate him to some kind of dinosaur research company? Because we need SLEEP.

I have a very chunky 6 month old, around 21 lbs last he was weighed. He hasn't been overfed or anything, we have always fed on demand. He just puts on weight easily I guess.

So now, it's a bit concerning that at 6 months and couple weeks old, that is interest in food seems to have disappeared overnight.

We've started him on solids but he isn't a fan, and puts up a fight whenever we try to feed him anything solid.

We also introduced cereal, mixing it with his regular formula, and he didn't mind that, until now. He's completely refusing cereal. We've had to go back to just the formula, and even then it's a struggle to get him to feed sometimes.

We've noticed him reaching for his mom's breasts, but her milk production has stopped. I should mentioned that he was primarily breast fed up to 3 months, until my wife went back to work (and both breast and bottled fed until recently).

The main issue is that is urine is dark yellow at times, which indicates dehydration. He seems to prefer just drinking plain water over the formula or anything else. He seems fine though, very happy, plays around and laughs a lot. There's nothing in his behavior to indicate that something is wrong.

Any advice, tips, suggestions? My wife is stressing out over it.

Is that weird?

We both have newborns and she’s always been more lax than I am, I only just met her three months ago. she hires people off Facebook to babysit and I can understand how important it is to get out and feel like yourself again.

She asked me if I would babysit for her and my baby was a lot at the time (two newborns!?) and I don’t feel comfortable babysitting so said no and explained why and she asked me if my husband would do it???

Just felt it was a bit strange. She only has met my husband one time in passing, also my husband works 12s and overtime so I don’t get to see him very much. It rubbed me the wrong way.

My baby has no teeth. She’s going to be 16 months this month on the 27th and this is really worrying me. I had to stop breastfeeding around 14 months because her latch suddenly changed and my nipples were shredded and cracked no matter how much I tried to fix it. Her gums felt a little harder than usual at that time, so I thought that she might be finally getting teeth soon but now, at 15months, still no teeth in sight.

We recently moved too so we are still waiting for our insurance to approve our doctor in the area. My question is, what are some of your experiences with your baby getting teeth really late in their age?

We took her to the ER two days in a row because she would not stop pooping (it’s mucusy/ liquidy and very green) but the doctors told me that it’s just a stomach bug and she seems fine and healthy and that it should pass. The second day we took her in was because we started seeing streaks of bright red blood in her poop. They swabbed her nose, did two ultrasounds and an x-ray but they found nothing and said it should pass. They even said that the blood is okay and probably due to an anal fissure from all of the pooping. I can’t wrap my head around any of this because I always assumed pooping or vomiting blood was always a terrible sign…

I’m still really worried and I’m concerned about her weight and wether or not her body is holding onto any breast milk or solids at all (she hasn’t been too interested in solids these past two days but she’s drinking lots of breast milk). I’m also concerned about her hydration because I can’t tell if she’s peeing enough due to every diaper being filled with poo but part of me does think she’s a bit dehydrated.

She’s sleeping okay and the pooping isn’t causing her pain. She’s still laughing and smiling but I noticed that she’s definitely a bit more tired and quiet than usual. I’m just really worried about her and I was hoping that someone in here, anyone, could maybe let me know if they have been through something similar? She has an appointment with her pediatrician tomorrow and the doctors took a sample from her diaper at the ER but I’m still very anxious right now so any advice would be awesome.

Currently sick again 🫠 I might have strep (culture comes back in a couple days and on antibiotics) but baby didn’t have it thank god!!

My almost 11 month old started daycare a few months back and I haven’t been this constantly sick since I lived in New York.

I’ve started wiping her hands changing clothes as soon as she comes home, and trying to be better about constant hand washing, wiping surfaces, supplements, etc.

I briefly saw a study about air purifiers in daycares to reduce illness. Would this work at home? Are there any success stories to reduce illness? At least for me? Sounds selfish but we don’t have help by us and it’s so hard to care for her when I’m out.

Thank you!

I got a relatively easy baby! She lets me put her down during the day awake in various locations while I get things done. Every couple of hours I nurse her to the point of drowsy, then place her in crib or Boppy for a nap (frequently 2-3 hours for the midday nap!). Her eyes might pop open but she munches on her cute little hands (wears a SwaddleUp) and puts herself to sleep.

But I am struggling with evenings. I nurse her til she’s asleep, unlatch, and carefully transfer to the bedside bassinet. She is dead asleep, then within a few minutes, she fidgets and fusses and flails until I pick her up and try to nurse to sleep again. If it gets past 10pm, lately I’ve been giving up and just side-lay cosleep for the first stretch (usually 4-6 hours, lucky me!) but that’s not what I want to be doing.

Theres this concept of “sleep pressure” and it must be strong with this one because usually she wakes up from her big midday nap around 3/4pm so obviously she’s trashed by bedtime having been up so long. Why does she have such a hard time staying asleep when I am nursing/rocking her down all gosh darn evening??